#100 | Would You Rather | 100 not out!

00:00:02:18 – 00:00:29:03
I don't know if you have it, but I do know that you have seen. But through. I don't know what's happened. I have it. I've had a tweet go what I would call viral. Yeah, that has then been screengrab one posted on Instagram banner. Right. Hang on a second Rick. Let's give this some like start from the beginning when what was you doing?

00:00:29:05 – 00:00:56:16
Why did you tweet it? I was at a Wetherspoons at the O2 because my daughter's my missus and my daughter's best mate were going to see Tate McRae at the O2 arena, and during that time I was like, I'll take myself off to the Wetherspoons pop our sink a few pints and wait for them, and then that'll be it, really.

00:00:56:18 – 00:01:21:21
And I was sitting there looking at my phone, just having a, you know, my mind, thoughts lost my mind, thought and a glass smashed. And I immediately look up to the to scan the room when if ready for someone to go away. Nothing happened. So I'm in a Wetherspoons. It's fucking packed. It's a hot day so everyone's in a good mood.

00:01:21:21 – 00:01:45:19
Everyone's down, drinks. No one said a word I was gobsmacked is outrageous. That's outrageous. Gone. You'd expect a, you know, a smattering of not even anyone to say anything. No one said anything. It was just swept up and put in the bin. I was like, what the fuck? You know what happened? So then I decided to eat something along the lines of the tweet.

00:01:45:19 – 00:02:15:14
Yeah, go and read it out then, because I can't remember it sat in spoons and the barman just smashed the glass. Not a single way. This country is finished. Full stop that got. Yeah, 55,000 likes, 2.6 thousand retweets and, all the other stuff that comes with it, mate, when you say you. That's a viral tweet that's of all of us.

00:02:15:14 – 00:02:39:20
I think that is the most viral tweet any of us have ever seen. I've never seen. I've never got anywhere near 55 K thousand. The closest thing you say the other week you've got 70. No, 20. What are you talking about? Getting fingered. Yeah. Yeah yeah. No I got 20 for that one. Oh fuck me. It's like 55 K by far and away the.

00:02:39:24 – 00:03:05:11
But then on the, the the banner accounts as well. Right down here the banter accounts great British memes on Instagram near on 20,000 likes and Scottish pat near on 12. So if you have screengrab your tweet and have shared it on their social media. That's right. Yeah. And obviously and then it was like, I don't know, maybe I can't remember 600 replies on Twitter or something that I can't remember.

00:03:05:13 – 00:03:31:07
But what I found really interesting with that, there was a lot of people with the same or similar replies and apparently when someone drops it, when someone drops a drink in, whether it was just in Westminster, you drop a grass sack. The juggler. What did no one chat out? Sack the juggler. That is that thing. Never heard of that.

00:03:31:09 – 00:03:55:05
Never in my life. But loads of people replied of it. I know now that is fucking weird. Then as I scrolling through now, you kind of like, obviously I'm in social media trying to understand that you can't really understand what is going to bang and what's not. Some people have a really good, sense check for it and they can just do it, but ability can do it.

00:03:55:07 – 00:04:18:07
Yeah. Exactly. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. And I, I wasn't looking for a, for a bank or anything. It's just something that popped into my head and I tweeted it and that's what happened. But what I think happened is, you know, the n part of the tweet, which was, what's happened to this country or this country?

00:04:18:09 – 00:04:44:14
This country's finished. Now, that is kind of the, a rhetoric that is with the, you know, maybe the right side of this country is finished. London is fallen. Yeah. That type of, you know, that that first hand. Yeah. So I noticed that a lot of the retweets and a lot of the replies were, you know, had eating jokes in Saint George's and stuff like that.

00:04:44:19 – 00:05:15:00
So I didn't know whether it was like, I'd stumbled across, a bot farm where it engages with tweets that have a certain emotive response that will, you know, they will. Yeah. I mean, I was looking through a scene, right? So a lot of them were real. So I don't know whether it just resonated with people because it's like it's funny that someone's put this country's finish because of no one weighed when a glass was dropped.

00:05:15:02 – 00:05:39:22
But, I mean, I don't really want to look too far into it. Yeah, but I was just trying to understand why it wasn't, like, really funny or anything like that. Like, why did that go? It go. I think what happens is, is that. Yeah. It's kind of you if you, if you know the joke, you feel included in it where there are sections of society wouldn't understand what that means.

00:05:39:24 – 00:05:57:13
So you feel like you're a part of a club so that makes you. Yeah. Like, I think there's like a psychology to that. Like for example, I did I tweeted, I just all I did was I found this clip so funny. Whereas there's a, there's a, there's a TikTok account where it's a parent and he's got two kids.

00:05:57:15 – 00:06:16:22
And essentially that's all about their relationship and how he parents and he's it's just an interesting he's an enigmatic guy and his kids are sort of very sweet and they really respect him, but they also kind of push him a little bit. So there's something really beautiful and genuine about it. I really like it. Anyway, he did this bit where he got his kid to.

00:06:16:24 – 00:06:35:00
To to see. Remember when we were kids? You go not for your mates. Yeah, I know what you talking about. If you go not for your mates. When you didn't have phones, you literally had to knock on the front door and confront a parent. This this is a daily occurrence. If you wanted to go out and be with your mates, that's what you had to do.

00:06:35:02 – 00:06:57:15
You don't ring the house phone, you just knock on the door. And obviously there was an etiquette involved in that because everyone in those days, you respected your friend's parents. Without question. You did. And that's your proper rung. And, and so he, he, it was essentially like knocking for your friends in the 90s is what it was called.

00:06:57:17 – 00:07:16:04
And this kid obviously has no experience of this at all. They're talking to their friends on WhatsApp. He has no idea what to do. He's about 12 or 13 years old. He says, go on then knock on the door. And he keeps getting it wrong. It's fucking hilarious because you're we're in on the joke. We know we can see what he's doing if that comes out.

00:07:16:06 – 00:07:36:06
And I think and all the replies to that were people my age going, yeah, people don't remember. This was what it was like. So maybe there's something. So I think in order to say, if you want to figure out how to go viral, it's sort of tapping into an unspoken thing. And it's something also you don't really think about the way I like.

00:07:36:06 – 00:07:55:23
And it stems back from school, school times when someone would drop their plate in the dinner hall. Ray. So maybe it's something to do with that. I think it's a funny joke. You're in spoons. It's funny, you know that you're in spoons. You're on your own waiting for your kids from a tight knit crate. You. One of the, one of the replies.

00:07:55:23 – 00:08:21:13
I got to it. Which, I'll read that now. I done a way in a maccas after a teenage disco when I was about 15, after one of the staff dropped a chair on the ground, he turned around and he had Down's syndrome. I've never done away again since, right? Yeah, but then the next bit.

00:08:21:15 – 00:08:38:23
He says a night I've never forgotten. He came over to me and told me if he ever saw me on a football pitch, it drew me in as well. I had to respect it. So this was like, this reminds me the time when a kid, I thought I could have this, beat this other kid up because he was deaf.

00:08:39:00 – 00:09:00:19
If I ever told you that. Sorry. Yeah. His name was, I just was. I was completely confident that I could battery just because he was deaf for calling it being up, but being deaf, being out of here in a street fight or not a street fight when you're a kid. But being able to hear in a, like, a little kerfuffle doesn't hinder you or help you.

00:09:00:19 – 00:09:17:20
Oh, he's still a bloke. You can kick my ass. But I just thought because he was deaf, he had no chance to show me. Yeah. Well, he was one of the ones where I managed to apologize when I realized I was in trouble. He was bigger than me as well. I just just there was no thought. I couldn't have been more than 11.

00:09:17:20 – 00:09:44:13
12. I move 13, amazing. Records. What question? Well, go on, go on. Why did you reply to everybody? Reply to your tweet? Oh, no. Excuse for a few. Because of the. I wanted to see how far I could get it going. So. So you reply the engagement. Yeah. Feeding it, feeding it. Yeah yeah yeah. Did you feel in any way self-conscious that so many people have seen your tweet and looks at your pictures?

00:09:44:17 – 00:10:06:22
I'm in the picture as well actually. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. No, I, need to eat. Would you call it change that profile picture just in case something like that happens? Okay. I think I'm on ecstasy in that picture. Maybe. Maybe that's quite that was that was that was that. That's what is that was what would have been my,

00:10:06:24 – 00:10:29:04
Stag. The stag. Yeah. Yeah. That was, that got canceled because it was, a storm and it was going to blow the festival off the top of the. That's right. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, sorry about that. My, I wanted to talk about your, because you've, like, the thing is actually leading into that. You obviously you've had that affair.

00:10:29:06 – 00:11:02:00
A few viral tweets as well. Yeah. Because you're, you're used to your face being on that overlap Saturday social the, you know, whatever. And you're used to, people, football fans, 98% of football fans are pals anyway. But that type of, I don't know, engagement and people comment in and saying stuff and all that lot. And we've spoken about it before about you can kind of, you know, you can switch off from it because it's just the internet.

00:11:02:00 – 00:11:21:18
Yeah. So when this was happening and I was seeing some of the replies and stuff, no, there wasn't like coming for me or anything at all saying anything, harsh or anything like that. Yeah. But there was this strange feeling of it doesn't matter. It's on the internet. It's not real life. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

00:11:21:24 – 00:11:44:08
This this disconnect from that doesn't actually mean anything. Or it doesn't impact my actual life, you know? I mean, I'm not going to walk down the street and be like, hey, you the geezer that taught you that spoon straight or, like, you know, I mean, it just means nothing. But I wonder if that happened more regularly or I was on, you know, TV or whatever.

00:11:44:10 – 00:12:03:10
That it would affect me differently, like your, your tweets that can you remember off by heart what your viral tweet is? The one I keep doing over and over again? Why do you keep saying, yeah, I don't remember off my heart, but I've just put it out and you speak as I think. I think I knew where you were going.

00:12:03:12 – 00:12:23:10
Good. So says I've just seen Frank in, This is. If you're not a Spurs fan of football fan, this is alluding to the signing of Thomas Frank. This is just seen Frank in a hotel room. I asked if he was joining Spurs. Sorry, in a hotel. I asked if he was joining Spurs. He laughed and winked at me.

00:12:23:12 – 00:12:47:15
Then he grabbed me by the hair, drag me into the toilet and fingered me while whispering, Tottenham till I die. Over and over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will hashtag HFC. That's how you like, 1.7 million people read that tweet. So for context, it's satire. Obviously it's not true law people.

00:12:47:16 – 00:13:19:17
Guy and this is weird, mate. This is a weird thing to say. And it goes back to 2019 when I did the exact same tweet word for word, but just changed Thomas Frank to Dybala, who was a much sought after. And that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in 2019 when I just worked for Bull Street and I just didn't really have any responsibilities or I wasn't based on my income, wasn't based on it was based on what I did in the workplace, not how I behave all the time.

00:13:19:19 – 00:13:41:10
Like, you know, and I knew when I was sending that tweet that the pilot tweet in 2019 that this was going to bang. I knew it would. I just knew sometimes you realize this is fucking funny. And it did. It got about 5000 views, likes. Anyway, that was fine. It was funny. You got no. So fast forward six years.

00:13:41:10 – 00:14:05:24
Everything's different now, right? I've got my own job. I've got. I've worked for myself. I've got, I go on talkSPORT, I go on the overlap. I had talked to people on a professional level at sports brands right. And I've. And I don't want to be I know you're probably rich when I say, but you are in in yourself a brand yourself, aren't you?

00:14:06:00 – 00:14:22:17
To some degree you might. I mean, yeah, yeah. No, I know what you're saying. It's like you can't damage your reputation by. Yeah. So there is you have to be aware of how you, you all received. Yeah. So I was sort of sitting at a, had a glass of wine and I was sitting there and I was going, do I send this tweet?

00:14:22:19 – 00:14:48:01
Do I send this one now in on June 8th? Do I send this tweet? Because I know this is funny and because I've done it so many times, I've done I might have sent that tweet 4 or 5 times in the last six years, depending on what players might be coming in is it is the payoff of sending it and last, people laughing and I did I just the fun of doing it.

00:14:48:03 – 00:15:12:18
But what's the impact when the next time someone sends text my my social media for talkSPORT, can we have this guy on. Oh my god, he sent this. And not just saying, if you don't get this, if you don't get that this is stupid and funny and ridiculous, yeah, then I'm not the right person to book. I think it's so abstract and funny.

00:15:12:18 – 00:15:30:07
It's weird. You can't possibly take it as a serious lot. People do the thing, you know? I mean, and this is what's scary about it is that the amount of people that respond going, this is what do you mean? What do you mean? Some couple of people are, is this real or of course is not. How can it ever be real?

00:15:30:07 – 00:15:51:01
I'm grabbed by the hair of another man, I'm dragged into a toilet. And to convince me, to convince me that he's signing for Spurs, he fingered me right and then whispered in my ear, I'm Tottenham till I die. Make of that what you will. That if you don't see it right, if you don't think it's funny, that's fine, right?

00:15:51:01 – 00:16:23:06
But if you think that that's what happened, that's crazy. But so I just fucking for send it. But then 20 K is different from five K is a different thing. And a lot of people say, oh, you've stolen that joke. That's the that's the that's the thing, Rick. People say you stole that joke. You stolen that. Because what's happened is when I first posted that the that the Dybala won in 2019, football, Twitter and elsewhere started recreating their own ones very similar to mine, but change in bits here and there for their respective clubs.

00:16:23:06 – 00:16:42:16
So there may be 100,000 versions of this tweet on the internet, but people think I've nicked it and it takes everything in my body, everything in my being to go, no, no, it's mine first. It's my first. I'm 43. It shouldn't matter. But I'm what you wanted, I did. Yeah, I want to I want to know. I'm not copying it.

00:16:42:16 – 00:17:04:13
That's all I wanted to know anyway. So. Yeah, it's a it's a bit of a weird thing. It's not a human thing. Like for you to to get that much attention over a messages. It's a weird situation. Where did. Yeah. This, Yeah. I don't really want to think about it if I'm applying it to real life. Did you get more followers?

00:17:04:15 – 00:17:27:23
I don't really know. Not really. There was a few smattering of followers, but it wasn't, like, crazy numbers or anything like that. But yeah, it is. I think like when you do stuff like that, people just accept it for what it is, like it and move on that they they do. I think anyone's really going to be, checking out my profile to see what I can offer them in the way of pants.

00:17:27:24 – 00:17:40:04
The. Nah, we we've got a lot to get through. So let me throw on the painting. Yeah, through the jingle.

00:17:40:06 – 00:18:08:13
The night I see, like, Band of Brothers playing tunes high is quite midnight. Waves surfing through time. Daylight breaks. Rhythm of different ways. Love of music that we played with our tongues in cheek band I we like to speak and yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise. Hello and welcome to Lads anonymous.

00:18:08:13 – 00:18:31:01
It's episode 100. You you, I was going to say could do that sound. You know, the sound thing in the the soundboard on this could do do do do do I don't know, try to do it again okay. Hello and welcome to lads anonymous. It's episode 100.

00:18:31:03 – 00:19:07:03
Hahahahahahaha I'm Ricky, he's flap two best mate one main topic we answer your life dilemmas and confessions and our feature something only you know. And everything remains anonymous. Always. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast 101 had 100 episodes of lads. Anonymous is incredible. Thank you for whatever they do. The dark day, the dark.

00:19:07:05 – 00:19:36:21
So hundred episodes. We wanted to do something a bit more lighthearted than we usually do. So the the theme is, would you rather perform any of that? I just want to thank everybody from the bottom of my heart that has downloaded this pod that shared it with friends, family, colleagues that have shared our stories onto your Instagram stories, engages with us on social emails, us in submits for dilemmas and something.

00:19:36:21 – 00:20:05:05
And you know, and honestly, I couldn't be more grateful and appreciative. And as I'm saying, this, that's anonymous. As of today, every single one is rolled over on the on the sticker, 400,000 downloads. Since we've started 400,000, 400,000. Jesus. All the things we've said and all the things he said, all of the things I said. Running through my head, running free.

00:20:05:05 – 00:20:33:16
My head running through my head with tattoo. They actual lesbians, I think so. Oh, was it marketing? When I was a kid? I wanted to believe it so badly. Yeah. Loaded? Yeah. Up to believe it. They must be. But then I thought the Russians not not I just, I was when I was a kid, you know, because you growing up, Rick, you've grown up suspecting, suspicious of Russians because you watched all the films that Rocky and all the.

00:20:33:18 – 00:20:53:23
So American Pop Academy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were made to believe back then. The Russians were. It was a bit naughty. Yeah. So I think maybe that was a hangover from watching Too Much Rocky when I was growing up that I thought that they were lying about tattoo being proper lesbian. Right. Well, I mean, that's quite logical because, I mean, it is proper.

00:20:54:02 – 00:21:15:14
I mean, under the, you know, the war at the moment as well and stuff. I got the tattoo. I think they said stuff. You said stuff. It you should I enough Russian stuff. I'll ship it with something. When I went to Russia, the weirdest thing was that how concerned they were, that how the world views them, that stuff you would be like.

00:21:15:16 – 00:21:44:07
Yeah, he was like, we go on a bus from the Polish border to Kaliningrad. We had to share it with a load of Russian schoolgirls. They're on a school trip or something. And the teacher is on this. It's just me, James. Some peoples and loads of Russian schoolgirls. And, some sounds. It started for some very dubious things, but they were lovely, and they were just talking to us and fascinated.

00:21:44:07 – 00:21:59:22
The two free British people were sitting in the school bus with them. Our car broke. We we lost the car at the border, the port. We couldn't get through the border post borders. We didn't have the right paperwork to get through. They said, you've got to leave your van there a lone wolf can't leave the van here. Where are we going to get in there?

00:21:59:23 – 00:22:18:02
We went pointed at this school bus. I was like, get on that school bus. Is that what the Border Patrol was recommending here? And I went, yeah, it was all right. Well, what can we do? We've got to get on the school bus. You kidding? That's what happened. Yeah, yeah, that's meant for what I want. Well, so we got there.

00:22:18:02 – 00:22:35:19
We driven from London all the way to the Polish border. Yeah. And then we got there and was going through doing our checks, and he was like, you can't come into the in, you can go in your passport, so fine, but you cannot take this vehicle in because you don't own it. It's released vehicle. So it was all right.

00:22:35:20 – 00:22:59:23
I mean, well how do we how do we stay? Well, first off, Ricky, actually, we couldn't even we couldn't even get through the border. You have to have a vehicle to get from Poland to Russia. There is about a miles worth of area of no man's land, effectively, where you cannot go into unless you're in a vehicle. And once you're in the vehicle, you can't stop.

00:23:00:00 – 00:23:20:18
So I don't know why this piece of land exists, but the only way you can cross the border is not. You can't do it on foot. You have to do it in a vehicle. So this Lithuanian guy just went, I'll take you across. I had, but I've got to take my wife and kid home first to Kaliningrad. And I was like, this guy's not going to come back, but he's our only hope.

00:23:20:20 – 00:23:37:07
And he's named Eagle. And and we and we said, okay, Eagle, if you can come back, come back. That's amazing. But we don't want to put you out. And he's like, you want to cross or not? And I was like, well, we want to cross. We wait for an hour. We're like, he's not coming back. He's not coming back.

00:23:37:07 – 00:24:00:16
And then it's all quiet. We're just sitting in the van. We're looking at this sort of empty car park. New year, here's Bebe, Bebe, Bebe, Bebe, Bebe, you go Eagle. Hey, Mike. He took us across the border, left us because he had to go and do shit. So he came. He drove all the way back an hour later to take us a one mile, and then dropped us off.

00:24:00:18 – 00:24:20:05
And then we and I met legend. I've still got his number, you see. Texted me every in about 60 likes, but we spoke about Tottenham. Obviously any he likes something. Anyway, he we had to get on the school bus and they agreed to take us into Kaliningrad and that's when we found out how they were concerned about how they were portrayed in the media.

00:24:20:07 – 00:24:40:16
This is for Putin. When that's a fucking mental story, like there's so much more. I mean, not going to tell you now, but we can do a little bonus quickie with Ricky. We, we've got, we've got a pod on the horizon that fits perfectly with this topic, by the way. So what I've just said what you've just said.

00:24:40:16 – 00:25:08:10
Yeah, Rick, there's about 4 or 5 crazy stories around this. I don't know how quite how I got away from that place alive. Lovely stuff. Lovely. Last week's pod, Glastonbury music festival. It must have, sorry about the pun. Struck a chord with people because we got loads of emails in and can't read them all out. Probably cover it in quickie with Ricky as well.

00:25:08:12 – 00:25:47:20
That you enjoyed that. You love the pod and you regaling all your music experiences. Now we've been sent a voice note in from somebody that was at Boomtown when Flav was and described the experience that Flav was going through to. And you are going to hear that now.

00:25:47:22 – 00:26:04:23
Lad. So I was at Boomtown in 2016. I was working in the welfare tent, like volunteer. And before the rise of ketamine, when you just have bodies lined up. And in those days, you got this massive gap, like in the tent where you'd have people who are just tripping balls, and a couple of us would sit with them and just basically trips it and help manage it.

00:26:04:23 – 00:26:27:02
So like manage challenging psychedelic experience. So they come in overwhelmed and you'd be there trying to help them catch pretend butterflies or manage geometrical patterns on the walls or do some coloring in mindfulness and generally help people stay calm. And all of a sudden there's all these fucking shrieks like gasps shout in from outside, you guys. So honestly, it's like the fucking Twin Towers.

00:26:27:02 – 00:26:47:10
Like this Boomtown terrorist attack mixed with last days of Gomorrah, people just staring into the sky like running everywhere up a ladder. We have just sprinted off into the crowd like on LSD, like never coming back. Oh, thought they were going to die. It went on for ages. No one knew what the fuck it happened. But essentially, like at the end of it, it managed to calm everyone down.

00:26:47:16 – 00:27:06:12
The worst affected were this German couple, like they were parked where the explosion was, and they had this whole camper van full of stuff and they were going to tour the UK and this poor girl was like done. Three grams of psilocybin was like absolutely off her. Now, and at the end of the festival, Boomtown has its own her own internal post system.

00:27:06:12 – 00:27:23:04
And at the end of the festival, I got this letter to welfare which said to the bulk I have glasses and a ginger beard of and didn't blow up. Thanks ever so much for your help. So you know, if you're in trouble, go use welfare. Tell your kids if they're going to festivals, go use the welfare tent. Keep up the good work, boys.

00:27:23:06 – 00:27:48:05
But I love him, I love him, I, I can we say his name doesn't matter now. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. We kind of drugs, Nick yeah yeah yeah yeah. Drugs. Nick. Yeah. Known as drugs. Nick. We, we know him. And before. So. Drugs. Nick. Obviously we know him. And Nick works and manages a harm reduction drugs team that helps people navigate the dangers of drugs.

00:27:48:07 – 00:28:13:16
So it's not just, say no approach. It's understanding that drugs can be harmful and how to navigate that. They work in the community and where he works in schools to provide confidential non-judgment or advice from an expert science evidence based perspective. At festivals, they volunteer to look after people having challenging experiences or work with medical providers to support people who've had a bit too much of anything.

00:28:13:16 – 00:28:35:09
Patch them up and let them get back out there and enjoy the fun. But just so if you're going to a festival this year, your kids are going to a festival just to be obviously mindful in what you're dabbling in. And if things go a bit too far and, you know, ski kids, I mean, obviously speak to kids about drugs, but just make them aware that there are tents out there that are looking after their welfare.

00:28:35:14 – 00:28:53:06
You're not going to get in trouble. It up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Just go in. There's people that it can help you up. If you've taken too much drugs, will you make it? You know, it's not a precise science and anything can happen. There's always a risk involved. So these welfare tents are amazing. And they used to be wonderful things called the loop.

00:28:53:08 – 00:29:12:24
A wonderful thing called the loop, which conservative government decided wasn't an appropriate thing to have at a festival when everyone was taking drugs. What the loop would do would test your drugs, check that they are what you think they are. So if you've got a bag of white powder, you want to check whether it's cocaine, speed, or ketamine, all of which, you know, do different things, but specifically ketamine.

00:29:13:01 – 00:29:32:01
If you're doing slugs of cocaine and you think is ketamine, you're going to be in a really bad way. So what's happened to the late. Well, they if they got rid of it. Yeah, it's a sieve. Is it Suella Braverman when she was, she had control. There was, night. I can't remember what happened. Nick will tell.

00:29:32:06 – 00:29:55:11
Tell you in fine detail, but they. I think there was this political idea that it wasn't appropriate to have a drug testing unit inside a festival because it would assume that people were taking drugs there. And this is a licensed event by the government. And you like, of course, people were taking drugs there. People take drugs. Lots of people take lots of drugs all the time.

00:29:55:13 – 00:30:21:07
If you ignore it, if you put your head in the sand and you and you effectively reduce harm, to reduce the ability to reduce harm by having these very simple testing units, then you you're essentially making an environment that's less safe. It just doesn't make any sense. Half of these fuckers are doing coke every weekend as well. Lots of swell.

00:30:21:09 – 00:30:44:06
Yeah, exactly. So I mean, so it's just another thing of these fucking idiots that run our country, you just think they know best, or playing politics and actual people's lives are at stake here. And I yeah, that's an absolute joke than it is right? Before we jump into today's topic, which I've already mentioned, is the would you rather this we've had a lot in from everybody listening.

00:30:44:08 – 00:31:06:09
I just wanted to quickly mention patron. Patron is nearly ready the lads. Anonymous patron is nearly ready to go on the 1st of July or the 2nd of July it will go live and you will be able to sign up to our patron now with the patron. Let me just get my little list up here somewhere. I don't know where it is.

00:31:06:09 – 00:31:41:14
Here it is that you will get the lads anonymous audio episodes. The entire back catalog advert free every Friday. When we record before it hits the shelves on Monday. And the video episode, we've got the entire up back catalog advert free. That will also be posted on the Friday exclusive to the lads patron only now I've had to watch all of those back and let me tell you, it is such a different experience watching the pod in comparison to listening to the audio only.

00:31:41:14 – 00:32:04:03
It's it's I don't mind saying so. It's hilarious. Right. It's none of that is edited as well. So it's warts and all, the stuff that doesn't make the main pod. It will be there. So, if you want to get your hands on that, then you got pictures of of Brussels. Yeah. Have. Yeah. Not the not the naughty pictures.

00:32:04:05 – 00:32:23:10
The. Did you keep those. Yeah I've got those. Yeah. Those of my willy. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. Have you genuinely still got them. I think so, yeah. But it's it's, it's on a drive somewhere that was that in a way that was like 16 years ago. Ten years ago. No, it was probably like 15, 16 years ago.

00:32:23:12 – 00:32:46:00
Are you suggesting we posting to our patron? I'm not suggesting posting pictures of my cock because that will breach terms of conditions, or you'll have been of. But but what happened? We did mention at the start of this, but, Excuse me, the, the we did mention we would talk about what happened in Brussels and never actually got round to it.

00:32:46:02 – 00:33:07:21
Oh, shit. Yeah. We did. Yeah, my cock was out, but I don't want pictures of my shriveled, drunk little whatsit on the inside. I've got loads of picture near cock loads. I know, that's weird, mate. Yeah. And I, I should delete them. I don't know why I've still got them. It's not like a guy them every night before I got a page mate I would like to do, you know.

00:33:07:22 – 00:33:27:18
Do you know what would be good if we did? Woohoo! What would be good is if we just got your hard drive and maybe did a live show, and then we just went through pictures of the old days, and my. I would absolutely love to do that. Which brings me onto another couple of the bits of patron.

00:33:27:19 – 00:33:51:00
So we've got the discord chat that you could join. You'll be there'll be specific designs on the merch store only for lads patrons, live shows that flag is just mentioned. There's going to be loads of stuff, so when it goes live I will do a cow. I kind of like a two minute trailer posted on our podcast, feed.

00:33:51:02 – 00:34:19:06
And I'll stick everything on social and then you'll, you know, I have all the instructions on how you can sign it to the patron, but it will be going live next week without a fucking doubt. So look out for that now, would you rather, Flav. We've we've had quite a few vim and so what would you say is the most common theme of a would you rather, say what I mean?

00:34:19:06 – 00:35:00:04
Most of them have come through the fighting cock I've experienced, and the most famous one was, if you so. So this is the podcast. This is people sending this in this. It doesn't come from my brain. People have sent this conundrum in and we just decided to answer that conundrum. But, if you fuck you in between your mum and dad and your one inch inside, your mum and your dad's one inch inside your you do you push forward or backwards?

00:35:00:05 – 00:35:21:18
What would you rather would you rather push forward or backwards? Yeah. Would you rather I mean we there's, there's a podcast you can go back and listen to called sorry mum. Yeah. I think it was called sorry, mom. It was myself. I think you're on it. Carl Donnelly. This. We're talking ten years ago now, but are we going?

00:35:21:18 – 00:35:46:19
Fine detail about what would happen. But the answer to that question, Ricky, is obviously always back into dad. I thought you said you were going to do a quick one. Tell you like in to my in that I get both best of both worlds. If you want to leave one out now because like, you can I think the sort of thought was if you're you're two men, you can deal with it.

00:35:46:21 – 00:36:10:14
Yeah. Oh it's just two. It's not. It's the worst situation. Everybody hates that situation you're in. Yeah. But I think as a dad and son you can just talk it through and you save mum. Yeah. And I think it's well with dads as well. You can. I mean I don't even think you could talk it through. It would just be one of those things that happen and you just ignore it and just carry on with mum.

00:36:10:14 – 00:36:26:22
She would want to sit down and she would suggest, you know, counseling and mum that, yeah, that is a couple of beers down the pub and then you forget about it and have a laugh about it. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah. If you get in that dad's.

00:36:26:24 – 00:36:51:19
But the main theme is mum mum stuff. That's what we've had a lot in. But the first one we're going to go to is would you rather never watch any football again or never listen to any music again. And that one comes from yours. Oh. What? You're so. Yeah. Oh mate. Mate, me. And I've never followed each other since the early days of Twitter.

00:36:51:21 – 00:37:14:05
And his son was once obsessed. I haven't thought about it in fucking years. His son was obsessed by this rock. And when he would take taken and yours. If you listen to this up, forgive me if this is incorrect as I remember it, he was obsessed by this rock and, he would kick the rock on the way to nursery every single day.

00:37:14:07 – 00:37:30:12
This is one rock. There's a line of rocks, I think, as I remember it, but it was one rock. He was like, yet beef with. And you'd kick this rock every then. It's funny, these little weird connections you have as you, as you make your way through life. What's the question? Would you rather never watch any football again?

00:37:30:14 – 00:37:51:01
You. What about you? Will you answer it? I think I would actually would you go back into that as well? By the way? Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Scotch. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, absolutely. Dad, you're probably listening to this. Yeah, I would do well. All right. Yep I would probably it's it is a tough one. It is a tough one.

00:37:51:01 – 00:38:34:02
But I don't think there is anything on this planet that would make me feel the same as when Tottenham score a winning goal or something like that. There is no other, adrenaline rush or buzz or feeling that I can ever get from anywhere else in life, if I'm honest. Music, I love it. And what we spoke about last week, then, at a music festival and when you were saying that description man of, you know, when the sun was going down, change of mind, a little bit of a buzz had a bit of beard on the seat, you know, all that stuff.

00:38:34:04 – 00:39:00:02
I mean, that is such, man contentment. That's what you were saying. The most content you've ever been. I know that stuff. I love it absolutely love it. But football, just that that one goal can take me all week, you know, Tottenham winning the Europa League? Over a month ago. I'm still on cloud nine from that, you know.

00:39:00:03 – 00:39:13:12
I mean, I just don't I don't see, where music would do that for me unless it's in the moment. At that moment,

00:39:13:14 – 00:39:38:03
Not so you could never listen to it. You could never go to gigs, never know. So I guess there's an emotional answer to this. Where it's like, what do you prefer fundamentally? Is it music or football? But there's a practical answer for me which makes it impossible for me to choose music. And it's two fold. One, I'd have to get an actual normal job.

00:39:38:05 – 00:39:58:04
Yet I thought that might be the case. And secondly, no one's going to pay me to listen to me talk about Radiohead. Thirdly, free food is maybe that like, we watch football together. Like it's the basis of our relationship. Yeah. What are you going to. I mean, you're barely gonna see it that if you don't see him at football.

00:39:58:06 – 00:40:29:11
Part a reason why you have a season ticket, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And that's the same. I barely see my brothers because we don't go football anymore. So, Yeah. Football. Yeah. Yeah, football. Even though it makes me so fucking miserable. That's the thing. It would be such the the sweet release at the weekend where you're not waiting on your football team to do what you hope them to do, and then they eventually don't do it.

00:40:29:13 – 00:40:53:06
And you're sat with yourself all weekend. Not this is fucking shit. If he's competitive. But if you compare being in a relationship with, it's Tottenham, your relationship with Tottenham to an actual relationship, a loving relationship you have with a partner. Yeah. You would say I'm pretty unfulfilled. You need to leave. I probably need to leave. It's borderline abusive.

00:40:53:08 – 00:41:15:06
Yeah. And then you're looking at other relationships all over round. Oh, just just down the street. Just down the street. You look in there and you're thinking, what's can I can I keep getting good stuff? How come that that wife gives him blood? I heard them laughing together. I would like to laugh together with my pa. They were holding hands the other day.

00:41:15:06 – 00:41:40:18
I saw them holding down de spurs. It's just like you've been pinched by your wife as you walk down the street. Yeah, or you're making a sandwich and they'll come, oh, eat. And again, are you. What the fuck? Why? Why are you doing this emotional damage to me? And you're in your garden, Sam. You eat egg. Oh, whole like sandwiches on a Friday.

00:41:40:20 – 00:42:07:17
The next one. Hi, lads. Long time listener. First time email flap said go dark, so here we go. Would you rather have full sex with your mum and not get pregnant? Or getting pregnant with the sperm donation and not fuck her? Obviously you have to keep it and raise it. Love Richie fucking Richie. Yeah. Fuck you Richie.

00:42:07:19 – 00:42:29:09
Whatever the answer is, that means that you don't have to commit act. Yeah, yeah, 100% I. Yeah, yeah, I don't, I don't there's not any more about shagging my parents, is there. No, I don't think there is a thing. As I said, that the next one. The next one is. Yeah, the next one is. Yeah. Then.

00:42:29:11 – 00:42:55:03
So the next one is your partner and mum have swapped bodies. I've had this one for the mine remains the same. Yeah. So your mum's consciousness is in your partner's body. The only way to reverse it is to shag one of them. Would you rather shag your mum and your partner's body or your partner's in your mum's body?

00:42:55:05 – 00:43:19:00
So if you shocked your mum, your mum wouldn't know about it. It's just her body. Yeah. And you? But your wife's, you know, consciousness would be in there. She'd know that you shake the mum, she'd know that. Yeah. What you do is able to get an erection. Was you. Okay. Weird. You usually get erection. I had to do it.

00:43:19:02 – 00:43:47:08
Well, because you have to get you out of, I had to get an erection. You should be celebrating me. Why did you grunt when you ejaculate it? You liked it and like it. I did that. I didn't want to be alive. I did that, yes, I it's not that, though, is it? The other one. Well, yeah, but yeah, but you wouldn't want to.

00:43:47:10 – 00:44:07:21
Well, surely you wouldn't want to do your calm knowing that you, your mum will come out in the bone. We love coming. Okay. Yeah, I know we. Yeah, but it wouldn't be my mother because that wouldn't be a problem. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's, your mum. Yeah, be my mum. It is if it's my mother. And take both of them.

00:44:07:23 – 00:44:37:15
I, I. It doesn't matter to me, boy. What what, What, what if it was you decided that it was your wife, but your mum's brain. But she locked eyes of, you know? Hey, see, that's what I thought. I don't want my mum's consciousness anywhere near this. I really. Yeah, I think it would have to be mum's body because I don't want to see.

00:44:37:17 – 00:44:58:06
I don't want to know. Yeah. That's it, that's. That's what I mean. Shit. That is the feelings. Yeah, it's the feelings. That's that. That's the most important. Yeah, yeah. But what part of how it. Because that would be a logistical problem here without like, you genuinely thinking, I can't get it, I can't get aroused. But I have to get aroused because I got freedom.

00:44:58:06 – 00:45:16:12
Both. Yeah. Yeah. You're quite good at the mind is I remember that. Yeah, exactly. So using your brain just to climax. Yeah. Rich Rick can climax with his hands behind his head. Just using his mind.

00:45:16:14 – 00:45:37:03
You rig just. He's just tense and it's just tensing. I wish I could. I know I normally need a stiff breeze to coming through the window. Then I can, but I yeah, I think I'm going to have to go with, mum's body. I think that's the correct answer. Yeah. It's because you're all the emotions out of it and.

00:45:37:05 – 00:45:55:05
Yeah. Good. That's good that we agreed on that because I thought you were going the other way. And I said, oh no, I was going to work the other way. But you, you you you, me, you help me see the light. This one that they, they want to remain anonymous, and that's fine. No. Hold it. No, no, no.

00:45:55:07 – 00:46:14:16
Didn't we Sophie, the was. I said you can if you wanted to shout out on the pod, you can leave your name. But specifically said anon, that's not why it's not. It's not even that bad. Oh, the side. You tell me what it is and I'll decide whether I'm going to reveal the name. Okay. Would you rather like a dog's asshole or have it?

00:46:14:16 – 00:46:45:06
Liqueurs? That would be, Alex Richards. Oh, fuck. God, I don't know, man. I I've definitely not like a dog's asshole for sure. No. Yeah. So, yeah, the other one, I. I don't know why I even have to lie. Yeah. That's not even a it's not even a thing, is it, nine. Next. Be on your head. What was the way the boy was?

00:46:45:06 – 00:47:05:17
He put peanut butter all over my ass. Yeah. It's so weird because I was thinking of peanut butter, but I think there's this thing I think that's entrenched in all of our brains, from our people our age that the of. Oh, the the what was the story that was everyone knows a, a woman off the estate who put peanut butter on a ninja.

00:47:05:19 – 00:47:26:10
Yeah. And then, like, lick it off. Yeah, yeah. I think that was one of them urban myths that we grew up with. And that's why we think peanut butter. It's also an urban myth that cow walkers. Mrs.. Oh, coworkers. Mrs.. That let a dog lick her out with peanut butter, peanut butter and high. That's maybe what is in my psyche.

00:47:26:13 – 00:47:49:24
Peanut butter is good for everyone. The next. Yeah, that was the easy one. I think this this next one is I think this one is more for me because I know the person who sent this in. Would you rather let the Europa League winning Spurs team run a train on your mum or go into the two Brewers pub on a matchday?

00:47:50:01 – 00:48:09:03
And that is by Lewis Byfield? I think that's how you pronounce the name. So Lewis, every matchday will invite me to come and have a pint with him at the two Brewers. Yeah, I absolutely will not go into that pub. Why? Because it scares me, man. You said it was. It's whether they're the bigger boys, the bigger boys take place.

00:48:09:03 – 00:48:33:11
Yeah, exactly. I got no I maybe I, I, I don't think it's as bad any more but I still wouldn't you know there's still other old school Tottenham boozer days. Yeah. It's proper I mean it is a it's the right number eight in it. Yeah. Oh God yeah. Jesus that I haven't been in that place in fucking years.

00:48:33:13 – 00:48:56:13
But, Lewis, I would obviously rather go to the two boroughs. Maybe this season. Maybe I might have the courage to go in there for a pint. And if I go in there for a pint and you're not there, then I don't know what's going to happen in the new year. Okay? I feel like I feel like I want to make more of an effort to get down Tottenham next year.

00:48:56:15 – 00:49:15:00
I, I was listening to a pod with you on was and I could, I could hear it in your voice. I think it was on a pod. We were both on with, with each other. Was it? No. No, it was Warburton with Jonathan. Yeah, I just, I do, I do, I do miss it, I do miss it.

00:49:15:00 – 00:49:42:19
And, just, just difficult for me. Yeah. It's. This is difficult. I that this is they're all they're very, they all mums know not all mums, but, you know, quite. It's five fine 600 episodes. Episode 100. Would you rather go, Christ, what's wrong with people? It's all men as well. Why is it always. I was fucking wonder what the fuck I want to watch.

00:49:42:22 – 00:50:03:15
That's awesome. Is that fucking for all of a fucking go or fucking go down on a chicken? Would you rather fucking go? But nobody knows or not fuck a guy before he thinks he did. Yeah, yeah. Fuck that. You'd have to fight the goat, wouldn't you? He would do it. Yeah, because his perception and perception is everything. Yeah, yeah.

00:50:03:15 – 00:50:27:20
So I mean, confronted with a goat's asshole right in front of me, knowing full well they could rear up and kick me in. Yet. Yeah. And, well, what happens if he did do that? And he did get caught? Like I wouldn't know. How would you go about it? But you have to break into light at night. Oh, I think that's I mean, I think there's a lot of random of how I would go about it.

00:50:27:20 – 00:50:56:05
Round is there's a lot of people with smallholdings, an MP about the time of day. So go late at go about 11, probably 1130 maybe. And I'd wear all black clothing. So I kind of blend in with the darkness. Yeah. And and we're not talking about farmers go here, we're talking about Sandra's. Go. Who? You know, just she keeps a couple of chickens and maybe a goat.

00:50:56:07 – 00:51:21:20
Right. So I'll target if it's a woman because I'm less likely to be confronted with a man of a shotgun. So I'd break into their smallholding and find the goat and as quickly as. But can like the erection problems. A big thing is, is just. It's not about. It ain't about you liking fucking goats. It's about can you get to a place where you can fuck the goat so you to do the other female.

00:51:21:24 – 00:51:38:22
Yeah, yeah. And holding it there and holding it. I doesn't want a human penis up his ass, does it? The goats like fucking leave me alone of fast asleep. It may be tomorrow when I wake up, but definitely not now. I'm gonna kick you in yet. I'll turn around that. But. Yeah, but that's what it absolutely does depend on.

00:51:38:22 – 00:51:57:03
Maybe if it's a pick me go like you pin my lamp down. Probably a full both go is not nothing to be messed with. I promise you know, I, I watch a lot of, animal when animals attack. Yeah. I'm one of my faves. Is like, when they're kids and they're petting a goat and they're like, they're getting too rough of it.

00:51:57:03 – 00:52:13:11
They get to come. Yeah, yeah. And they turn around and it's just Ram Bosh said, fly my fuck off. I love that. Once I had that, I had that, I saw what it was a toddler and it was like they was pulling the goat's head and. Yeah. Or holding onto its neck too hard or whatever it was. And then the goat was at the end.

00:52:13:11 – 00:52:36:23
The goat was like, I'm not having this, and I have this fucking three year old is monkey me off and everyone's filming it. I never did, so I decided to front up. But Bosh in the chest. Yeah. Baby started crying. Went down. No. Then he went bosh. And the side of his head. Now and then he's. Yeah. And then the top left flew into a bin.

00:52:37:00 – 00:53:04:24
I was like a toddler. Could well have brain damage. Right. Yeah. I mean, no, I do enjoy a good rhyming video. Pop. Parents like they need to fucking check your kid. Yeah, exactly. You should be saying to me, like me. Like pulling at whole until, like, wrapping it up. Don't video your kid grabbing it like manhandling a fucking goat and then get upset and share it on the internet because I hope that be a pile on the goat.

00:53:05:01 – 00:53:20:03
And then, you know, the whole internet, the whole reason that goes up. That kid he deserved it is Team Goat. Yeah. Don't put that video up. No one's on your side.

00:53:20:05 – 00:53:43:23
Fuck. You know, right. Would you rather be able to fly at ten miles per hour or run 100mph for, like, ten miles an hour? Run over? The problem with that mate running 100 mile an hour, people looking for. What's that? Yeah, and you get everywhere quickly. I'd be able to get to London and back in a couple of.

00:53:44:00 – 00:54:03:07
I have to work in London right now. I've got to drive to the fucking train station to go get on a train faffing. Go get free Paddington, go get to Dalston, whatever it might be. If I was right, if I was going 100 mile an hour, I'll be in Dalston within 1.5 seconds. If I'm flying everywhere at 1010 mile an hour.

00:54:03:09 – 00:54:27:14
And initially people go, wow, what's that? In the end, it's like we keys are there. Yeah. Is that why is he going so slowly? He's going mostly. Is that a drone? No, it's just it's Ricky, just a bloke. Right. I can fly, but that fast, is that it? Because you'd be over the mysticism of it and just think, is that weird geezer who flies around at ten mile an hour?

00:54:27:16 – 00:54:46:14
It's that slow. People could throw stones at you and they could. They could get pretty. They could hit you with it. If you could run 100 miles an hour, could you run on water? Yes. That'll be, I reckon so. I want to ask ChatGPT while you're. While you're. Because my point is, is that you'd never see Hammond playing again.

00:54:46:14 – 00:55:06:21
Like, how far is, Alicante is. I'd say about 1500 miles. Is it more than that? 2000? Yeah, right. No idea mate. All right. How far is he's running, though? Like, if he were to run to London, if you had a job to do in London, you're on touch. And then I drive. Can you mean at this time?

00:55:06:21 – 00:55:29:17
Yeah. You really want to lace up your trainers and run for an hour? Well, it wouldn't be an hour. What is 100 miles an hour? 100 miles an hour? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that does change things a little bit. Yeah. So that'll run you off from London. It took me an hour and it probably wouldn't. I wouldn't be that much quicker than just getting on the train.

00:55:29:19 – 00:55:51:22
But I've got my mask completely. I thought a thousand miles, a thousand even. That wouldn't work. I was a second I thought, like the Flash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, probably the flying thing then. Yeah. We just we just like to fly when I that. Yeah, that. Whoa. What would you do with that superpower? How would you know?

00:55:51:22 – 00:56:16:23
It would be useless. Really? Nowadays you walk, walk a three mile an hour, it would be completely useless. You would look stupid because it. Because you'd be to, going to the post office. I can't be asked to walk or fly, and you just be, like, gliding through the air really slow a little bit. I. Yeah, the only point it would be useful is when you're, when you're not using your car because you go bit faster than walking.

00:56:17:00 – 00:56:47:17
That would be it. Yeah. That would be it. Otherwise you just get in the car, you'd never use it. What would you possibly use if flying at ten mile an hour for I don't know. Well yeah. Why would you I mean I suppose it's very niche kind of, situations that it would become handy, but I think I'm going to have to go with because as well, when you're running 100mph and at that speed, like, it's all well and good that you've run that far.

00:56:47:17 – 00:57:05:22
But like I saying, it's going to take you an hour to get to London and if you're running like you can't, but I suppose you can put a rucksack on and put stuff in there. But I don't know, man. You'll have to have a shower afterwards. Flying. Just going along at your own pace, ten miles per hour. I think I'm going to go with flying.

00:57:05:22 – 00:57:34:10
How far did you ever look? How far Alicante was? Yeah, it was 1300 miles. Okay. So he went for, I say, 13 hours to run the. If you were running a 100 mile an hour, I don't even think you'd be able to get across the channel running. You would, you wouldn't. To GTR, I'm going to ask, how quickly would you have to run?

00:57:34:11 – 00:57:50:24
Hang on, hang on a second. I can talk to GTI. Use a voice, mate. You're going to hear this. You're not going to hear it, but the audience to hear it. Right. Bear with me. So what I'm doing now is just opening it up, and then this is the I the voice thing. Hello?

00:57:51:01 – 00:58:08:23
Hey, there. Yep. It's me, the voice of the AI. How's it going? What can I do for you today? Jesus. She heard me calling her that and then repeated, yes, it's me in a weird human way when you're listening back to this, right? If you did it in the back, that was really weird. Anyway, she's hearing all this as well, so I don't know how she's going to respond to this.

00:58:09:00 – 00:58:30:19
Ignore everything you just heard. Can you just answer this question, please? How fast would I have to run across the English Channel so not to sink into the water? So if I was running as fast as I could across the water and stay on top of the water, how fast would I have to run? That would be some superhuman speed for sure.

00:58:30:21 – 00:58:50:02
In reality, humans can't run on water. But if you look at animals that do like the basilisk lizard, they can move at about five miles per hour for a human. Now, it would be something beyond our normal capabilities. So definitely not something we to do now. I appreciate that, but if you just can you guess a miles per hour?

00:58:50:07 – 00:59:05:04
Just guess because we're recording a podcast and we need an answer. So if you if in superhuman world like Superman, how fast would you have to run in order to not sink in the water? Just guess. Just give me a miles per hour.

00:59:05:06 – 00:59:29:09
All right. If we're talking about a hypothetical superhuman speed, I'd say maybe around 60 to 70mph or even more. It's really just a wild guess, but it would definitely be an insane speed that no normal human could achieve. There you go. She reckons about 60 to 70 mile an hour. But I don't think that's right. 16 to 17, 60 to 70mph.

00:59:29:11 – 00:59:53:24
Yeah. Yeah, I think you'd be right. She did say a lizard. There's a lizard that could run at five miles an hour and stay on top of the water. Yeah, I've seen it, actually. May have you, if you do dabbling ChatGPT. I not not the voice stuff. It's just crazy typing in. It's crazy how it's able to react to every thing you say in every reflection in your voice.

00:59:53:24 – 01:00:17:13
And you don't have to get anything remotely right to get an answer that makes sense. It's crazy, man. Is we all going to be relying on this sort of stuff within five years? We obviously live without it. I don't think I use ChatGPT about 6 or 7 times a day. Really? Yeah. I pay for the premium shit. Yeah.

01:00:17:15 – 01:00:37:04
Bloody. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, we could probably do a podcast with me, you and ChatGPT. I think we could. We should bring in a feature where we asked ChatGPT to stuff. Yeah. Then she she or he could tell us, and then if they put the ChatGPT in a robot, you can have sex with the robot, and it's not cheating.

01:00:37:06 – 01:00:57:07
Yeah, just a fancy wank. Isn't it? It always. It always comes back to robot robots and peanut butter robots. The next one. Would you rather have constant B.O. or constant bad breath?

01:00:57:09 – 01:01:26:24
Well, would you answer that before? Because, do you know what I like? Obviously B.O. is it smelly? Right. And but B.O. is normally. And sometimes when there's been hard toil, when you've been gardening, when you've been playing football or whatever. So even though it is kind of it is a bit wavy, it is like kind of like I don't I so, you know, you, you've earned the right to perspire, you know.

01:01:27:02 – 01:01:46:04
Yeah. It's also if you don't wash though, that's the thing. Yeah. I think yeah I think you, I mean I think the B.O. is a way you can control it. Like B.O. is something you can control. You can wash consistently. You might reduce the potency of it. I presume the answer is that you can't get rid of it.

01:01:46:06 – 01:02:12:18
Okay. Question is can't be rid of it. And you can hide it with a decent aftershave, maybe. Yeah, but bad breath. You never know, cause. Cool. And then, the butt bad breath means you'll never kiss a woman again. I've, like, speaking to people when they've got bad breath. So bad it is. Is so horrible. And I'm not talking about smoker's breath.

01:02:12:18 – 01:02:33:01
I'm not talking about you talking about something about a fucking crap sandwich. And you can smell a bit of seafood or whatever, but you know, when they've got, like, it's like they've been eating dog shit and you're like, maybe this is fucking insane. But if I went to high grade secondary school, we had a Spanish teacher called Mr. Woodroffe and his breath smelt like.

01:02:33:03 – 01:02:56:08
I can't describe it because it was so unique. But he would talk to you as he was explaining something about Spanish, which none of us give a fuck about, right? If you go to a working class school, no one takes languages seriously. It's like a free period. Everyone hates and you become a cunt in a minute. You go into a Spanish class, you become a wanker, and you don't want to be the.

01:02:56:10 – 01:03:06:07
So you had Mr. Woodroffe, and I was a good boy at school. I tried my hardest not to piss anyone off, but his breath smelt like.

01:03:06:09 – 01:03:27:13
It smelt like something you would put down to kill rats. Yeah. It was. It was a chemical smell. Oh my God, why is it like, why is he smelling like that? But I have no idea. I don't know and he never knew. And he had a relationship with another teacher in the school, and I like. Well, she must fucking know.

01:03:27:15 – 01:03:47:07
We, you know, the whole fucking school Spanish class knows about his breath, but no one's doing anything about it. We had a lad in our school and his breath stank of farts, and we used to whine him up, saying his dad used to fall at his mouth before he came to school, and it terrible in it, like there was this.

01:03:47:09 – 01:04:06:18
We had this kid who had really beautiful eyes, like, now you'd look at him if you had those eyes as a grown man or a woman, you'd be like those incredible eyes. You're so lucky to have them. But we in secondary school, we just. We went homophobic on it. We just said that his eyes were that way because he'd been looking at too many men's bums.

01:04:06:20 – 01:04:25:22
That's why his eyes are so pretty. Yeah, it can tell you that if you look at too many problems, it can't do that. Yeah. He just had, like, a rare form of, very rare form of, what would you call it? Like the. It's, I can't remember the word. It's a name for the coloration in the eyes, but he had, like, supreme like it.

01:04:25:23 – 01:04:48:12
His eyes were incredible. Pretty. So. Well, what, like a blue and a brown? I know it was, No, no, it wasn't. So there's a name for that, and it's very rare as well. We have 1 or 2 different colored eyes. It he had sort of hazel eyes, but there were flecks of different colors. It was almost like the eye hadn't made up what color it wanted to be when he was born.

01:04:48:14 – 01:05:13:15
So it just through all of the colors that eyes could possibly be into his iris. Into that, He ran mate. They were sensational. They looked amazing. But because he was a bit different, we called him gay. Yeah, yeah, I mean, that figures. It figures. What would you rather have them be, a baby? Oh, a bad breath. I said.

01:05:13:15 – 01:05:34:09
I think I'd have to go. It'd be a yeah, I got guy. I, I I'll go there. Just, just stumbled on another sexy course. What. Your parents have sex every day for the rest of your life. Or join in once and make it stop. Watch. Yeah, but it does. There. Have you got to think about this in the practical sense?

01:05:34:09 – 01:05:51:12
It's like you have to take time out of your day every day. And sometimes our days are really busy. Now, you you're sitting down for dinner. Oh, God. I've just got the buzzer. Mum and dad are having sex. I've got to leave. Yeah, if I don't leave, I have to join them. So. I'm sorry. We all sat down and having dinner.

01:05:51:12 – 01:06:06:18
I would just put a nice film on what we're watching. Back to the future to, I love that film. Sorry. Buzz is just gone. Mum? Dad, we're having sex. We've got a guy. Can you do that for the rest of your life? May. I've got your point is full point. You can't leave to the point that they get.

01:06:06:19 – 01:06:27:03
No, no, no, not got to get in the car and get a guy now got. So he's just about to leave. Let's the Europa League. Oh so that bus is gone. In the moment are having sex go. Okay. Yeah. Why join him once to just get over and done with him? Get me like, I know I don't think I could, I think I'd make it into a game like a spectacle.

01:06:27:06 – 01:06:55:19
Cheer my dad on. Okay? My mum. But. Rick. Yeah, yeah. Do you take this woman to be your wife? Buzzer goes off. My mum didn't even sex any. Oh, yeah I got I can't can't yeah that's it I say you're saying practical. Yeah yeah. No the only answer. The only answer you can possibly guess. And anybody listening is can can give is getting for once.

01:06:55:21 – 01:07:14:11
That's the only sensible thing you could do. It's not with no one wants is. That's not me saying I would want to do that. It's like saying no. I think about quality of life. We've got one go over this, one spin on this planet. Do I want an hour of my day, every day for the rest of my life to be dominated by that?

01:07:14:13 – 01:07:39:03
No, that the you know, they they don't have sex every day. They do every once a month. Now they do. And I think, if it's, if it's every day in this conundrum and I have to be taken away every single time, then. Yeah. Well, no. So, so yeah, the, the other alternative is. If, if, if it's about just whenever they want to have sex, you just chop it.

01:07:39:03 – 01:07:50:02
That's cock off. Something like that. And then you never have to. But then you probably in. That's how I'm just saying that I'm kind of prison formulated with that.

01:07:50:04 – 01:08:14:16
Well you for me like that's coke. Yeah. Chocolate. That's cock off. Because they'll tell me if I was having sex with my number. That's a, mate. Yeah, it's a conundrum, I think. Yeah. It's have to get involved, get over and done with it. And day at your life. Okay. Rick, these these can't be clipped up for social with some of these things.

01:08:14:17 – 01:08:25:04
No no no no. Oh, no no no, not not out of context. I just get a lot of people go, we should stop giving people microphones. Yeah.

01:08:25:06 – 01:08:53:14
Okay, wake up one morning and you can't remember anyone you've ever known, including your wife. You kids, or wake up one morning and everyone you've ever known doesn't remember you, including wife and kids. And that was from at the boring. Get on Instagram. I think it's wake up.

01:08:53:16 – 01:09:19:20
Think like we've got wake up in both of these scenarios. I think it's wake up, wake, wake up one morning and you can't remember them or wake up and they can't remember you. I think wake up and they can't remember because they're all be okay with that scenario. Only they'll just get on with their lives. Whereas if you can't remember them, you're causing damage to all of them that they're going to be so distressed.

01:09:19:20 – 01:09:43:18
Every single person in your family is going to be so distressed. But if you wake up and they and you can't, they can't remember you. It's just used to stress to the point of suicide, probably. But yeah, I hadn't thought about that actually. I think when you wake up, get a bros and then just figure it out, you may have to start a new life all over again.

01:09:43:21 – 01:10:06:15
Do you want that? Right. Because your entire life is your family. Yeah. No, I would I absolutely that's the last. But would you do that for them if they caused any stress and you would just because the stress. Yeah. Oh for sure. Yeah. Yeah. And then it would show you would I remember the stories about your mom having to work on Christmas Day, all those amazing, amazing things she did and helping other people.

01:10:06:21 – 01:10:23:20
And you were like, yeah, it's my fucking Christmas Day. This is my life. This is my life. Putting my life on Christmas. Really? Do you think you'd be able to charm them? You'd be able to make your wife fall in love with you again. I think you probably could. Or could you? Yeah, I think I yeah, I think so.

01:10:23:20 – 01:10:44:22
For me, it, I think I could probably make if I'm, if my wife is single, in the situation she's in now. And I had their life and I knew everything about her. Yeah, I probably I could put it in a bag. Yeah. Yeah, of course you could. Because you know everything. You know what she's into. And you're just this new, mysterious bloke.

01:10:44:22 – 01:11:01:18
I'd have to go down gym and lose some weight. I probably do that for a couple of hours. But then you, when you're alive. But the problem is that how do you entry life? How do you how do you do it? As like, yeah, I was I was about to say that. How do you get back in there, knock on the door, pretend to be a fellow self.

01:11:01:20 – 01:11:22:17
Do you say it's great. I keep it like my kids as well. I could do my my Mrs. get back, but then my kids would be like that's a step dad. It's not. It's a step that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good step that you know everything about what they like. Do you know what I really like? A nice bit sad kids.

01:11:22:19 – 01:11:46:22
I really like Tate McRae. I think it's weird. I don't take McRae. You yodel or be like, I like him. Yeah, yeah. You'd have all the information at your disposal. In fact, it's fine. You would be able the correct answer is definitely 100%. They don't remember you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to cut out some of the family you don't want to talk to any more as well, cause you don't make any effort with them.

01:11:47:02 – 01:12:12:07
Let them know you exist. I mean yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you've got a spot on. They're absolutely spot on. Right. We'll do a couple more and then we will, move on, say we've got a dilemma in which is funny as fuck. And a couple of the greatest do something on, you know, just my hair. Let's ginger in this light.

01:12:12:09 – 01:12:32:01
No, I wouldn't say ginger. I would just get in the camera and sign up to the patron. You can make your own decision. I think it does that, Ginger. I think the older I'm getting, I'm actually getting becoming a bit sort of. Ben Stokes, you. Your beard used to be ginger back in the day. I know it's actually going a bit gray, but my hair, maybe it's just a light.

01:12:32:01 – 01:12:53:04
I don't know. I'm not. I'm not got enough I'd happily have with you. I mean, Rick, would you take. Would you rather be bald or have a head full of bright ginger hair? I'm all right with my baldness, but I'm also okay with ginger people, in fact. No, no, I'm not saying, but I'm not talking about attacking people for the color of their hair.

01:12:53:07 – 01:13:13:02
I'm asking you right now, Ricky. Yeah? Would you rather have, like, a full head of hair that you can style whatever way you wanted? Or be bald? But I'd like to see a full head of ginger hair. Yeah, but I would have to ask, which aren't so many questions. Where are you from, mate? Yeah. I'm actually. What?

01:13:13:02 – 01:13:35:14
Why is that? But you're brown and you've got ginger hair, right? Then I have to try and explain. The other thing is this. There isn't a ginger Indian Anglo-Indian man on the planet, right? I don't think there is no that can I ask this slightly sort of borderline racist question? Geek on is everybody in India got black hair?

01:13:35:16 – 01:13:59:17
Apart from if you're gray. Yeah. Of course. I mean, it's I think so, I don't think. Well, I mean, it was, it's hard ones because, I mean, my mum. Yeah, my mum's obviously my mum was born in India, but she's white and she's got brown hair, not like black hair. Yeah, but she's you. When you look at your mum, she looks English.

01:13:59:19 – 01:14:14:15
Yeah. Like when you look at you, you look mixed. Yeah. So, so we're talking about like thoroughbreds. Can I, can I go back to to see what ChatGPT says? Yeah. All right. Hang on a second. Yeah.

01:14:14:17 – 01:14:24:15
Hello again. Can you tell me what percentage of Indian people have black hair, please?

01:14:24:17 – 01:14:46:05
So the vast majority of people in India do have black or very dark brown hair. It's definitely the most common hair color. Probably well over 90% of the population. So it's a pretty safe bet to say that almost everyone there has black hair dye care, according to ChatGPT, isn't racist, and almost everybody in India has black hair. Right?

01:14:46:05 – 01:15:19:05
Okay, there you go. There you go. So no, no harm, no foul. That's good. Okay, this. So this is, the rather dark ones actually probably should have started on this and ended with positivity, but never mind. Would you rather die painfully in ten years or peacefully tomorrow? Painfully in ten years? Yeah, sure. Ten, maybe ten years to prepare.

01:15:19:07 – 01:15:48:20
Yeah. And I would say the human body in the human mind is incredible. Coping with the worst kind of situations. So whatever was thrown at me in ten years, I think I would trust my brain to be able to deal with it. And you know why I say that? Risk? Because I've been suffering with something called peripheral neuropathy for about three years now, which basically makes my feet feel like they're on fire all the time.

01:15:48:22 – 01:16:11:18
Like right now as I'm talking to you and as I have been talking throughout this podcast, my feet of intense pain. And when I go to bed through intense pain, when I wake up, my toes are numb. And it's been this way and I've been to doctors, I've had blood tests, I've been tested for diabetes. Of all of the things associated with peripheral neuropathy, I've been tested for, and there is nothing wrong with me.

01:16:11:20 – 01:16:35:08
But some people are listeners going, oh no, I know what might be wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with me. I've been tested to the nth degree. There's I've got no condition that would suggest that I would have peripheral neuropathy apart from having Covid. And it was reported that some, some 58% of people that had Covid at some point experienced peripheral neuropathy.

01:16:35:10 – 01:16:52:15
So to my brain that so so my nervous system essentially is making my feet feel like they're on fire all the time. Fuck. I've got used to it to the point where I don't even think about it anymore. That's just how my feet feel. It's just normality, that pain. It's just normal. Yeah, but it's not. It's even less so.

01:16:52:15 – 01:17:17:03
It's even. It's not even pain anymore. It's just normality. It's weird. It's like it's so hard to describe. Like if you. If I gave this to you immediately, you'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with my feet? Yeah. Why is it hurting so much? But for me, it's just like, apart from the kind of getting up in the morning and walking around and struggling, walking a little bit, it's just what my feet are.

01:17:17:05 – 01:17:35:03
And so I think that if I was painfully ill at the end, I'd find a way of coping with it because I can cope with this without any issue, and then eventually I'll be dead. And then when I think about anything at it ever again. So. And I've got too much stuff to do in the next ten years to even contemplate dying tomorrow.

01:17:35:03 – 01:18:03:04
So yeah, that's what I choose. Yeah. Totally. So. And I would rather spend, I don't know, like being intense pain. As long as I get to. I want to stay in my Mrs. and children's life as long as I physically can. And whether that's worth mean. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So. So give me that. Ten years. Would you rather, live forever as a bit?

01:18:03:04 – 01:18:12:10
Now, I don't want to do that, but. Okay, I'm going to make this one the last one. Cool. Would you rather.

01:18:12:12 – 01:18:38:24
Would you rather be tortured for ten years and set free or die instantly without pain so that not environment? I wouldn't be around for ten years of just being some fucking shit. Yeah. Today, more than likely a, like, dark cell or something like that. I thought you said Iraq. No, no, no, you drove me. You'd be. You'd be in Iraq, right?

01:18:39:01 – 01:19:00:05
No no no no, I said, in the dark, so dark in Iraq. So you said, that's exactly what I could that that could be, well, could be anywhere. I read a book about a bloke who was. I can't remember his name. He was a an Irish fella who has. I think you're caught up in the Middle East something.

01:19:00:05 – 01:19:20:22
And there was something going on. I. I lost my mum because she wrote the book, gave it to me. I read the book and she ended up, was so moved by this book about a man who'd been kept in captivity for so long that, he wrote a book about it, and then, you know, came back home and start to re assimilate into society.

01:19:20:22 – 01:19:42:18
But my mum was so moved, but she wrote to him and he wrote back to her. No way. Really. Yeah. And then they just had an affair. And that's why my dad left. No, no he just, they just wrote, they just wrote back to each other and then and he lost sort of ten. My might be less than that but a few years of his life.

01:19:42:18 – 01:19:57:06
But you can't do anything if you're stuck in a cell like all the damage is only coming back, and your wife's probably start to think about, what if you don't come back? Then maybe I need to find someone else. So, I'll probably die tomorrow for that one. Really? Like, you know, it was. It was the film.

01:19:57:06 – 01:20:25:14
Tom Hanks and the plane crash. Wilson. Yeah. And he's obviously on a desert island for how many years? And he comes back and his wife has moved on, and his life isn't how it was. That'd be pretty fucking painful. Yeah, that that would be horrendous. That would be horrendous. Do you think like when, you know, if you've seen captain, what's the one Tom Hanks when he's, he drives a boat and he gets Somali pilot pirates.

01:20:25:14 – 01:20:47:23
Come on onboard. I've not seen that Tom Hanks. I think he won. It might have been nominated for Captain Phillips. Captain Phillips. Right. Okay. And you and the Somali man comes on, he goes. I'm the captain now. No one talks about. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Rick, do you know, want to because you do this.

01:20:47:23 – 01:21:09:15
Yeah. The meme. I'm the captain now. Yeah. It's mean. So you never seen the film. So he's driving a commercial vehicle through Somalian waters, and the pirates come on board and take control of it, and he has it subject him to torture, and he has to escape it. And the Somalis are the bad guys, and they've got AK 47 and all that kind of stuff.

01:21:09:17 – 01:21:34:14
Sounds good when that's played in Somalia. Are they rooting for the who are they rooting for? Yeah, it's a good point. You know, they probably want your guys to win. Yeah yeah yeah. Because that story is written differently. They'd probably want it's a different story in it together. Yeah. Because at the end of that you're thinking intimate. Why didn't he survive?

01:21:34:14 – 01:21:57:22
But I don't know. Anyway I of I said that that's an interesting question. We, I think we've done enough of the, questions now. So thank you very much to every single person who sent those in. We've tried to answer them as best as we can, and I hope we've done it justice. In a minute, we're going to go through a dilemma.

01:21:57:22 – 01:22:22:01
And the something tiny, you know, the topic for next week is going to be hangovers. So the first ones we had as kids were teenagers, how we never really got them in our 20s to 38 of us now in our 40s, the worst hangovers we've ever had, the worst place we've ever been with a hangover, the furthest we've had to travel with a hangover.

01:22:22:03 – 01:22:42:07
Any sickies that you don any little poo poo is that snuck out when you're that hangover? Hot snakes? Yeah, yeah. I remember once I was so hung over and I was in the shower and I was crouching down and I was like, I think I'm going to do a poo in the shower. A like, I was just, I was I couldn't move.

01:22:42:09 – 01:23:00:13
And in my mind I was like, if I, if I do a poo now, I just push it down. Oh yeah, I'll be down. It'll be all right. No one with no one, no one would have no, I didn't go for any of it. Would you. Would you rather have done that?

01:23:00:15 – 01:23:23:21
And no one knows or not done that. And everybody knows. Do it. Do Stampy. Yeah. Stop! Yeah, yeah. Prove your life it's come to. If you look down and you've put yourself in the shower and you have to stamp the poo through the plughole and you'd be like, whoa, what is this? Oh, if I become a I did, I did read something on Reddit.

01:23:23:21 – 01:23:46:24
I, where a guy had been doing that, which was really great. It was like a normal occurrence. I just yeah, it was, it was, it was, it was something. I mean, I'm sure it is something, you know, that. And I don't know if I read it anyway, but they were, they were shitting in the shower and stamping it down and then got to get a plumber out because the shower kept getting blocked up and there was a terrible smell.

01:23:47:04 – 01:24:03:24
And the plumber came out young, clogged the pipe and there was loads of shit in there. And the plumber kind of looked up to them in their eyes to be like, the shit in this pipe shit doesn't go in this pipe. Someone's been shitting in the shower. And it was that point of, oh, I know what you've done.

01:24:04:02 – 01:24:22:15
You know what I've done. We don't talk about it. Just get rid of it. It's like, oh, killer in Muswell Hill kept him murdering gay guys and putting their body parts down his toilet. And then it all coked up. They. What was his name? He, played by David Tennant. Yeah, it was him as well. He's walked past the house.

01:24:22:15 – 01:24:40:06
Cromwell. No, not Cromwell, that's fucking Fred West. I used to walk past where he's working. Muswell Hill. When is that? All the matter happened in that. And he's just shoving chopped up body parts down the Dennis Dennis Newton Hill. What is it, Nilsen? That is news. Yes. And yeah, he's got a got to have a great one of the great.

01:24:40:08 – 01:25:04:23
Yeah definitely. Yeah. He was he was. And he would say well if you, if you had too many to, if you had to write them, maybe you should do a podcast writing British serial killers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Once. Yeah. Oh that's that's definitely I'd love to do that. Bloody love to do that. Right. So hangovers next week we're going to go into dilemmas.

01:25:05:00 – 01:25:13:17
And this is called bad Love Island.

01:25:13:19 – 01:25:43:03
Oh I'll just tell you got an issue for a tissue. You're a bit sad cause it will give you an aching in your soul alone in your flat. Please talk to Vicky and flat head. Let that stress off your chest. Well, friend, you deserve to be like you're safe to get nice and warm between Vicky, your and.

01:25:43:05 – 01:26:10:12
Bad love Island highlights I dated one of the girls on this year's Love Island. We were together for around four months before school was mixed a lot when it came to parties. Now the dilemma I have is that she said on Love Island that she has never had an orgasm during sex. As you can imagine, all my friends are ripping the shit out of me because, rightly or wrongly, I thought I'd give you one.

01:26:10:14 – 01:26:31:11
Chris, this is awkward writing this out. Oh, hang on, hang on a second. Hang on, hang on, hang on a second. Okay, so someone who listens to this podcast, his girlfriend, he's on Love Island, ex girlfriend, ex-girlfriend is on Love Island. Currently. Currently, I'm watching this. My missus is watching it. I've watched the movie. Really? I remember someone saying this.

01:26:31:13 – 01:26:56:16
I can't remember who it is because yeah, she said she's never had an orgasm through intercourse. Yes, with a man. I'm like, maybe. Yeah, it's a man. So that's so weird. Someone that's. Yeah. Okay. And now what? His friends. Him because he said it in national TV. All his friends are ripping him. They're attacking him on Insta. And the quote is, her quote is being tagged with him as well.

01:26:56:18 – 01:27:17:14
So now I have people that I don't know messaging me if I'm embarrassed because my friends are putting photo on the Instagram, tagging me with her quote, what the fuck am I meant to do? Write it out and hope it goes away? Or forever be known as a man who can't satisfy woman or say she's lying and try to laugh it off.

01:27:17:16 – 01:27:50:08
Many thanks Mr.. He thought he did a good job. I say, firstly, I think we should go back to the I and just quickly ask how many, how many, how many, how many women regularly come through in intercourse. So I ask that both. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I guess I can. Okay. Good. Hello again. Can you answer a question for me if you can sort of gather the information from the internet?

01:27:50:10 – 01:28:15:15
Because a friend of mine or someone I know, he's recently been exposed for not being able to give his previous girlfriend an orgasm. Now, the question is, is how many women regularly come from penetrative sex? That's the question.

01:28:15:17 – 01:28:27:23
She's thinking good. She's still thinking good. She's still thinking.

01:28:28:00 – 01:28:53:14
Should I talk her? Studies show that about 18% of women can orgasm from penetrative sex alone. Many women need additional clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, so it's definitely not unusual for penetrative sex alone not to do the trick. For a lot of people. So 18% of women can, only 18% of women can come from penetrative sex alone.

01:28:53:16 – 01:29:24:14
And clitoris stimulation is important. Yeah. So, yeah. It's not your fault, mate. You've just been exposed on national TV by some woman. No, no, not some woman. Someone who has a experience that she's shared. Yeah. And so it's your friends, you all your mates who are sharing this stuff in the exact same fucking boat. You. Yeah, I like, I dunno, I mean, I think exactly it's such a comment of just she's listening.

01:29:24:14 – 01:29:52:13
Well I was talking as if it was part of the conversation. But this I don't know how to say this without, you know, to make it generic enough so that people can't track back, and I don't think they'll be able to anyway. But I do know of a married couple, and this is going back a couple of years now and said person had confessed to never having had an orgasm with their husband.

01:29:52:15 – 01:30:16:13
Yeah. So I mean, it's I don't think it's I think it's not that regular, you know, I mean like, but not free through penetrative sex. Yeah I think, yeah, I think so. If you think like in terms of biology, the penetration part of sex comes at the end of the entire act. If you're just going in there and going, right, sex is me just sticking my dick in you and and pump until I come.

01:30:16:15 – 01:30:20:17
Then obviously she's going to.

01:30:20:19 – 01:30:50:04
Requires so much more than that to reach a point where you can climax. But most of the sex should be about foreplay. You know, doing the old, Yeah. Yeah. What about cunnilingus? Sustains us, but dirty word, isn't it? But, like, and then I get want to say. But just it's just. Yeah, it's getting involved in the nether regions, right.

01:30:50:04 – 01:31:16:11
That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. So you know, you know, just for women, I don't think penetrative sex alone is the be all and end all is. In fact, it's not the it's the end all. Yeah, but you need to be the bill. Yeah. That's right. So I think I think you can't really do anything. And it's why the more you practice this stuff, the more it kind of gets worse.

01:31:16:12 – 01:31:35:07
Yeah. But it's a tough one. If you've gone out with someone who goes on. Yeah. And she doesn't know what she's saying to you. She's, She's not thinking that your mates are just gonna jump on this and not. But it is. I mean, I can't think of a friendship for a friendship group that I've been a part of in the past that wouldn't have used this to attack me and laugh at me with.

01:31:35:07 – 01:31:53:14
So, yeah, some of you just got to suck up, and it's not. But it's not that big a deal for them. Yeah, I think you just got to take it on the chin. So I'm just one of those things I wouldn't I wouldn't be fighting back or clapping back. Just to ignore the messages from the randoms movie mates.

01:31:53:14 – 01:32:13:21
Just laugh it off. Everybody in my friendship group so everyone can, you know, share sex. I don't know why I'm doing that. That's the reality. There are very, very few men. And if a man in your social group goes, yeah, I'm brilliant at sex, he looks like a knob. Yeah, he looks like a fucking knob. And he's probably lying as well.

01:32:13:24 – 01:32:40:21
Indeed that. Right. So the I've got to do something and, you know, he's, These are the best ones. We've been running for quite a while, so I think I'll probably just read at one and I think I'm going to go with flats. Favorite one. So something I, you know.

01:32:40:23 – 01:32:47:16
Why something you know, you.

01:32:47:18 – 01:33:12:00
You have to try everything once or twice. Here is something I know. Only I know, which also happens to tie in with your early pot. Talk about giving mates a blowjob, bro job to set the scene. Loads of mates from home had come to stay at my uni house, which is made up of four other mates from home who all ended up going to the same university.

01:33:12:06 – 01:33:34:19
So it was a big catch up with plenty of drinks, drugs and poker between close friends only. Everyone leaves for Christmas after a few great nights, leaving just me and another very close mate of mine from back home. This mate was the one I played Xbox with, and we had hundreds of late nights over the years chatting away while playing online often.

01:33:34:19 – 01:33:58:17
These talks ended up being about girls and sex being horny teen. It as night approached and it's just me and my mate, I got excited to have one of our classic chats. I had a weird feeling it wasn't like looking forward to having a few beers, watching the game of a mate. It was like the sort of excitement you'd have before a first date with a girl you were in to.

01:33:58:19 – 01:34:26:12
What the fuck? I didn't fancy him. I didn't still don't fancy boys. I thought about it and realized I'd been programed by hundreds of late one on one convos about sex with this mate to get horny at the thought of him again. What the fuck? The night passes and the drinks flow. The chat goes exactly as expected. When I'm hard as a rock, more drink flows.

01:34:26:14 – 01:34:53:05
We ended up with porn projected on the living room wall, and I joke about having a wank before Sasha Gray had her bra off, me and my mate had our cocks out in a drunk haze. I then remember getting naked and crooning it over between my mates legs and putting his cock in my mouth. I must have been on my knees for 30 minutes giving him a blowjob that would rival Nancy Reagan.

01:34:53:07 – 01:35:26:09
Anyway. He lets the poison out eyes while I watch about two hours of people having funny accidents on YouTube. It's mad to think about and we've never spoken about it since. You may be thinking, wait a minute, this isn't something I need. You know, because your mate knows and you'd be right. The bit only I know. It's a month later after having 1 or 2 cheeky rang thinking about that random night, I thought I'd get grinder on, see if I like doing it again.

01:35:26:11 – 01:35:49:20
I didn't want anyone to know, so I waited to find the perfect stranger who I knew I could keep a complete secret. I find one and I end up meeting him in a Novotel car park. He's not like his photos. About a foot shorter than me, older than I thought. He was about 5560 and looked like a bit of a nerd.

01:35:49:22 – 01:36:13:12
It's too late now. I'm too polite. I followed him to his room. I'm paranoid of secret filming, so I ask if I can blow him in the bathroom room. I'm hoping there's no camera. 20 minutes later and a man, old enough to be my grandad blows a salty load from his three inch penis in my mouth, which is promptly spat into the sink.

01:36:13:14 – 01:36:35:19
And then I left. And that is something I need. I know, but that is, I didn't even, So when remembering the only part of that story I remembered from back when it was originally told was the bit where he met a bloke in the Novotel about. I didn't remember the preamble. I forgot the preamble was another one.

01:36:35:21 – 01:36:58:22
Yeah. That is, that's an explosive in more ways than one was. Probably used. That was probably the best one, I think. I mean, to at the most sort of shocking. Yeah. The other one I got the, the that was, I don't know if you remember when, the. Yeah, we might as well time and we've done one 40 minutes already.

01:36:58:22 – 01:37:24:09
Well, it's let's fucking do it. You're still in your. Okay. The magic hand. My something I do you know story is it way back in about the 90s, during my late teens at a house party of a mate of a mates, things were dying down. They like this thing starting to creep in through the curtains. Those of us who decided to crash there were starting to find places to curl up and grab.

01:37:24:09 – 01:37:47:17
A few weeks before the dreaded hangover journey home, I was lucky enough to black one of the safest. I'm a soon sound asleep. I was disturbed at some point a someone managed to squeeze on next to me, but lying the other way, top and tailing. I was a bit annoyed at losing out on comfort, but wasn't in the mood for arguing and was soon back off to sleep.

01:37:47:19 – 01:38:12:16
A little while later, I was disturbed again. This intruder of my personal space wasn't happy with just invading my space. Decided to take the invasion to a new level, and had their hand down my jeans in my boxers and was fondling my cock and balls. They were doing a great job as well, taking their hand out now and again to sit on it.

01:38:12:18 – 01:38:36:04
I really rub the right places. I'd only been with a couple of girls and they hadn't been a skilled as this one, so I let her carry on and clumsily laid my hands to rummage about her jeans to return the favor. You can imagine my shock when I found another cock hard as a rock down there. My first reaction wasn't anger.

01:38:36:04 – 01:39:09:06
Oh, discuss more sudden understanding of how they were doing such a great job. They knew the equipment better than a teenage girl would. I now had a dilemma. Did I recoil or why did I, angry, remove their hand? Or do I go nuclear and wake the whole room to make them aware of what was going on? Oh, did I let them carry on and offer some slight relief back when I was young horny teenager who had been single for a few months.

01:39:09:06 – 01:39:35:23
So I let them carry on and tried to reciprocate it. But to be honest, I'm ashamed to say I couldn't return enthusiasm they were offering me. Before long I shot my load, at which point they withdrew their hand and removed mine from theirs. We both carried on, pretending to be asleep. When I finally opened my eyes, I realize it wasn't a random stranger from the party, but someone I was close friends with.

01:39:36:00 – 01:40:03:16
Oh, we never spoke of this moment and remained friends for years without ever being mentioned. We drifted apart as a friend as our friendship group splintered, and I learned recently he sadly died before even hitting 40. I can only assume he took this event to the grave with him, as I have never told anyone else here I hear I heard this rumor about you and execs from back in the day.

01:40:03:18 – 01:40:27:19
I've never heard. That is something I've never talked about to anyone, but it feels good to get it out there anonymously. I've never had anything like that happen since, and I had forgotten all about it. But your blowjobs for mates talk reminded me of it. Oh, and that is something only I know. Early doors. Well, that was. Yeah, that was a most viral clip about.

01:40:27:21 – 01:40:53:14
Yes. Yeah yeah yeah yeah on TikTok. Yeah. 87,000 video views have begun a hey if he's your mate give him a rose. Yep. It's not sexual. Yeah. And it's just like helping a mate move out. You don't want to do it but you do because you're mate by. Absolutely fantastic. Okay. The topic for next week is hangovers.

01:40:53:14 – 01:41:19:14
We won I hate sickness most. Horribleness hangovers that you've ever had. Send in to lads anon pod at gmail.com. Stay tuned for when we launch our patron next week. Probably the 1st or 2nd of July. And until then, we'll see you next Monday. And just before we do do that, can I just, I'm going to play a track from my little brother.

01:41:19:14 – 01:41:41:18
Alex Campbell is, has made all the jingles, including the the opening tune and everything else you hear. So instead of playing the standard jingle, we're going to play one of his tracks as a thank you to him. Cheers, Rick.

01:41:41:20 – 01:42:07:01
I went crazy, yeah, I might I wasn't sure if I would ever come back. Laughs I'm all white. Yeah, all the world from another world are to I'm here to alter, the world like oh you're so bright. Why the friendship's a great web I point out my track uneven even. Keep on spinning. If you shaved off my head, I'm like a giant.

01:42:07:02 – 01:42:34:16
Keep running the place. You get my stories from the dead. There's ravens in my tower. Stretcher holder on my shield. The spirit I tumble out is the one I file to kill I'm amplifying I noone in the good old British mind. Like druids seeking prophecy. The whispers Riverside I wait, I wait quite yeah I wait might I weren't sure if I would ever come back for I'm my white.

01:42:34:16 – 01:43:06:07
Yeah all the world from another world I'll wait for I'll wait quietly, yeah I might I weren't sure if I would ever come back off. I'm all white, yeah. All the world from another world. Wait time I'm just I, I'm fucking wait inside you I last so many times. Actions are within the skull apart I hiding me enough time I rock me like a bush.

01:43:06:09 – 01:43:28:08
Bullshit I need this for the people of the moss. The people of the sticks and banners. People dying. The pop. The people feeling me no crying cuz you do that. Grab a socket line. The chaos mind is pokey in this wrath. The underworld is tough until you fill it up with love. Come on. Oh wait, quite yet I wait.

01:43:28:09 – 01:43:56:01
Might I weren't sure if I would ever come back, but I'm my way. Yeah, of the world. From another world I'll wait for I'll wait. Quite yeah I wait. Might I weren't sure if I would ever come back off five my white yeah all the world from another world I'll wait just you know.