#106 | Road Trips | THIS Is One Hell Of A Road Trip!

00:00:02:10 – 00:00:37:15
My kids complain that they get sandwiches every day for lunch. They don't want sandwiches anymore. That is dumb. That is outrageous. I know, I don't want sandwiches anymore. The staple of our great country. I know farmers plowman's, but here they are. Plowman's. Lunch is bad. King tomato lays two bits of pizza. Doorstop pieces of bread. Yeah. Pickle. Lovely butter.

00:00:37:16 – 00:01:03:22
What do they want instead? Like they're going for a fight. Like with kids. You find something they like and they're like, right. Let's buy 30 of those. Yeah. Then they. And they go off them. So at the moment we're buying these kind of pop, right. Pop baked sausage rolls. They're not from Greggs or something like that. Yeah a four pack that they had that they're the ones.

00:01:03:22 – 00:01:24:23
Yeah. Stick them an air fryer. And the girls the other day, obviously they had their sausage rolls for lunch and I was feeling a bit angry. I thought, I'm going to I'm going to have a little go see what, see what it's like, too. It was. It was fucking ring to dike. I'd love to have two, but would you would you stop yourself if you thought that was lovely?

00:01:24:24 – 00:01:46:05
I'm not going to tell you, though, because what we talked about last week. Yeah, yeah. Jiggly got. Did you post a picture of you, by the way? You bought it? No no, no, it's funny you said that because I look back at it and I absolutely bottled it. I was like, you know what? I'm really comfortable. I've posted myself as an IOI woman on our Instagram, but I looked at that file.

00:01:46:07 – 00:02:08:21
I was just like, I cannot you can cannot paste it anymore. It is disgusting. It is disgusting. Do you know what you're talking about? We're like bringing up kids. So it is. Yeah. You it's you get to a point where you just think whatever, they're hungry. If they will eat it. We have to give it to them because kids are nuts.

00:02:08:23 – 00:02:27:16
If they don't like their breakfast, they just won't eat it. And then the alternative is, well, you going to go hungry? I'd rather do that. I'll choose that. Look, just eat the food you can so you like. Oh, no, you like sausage rolls. Quick, give them sausage rolls because at least they have something in their bodies. Your kids will legitimately go, I don't want to eat that.

00:02:27:18 – 00:02:48:02
And I'm happy to starve for the next eight hours. Yeah. At some point in becoming an adult, that changes it. Yeah, it does. Like one of the things as well, like when I, when I was doing the sandwiches and they were like, oh, we're not eating sandwiches. Don't want them, don't want them and I want like, I'll do anything, I'll put anything in them.

00:02:48:02 – 00:03:11:14
And then they're like, right, chocolate spread. Then I want chocolate spread out. And I was like, I can't both. Yeah, I can't send you to school having chocolate spread sandwiches. This is ridiculous. What is there, like five? We won't eat anything. So what's so offensive about two bits of bread? I made, sausage baps for the kids to drive in the other day, but the.

00:03:11:14 – 00:03:28:21
Oh my God. Yeah, but the only. The only paps we had were that they're lovely, Rick. They're lovely. Right? They are pretty grown up. But, you know, when you go to Sainsbury's and they've got cheese on top of the on the baps. Oh. But it's sort of like grilled on to the top. Top of them. Yeah yeah yeah.

00:03:28:21 – 00:03:51:17
No they're, they are like if you like a sausage bap it's just elevates everything to another level. Yeah. And so Chloe's in the back and she was I don't like this. And I went boy it's two. Chrissy. It's too gritty. I turned round I said Chloe, eat that. Eat it. Because there are children in this world with no food.

00:03:51:19 – 00:04:09:07
Do you understand? I don't have enough to eat, but it's starving to death. And you're talking to me about food that's too gritty, you know? Right? Because, like. Like when I was 17 and my mum said that to me, I wouldn't give a shit about us kids. Fuck those kids. That's what I would think in my head. I die in here.

00:04:09:09 – 00:04:31:17
They show me one starving kid and I'll eat the fat on. If I was in that car and I was on my way to school, and you pass me back to, like, a sausage bap or bean like, hang on a weekend. Yeah. What am I getting this treat? What? Not what? I got cheese. Yeah, it's got cheese on the top of my back.

00:04:31:19 – 00:04:49:21
Are you fucking mad, Rick? Imagine that. We say. What you mean. You went on a road trip, right? And at the end of the road trip with some fish in right. Oh my God. Right. Imagine we drove and then out of nowhere, we're driving. I pull out a sausage bob for you. And you didn't know you were going to get.

00:04:49:23 – 00:05:09:21
I would probably swerve into the central reservation system because life wouldn't get better. After that. It's be over. Like, what's the point when you can't ride in this? We've got to do a road trip, right? We can eat. We we have to. We could do a road trip, right? And we can make it at work thing. So, so tax deductible.

00:05:09:23 – 00:05:28:21
Yeah. Well, we get in a van and we record as we go. Made that a lot, a lot. Honestly, you're saying that I'm going to make this happen. But you know, you say that and you don't. You know. No, I will de I will. Do you watch you made such cheap lunch. I did make something happen. I did.

00:05:28:23 – 00:05:58:21
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00:05:58:23 – 00:06:21:04
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00:06:21:08 – 00:06:45:18
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00:06:45:18 – 00:07:16:21
I hope he doesn't mind me mention his name called Proby the pig. Now Proby the pig was in fact the lad's guinea pig. So he came into the lads Patreon early and he was testing out this code and testing out the patron, making sure all the links were working and everything was was sorted. So thank you so much to Proby for doing that for me and all the other lads that have joined since it's gone live.

00:07:16:23 – 00:07:44:18
I just want to, I, I can't thank them enough. I'd be appreciative of enough for them showing support and coming on board, and we hope to see a lot more of you soon. Before we jump into today's topic, I do have to bring up something which is in the shape of a sausage roll. Conor McGregor's hog. He's got an absolute fucking.

00:07:44:22 – 00:08:14:11
You see, you sent the photo in. Yeah, he he he is. It's not a new photo, is it? I don't know, I've never seen that photo. Yeah, he's got a weapon, mate. He's got a fucking or is it pipe Tyson in a pot size. That's good. It's, Yeah. I mean, I yeah, not only is he sort of harder than anyone we know, but he's also packing in an absolute.

00:08:14:13 – 00:08:32:08
Although it did strike me as a little bit like, you know, when you give it a pep talk. Yeah, yeah. Flick the end a little bit. Make it. Yeah, yeah, a bit more presentable. Yeah, a little bit at the end. Yeah. Like when, like, you know, before you had one night stand, you do a few press ups before she got in the room.

00:08:32:10 – 00:08:51:17
If all men will know that you kind of, you know, sort of quartermaster is not a bad way to end sexual situation. So, I don't know, maybe he was quartermaster because there's there's two photos. There's one where he just got it out and there's another with a with a weight on the end or something like that. Is it a weight?

00:08:51:18 – 00:09:11:07
I thought he was, conquering? I don't know, it looked like a weight. Like he was, like, working out his cock. I look both of them. And I was like, where did the cock ring come from? Well, before, that first picture's not good enough. I need to put cock ring on. And he sent it to Azealia Banks.

00:09:11:09 – 00:09:36:03
It just doesn't make any sense. It is. It's crazy innit? Now what? Like I get that he's. That he's probably sending those types of pictures to random. What? Actually, I don't get why he's sending them to random people at all. He's Conor McGregor. People are obviously going to share that photo. No, it's never ever going to be kept between two people.

00:09:36:05 – 00:10:01:01
But then Azealia Banks, like I did, read that there was a quote somewhere that they'd been sending each other saucy pics from like 2016 or something. Yeah, that's what I thought back from back then. So but I mean like and and her to tweet that like it's pictures is fucking mental. She's a bit like not since she anyhow.

00:10:01:03 – 00:10:32:09
Yeah she is but he's even he has like there was some more photos that emerged of him canoodling with some lady on a beach somewhere. Now he is just cocaine is a hell of a drug. Maybe. Yeah, it really is. He's just living the I mean, I want to say the high life. He's a but there is a, Azealia Banks too and say I when that came out, I was obsessed with her a little bit.

00:10:32:09 – 00:10:57:17
And that video, I don't even know. You know, you come in with the same Toto tales where you play around, fool, you know, and I not that they're not none of that like me. You don't know this song. No, You Don't know is really about two, one, two. I know her name, I don't know, I don't know the I.

00:10:57:18 – 00:11:16:16
So I've got to play some now because it's just people don't know. Not going and going.

00:11:16:18 – 00:11:30:23
Hey, I can be the answer. I'm ready to dance when the band. But then when they hit that it get to camera. Good to see you bring that temper into the game. That you should still be in the bit you want to. You can be an angry fit that punk with the beat. And you know what you want to become.

00:11:30:23 – 00:11:47:07
When I'll be fine. I just want to shove that punch which are beaten to the metal. She didn't kick her, which a bit. You come from for reasons you know women get money from in the season. Well, it might come in the evening. It's a bit too deep and I get that. Can't get any. If I just. That can't get here.

00:11:47:09 – 00:12:08:03
I just can't get any of that. But it goes on. But what a banger. What a bang. I can't believe you've never listened to that song, Rick. You. I think you have. I think you can. You can you not believe that? I've not listened to that song. It was massive. It's got 250 million views on YouTube. Well, I must have heard it then.

00:12:08:03 – 00:12:30:19
I must have y'all, you come in with the saying, so? So, tails. No no no no, no, I can't. But the thing is, it's too late for you to go. I've just heard the song is about, it's the sound of the summer, right? What what people what the way this works, why we put the podcast together is only I can hear the music I play.

00:12:30:19 – 00:12:53:00
And Ricky just had to sit there in silence for the last 51, so I enjoy it. I enjoyed it cause I liked your dancing, so it's so good to entertain me. Anyway, I, I was infatuated with her a little bit after that. Was she really in a sexual way or an artist? Why not? Yeah, I've got to be honest, I didn't,

00:12:53:02 – 00:13:16:09
I, I don't really like any of her music other than that song, so I. Yeah. No. Yes, I was Ella Banks. I can see where kind of blank on her MacGregor was coming from. Yeah. Fair enough, fair enough. Did you hear me? I also sorry, I just, because I was reading the news this morning. Did you see, what's his face from MasterChef?

00:13:16:09 – 00:13:33:15
John Torode. There's been a pair of them, right? Fucking pair of ass. I wasn't in the army. What's going on? I'm a racist. Like, you know, I guess there are. Not sure. I wouldn't say that, but the right. He's of an age and he's from South Africa. I that's right. Yeah. Is it Australia? I think so, yeah.

00:13:33:15 – 00:13:59:23
More or less the same country, I mean. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. And so, yeah, a bit racist. Make sense? The other one, fucking Greg Wallace. He's just. He just keep doubling down. I didn't do anything wrong, but yeah, I on Greg 50 people have all come and complained about you. I'm done. Anything wrong? 50 women are saying that you've either exposed yourself or you've said some sexual stuff.

00:14:00:00 – 00:14:20:23
Yep. Not true. None of it's true. But then and then and then it's been upheld. So some of this is true I don't yeah. Yeah I don't acknowledge it. I don't know what it. My brother Ryan has hated Greg Wallace for about 15 years. Yeah. Every now and then you get a voice note from you. And I fucking hate Greg Wallace.

00:14:21:00 – 00:14:44:00
One of my favorite things of, the Twitter area was someone tweeted Greg Wallace saying, can you retweet my sponsorship? That I'm or like, fucking run. I'm doing whatever it was, to, to help me out to get some sponsorship money. And Greg Wallace replied, Greg, question mark, because the guy had addressed him with Greg with one J and he says it with two G.

00:14:44:01 – 00:15:13:05
Yeah. They, you know, you're one. And then the guy replied saying, I'm really sorry to bother you. I'm really sorry about the, the type I blah blah blah. Thanks again, master. That's class. That is class. But that jumped right. Like what I wanted to say. It's like he apparently has said something. You can't really find out what he said, but something deeply racist.

00:15:13:07 – 00:15:42:21
I think you should guess what he said. Involved. You reckon? Yeah, definitely. Apparently he said it in, in a social setting in 2018, 2019. When he said it, the person knew he wasn't being malicious. And John immediately apologized afterwards. This is what like what the report says. And now John is saying he has no recollection of the incident and he flat out denies it.

00:15:42:23 – 00:16:17:12
Now, that's what you're saying. That's one strike for John. And Greg's got like 50 strikes. So you can kind of say that Greg more than likely has been saying some things of a sexual or sexual nature that's inappropriate that he shouldn't be saying. And John has got one strike. This is back in 2018, 2019. Now, we don't know what he said, but I feel like there should be some kind of cancellation rule that you can only go back five years is the code because people change.

00:16:17:18 – 00:16:41:06
Social has changed in five years. Throw up this well it's not. It's more than five years, isn't it? If it's 2018, it's six, six, seven. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I, but the problem is, when you work for the BBC, it's court of public opinion. That's all money. And so you don't like, you don't survive scandal? I don't know if it's time.

00:16:41:10 – 00:17:04:14
I think context is important. I know that say that I would never. I don't think there's any. It's never. I wouldn't feel comfortable. Truly comfortable dropping the n bomb anywhere, I don't think. No. If that is what you did. Yeah. So. Yeah, but I think, look, it's a difficult one because you have this thing with Thomas Partey is like in the air.

00:17:04:14 – 00:17:34:18
As a lawyer, you're innocent until proven guilty. So you should be able to work during that period. So it's like what the. And you've seen instances in football where players have been accused of rape. They've been found guilty of sold the suit. Their football clubs were canceled in the contract. I think the best position to do that is is what Man City did with Mendy was terminate his contract when they heard how serious the allegations are, and then bite the bullet afterwards if they got it wrong.

00:17:34:20 – 00:17:56:01
And it's such a difficult thing to prove anyway that yeah I don't know man. It's a fucking messy situation. But with Gregg Wallace, how where does he get this confidence from that he looks at himself and goes, yeah, that big, fat, bald head is what people want to see. I bet they want to see my cock as well, I don't where does he get that confidence from?

00:17:56:03 – 00:18:20:05
I don't know, I saw I was scrolling through TikTok or something like that and he was on. I'm pretty sure it was like strictly. He was on Strictly Come Dancing and he he squatted to the floor really quickly and his trousers split. They were all laughing and he said, junior, the funny thing to his female, partner, I don't wear any underwear.

00:18:20:07 – 00:18:39:15
She's like, are you kidding? And like, you could feel the mood change. And he's like, I haven't worn any underwear since I was like 17 or something like that. Yeah, it's all like under there. And I was just like, mate, this is. It's all it was. Yeah, yeah. It was just like, oh, he's young. Like, yeah, God, he's in his fruit veg as well.

00:18:39:15 – 00:19:00:10
Lenny. Yeah, he's a greengrocer early. So he started and then he also said he was part of the Millwall firm. He was a bit of a Millwall lad back in the day as well. Yeah. How is he? How do you like. Because the greengrocers I knew growing up in London shouldn't be a master chef. And so how's he got that?

00:19:00:12 – 00:19:24:17
I don't know, no one knows nowadays, but I just before we start the podcast, can I give a shout out? Yeah, of course you can. I want a shout out to a very special person. His name's Matthew Smith. And, he tweeted in January 10th, 2022. The N-word. No, he didn't really. He said the.

00:19:24:19 – 00:19:36:22
He said ever since Bateman revealed he sticks a like like a just a fucking hell. But I nearly choked. Fuck me.

00:19:36:24 – 00:20:00:11
See if you want to see Ricky's reaction, you can join Patreon and see all video but me couldn't hear it. Yeah. So he tweeted. Ever since Flav, Bateman revealed he sticks a leg out of the duvet as a regulator, something I've done for years. I literally think of him every night before I go to sleep. And then three years, three and a half years later, he's tweeted again.

00:20:00:11 – 00:20:22:17
July 17th, 2025, three and a half years later, the regulator gets a mention on lads and on pod, and three and a half years later, I still think of love every time I go to bed at night. Matthew, I just want to. And you're not the only person. You're not the only person who's told me this. I love the fact that I live in people's heads just before they go to sleep.

00:20:22:19 – 00:20:46:10
Because of the regulator that we mentioned last week. Yeah, I popped my leg out of my duvet two days ago, and I literally it was like half 12 at night, and I started giggling because it was just the name, the regulator. It's just fucking us pissing myself. And and I did think of you as well. I was asked to name it, what what if what if you get up that a little bit, Matthew, and just go, can I have love?

00:20:46:12 – 00:21:02:14
Whisper it wherever you are. That'd be lovely. Just muffle it into a pillow. Yeah. If you've got a wife, you better with. I love. So I wrote a jingle. Yeah.

00:21:02:16 – 00:21:29:15
The night hazy like Band of Brothers playing tunes. He's quite midnight waves surfin. Free till daylight breaks. Rhythm hit us different ways. Love of music I we prayed with our tongues in cheek. Bands I we like to speak and yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise.

00:21:29:17 – 00:21:50:00
Ricky. He. Oh, shit. I read the wrong bit. Fucking. Oh, motherfucker. That's fun. Ricky, he's two best mates. One main topic we answer your life dilemmas and confessions, and I feature something on, you know, and everything remains anonymous. Always. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast. I was having so much fun. Then I just forgot where I was.

00:21:50:00 – 00:22:03:23
I forgot we even had to roll a jingle. We just got to tune into it. Do you know what the topic is for today?

00:22:04:00 – 00:22:24:09
No road trips? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And you mentioning road trips? Just then I thought that I thought you were doing some linkage. No, I, I just main myself, so I'm conscious, but I, I feel like I want to do a road trip. I'm kind of. I want to do it. I want I I'd like to do it.

00:22:24:09 – 00:22:47:09
Get in the car with you or rent a van. Maybe do some fishing at the end of it. Yeah, maybe record some stuff. So, like I mentioned, like, just get on, like, maybe somewhere in the Cotswolds or. I mean, but it must be somewhere, maybe down to Folkston to see Charlie. Yeah. Oh, that'd be good. I've been researching some lakes down by you as well, so.

00:22:47:11 – 00:23:09:15
Yeah. Have. Yeah, yeah. Someone, Oh, fucking I forgot, you know, the, the fishing gentleman that that follows that. Yeah. Ship I ship I yeah, he, he lives in Laycock, which is a beautiful place. It's a great place. Let's go. Frank 90 minute Laycock like Laycock. Yeah. I mean they filmed some of, Downton Abbey and, Harry Potter there.

00:23:09:15 – 00:23:37:08
That's how picturesque. Oh, English quintessential countryside. Laycock is. Lovely. Yes. Beautiful. Yeah. I've actually been, researching some which call it GoPros and stuff like that. So I'm, I'm I'm ready for this. I'm ready for this road trip. I'm want to get all up in that, do you do you I mean, off you've just said that you are looking to to do one.

00:23:37:08 – 00:24:00:00
Do you, do you enjoy road trips? Yeah, I do, I think, I mean, I've, I've been on the possibly the longest road trip any person could do in Europe. Yeah, I think. All right. If you think I think you're right. Have you got a segment in the. Do you want me to speak about that now, may.

00:24:00:00 – 00:24:24:15
Let's fucking do it. Okay. So this is you can actually go back and watch two videos we made around this road trip. You're on the Bull Street YouTube channel. Or if you type flash drives to Russia, that should come up to Russia. So I works for a company called. I'll put it in the show notes.

00:24:24:15 – 00:24:51:09
Yeah, I, I worked for a company called Bull Street, and one of the last things I did with them was they produced it. They got a sponsored, sponsored deal with Vanarama, which was, you know, like a van. I think, company. And anyway, guy called Jed who was like, he head up the sales team. He's like, Flav, you might be driving to Russia.

00:24:51:09 – 00:25:05:01
Would you want to drive to Russia? And I was like, I'm not really. I don't want to, I don't. What do you mean? I don't want to drive to Russia. Literally. This is what you're going to be driving to Russia. And what do you mean? And I was like, cause in my head, I'm always almost out the door.

00:25:05:01 – 00:25:21:03
Anyway, I'm leaving in November and this was in the summer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I'm in the position where I can say no to this stuff, but I'm also not. I still need three months worth of work out of this. Yeah. Can't do an advance. I'm not really, mate. Yeah, well, we're putting a bid in.

00:25:21:03 – 00:25:56:23
We're putting a pitch in to Vanarama. And if we get it, you've got to drive to Russia with James and Sam. And I was like, oh, all right, then they get the gig. And so we have to drive to Russia. It was interesting beforehand because we were there, it was put together a package of like guidance of do's and don'ts when you went to Russia because Russia at that time was still there was there's a gap between what Russia is and what Europe is, and there's a massive difference.

00:25:57:00 – 00:26:30:19
And, you know, with hindsight, you could you understand what the 2018 World Cup was all about. It was about change in public perception of Russia before they invaded Ukraine. But none of that was sort of, we weren't aware of that then. Anyway, we, this useless lady, that used to be used to work. We've put together a package for us to, to, to follow and under security and guidance, it said journalists will not be given leeway.

00:26:30:21 – 00:26:53:01
So if you are captured or kidnaped, saying you're journalists won't help. Just written right in a sentence. In a word. Which. Yeah, I'm looking. Is that. Yeah. That's it. We're driving to Russia. That's the guidance. That's my advice. That's why I advise it. Just don't say you were a journalist. What do I say that, So, yeah, we drove.

00:26:53:01 – 00:27:21:11
We spent three days, four days driving across, Europe into. It's not actually. I mean, it is Russian territory, but it's it's annexed from mainland Russia, and it lives in between Poland and. Another country, I think the next country along there. Is it Hungary? Maybe. No, it's got to be a like, And so Lithuania or something.

00:27:21:13 – 00:27:45:23
Yeah. Lithuania. There you go. There's Lithuania. Belarus though. Lithuania. And so we drove there, and obviously that is the one of the ports to the Baltic Sea, which is why Russia never gave it up. Right. But yeah, we drove for, drove for that long to go. So going where, where do you drive from? So you started in London?

00:27:46:00 – 00:28:19:06
Yes. The cross to France. Yeah. When drove down to freedom through Kent to Dover. We got the ferry over into, into France, Calais and then up into Belgium or down into Belgium to Brussels. And we stayed in Brussels for the night. Nice. A bit boring. Brussels. Then we got up the next day and we drove through Belgium and in just to the edge of Germany.

00:28:19:08 – 00:28:46:07
So we drove for about. We're allowed to drive for about eight hours a day. That was what the remit was. Okay. And then on the third day, we drove all the way through Belgium, Poland into into Russia. But the problem we had when we arrived in the Polish and Russian border was the border control stopped us and held us for about two hours and eventually said, you can't take this van in.

00:28:46:09 – 00:29:06:15
They checked our visas. I because you have to own the vehicle to charge to, to, go through the checkpoint. You cannot go through in a card. You don't own. So we I think why, it's just one of the rules is just. You can't you can't come through in the least vehicle. You have to own the vehicle.

00:29:06:15 – 00:29:21:24
You know, at least you have to own the vehicle. Or, like, rent a vehicle. You have to own it yourself. I don't know, I don't really want to track whose vehicles going into the country. Yeah. Yeah, I see, good point. Whatever it is. So bearing in mind this whole video is about this van that we're driving through, and he says.

00:29:22:02 – 00:29:42:18
And the bloke says, you can't, we can't get through. So we're like, he said, you can go through, but the van stay in here at the border. So this poses a couple of problems is you can't walk through the, the, the, you can't walk through the checkpoint, the border. It's not like one in Europe where it's free movement.

00:29:42:18 – 00:30:01:24
You just drive through the country. Yeah. This was separated. Russia was separated from Poland by about a kilometer of what is effectively no man's land. It's. There are gods there that work there. There's a duty free shop in the middle of it. Weirdly, that's not that story. Will that that duty free shop will come into play later in the story?

00:30:02:01 – 00:30:21:13
Okay. So it we're we're sort of stuck here. Right. And we like we don't know what to do. So we call street who call Vanarama and we explain the situation. We can't get the van into into the country. And they're naturally like they're paid for that. They're paying for everything. They're paid for the van, they're paying for us.

00:30:21:13 – 00:30:47:17
They everything's coming out of Panorama's budget. Yeah. And they said, can you drive around to another checkpoint? And that checkpoint worked out. And it was about another eight hour drive around around the Polish border. And it could be that we get there and, there's no ticket. There's no there's no way of getting through. Yeah. What you did you did you drive to the other one?

00:30:47:18 – 00:31:07:03
No. It was ridiculous. Request. We would have got there. We wouldn't have this same problem. So we we just lost eight hours. So we were like, well, the as much as the video is about Vanarama and we've managed to make the video feature the van a lot. And really getting into the city with the van isn't the be all and end all.

00:31:07:05 – 00:31:27:16
So we left the van at the border and as we sort of sitting there thinking, I don't know what to do, this bloke are nowhere comes up to us. I can't remember his name. He was from, I think he was. I think he might have been from Belarus or he might be Lithuanian. Lithuanian. So it was Eagle. Eagle.

00:31:27:16 – 00:31:44:19
How do you know if I. You. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Well, I told all of this on this podcast. No, not all of it. Right. Anyway, Eagle picks us up and like thank God fucking Eagle. You're a legend. He goes I've got I've just got to drive my missus into into into Leningrad, which is where we were going to.

00:31:44:21 – 00:31:59:18
And then I'll come back and I'll get you. And we're sitting there for two hours and we're like, this guy's not coming back. Why would he come back? This is a faff. I wouldn't fucking do this for someone. And, all of a sudden we heard beep beep beep beep beep beep and it's fucking eagle. We were jumping around center right in,

00:31:59:20 – 00:32:19:05
And, yeah, we get in, get through. And he dropped us through the border and then just dumped us, basically. And we had to make our own way into Kaliningrad. That was all was fine, right? We got on this bus. I've mentioned the bus before with these loads of school girls, and they were just asking us questions about what, how how England is, how Russia is seen by Europe.

00:32:19:05 – 00:32:36:24
And it was really interesting. And then we were dropped off and it was good to me like, alright, we have to go to get a cab to where we're saying an Airbnb where we're staying. So sorry. The school bus was, did they pick you up from the border and take you into Kaliningrad? So yes, they did, but they weren't.

00:32:37:00 – 00:32:58:12
It weren't like we were just told that they might help us, I think. Right. And then we got on this bus and there was no one in it. And then again, this is feature in the video. And then all these girls appeared and like I said, girls, I was young girls, it wasn't like that. And, and they gave us a lift in and then dropped us off and that was, that was that.

00:32:58:14 – 00:33:22:01
And then we had to get on, we got in a, a cab. No one speaks English. Meet some of the younger people. Do. And why would they? But not because nationalistic and proud. Right. And it's almost like, who is this fucking English person trying to get in my taxi? And the three of us get in this bloke, and it's dark by this point, right?

00:33:22:03 – 00:33:40:19
And we're drunk, we're driving along and we're driving in areas we don't know it at all. I've got in the back of my mind kidnap. Yeah, sure. All this stuff. And I'm driving Ricky. And I'm like looking around. I look at James, he's oblivious. He's looking at his fucking laptop. He doesn't know what the fuck's going on. Sam's asleep.

00:33:40:21 – 00:34:07:13
I'm in the front seat and we're driving along, and he takes a left turn into a road that has no street lights. And the road is barely a road. It is bumpy. There's potholes everywhere. He's driving really slowly. I'm looking around, trying. Doesn't feel right at all. I'm really. Yeah. He's me. Wear my skin in under 90 minutes and it takes another turn.

00:34:07:13 – 00:34:26:15
And then Rick, out of nowhere, he just bursts into laughter. He's not listening to the radio. He doesn't have a phone on. He's just driving. And he's been silent the whole time and he starts cracking up. I'm talking about really laughing out of nowhere. I've been silent for 20 minutes of the drive and he just starts crying.

00:34:26:18 – 00:34:44:13
It's almost like he was suddenly aware of how scared I was. Yeah, yeah. And it made him laugh. And then I'm like, we're dead, we're dead. And I'm looking around. James still on his laptop, Sam still asleep. And I'm like, don't kill me if you're going to kill and kill them because they don't know that I'm aware, right.

00:34:44:13 – 00:35:11:03
I'm. Well, I'm afraid if you're going to kill, kill them too, because I'm. I'm scared it. And they don't give a shit. They don't respect you. I respect you anyway. He drops us off at our Airbnb. Oh, lovely. Lovely stuff. Right? Why was he cracking up? I don't know, don't know. Do you think he knew that he was playing a joke on you guys and taking down any space to be funny?

00:35:11:03 – 00:35:31:20
I was about to get to the because we took multiple taxis in and out when we were, you know, going to the game and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, that was the way in. Oh, right. Okay. Now I've got part two of this story. Yeah. Going back, which was more mental than, than it was the story isn't the journey that the story is how we got back.

00:35:31:22 – 00:36:05:21
Can I just say maybe we should interject with I'll do the second part in like 20 minutes when. Right. Okay. Do you want to. Yeah yeah yeah yeah that's fine. But just thinking about it. Right. I always think about like, if you zoom out of these things, like as a 43 year old man, British guy that you've been to, like Russia or an annexed bit of Russia, and you were driving around in taxis in a place that predominantly speaks Russian if you just, you know, I mean, it's just mad in it.

00:36:05:23 – 00:36:29:17
Well, I don't know that I wouldn't as Brits, we don't normally go to that side of the world or get involved in that culture, or it's something so alien to me. But certainly since, since. Yeah. More crazy. Yeah. It was, it was nice. I would tell you I had a good time. I really enjoyed Russia. I enjoyed planning great.

00:36:29:19 – 00:36:58:12
I enjoyed the people more or less. And, I, I think it was not what people reported it to be. That's why it was my take home. It was almost like, you know, when, you know, the point is to these things, when Sportswashing is involved is to change public perception. But the reality is, when you remove all the news and all the hype and all the bullshit, when you go to a country, you typically find them to be quite hospitable and friendly and welcoming.

00:36:58:14 – 00:37:22:07
Just people. Yeah, I remember this guy who, it was a YouTube channel and it was I loved it and it was called scene. I think it's called C90. You know, those old mopeds that taxi drivers used to do the knowledge on that really old plastic. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, yeah. It was like they were like orange or it was like a colored chassis, but it had plastic wooden leg protectors for the wind, you know what I mean?

00:37:22:12 – 00:37:40:24
Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Really basic mopeds. And he drove one ladies around all of Europe and Eastern Europe is called C90 adventures. Brilliant. It was like ready rough and ready. Yeah. But I watched all of those. And then he did tours afterwards where people would join him for seeing it on the C90 and he would tour over.

00:37:41:01 – 00:38:04:18
It was almost like a response to do you remember you and McGregor? And. Yeah, his mate, got him on those big bikes and they just. Oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, I love that show. But it was an almost like a, sort of, a really basic version of that. Yeah. So it's still on this C90 adventures.

00:38:04:20 – 00:38:39:24
You're still making videos actually. But yeah, you can go back. Mate. It's incredible. Yeah. But it's mad. Yeah. To say it, to say that I done that and like. And it was a long, and tiring ten days, which should have been seven days. It should have been six days. But it took ten. Know when you were over there and when you're going through the different countries, you was it just a race just to get there and get the job done, or did you partake in any just trying different food and cultures and this and that and the other?

00:38:40:02 – 00:39:00:06
No. So the drive over there was drive, sleep, drive, sleep. But yes, that's what it was. There was no chance to do that. But we were in Kaliningrad for two days in total because we had to cover the game as well. And we and we walk in and in the video there's this bit where people didn't believe us that we didn't have tickets.

00:39:00:06 – 00:39:21:17
So we were in this car. We were driving to England, playing Belgium in the for dead rubber for, the group stages of the World Cup. And we didn't have tickets and there was no way the bullshit hadn't secured us any. And Vanarama had no connections, and we just didn't have tickets for this game. So we're driving all, all the way over there.

00:39:21:17 – 00:39:45:10
But really, just to show this fan off, we didn't. People didn't believe us. They didn't believe us, mate. They thought, there's no way you're driving over. There were no tickets. That's what we did. But did you get tickets? Yeah, we got tickets through Simeon Millinery. What? Yeah. Simon Mignolet was, the Belgian second choice goalkeeper. Yeah. And England were playing Belgium.

00:39:45:12 – 00:40:04:14
Yeah. And I just have a way of finding getting axed. Just apart from things like Glastonbury or finding a way of getting into places. And I just remember that. Done some work for a guy who, who had some connections in the world of football. And I rang him. And is there any chance I can get a ticket for this?

00:40:04:14 – 00:40:24:23
Specially because a dead rubber didn't mean. And both teams are free. And about an hour later he contacted me and went, there's two tickets. You have to go to this hotel and pick it up. Pick the tickets up, ask, say. Similarly, I had left me two tickets. So we went there. We picked the tickets up, but he said there's only two.

00:40:24:23 – 00:40:43:23
And it was free tickets for us. Right? There's only two tickets and we're like, well, at least two of us again. Like it's something. Yeah. Anyway, we get there, we opened it and it was four tickets from the how many? Oh my god, spare ticket. People thought it stage. Yeah. People thought it was just a wind up. It won.

00:40:44:02 – 00:41:14:01
We didn't have tickets and we pulled this off somehow. And we were sitting in with the Belgian players and their families and stuff in the. In the end, you can still see I'm Mertens mum and dad, but right in front of us that's mental. Yeah. Like the again, this isn't as, one of those moments because it's part of the world that is quite, you know, a bit of shrouded in secrecy in this very political when that's it.

00:41:14:01 – 00:41:47:16
That's why that's amazing. But when I look back on my life, I flew with my mate at the time. He had moved to America, and another mate and I, we had flown over to go and see him. So we went to Portland, Oregon, which is the very north west of America. And our plan for being over there for three weeks was to go to Portland, Oregon and drive down the West Coast to San Francisco and then drive down to Los Angeles.

00:41:47:18 – 00:42:12:19
And that's what we did. So when we when we got there, like to I mean, just like thinking back to it there, I was in America. Yeah. Driving in a car down the west coast of America is like my dream, Rick. I think it's not fucking like who. Who is that guy? Who was that guy? It's. It is.

00:42:12:19 – 00:42:35:09
It feels like a dream that I. That I've done. That is unbelievable. Anyway, we got there and his dad had got a new job and he was working, you know, quite well off there. And we it was time for us to leave, time for us to drive to, to San Francisco. And we were going to take their like version of a Ford Focus.

00:42:35:11 – 00:42:57:18
And as we're leaving, he said that if he got the car keys and he said, yeah, sure. And he chuck them over and he grabbed them and he said, you've you've chucked over the wrong keys, that you've chucked me the keys to your Mitsubishi Spyder convertible and he was like, yeah, now I have enjoyed the trip that we were like, oh my God, fuck.

00:42:57:20 – 00:43:25:07
So we put all our stuff in, you know, dropped the top on it. And at that time, what were you. Ludicrous. I think it was back then. Yeah. And we just had the tunes blaring out and it was like driving down the long open road. I don't think I've ever felt as free in my life. That's what it says.

00:43:25:07 – 00:43:56:01
Road trips all round. And it just that freedom music kind of forget about everything. Exactly. It was just with mates. The weather was good, the tunes a pump in the long open road and like there wasn't anything or anyone to stop past, you know? I mean, it just felt incredible. Now as we're driving down, I think the trip all in all, like the drive is like a 20 hour drive or some shit that and we did it.

00:43:56:03 – 00:44:18:04
We did it in stages. But the one the trip that I remember was we were driving from San Francisco and we were driving to LA, and there's like a couple of routes you can go. There was the coastal route or there was a more like inland kind of route, and we were like, we went to on the way down, we went to this inland kind of route.

00:44:18:08 – 00:44:41:13
Yeah. And as we were driving, all I remember seeing fields like miles and miles of fields that were just black, absolute black fields, and I had no idea what it was. And we spoke to someone and they said, that's when there's been a thunderstorm and lightning has struck Highfields, and it's caught alight and everything just goes to black, just burns out.

00:44:41:15 – 00:45:15:18
And I was like, fucking hell, that's mental. And I remember being on this highway, right? And we were driving down it and I looked to the back, no cars. I looked in front. No, we were like just in the middle of nowhere. Like not a single sound is not really eerie. And as we got down there, it was starting to get hotter and hotter and I was like, we would actually put the roof up now and, put the aircon on, and I can't remember where we were exactly, but we were probably we were close to Death Valley, so it was maybe like 3.5 hours away from Death Valley.

00:45:15:18 – 00:45:34:09
But you still got the, you know, the heat from where we were. And I remember getting out of the service station like the roof spin up air coming on. We opened the car door and the sun that hit me. It, like, almost brought me to my knees. It was that hot. I was like, this is fucking mental. We have to get back into the car now.

00:45:34:11 – 00:46:00:12
So we quickly filled up, jumped back into the car and carried on our journey dans le. But in that drive was like like you saying it's you, it's your dream. And back then I was 19 and it kind of felt not like it's a wasted trip. But I feel like when you're older, you can appreciate everything a lot more because you're young, you're not taking anything in.

00:46:00:13 – 00:46:32:09
You're just there for the ride and the experience. But I'd love to do that trip again because it was just fucking incredible. And San Francisco is lovely. And I was once you've done all the Beverly Hills, you know, the, you know, Walk of Fame, all of that, there's not really much to it. Sorry if you're listening from LA, but it's, it's a bit of, it it's it's no London if you, you know, try and compare or anything like that.

00:46:32:14 – 00:47:05:01
Very different. I know, but it's. Yeah, it was like one of those trips that I kind of wish, and I hope to do it again because of that sense of freedom, an open road and no cares. And it was it was absolutely incredible. That's probably the longest journey that I've ever done. And I swear on my life that, maybe I'm misremembering, I don't know, but when we decided when we were in L.A., we had to go back to Portland, Oregon, and we wanted to stay in L.A. for a bit longer.

00:47:05:07 – 00:47:20:14
But if we had to stay there, if we want to stay there a bit longer, that means we wouldn't be able to do as many stops going back up, am I? Makes it. I can drive it a month. We're like, mate, that's like 18, 20 hours of driving. You can't do that, he said. I can do it.

00:47:20:16 – 00:47:41:10
And I swear to God, he fucking drive like 18 hours straight. I could not see why you had to do it. Yeah, we had to do it because we kept delaying it and we wanted to stay in L.A. a bit longer. And you had a flight back? Yeah. If someone. Yeah, I can do it in one. I swear to God, he did it in one place.

00:47:41:12 – 00:48:16:20
Which is fucking mental. So that's been the longest and probably the most, favorite trip I've done. I've also done another trip where, I went with my uncle when I was like 14, maybe 13, 14, 15. I can't quite remember, but we drove from Milton Keynes to Spain, so to Rebecca and I was we we taken this estate car and I was in the back with another lad who was a similar age, who was his partner, son.

00:48:16:22 – 00:48:36:10
But I remember when I was, when we were driving down there, we were in France, we stopped over and we by a river. And where the, support structure for the river was, it all dried out? It's all mud. So I said I was going to go down. Let's see if I could see any fish. And I like be careful, be careful.

00:48:36:12 – 00:48:57:02
And then I said, I'm going to jump on that, that mud sitting there and they were like, no, you don't need to jump down into that bit because it's just mud. Like, just stay there. Obviously I didn't listen and I jumped and I sunk up to my hips in the mud. So I was stuck in a bug. I'm I had to pull me out, for the whole trip.

00:48:57:04 – 00:49:16:17
It's just lying there, my boxer shorts fucking in the back of this, in the back of this car is an absolute nightmare. But, and when we were traveling to Barcelona, I remember that the. I don't know, I don't know if it's the same now, but we we saw all these cargo, short loads of police cars, like blue lights, and we're like, fuck, get down here.

00:49:16:17 – 00:49:36:00
We're not supposed to be in the back. So driving for a few hours, like through Barcelona and that side, we would like ducking and ducking. And then we only realized that they weren't police cars. They were taxis. Just weren't free. That whole bit of not fucking doing it. What are you going to say about the the second part of your.

00:49:36:00 – 00:50:01:00
Oh, yeah. So the, the films, the films end those two films, the films end with us walking away after being beaten by Belgium, and the film ends. But we still had a trip home. We set out to get back to the border. So we had a couple of things that were in front of us we didn't know had, so we had to get back from Kaliningrad to the border.

00:50:01:02 – 00:50:15:09
And it's not like you can get a taxi through, like you say, you have to go through in an own vehicle, I think. I don't know why we couldn't get a taxi. There was some rule that we couldn't get a taxi through. I can't remember exactly. So we get to the border anyway, which is like a cab to the border.

00:50:15:09 – 00:50:42:13
They drop us off. And there was a queue of tourists just waiting to hitchhike through the. Through the border. Yeah. And we join this queue, bearing in mind we have all the camera equipment, we've got laptops, we've got all our stuff. And people were getting in these sort of family vehicles, these little SUVs, the little van.

00:50:42:13 – 00:51:02:16
Yeah, yeah, nice little vehicles. And we get to the end. And this guy, he's, Who? Or Ricky, he looked like a crackhead in a the most busted up vehicle ever. And he looked at us and goes, do you have any drugs? And I'm like, like, maybe we don't have any drugs for money. Yeah, we got money. You guys okay?

00:51:02:16 – 00:51:30:16
Get in. So we got in this, like, cracked out little Honda Civic. We put all our stuff in there was our Frankie mate, and he goes, no, Frankie, no, fuck me. You pay me. And he went through and stopped at this little duty-free shop and I'm going to miss Jesus. He goes by four bottles of vodka. So we went in there, bought four bottles of vodka, gave it to him, and he and the car won't stop.

00:51:30:18 – 00:51:55:09
So we get back in, the car won't start. I'm like, we're in the middle of this. These two checkpoints right in the middle where it says duty free shop and there's nothing there. And he's like, you have to push. You have to push to get the cars are rolling, start. And I'm thinking if we push him and he goes and decides to give us all of our gear is gone, but we can't not push him.

00:51:55:09 – 00:52:18:10
Rick, because we stuck. So all of our this is everything. Our passports, everything. We're in the hope that this guy doesn't. He's we've just bought four bottles of vodka. Just doesn't drive off and fuck off. We push it, he gets started and he thankfully lets us back in. We get through the checkpoint, we get to our van and we're like, brilliant.

00:52:18:15 – 00:52:40:22
We're through. Out of nowhere, this man says, can you give me a lift? And we're like looking at him like, this guy's right, but he's asking for a lift to the nearest sea or nearest town. Well, in your vanarama van. Yeah, he's there. And he was like, yeah, I will listen. I'm like, Eagle helped us. Surely we have to help this guy.

00:52:40:24 – 00:53:02:11
James is like, fucking don't help him, man. Look at him. And I'm like, I feel bad. Like I feel like I should. Anyway, I said, I'll sit in the back with him. And we sat in the back and he was just mad. He was just a mental guy who, we managed to drop off on the edge of, I don't know, but the local place in Poland was,

00:53:02:13 – 00:53:29:22
Anyway, we drove all the way through Poland with the idea of getting to a game in France, though. So watching the game that France was playing to just make a final thing, a video content. So we ended up not seeing it. We had got about 2 or 3 hours done sleep, and we set out to drive to Paris the next day we was driving along the motorway and James was driving the first time.

00:53:29:22 – 00:54:00:11
He driven in the whole time because he was editing a lot. Right? And all of a sudden on this dual carriage motorway on a bridge, tire blows. Oh my God, yeah. Tire blows. We are holding up the entire motorway. And we were like, we don't know what to do. The tire is broken. We've got an English, fucking English, number plate.

00:54:00:14 – 00:54:21:23
So everyone's like imaginary French people, not French. People are German. So we're still in Germany at this point. Germany going, oh my God, I fucking motherfuckers like this and we don't know what to do. The police came and escorted us off, off the, bridge onto, like a side, but, we had to call for RAC or whatever the respective thing is in Germany.

00:54:22:01 – 00:54:44:17
They tow us to this tiny little town that has a, It was a Mercedes. There was a Ford. They had a Ford garage. It was a Friday. And they said, we can get you a tire, but not till Monday. And we're like, we're. Where are we? We're in the middle of this, in this tiny little retirement village of a of a town in Germany.

00:54:44:19 – 00:55:03:14
And the boys had to get back, like James had to get back to his Mrs. and Sam at work to do, because he's got his own channel and stuff. And I was like, you know what, lads? I'll stay with the van. No. Yeah. So I stayed in this tiny little village, this little German village for, for three days, waiting for a tire to turn up.

00:55:03:16 – 00:55:19:09
What? They win. Yeah. They went. Yeah. Left me. But just like it, it it was. I mean, you saying what? I want to be honest with you, I'd been in the car van with them for a week, and I was like, yeah, I'm fine for a bit of space here. Like, yeah, yeah, what I'm going to do, I'm just going to sit.

00:55:19:11 – 00:55:39:01
I'm going to sit in, I'm going to have a few beers and just chill out in this hotel for two days. That that felt like a dream to me. Really. But I was stuck in, and I was like, all right, so we waited till Monday. They split the tire. I'm relieved at that point. I've had enough. I wanted to drive home.

00:55:39:03 – 00:55:57:08
I was driving home, and then I realized it dawned on me that England were playing Colombia in the World Cup that evening. Do you remember the game? No I don't. We went through on penalties, remember Eric Dias was winning. But here we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm. Oh fuck that. It was that game. Yeah, it was that night.

00:55:57:10 – 00:56:15:15
And I'm driving and I'm working it out and I'm thinking, I want to get home to be with my dad in London to watch this game. I, and I was racing against time. And as I was driving towards the border in Calais, there was an incident and a big fire engine going by and we were stuck there.

00:56:15:17 – 00:56:45:10
I mean, I watched the first half on the ferry going over to Dover, and the second half I listened to on the radio, on the, on the, on the M20. Rishi there was not a single soul on this road. There wasn't anybody in the whole world were watching this, this, this second half against Colombia. And I was driving along and I listened to Eric Dyer score the winning penalty, and I was beeping my own and I was pumping with this.

00:56:45:12 – 00:57:11:18
I think we'd fucking done it. And I'd spent my my way of experience. And that was in the van I've been practically living in for eight weeks and eight days. And Rick, only I look back now fondly. It was one of the most stressful seven, eight, nine, ten days of my life. Yeah, I can imagine because it's, although you're there with people that are a good lot and in normal circumstances it would have been great.

00:57:11:18 – 00:57:34:06
But all the content you've got a film edit, make sure things are signed off and all of that. And then on top of that, the fucking world blowing out and the, you know, trying to get through the checkpoint to know that would be a fucking nightmare. I mean, looking back, that's that's an amazing, amazing trip. I'd love to do something like that.

00:57:34:08 – 00:57:59:08
Maybe not like drive to Russia, but like somewhere across Europe. That would be fucking amazing, right? We are. We are going to go on to. Well, we're going to go and dilemmas and something 98 dilemmas is going to be a bit different. We've got no dilemmas this week, but we're going to introduce something else and we are going to go to something funny, you know, which is called Bag of Tricks.

00:57:59:10 – 00:58:40:11
The topic for next week is UFOs. So have you ever heard of the Falkirk Triangle? I haven't because we are going to be going into that. So the Falkirk Triangle refers to an area in Scotland and encompassing Falkirk, Bonnybridge and the surrounding areas known for its high number of UFO sightings. So we'll be talking about that, the incident at Roswell, New Mexico, and the retrieval of alien bodies, the v shaped flying saucers, the balls of lightning that you see in the sky, anything that you have.

00:58:40:17 – 00:59:04:06
I mean, have you ever had a close encounter or what you feel is a close encounter? Or know anyone? Do you remember, like in the 60s, people being fucking abducted willy nilly? No, I don't do that anymore. Like where where was that got? It's because people have. Now there's a burden of proof involved in everything. Now. Yeah.

00:59:04:08 – 00:59:33:06
You really got a doctor there, J g all right. Yeah. What do you look like? He had a lung thing and a, balloon head. And, what's this? A Netflix documentary as well, where they were people were, you know, they were so sure of the out of this world technologies that they had seen that couldn't possibly have come from planet Earth, that we're going to be talking about UFOs and aliens in next week's pod.

00:59:33:08 – 01:00:02:17
If you've got any stories or anything that you you like this kind of shit, you would know some of the stories. So send in to lots anon pod at gmail.com and we will read it out or speak of it. Now we are going to be going into not dilemmas. So when all I had written, I kind of, I don't know what you'd call it, just a premise of what lots anonymous was going to be about.

01:00:02:23 – 01:00:28:04
I wrote this actually in January 2023, and we didn't do our first episode until January 24th, a year later. But this feature was called. And another thing. So this was about, two best mates pissed up on a bench in the kitchen at the afters. Or you've sloped off with a pal at a party we sent down. You pissed up?

01:00:28:05 – 01:00:54:04
Yeah. Jacked up. And you just put in the well to rights. You know, you've either stressed out about something, you're frustrated life's hard or whatever. Oh, there's just something that's just pissing you off. You're, you know, you just want to get it off your chest. And this is going to be a new part of the pod that is going to be on rotation with dilemmas when we get them in.

01:00:54:06 – 01:01:22:10
So it's. Just a place where the phone. Shit. Yeah I have a moan. Share your frustrations. Get get stuff off your chest. When I was watching a lot of Glastonbury, when it was on and, I there was there's a couple of things easier, right, for men to be on men's shoulders at Glastonbury and easy if you're little enough to go on another man's shoulders.

01:01:22:10 – 01:01:45:18
What is that? Is that I don't know. And also, like, should anybody be on anybody's shoulders, a glass and Brie, like, you know, everyone's view. Yeah. It's irritating and it's obnoxious. You've paid all that money and you're blocking everyone's feet. But my daughter actually saying those people on those people shoulders, like, imagine that. Imagine if we were there and that person was in front of us.

01:01:45:18 – 01:02:12:06
Yeah, I can get off. Yeah. The and the other thing I'll say line. Another thing the like people that are holding up smoke bombs, vegetables. They're rubbish. They look rubbish. You're not doing anything. If you want to do someone flare like one that lights up like you've got. Oh, you're holding fire. Yeah. Do that. Don't turn up with a with a smoke bomb and go look at what we are.

01:02:12:12 – 01:02:35:07
You know, it looks rubbish at it stinks. Stinks of egg. Well and the other another thing Ricky. Yes. All right. Glastonbury. That really annoyed me. Was people would have laminated signs with the word June on it, holding it up at a deejay. All they know is a tune. It's been released, they can go on Spotify and they've got 400 million plays.

01:02:35:07 – 01:02:58:14
They know it's a tune. Also, don't eat to limps. Laminate a piece of paper that was chewing on it. You will basically see I know this is a tune I want you to know. They don't know who you are. They won't remember you. You look like a knob. Yeah. Those are. Those are my additions to the. I mean, that is exactly what we're looking for.

01:02:58:16 – 01:03:22:20
So it can be as short as you want, as long as you want. Send in a voice note, send an email. Send it into lads. Unknown pod at gmail.com. We'll play your and another thing and we'll have a little discussion about it. We're now going to jump into something only you know where you go, who he is and what we do.

01:03:22:20 – 01:03:37:07
Ricky. Yeah, I'm still going to. I can't find the jingle I know. Yeah, but I love it. Wow. Something, you know.

01:03:37:09 – 01:04:05:03
Bag of tricks. So a chair, a story that still makes me smile. But I can never share with anyone, lest my wife will kill me. A few years back, my wife and I were traveling to an all inclusive resort in Jamaica for our first holiday without kids. Jamaica. Jamaica. WhatsApp from. I think it's from, NAS and

01:04:05:05 – 01:04:26:09
Who's Bob Marley's son? Ziggy. No. Damon. Damian Marley. Yeah, I think yeah. You know, at the moment. But maybe it's welcome to jam Rock. I don't know, sorry. I, if because we were without kids and would have lots of other alone time, my wife and I decided to pack along some adult toys to add a bit of fun.

01:04:26:11 – 01:04:48:01
When my wife and I travel, we try to only pack carry on baggage so we don't have to deal with the hassle of checking bags. This is relevant to the point. You'll see why we get to the airport and head through the security checkpoint. As my wife and I are waiting for our belongings to go through the metal detector, one of the security agents us.

01:04:48:03 – 01:05:09:22
Whose bag is this? Indicating my wife's carry on. My wife whispers to me, oh, God, it's the sex toys. Yeah, that were packed in the carry. How many times have they taken you? Can't they just have normal sex for a couple of weeks? Why the necessary toys? Of course I, I was going to mention this as well.

01:05:09:22 – 01:05:32:01
Not what rocks full of sex toys. Well, how good are these sex toys? You can't deny just a bit of in out and in my mind as well. And then it is still a bit of like there's some smears on there. Well, what's the oh go to anyway? My wife whispers to me. Oh, God. Oh, it's the sex toys.

01:05:32:03 – 01:05:57:08
She quickly walks up to the female security agent who is about to open the carry on in a very public setting, leans in and whispers to her, there are a number of items that are, of a personal nature, which have probably triggered the x ray. The security agent smiled at her, winked, and said, no problem. Discreetly. We checked the bag and we are on our way.

01:05:57:10 – 01:06:24:04
The embarrassment to our wife and her packing wasn't over. We get to our resort, unpack our bags and head out for dinner. When we got back, we found our room had been turned upside down by room service that come in and gotten the gotten the bed ready. What my wife hadn't realized is we had set. We'd set to get service and then unpacked our bags and left the bag of sex toys sitting in the middle of the bed.

01:06:24:06 – 01:06:42:03
Housekeeping came, came in and got our bed ready and laid the sex toys out nicely and neatly in the middle for us. Brilliant. My my wife was mortified. I just laughed as I thought it was a funny way to start a vacation, and a story that she'd never let me tell anyone. And that is something I knew.

01:06:42:03 – 01:07:03:20
Wait, no. That's good. That reminds me of when my stepmom cleaned up my room when I was, must be about 1415, and she took my porn mags and and there was a pile of clothes that had to be ironed because they were clean, but just thrown in my wardrobe because that's what I did. And she placed the two porn nights on top of the pile of clothes.

01:07:03:22 – 01:07:22:08
Man. Only, what did she think, though? Was it a kind of a power move? It's just not that I know. I know what you. She would have told my dad that my dad told me to do it, and I told him to do it, so I thought it'd be funny. That's what it was. Like I said, there was no above that.

01:07:22:08 – 01:07:41:08
Right? Yeah, I can imagine. That's not not ideal. I can imagine these two as well. I've gone back and, you know, like, where you were, someone that they. Oh, they torture equipment. It's like, left on a on a medical tray. They go back into their room. Let's just not deal with those. And fucking cock rings lined up.

01:07:41:10 – 01:08:05:17
Fucking mental. Right next week, as we mentioned, we're going to be chatting about UFOs and aliens. If you've got any stories, send it in to lads anon pod at gmail.com. If you want to join the patron, go to patron slash lads anon pod and until then we will see you on Monday.