#109 | The One Where Rick Is On Holiday…

00:00:00:10 – 00:00:30:09
The night. Hazy light. Band of brothers. Playing tunes. High is quiet. Midnight waves. Surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm. Hit us different ways. Love the music that we played with our tongues in cheek. Band aside, we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise. Hello and welcome to lads anonymous is episode 109.

00:00:30:15 – 00:00:58:08
I'm Ricky, he's two best mates. One main topic we answer your life dilemmas, confessions and I'll feature something only you and I. And everything remains anonymous. Always. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast. I, sweating my ass off the heat there. What's the heat there? Dunno. At the moment I like, you know, it says it's 31, but it's like, you know, it's more it just it's it's relentless but beautiful.

00:00:58:10 – 00:01:22:09
I've always wondered, have you got, have you got aircon in that night. No. Just loads and loads of fans spinning round hot air. This is your mum Mrs.. Your nan's old villa. That's right. So my grandparents they came over here in the 80s. I've only ever known them to, to live in Spain. They retired out here. So the family villa is here and unfortunately they've both passed away.

00:01:22:11 – 00:01:44:06
But the family villa remains in our, in our family. So every year we come over here and stay for a couple of weeks and enjoy our holidays here. And that's where I'm at at the moment. So we have rented a villa across the road. It's a nice villa with a pool, lots of rooms and that's got aircon.

00:01:44:08 – 00:02:01:18
So my mum, my dad, my sister, brother in law and my nephews are in there and then me and my family are over here. So we just walk in across to each villa each day and just jumping in the pool. I was before I jumped on here. I was on a sun lounger, oiled up. You know, like everyone wear suntan cream.

00:02:01:18 – 00:02:29:16
I go for that fucking cooking oil. What's this for? Love it to get brown. Yeah, yeah. Brown. Yeah. Well, so they've got the nice place and you've got a, you've got fans, they've got aircon, you've got fans. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Shouldn't I, I don't want to throw spanner in the works here. Right. But surely two of the adults should swap out for your two kids so that they can have the aircon and that maybe your mum and your dad, maybe.

00:02:29:18 – 00:02:53:20
Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe. But maybe my kids like the my kids get the aircon over the, the adults know your kids who you obviously the children they take over there to be looked after. Maybe they should go in the aircon and maybe granddad, a grandma should know. No they don't, they don't do that. They might be, they might or maybe sister in law, someone's got to go.

00:02:53:22 – 00:03:14:16
Yeah. That's what you've been doing. Them just mucking about and being in the pool. And we've go down to the beach. Yeah. I didn't know. No. So we arrived here on Monday afternoon, and then my family arrived Monday night, set to drive back to the airport to go and pick them up. And then I got to choose 45 minutes.

00:03:14:18 – 00:03:38:08
Any issues on the road? No, not really, but when you drive in night time and Spanish roads, it's a bit gets a bit. Yeah. Barry. Yeah, it gets bit area. And then, I nearly killed my missus as well because the, you know, the, the phone cradle, I always bring one out so I could stick it in their rental car, but it didn't fit in the little kind of Evans to clip onto it.

00:03:38:10 – 00:03:56:20
So my missus has been holding the phone and she's been giving me the directions on Google Maps. And as I'm driving, I'm like, is it straight forwards? Yeah, I think it's straight. I don't I don't want to know if you think it's straight forward. I need you to tell me. It's straight forward. I say it gets a bit, a bit Barry bit gets a bit on top.

00:03:56:20 – 00:04:18:02
Yeah. So we did go the wrong way a couple of times. We're on our way to Madrid. Comes with time. I was fucking absolutely going mental, but, I just found it been lovely. God. Yep. That's lovely. So if you if you, Obviously, if you're not a member of the, patron, you wouldn't have seen me just rub a freezing cold beer on my head.

00:04:18:04 – 00:04:45:06
But as you just heard, I'm recording in my nan's villa. I have no idea what the internet is like, so hopefully. Yeah, hopefully the sound and everything and video will be fine, so just bear there with me for a couple of weeks while, while we do this, I look at it for, until the 19th. So I fly home early Tuesday morning.

00:04:45:08 – 00:05:07:18
Do you remember when you used to work for a living and. Yeah, I'm getting that last night on a holiday and then having to get back on the plane to England. That feeling? Yeah. God, it was the worst man. The utter worst. I know. The thing is, I was telling my kids today. Well, yesterday, because I did a pod yesterday.

00:05:07:18 – 00:05:29:06
Quickie with Ricky. It was a slightly different quickie with Ricky. I thought I'd mix it up. So there's been a fair few. Something none of you knows that haven't made the main cut of the main pod, so I. I read out six stories, and then I went through why they didn't make the main pod. So if you're interested in that, you can sign up to the patron.

00:05:29:06 – 00:05:52:06
Patron.com/was generally the two. Sorry. What was it. So what generally the kind of vibes of some of that which just wasn't saucy enough. Do you know what I mean? It was just a bit like, went out to the shops and I put my left brain over my right foot and my right now my left at least needs a dick out or going in or something.

00:05:52:08 – 00:06:17:00
Yeah, yeah, it needs to be, you know, in it needs to be skeleton's got to be declared. I think if you want to guarantee getting you something. Only I know didn't make it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And there's some people that I've sent stuff in, ages ago, like we read out one a couple of weeks back. It was the gentleman and the wife coming for an airport when they're on the holiday.

00:06:17:00 – 00:06:39:03
And that bag that was, that was scanned went off, and there was a load of sex toys. Now that was sent in. Yeah, that was sent in a year ago. So I like to keep people on their toes, not knowing when the story is going to come out. And someone else for today's one, they send it in for a few months ago, and now is the time to do it because it's a holiday related one whilst I'm on holiday.

00:06:39:03 – 00:07:02:18
So you know, hope is not lost that yours hasn't made it. But if you have sent in and you wonder where it is, maybe, you might find out on the quickie. Ricky this week. How was, how's tricks with you, mate? It's fine man, it's been busy this week. Did they overlap? You'll be pleased to know that, I had dinner with Rory Jennings on Monday.

00:07:02:20 – 00:07:19:18
Oh, my God, people become obsessed with our, relationship, I think I yeah, I bet I get it a lot. I ask a lot, but anyway, wait for amazing, amazing curry. Superb. Curry is one of the women who went in there when I'm vegetarian. She gave me the best dish she got. And what, what what did they give you?

00:07:19:18 – 00:07:37:16
Did they tell you what it was? Come out? It was just it was curry, but it tasted sensational. I've never seen it before or after. But you just gotta trust them, right? It wasn't like it weren't a curry house. Well, you just so you can order a camera, a sander or a Madras. He couldn't. None of that was on.

00:07:37:17 – 00:07:57:21
Where was it? It's the Curry mile in them in Altrincham, just outside Manchester. Because we got there. Oh yeah. Yeah. So, Yeah, it's just one of them. Guess it's traditional Indian food. And I was like, yes, it's I don't know. Well, all of them sound amazing. Just give me your best one. And he did. And so it was good.

00:07:57:23 – 00:08:30:07
That was nice. And did the overlap. How was that? All right. My is what it is really. Well, what did you have to talk about? Like, what's it about? The, there's no real commotion at Tottenham at the moment. Is that so? Not you just sort of do it, phone it in, and then there's the. Yeah, there's things I would have said, but you know, about certain things at the football club, but I just didn't get my chance to and I just kind of, I didn't really, but didn't really want to be there, to be honest.

00:08:30:09 – 00:08:51:21
Yeah, I guess as well, because I see people like, not not for you specifically, but it's on like episodes when we've done The Fighting Cock or Lads anonymous or whatever. Why don't you mention it? What did you do that. Why didn't you say that? And it's like you can't when there's a free flowing conversation, you can't then go back to ten conversations later away.

00:08:52:02 – 00:09:09:02
You know that's where that fit. You know I mean yeah. So yeah, they've got to get through your conscious a lot to get through in an hour. So it's fine. I think I got through this one unscathed I don't know comes out next week. So when the abuse starts coming on now whether or not I've done. All right.

00:09:09:04 – 00:09:38:10
But there was a, there was a conversation between, Dan Cuckoo's, who's a Palace fan, and Greg surname, who's a forest fan, and obviously paired them up together to debate the Court of Arbitration for sport case about who should be in the opening. So they really kind of set it up so that they were going to go at each other and I yeah, how I felt about it, because they were it's the problem you've got with a show that size.

00:09:38:10 – 00:10:04:20
And for people that don't know the overlap is of probably the biggest YouTube football show on the internet, massive numbers, bigger than normal television numbers, including the clips of social media. It's insane. The numbers, right? Is it really insane? It is the biggest show in the world for football. Fuck you. It's doing hundreds of millions of views, hundreds of millions of views.

00:10:04:20 – 00:10:30:13
Not just YouTube, but across clips. Now, when it's that ubiquitous across the football space. Yeah, it comes with it. A lot of attention, a lot of eyes, a lot a lot of pressure and a lot of opinion. And so the set up, Greg and, and Dan and they've gone to each other and neither of them, I mean, I thought Dan came out really well actually, but never really got the point across.

00:10:30:13 – 00:10:53:02
They wanted to get. Anyway, I think both sides felt a bit frustrated. Anyway, when it comes to the night time it got published and Palace fans have been so irritated by Greg the troll these old posts and found some stuff about with bad tweets basically that he made when he was younger. No. Yeah. And like, he could lose his job.

00:10:53:04 – 00:11:20:12
He could. And I, you know, don't tweet that shit. But by the same token, you he's probably forgotten he even did it. It was so long ago. Yeah. And and he doesn't feel that way any longer. And he could have had a drink that night when he started posting stuff. I don't know what the reason was, but I don't think because you disagree with his take on a football match, his life should be torn apart based on something tweeted about last week.

00:11:20:14 – 00:11:26:05
I if you're if you're if you're.

00:11:26:07 – 00:11:47:23
If you're like, I don't know if you're Muslim and you're doing a background check on someone you you're interested in and then you find these tweets, then by all means, right? But if you're a palace filing, just trying to hurt someone because they have a different opinion about football than you. Yeah. Fucking weird because let's. I'm on a WhatsApp group, mate.

00:11:48:00 – 00:12:07:06
Let's have a look at your WhatsApp group. Let's have a look at all the things you've said to your mates that you never assume would be uncovered, but because he said them on X he is like fair game is destroyed. Keys is life fucking I can't stand people sometimes. Then yeah. What? What did he say? What he said?

00:12:07:08 – 00:12:33:15
Yeah. Some bad stuff, to be honest. Stuff. Right. Okay. I hate them. And he's there. You know what? I don't want to read the out. Really? But is he Islamic? Basically any. Okay. Right. He use the f a goatee on one of them as well? Okay. Yeah, but like I say, not, but but it was a it was, it was in t for spanning from 2011 to 2015.

00:12:33:15 – 00:12:54:13
And there was about I'd say 15 tweets in that time. Right. Oh fuck. It's his responsibility. He used the word. But people's understanding of the internet was different. Like you assume everything in your WhatsApp group is sacred. What if things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it becomes unlocked. What if what if it's not encrypted? And we thought it was.

00:12:54:15 – 00:13:19:05
There's this. There's times. Right. Like, say, if, I don't know that your, your stature in the football media has grown. Right. And you come across some geezer that is your mate. And back in the day you had a bit of back and forth and stuff like that, and you said some stuff and they've taken a screengrab from a WhatsApp and sent it over and said, oh, like Flav back in the day.

00:13:19:05 – 00:13:39:24
He said this. It was quite funny. He's a good lad and know that, like meaning it to be nothing really, but it's quite, I don't know, inflammatory comments. And it wasn't meant for the the purpose of being malicious and that gets sent about to people. It's like, I dunno man, it's a dangerous game innit? It's fucking horrible.

00:13:40:01 – 00:13:58:09
I think you kind of, I don't fear for my life, but, but, I'm nowhere near that kind of, I'm going to get canceled, but I'm pretty sure there will be some stuff out there that, if if you're listening to this, don't don't go and search. Don't waste your time. You don't need to write.

00:13:58:09 – 00:14:18:00
Just let go of my, social media. Just double check. I've done it a few times. Just double check our tweets every day. Yeah, like I didn't like. I can tell you what I searched for, if you like. This morning with a lot of n words that you were saying, I knew I'd never use that. And. No, no, you would never, ever say that I wouldn't.

00:14:18:00 – 00:14:41:14
I don't even know who said that back in the message board days. I don't think I ever used the n word ever. No. But I did, just in case. Right. The f word check to see if I've done any of those. Hadn't, What the what the. I that one. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. I can, just go check that one that's not there.

00:14:41:14 – 00:15:01:10
Yeah. Can go in there just in case. Yeah. Actually, all of them are me sort of sticking up for gay people. That's good. Yeah. Lovely. Pleasantly surprised there. Yeah, yeah. Well done. Palestine, obviously. It's, definitely 100%. You've got to check what you've been saying about Palestine. Israel, obviously. Right. I need to do both of those.

00:15:01:10 – 00:15:24:12
I've. No, I never no never know. And then you never like Gaza. That's I was I was fine all of them. No tweets about them at all. One of the I remember tweeting about one that someone found and, pulled me up on, but that got deleted. Oh, God. It's it's like, as in you've been on, you've been on overlap and someone has dug up.

00:15:24:12 – 00:15:46:22
No. So I don't I can't remember what it was, but it was. You remember, our mutual friend, what's his name? I haven't seen him for a while. He's a bit of a troll on Twitter. As opposed to. Yeah. I can't remember his name. He was he was posting loads of sort of pro-Israel stuff, and I, for some reason, I was at it into it as, oh, as happens sometimes.

00:15:46:24 – 00:16:12:18
Yeah. And then another person was arguing with him and because I was, I didn't it he this guy found an old tweet about me defending something about defending Gaza against Israel, that kind of thing. I can't remember what my politics was in 2014, which was when that was tweeted. But, whatever it is now, I know not to say anything because I don't really I don't know enough.

00:16:12:18 – 00:16:37:00
Right. So, he posted that and I was like, oh my God, I don't even remember having no recollection of even doing that. So how would I know it's there if I have no idea what what it was? And then I did a tweet search for black just in case. Yeah. But luckily, all good stuff. It's all good stuff about lovely stuff.

00:16:37:00 – 00:16:58:12
Lovely. It's, you know, I should probably do that, but, some, you know, I can't even be assed, all right? You're you're never going to say anything like that. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I'm. I'm pretty, sometimes I'm pretty clean, edgy. That's my problem. Yeah. Can we, can we talk about last week? Last Sunday for me?

00:16:58:14 – 00:17:34:17
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Waste Oasis. The dogs. Yeah. No, the bit for people that don't know, I managed to through somebody else's extreme unfortunate circumstances. You were, like, all over this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm really sorry about what happened, but what's happening with your ticket, mate? Thank you. But anyway, I managed to get hold of a ticket. My mates from Milton Keynes, they all got tickets and they had booked a mini bus to leave Milton Keynes at 4:00 in the afternoon.

00:17:34:17 – 00:17:55:07
We were going to be meeting at Wetherspoons at 12:00, drinking till four. Do you get. Do you get there at 12? No no no I purposely yeah. Wait wait wait you two out because I don't need to be at the at 12:00 I really don't because you fly an right. So my taxi picked me up at I think it was like 8:00 in the morning.

00:17:55:07 – 00:18:11:12
Oh, okay. Right. So, not too bad. I knew I'd have to get. I'd get up at, like, six in the morning. Yeah. So I get, I can give myself two hours of shower, getting everyone ready and stuff like that. What time did you arrive at the pub? I arrived at the pub at 2:00. Bang on 2:00.

00:18:11:13 – 00:18:30:16
Still two hours. Yeah. And then as soon as I got in there, they all started burn me, right? And they said, you need to catch up, so you need to buy two pints. You've got a down one and then sit and sip the other one. I didn't do that obviously. I just bought a pint. And then they said, they said, why have you got a receipt with your pint?

00:18:30:16 – 00:18:51:19
And they, someone had you've ordered food. You not only you two hours like you're ordering food, but the day of oasis analysis. Like, do you know what I'm 43, 42. I don't even know how old I am. That's how old I am. I need to I need to be all right for this, so I start. I was drinking 2:00, from 2 to 4.

00:18:51:21 – 00:19:08:21
Then as we were pulling out, we stopped off at an off license, put all the beer on the bus. It got got to Wembley at like six or something. We miscast. And when we got there for the like the last few songs, as soon as it got in the stadium. Got a pint water, got a pint of water.

00:19:08:23 – 00:19:28:22
Don't fucking care. I needed to, I needed to hydrate, I needed it. I've got a pint. Will, anyone see? Yeah, they did say. And, you know, when people like coating you often, you just think, you know what, I cannot, because I went out on Friday with the with the owners. Now, obviously, again, I can't I went out with them.

00:19:28:24 – 00:19:55:06
Speed drinking weren't even out till late. I think we were out till like 12 or something like that. But when I got up on the Saturday morning, I was like, oh God, it's been a bit late. I couldn't get home on Wednesday, but midday sitting in a bit and I thought, I cannot do that while I've got to look after for passports, boarding passes and get to that flight and get through even in that state, would you not trust on A to.

00:19:55:08 – 00:20:16:24
No, no. God, no. Oh, so Donald was at home on the Sunday all day on the Sunday. And I said, like, the taxi comes at 8:00. We need to get the girls ready and all showered and all that lot. So when that taxi comes, everything needs to be done, done and dusted. I got home at like half 12 at night.

00:20:17:01 – 00:20:47:24
I open the front door and there's two suitcases open with hardly anything in them, like barely started packing. I was like, I, I, I expected it to be white, weighed up. Are they under 23 kilos? Both of them? No, none of that. So that's why I had to get up early. Well, I just got up at six and then as soon as I was up at six, I was doing my usual, kind of sergeant routine of getting everyone ship in shape by, by, like, 7:45.

00:20:48:03 – 00:21:09:01
Why were they. I don't fucking know, Gary. I don't know she what was what was she doing all day? I don't know nothing. Nothing. Just sitting there going to Primark, getting some swimming courses. Yeah I don't know. Yeah, yeah. And stuff, stuff like that weeks ago. We can't go unless we've got the cases done. Might as well not have a holiday.

00:21:09:03 – 00:21:34:03
Yeah exactly. I should have just canceled it there and then I gone back to the boys and in a garage for him. Yeah. Mate, like, I know people that have been posting a lot of OIC stuff, and I've been seeing the clips, and I was like to begin with, like, not having had a ticket and I've, I've been to see them, I don't know, 7 or 8 times.

00:21:34:05 – 00:21:55:23
And I was kind of at pace that I tried to get tickets. I tried my best to get tickets a couple of times, and I was unsuccessful, so that sucked. But I've seen them enough times and I was okay with it. But then as soon as I've seen all these gigs and all these videos and all these things posted, it makes you think that looks incredible.

00:21:55:23 – 00:22:15:17
And then you chat, thought it was going to work. Yeah. And you can't people and they're like, that was the best gig ever. Like literally that was the best gig ever. And I was like, mate, that's a fucking bold statement. And then you're listening to Liam. His voice sounds amazing, knows just enjoying himself on stage. The crowd, there was no acro and stuff like that.

00:22:15:18 – 00:22:36:18
And I thought, fuck man, am I am I fucked up here by not trying hard enough by not paying 400 pound for a ticket, but not, you know, put on out all the stops. I fortunate I was enough to, you know, land myself a ticket. Went in there watch watch Richard Ashcroft road back the right. Yeah, it was fantastic.

00:22:36:18 – 00:22:58:15
Was he seeing his own stuff on Verve? Stuff? He did it. Did a few bits of his own stuff, but obviously did the bangers, love stuff as well. He needed to. Yes. There's love if you, you know, don't like a song and, met my, mate, I that I stopped to say hello, mate.

00:22:58:17 – 00:23:22:08
That Verve album, Oven hymns. I just it was everything to me about 1415. Yeah. It was such a such a great album. It just brings back such happy memories. And when you're, when you were just singing that. Right, imagine you've had a few beers. Anything else, you know? Yeah. Anything else? What do you want? You want managed to avoid the beans?

00:23:22:08 – 00:23:41:13
We managed to avoid it. Avoided. Did you think about any. Absolutely not. No, no, no, there was none. If I was with you, I would have been like me. You wouldn't. I wouldn't I wouldn't have done that. But I wouldn't have been there about beans, about anything, mushy. I know, I know, this story isn't finished, but I'm going to Solomon tomorrow.

00:23:41:13 – 00:24:05:22
It's like a Serbian house DJ. Yes, on the Royal, Royal Oak at, Royal, at the Royal Naval Academy. And it's just going to be eight hours in the sun. House music, couple of beans, a couple of beers. My wife. Yeah. I can't wait because, you know, if I'm the royal, which color am I being really stupid?

00:24:05:22 – 00:24:28:16
Here is it is is it on a, like a parked boat or something? No, it's in like a it's Royal Navy Academy. I. It's on the, it's on the, it's on the Thames, but it's not, it's not, it's not on a boat. It's on like a it's on our outside in like a green sort of greenish way.

00:24:28:18 – 00:24:53:16
Yeah. Sounds rain. So. Yeah. So, Yeah. So. Yeah. Like you were saying that. How, important. Like, listen to the verb was back then, but can you imagine? You're, you're pretty hyped up. Anyway. You're feeling great. You be my sunshine in and that comes and you're singing, and you're singing as hard with your chest as you can ums out just screaming the words.

00:24:53:16 – 00:25:15:23
And you look around and every other fucker is doing the same. You just think this is the energy in the stadium between everyone else. So one bit of aggro right near me actually, but there was no punches, fry or anything like that. I don't know what happened. I just concentrate on the gig and then you kind of waiting for, Oasis to appear and like it does, right?

00:25:15:24 – 00:25:38:03
It run through my mind. Is it is it going to be that. Is it going to be that time that they're like, oh, it's 8:15, no one's here is half eight, no one's out. And then it's like there's been some trouble backstage. Liam's had a go now or whatever. I like the rules. Yeah, yeah, everything's all done and dusted already, and I've missed out, for fuck's sake.

00:25:38:05 – 00:26:05:12
But no. Then the the visuals for Oasis on the screen are just so fucking good. Psychedelic. It just looked amazing. And then it was like, for when fucking in the bushes came on like an oasis propaganda. Are you assholes? You bastards? Yeah. Me and as soon as that comes on and everything's flashing like Oasis and loads and media clips of Liam and no.

00:26:05:12 – 00:26:24:04
When they're young escapades and all of that laughs and then you hear it, and then they come on and everyone starts cheering us, just like, My God, I cannot believe that I'm here. And then throughout the gig, like when I've gone to see Oasis before, you see them when they're bringing out an album and it's kind of like, I like this track from the album.

00:26:24:04 – 00:26:48:13
I like that track. That one's alright, and I like that one. So it's kind of like it's great seeing them, but it's not everything that you want to hear and see. But this was like the greatest hits back to back to back. It was just insane. So I'm glad I didn't. You know, there was a there was a part of me that was going to check it out because of the, you know, the flights the next day.

00:26:48:15 – 00:27:06:01
But I'm so glad that I went got in at half 12. Absolutely knackered, covered in sweat and beer. I went, I just said like and said I'm going straight to bed. I'll wake up at six this morning and everything so it and I just had to, get through it. But when I wake up in the morning, I was tired, but I was fresh as a daisy man.

00:27:06:05 – 00:27:33:01
There was not one iota of a hangover or feeling, not shit or anything like that. I was just like, oh God, this is I've played a blinder. And that water did alright, you know, did all right, mate. I said, let me drink enough water. You're generally right. I'll find it towards like if we've been out drinking. If I stop drinking about an hour or two before I go to bed and just switch it for water, it just generally kills the hangover or nullifies it.

00:27:33:03 – 00:27:49:18
How often do you do that? Recently. Much more often. Recently? Really? Yes. Good. But not in the old days. Like, no, no, I sometimes don't want to go switch to water. Sometimes I want to carry on.

00:27:49:20 – 00:28:08:04
Yeah, exactly. That man. So good. Him. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I, I would try and get tickets to go and see them again in their September shows as well. So we've got, like, a mutual friend who might be able to, might be able to help us out if he can get enough, so. Oh yeah, that'd be. That'd be pretty good.

00:28:08:08 – 00:28:30:10
Especially. Yeah. That the money didn't get to go, you know, live hasn't seen him before. So yeah, I know it's my, my missus. I've never seen them. Yeah, it's it's, Yeah. Hopefully I can, again when I am, like, leading up to flight. I was obviously feeling a bit not nervous. My, my, my oldest daughter doesn't like flying either, and I was sitting with her.

00:28:30:12 – 00:28:46:17
Oh, that's a good idea. So. Yeah. Nice. I had to be the, to be the common influence. And just as we're about to take off, I went to say something to her and I. And she's just had tears rolling down a cheek, and I was just, I was like, it's going to be alright, babe. Don't worry.

00:28:46:17 – 00:29:01:14
Like, really coming down. I, daddy went on four flights this year and I didn't enjoy it, but, you know everything. It's all safe. Don't worry. And, you know, talking her off a ledge where really, I'm not looking round and looking out the side. The window, I think. Fuck's. Yeah. Now you look at the guy. You should be crying.

00:29:01:14 – 00:29:25:17
You should be crying. You. But a sign this one on the here. Yeah. And then I said to her as well, I was like, just pop your headphones in, listen to music, turn it up. They can't hear any of the, you know, mechanisms and all that. Like the engine's going, you'll be fine. She looked at me. She went, dad, I left my headphones in charge there at home.

00:29:25:19 – 00:29:47:01
Just fuck's sake. Yeah, he said with his feet. You can you can have two dads. So I gave them my ones. So there's two hours. Ten minutes. We have a fly. It's a fucking raw dog sitting there. Ring my tape hearing him, you know, I just like sitting there like, fuck. I keep, like, tapping. I like, like you're like.

00:29:47:01 – 00:30:06:10
She's like, yeah, yeah. Like I'm listening to Take cry. This is really. And I'm just sitting there like fucking now. Did I just see a bit. The wings come off then. Oh my god. Like just looking out saying oh the oceans of water beneath me. Oh my god. Yeah. Is this how many birds strike. That's only one bird strike.

00:30:06:12 – 00:30:22:11
Literally I'm sitting there, mate, and I'm just sitting there and I imagine, I think if you want this in your head. You got the plane home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just one, just a large of another plane just crashing through the plane in front of me. Yeah. I mean, that's probably. I mean, I didn't know you're going to say that.

00:30:22:11 – 00:30:38:07
And that is the main fear I've got on the way home because it's at like 1240 in the morning. The flight. Yeah. So they know it's dark. You can't eat like I think they pitch black. Yeah. What if you can't see out the window? It just goes, home. It just flies. It gets the information wrong. The other one.

00:30:38:07 – 00:31:13:05
Yeah. You know, the, Air India? Yeah. Do you know the likelihood is the pilot commit suicide? He just. Did. He cut off the fuel to the to the engines. And so the planes just dropped out the sky. He did that? It. I mean, I saw that in the, in the flight log that, I don't know if it is a him saying it or whether it's in the black box, but it was, that they, they had purposely cut off the fuel to the end.

00:31:13:05 – 00:31:31:00
That's what it said on the switch. Yeah. And I don't know why you think it would have been suicidal doing that. Yeah, it did it on purpose. Look, a quick like a fucking just fucking run in front of a truck or something. I don't know, man. Not a truck because it involves other. But, like, if you have to do it one way, I don't know.

00:31:31:02 – 00:31:50:04
So we, I was saying, like I suggested the other day, is that you run you go to Scotland, you take all your clothes off and you just run into the wilderness. And then eventually they you get you die from exposure. Yeah, that. So I'm thinking, what what's the least image? What's the least amount of splash damage. And I think that's it.

00:31:50:05 – 00:32:09:01
Like you. Yeah. No one find you. And if it is, it's like someone finds you, like two weeks later and you're sort of like an ain't a family member. But then someone said, yeah, but if you didn't find your body, there'd be no life insurance payout. Oh fuck. What then? But tell me what to do then. Is that right?

00:32:09:03 – 00:32:27:21
Yeah. Because there's no don't they need, like, a confirmation of the body, a death certificate to pay out? I don't know, what about. Do you remember the, story of that geezer that he said? He went, I think he was in South America or something like that. And he went kayaking, and he. They couldn't find it. His own death.

00:32:27:23 – 00:32:50:10
Yeah, he faked his own death. And he was, like, living in a shed in the at the bottom of the house. It's in Scotland, not Colombia. Not, but I thought he was, he went, kayaking in South America or some shit like that. And he actually went out to sea and they never found him, but he went he really just came back to Ireland or something like that.

00:32:50:12 – 00:33:16:15
So, yeah, I would, I think I would, yeah, the wilderness thing sounds alright. I think I probably America, I'd just find the nearest bear and just say, just go and buy a bear. Yeah. That does that doesn't sound quite so terrible. Also because they play they play with you, I think, I got, I had a bit of a, a bit of a shock today if you listen to the latest podcast.

00:33:16:17 – 00:33:40:19
No, I haven't, so I used when I was posting for questions on this on Reddit. I use my own personal account instead of the following question, so I delete it. I just delete the entire, And what what was it? Was it like, like a flat Bateman type or it just flat CFC? I set it up years ago.

00:33:40:21 – 00:34:01:11
But obviously through the years you comment in on stuff. I can't remember what I did. I don't like when I've been nights I've been so drunk I probably don't remember. And I was like, what's the point in taking the risk here? Just delete it. Because they, the people on Reddit figured it out pretty quickly. Someone. But it's so weird looking through flags coming and you're like, it's my personal read it.

00:34:01:11 – 00:34:24:17
Like, yeah, like how it was like then reading your diary. So I'm reading comments. I'd made on subreddits like fight porn. Oh no, I he deserved it. Yeah. Should have stamped on him. So I just, I, I can't take the risk of deleted the entire thing. Now, have you created a new one now, I'll just use the flight code for the, fucking now.

00:34:24:17 – 00:34:42:22
Yeah. That's, I've had a man that I've had a man fucking out, honestly. Right. And, I was chatting to someone, you know, last year I went to, a public poll the other day yesterday, because my kids for the past maybe 3 or 4 years, they've made friends of another family that come out at the same time every year.

00:34:42:23 – 00:35:01:11
So they wanted to meet up and they always go to this public pool. I met up with them was they and they were. What we have is that big. Just a big pool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. An outdoor pool. No, no no slides. It's just, a massive pool with loads of sun loungers, a big bar for cocktails and stuff like that.

00:35:01:11 – 00:35:27:07
And they do, you know, football, whatever. There. So we went there and met up with this family, and the dad was telling me about this year, the mosquitoes in Spain. He said, I've never seen anything like it. We have been bitten to fuck over there. It is outrageous. Like you can't sit down without being bitten. I've honestly the lumps all over my body.

00:35:27:09 – 00:35:53:04
I've met kids bodies. It's fucking. We're putting that repellent on ourselves. Dousing, even stinging our bodies. With so much going on, not working. Absolute fuck it, man. It's, There are fucker. As you said. Yeah. Pesky bastards. So yeah. And just to have list at the corner of, look at my eye the size of there because well see it serio.

00:35:53:07 – 00:36:19:06
But they don't you see through in Spain. What? Cyril, we've got, Choco. Whoops. Yeah, yeah. The good. What, you mean the cereal? But like in England, there is, like, a whole shelf full of cereal. Yeah. Over here there's like four cereals you can choose from, and they all look like they're gluten free cereals. It's just there. Don't fuck with Sarah over here because they're just.

00:36:19:06 – 00:36:37:14
I don't know what they do for breakfast. Cigaret in black coffee. I think I said just get on with their day. Well, have you noticed about a Spanish culture since you've been in? Well, I mean, where I'm at, it's quite. It is quite British. I'm not quite like it is quite British in the south of Spain. Yeah, in the south of Spain.

00:36:37:14 – 00:36:56:15
And like, you know, we, we've taken over here. It's, you know, you, you know, you know, when you just go to a place and it's kind of like I said to my family that I've been I've got a 900 day streak on Duolingo. I'm ready for this. I'm ready for this. Yeah. And they they come over to take your order.

00:36:56:16 – 00:37:14:05
Now I'm like, Hola. They're like, I know what you want, mate. And I'm not. You're talking to me in English. I'm not going to start speaking to you in Spanish. I'm. I know you know, you weren't there, I prepared myself. I just kept saying in my head, come on, you could do this. What can you can can you do in Spanish?

00:37:14:05 – 00:37:36:03
What could you have a hold a conversation with a Spanish person? I think I could work out what they're saying, and I could probably, cobble words together in an order which they would be able to better. Oh, he's asking where the fruit is or something like that. I'm not fluent, and I don't think you ever get fluent on Duolingo.

00:37:36:04 – 00:38:05:15
I think people that, think there's one person that's ever been got fluent from being on Duolingo. You just learn words. It's it's the it's the gamification of it that you, enjoy. Rather than, than when you're. When you're sort of just a drunk man outside my window, lying down on the front of the war memorial. He's talking to someone about the new,

00:38:05:17 – 00:38:29:20
Whether I say I, I think equal being, talking to people rather than, just fucking playing Duolingo, but probably would help anybody with help. Yeah. I don't think I'll, I do want to become fluent in Spanish, but I think I'd have to get a teacher and we'd have to be discussing stuff in Spanish all the time.

00:38:29:22 – 00:39:02:10
Yeah. What what, we had an email in from someone, and this was in our discussion last week. We've got two emails and about the, our tax chats. And the first one was, you know, the buying the rent in. My parents bought a house in 1992, in California for our family for $200,000. If you take a mortgage at 20% down, it was probably a 1 to 2 year salary for the down payment.

00:39:02:12 – 00:39:32:07
Fast forward 33 years later, the house is worth over $1 million. I can't come up with 200 to $250,000 for a down payment. It's meant to. That's why I. That's why I rent. Paying 15 to 20 5KA year is more sustainable than paying 200 K, and then 15 to 20 5KA year on mortgage repayments. Yeah, I mean I yeah, I mean it's fucking mad in here.

00:39:32:09 – 00:39:54:09
Absolutely. Right. Yeah I got charged like I know like when you take money out in when you're abroad and you get a little bit of a charge up. That's fair. You're fair game for that. I got charged €7. €7 for taking money out a cash point. Oh, fucking well. So you have to go to, a currency exchange.

00:39:54:09 – 00:40:18:23
Now. You can, if you take it out of a cash point, you get charged €7 every time. Well, yeah, I think it was just this bank. This bank was so. So the bank that I'm with, and I take it specifically when I go abroad, because when I tap and I pay, there's no, currency conversion fee, and they convert it at the closest possible at that time when you pay for something.

00:40:19:00 – 00:40:44:07
So it's it's a really good card to have. And when you go to a cash point, they don't charge you either. But it was the Spanish bank that were like, right, you fucking British bastards. I'll see your card. Okay. Yeah. Getting it. So was, €7. Yeah. So we had, we, had a second email as well from someone talking about council tax.

00:40:44:08 – 00:41:07:18
Now, we were going on about, you know, the James Buckley, rant. Yeah. From last week. All right, lads, as ever, bloody love the show. Well, thank you very much for that. There's like, I get to sit in the pub shooting the shit with you both every week. That being said, I do need to pull you up on a recent rant you both had about tax.

00:41:07:20 – 00:41:30:01
I've got a background in the public sector and get as frustrated as anyone about how rubbish it can be, even though I love it dearly. But when you and James Buckley started having a rant about council tax, I couldn't resist. Let you know it's nowhere near what you think and that we actually barely pay anything for what we get back from councils.

00:41:30:03 – 00:41:54:07
To start with. There's a massive difference between the tax you pay to the government and the tax you pay to the council. Councils have had it super tough recently. Over the past 15 years, they've seen the amount of money that they get from the government cut by 52% or more. Can you imagine running your house all business exactly as you did before if you lost half your income?

00:41:54:09 – 00:42:16:11
Also, the range of things they do is ridiculous. Value. I pay about two and a half grand a year and for that I get the roads where I live. Mostly looked after all of the parks, get the grass cut and hedges trimmed, the street lights work, rubbish get swept up, schools are kept open, busses are running, sewers are cleared, housing build gets approved, businesses get supported.

00:42:16:11 – 00:42:39:06
But, you know, there's a whole host of stuff that he's listed out here. And I get my bins emptied a couple of times a month. And that's barely a fraction of what councilors actually do. Nearly 60% of the council's money goes on social care, so that's helping out days get looked after. Supporting disabled people to live a good life, and helping families who have no money to live, and helping foster kids find homes.

00:42:39:11 – 00:43:00:13
I never saw that myself, but I'll happily pay for it anyway. The next time you think about councilors, ask yourself if you could find anyone willing to even just collect your bins for less than a few hundred quid a year, but you can't. Councils are bloody amazing and deserve more love than they get. Looking forward to the next show, boys.

00:43:00:15 – 00:43:26:01
I mean, it's fucking sounds like a woke nonsense to me, right? Yeah, yeah. And, Yeah, exactly. Well, I'm going to snowflakes name. I know it's none of my business. To be fair, I think he's probably right. And perhaps I think what James Buckley started banging on about was about garden waste removal, which is a council tax issue, and that's separate from other things.

00:43:26:01 – 00:43:50:19
But it it does, It we don't as human being separate council tax. We have income tax with corporation tax of VAT with inheritance tax it is all lumped in. It's whatever costs us money. And I appreciate we get return from that. And I'm not against taxation at all. I'm just against shitty decision making. But we should pay tax.

00:43:50:19 – 00:44:11:17
We live in an incredible part of the world, and that taxation helps everything run smoothly, as smoothly as possible. But it just feels like these fucking wankers just cannot get out the way of themselves. Yeah, and then everything is not really about functionalism. It's about politics. It's about who do you align with? Are you left wing? Are you right wing?

00:44:11:17 – 00:44:50:21
Are you reform? Are you, you know, left wing, ultra left wing, whatever it is, it should be about how do we make this country as functional as possible? But really it's about how do people emotionally connect to government. And it's a waste of time. And it's but sick of it. I don't want to hear it. Yeah. I don't want to be told I'm not me personally, but I don't think you should tell someone they're bad because they've the their, voting conservative if you're a bad person or if you vote labor, you're, you know, naive.

00:44:50:23 – 00:45:08:01
And that's what happens. It becomes like a battleground. And, you know, I what how do we get better at running the country? How do we make sure of services like, a run properly and trains arrive on time and people are waiting lists in the NHS come down instead of telling everyone you're fucking scumbag for voting the Tories.

00:45:08:01 – 00:45:41:08
I fuck off, fuck off. Yeah, fuck off. I think, the the James Buckley thing. I think it's just because the way it was framed. Yeah. It was well, for me, yeah. It was like your, your entity that you're now charging. It's like. Well, we were paying that anyway. Do you know what I mean? And I think for him and the way that came from is that it's the straw that broke the camel's back, because you'll get it everywhere you turn in a lot of the charges going up in this, that and the other.

00:45:41:10 – 00:46:05:06
But and I think that was the main kind of sticking point. It wasn't I don't think it was a particular dig at councils and that they're shit and they can't do their jobs and anything like that. The guy who sent in the message made a lot of good points, to be fair, and it's good to hear. Yeah, I mean, I was surprised that he says nearly 60% of council's money goes on social care a bit much is that I think yeah, I that's what I was thinking.

00:46:05:08 – 00:46:28:06
I mean, when I worked for, I worked for a charity, equal exposure. I've mentioned a couple of times and we were funded largely by. Yeah, a Youth Services and Haringey. Yeah. From having it almost like 80% funded by your services. By the time I left in 2014, it was not funded any in any way by the Youth service.

00:46:28:06 – 00:46:59:06
In fact, there was no youth service. The Tories fuck yeah. That's that's mental. Is I am going to I'm going to push forward. I just had a little warning on my computer saying, trying to connect to the internet. So I don't want to start fucking risking shit and fucking about. We are going to go on to and another thing and something on, you know, and in a short while the topic for next week again we don't have a topic.

00:46:59:08 – 00:47:20:24
I on holiday flab is had a mad week and is going to have another mad week next week. So it's just going to be these couple of weeks, a bit of a laid back pot shooting the shit, and then we'll get back to business when I'm back in England and carry on with the pod as normal. We've had a voice note for and another thing.

00:47:20:24 – 00:47:33:24
So it's going to be it's a bit of a change up. So let's get into it. I play the jingle, then the voice knows what we want. Yeah, yeah. Please, mate.

00:47:34:01 – 00:47:59:19
And another thing. And another saying yeah. Yeah. Great. Great moment. Now we'll sing. Oh yeah. Oh no learning other thing. Oh chill out like.

00:47:59:21 – 00:48:18:19
Hey, lads. So I've got another thing. Love the new, the new section, by the way. So the first thing that really pisses me off is when people who don't know anything about football, for example, suddenly make comment about, oh, you know, oh, you team's doing pretty shit. Like, it's like, when was the last time you watched a game?

00:48:18:19 – 00:48:41:14
I get up at like three in the morning to watch games. Don't go on about it. Just don't. And another thing, when they even were just like, pretend to care, I'm oh manages to pretend to care. And it's more insincere than I think. I'd rather go out on a fucking call about anything with it. I know they're trying to be nice and showing interest and everything, but like, it's it's so forth.

00:48:41:16 – 00:49:03:01
And another thing as well is loyalty. It's like you, you can't just switch clubs like you support a club no matter what. Throw answer. It's an Australian thing where people just switch clubs because new teams get made in that style and stuff like that. No, you you support the team. I try not to suffer the Spurs supporter for years.

00:49:03:03 – 00:49:22:07
Why should you just get to switch teams and other people do it? You know, the bandwagon supporters in the UK a little bit with the trophy glory hunters and not. But also another thing, just admit that you're doing that. Like don't be like, oh yeah, I've supported them since whenever like these Manchester City support if you want to support them when they've got the oil money.

00:49:22:09 – 00:49:45:01
I could go on, but I won't. All right. Cheers, lads. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, we. Yeah. And, whoever sent this, voice note in with you and another thing. And I'm perfect. Well done. That was good. Very good. Voice note. Very good. If you're listening to this and you want to submit something for another thing, take that.

00:49:45:02 – 00:50:06:16
That. That's a very good template. He's an excellent there. And people that don't understand football I get it. It's fine. But when I used to work in a, in an office and people trying to like they see the football was out and they try and talk to me about Tottenham's result at the weekend. They don't support Tottenham and they're trying to, you know, make that small talk.

00:50:06:18 – 00:50:27:13
It's nothing that makes me so irked about oh I see fucking what's his name? Van. Vince. Go down. Go. What's going on within then, mate? What do you mean what's going on? Why don't you shut up? You concentrate on your own thing. Oh, yeah? Why are you coming into my space and talking about my shit? I don't want to talk about football outside of the podcast.

00:50:27:13 – 00:50:52:08
Really? No. At all. And obviously, if someone beats you and they want to say hello and stuff, like I've been keeping spotted in my local Devizes. Really? Yeah. But the overlap is just watched by so many people. It's just come on. My I don't either like it really. But the anyway the it's fine, it's fine. But other like when you go if you're like a plumber.

00:50:52:10 – 00:51:15:20
Yeah. And you've done your day's work and you come out and someone wants to have a conversation about plumbers will get you around to fix their tap. Yeah. The last thing you want to do. Yeah, yeah. It's it's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I totally agree with that. Managers pretending to care as well I mean I suppose they have to, you know, say the stuff that you want to hear.

00:51:15:22 – 00:51:43:11
But again, that's not you know, I don't give a shit about what, what the managers say. What are you saying about low and picking different teams? I don't know if I'm this lad in the patron, and he supports a team called Vermont Green, and they've done a so I think they the like, I can't remember. It's like they're level two in the American soccer system.

00:51:43:13 – 00:52:00:12
So they're quite far down and they get like a crowd of 3000. But they won their I think they won their state championships and then the Eastern Conference and then the National Conference. They went on some mad fucking run, and they've done the law. So he's convinced me that Vermont Green is going to be my American team.

00:52:00:12 – 00:52:25:07
But then also with salt going to Lafc with Lloris, they're mostly taking like a bit of an interest with them as well. Yeah. But what you've seen them play play for ages. Yeah that's what you want to see more. So I think no I think the reversal of I'm always I've always been a Tottenham fan, loyal to Tottenham would never support any other team.

00:52:25:09 – 00:52:46:17
Now my eyes have been open to other teams in America. I'm not. Maybe I can have 2 or 3 teams in America. You know, it's not part of my culture. You know, soccer. I you know, there maybe I can I don't I, I don't know like you won't get into cricket but you want to take on another football team.

00:52:46:19 – 00:53:18:14
Mate, we went to the cricket last Thursday. How was it? Yeah, it was really good. India. When we smashed India for about 60% of the day. And then we stopped smashing and they saw smashing us, but we were in the block with a fucking drum and all the trumpets and instruments and which is fine, I guess when you're nervous and you can't, you got a drum next year and you're getting behind the Indians, and in the end they pulled us out and they won.

00:53:18:16 – 00:53:47:19
So, so. And it it was a draw, wasn't it. The whole. Yeah, we won two, they won two and we drew one game. Draw. No one wins after four months of cricket. Whatever. Three months of cricket. No one won. But it's all right because November the ashes starts that real good. November to January. Lovely. And then we've got a test versus New Zealand next summer.

00:53:47:19 – 00:54:08:13
So it will be, you got into that one. I think did the main thing. Did you enjoy the day out with your dad? Yes. And some of the other lads having a bit. Yeah, exactly. So you did have a good. You did have a good day. So that's good. That's the main thing. Like, did you get proper pissed up because you're drinking all day?

00:54:08:13 – 00:54:28:22
You know, we didn't really. We, we we went in, we had a first pint, a 10:45, and by about 3:00 with out about seven points and then, but it wasn't like it's almost a watered down beer. I think it was like football beer. And then, and then I had a vegan hot dog with chips and it filled me up so much I felt like I needed to get to sleep.

00:54:28:24 – 00:54:48:12
You had gravy. So I was starving. Ricky. I was like, I don't, I eat some dinner, you know, in the old days of taking bits if you want, then, you know, you just kept going till Friday morning. But these days things have changed. I'm old man with me. So it was good. It was good a really. I really enjoyed it.

00:54:48:14 – 00:55:16:00
Nice one. Right. We're going to go on to something only you know now. Why? Something, you know, snorkel boy. All right, lads, day one listener. First time I'm out of here. And a good something. Any, you know, story. I was about 14 to 15 years old in a family holiday to Spain with my parents and younger brother.

00:55:16:02 – 00:55:41:17
We hit the local beach a few times, and my dad would always point out the topless women to me and my brother. What a lad! This particular day there was so many Spanish babes around with their golden tans and massive titties out and me being a honed up teenager was trying my hardest to hide my erection. I decided I need to release the poison so grab my snow, go get and tell my parents I was going out for a swim.

00:55:41:19 – 00:56:17:24
Using the snorkel and mask to hide my boner, I set off towards the shore. The beach was part of a small U-shaped cove, so rocks on either side. I swam out quite far and they began to masturbate. I had my mask and snorkel on so I could see what I was doing and still brave underwater. I shut my load, which was kind of funny to see shoot at sea, shoot out underwater, and began swimming backwards furiously to avoid it touching me and not to have a walk back with mag plasma all over my shorts.

00:56:18:01 – 00:56:40:11
After I finished, I put my head up above the water to notice the tide had drifted me over to one side of the cove and to my horror, up on the rocky path, said a group of girls staring at me. I was it was still a good 20m or so more away, so I just put my head down and began to swim back, knowing they probably just watched me.

00:56:40:11 – 00:57:04:01
Tug went out even though I was a miner, so they are technically pros. I returned to the beach and my mum asked if I saw any fish, and I replied to some weird tadpole things and that is something only I know. Good, I love the I love the fact that he's He's cracked one off in the in the sea, but like, why put the mask and the snorkel on what?

00:57:04:01 – 00:57:19:21
You need to get under the water to see what's going on? I just stood up and just did it and just pretended like, you know, little mini strokes wouldn't need to proper submerge myself underwater. Fucking one.

00:57:19:23 – 00:57:45:15
Yeah, it is so, so easy. Water as well. No. Fucking. That is right. That's a great one. Thank you for sending that in. If you've got any more dilemmas, if you've got something and I know if you've got. And another thing, send it in to lads anon pod at gmail.com. And until then we will see you on Friday or Monday.

00:57:45:15 – 00:57:47:22
Depends if you're a patron or not, but everyone.