#12 | Growing old isn’t bad if you know about these things…

00:00:00:00 – 00:00:24:18
Hello and welcome to Lots Anonymous episode 12, a podcast where two best mates of over 20 years invite you to join their safe space, where all manner of subjects will be discussed. We'll focus on a specific subject matter first and then answer your questions, dilemmas or need for advice. All handled anonymously. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast.

00:00:24:20 – 00:00:50:02
How's it going, Clive? Really good. Really good. Really good. That's nice. Yeah. Well, no, I mean, it's I don't know, I said really good. It's fine. I would say six out of ten. Nothing to complain about. Really middling par. I'm on about par. You're everything. Dude. Six out of ten, is it? Yeah. You like you upset a few, listeners when you said Breaking Bad a six out of ten, did I?

00:00:50:04 – 00:01:14:17
Yeah. I need to grow up. Then. You've got to be some sort of to know what I know. People can like what they like. It's not up to me to destroy it. And I'm of. I'm on a similar sort of situation when someone criticizes something I like. Because if someone criticizes something you like, that's an attack. That's an attack on you and your your taste isn't good.

00:01:14:19 – 00:01:34:15
Yeah, but your taste, if you like. Breaking Bad isn't good. I don't think that six out of ten at most. And I'm being kind because I didn't want a backlash. I, I found that Walter White is one of the most unlikable characters I've ever, ever, ever, ever watched. You weren't rooting for him. I wasn't rooting for him.

00:01:34:17 – 00:01:54:19
Yeah, that's that's true. I found it quite, anxiety driven because there were, like, always nearly going to get caught, and then they didn't. And then it was it was intense. It was a shame. It's intense for very long. Yeah. This has got to end with someone just shooting him. And it just let's get this over and done with.

00:01:54:21 – 00:02:12:07
The problem is, is I didn't watch it at the beginning with everyone else. I watched it after all the hype, and I'm watching them go like, really? This is this. It? I often do that is it anyway. And I just let's not open this can of worms again. Ricky. No, no, no. How are you doing during half term?

00:02:12:09 – 00:02:40:07
I love half term. Do you? Yeah. Kids are 14 and 16. It's the. They just try. Yeah, they just do their own thing. You know, we talked about getting older in this part of only Rick. Yeah. But the having a two kids, young, you know, I'm a stepfather. I'm not proper father. Right? But, when they're young, they need you to do stuff for them all the time.

00:02:40:09 – 00:02:59:20
Otherwise they'll die. So you have to do the stuff because you don't want them to do anything bad to happen to them. They're like, if you don't cook for them, they'll starve to death. That's literally what happens to kids that don't have a parent look after them. So you have to do all the stuff, and you willingly do it because you want to see them happy and content and, you know, enjoying their life, right?

00:02:59:21 – 00:03:15:02
That's what you want with the kids. But when they get to 14 or 16, they're not interested in you. Really? Nice. Yeah. Free again. Rick. Yeah, exactly. You are free again. What do I do? What do I have to do for them other than provide heat, food in the fridge that they can graze on whenever they want?

00:03:15:06 – 00:03:37:11
Maybe cooking dinner every evening, which we do. Yeah. And take them back. Yeah. Yeah, apparently. Apparently they've never got any clothes. They're always got. I haven't got any clothes. So we have got these loads of clothes in your room. There's, I haven't got any clothes I want to wear. Right. Okay. That's the thing I see. That's the thing the for half term for me.

00:03:37:12 – 00:03:54:17
Yeah. I have to say it's, quite a because, my kids are knocking about, but, it cuts into my smoking time, but I only smoke, like, 2 or 3 times, and I can't go out. I have to keep making up excuses like, I can't hack the bins out. Well, again. Dad's. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, it's all go with the bloody food.

00:03:54:17 – 00:04:20:20
That means Jesus asked the key I have to get. Yeah, actually, saying that about the, smoking. I don't have to whisper now, so I don't know why I'm still whispering. Yeah. He said he's in Germany. They've, legalize cannabis. Yay! They've legalize cannabis. And when did that? And I saw a news article yesterday. They they're going to allow 25g per person.

00:04:20:20 – 00:04:45:12
Yeah. That's how much you're allowed to hold. How much is it? An eighth. Was I always 24 frames per lot in terms of weed? It's enough in it. Yeah. Like. Yeah I used to be. Well, used to be, 3.5 I think. 3.5g grams. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. And you were allowed to have three plants, for one person.

00:04:45:14 – 00:05:09:18
And on the 1st of July, they're going to be open in, like, cannabis crops. So it's not going to be like, you can go to shop in Amsterdam and cafe and stuff, but it's still going to be quite hard to get. But they're all going to be, avenues where you can get. And I just like Germany of quite, conservative country, and they can be fucking on the brim dogs in Spain.

00:05:09:18 – 00:05:33:13
You can do it. There's clubs. There's like cannabis clubs, is there? Right? Legally, yeah. If you're if you're a resident in Barcelona, they have them. Well, I certainly do. Yeah. Look it's time is it was pissing around with with prohibition all the time. It's there's no there's nothing to gain from not there's nothing like what is an only positive outcome if you legalize weed.

00:05:33:15 – 00:05:50:23
In fact, it's only a possible a positive outcome, really a net positive outcome. If you legalize all drugs keep them off the black market, regulate them, tax them. Yeah. How much money that can be made from people that just want to get high though. Going to get high anyway by the way. Yeah. It's just that you're we're not benefiting from it.

00:05:51:00 – 00:06:12:07
And you know, do you know, do you know why? Do you know why the Conservative Party and actually maybe some Labor Party wouldn't do it because they're worried about middle England voting them out because these middling let's think their kids are going to turn into drug addicts if we if we legalize and regulate it. Yeah. You kids are going to do it anyway.

00:06:12:09 – 00:06:32:13
They, Well, they love it, right? Yeah, I love it, I loved it. Do you know what? I didn't love getting in the back of some car on some bloke I didn't know and having to drive around the corner. No. Oh. Always sketchy. Yeah. And, wait, we are waiting for it to be dropped off. What's the worst, worst drug deal you've ever done?

00:06:32:18 – 00:06:58:20
Been involved in that. You know what? It wasn't, it wasn't a, drug deal, per se, but one of the worst. Situations I found myself in. I was on a school trip in LA Bryant, and, I picked up some some weed, and me and a college mate. We were looking round to try and find Rizla, but we couldn't find any Rizla.

00:06:58:22 – 00:07:18:05
We got to this petrol station. Some guy, in, like, a black Range Rover pulled up. We were chatting to him, and he wanted us to buy his hip hop album. Yeah, I've seen that. And, you know, you know, when you burn loads of them, you just trying to sell them. So we were like, right, we'll buy one if you can get some Rizla.

00:07:18:05 – 00:07:38:07
And we just thought he was just going to go in the shop. I don't know what we thought. Getting the car. We know what okay, get in the car. As we were getting in the car anything like that didn't know him. He said if you got any mark pens on, we're like, no. And he said, that's good because I don't want it on my leather seats.

00:07:38:10 – 00:08:01:06
Right. The door shut and he drove us like 15 minutes away. He got us the Rizla and he took us back to where we were from as well. Wow. I mean, but as a young adult, I was 18. Foreign country. Imagine your daughter I know, dying down the things we did. And this is like, again, this this comes into the whole episode, isn't it, about getting older?

00:08:01:08 – 00:08:27:04
Yeah. Things we did when we were kids. You'd never want your kids do it. It's insane. It's mad, it's insane. The situations we got ourselves in are bloody silly. Remember when we went to, Genoa to watch HBO's in Milan 2011? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Trying to find gear of these blokes. Spanish, Italian, blokes taking us around alleyways and with my brother and all that.

00:08:27:06 – 00:08:51:11
I'm not sure this is good. It cannot feel good. But we really, really want cocaine. So, you know, I'm just going to keep following this bloke down these alleyways, going. What what what is going to happen here? The geezer can't speak English. We're doing sign language. They may think, let's just rob these guys. We knew this, all of this, the risks involved.

00:08:51:13 – 00:09:09:01
But we did want some gang. So you just got to go and get it. Gang things I think January. So because it's like a port town, it's quite rough. Yeah. So it's like you really don't know. And it's like British guys as well. Everyone hates us, so I hate us. Let's. Let's just get a minute. Let's get them turn up.

00:09:09:03 – 00:09:31:23
So I, came through. That's good. It's always good when it comes through. Yeah. I've got some, bad nasty this week. I was, there was no pause. No pause. I'm not that bothered. Now, I know, you know, I know, but, when we did the power about the, endoscopy and we'll see either one colonoscopy. Yeah.

00:09:32:00 – 00:09:54:16
Someone actually, wrote in about their experience with the other one that we didn't put in the palace. I didn't know existed. The penile. Yeah. Cystoscopy. I think it's called. All right, so listen to this. Long story short, I had kidney stones absolutely riddled to the point where after an operation, I had a stent going from my kidney into my bladder.

00:09:54:18 – 00:10:16:09
Sure, it crossed my mind as to how they'd eventually get it out, but that was tomorrow's problem. The day came when I went back to the hospital to have it removed, but I quickly found out how it was done. Now I just want to say trigger warning for anyone listening. You might you could skip, but it's not that bad, to be honest.

00:10:16:11 – 00:10:36:01
They stripped me from a waist down and laid me on my back while the young male doctor proceeded to squirt lube down my dick. Co yep, squirt actual lube into my knob. So it's in there. It's in there. No, in there is in there. Is the tube in there now? He then pushed in a fucking camera down there.

00:10:36:03 – 00:10:59:12
A stiff fucking wire with a fucking camera on it. That's not enough, right? I'm actually in my cock and balls right now. Are you? As well as a camera? There were some pincers on the end of it so they could grab the stent from inside my bladder and fucking pull it through my dick. I'd like to say there's a link to this story, but sadly not.

00:10:59:14 – 00:11:22:00
He was pulling this thing out now, hanging about three inches out of my dick. He came to a sudden stop. He looked confused, then tugged it a bit, but nothing. He then started to pull quite, quite firmly and I add, I'm sure he put his foot on the table for leverage to pull it out. No I'm not. I'm not sure if that's true because that would be that.

00:11:22:00 – 00:11:49:06
Can you imagine someone's foot on a table trying to yank them out of your dick anyway, the stent had a kink in it and it was now stuck half in, half out. Of course, where it was half out. It was keeping my bladder open, rendering me completely incontinent, pissing my pissing my pants regularly. They quickly attached a massive pair of heavy metal pliers to it to stop it from going back inside.

00:11:49:08 – 00:12:10:05
Then they whacked me in an adult nappy, pumped me of sedatives, and sent the surgeons to get it out. Anyway. Probably far too long a story to share, but there aren't too many podcasts where where this subject will arise. You'd be surprised how much can be shoved into your dick stone. Start with just said sedatives. Start with the slaves.

00:12:10:06 – 00:12:30:07
Why why why why why are you waiting for this situation to give me sedatives? Let's start with that and then figure out what we got to do. Also, I had to say, look, I appreciate the stand has to come out fine the other way, you can put a man on the moon, right? If put a man on the moon, you can't figure out a way of getting this thing out of me.

00:12:30:09 – 00:12:49:07
Apart from going down my dick. Oh, the doctors are. Oh, keyhole surgery is the best thing since sliced bread. Use the keyhole surgery. And can you help me? I'm getting out of that. These accounts are to chop it up into little pieces and then get it out again. Oh, don't use keyhole. Just open me up. Don't go down my dick.

00:12:49:09 – 00:13:06:23
Don't go down with it. Yeah, just delete this then be right there. Right. Open orbit and be all right. Rick, I think this is a good time for you to retell your story about when you had your colonoscopy for the first time, because a couple people mentioned that and said they remember that being one of the greatest stories.

00:13:07:00 – 00:13:35:12
Because I took you to the hospital, didn't I? Yeah. You did. So when I was living in London and I would have been like 23, 24 or something like that, and, and, I had to have a colonoscopy. So when you didn't even need the colon escapee, you just had, like, you just convinced the doctors something wrong with you.

00:13:35:12 – 00:13:57:03
And there wasn't you had a wheat allergy or some shit like that. You probably didn't even need this experience. I didn't know I probably didn't know that because I didn't find anything. So, we've had a good rummage around in your also. Can't find anything. You're all good. Some. Yeah. So when I was wheeled onto the ward, they said, do you want a sedative?

00:13:57:03 – 00:14:18:24
And I was in that mindset of camera going up my bum. Now, I'm quite comfortable with my own sexuality. I'm not like, just if you've got to do it, just do it like that. That was. That was my thought process. So they will me in. And when I got into this room, there was other people there and they were all knocked out and I was like, this is a bit weird.

00:14:18:24 – 00:14:39:24
And before I'd even see a twink, would you got in everybody, all the ward, all the people that were waiting for a colonoscopy. All of them were asleep. Yeah, all of them like sedatives out of it. And, before the penny had even dropped, it was like they called my surname. Yeah. And they and I was first went on.

00:14:39:24 – 00:14:59:02
So I was like, fucking because you're the only one awake, right? Yeah. Let's go. Exactly. That's the one to go in there. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Get this over and done with. Out. I'll go. So then the doctor just explained to me what was going to happen, and he did the kind of, you know, bring your knees up to your chest.

00:14:59:04 – 00:15:18:13
I'm going to put some gel on my finger. I'm going to have an internal sweep with my finger. And then we're going to go through with it. And obviously you the thing that you want is to be gentle. And there was no gentleness about this. He just slid in straight up to the knuckle straight away. No easing in or anything like that.

00:15:18:13 – 00:15:39:01
Yet the Joe, the cold Joe straight in and he was. Are you ready now? I was like, how what position was he like in. Is it the fetal position. Yeah. Knees up to your chest a little brown off sticking out. Yeah. Yeah exactly. Just looking at and then it's well you could see him. They have a massive TV screen.

00:15:39:01 – 00:16:06:04
So when the camera's going in and around you are watching the inside of your body, which is crazy. And they did it for my endoscopy as well. Anyway, when the camera going in all fine. Took me for it. Absolutely fine. Then there was a bit where they said, right, we need to blow air into you because it opens up your like intestine and your colon so that we can see every crevice and stuff like that.

00:16:06:04 – 00:16:31:10
And I was like, right, go for it then. So as they started blowing air into it, like I could fit it inside me and it was like a dull stomachache that got worse and worse and worse, and it became unbearable. So much to the point I was gripping. You know, they have the, the metal sides of the frame of the bed.

00:16:31:12 – 00:17:00:10
I was gripping onto that, and I was just making this noise. And it it it was the pain was insane. And I looked at the nurse and I said, does everybody else make this noise? And they said, Ricky, everyone else is when they come in as unconscious and that's when I knew I'd made a massive mistake.

00:17:00:16 – 00:17:24:17
And then when they were taking the biopsies, you can see a claw coming out of this camera in like colon and intestines. You can feel it pinch you on the inside and pull it, and then you just see blood start trickling away. And they did like six, six of these going all the way through my bowel. And it was, mate, it was fucking intense.

00:17:24:19 – 00:17:43:01
And it was like, it was like it felt like for ages. Like I was there for ten minutes. It's gripping onto the bed. Least. Oh, my God, it's funny. Like, when you're in pain, you're you got. No, you're not worried about what people think of you because you just imagine it. They're just doing their job.

00:17:43:03 – 00:18:10:21
I mean, the under the these year and you're just suddenly in this surgery just holding onto metal. Go to a friend. Really and, hopefully they, they remember it and they, they still speak about it and said, you know, it's that time when, that geezer chose not to have sedation when in bed. Like no one gave you the information you needed.

00:18:10:21 – 00:18:34:02
Rick. Someone should have said to you there are two ways about it. I picked up about a few hours later during the day, and he told me that story in the drive over and then he crashed. I was crying a lot the same. Show we, jump onto today's topic. Yeah. Okay, so today's topic is getting out. What?

00:18:34:02 – 00:18:53:12
Why? Why did you not joining with me? I'm sorry. Sorry. I was reading something. I was waiting for you to start talking. Yeah, you'd run it? It was a bit ridiculous. You are discussed. Do it again. I forgot, right? Today's topic is getting out. You're doing it on purpose, together one more time. It was literally the same time.

00:18:53:16 – 00:19:23:16
No it wasn't. I tried my best for it right now. Dylan. Okay, today's topic is getting. Let's not forget it. That was better. That was bad. How is it that that was because it was at the same time. It was at the same time. And then he was gone. Can you remember a time in your life or situation when you were young and you thought they're old, and now you're at that age and you think, I'm old?

00:19:23:18 – 00:19:54:20
I actually wasn't that old. I'll, I'll, I'll start us off, when I was younger, so maybe 14, 15, possibly 16 at school. And the birds, you're knocking about with, sorry, women that you're knocking about with, There were guys in their nova saris and their souped up cars coming to meet them afterwards. Yeah. And I remember saying to this girl, how old are these people here?

00:19:54:24 – 00:20:18:00
She said they were 23. 23. I was like, fucking these geezers, man. They're 23 year olds picking up kids that that's a that's a different problem. Nancy. Yeah, he's been on school, kid. It's massively Nancy, man. It's. Yeah. That what? So they were like what? The girls were like 15, 16 getting picked. Yeah. It was much more common back then.

00:20:18:02 – 00:20:37:14
Mate. Huge. They won it. But that that was that wasn't that wasn't not Nancy. Nancy back then was old men preying on children. But now that close. Yeah. Yeah. You wouldn't get away with that now. You wouldn't be able to know why. Like there's the I would not be alarmed if a 24 year old was picking up my daughter and she's 16.

00:20:37:14 – 00:20:54:00
Like that wouldn't happen. It wouldn't. You wouldn't allow that to happen. I think we've become a lot more non-sensitive as we've gone, oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. That's right, I was right. Yeah. That's right. I was all over the place. Yeah. Like and you get confused with being a nonce, even if it's nothing to do with kids. Like if you just like planes, you're not.

00:20:54:06 – 00:21:20:05
Yeah. Okay. I get called a nonce for, like, having a probably an excessive interest in sharks, shotguns. So. Yeah. Like, I want to check sharks. That's that's what they're saying. But why are you sexually attracted to sharks? I'm not sexually attracted to them. I just being incredible like that. Ricky, this didn't I absorb shark content within five minutes, 5 to 10 minutes of waking up every day.

00:21:20:07 – 00:21:40:13
Did you really? Yeah. The algorithms that I've tricked into place just. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Good. And even if I've seen the video several times, I'll watch it again. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 15 seconds. More time. I've got time for a tiger shark video. Yeah. Tell you shark of, on that kayak call. Man, I've seen that like tiger shark.

00:21:40:13 – 00:22:08:04
Me shark. I seek mate sweet videos. Love sweet video. Lads, listen to this. Just Google on actually just on TikTok or whatever it might be. Shark stalk rams. Rams, canoe or kayak. Yeah, yeah. You're welcome. It's all I would say. Absolutely beautiful. Beautiful bit of video that. Yeah. Well, I was going to say so there was another time as well.

00:22:08:04 – 00:22:32:07
Right. This is just dawned on me and I think it's relevant. But when I had my first job and I was working in this warehouse, one of the funnest jobs I've ever had and I remember is if someone got a promotion or there is a job available, and I would have been maybe 16 to 18 around that time, and someone got the job.

00:22:32:09 – 00:23:01:02
The job was paying 28 K. Yeah. And I was like, oh my God, they are fucking caked. They are fucking K. What are they going to do with all that money? I could only dream of 28 smack around these. And thinking back to it now, Jesus Christ, like, I want you to, I want you to get a job in Gibson's fish market, you know, give us give us fruit and veg and add a fish market as well, which is was in the Nags Head.

00:23:01:02 – 00:23:25:08
In other words, anyone from North London would have gone past deposits. Right. And bang in the middle of the seven seas. Right. Especially if you're heading towards Spurs from Holloway where you would have gone past it. Right. And I had a mate it went to school with, and he got a job in there before he was 15, 16 and they paid him, I think it was 30 pounds to work on a Saturday and I was, I fucking 30 pounds.

00:23:25:08 – 00:23:46:17
How are you. Good. Do you, do you know what do you spend all your money on. How many computer games you buying. Any computer game you want. That's what I was thinking. Can I have a job in Gibbons? Apparently there wasn't an endless supply of jobs in Gibbons. Is. I only needed a couple of boys on a Saturday, but, can you imagine working in the fish fishmongers?

00:23:46:19 – 00:24:08:01
Still, yeah. The smell is just my, my must that that must get that. I, kept trying to get me a job in the fishmongers in Crouch End. Oh, I know that one. Another one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking stinks. If you can hold your breath. Some work, right? Eight hours a day coming home stinking of fish.

00:24:08:01 – 00:24:26:13
Father, I thought he was trying to get me a job as a father. That in my head, I. I find myself on my own job quickly. Oh, why is he going to make me go in the fucking fish, fish shopping craft end. So I managed to get a job in Woolworths. Listen to how that job ended on a on our on our podcast.

00:24:26:13 – 00:24:51:14
Was it about first jobs? It was it was maybe it was about side side hustles. Side hustle. Yeah. Yeah, I can listen to that. You'll find out how that job at Woolworths ended for me. Amazingly, Amazing story. I love the fact that that's the way I ended. Do you have, any to any times where when you were younger, you felt like, fuck, that's a that ages old.

00:24:51:16 – 00:25:13:21
I used to look at my granddad a month until like when they were in, late 40s, 50s. They looked like they were in their 80s. I they looked so old. My nan looks at my nan, as always. Look decrepit, you know, not quite the wrong word, I thought, because he's dead now and she's like, God rest her soul.

00:25:13:23 – 00:25:34:02
But she she's always looked like she was my old nan, even when she wasn't. And this is the kind of change in the way my dad does it to me now. I look at my dad, he looks nothing like his dad did it his age. Yeah. And so. Yeah. Yeah. So there is, there is that there was that for sure.

00:25:34:04 – 00:25:52:14
What do you not what I mean not we're both. Would you say we're middle aged. We are middle aged. Me yeah. We are technically we are middle aged. I mean, if I, I hope I get to 80, I want to live as long as possible. I'm not sure if I. I've led the right lifestyle up to this point.

00:25:52:16 – 00:26:14:24
That means I'll will end up 80. But I really hope so because I want to. Why not live? It's almost that. Yeah. But yes, course we're right in the with bang in the middle of a life. Yeah. Middle aged. I don't feel malaise. What age now? Do you, do you consider out like because I'm now middle aged, I see my mum.

00:26:15:01 – 00:26:35:05
She's like 65. Yeah. But she still she's still on about the place. You still get an A business done and I don't feel like that's old anymore. But when I was younger, if someone's at 65, I'd have been like, fuck, you know what it is, Rick? It's because that generation above us, the boomer generation, fucking had everything.

00:26:35:07 – 00:27:06:00
They've had the easiest life, easy compared to us. They've had a cinch. Like, I don't know, we've got some seniors listening to the pod. If I'm incorrect, you tell me. But your generation, none as ever in the history of man, kind of ever had it as easy as you look. And all children are fucked. Yeah, we're fucked, but less than the kids are parents.

00:27:06:00 – 00:27:31:09
I don't want to get them moaning. Even my dad, right. Just about everything, even he goes. Yeah, it was quite easy to be fair. And I talked about this on this, but I'm not I don't know the other part, but I don't have to say this again. No world war, no war, no war. Oh, really? Yeah. In America you'd say Vietnam, but certainly in the UK, no conflict of any kind of significance in their entire lives.

00:27:31:11 – 00:27:54:00
They came out of that within in after the war with this new sort of free love, Summer of love. Let's forget about all that war shit. That was horrible. Let's actually create a kinder society to live in. So not only live for the swinging 60s and the sexy 70s. Yeah, all in high and fucking each other. That's all right.

00:27:54:02 – 00:28:22:14
That's literally all they did, Vic. Brilliant. There was no work done. It was just smoking JS having sex. That's what happened in the 60s and 70s. Great music coming out, but everyone being creative and having loads of sex. Right. You love. Oh yeah. Right. Right above my straight. You love it right? And, and then they're like, all right, we've done shagging.

00:28:22:14 – 00:28:43:12
We've had enough of all. That's all the sex. Because like, I can didn't know about Aids. But then the Aids got them right. I scary for him. Don't get me wrong, they had to contend with that, as it turned out, weren't quite as bad as everyone as the TV commercials made it look. But there was a time during the 80s where everyone was scared that Aids, let's give him that will give them that.

00:28:43:14 – 00:29:02:20
But then they were like, well, we want to settle down now. So you buy a house? Yeah, you can have this 110 grand for four bedroom terraced house in isn't. Yeah. Ten grand. You sure? Yeah, yeah. Ten grand. Yeah. Fucking fast forward 25 years. What's it worth now? 1.1 million. Oh billion. Can we can we buy it. No.

00:29:02:22 – 00:29:31:02
We might. Oh wages. And never get into a situation where we can buy that house. So they had everything. Rick. They have it. We did it. Oh. I'm not I'm sorry. I'm not feeling sorry for them. Very sorry. From. Oh what. There's nothing. They've had it all. They've had they've had every opportunity. Every opportunity with old age, middle age for us the, the physical side of things.

00:29:31:04 – 00:29:55:03
Is there anything that you're I don't I don't want to be like, tell you what, tell me all the things that you're worried about physically, and you'll be like, what I'll say fit for me. One of the most painful experiences I've had in my life, which I never thought. I just don't think about. Because you're young.

00:29:55:05 – 00:30:15:14
You don't fucking think about these things. It's losing my hair. And weirdly. Yeah, like you, I never thought about it. And, Now someone call me boy. They are fucking like big, big world. Like it doesn't matter. Like. But then when I was in my.

00:30:15:16 – 00:30:33:07
Higher 20s, early 30s and I was going out drinking and people would make remarks and I just thought, oh, it's just a bit of banter. But then the remarks get more and more and you're like, fuck am I? Am I actually need in my head, I'm going to keep hold of this for a bit longer because I'm not 30.

00:30:33:07 – 00:30:54:15
I like, how many, how many people do you say 30. And then at the age of 30, I think it was I let go and I got a skin it it was. And honestly, Ricky, I can't tell you how disgusting your hair was. I, I appreciate you. You said it was painful, but it was pain. Yeah.

00:30:54:15 – 00:31:17:10
I mean, I hate to hang around it, and I'm like, stop going to that fucking shitty little hairdressers on Western talking cards. And, yeah, showing them a picture, Noel Gallagher and then coming out with that er cock it was I wish you, I wish you would have left out the Noel Gallagher part but that is true. Oh yes, I used to, I used to go in of a collage of pictures of Noel Gallagher.

00:31:17:10 – 00:31:41:03
I didn't have the substance on top of your head in order to achieve it. Rick. Look, mate, it looked. It looked all right. But towards the end, it it was it was a struggle. It made me feel sick. Actually. Rick did I, did I help or hurt that process? Was I was it painful because I, I'm sure I would have been one of the persons people that said, Ricky, go get your fucking cigaret.

00:31:41:08 – 00:32:01:22
I think he did. But when you hear that, you're kind of you're in that you're in the thick of it, then you can't see the wood for the trees, you can't see the hair for the scalp like it's fucking. You are just denial. Using denial about it. Yeah. Massively. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People make people make remarks. I said, oh, lots of you putting on a bit of weight right?

00:32:02:03 – 00:32:23:08
And you don't go. I didn't say that. You said fuck you. Yeah, exactly. But you know, I mean, sometimes you just brush it off, you just get in bands. Yeah, that's all it is. But then the laughter stops when you realize everyone is saying it. You're not. Fuck, this is. This isn't just banter anymore. Yeah. This is, this is real.

00:32:23:10 – 00:32:46:06
It's come on top. Yeah. I mean, I wish it come on top up there. But fucking didn't let you look better without hair. Your little bald head is at the light. I have, accepted it. I know I've accepted it. I've been told this is. My missus tells me. She says because she's being nice, but. No, she says she prefers it with with the skin, but because what it was before was a monstrosity.

00:32:46:06 – 00:33:06:09
You couldn't carry on like that, right? Cuz. You look like you was in denial. And the thing is, is everyone can see it and I'm not. Don't get me wrong. I'm, I'm I'm okay. But it's come in. It's definitely come in. And at some point I'm going to have to, my self-esteem will be impacted by whether or not I have hair for sure.

00:33:06:09 – 00:33:33:15
I think. And so I have to accept it. I'm not. I have a comb over it. What it will say, okay with your is your physical kind of thing about, you know, you're getting out your hair. No, I just aches and pains and. Yeah. My leg. Yeah. I would say, I would say physically there's an issue. Obviously you have sort of health, health anxieties like everyone else our age.

00:33:33:17 – 00:33:58:21
There's so much I want to do and I want to be fit and healthy for it. But then I also like having a drink and a smoke, which you know, is not good. But yeah. No, it's like it's. Yeah, it's like my I can film a creek a little bit now. Yeah. And I want to get back to the gym, but scared of it now because of how scared of it?

00:33:58:21 – 00:34:17:19
Because the just. Oh, man. Just the effort and the. And the pain I'm going to be in and how long it's going to take to get my fitness up. But I have to do it. But, you know, I've got a fucking hernia. I've got two hernias, young person, I've fucking two hernias. I that's one that was the first sign round for I'll fuck.

00:34:17:19 – 00:34:36:09
I'm getting I'm starting to get old now. I don't, I a hernia of inguinal hernia. It is I think it's called I remember. Yeah. Right. And I was like, fuck. I'm going to have to get that saw it. Because you look down at your cock and on your right hand side of it is a lump a god.

00:34:36:09 – 00:34:53:18
Yes. And then they saw it with keyhole surgery. The recovery from it, mate. It was so uncomfortable. Was this the one where you had the, they put a, like, a metal mesh? Yeah, they often do. That said, they'll put a mesh and somehow connect it to the intestine, because what it is, is it's your intestine. No, no.

00:34:53:20 – 00:35:11:19
Yes. It's your intestine breaking through the muscle wall and that. Yeah, that's what it is. So the weakness in a muscle sort of a mesh over that area of the, of the, muscle. And then it just the intestine goes back where it should. Right, right. So it's all done and dusted and I like, like I said, a week of intense pain.

00:35:11:19 – 00:35:39:11
I couldn't even stand upright for about four days. It was that bad. I was just curled up on the sofa and then all good for about six months a year, and I'm cooking breakfast. And I literally do this right. That's it. Just a little, little cough, a little cough, like that fucking thing on I could fit. I felt it just got out again.

00:35:39:13 – 00:35:58:18
I popped out again. I haven't, I haven't done so excuse me. That happened about six years ago. What? It's done well. And if you don't touch it, fucking fucking leave him. I sent over a memo pouring it. We just co-exist now. Yeah. We we just. This is what we. This is what we do. This is how I live my life now.

00:35:58:20 – 00:36:21:18
Because I'm getting old. Rick. Yeah. There's always a risk of a hernia coming back. It doesn't always work. But I did go to my doctor, and I went like this. I think this is like mid lockdown. That was lockdown. And then it opened up again. I went to the doctor and I've got this hernia. And she said, basically, we're not gonna do anything about it until it gets worse.

00:36:21:20 – 00:36:40:13
So this one you can go this is like a proper old man thing, and this happens to my dad as well. Tony descends into the bollock. No. Yeah, well, not so well. They're gonna wait for that to happen. They're not just gonna. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not. I don't write this plan. To be honest. I don't want to wait for this fucking.

00:36:40:15 – 00:37:01:10
I don't want to wait for his honey to send my bollock and go right now. Please, ladies and gents, this sounds like the worst plan I've ever heard. It's terrible plan. It's the NHS plan, though. And for things to see what happens. I think because of the amount of time, the, you know, surgery and the waiting lists and stuff, they're just like, it's not a priority now.

00:37:01:10 – 00:37:32:04
Whereas previously I did get it sorted, although maybe you just got bad advice from this one junior doctor. I think I think you should go by it. You know what? Pay rise. I really get a pay rise, though. There were two. I know there are two doctors. Yeah. Correct me if I'm wrong that they listen to the podcast and they have sent in emails to say, of to reply about discussions we've had about, you know, sexual diseases and stuff like that that we've mentioned in the past.

00:37:32:04 – 00:37:58:12
And if we want to do anything more to come and talk to them and stuff, which is amazing. So if you are listening, is that I've been told is is that a good plan? Like, should we just leave it until it goes into his bollock? Yeah. Then I would just we'll leave that out there. I will say, like when you're saying about hernia leaning over and stretching and all that, like, do you ever catch yourself when you make it, make a little noise when you have to lean over and get the remote control?

00:37:58:14 – 00:38:23:07
That's when you know you're getting out. Oh, I can't go. Just to get I'm making it. I'm making colonoscopy noises just to get, Yeah, yeah. So my trainers are sitting down. Sitting down or bending over. You just do make a little, Yeah, but what about what, what about the mental work? I mean, you like that?

00:38:23:07 – 00:38:52:14
I was literally just about to say we share something in common with memory in old age. I think I was just slightly different. I don't remember anything. I mean, I don't know if it's different, but I don't remember anything about my childhood. Maybe up until like eight or something like that. But also my short term memory of what people have said is pretty shit now as well.

00:38:52:20 – 00:39:09:05
I used to be brilliant. My memory used to be amazing to remember when I kids and that that that game where you'd have a tea towel and a tray and different items on the tea towel, and you were allowed to look at the tray for 30s and they know you have to, you have to list off everything was on the Tito.

00:39:09:07 – 00:39:29:24
Now, I've never done that. It sounds fun right there. Anytime you got you got some items, you got teatown you got a try? Yeah. Me, me I was always shit it though, that some people have a photographic memory. And they can, they can. But you've also got that thing with your memory where you can't visualize. What's that? Oh, fuck.

00:39:29:24 – 00:39:44:23
I don't know why this rattles so many people. I get fucking I'm not right, I don't get. So I'm just asking. I know, I'm just saying, what I'm saying now that I'm talking about it, people listen to you. That's not true, you fucking idiot. I'm just telling you what is a reality for me, right? If you don't want to believe it, then don't.

00:39:44:24 – 00:40:07:23
I don't care, right? But, I have this condition, and it's much more common than you think. I can't remember the name of it. Google it while I'm speaking. Right. Yeah. So there's this specific name of when you can't create images in your head. I can't when I'm if I, if you ask me to think of an apple, I can't conjure the image of an apple in my head.

00:40:07:23 – 00:40:30:15
In fact, I can't conjure any image at all. Fantasia. That's it. Fantasia I can't I can't create any kind of image. And when I can't bring memories back and see them in my brain, I can't. There's nothing there. It's just black. It's just. There's nothing. I can't do it. It's due to old age. Or is that always been the case?

00:40:30:15 – 00:40:45:13
It's always been the case. It's always suppose born this way and there's some people that can do it and some people that can you. If you. If I say to you now, Rick, you have, you an apple in your head, what do you see. Do you see that and say, yeah, it's green. Yeah. Can you turn it around?

00:40:45:15 – 00:41:06:19
I'm going to put a leaf on it. Yeah. Oh yeah. It turned it round. Yep. So you can physically see this in your mind's eye. You can see an icon. It's just black. If you say to me conjure up Harry Kane's goal. Yeah. Against Arsenal where he ripped his mask off. Yeah. See it. Yeah. Right. Oh great. Go for.

00:41:06:21 – 00:41:24:24
I can't see anything I can't I know it happened. I know what happened. I know he got the ball on the left hand side. He carried it and called it in. And then he ran off en route. I know that happened. I just can't see anything. I can articulate what happened. I just can't see it in my brain.

00:41:24:24 – 00:41:50:15
And that that's that's what like that's that's after you rallied. After you explain that, I think you're lying and you're just trying to get attention and it's that's that's ridiculous. 42 years old, middle aged. When I create a condition now the isn't doing for attention, get all of the attention I need for the podcast. Let lots of people listen to it on this one.

00:41:50:15 – 00:42:09:24
Now what more? Why would I now I need an illness like a mental condition. Let's get more attention. It's nonsense. That's the reactionary people can. You're talking bullshit, mate, is. What is this? What is how? I'd much rather be able to see stuff. That's why you can have minds. I can't have minds I can't see. Oh, yeah. So easily.

00:42:10:01 – 00:42:32:14
So anytime you can imagine any sexual scenario and see it in your head. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, yeah. That money. That must be a dream. Oh, it is a dream a is a dream. And in that case is memory. It's good and it knows. I think that's maybe what my brain is like. You know, if my missus tells me, we've got an appointment at the school next Tuesday at 630, my brain's like, this is rubbish.

00:42:32:14 – 00:42:51:19
Get rid of it, you say? I won't remember it. Then if there's a if there's an opportunity for a mind day. Is that bank this one call memory. Do not. Do not forget this. Rick. But this is what I've got. Rick. Yeah. And it's like they say. But you need this. You need this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Gone.

00:42:51:21 – 00:43:11:23
No, it's just going to move the conversation onto I was it's well actually look at us. We're just so like, we're just there's something I want to say. I get it. So, like, we're talking about old age. We're talking about your nan as well. Who I remembered fondly. Yes. Your old man. You as, your little,

00:43:12:00 – 00:43:31:00
Is that your little brown mate at the door? Right. Oh, he's names. He's a name, then. Yeah. You know what I mean. No. You little brown mate. You go now, you little brown me, I was like that. Technically, I'm not sure how to combat this because she. You I mean, at the time was my only brown friend. Yeah.

00:43:31:02 – 00:44:02:04
And compared to my size, you are literally me. So. Correct. Yeah. I'm not sure she's being racist. If she was 100% factually correct about the whole situation. No, I did not. You feel like you didn't like unnecessary. They could have just said Ricky, but yeah, just remember my name. Not just a description, but like that brings me on to my next point about old age and about things that are PC now, things that aren't PC.

00:44:02:06 – 00:44:28:23
What we've grown up with, with old age and what is, you know, like you were saying earlier that the, the age of your parents had an easy eye for us in our 40s when we grew up. It was okay to do x, y, z, and it was fine. You know, casual racism. Yeah, that's a lot. That happened a lot.

00:44:28:23 – 00:44:58:11
But I'm glad they span that when it's not gone. I'm not. We're moving away from that. Yeah. We're not we're not glorifying it. Oh there was some bad stuff. But I do think all, all the people that we've grown into now as we've grown older was a consequence of a harsher society. Now, I'm not speaking for you because as someone who's, looked different from the vast majority of people that you hung around with and the difficulties that you would have gone through, I can't speak for that, obviously.

00:44:58:14 – 00:45:25:20
Yeah, I can speak for a unforgiving environment where you didn't get a medal for taking part. Yes. There was no such thing as it's it's the taking part. This account counts even when or you lose. Or if you're really rubbish, you're given most improved player. But I kind of like I just, I will go back to the point as well.

00:45:25:20 – 00:45:44:16
But the most improved player part you need to win your neck in digging that bit out. I'm not digging out because that's that's the only thing that I ever won, though, Ricky. So I'm not thinking that I don't take don't take that away from me. I'm not going to belittle football that I played and got Most Improved Player twice.

00:45:44:18 – 00:46:05:14
You know, it's it's one of those things I hold dear to me. But going back to your point, when I made up my brother in law, he coaches their football team, I don't know their ages, which is a bit bad. So I'm going to say between 7 and 8. And he says to me at the right result at the weekend, we won.

00:46:05:16 – 00:46:24:20
Oh yeah. What was the score? Technically we don't keep count on the scores because they're in this age range and I'm not you. But how do you know if you've won? Like, yeah, yes. It's in my mind that we, we you know, we keep we keep keep the score there. So you're not allowed to in these younger games.

00:46:24:20 – 00:46:48:09
You're not it's not the focus isn't on goal scored or winning. The match is taking part. And it's so this is this is the kind of the the shift what I'm talking about. Yeah. We've just got this is an I appreciate I'm sounding well gammon and old now. But if you take the competitive element a bit away from sport specifically football innocence we're talking about you.

00:46:48:11 – 00:47:08:15
You might as well not do it. You might as just go for a run. The whole point of it is whether you're winning or losing. If you didn't win, you work harder, you get better, you train more. It's. But in this instance, it's just like, I know you took part. There you go. Well done. Fucking well done. Well, you still when we were kids, Rick.

00:47:08:17 – 00:47:26:07
Yeah, we would create games for ourselves, right? We'd go down the park with a football and now we're going to win. Thanks for taking part. Thanks. And turn it up. Maybe. Okay. Turn up on time. We're not taking part. It's all about winning or losing. And if you don't, if you don't win, if you don't win, what? What can I do to get better?

00:47:26:07 – 00:47:43:09
We're I'm going to train more. I'm going to. I'm going to run. I'm going to what I used to do. My dad used to say to me, you get a football, you kick it as hard as you can. A tree. All right. Then wherever that ball goes, you run as fast as you can to that ball. With one touch, you hit the tree again.

00:47:43:11 – 00:47:59:19
Oh my God, it was fucking well other Mr. Tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. That that sounds really stupid type I. But eventually you get better and eventually you hit the tree every time and and whatever. Right. But if he didn't win, don't worry about getting better. Just you. At least you're taking part and having fun. It's nonsense. It does.

00:47:59:22 – 00:48:24:01
It doesn't create the right constitution, in my opinion. And I appreciate like I'm not saying scream at the kids seven eight year old kids, no fucking better be better or any like that. But to not have a score to me is nonsense. And they're going to grow up less resilient than they should. And when life happens in their lives, they're not going to have the tools.

00:48:24:03 – 00:48:49:12
The less they're going to have less tools at their disposal in order to deal with these things, because they keep being given taken part medals. It's it's, you're taking away the opportunity for growth. If, if, when they are failing, you know, they've lost the game or what. And it's that it's that feeding that will spur them on that spurs the next generation of great footballers or whatever.

00:48:49:12 – 00:49:08:03
I remember I mean, not comparing myself to a footballer when I was a kid in the summer, three days in a row, I was Cubs, the champion. Right. You have a play. Cubs say, you know, with the blue and get right on the corner and get it. You have a great fucking. Yeah, absolutely matching. We weren't keeping count.

00:49:08:04 – 00:49:29:18
I wouldn't have the three time champion then you know I mean I'm 41. I still remember that bloody glorious day that was. Yeah. There's nothing like my, my brother's, my brother's son. He like, one of the most competitive kids I've ever met in my life. Like, everything has to be a game. That has to be a winner and everything.

00:49:29:20 – 00:49:53:01
If there isn't a competition, which I. Adam, he's talking about, kind of cute. Boy, Bobby is like. It's funny, because what we went we went to, we went to we hired this this big villa in England somewhere in the north in Lincolnshire. And this, Bob was about having to go to bed, but we thought what you wanted to do was have just one ball.

00:49:53:01 – 00:50:13:06
We had this, like, indoor cricket set. We had one ball right? And then they would go to bed an hour later, we'd set up the biggest, most fantastic game of cricket, indoor cricket that you'd ever seen. We were smashing it, keeping score. Everyone was invested in it. It wasn't, cricket anymore. Was like, oh, he's he's he's your best year, right Bobby.

00:50:13:06 – 00:50:39:10
Bless you. Neves. It was like, it's me, it's me. I'm the best. And that mentality will see him succeed in sport where that environment doesn't exist for other kids. The probably the the tubeless. Yeah. You just need to ignore these. There needs to be something at stake for Bobby in order to, to, to get the most maximum amount of enjoyment out of a sporting scenario.

00:50:39:12 – 00:51:01:23
And I don't think it's, for want of a better word, it's it's gammon to be like. No, you should be keeping score. You should be, like, wanting to do that, not remove a competitive edge. I just want to go to, one last thing before we before we move on to the dilemmas and something I know, you know, I want to talk about pubs quickly as well.

00:51:02:00 – 00:51:20:08
Oh, no. Yeah, I mean, no, let's just snap a quick one. Yeah. And then, you know, what's great about our generation is that we used to go to the pub a lot. Yeah. I'll still love going to the pub now, but it's, it's very different isn't it. But you remember when you were a kid, Rick is. Do you understood social boundaries from the pub?

00:51:20:09 – 00:51:40:21
Yeah. You learned so much. If I say too much, someone is going to give me a clump. Yeah. And sometimes it happened, right? You got. You got to trap. You spoke to the wrong person the wrong way. And the result was got biting. You got to take. Yeah, yeah. And then eventually you start to go. Actually, I can read the room here.

00:51:40:21 – 00:52:01:18
I understand social normality. I know how to behave with people. I know what people I need to give a wide berth. And I know in what group I can feel comfortable. And you learn so much about society and the way to behave inside a pub. Kids not going to pubs anymore. So what are they stopping each other? Get them in the pub, get them all in the pub.

00:52:01:20 – 00:52:19:06
That's, you know, the darts player Luke Littler. Yeah. He loves it. Look at him. You know, he went to school with that. Just used to take him to the pub all the time. Look at him now. Yeah, I mean, it's really, well, the same body. I know you shouldn't body shame anymore, but in same body shape for someone his age.

00:52:19:08 – 00:52:39:07
Yeah, yeah, well, he. He said that every time he wins a game, he celebrates with a bob. So that might. Well, he wins all the time then he. Exactly. He's having a lot of kebabs so that mine would look. Would Luke Littler have achieved what he has done if they weren't keeping score? Not that. I mean that'd be a terrible game.

00:52:39:07 – 00:53:07:17
It was like they split. But but that's the point is they would rather save a kid being disappointed because they didn't win the game and and removed the fabric of competition. They think that's more important than, the excelling in and achieving. There's nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with being good at something and celebrating that. But it just mentioned, I mentioned at Bobby's that he went to a he went they went for a, I think it's a golf.

00:53:07:17 – 00:53:23:13
It was a inter-school, the cricket tournament. And at the end, none of the kids, the kids all seem to be winning or not. And they wouldn't tell them. They wouldn't tell these kids the trouble all the way there. They would not tell the kids whether or not it won. It was devastated, like it needed to know that he'd won.

00:53:23:14 – 00:53:49:15
They did win. He fucking smashed it. But, but it's not. It isn't fair because they're saving the feelings of the the whole to Bob they feel anyway, I fucking I'm not going to keep reiterating what I've been banging on about, but I just say ensure keep the score, tell them the score. Get kids in pubs. I'll show them.

00:53:49:17 – 00:54:17:14
So one of the to to to round this up, one of the last bits that we got an email in, I'll tell you I'll tell you how I know I'm getting old. I can't text anymore. I'm Cher a minute ago. Man's popping head shots and Call of Duty for fun. Playing pool like Ronnie O'Sullivan. One Christmas I threw a grape in the air and sliced it in half mid-flight with a carving knife, much to the amazement and rapturous applause of my family.

00:54:17:16 – 00:54:47:05
He still talk about it to this day. Now, I've made six typos in this email, and I'm constantly having to, check my spelling mistakes in WhatsApp to my friends. I'm 44 and this is terrifying now, so I have to say, there are times where I try to write something out on WhatsApp and WhatsApp that does the all I correct doesn't even recognize what I'm trying to say and it's embarrassing.

00:54:47:07 – 00:55:14:00
WhatsApp knows I've done this is looking at me to say mate, how of you have got that so badly wrong. Yeah, and old age misspelling grammar everything because the phones have taken it away. They they're doing the work for us. Yeah. There's a degradation of mental capability and it happens and you have to accept it. And it's a scary thing like or Alzheimer's and dementia.

00:55:14:01 – 00:55:40:06
I witnessed it firsthand. Right. I can I watch my nan descend into it, to the point where she didn't even know we were and would sort of. It's a sort of mental thing. The most mental thing you can see happen to now. There's plenty of terrible things I've told people. Right. But give them dementia and a water infection at the same time, and then just sit back and listen to the shit they say.

00:55:40:08 – 00:56:11:00
Mental. Yeah, that happened to my nan as well. Actually. It was she. She. Yeah. Exactly the same thing. It was, it was not really sad because she like. Yeah. The craziness that incoherent. Yeah. Joining us for infection was make them hallucinate on top of the dementia. Excuse me. Yeah. That's right. So we are going to go over to the dilemmas and something only you know, the dilemmas.

00:56:11:02 – 00:56:42:06
My hairy moment and pure mugged off. And something on, you know again. And you need to so we're going to, we're going to dive straight into that, before I, before I forget as well. And I'll keep going on, but yeah, download or download the pod so Rick can stop saying it all a download. That's exactly when someone said, I've actually done it.

00:56:42:08 – 00:57:12:11
What I downloaded, it was there's a couple of people and they are my favorite people. They're the favorite people in the audience. Set the pod to auto download Spotify, Apple Podcasts, hit the free dots, hit the cog, said it's a or a download and we will be eternally grateful. Now, this is the first dilemma. My hairy moment. Not a dilemma or something only I know, just my old age thoughts.

00:57:12:13 – 00:57:40:16
I hate getting old. I really hate it. Every morning I look in the mirror and I see more lines, wrinkles and receding hairline. I guess there is a dilemma. Do I accept the receding hairline as part of getting out and embrace it? Or do I get the hair transplant? Yeah. How is it that it's not really vain? Also, I now have to pluck has at least once a week out of my ears.

00:57:40:18 – 00:58:27:20
Where the fuck did they come from? Keep up the good work. Now that as well the the dilemma. Obviously hair transplant or letting it go and I and I've spoken about it but then also I just wanted to kind of I know this isn't this person's dilemma, but I'm going to fucking segue it in. Yeah. How do you feel about Botox and about the white teeth and the, this kind of in our society now it feels like, you know, it was kind of, The Only Way Is Essex made in Chelsea that it can look hair, white teeth, white eyes, this, you know, tattooed eyebrows that this kind of know.

00:58:27:22 – 00:58:47:18
Trying to try to hide escape agent. That's what they trying to do. They don't want to. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah. And no which I understand. What is your I think my opinion of it is I understand completely understand why someone want to do it. The turkey teeth I don't understand because they all look weird and mental. Like some of them look crazy.

00:58:47:18 – 00:59:07:01
Like the pearly whites. You just. You look nuts. But some of them do look good, but they're so straight, it's like everyone knows you just had your teeth done this. It's like, re you if you got your hair transplant done right, imagine if you did it, you went to Turkey, you had a proper a hair transplant or got one of them hair systems.

00:59:07:01 – 00:59:22:00
That's what it's called. Sirups. Now. It's what I call him wig. So a hair, is it really hair system? Yeah, but my the incredible way does it look? It looks like your own hair. And it's for wet hair. It last three months and then you go back and get it topped up, and you just got this incredible bonnet.

00:59:22:02 – 00:59:52:14
Yeah, I think I've seen those, but I don't know if I want that. I no, you couldn't do it because everyone's seen people that everyone knows everybody. You know and everybody you meet who knows you knows that you've got sirup on your head. But what about if you are receding and everyone knows, and then you go turkey and you get either the tattoos on your head or you have a hair transplant, you come back, you went there, you come back in a little bit more bronzed, and you got how you got a man bun.

00:59:52:14 – 01:00:17:03
Now what happened? Where did that come from? You cheating. You cheating? If it makes you happy and self-conscious. Sorry. More confident, then do it. Who cares? Man, do it for you. Do it for you. Yeah. I mean, but like when back when I was losing my hair. This wasn't really, a phenomenon like it is now or wasn't available.

01:00:17:05 – 01:00:40:22
Yeah, I don't think I still I for me is, it's always about cost. So I'd just be like, fuck that, just get it off. Many, many people are bald. It would be all right. But yeah, again, like you're saying, if if it if it makes you happier and makes you more content, makes you more confident, makes you feel better about yourself.

01:00:40:22 – 01:01:00:12
Yeah. It goes back to that happiness episode we did. Yeah, exactly. If you're not harming anyone, there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing something that makes you feel more content, more secure in yourself and the happier. Absolutely. Like you're talking about the money, Rick, I know it's important to you. Yeah, but if you have the money, that's the point.

01:01:00:18 – 01:01:23:07
That's the sole point of earning money. And having money is to make your life as content as it possibly can be. So if you're spending it on a wig or new hair, then do it, because that's the point of earning. Yeah. So I think it's like what my dad my dad goes, you don't oh look. So I'm trying to buy a house at the moment that isn't fucking cost.

01:01:23:09 – 01:01:42:24
So you do my DIY and I'm like, fucking right. You won't be seeing me, do they? You thought you finish your fucking house quick time, dad, you get your ass around wherever we buy, you fucking do it. But the point easier I'm making is why wouldn't I pay you? Needs to take a note of this rig. Right? Okay.

01:01:42:24 – 01:01:59:07
Why are you fixing your own washing machine when you can pay someone to do it? But you might. It might be that you're an anomaly. And it might be that you like fish and fixing washing machines. Do you? Yeah, I do, I enjoy the challenge. Okay, so that's not a great example. I don't want to challenge. I don't want to do it.

01:01:59:07 – 01:02:14:16
I don't even want to look at a broken washing machine. I'll pay some money though. Not. Do you know what if. What if I've got money, though? Why? I've got money. So don't do shit like that. Yeah, if I did have that, that disposable income and I wouldn't want to put it somewhere else, then I would pay for someone to do it.

01:02:14:16 – 01:02:32:23
I'd pay for someone to do everything if I had it. Yeah. But, yeah, in the case of, I would, and I had the money, found a safe place to do it, and it made me happy, made me more content, make me more comfortable in my own skin, then fucking go and get it. I wouldn't do it.

01:02:32:23 – 01:02:51:00
I want you to do it on hair system. I would love you to get a hair system. Yeah, I get can you imagine I did that? I you could do it for three months. If you don't like it, give the hair back. No. It's gone mate, the time is gone. I've been, like living my life 11 years. You know where?

01:02:51:02 – 01:03:15:23
Like we're at the next dilemma. Pure mugged off my telomerase. I plan to go away for four nights to Spain with my brother and a couple of other mates to celebrate my 40th birthday this July. I've been married for nearly five years now, and I have a 20 month old baby, so I haven't had much downtime in the last two years.

01:03:16:00 – 01:03:41:22
As you can imagine. I was looking, I was really looking forward to this trip. Unfortunately, over the last couple of weeks, my brother, who has an 18 month year old and wife, has dropped out. Then a week later, the other two so-called mates have also dropped out due to not wanting to use up too much of their holiday time and the cost of going.

01:03:42:00 – 01:04:09:06
Yeah, not not sure what to do now to mark this milestone birthday. And these fuckers have really let me down. Well, how old is he again? It's going to be his 40th. His 40th, and he's put this holiday. He did a fortnight in Spain with his brother and his two mates to go and celebrate, celebrate the 40th birthday.

01:04:09:06 – 01:04:30:00
And they all agreed? Yeah. All agreed. Brothers John Goodman and his two other mates have been. I actually don't have the, the annual leave, but. Well, I don't want to spend my annual leave on your 40th birthday, so he's not. No, no, no one's going anymore. Not a good look. It's a man's left, you know? There's no chance.

01:04:30:02 – 01:04:54:01
There's no chance. I wouldn't do this for my brothers. No, there's no way I'd. You know that alone. You know that. There's no. There's zero chance that I wouldn't be there at their for your birthday. Or yours? Rick. Like that, I would so that's that's not on. But we don't know. Is this guy a bit of a dickhead?

01:04:54:03 – 01:05:19:22
I'm just. I don't I don't know anything about him. He listens to the podcast. I he obviously is. It must be sound, must be sound, must be sound. I can understand why he's hurt. I really can I it's essentially not wanting to make me make the effort and, that that, you know, shows you something about the value of the relationship perhaps, I don't know, I think we know so little, but it's hard to give any comment.

01:05:19:22 – 01:05:45:04
But I understand and appreciate what you're upset. Really? Are they? Yeah, I it would be a massive gut punch. Like especially when you're looking forward to something and it's your birthday and then everyone pulls out and it's I will fucking what I'm going to what what could he do these for if birthday now then yeah bros just prove that, just to spite everyone.

01:05:45:05 – 01:06:06:07
Spite his wife, his new baby. Oh, he's got, he's got a wife and a new baby. Yeah, yeah. Don't do that. Bad advice. Look, he's he's he's hard. And it. Because you don't want to. Yeah, but, did you assume did you book it? Did you did you do book it all before asking them properly?

01:06:06:07 – 01:06:24:05
Because it is a commitment. You're asking people to move away from their jobs for four days and family and whatnot. Four nights is quite a lot like what? What did you do that didn't do to to to properly prepare for prepare these people for it? Did they agree? And everyone was buzzing. And then just pulled out like, I know, what can he do?

01:06:24:05 – 01:06:45:00
They wreck. And then I yeah, I mug. Yeah, four nights in Spain. I can see it is a little set of four nights off. We said a fortnight. Yeah. Four nights in Spain. Pinch in the pocket, do something a bit more. Like who? Do a weekend in England somewhere, if that's what you want to do now. Yeah, that's the thing.

01:06:45:05 – 01:07:16:22
Would you think they know you've poisoned my birthday, and now you want me to drink from the poisoned cup? Yeah. Celebrate on my own in the dark room. Thank you very much. Yeah. With bros. You wouldn't. You. You would never forget that, would you know I am? Hold on to that. One of the things that is, I'm quite steadfast on his loyalty, and I, I see that as a bit of loyalty.

01:07:16:22 – 01:07:41:07
If you if you didn't turn up or you didn't. Yeah. You still hold a grudge against your mum. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about? As soon as I said that. Yeah, there's a couple. She brought one up the other day. Actually, I wonder because we haven't. We haven't planned this discussion. No. I'm curious just by me saying you holding a grudge against your mum, whether or not you're thinking what I'm thinking.

01:07:41:07 – 01:08:07:04
That grudge might be about. Yeah, it might be. Right. Okay. Argue free. We'll both say to see what it is. Yeah. Okay. Okay. One, two. Three. Christmas. Some Christmas day. Let's think it was yesterday. Yes. She worked on Christmas Day like single parent. Well what was she doing right. What was I just she. Why are you why have you got to bring that into.

01:08:07:05 – 01:08:25:05
It's just it's just that she works, right? No, no, Rick, you you got to tell of what she did in her job. Otherwise, it's just you. She worked with disabled people, right? You needed help. You needed help. But, Ricky, you had a grudge. You mind holding a grudge to this day? Yeah, well, you should have spent it with me.

01:08:25:05 – 01:08:41:09
You my sister. Instead. She did spend half a day with us, but then she. You know. Yeah, it was with people that I'm way more needy than me and my sister. That still is an amazing thing. Day. Christmas day. Love it. It's a family. Yeah. He's going to pull the cracker with me. He's going to put my stupid light on.

01:08:41:09 – 01:08:58:11
He's going to do my roast dinner. No, I can understand as a kid you would be like, oh come on mum, I yeah, I understand it, but I remember when you telling me this and Ricky I was looking Rick I mean do you remember the conversation with him. 168168 and he was he was gone. No, my mum, because she used to just go out on Christmas Day for a work.

01:08:58:11 – 01:09:15:08
And I said, what did she do? Because as she help people in, like need like disabled people or whatever it might be, and as I say, that's a really good thing. And, you know. Yeah. No, no, but not on Christmas Day. And. Is that right? You on if you go to think about your reactions this way. It's funny but it still isn't time.

01:09:15:10 – 01:09:36:16
Yeah. See when I went around her as she actually, that that is maybe something I need to welcome back. Sorry you got out there. You went round the house and you said she brought that up. Yeah, I went round for Easter dinner. Yeah. And? And she mentioned that. And she does mention it quite often. Did you maybe is you please don't apologize to her.

01:09:36:18 – 01:09:51:13
Yeah. Yeah, actually, that's a good idea. And I will find a way and I'll, I'll do a little, little apology for, and and go back into it. You never guess what time it is. I think you should record. You should record your apology and see what she says, and we'll put it in. But that's never going to happen.

01:09:51:13 – 01:10:11:08
Why not? I might do, actually. Just to see what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe. Maybe. You know, I'm 41 years old and it's taken me to this point to realize I was the asshole. And then see what she says.

01:10:11:10 – 01:10:40:09
Go on then. Oh, well, I thought you didn't, you know, did that me? Like you were doing the thing. Time for something. Only you know, something. You know. We need to get better at that. That is just. Yeah. That's silly. That's rubbish. Right. First one. Armageddon. I was about 22, maybe 23. And the prime of my drinking and shagging career.

01:10:40:10 – 01:11:00:07
Yeah. I was at a pub with a few mates and one of them got the classic house party texts, so then made it on our and made it our mission to get to the house, which was in the middle of nowhere. Still no mean feat for a group of boozed up lads. We finally got to the house, which was fucking massive, honestly.

01:11:00:07 – 01:11:26:23
Like the gaff in the series, the gentleman there must have been 100 to 200 B boozed fueled young uns everywhere. There were literally people hanging out of the windows. Just utter madness. We instantly knew this was going to be a mental night. I started talking to this ten out of ten bird. Unbelievable. Jeff. I was 100% in. We ended up sneaking off to a room and having a steamy encounter on some.

01:11:27:00 – 01:11:49:06
After several more beers and other substances, the night became a hazy mess. Yeah, I woke up the next morning in a random room in the house. My head was a mess, face felt like it was hanging off, and to my delight, this bird was lying there next to me. I thought, what a winner. Ten out of ten bird class night ace.

01:11:49:07 – 01:12:12:13
She rode over. Sorry. She rolled over and said said morning. Got out of bed to go to the bathroom and I had to double take. I was looking at this ten out of ten and she had one. I swear she had two albums. Last night. She called back into bed and we had round two and lay there for a bit, chatting.

01:12:12:15 – 01:12:35:00
I then tackled the armed subject respectfully. Of course, it. She said he'd lost it in a car accident. She was being light hearted. So I returned by saying, I know I was off the rails last night, but I'm sure you had two arms. Her reply I will never forget. You're probably thinking of my twin sister. We both came to this party last night.

01:12:35:02 – 01:12:57:05
The penny then dropped down and broken. I'd gone through both of them. Gone, for fuck's sake. Gone through Jesus. I still see them regularly in local pubs. We always exchanged hellos, but to this day I seem neither of them know the full story. If they know the full story, the twin sisters, Jean Ritchie, think they would have had a chat.

01:12:57:05 – 01:13:20:23
Look, I'm 100% without a question. They just for us funny in it. That's funny that they they're going to be both attracted to a certain type because they're twins or imagine they have similar sort of things that titillate them. Right? Yeah. So naturally they're going to be attracted to, say, men. You assume in this instance. And then he's just been like, you know, big cocks, man.

01:13:20:23 – 01:13:45:20
It's gone through two of them in, in, in 1 in 1 evening. And they just happened to be twins, I liked it, I like to imagine the, the conversation unfolding, and it's like they're both back at their parents house. Sci fi. Well, I got lucky last night. Did you? I did too, yeah. Nice one. Who did you get?

01:13:45:22 – 01:14:08:17
Did you. Do you remember that tall blond guys? Oh. I, I had someone similar, actually. Yeah. His name was Barry. Barry Marvel almost called Barry, too. Yeah, that's what happened. That would have happened. What? What you said. What took up? Okay. What train is V is where? Night train. Oh my God, oh my God. Just we've just we've back the same man.

01:14:08:19 – 01:14:24:14
Yeah. Yeah. And they've been there right about. Oh. Do you think I've been closer. Have been all right babe. Wouldn't you have been all right about it? Twin shares. He shares these in it. Really? Yeah. Like if me if that happened to me and you on a night out, up, you're out of it. If you'd slept with both, slept with the same woman, right.

01:14:24:15 – 01:14:49:06
You and your family. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Right next door, a need to. So I would tell you a story from my uni days. The girlfriend was away on a weekend camping trip. Volunteering. So a night out with the lads was on the cards. I was getting text updates from the girlfriend that she was having a rough time with a dodgy tummy.

01:14:49:08 – 01:15:11:03
Felt sorry for her, but I was all right. So carried on with the plan. Many pints later. Went back to a course mate's flat with a boyfriend with the offer to have a join after smoking. The combination of the drink and weed had floored me for being their son. Yeah, I had this guy chatting to me nonstop and I was so out of it.

01:15:11:03 – 01:15:30:22
I couldn't speak. Then the need to take a shit arrived when I could tell it was going to be a bad one. I sat debating whether to go to the toilet, knowing the damage I would have done, and my inebriated state would not have been able to clean it up. So the best course of action was to get out and get home.

01:15:30:24 – 01:15:59:05
I refused the offer to wait for a taxi, both in the. I often make the 40 minute walk home from nights out. After being accosted out the flat, I took one step and I simply couldn't hold anymore. I darted round the corner into the garden and up against the wall, and furiously dragged my jeans down. The evacuation started before I could get the jeans down and I half shit myself and half into the gravel surrounding the building.

01:15:59:07 – 01:16:23:07
I made the long walk home, crossing the street. Any time people would be walking on the same path towards me as I feared, I would absolutely be stinking. I emptied what was remaining in my jeans in a bush near my flat, then straight home into a shower, fully clothed, stripping off and crawling into bed, leaving it to be dealt with in the morning.

01:16:23:07 – 01:16:41:13
I always wondered if what I left outside the course mates flat was discovered, and if anyone ever mentioned it at uni. Oh, it's not what I'm in it. What you see, that is a human poo. Oh, when you see a human poo out in the wild. Yeah. Something to be like. More like you're like, wow. How did that get there?

01:16:41:13 – 01:17:00:13
Well, what's the backstory to that? Yeah. Yeah, so I remember, I remember leaving work. I used to work in Muswell Hill, and there was like, this little alleyway. And on the right there was like a step. And it must have been like a brick square that ran along the side of the building. They probably where, like, you know, plumbing was or heating or whatever it was.

01:17:00:13 – 01:17:40:01
And there's just this brick sort of step that ran along the whole side. And on this step, it was one of the biggest poos I've ever seen. That's definitely human, you know? How did that get there? You've done that. Then. So, but it's like stories like that. So I happened, I mean, I everyone knows I've got a ton of those stories and when, when, when nature calls, I literally I, I'm in the same state as this gentleman was then like to get your jeans down and it's coming out instant and you live your life not not being like that before we started really had that experience before I, I don't understand why you can't

01:17:40:01 – 01:18:01:08
like you can't sort of regulate even somewhat before we started we were having a conversation regulate what goes in us. I but you you said that your whimpers are literally that take the same amount of time. Yeah. Like if you she said if he was going to toilet, he says maybe going toilet. You wouldn't know what I've done.

01:18:01:08 – 01:18:18:22
You just assumed we. Because it could have been it could have been poop. Yeah. And you'd never know because I'm in and out, mate. I don't like about. I don't like these people that sit on their phones or read a book on the toilet. I don't read it, but I I've I've been known to have a bit of a, the, the time difference between both of them.

01:18:18:24 – 01:18:41:22
You would know if I've, if I've gone if I imagine you were like 15, 20 minutes in. Not not that long. Say, it's a ten minute, ten minutes. And that just reminds me of, do you know, sometimes people have, like, explosive diarrhea regulate. Yeah, but so much so it goes out control and then you.

01:18:41:22 – 01:19:01:12
So you're spraying the room. You've ever heard of that that happening. Not not to you. It but it has happened. Right. Yeah. I'm like I don't believe that could ever happen to me. I don't know how you'd end up with fecal matter all over the walls and everything. Like it's just exploded out your ass. I'm going everywhere until I just.

01:19:01:12 – 01:19:23:21
The thought is a bit of a myth. Like it's something you might see it in fucking some sort of American teen movie or something like that. Yeah. Never. Not in real life. I went to Benidorm and, we took the kids for a week in Benidorm. Right? I mean, it's pretty cheap and stuff, and it's not the vibe you'd want to be in all the time, but for a week's holiday, kids love it.

01:19:24:01 – 01:19:45:01
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. You need everything you need. Yeah. Anyway, they were on the beach. There were these sort of portaloos that they'd put in so people didn't piss in anyway, though. It was quite scheme squeamish anyway. Like, she doesn't like stuff like that. All right. She's a young teenage girl. She was being about 13 at the time.

01:19:45:03 – 01:20:10:15
She likes things to be soft, warm. Yeah. Seen. Yeah. All right. So she needs to go for a wave or something like that. So the water to the, cubicles, she walked in and the noise she made the scream. Actually, she didn't make any noise. She went, what is a ghost? And she turned around to when someone's. I think she said, someone's done a bad poo in there.

01:20:10:17 – 01:20:31:07
I went and had a look because. Cos I have a look and yeah, there was shit everywhere and I had to say it how bad it is to me. Have a look. Mean. It was everywhere, all over the walls, all over the, all over the, the, the set, the sink. How was that happen? I don't know how we got to the point.

01:20:31:07 – 01:20:49:06
You're all down the hall, and then it all goes down there, I think. But this. I don't know whether you like, exploded as a person. Was is definitely a man and woman. But you're close like it's exploded. You're taking it down. Like I'd like to know out there any if anybody wants to send in their something, only you knows where you've had.

01:20:49:08 – 01:21:15:13
You've decorated a room. I figured I. You gonna. Oh, I was gonna fucking out. Well. Well, I why I didn't know it was. Now my other one. Actually, it did, something, you know.

01:21:15:15 – 01:21:39:06
Going back to, next week, I'll start again the next podcast. Oh, yeah. Do you know what we're doing? No idea. What is it we're going to be doing? Pranks, lads. Band. Fucking eight lads banter. Well, this is we're going to get into it. Yeah, because they may be thinking of things I don't understand already, like.

01:21:39:09 – 01:22:09:20
Yeah. All right, all right. That's good. There's, there's a, I mean, just to, just to light the fuze, there's a lot of, common kind of phrases. White people, white people jokes. Yeah, yeah. And that and in that realm. Yeah. Rugby players. Well they get up to. Yeah. Initiations, anything that you've been through. Right. That any stories that you've been involved in, any that you've taken part in, any that you've heard about.

01:22:09:22 – 01:22:35:14
Send them our way. Yeah lads. Anon pod at gmail.com. You know where to find us. Yeah. Just as a little taster. It's like in certain environments you could suck off a mate and it'd be normal. Like it wouldn't be considered homosexual. It wouldn't be considered out of the ordinary. It would be a bit of bands. Hey, that's. That's crazy.

01:22:35:16 – 01:22:50:20
That's our legacy. Yeah. It's not what we've left the world with. Yeah. Stuck. I can each other off for a laugh. Outrageous. I don't that night. We'll see you next week.