#132 | Making Friends | Lonely, Busy & Socially Tired

00:00:02:09 – 00:00:20:17
there was. Oh my. He is still on. Sorry, but what you want. You don't want to leave it on? No no no no no, I tell you that because you might be able to hear it on the mic. Can't know if you want to be warm. You can be warm. You don't have to worry about it. Oh, lovely stuff.

00:00:20:19 – 00:00:41:12
We had quite a few emails of the same thing about last week. By the way, everyone in the pod last week. Lots of wonderful comments. Thank you very much. Seems like a lot of people enjoyed the pop culture chat. Not so much the people that were doing Dry January because they were absolutely gagging for a bit. I mean, listen to that.

00:00:41:14 – 00:01:07:04
But nobody got to hear your story about the worst pub in Scotland. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. Fuck yeah. No. So I went up to. I went up to Scotland for some reason. It was my up my mate and Biden's big Rangers fan. So I went up to Scotland to just these showed me around Glasgow and where he grew up and governance and stuff.

00:01:07:04 – 00:01:34:24
And we're not drinking quite a lot. I always wanted to go up there anyway. He he said, let's go and watch a Rangers game. And and the Rangers were playing Aberdeen and there is a Rangers pub, which you could call it a pub. It was essentially a square breeze block building that it was painted what, blue, white and red.

00:01:35:01 – 00:01:59:19
No windows. It's a just a bar in there and then crammed full of sweaters. And. Yeah, just just just just no natural light. Everything sort of painted with a hand brush. Just. It was just like it facility that they put up, you know, to fit as many Rangers fans in the before game as possible. And you go outside.

00:01:59:19 – 00:02:20:18
And it was just that brick yard, which was the garden, goats and and the cats here. My London accent. What are you doing there? And I went, just come with my mate and he goes, you support? And I was like, Spurs. And they were playing Aberdeen, obviously Spurs and Aberdeen of this thing. So they were like, you're in the wrong fucking pub on your.

00:02:20:20 – 00:02:44:18
And I'm like, yeah, I am clearly I am. I didn't mean to come in there. I didn't know that I was coming into the wrong pub. I I've just following another one of your brethren in around. Got them was they actually put were they actually put it on you genuinely. Yeah a couple not I didn't feel I was gonna get beaten up but it it's not nice being in the pub and they made it clear you're not wanted in the pub.

00:02:44:20 – 00:03:04:21
That's a, that's an awkward because where am I going to go. I don't know the area. I'm. Stu's not with me. He's gone over to one of his mates. So there's literally nothing, nowhere I can go to ameliorate the situation. Oh my God, really? What can I do? I can't walk out into the streets of Glasgow. I don't know where I am, I don't know what I've spoken.

00:03:04:21 – 00:03:27:18
I'll take it for the game. Supposed to be meeting a drug dealer called Ed on. Off time he goes. I'll come on, mate. We're now Ethan's down there waiting for you. And I went, And he was. I use the Yid one in all my gear. And I was like, yes, please. He don't don't kill me, my children, please.

00:03:27:18 – 00:03:52:18
Even I have, I swear. I mean, there might be a number of, boozers around Ibrox. Was it, was it like, was it very close to Ibrox. Yeah. This pub. Yeah. So I'm, I'm fairly certain I know the pub that you're talking about and I walked past it. I've, I've found this the Louden Tavern. One if it's the same one that I've, just Google it.

00:03:52:20 – 00:04:16:16
Yeah. Having a second one and I've done a bit of, that I'm a bit of work in there, actually. That's a bit nicer than when I went at a spelling Louden. Louden Tavern. Ello ud and. That's o'clock, I said. Oh, okay. Yeah. I said, oh, she's a beauty. And she fucking show it. Well, it's a heap, deary me.

00:04:16:18 – 00:04:40:21
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that is the boozer. I mean, like, it looks like a betting shop. It's fucking awful. Why would you do that? I suppose that I don't, I just happen to build something beautiful. Are you outside the outside? Especially Rangers as well. That is fucking. Yeah. So that was disgusting. Okay. Lovely. So that was the worst pub I've ever been in.

00:04:40:23 – 00:05:12:04
Another thing that someone picked up, picked up on, we didn't speak about the solo pint. I'm going for a solo pint. Unless I'm right. I'm sorry. All right. I'll. I'll ask for life. I'll ask him. So we'll you. I probably I don't think this closes as a solo pint. Right from memory. The only solo point that I've ever had is when I took my girls to go and watch Olivia Rodrigo.

00:05:12:06 – 00:05:42:11
And then I sat in Wetherspoons on my own and had 3 or 4 0% beers. Guinness's whilst I did some work and then wait for them and then left after that. Technically I was on my own and I was having a beer on my own, but yeah, I'm sorry Patrick no I didn't. Nein nein nein. That means that time you sitting in it was something else where you dropped the girls off and they would say, yeah, there was you in the Wetherspoons.

00:05:42:12 – 00:06:10:03
I just got absolutely pickled. Yeah, that was, what the fucking name was it? Is it Jojo Siwa? Oh, one of one of these, like. Yeah, one of the. Yeah, exactly. But yeah. So I wouldn't cross that as a I haven't chosen to toddle off down the road and go and enjoy my own company with a pint in a pub and just be there on my own.

00:06:10:05 – 00:06:24:13
I and I would never choose to do that either. Now. I would never go out for a meal on my own. I to say I'm just going to disconnect and reconnect because a slight delay.

00:06:24:15 – 00:06:43:17
Yeah. So have you ever, chosen to go do it? Not often. Have you ever been out for a pint? Yeah. Not often, not often, but I do do it like the like. Especially because we've got this pub right next to my house, which is lovely pop I mentioned last week, and they, they pour a nice pint of Guinness.

00:06:43:17 – 00:07:00:15
I, I'll sit down there and start the dog and not my dog content monitoring because it's great down in there. But and just look out the window at this amazing view. So, yeah, that would be great. I mean, we're going to be doing a little, get together, aren't we? Soon. So. Yeah. So sure. So you.

00:07:00:15 – 00:07:20:07
But yeah, there's, there's nothing wrong with it. So I will get your phone or read a paper and have a point. Yeah. No, I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with it for I, I think it's more to do with my own insecurities of me being alone in a pub. Billy Nomates. Oh, that was what it is.

00:07:20:07 – 00:07:35:11
The insecurity of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. Yeah. That's what I'm pretty sure. What you think that you're worried about what other people in the pub you'll never, never see again? Will think of you drinking a pint on your own. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Not that you might. One of your mates might see you. It's the people.

00:07:35:14 – 00:07:53:14
The other people. Well, it could be it could be any of that, really. I've never really kind of put it under a microscope and try to think about the reason why I would feel like that, but I think it is, it would be, well, weird if you're in a pub and your mate comes in, dawg. I'm typing.

00:07:53:15 – 00:08:15:04
Hey, Ricky, as you go my way with. No, I'm just on my own, man. Oh, right. Just. Okay. Fine. Fair enough. Do you mind if I join you? Yeah, actually I do. I want to be on my own, but, yeah, I, I know loads of people that will go into their local boozer for a swift off or swift few.

00:08:15:04 – 00:08:42:07
Shall I say. But yeah, he's never I'd what I did have kind of, aspirations that when my children hit teens and, you know, things developed and there was a lot of, hormones flying around and a half that I would be that guy that would escape to my local pub. I'd have a beer on my own, but it's not really been that bad, and I don't really want to do that.

00:08:42:07 – 00:09:03:17
So there's that, you know, there was this one time when I was talking about that bloke Hutch went walking around, Hamburg with, there was, there's another bloke I met on a stag do with, for ls exactly when we went to Amsterdam as one of his mates. And his name's Neil, but I can't remember his name exactly.

00:09:03:19 – 00:09:23:05
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big lad at his wedding. Do you remember his wedding? He did the speech and he wrote. He's he's, he's he wrote his best man speech on a napkin five minutes before he did it. And it was, it was brilliant to remember him. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Was it Neil. Yeah. It's never just a shagger.

00:09:23:07 – 00:09:44:20
Absolutely. That about it. Really? Yeah. Top shagger. Mate, we would go out. I'd be like a Tuesday afternoon and I'd be having a pint in because I used to finish work. From exposure when I work for exposure. Yeah. I finish work at 3:00 on a Tuesday, and I had a meeting in Upper Street at, like, half one, so I didn't go back to the office.

00:09:44:22 – 00:10:11:17
So I was having a pint and I just messaged him, fancy a pint? Them in off street. And he was like, yeah. And then obviously straight through. Where was he at that time that night working in Up Australia, remember. I think he just came in. We just we were terrible for each other. Awful. I had a real bad habit of making friends with people that but facilitate me in every way.

00:10:11:19 – 00:10:38:00
I think people like that naturally gravitate towards each other, don't I? Yeah. You're like, this is he's not gonna stop me, and I'm not going to stop him. It's bad really. It's very bad. Like, I, I sometimes on TikTok follow a couple not follow but like often FIP comes up with these recovery right and recovery cocaine Shane Kirk and Shane one's freaky man.

00:10:38:00 – 00:10:57:04
It's it's devastating. Just look at his face and you seeing what he's just face is collapsing in on itself. It is. Yeah. That is, if you want to see a, how bad it can get, an alive ads. Walking around for cocaine addiction. Yeah. He is it is it? I feel I feel for him.

00:10:57:04 – 00:11:19:07
It is fucking heroin. And of course, you feel for him. Yeah, but people, I think about addiction in the way that it's easy for people to stop. It's not. It's impossible. It's not. It isn't a choice. It isn't. It isn't a choice, actually, because willpower alone doesn't get it done. If it is a choice, it means you could choose not to do it.

00:11:19:09 – 00:11:47:14
But you need of the need of a support systems in place anyway. Ryan. Ryan in recovery. I've been up following him. He was on my bad like coke head. And you listen to some of his stories and you're like, how you pushing a crime in two lines? Like he start, they'll get a gram of gear and he's bashing the whole thing in two lines just to start the night, but I wouldn't I can speak.

00:11:47:16 – 00:12:10:09
Horrid stuff. Horrid, horrid, horrible stuff. Killing it. Gravity line is insane. Yeah. Well, obviously. Yeah, but but but it's things you would talk about. What if you feel that things are okay up to a lot the can't. That isn't necessarily friendship. It's just to people existing in the space they want to exist in for a bit.

00:12:10:11 – 00:12:32:15
Yeah. And another one that Darren was at my wedding, we would be, terrible, terrible. Darren. Darren I don't know, was I always say something, but, Yeah. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, it was, but what isn't there that's dumb. Oh, that's a that's going down. That's what we called. We got a couple of these and we just all loved him I love him, I love to bits.

00:12:32:15 – 00:12:53:04
He's amazing. Amazing person. Amazing man. But we just like when we were a bit younger. He's be able to me just love can but bang on it. We just go out and Camden and just meet him. I've got no idea who this who this dude is. But, Yeah, with, I think if you. I think.

00:12:53:06 – 00:13:20:22
No, I think if he lived in Crouch End, you might have been out. Right. Yeah, you would have probably been asked it. I couldn't. I got no room for everybody. I, someone's. I'll go right. Someone's got to go. Would it be never, never be up. You got the in, dim night. Hazy light. Band of brothers playing tunes.

00:13:20:22 – 00:13:52:00
Hi. Is quiet. Midnight waves surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm hit us different ways. Love of music that we prayed with our tongues in cheek. Banners I, we like to speak and yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers. Hello and welcome to Lads Anonymous. It's episode 132. I'm Ricky, he's flat. Two best mates, one main topic we answer your life dilemmas and confessions in our feature.

00:13:52:05 – 00:14:19:20
Something I know you know. So sit back, relax and enjoy the pot. Oh, I missed the line out there. Fucking. Oh. Well, And everything remains anonymous. Always. So sit back, relax and enjoy the pot. How's it going? Flab? It's good, it's good. Busy? Busy week. Yeah. And I feel like, be sitting on my ass on this chair for, for four days.

00:14:19:20 – 00:14:42:09
I mean, I was really go out. It has been pissing down rain, so I just feel like I need to, I don't know what I need to. Yeah, it's, I mean, it's been. The weather's been gross today, so it's. It's weird weather, isn't it? Like today is pushing it down. It's gray. Yesterday was brassic woke up and it was just missed.

00:14:42:09 – 00:15:07:13
And ice everywhere is beautiful. Yeah, but, today is just fucking miserable. Where am I just. I'll just mention that we are on a, a time constraint today. Go get shit done. So we're just gonna zip straight through people trying to zip straight through. Well, I do want to say is right. We I mentioned last week I went for a walk along the canal.

00:15:07:13 – 00:15:35:01
The canal was clear. I had no idea why it was there. And this is a gentleman. I don't quite know what his job is, but it's in science, biology, that type of shit. And he looks at Salamis. Right. And he sent me an amazing video of a country he was working in. I think it's Guam. I think of a, kind of salami wave breaker.

00:15:35:03 – 00:15:57:09
That's the best way to describe it. Well, that little thing you sent me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's actually called a fascinated by it, but I put a call out to him last week to say, why was the canal so clear, and why could I see to the bottom? I've never seen it like that. And he actually replied, wow, Ricky mate, tough question here.

00:15:57:11 – 00:16:28:22
It could be a number of things. One thing could be that if you had lots of rain, lots of rain would overfill the canal, which would push all the water, which would make it clear because all your sediment and all the algae in the water would be gone. Okay. Secondly, if it's been really cold and there's been, there hasn't been a lot of movement on the water as in a boat move in, a lot of the stuff will settle to the floor of your canal.

00:16:28:22 – 00:16:57:09
There's been no boats. Absolutely. Do you know what there's been my last maybe ten weeks of not seeing a single boat moving down the canal. But it's quite rare. It's quite rare to mate in the summer. I was looking once. I saw one the other day, and up and down all over the shop. I saw a tick tock the other day of a, a couple, and they're trying to move their boat, and the lock's closed, but all the water's empty.

00:16:57:11 – 00:17:14:04
The lock's closed, but it was empty. It's like it'd been drained. It wasn't, I don't know, they got to it and the lock was closed. The can, I was full, but on the other side, it was almost like the. Someone had taken the plug out and all the water on. Unless it was the sink. I don't know what the edge of the sink.

00:17:14:04 – 00:17:31:14
I don't know if that I do. You know what? I've seen that sort of sentence. I've seen something like that before where someone said they've drawn, they've drawn all the water. Where does it go? The teenagers have left locks open and then all the water's disappeared. Wow. A nice cook. I was going to say it's quite a good practice.

00:17:31:14 – 00:17:57:08
Not if you can. Our listeners are right. I love the canal. But I'm just saying it would be funny if you were on a boat and you looked and suddenly there was no water. Last thing is, the other thing that it could be is your upstream water where it's coming from, that feeds the canal that somehow slowed way down and your current has gone away, which would then let you sediment and all your crap in the canal, settle to the floor.

00:17:57:10 – 00:18:16:21
Hope that helps. So basically, you just say no, the sediment is just falling to the floor. That's what you're saying. Which, I mean, I don't know, I could see the bottom side and I but thank you for sending that in. Much appreciate it. The topic for today five. Do you know what it is? I can't remember.

00:18:16:23 – 00:18:39:00
It's making friends in your, 30s and 40s. Now, this actually stems from an email that we got sent in. And it wasn't just this email. So we've had a couple that are similar to this, but I'll just read it out quickly. I'm a 39 year old man. I'm on New Year's resolution this year is to make some friends.

00:18:39:02 – 00:19:13:14
About three years ago I moved to a popular coastal town with my wife and dog to start out our dream lives. Being somewhat on the autism spectrum, I'm incredibly comfortable in my own company and don't particularly do well in groups of strangers in social situations. Although I can blend in really well and hold conversations with most people. I have a couple of neighbors that I share as mutual friends with my wife, but really, we only get together maybe once every few months and aren't particularly close.

00:19:13:16 – 00:19:33:23
Before I left my home town, I found myself disconnecting more and more from my social circles and hoped I'd make new friends after moving, but sadly, this hasn't been the case. I'd love to have a couple of friends that I could go for a beer with, go for a bike ride, or just catch up or shoot shit like I did when I was younger.

00:19:34:00 – 00:19:54:21
I have zero social media presence for mental health reasons, and I feel like the world has left me behind a bit. How do people connect these days? So we've had quite a few people, that have emailed in over the last few months to say about that. One thing along the line, exactly like this guy. Not exactly.

00:19:54:23 – 00:20:04:05
They didn't mention that. I mean, I on the autism spectrum, they're also not all autistic. Can you?

00:20:04:07 – 00:20:31:18
Imagine that all of our audience was autistic. You know, make these things like, listen, and then they just find comfort from a voice. Just, tapped into something that, Yeah. I mean, there are a lot of people that are struggling out there. We can help you. I mean, we can't physically help you, you know, pick your friends.

00:20:31:18 – 00:20:53:13
Well, you were you reply to everybody online. Just message Rick. You will definitely reply to it. I mean, I didn't I didn't think I did that. There you go. I mean first of number one straight away you get bros. Yeah yeah yeah. Clear your head cleared. Yeah yeah yeah sure. Get yourself some confidence. Yeah, bro. Yes. Yeah, yeah for sure.

00:20:53:15 – 00:21:14:12
That is number one, please. I imagine it is quite tough. I mean, like all the friends, a lot of the friends I've made through the podcast have now become solid mates. And I was always lucky enough to have, like, I've got five brothers that are like, you know, as close to, like their I have. Even if I had nobody else, I've had have them.

00:21:14:14 – 00:21:44:17
Yeah. But I think the older you get, it's almost like you're predefined not to, to find social circles more difficult to, to penetrate. The energy to do it isn't there that where it was previously because I think in a natural space, I mean, in terms of how nature intended, the older you get, the less you need groups.

00:21:44:19 – 00:22:12:14
You know, what is youth is about socializing. It's about making contacts, about going out. It's about making bad decisions and having fun all in the in the hope of making some sort of social connection with someone else. Hopefully find a mate, someone to settle down with. And if, even if you maintain the energy as an adult, as a middle aged man, lots of others don't have the energy or want to match that energy.

00:22:12:16 – 00:22:59:11
It's okay. Yeah, it can be a bit bit tricky out of. Yeah, I think, I mean, like, I wouldn't even know where to where to start like because back in that, like when you in young in your early 20s and you're making making friends and then you get to our age now 40s, and you're a totally different stage in your life where by for me, anyway, I'm less dependent on or less searching of other kind of, that, that, that type of friendship.

00:22:59:13 – 00:23:33:03
I, I have like, a handful of people that are my mates, and we have a you know, a deep connection whereby we have shared hobbies and interests and experiences and, and a lot of, and all of that stuff. So it's a very deep rooted friendship. But if I was looking for, a new friendship, I'd find it quite difficult because of being a being that you'd be in an office.

00:23:33:03 – 00:23:54:00
Right. So it's not the it's not the greatest place to to make a friendship at work. I would say, I don't know. I mean, I mean, I've made some really good friends at work, as I said that, I knew that obviously, you know, James and James all like my best, my best friend. So I saw your face in it.

00:23:54:00 – 00:24:19:23
So you fucking sorry. Oh my God, you get a little cunt. Yeah. James is never say that to me. No, but you're like, yeah, in that instance. But usually work is associated with boredom and and, you know, I think so it's hard sometimes it is. Not you know, I take that back because I have made some amazing mates at work.

00:24:20:01 – 00:24:40:08
It was my birthday, like Batman. You remember? She was your mate? Yes. There was, yeah, that was at Moorfields Eye Hospital. That's. That is the one. Yeah. So, friends, I am still for. Do you know what I messaged, yesterday? What did you say? So she was, she said, just like my old man. I'm going to the shops on my bike.

00:24:40:11 – 00:24:59:18
And she had cycled to the shops on her bike, and I was like, me fucking icy and snowy out there, you mental? Yeah. And she just found that really funny. She said, like, you know, I've got to get to the shops and I've got a bike. So that's what I'm going to do. But yeah, she's well, very well.

00:24:59:20 – 00:25:18:15
My, my mate Dale, but, yeah, I was like, I've made great mates at work, but that was when I was younger. Do you know what I mean? It's kind of. I was a lot more, I thought, like, I didn't have anything to lose. I was very I wasn't guarded, I didn't really know the world.

00:25:18:15 – 00:25:45:16
I was, you know, just here. There. And everywhere. But as I've got to this older age, I'm more selective, I'm more guarded. I'm more kind of like, transactional with people I would work with. It's like to get the work done, have chit chat. That would be it. I wouldn't see them outside of, Yeah. So I can understand where people are finding it hard.

00:25:45:18 – 00:26:10:01
But if you go to the gym, another gym, bro, you just there for the workout. If you, You know what, right? This is a fucking very weird place to, I'm not saying that I'm friends of anyone, but when I go my regular walks every single morning, I see the same faces, the same people, the same fishermen and stuff like that.

00:26:10:03 – 00:26:44:11
I normally raise my to them. So. You right? Yeah. Today in it. Oh, you caught any fish today? And, you know, those little things, I could easily start up a friendship with them. I don't know what I'd have to do is just stop in that moment, have a little conversation, and then carry on going. So if you've, if you've got a dog or you go for walks, maybe, you know, you might see the same regular people as you're going and you can, build up a relationship from that.

00:26:44:13 – 00:27:18:21
What about, what about, but what I've, I've noticed there's, like, a games shop near me. A boardgame shop, and they play Dungeons and Dragons in their D and D is D and D. That was a tenacious D, so, I've seen these people playing D and D on in TikTok and stuff, and I'm like, this is actually fucking fantastic.

00:27:18:23 – 00:27:37:08
But then you see some of them, you're like this kids life like this storytelling. That's what it is. Yeah. So I might can make some friends with some dork. I saw a woman that was, teaching an actor. I think she was an actress. And she was talking about D and D, and he was like, how do you play this?

00:27:37:09 – 00:27:53:00
Oh, yeah. John. Bethan. Bethan. That's it? Yeah, that's the one. Yeah. That clip is amazing. It's I'm all in it and he's I there's a crack and there's now bear there and he's like yeah. Have I ever seen an owl bear before says right, let's run a perception check. And I was like, wow, look at that run and run.

00:27:53:02 – 00:28:13:03
Oh, the perception check is good that it is cool, isn't it? I fucking love to get involved with that. I'll tell you that now. Yeah, it's a fun, fun. So what do you really love to do? Social media. Don't mind the fact that the guys come off social media. That's fucking kid shit heap of a place.

00:28:13:03 – 00:28:37:12
That's how you got, like, absolute pile on by Aston Villa fans. It'll be great. Yeah. What was that? Because I called them a yoyo club about two years ago, and the overlap decided. Oh, no. No, sorry. You're talking about the tweet I made. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I did that retaliation for them getting me first rate.

00:28:37:14 – 00:28:40:23
They started it.

00:28:41:00 – 00:28:57:09
They started it. I'll tell you what. We're going to talk about this on the Fighting Cock podcast. So everyone but everyone here because it doesn't make sense in this thing. But in terms of social media, it's full of horrible people. Twitter is very horrible. It's not a place to make friends. But being right, we we've kind of made friends through the internet, didn't we?

00:28:57:09 – 00:29:29:08
Like. Exactly. I mean, exactly that. Not kind of. We actually did. We did on a forum. Yeah. Can we name it? You would. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, so glad it's gone. Yeah. Exactly. T HFC latest, it was code and you'd go on there every morning. You would see a thread that someone has created. You go in there and comment and say all the usual people and there is maybe like a collection of, shall we say, 30 people that would fairly regularly use it in and out.

00:29:29:10 – 00:29:56:05
Yeah. We and I would, I would say like in that period I was just close to them guys on that message board as opposed to people in my real life. Like I would spend so much time on that message board 100% like literally this pictures of me like and in the background, my computer's on and you can see the port, the boards on my screen like that light blue, the port.

00:29:56:07 – 00:30:16:02
And me and Ricky went on there. We had loads of mates. I still know loads of people else. The fact that I talked about earlier, he was we met him on there, else we did. Yeah, yeah. You know obviously to trunk without. Yeah. Jack without that board, the final cut wouldn't have happened. Yeah. Absolutely categorically would not exist.

00:30:16:04 – 00:30:50:08
And all of these podcasts, all of them, none of them would exist. Now you're right. No. You're right. Yeah. Absolutely right. Yeah. But yeah, if I'm if you were to. But you said no social media, that's fine. What about if you like, looked in Reddit or any of the places online and the main places. What I would say actually is, Facebook groups, and local Facebook groups make sure it's not like any the we've got one called Milton Keynes Moan.

00:30:50:10 – 00:31:14:21
So everyone's in there moaning about Milton Keynes. Brilliant Facebook I love those. There's my favorite thing the like Devizes Adam Devizes issues is is all one. And it's just got a bloke 40 and Wallace is £0.11 and people are just like taking him out all the time. Oh well. Angry the other day when you, when would you accept a 1% paying, 1% rise in your council tax?

00:31:14:23 – 00:31:34:23
So the council would be able to raise enough money to deal with all the potholes in the road and, like, now just fucking sort them out. I can fuck how much it costs your job. Sort the money out. And now the, the bin collections, you can go up to three weeks every three weeks as vice every two weeks.

00:31:35:00 – 00:31:53:04
So we're already paying more council tax. We can put the same amount of council for less. Service means it costs more. It's more expensive. What we're paying for having Hackney. Second, your bins are going to sit outside for three weeks and then they're going to collect it. Yes. That is disgraceful. Yeah. When do you come? Every two weeks.

00:31:53:06 – 00:32:15:05
Every. Oh no. No every week. Every week. Every week my black bins are collected. That's food rubbish and all the crap. And then on alternate weeks from that side to the red and blue, which is your plastics and your paper and card, you have to separate your plastics and card. Yeah, yeah. You got one bin for plastic and one bin for.

00:32:15:07 – 00:32:39:09
Yeah. Paper. I say yeah, blue is plastic bottles, cans and foil. And then red is paper and cardboard. So I live in a third world where you live in milk, isn't it? Well, we walk out and get picked up every three weeks. Yeah, they can, because we're the rats. Oh, the rats or the rats and dirty people that they have to.

00:32:39:09 – 00:33:02:01
Or what? Dysentery would spread throughout the whole of Milton Keynes. No one washes their acid. Fucking. I made three weeks. That's unbelievable. Do you do you. It's going to be. Your house is going to be piled high with fucking black bag. Nah, a little bit. But it's going to be like, you know, the Christmas when you got to pick up, like, Christmas.

00:33:02:01 – 00:33:25:22
It's just part of this shit everywhere. Do you, do you still not wash your hands after you have a poop? Jesus. It's right. I always wash my hands. No, no, you said it doesn't touch anything. It just comes out. So you don't need to wash your hands. That's it. That's. That is a lie that it always was a weed in state of my mud.

00:33:25:22 – 00:33:43:13
Fucking puppy. You know, I have to, is it? I gotta remember the answer, then. Is it, Is it when is it a weed and money? It because you you said to put your willies just like another piece of skin. So why? What? Why am I going to waste my time washing my hands? Now that does sound something like I would say, right?

00:33:43:19 – 00:34:03:16
Do you wash your hands after having away. Yeah, that. Yeah, I have to because fucking my kids and I like most of the time when I'm chatting with my kids, I am very, handsy. What not hands is in that way, but what what what's the word I'm looking for? What do you mean, what way? I don't know what you mean.

00:34:03:16 – 00:34:23:08
I'm good for tactile, but what do you mean, hands in that way? I said, like, if I pass them and squeeze their cheek or ruffle their hair or. But what? You said. Not in that way. What do you mean, not in that way? What? What was hands in like? Not. See, I didn't even think that you eat your vacuum and rocking the edges of it.

00:34:23:10 – 00:34:55:24
No. No. What? It's a, when when when the kids use your sweet to have a poo stink out your bedroom. Yeah, they have a not flush the toilet. Younger ones sometimes, but. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think it was another human paint powder, didn't it? Didn't come from me. It's nothing worse than that. No, no, I know, and, I'm like, generally the person only uses the downstairs toilet.

00:34:56:04 – 00:35:18:11
And that's my, my poem into it about really? This is really weird because I've, I've had a turn in there and lo and behold, there was, there was some screeches in the pan, some of it was skids. And I was, right. I'll sort that out. But, my plan was to go back in there and then piss them off off the wall, as you normally do.

00:35:18:14 – 00:35:38:02
I believe it's called chipping or being a chipper. So I'm not trying to do that, but then it's gone a few days and these, these night marks hadn't gone, so I had to get the brush out. And honestly, mate, the amount of work I had to put in to get rid of these things, I don't, I poo.

00:35:38:02 – 00:36:06:23
How was it like just superglued itself to the side of fucking mint? Sometimes it happens directly after the for as well. Yeah. Why is that? How are you doing that in, Is that straight? Why are you so committed to not going down? Yeah. Just leave it. Leave us. Yeah. I want out. Yeah. So with your run off track, let me just get back to track.

00:36:07:04 – 00:36:37:02
So I was going to say about. So meeting new people, going to, what was it like meeting people from work and stuff like that? It's very hard. And and we were talking about Facebook group. I'll ask what Facebook groups, hobbies and stuff like that. So if you have a specific hobby and you want to join a group or something like that, are there any like local running groups where you are, are there any.

00:36:37:04 – 00:36:58:13
Yeah, loads. Fishing groups. Yeah, exactly. There's loads of these types of things you just need to you need to go looking for it at last week when we were talking about pop as well, if you go into your local bays, I like you said you want to go for a beer with a couple of people ever, you know, of the crack with them, go on bike rides.

00:36:58:19 – 00:37:24:20
They. When you said bike rides, immediately it conjured up into my head. A fully grown man on BMX is just riding around their estate. And that's not. That's right as well. Yeah, that is fine. That's not the type of riding he probably mean. If you were just not in your local every Friday, same time, 3:00 had a pint, you would find the same people that are on your kind of rhythm in that pub.

00:37:24:22 – 00:37:45:24
You'd get a head nod, then you'd get a little, you know, like, oh yeah, yeah, as you go and you have a little conversation and then it snowballs. And then before you know it, you're in someone's kitchen. 3:00 in the morning there. Fucking cheese all all over the gaff. You're a happy little boy. You are. So it's,

00:37:46:01 – 00:38:21:09
I mean, it is difficult. And being an adult is. I think the older you get, the harder it is to make new friends, because you have a lot of insecurities about yourself. You don't want to come across as, stupid or, embarrassing or I think, but as much as it really is about like, you know, the fact meeting other people in a similar position because a lot of people have made their friends, have they got families, like most of my energy is spent at home with my kids and and no wife.

00:38:21:15 – 00:38:45:14
That's where my energy goes. There isn't much space left for anybody else. You know, we've been friends for years and we barely see each other. Yes, I do know. Yeah. So it's like you're competing with that, which is difficult, but it doesn't say is impossible is just right with your eyesight. When you see an opportunity, you get sliver there like a little worm.

00:38:45:16 – 00:39:22:21
Do you think, like, with adults? Well, we, because of, like, I don't know, like which social media I was just speaking about, because everyone is keeping up with the Joneses. Everyone's got a perfect life and everyone's that, you know, Instagram lifestyle and all of that. Like, do you think it's it drives people away that they're less willing to discuss their feelings and how they really are in fear of not living up to sort of expectations of what I mean is, are adults too scared to admit that they're lonely?

00:39:22:23 – 00:39:38:04
Yeah. I don't think I would. I also, it's of an energy that's quite hard to deal with if you're saying it's I, I just I'm really lonely in life. I don't know what to say to that. What would I say? That's not to make me want to be a friend. Is it even more so, like the lonely stuff?

00:39:38:04 – 00:40:00:24
Yeah. Yeah, especially for men. Men don't want to deal with, like. In the first instance, don't want to deal with something really heavy like that. First is what do you like? Do you like Guinness? What football team do you support this guy and watch football. Do you like the office? Yeah. Yes. All right I, I think it's probably the most overrated show in British comedy history, but.

00:40:00:24 – 00:40:20:15
Yeah. God, what have you said? What team do you support? Tottenham. Oh, okay. One of one of two. Great. Brilliant. Yeah, I got that point. Just go back to that. Just one before we do carry on. What do you think? If any of this is really good, they hate me. Yeah. You ask me. He said, do I like the office is easy.

00:40:20:15 – 00:40:44:24
Good. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's the best, the best, the best. One of the best. One of the best. No. You sound really stupid when you say that. Why? You just sound like an idiot. I don't think I can be your friend. Yeah. This is. Do you like breaking back? Breaking Bad? Go back. Please. You break it back.

00:40:45:01 – 00:41:10:02
Breaking back. Oh. I thought it was okay. Just pretend like it. Just pretend you like what they like until you know. Yeah. Oh, that's a good point. That's fake. Until you make it. I just ask ChatGPT. What? Why? It's difficult, to make friends when you're middle aged. He says you lose force, proximity, which is really interesting when you're young.

00:41:10:02 – 00:41:27:09
Friendship is basically a side effects of being trapped together. School, uni, first jobs, shared houses. You see the people constantly with zero effort. Middle age strips that away, everyone scattered, busy and exhausted. Friendship now requires intention, which is harder. The momentum.

00:41:27:11 – 00:41:51:08
That's that is that's now there, isn't it? You forced to be together when you're young. Time becomes fragmented in your 20s. You might have entire evenings to waste. In midlife, time comes in awkward little chunks between work, kids, partners, caring responsibilities, or just needing to lie down and stare at the ceiling. Chatting. Go, go. You got jokes.

00:41:51:10 – 00:42:20:21
Deep friendships need repetition. And repetition is expensive. Now. Fuck, people are already full. A lot of people aren't unfriendly. They're saturated. They've got their school friends, work friends, kids, parents, WhatsApp groups. They already mute. Adding someone new feels like adding another subscription. They forget, forget. They have to forget to cancel a podcast. Going to ChatGPT you going to take have a podcast?

00:42:20:23 – 00:42:41:13
You stick a little, a local accent on that lot of Sheffield accent. Put this out as a podcast. People be like, oh, that was a good one this week. This is good. Nailed it. Vulnerability feels riskier. Yeah, this is better than anything we can say. To be honest. I just read this out and, friendship deepens through honesty and low stakes messiness when you're younger.

00:42:41:13 – 00:43:08:00
Oversharing is normal. In midlife, people are more guarded. Careers, reputations, relationships, and pride are in play. The emotional barrier to saying I'm struggling gets higher, not lower. Yeah, so you just say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We make we mistake for familiarity, for closeness, work colleagues. Jim faces other parents on the touchline. You see people regularly and assume connection will happen naturally.

00:43:08:00 – 00:43:34:19
It rarely does without deliberately crossing into the line or in the pub or coffee. It stays polite and shadow shallow. Yeah, yeah. Energy is lower, standards are higher. You've got less patience for draining people and more awareness of what you don't want. That's healthy, but it narrows the field. You're no longer collecting friends. You create in friends. You said that as well about people coming on your doorstep.

00:43:34:23 – 00:44:05:07
Share my doorstep. I don't like shell. Yeah, yeah. You'll be cut. Yeah, yeah. As I'm coping like I, Yeah. As I've got older, I've got brilliant trait, trait. The people up I want around me. Yeah. So you surround yourself with. Yeah. So you made it really exciting yesterday for income. I know, but the people I had like meaningful shared relationships when I was younger, I just don't see you speak to.

00:44:05:07 – 00:44:32:07
I don't remember half of the names. That proximity thing is really, Well, the first one. Yeah, because I do have a lot of, let's say, mates. That I grew up with, that I probably looking back and looking back on it now, not really my mates, do you know. I mean, it's because we hung around all in the same group.

00:44:32:09 – 00:45:05:13
But if I was to choose my mates again, as in to say these ones over here, like, no, like we don't have a shared interest and we don't have the same kind of world view. We don't have all these different things yet because we hung around together. You don't live near each other. We would mate and he would say, Andy, if my bosses were if you said you don't have friends, you just share a common goal with people, which is really bleak.

00:45:05:15 – 00:45:27:17
But yeah, what's the common goal when you're eighteens getting mangled and trying to get, you know, have sex? Yeah. Your all your common goals now shared with your family. I think yeah. Well I mean what would our common goal be then.

00:45:27:19 – 00:45:45:08
I don't know I don't believe I don't believe it. I don't think because the common goal is happiness or love. Isn't it? So I care what happens to you, Rick. Yeah. Oh, it needs to be happy. I don't want you to be sad. And if you are sad, I'll do my best to try and get you out of it.

00:45:45:08 – 00:46:03:04
So that friendship, isn't it? I don't want anything back in return for doing that. Yeah. Whereas some of the people I used to get married with, I wouldn't want them to call me if that a problem. Don't don't call me up saying you feel sad.

00:46:03:06 – 00:46:34:17
I don't know you anymore. Just keep looking for them. Actually. That's good. I do have something here. So there's something, the the pop friendship test. To see if they are an actual friend. Would you go on holiday together? Would you help them move house? Oh, only my best friends are the moving housing. I would never ask my true friends to help me move house.

00:46:34:19 – 00:46:52:04
No, that's not what a good friend does. No, I know the last thing in the world you want to do is drive across the wheelchair and help me move house. So I would never ask you. I didn't ask you to. Two hours to drive across to vote, share and then move to houses and. Yeah. Is that what it is?

00:46:52:06 – 00:47:02:12
Yeah, yeah. Two hours. Why didn't you come to see me more often? Because my fucking car never fucking move, right? It's fucking.

00:47:02:14 – 00:47:18:11
I go call, it works. I could probably come to you. But you never would. I know, I would, I would, I would drive to you, I would, I would, of course, of. It is only two hours. Sure. Yeah. Two hours. Yeah. Yeah. I've, I've, looked. Yeah. But, you saying that and you would never ask your friends.

00:47:18:13 – 00:47:45:18
You never, asked to do anything about me even would you out your mates. Did any of what? Any of them offer to help me move the no. One, not one person. The zero. Well, the the kids. That one person, I said there was one person who? Me? You didn't ask. I remember, but I don't know if I don't remember the WhatsApp photograph there.

00:47:45:18 – 00:48:05:09
You have a screengrab there. Yeah, there wasn't. I made that up. So it's showing off in front of. Well, no, the only person that did with the kids. Daddy, he's like, he's fucking was like, great time and move to Sydney. Yeah, he does it, I suppose. Yeah. You then. No one did. No one did. No one.

00:48:05:11 – 00:48:30:16
No one offered. No, but but it's fine because I would offer my services. I would do everything I can not to help someone move house. Get out of it in every way possible. My sister always says that. You know how me and my missus, we're very laid back. Yeah. Planning an organization isn't, strong point, but we were moving house, and my sister said she.

00:48:30:16 – 00:48:51:00
She turned up on the day to help out. And she looked around the house, and nothing had been, like, virtually boxed up. And she just looked at me, and my sister was just just cried with laughter. So we were just getting stuff and just put it, just sliding it onto the lorry as we're moving six streets away.

00:48:51:00 – 00:49:13:14
It's not that bad. We don't need to box everything up. She's like, yeah, but you still need to do this. And I was just like, just take the cutlery drawer out the cutlery thing, slide on the lorry, forget about it. And then we'll just throw it into the house, but deal with it later. But she found that hilarious that we had packed nothing and just threw in a lorry, drive a few streets down the road, and then just flew into the house and dealt with it.

00:49:13:14 – 00:49:39:18
And then at the time, I don't even know what the fucking hell was I talking about that to one another? It that's it, about, whether or not they are a good mate or not. Right. I think we're going to end up there and the. We've got something any, you know, that is called nemesis in sperm.

00:49:39:18 – 00:50:17:15
I. Very good. And the topic for next week. Okay. The topic for next week is parenting styles. Right. We'll be recording next week, next Friday the 23rd of January. And it's going to be our two year anniversary to when we first release Lads Anonymous. The first episode, which was the 23rd of January 2024, I think it was for this episode, we've got a special guest, we've got a guest coming on.

00:50:17:15 – 00:50:39:15
Do we tell them who the guest is now? Well, we've got a guest. You know who the fucking guests know yet, though, when I would, I think I would remember if we were going to have a guest for the first time in our fucking podcast history. You suggested the guest. What? Who? I'm not telling you. We're going to.

00:50:39:20 – 00:51:09:01
So what's what is the what's the podcast about? Pairing in styles. Parenting styles? Yeah. Parenting. That's dads. Dads. That's. Oh, dad, I think it's my brother Alex. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yes. Yeah yeah yeah. That's next week. Is it Friday. That's next week. Next Friday. So, it's going to be me fluff and flaps brother because he's just become produces.

00:51:09:03 – 00:51:32:22
Yeah. Come. Oh he's just become a father isn't he. He's got a little a little childhood memories and we're going to chat about that. And, and obviously he does all the, theme tunes for Latin on flying cars. All of it. And, I mean, he just doesn't do things. Incredibly talented music guys. But anyway, there's going to be three of us for the pod next week.

00:51:32:22 – 00:52:12:16
I'm fucking very excited, to have that conversation. So if you've got anything about, fatherhood, parenting styles, anything like that, send it into Lad's Anon pod@gmail.com and then, yeah, look forward to it. We're going to go into something I know you know, now why something you know. Nemesis in sperm. I, it was a beautiful summer's day, and my school had arranged a trip to Thorpe Park.

00:52:12:18 – 00:52:38:04
I was in a small group of six friends, both boys and girls. And one of the girls was my new girlfriend. Whilst we were queuing for one of the rides, my girlfriend decided she wanted to go in for a smooch. A proper sloppy kiss. There's nothing best when you. Oh mate. When? Yeah, when you're teenagers, you go to a theme park and start getting off of your bed at the theme park.

00:52:38:06 – 00:53:14:08
Yeah, it was like a rite of passage, wasn't it? Yeah. So it's not proper to wait for the nemesis. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. And think things are going off. Things are going off in your trousers. Yeah. For sure. This was something I hadn't done before. I definitely enjoyed it. Immediately a rush of blood ran straight down to my cock, and I was stiff as a board and instead of popping it into my waistband, it grew downwards and was held firmly in place on my leg by my tight boxer shorts.

00:53:14:10 – 00:53:49:17
I've had a couple of those ones I don't think anyone noticed, as my girlfriend was standing in front of me, blocking any view of my concealed erection. After a short while of kissing, we continued to shuffle along in the queue. My my soldier was no longest standing to attention and I was relieved that no one had noticed. However, as we approached the front of the queue, my girlfriend moved away from me and one of my mates suddenly saw that I had a wet patch on my beige chino shorts.

00:53:49:19 – 00:54:20:20
He quickly looked at the rest of the group forced down at me cos he did, asking what it was. I looked down at my crotch a new straightaway that this was jizz. All the making out must, must have made me so horny that I'd leaked a shit ton of prick without knowing. Fuck. I grabbed and pinched the wet patch and told everyone that I was desperate for a wee, and that a little bit must have tripled our.

00:54:20:22 – 00:54:42:14
I had to make up a whole story. I suffer from a weak bladder, and that this sometimes happens when I hold it in for too long. Everyone seemed to buy it and it was actually quite and was actually quite empathetic about the whole thing. I darted out of the queue and headed for the toilets to dry out the patch with the hand dryers.

00:54:42:16 – 00:55:11:05
I would much rather be embarrassed by everyone thinking I had a weak bladder, rather than coming in my own pants without my cock being touched, and that is something I'm a pretty good, good, good is it? Remind me of them. Peep show. Do you remember? Mark is in the stationery cupboard with Dobby. Oh, yeah. And she's grinding up against him, and then he is in his pants and he goes out and,

00:55:11:07 – 00:55:21:07
Who is it? Sophie. And who's the other day? It's the boss. Not, not the boss. Jeff?

00:55:21:09 – 00:55:39:22
Yeah, yeah, Mike's making it like this smoking spliff. And they say that he's got a wet patch in front of his trousers, and it's, Mark V pissed yourself and he's like, yeah, yeah. Then he walks away and they're all laughing at me. It's like, the joke's on you, actually. Jack cheese. So, reroute the phones. Oh, my.

00:55:39:22 – 00:56:02:09
I love very much love pizza. Go. I would yeah, that's one thing. When I, when I do drive. Can you ever watch Peep Show with you as well? That's one thing I, Yeah. So the topic got loads of weed coming from the, What? From Curaleaf. What, for your feet? Yeah, Schmidt. Loads of weed or, you know.

00:56:02:11 – 00:56:18:06
Yeah. Can you? Yeah. Well, I mean, I haven't for for like, five years. No no no no no no, we're not fucking starting smoking drugs if you don't smoke drugs. I didn't know of you I don't know what about if he vape? It was that still drugs, isn't it? So drugs doesn't count. It doesn't count. We do these things that way.

00:56:18:12 – 00:56:43:16
Just like we might get some MDMA in them as well. Then if we're doing it. Yeah. Oh yeah. I would style and some ching. Nah. Yeah. Totally terrible ideas. Right? Right. But okay. Right, right, right. So the topic for next week is parenting styles. Or if you've become a dad for the first time, or if you're a dad and you've got two little ones, whatever it is, send it in to lads.

00:56:43:16 – 00:56:57:15
Anon pod at gmail.com. We do have a guest. It's going to be flash Brava! And until then, well patrons, we're going to see today, which is Thursday. You're lucky that everyone else see you on Monday.