#133 | Parenting | Blokes, Babies & A Birthday

00:00:00:18 – 00:00:27:22
For shark attacks 48 hours. Sydney. Holy shit. For in what, eight 48 hours a week? What a fucking week, boys. They like God, right? You know, it's a 48. Know what? It's basically excess rainfall. Causes a sewage pump out because it got old sewage works. Yeah. So your sewage goes into the harbor and into sea. Baitfish love a bit of raw sewage.

00:00:27:24 – 00:00:53:00
Bull sharks. One of the baitfish. Bait. Bull sharks eat the humans. And yet they're still going in. They're still going in, like, do something else. Anything else? I'm going to go swimming. This is what we're about. Just for a bit. Do something else. Wouldn't, would. Yeah. Go now. Wouldn't all the Pooh stop you? Before the shark. Yeah, I don't care.

00:00:53:02 – 00:01:09:07
Just Jonny's bobbing up and down there like now I don't care. This is my cold shot, right? I will swim when I want to fucking swim. All right? You don't tell me nothing. Yeah, there. Like we can't. We can't live in fear. We got to do the stuff we want to do. And you like. There are 999 things I could list that.

00:01:09:07 – 00:01:33:01
You mean you don't have to go in the water when there's bull sharks fucking everywhere? I mean, and it's all bull sharks. Yeah, yeah. Some geezer, some guys are wound me up on TikTok. I went onto the comments of a TikTok and they went. It's the same shark war like jaws. Is it jaws? The same sharks eating all the people?

00:01:33:01 – 00:01:57:08
Is it not the thousands of bull sharks in the water? It's the same shark. Eight animal fuck. Come on. Oh, and the local is is it all in the same area? This is before the happened or in the same area. Why are people going in there? You're fucking idiots. I know, I know, I know, they're like, right, this is what I do.

00:01:57:08 – 00:02:19:09
I come down here every morning at 7:00 and I surf and that's how I start my morning. Richard White yeah, it's just white. And they know you know what's in there. Alex. They're saying Colin, they want to cull some stories about Nicole. Bull sharks just don't go in the war. What's the thousands? Leave it. Thousands have to go.

00:02:19:11 – 00:02:37:08
Thousands of bull sharks have to be murdered because a couple of people want to go for a swim. That doesn't feel right. It's not on. It's not on me. So I like it. You might have hurt people. You won't. As we record, you won't hear this, Alex, but there's a jingle that you wrote for us about two years ago.

00:02:37:08 – 00:03:02:08
Now. Yeah, I'm still a up. Still? Yeah, I'm still with people. People? Remember that Jesus in the video? He he's mate turned him on to the Latin Underworld podcast, and there's a video doorbell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Think about that. All of a sudden. Yeah. We didn't. We often get, messages as well asking who you are.

00:03:02:08 – 00:03:18:18
And obviously we, we, we direct them to your Spotify. Like. Yeah, we, we also get a lot of people saying, what if you got the full version? Where's the full version? I'm not that there. Is that the jingles, the jingle man. Just be happy with what you got. Be happy with that. You've got something rather than just.

00:03:18:22 – 00:03:49:06
All right. Shut up. Yeah. Just clowning. You okay? And learning. My, I was going to say I. I need to speak to you about something, right? I I've been having a bit of a tough week. Tough nine days. I said for New Year's, my New Year's resolution. Got a quit the vape vapes. Got a go, lads.

00:03:49:08 – 00:04:10:06
I said to myself, you know, when you like lying to yourself and you know, when all the cartridges are done, I won't buy anymore. And that's it. That, you know, done. Bear out. We're out. And then on the 16th again, we cut that morning. No more vaping and I've not had a vape in like nine days now.

00:04:10:08 – 00:04:40:24
Yeah, it'd be a lie to say that I don't think about it, but the I have been extremely rude and mean to my friends in WhatsApp because I've had the power you thought you hated. I thought, I can't control myself. I thought you were just winding us up. But you like the villain of these villains? Yeah, yeah, that that villain arc was there, but I've just like, I have been leaning into it, like, really badly.

00:04:40:24 – 00:05:01:02
And I've been on you, to be honest. Yeah, I know, yeah, I know, I know, you have this fun, but yeah, I've been saying some really mean things and just do a little. Is there a, like, a little laugh you do after you send work out? No, no no, no, it's just, ten toes. Yeah, I feel bad.

00:05:01:06 – 00:05:22:04
Everyone's good. I feel bad to. Everyone's gonna feel bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly it. Yeah. She was a real life friend, Alex. It'd be pretty world right now. If we had him in real life, he wouldn't be coming round it up yet. No. All right, stay out. You you. Are you ready now? In the garden. Oh, does any part.

00:05:22:04 – 00:05:48:10
You're what? You're a musician. You're also a life coach. Do do you have any advice for Ricky here? As, like as someone who has given up, And by choice, given up something that he liked and enjoyed, but obviously is damaging to his health and is now taken out on his friends. Yeah. Just do the right. Yeah.

00:05:48:12 – 00:06:08:24
To get a across at the right. Yeah. So back there to get a bra. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds good. Do you think it'll pass or what. Yeah. Yeah, yeah I've I've done it before. Last, last year I made it to April and then I think I went to a beer garden and then I was just like fucking.

00:06:08:24 – 00:06:29:11
Now I've had too many beers and then I went into the shop and then I was, is, is it about worrying about doing something to your lungs? Is that what you're worried about? Yeah. It is. And, for years I, I, kept it a secret. Like smoking, smoking roll ups. I kept that, you know, I hate that from my daughters.

00:06:29:11 – 00:06:45:06
And I didn't know I smoked, even though they did. But they never, you know, they never saw me, and I didn't want them to catch me. And then they kind of knew I vaped. They they would walk downstairs and be like, oh, it smells of peach lemonade in here. I wonder why that is. That I'm no good.

00:06:45:08 – 00:07:08:09
I don't I'm not vaping in front of them. Yeah. She does. Yeah. Yeah, she does, but I want to be I just, I don't know, I just did what now? I was like, I old 14 she's vaping. She's not, she's not very. She's the younger one is 12 is probably vaping probably. Yeah. Two at the same time as well walking into class like that.

00:07:08:11 – 00:07:37:08
But yeah. And then I just got, I just got really lax of it. And I knew my co-host didn't want me to vape. So I was like, yeah, I probably shouldn't be vaping. It's bad for you. They don't really know research wise what it does, the damage it does. Might as well just fucking knock it in the head and in the in the in my own mind, like I am inhaling an oil that is flavored and heated into my lungs, you know, I mean, it's a this is not good.

00:07:37:12 – 00:08:00:10
It's not serious. I'm trying to go fuck it off. A strange petroleum liquid from a factory in China. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And somehow, somehow, we've got an entire generation of young people hooked on it. Yeah. So I think, I think the role is a better. Yeah. Well, exactly. Which is sucking I shout, it's like it's been better than smoking in it, but it's like and I'm doing something.

00:08:00:10 – 00:08:23:17
Do you know, like these and like what the government do to kind of curtail the addicted young generation on these lovely, sickly sweet liquids, perfect for, you know, chat room capture in the imagination and then the, the, the addictive tendencies of 16 year old kids. Is, well, we don't want disposable vapes. That makes it too easy for kids to buy.

00:08:23:19 – 00:08:41:11
So the companies that made the vapes just made them not disposable. They just put a charging port on it. But this is not disposable. They can reuse it again. Therefore we can continue to sell it. It's exactly the same. So the government cannot be banned. Disposable ban, no plastics in the sea. All that shit. Yeah. We go, well we'll just put a charging port on it.

00:08:41:11 – 00:09:07:19
That's not it's not disposable. And that's what they did. So it's exact. Nothing changed. Yeah. The sharks are vaping now because yeah that's why they're buying their AK and that's why they're biting it. You know you know the the fish that it's, it's cocaine. I see, I've seen those. Yeah. Yeah, yeah I've seen that. Like, I don't know, 90% of fish I see.

00:09:07:21 – 00:09:33:13
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Traces of cocaine. I was like right, I couldn't get it. I didn't understand how it's happening. We are fucking legends in this country when 99% of our fish are addicted. Because the amount of drugs we're doing. Yeah. Follow our lead, man. Outcast. I had class a classmate, I wrote a jingle, I. Yeah, I go and then.

00:09:33:15 – 00:10:03:06
The night hazy like Band of brothers playing tunes high as quiet. Midnight waves. Surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm hit us different ways. Love of music I we prayed with our tongues in cheek. As I we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers. Hello and welcome to lads anonymous is episode 133.

00:10:03:07 – 00:10:28:09
I'm Ricky Haze Flav. We've got Alex, two best mates, one main topic. We answer your life dilemmas and confessions and I'll feature something only you know. And everything remains anonymous. Always. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast. How's it going, gents? I mean, this is. This is interesting, innit? For three of us. We had a threesome before.

00:10:28:11 – 00:10:53:19
No, no. So this is. No. So this is why I always wanted to, hold off on gas. I just wanted to kind of, like, establish the pod and the two of us and stuff. Or 108 episodes in. Yeah, well, yeah, 163. Oh, yeah. They not think it was established at like 50. No, no no no no. What if what if I had a heart attack I'll get someone else in.

00:10:53:19 – 00:11:20:21
Exactly. Yeah yeah yeah. Right. What do you mean to get someone else in. Is that what you're saying? Is this what you're saying? On our two year anniversary? Two year birthday of releasing that to none of us? You're saying get someone else. Happy fucking birthday. Drink your milk and fuck off. Two years. Is it? Yeah. Two years. Today we released our first ever episode and that was on the mates.

00:11:20:21 – 00:11:42:21
I think it was friendship. Yeah. Friendship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was fucking way to to to to celebrate. And I've been Alexander can. Well I've got on today wraps. Yeah yeah yeah. Thank you very much. Pleasure to be here. Thank you. So. Oh like your brother did a bit of an intro, but, why don't you, you brothers, do you have any.

00:11:42:22 – 00:12:04:07
They wouldn't have known that. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Okay. Yeah. Flap. Flap and Alex are brothers. Yeah. We all used to hang around with each other in Crouch End as well. Yeah. And then in the glory days, the actual foundations of this podcast were based on that era. Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:12:04:08 – 00:12:31:00
Your flat basically. And Ryan's flat. Yeah yeah yeah. Like you know, it would all go out and have a great time. Yeah. Yes. Very good, very good time. Very good time. So out how would you describe yourself for the for the people listening. Describe myself as in, like artist wise, you've worn many hats over the years. Yeah.

00:12:31:02 – 00:13:07:08
I in terms of what I do, I guess there's, two sides to it. So I might call and help people. So I make music, under the name change what it is. I might be Jingle the North. Yeah. And I wanted to go, Yes, I do that. That kind of janky punk rock stuff. And then the other one, fittingly for our conversation today, when my partner got pregnant, I, I've been doing a bit of coaching in there, and then I've thought about that in the beginning.

00:13:07:08 – 00:13:32:22
So I've got, it's called the wellness punk. It's all about those two strings. Lee Bowyer less fucking guy way less fucking guy. It's called a yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, it's it's wicked, but less is just like the long end of an amazing journey that Alex has been on. Creative journey that spanned all kinds of different genres.

00:13:33:00 – 00:13:49:01
But the music and the is what most people know. Alex, for, from having heard the, the podcast for a long, long time, a lot of people listen to find or come across the that's anonymous now, the sort of sip that the people that the listeners are find called, like the wives and girlfriends and all of the other.

00:13:49:03 – 00:14:15:16
And now listen to this podcast. But they would have, they would have probably heard of, Alex's music before. And he's one of my amazing things. But this, this wellness punk thing is fascinating to me. What what is it like? How do you help people? How do I how do people get involved? It, so it was when I first started coaching, I started doing, particular men's work.

00:14:15:16 – 00:14:41:23
I run in a men's group, and then that it's kind of grown from there. The general philosophy of it is, help in helping you get in tune with the power of your own resourcefulness. So the, the core belief is that you have you everyone has the ability to sort their own shit out. How what are these three kind of ideas, exercises, framework.

00:14:42:00 – 00:15:03:19
But often there's a mirror. Because when you're alone in the world, you can't. You know, you really have to work in the trees and find out what is the direction to go. What are the to take. So yeah, I'll help people create their own system of wellness. If you like their own system of living that work within. So there you go.

00:15:03:21 – 00:15:23:01
I actually had a DM. It's like it's anonymous because, you know, and not an anonymous from a gentleman who did your course a couple of years ago or a year ago. Okay. Who listens to Lahtinen? And he was like, I'm fucking well, excited because you got Allen and I did his course a year ago and it was brilliant.

00:15:23:01 – 00:15:43:11
And he was very, let's just say he was blowing a lot of smoke up your bottom. I'm gonna love it. I'll tell you. I'll tell you who was, Okay. Yeah. We'll pick up whoever that is. Yeah. Yes, I thought that's quality. Yeah. Nice one. What I did want, I like. So we are going to be.

00:15:43:17 – 00:16:08:10
We're just going to be having a casual chat about, fatherhood, parenting styles, that kind of stuff. What I, what I kind of wanted to lead up to that was just a little bit about your, because we're all three of us. Quite, quite different. Lead up to where you were before you had your son. So, like, how do you like where you were living?

00:16:08:10 – 00:16:45:05
Your lifestyle choices, all of that stuff, like it is to panic the hell out of me because I was very, shirt and tie, 9 to 5, kind of guy. Then you live in, in your in a caravan, and then the, was it the warehouse, like the studio? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that kind of journey of where you've been to, I think it's really, where you've come from is incredibly journey to where you are now as a father, because all that stuff and with your own father would shape how you are as a father.

00:16:45:05 – 00:17:07:20
Do you know what I mean? So a lot of people know Flav, and I, and many a time, you know, about our journey, but just about, as a kind of, quick walk through about your. I mean, because I don't want to put words and you in your mouth and stuff. It's kind of like, you were always, not bound to society.

00:17:07:20 – 00:17:34:04
Societal rules, you know what I mean? It was like you just did. You did your own thing. But I'll let you kind of, explain. Okay, so let me, I guess the bit when I find, partner was having a kid, I was living in a warehouse, so basically been had a beam it about the art for a long time.

00:17:34:06 – 00:18:19:03
Yeah, right. When I was about 18, however, I was like, well, I don't care if I die by bed, I'm doing. I'll do my art that was. Yeah, thing I had. Yeah. So that obviously that combined with quite intense drug addiction. Yeah. Let me down a bit of the roach. But so it was a lot about self work for a long time to, to have the confidence to come out the closet, I guess with me are the upfront that this is what I do, because I had a program run in the, from school and all these things, you know, I'm sure some people listening to this could resonate, that you have something

00:18:19:03 – 00:18:44:14
you love to do. Music, painting, whatever. And then someone supposedly teaches or something like, it tells you your shit and you're wrong. You're doing it. Go home. Shut up. Yeah, right. And you listen to him and you listen to him, and it creates a bit of a thing. So fast forward, like, I guess what you said about the society thing, I just it gave me.

00:18:44:14 – 00:19:17:11
I found punk music and squat and rape culture and these kind of things that to me were a middle finger attitude that really, really gave me something a lot. Yeah. And that led me down the road and I guess living in caravans, and enjoying that to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, to me, living the choice of living as a hobo with a bag on your back and fucking up into the woods, if that's what you into, is totally valid.

00:19:17:13 – 00:19:44:07
It's totally invalid if that's what you're bag and that's what gets you going, do it. What got? They got a long term caravan. What should be balls in a Tupperware box? Leave it like this. But when when, my partner's pregnancy came always in a warehouse doing the music, trying to build some sort of Beatles piece, and little bits of money.

00:19:44:07 – 00:20:05:08
And just to be up front, God help me out quite a lot. Like hire me for a podcast. And did you know it was that I was surviving a few hundred quid in that, so very grateful for the help I got on that fucking road. But when the pregnancy kind of like, what am I? Okay, well, I'll get it.

00:20:05:10 – 00:20:21:20
I you hear that a lot. Now, why in terms of like, there seems to be and I, I've, I don't know what it feels like. Right. I don't know what it feels like to be told by the person you love that you're having that going to have your child. What was that? You hear it quite a lot. There's a shift.

00:20:21:22 – 00:20:48:06
It's like, oh, I've got to do. I've got to be something else or I've got to find a way. What is that real? Yeah. Oh, it's like, can it be like a brick? There's a photo of me, in a cafe in Bristol where we've gone, and then I think we've got the confirmation or something that afternoon that was like, this is actually happening and all I've lost in the void, like it's my face completely blank.

00:20:48:06 – 00:21:18:09
I'm like, yeah. Oh, because it is real. Like when the news and to, you know, when the news come, there's lives that you're going to support. Yeah. Fuck. What am I going to do. So I didn't want to give up on to to me being a father or what I learned a lot from my dad was, he, you know, not anyone I decides in college to.

00:21:18:12 – 00:21:42:21
But even devoutly on his own shit like he was doing his projects and just fucking on his mission. So to me, it was important. I didn't lose the musical. Lose the fear. These things I love. So I tried to figure out a way. That's where I thought coaching and helping people with their creativity and doing their own thing could complement the art and it's working out.

00:21:42:21 – 00:22:02:06
Thankfully. So what? So it was just this shift in your brain when you heard it, like, I've got a I've got a switch on. I've got to find a way because I that, you know what? You just mentioned, like the one thing that you've never, ever lacked is an ability to create and do stuff and just get stuff done right.

00:22:02:06 – 00:22:37:09
And the whole world is I found in, you know, my 44 years of being in that the world is full of people that don't do stuff right. They'll say they might, they want to, they'll desire to, they'll want to change their lives. But it's difficult because there are risks involved with doing that. And when you have a family and when you have a mortgage or even a credit card, it can kind of tie you to this commitment to have to pay back or do something that you have to go through something in order to fulfill an obligation that you've prior accepted.

00:22:37:11 – 00:23:09:19
So it it doesn't surprise me, actually, that you've been able to combine these, these two things in terms of make a business out of helping other people to, to, to do the thing they want to do. But it's, it's like, when you're I'd imagine when you're a father of, of a tiny little human being that, that sort of finding that that way to create business out of what something you're good at became like, intensified.

00:23:09:21 – 00:23:31:14
Yeah. Yeah. Well it put a rocket mast with it and one way talking about it. But the main problem to be frank was money. How am I going to get these tokens. I'm in too deep I because I didn't know what needed to be covered. It's just all thrown. It's your total threshold for everyone involved in it.

00:23:31:20 – 00:23:50:17
Oh, I've never in my entire life seen you as happy as you are now. A year in with your boy Amaris. Like you might not know, is it? I don't know if you do, but from my appearance as your brother, when I can hear you hear it in your voice and I see you. I've never seen you so happy.

00:23:50:19 – 00:24:19:01
Is that fair to say? To be pedantic. Yeah, I'll call it. I'll call it joy, not happiness. Yeah. That's fair. Please. Happiness to me is not dependent on me. Got to life circumstances. Not that the choice of joys is an attitude. He's taught me so much about choosing joy, even when shit is fucking hard. How?

00:24:19:03 – 00:24:51:24
How? Yeah. What's that like? Because, Because I'm intensely aware of, like what? The impressions that I give him about the world. And it's not easy. But I don't I don't want to transmit him the knife, pocket knife and shit, and it's difficult, and it sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did mention the one, though. That's a this is the feeling, the energy rather than it, you know, obviously can't necessarily understand what you're saying is the feeling that he's going to pick up can definitely pick up on stuff.

00:24:51:24 – 00:25:15:06
Right. So you got to maintain that that feeling for him and yourself okay. Yeah. And you and yeah know I think you see I think is joy. And it's a choice. And it's like a lot of joy goes into even when the side line if you feel down or whatever, which is it's a choice to lean into that and a book.

00:25:15:10 – 00:25:36:09
Quite a I don't know if you read this, but there's a book by Viktor Frankl called Man The Meaning. But it's a bit of a stark read. But he was in the concentration camp. He came out of that with this, how he went in as a psychotherapist, something he came out with books I could local logos therapy.

00:25:36:09 – 00:25:58:24
I might be watching that. But it was all about the choice of attitude, because what he noticed, the people in that fucking situation, which I don't think any of us can really fully comprehend. Yeah, right. But, there were people dead, found the beauty in the sunset, for instance. And there were people there who completely crumbled, and he pinned it to their choice about a suit.

00:25:59:01 – 00:26:19:20
And that that kind of stuck with me. Yeah. That is that's what it. Yeah. What interesting actually also like a strong statement because there'll be the I'd imagine there would have been a lot of kickback to that. But how you interpret or how you take, stoicism isn't it. It's about how do you, how do you react to what's happened to you.

00:26:19:20 – 00:27:00:19
You can't control necessarily, the things that are going to happen to you. Begin to troll how you absorb that information and how you deal with it and move forward. I think that that's kind of a the areas that I ended up with, you know, that, choosing to have a look at what is actually in your control is usually stuck within, within you rather than the external, I just wanted to, like, go back to, what you were saying, travel about, you know, where that I, when I went through, like a process of all of our partner turned around and said, oh, by the way, I'm pregnant.

00:27:00:19 – 00:27:29:00
And we were like, fuck, man, I've got, you know, I've, I've just remembering when you were saying that as well. I've got photos of, U2 with my misses with have her belly growing, screaming at her belly point and I this fucking load off my eyes, man, I just this is one of my favorite photos of me and I in the thick of it, of me having my first kids that this us that just that still hanging around together and being fucking it is it is mental man.

00:27:29:05 – 00:27:56:20
But what I wanted, what I wanted to ask you, Flav. Right when we were growing up and stuff, and you kind of like, I didn't want kids and just, you know, quite happy, partying and doing, doing whatever. But then you meet your wife, and she has two very, very young children. Like, that is a fucking don't in thing to walk into, you know, I mean, not how was it that you how did you feel about it?

00:27:56:20 – 00:28:16:11
Were you like, I'll just I'll just do this because I fancy this bird at the moment, and that's what I'm going to do. Or was it kind of like, you know what I let's, let's do this. Let's see how this go. Like, I can't imagine not processing that part. I was doing a lot of drugs back then. Okay.

00:28:16:17 – 00:28:36:03
And which meant that I didn't think a lot a great deal about it. And it was a period between breaking up with my long term ex partner and not knowing that freedom to do whatever I wanted to do, which essentially go out and get smashed as much as I could and shag women that that's basically what I wanted to do.

00:28:36:05 – 00:29:05:07
And I did that for, for about I did that for a while, like I was broken up was in this faux open relationship with my ex girlfriend for a couple of years, so I did I had a couple of years and then, so I walked into every single one of these, like, happenings or coming togethers of, just purely on a sort of physical and, nothing intellectual about it really at all.

00:29:05:09 – 00:29:29:17
And then when I met Ollie on holiday again, it was, say, a holiday was a festival. So you can imagine, again, full of MDMA and. Yeah. So you're not really making sense. But I really enjoyed talking to her and everybody I met at that festival, and before that she was, So I kept thinking about her and, and so what we did is it was very slowly.

00:29:29:17 – 00:29:52:01
And I didn't meet her children for six months. And she was really guarded about that. And careful. But we had this really emotional conversation on the phone after about 4 or 5 months. And what I realized this is I have really strong feelings for that, that that this moment where I meet the kids, I kind of have to actually happen.

00:29:52:03 – 00:30:10:20
And I remember saying, I really want to meet them. I really, really want to meet them. And I remember getting she very rarely cries ever, like maybe 3 or 4 times in the 12 years we've been together. And, yeah, she was she was quite emotional on the, on the phone. And then I just met them really.

00:30:10:20 – 00:30:25:15
And I just sort of went with it. I sort of, I didn't care. I didn't mind about being that she had two kids. I didn't it didn't bother me. I didn't think about it at all. I was just in love with her and and I knew she had two kids. She told me the first day I met her in Portugal in a tent, that she had two kids.

00:30:25:15 – 00:30:56:21
So it wasn't. It wasn't something I wasn't aware of. So yeah, I went from being not wanting kids at all. And I honestly think actually that I was kind of brainwashed into that to some degree, because and there's no blame here at all. But my ex-girlfriend ultimately didn't want children. And I just sort of when you're with someone who feels so strongly about that, what I realized now as an adult, looking back at very young, you know, impressionable early 20s that, that I probably was manipulated into thinking that that's what I wanted.

00:30:56:21 – 00:31:24:15
When in reality, as as I'm reaching an age where having kids is probably not the right thing to do. That I wished I had had that, I wish I'd wish that done. It. Well, I mean, no question. Yeah. Go now. And what words go? Well, what's wrong about. Well, hypothetically, what would be wrong with that?

00:31:24:21 – 00:31:34:16
Mr.,

00:31:34:18 – 00:31:57:12
Is that is that to the, you know, I mean, I'm going to be her answer for half or not not not, not, answer on his behalf. But I think like that there's that obviously. You're of an age that where, you know, Ross is had, kids, right. And sometimes it's, you know, it's all right.

00:31:57:12 – 00:32:34:22
Right? It's all right. Thank you. Yeah. So I, I was fucking scrapping him for scrapping it. I was out on the hill. I've got dirt under my nails. My train has come off. I was like, what the fuck? Oh. I'm just realizing as an as an older man, as I'm getting older, that it's just something that I should have done and wanted and would have wanted to do and, because I see it and, you know, the relationships between the child and the parent isn't something you can, you can't recreate.

00:32:34:22 – 00:32:55:05
And it's a magical thing, a wonderful thing. And I think, at my age, I just think it's I don't feel like I would, I don't know, I don't feel like I want to do it. I wish I had done it, and I feel like I've missed missed the missed the boat. And my wife said to me, she's such an amazing woman.

00:32:55:07 – 00:33:10:00
She said to me a couple of years ago that if you want to, we can. We still can. We can 100% do this. But I know she I know deep down that she doesn't want to she would have done it for me and she would have loved it and become a great parent as she has been. And it wouldn't have been an issue.

00:33:10:00 – 00:33:29:14
But I think deep down I don't think she would. She wanted to do that. She's done it twice and and she is a parent, but it felt like she was willing to do that for me, which I was really bowled over by. One amazing, most amazing, amazing thing anyone's ever said to me. Probably. So, yeah.

00:33:29:16 – 00:33:52:09
I also, I don't know how long I don't feel like I'm gonna. I don't feel like I'm gonna reach 85. Right. Unless bit bleak. You said this on this podcast so many times, and I'm like, it blows my mind every time you say it, I don't think. I don't think I'm gonna. I don't think I will, so I do.

00:33:52:09 – 00:34:10:10
I want to, but, I think the one I want to I'm making a choice to bring a life into the world. And what if I don't? And then what? That kid's got what? I don't know, I kind of think about that a little bit as well. Also, Alex, I don't have the. I don't feel young, right?

00:34:10:11 – 00:34:34:08
I don't feel it's a lot of work and a lot of the time and energy and stuff. I just, I've kind of mourned a moment where I could have done done it, and, It's hard to articulate. I don't know how to articulate. Sounds a bit, if you don't mind me saying. Sounds a bit like a kind of grief about something that there's a there's a beautiful word in, this might be inaccurate in Welsh.

00:34:34:08 – 00:34:58:00
I think it's here. I think it's kind of a longing or, nostalgia or missing for something you never even quite experienced. Yeah, I don't think. Yeah, I don't think I realize how amazing it is until I kind of. And I don't want you to feel any way about this, Alex. But when I watch you with Empress, and I've seen my brothers with all their kids, and it felt like none of us had kids.

00:34:58:02 – 00:35:18:07
And then all of a sudden, the kids were everywhere, you know? I mean, like, like my brother has free. Ross has to. Adam has free. Joe's got two. And I remember a time when none of us did, and we'd just go out and get smashed every weekend, right? I don't want to do that. That's not what I'm looking for.

00:35:18:07 – 00:35:45:10
But I'm just like, it felt like everybody created this and I didn't. And I think in, in hindsight, if I'd met Ollie when I was 25, I would 100% have kids now, without question, I would have. But it's not the way life goes. And I just feel like that the I think genuinely having not had it, the most amazing thing is having children is the be all and end all to me.

00:35:45:12 – 00:36:05:07
I think that's what this is. I point if there is any point to us being on this planet, it's having a child. That's the only thing you can do, things you can make, art, you can be a successful businessman. You can get in the best physical shape possible, but in the end, you die regardless of what you've done during your life.

00:36:05:07 – 00:36:26:18
The one thing that remains is your legacy, which is the babies, the children, the child. I think that is the point. And even that in itself doesn't explain anything. But you know, what I mean is that that's how I feel about it. It's really, I can I must cry about every other episode of this fucking podcast. Ricky, stop asking my medical stuff.

00:36:26:20 – 00:36:46:16
It was your brother that asked you. It, don't I like, as a as a kind of, The topic for next week, even before this and what was going to happen, but the, the, the topic for next week is going to be 911 Osama bin Ladan. So what I would love for that one.

00:36:46:16 – 00:37:15:15
Well I'm good. It's good. It's going to be fucking glorious next week. So there'll be no crying unless. Yeah, she won't terrorists. But was going to say out like, I've, I've got loads of questions here and I kind of sorry. Like, well, yeah. The same kind of thing to you. Like, what was your experience when you got the news and things like this?

00:37:15:17 – 00:37:41:01
Well, first of all, I was trying to work out where, my, where my daughter when my daughter had been conceived, the like when did that happen? Fucking, you know, and all that. Like. And it was one of, funnily enough, it was one of Ryan's party nights. Ran this flat, went back, I mean, done a fucking obviously off our heads.

00:37:41:03 – 00:38:06:03
But I was living in London. I was I was 29 years old. I was like, I've always wanted to be a father. I knew that from a young age. But like, my dream was always to to go to London, make it to London, be in London, live the London life, be be with the missus and all that.

00:38:06:03 – 00:38:39:13
That. And then I had this kid and I was like, fuck, I'm not going have to do this in London. There is no way I can bring a kid up in London. And then all those things kind of race around. But to be honest with you, I could. It was one of those things I knew that I always this is one thing that I knew, that I wanted when, when I was younger, my sister, had her first boy, Tate, in 2000, so I was, I how old was I then?

00:38:39:18 – 00:38:59:14
I would have been like 18 or something like that. And I was cradling this little baby, this little baby. And I was watching TV and I was just like, I want this, that, I want one of these. This is fucking. This is mental. So I always kind of knew knew that, that I wanted to be a dad at some point.

00:38:59:14 – 00:39:21:03
But then when you're 29 and living the life that we were living in London, I was like, this is not a time. I think I realized that so that the news came to you in the midst of the big pill day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty much. Yeah yeah yeah. Okay. Yeah. Both to, if we can, we can say this.

00:39:21:03 – 00:39:38:08
Rick. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah. Just you use off your nuts on MDMA. Yeah. We were. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Well, I, I didn't realize I had to do that. Yeah I know, I know, but we talked about this before. Yeah we have. Yeah, yeah. Stop flinging it up when you have an MBA. Yeah. Nice.

00:39:38:08 – 00:40:10:10
Give us a good carry. But yeah. So obviously there was a there was nerves. There was the money thing as well. We've had quite a few people emailing as well, but they're about to become their fathers and they're just like a bit worried about all of it. And we've had, a couple of people that, you know, have emailed in as well about, where they're going into with the, you know, stepdad situation and they don't really know how to handle themselves.

00:40:10:15 – 00:40:37:23
They don't know, you know, with the ex-partners. And what's their role as in, can I discipline that boy? Can can I, can I give him values? Do I stand back? Like, where where is my place in this? So there's been quite a few people that are in both, both sets of where we all are. And like, no one really knows what what they're doing and how to how to get through it.

00:40:38:00 – 00:41:03:10
And I've got oh yeah, I've got all these, questions here. I don't care about them because I was not really interested in, when you're talking to you out is like, it almost feels like I'm talking to a therapist. But it feels like I'm talking to someone that is quite in touch with their emotions. And I knew that this kind of pod was going to be about that.

00:41:03:12 – 00:41:31:17
And what kind of really interests me is the the relationship that you have with your son. And maybe I'm quite interested in your, how you would not discipline him, but, you know, behavior boundaries and stuff like that because I'm very uptight. And if I was, I'm actually, I'm not very uptight. But back in the day when I was walking with my daughter, I'm walking down the supermarket and she lays on the floor and she's kicking off and I'm like, you fucking.

00:41:31:17 – 00:41:58:20
You fucking go on fucking back. And you in a minute, you fucking get up now! Oh yeah. Oh it's cool, I go, I is on a yes. Yeah. I'm doing my best to fuck fucking with, Lucy. Right. Get up. But I dunno, I just assume that you're. I don't know why. It's like if your son was misbehaving, you would be more.

00:41:58:22 – 00:42:29:20
He's just in his emotions. He's just being himself. Like, let's let's take a step back. Let him be whoever let him deal with what he's going through. And then, you know, like it's that, right? I'm just assuming that. Or is it you still kind of like. I mean, obviously you would be like, don't fucking steal and don't like, be racist or don't be like, you know, but I just I'm just interested in your, your, your dad was quite strict, I think when we were growing up.

00:42:29:22 – 00:42:52:07
Yeah. Like to Ricky's point. Okay. I'd like to ask God, what do you do? You take any learning from it? That's not a bad thing to say. Do you take any learning from how you as a parent, do you go into it and go, because I, I do my kids, I think things that I wasn't happy with as a step with my step parents growing up, I tried to do something different for them.

00:42:52:07 – 00:43:15:20
But do you do you take that anything into it? Right. Alex. Yeah, I think that's, the name of the game in it. Yeah. And then the game and then I think, I'm assuming my son will play the similar game review, review his experience of me and take what was good and hopefully grow it and what wasn't that good.

00:43:15:22 – 00:43:44:22
Nip it in the bud will change it. Yeah. The old man was, Yeah. Strict. But I I've got a great plan, but I work with kids on one just term one, so. And it could all change if you have it been any discipline of what does it need to be? But for one, I, sometimes I put them just in the oven for a bit.

00:43:44:24 – 00:44:11:24
For a bit, yeah. I don't turn it on. I'll just, Oh no, no, no, nothing about that. That was a joke for anyone in this. It take that quote out and whatever, but, no, it's only one. So I think at the moment I read some, something somewhere that up until five, three, it's kind of the little royalty, right?

00:44:11:24 – 00:44:36:15
The grains are still for and everything's about them, and it's, it's less about, district boundaries. Like, no, don't do don't cross this line. It's less about that and more and guide that. It's just so they're done. So well and they don't, themselves. And so at the moment and the example of that and the other so he'll, a reach up and try and touch the hub.

00:44:36:17 – 00:44:59:12
Right. He did a couple of times. And obviously that's, that requires some kind of boundary. Yeah. So instead of guys know and doing you're wrong. What we tried to do is you know, it's either go like that as if, like the noise you'd make if someone burnt around. Yeah. Yeah. And he would even pull designed, but it shook.

00:44:59:13 – 00:45:21:13
And then you started crying. But you seem it seemed to work all right, because. No, you look at the oven, they'll go, oh. Ooh. That is, that might might be kind of noise. So yeah, I, by no means perfect. Like, because like, that, Sydney meal was quite strict and militant in a lot of ways. Do you remember?

00:45:21:13 – 00:45:50:02
Can out go outside. Can I get buckets of cold water to not do that? Yeah I do, I do. It was why why haven't I run it a little live now there's a lot of. Like But hang on a second. We just came up with something concise. Come on, give me some context of that. So we used to go to a caravan in, in Essex every weekend, which was, which is good fun, but it was just like getting away from London.

00:45:50:02 – 00:46:08:15
Right. And it was just. It's quite nice every weekend town, like a little tiny holiday. Anyway, there was no running water in the caravan, right? There was a, tank which you could draw drinking water from, but you couldn't like. It wasn't like there was. It was like a static caravan. Right. So it wasn't plumbed into the mains or stuff.

00:46:08:17 – 00:46:27:13
So I had 2 or 2 things. One, it's it was about kind of resilience building. You'd go out there and you'd have freezing cold water trapped on you, and you did feel good off that. You felt exhilarated. Right? Weren't like it was a mean thing. It wasn't intended to be mean. And the second thing is, obviously it's water and you'd have a good wash afterwards as well.

00:46:27:15 – 00:46:56:16
So it wasn't like without reason we were having freezing water for it. I suppose that context is really important. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I just said this thing of yeast you haven't eaten. You did not roll bucket time. No, no. It was strict, so I. Yeah. So basically, in relation to my son, there are times where I see that pattern in me of, a bit of a disciplinarian and stuff like that.

00:46:56:17 – 00:47:23:19
So you're trying to be a bit aware of it and, no. Like, God, sit tight. Will work and try and adapt a bit. What maybe could be better. I not my, my old man. He will be listening to this. So I've, I've got to be careful what I say. But first of all you're a dick.

00:47:23:21 – 00:47:45:05
There you go. Have that. You can hear that now I have. No, but I was very kind of, what I used to do is I used to be mean to my daughters, like. And it would only come out of, like, pure frustration. And I knew my youngest daughter. I hated being called a baby. Oh, stop being a baby.

00:47:45:07 – 00:48:05:04
And it would only come out when I needed her to do something. And I would do it. And I knew it upset her, and afterwards I just wanted to rip my own skin off and be like, why have I fucking done that? And I learned myself to catch myself doing that because I knew what I was doing and I was like, fuck, why am I doing that?

00:48:05:04 – 00:48:34:05
Like. And it's like a learned behavior, like my old man, he would've done it to me and my sister. And it's like, it's that thing of that's what I grew up with. So then I kind of like, you know, like, you know, you're a product of your environment, a product of your parent. And so then I would do that and then I was I realize that, you know, because my daughter, didn't bring our plates down and, you know, that that's what only a baby would do, that like you were a baby.

00:48:34:07 – 00:48:52:19
And I was like, I could just see the heartbreak and the sadness of, like, But he. He thinks I'm a baby, and I need to do. But I'm not. Did you stop bringing this stuff now? She didn't. She fucking still. Doesn't she fucking, like, six years older from when that was.

00:48:52:21 – 00:48:55:24
I should have kept up with that.

00:48:56:01 – 00:49:13:03
I, that regret I've had as well. Like that parent regret. And, this is something you. This might be helpful. Alex is that. And you you you say these things? I Ricky said stuff about a baby in the youngest, youngest ever, youngest. And that he knew that it was going to hurt her feelings. And he did it anyway.

00:49:13:05 – 00:49:34:06
Yeah. But you were trying. The end result was a positive one, which is you're trying to get her to be responsible for taking the fucking plates down, right? Yeah. We also, and catching myself knowing that what I was doing, you know, I could have gone throughout my entire life doing that exact thing and just not even and just really kind of destroying her could have been damaging to her.

00:49:34:08 – 00:50:01:15
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you've already damaged or. And the damage is done. Yeah. I'm hoping it's the second one that would build some resilience in her. But we. So you have this moment where especially with. So in this instance similar to your situation Rick, where the first child typically seems to be the most studious and willing to please and want to stay in the parameters of, the rules.

00:50:01:17 – 00:50:25:08
Oh, yeah. Me. Right. And the first and second child slightly different. The once feral wants to do things on their own, like the the me and Alex, the first child. Second child. Oh, yeah. 80s the second child syndrome. It's obviously because I've always done it. I've always been much more comfortable inside the lines. Right. Of of of of what I think I should do.

00:50:25:10 – 00:50:52:15
And that's what I wanted to be and want to be. Whereas Alex is, by all the things he's already described, wasn't like that. And so and often the second child in my experience is harder to parent because they the conventional ways of pairing don't work as well. So the same with Will different doesn't want to go Khloe very happy in the lane and be reactive.

00:50:52:15 – 00:51:09:01
Doesn't want to be told off. Is willing to please and will do the things at school not to to do homework. She doesn't want get in trouble, right? She doesn't want the consequences of not doing it. Whereas Will was I. I don't give a shit about the consequences, so I will do it. The tension every single day. I ain't doing my fucking homework outside of school.

00:51:09:03 – 00:51:23:18
And in a way, as an outsider, I'm like, okay, you know, fair play, right? If he's willing to accept the consequences, fine. I don't say that to him because I'm trying to. I just I don't know why I feel like that. Least you have to push back a little. A little bit. I don't know, maybe not. I'm. Maybe I'm doing the wrong thing.

00:51:23:20 – 00:51:47:19
But there have been moments where I've snapped at him and have really regretted, and I've really thought about how often to my correcting him, is he going to get a point where I'm doing it because I love him, and I want him to be able to, I don't know what I want, really. I just feel like bad behavior has to be corrected.

00:51:47:21 – 00:52:10:12
If it is bad behavior, if you're being disrespectful, it has to be corrected. And even if it's uncomfortable, if you're preventing someone else from seizing an opportunity because you don't want that opportunity, that should be corrected. There's right and wrong stuff that's, quite binary about, not wanting to necessarily, you know, give everything at school because he finds it so tedious and boring.

00:52:10:14 – 00:52:35:15
That's less of an issue for me anyway. So the growing up, kind of feel like there have been moments where I've been so in quick succession, like in a week I might have shot him three times because he's done something. And at the time I had a really big I actually had some, I would say less counseling, but more life coaching about this issue where I would bring up my mate who had gone through this is parent of six kids.

00:52:35:17 – 00:53:05:14
His father was, an alcoholic who died when he was very young. And, and so he's gone on to be a life coach and do good stuff. And I remember speaking to him about it and getting really help, like, just so that I didn't feel so bad about it. And how to control myself going forward. So it was it didn't go beyond being, discipline it, the disciplinarian to the point where he feels worried or scared or sad.

00:53:05:16 – 00:53:23:00
And that was really hard to get to that point. I think we've got there a lot of great relationship now, and I don't think he resents being a hope. He doesn't. But there have been times in the past, I think I might have gone over the top that would lead to resentment. So that would my experiences. But fuck that.

00:53:23:00 – 00:53:53:16
That resonated with me then, because my I have exactly the same, right? Exactly the same with my youngest. And what you've just described there. Well, and my and my oldest daughter, if she had a problem to like, she would WhatsApp me straight away or call me or whatever. My youngest I, I don't know if she would and I don't know if she would feel like she's just gonna get shout out or she's just going to get and I've all I've, I have so many conversations with her saying that I get frustrated.

00:53:53:16 – 00:54:13:08
I'm never angry. Know, I just get a bit frustrated and my might be a bit vocal. But if there's anything ever going on in your life like I'm, I'm the first person behind you to support you, not tag me in and I'm fucking there. Like, what will will attack it together. But no matter how many times I say that, I'll put that point across.

00:54:13:10 – 00:54:36:16
I think she'll always go to her mum and she would always be like, I can't tell you because you'll be just going to go fucking mad. So I don't know whether I've kind of broken that trust already, or she just feels like that's just going to go mad that, you know, that's what that's do that the grumpy kind of just man sitting there.

00:54:36:18 – 00:55:00:20
Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. No yeah yeah yeah. So yeah it's yeah it's tough. It's fucking tough being a parent man. But Yeah, yeah, that just made me realize, you know. And so that's easy to do with, blokes, a mother daughter duo like, they have that, well, feminine bond. Yeah. I think you might be right, man.

00:55:00:20 – 00:55:29:20
Yeah. Because they are very, I would. You know what I'd say my eldest is, is very I mean, she's quite equal, but she is not a proper daddy's girl. My youngest straight a straight to her mum in any circumstance. But I remember my my sister when I was growing up, she was very, mothers go, I think a lot of a mother daughter relationship so very strong out.

00:55:29:22 – 00:55:54:14
And they kind of, Yeah, they would go to also like, they have. Donna is so soft. She is so soft. Yeah. Ricky's the Ricky's the one that has to go. No. Yeah. He's gone. Just. Yeah. What? I yeah. It's every night. Yeah, yeah. For crisp crisps before 9:00 in the morning. Come on. It's basically potato innit.

00:55:54:16 – 00:56:20:17
It's basically potato. So you might as well. So you know the, the, no the little one Alex has that a so she finds school a lot more difficult than her older sister. And so they have this sort of reward system. So, yeah, if you do stuff, good stuff, you get green stickers. If you do bad stuff like lip or lip after the teacher arrive at your lesson, like you get red stuff, right?

00:56:20:22 – 00:56:40:21
But Ricky was like, if you get more red stars and green stars, you can't have the tree at the weekend, which is a McDonald's. It was like, you can't do it. And just for weeks, she just couldn't get she couldn't say she won't. She went about six weeks about getting a McDonald's. And she loves a McDonald's. Right. Eat.

00:56:40:23 – 00:57:02:14
We said if you get more than three red stamps, it's a no go, no go. And then she finally, got I think she got two red stands. But, so she was, you know, rewarded with the McDonald's. But the other day, oh, it's like, I don't know, would have given it a McDonald's every week. I mean, j easy does it doesn't he probably doesn't even know this green and red fucking thing exists.

00:57:02:16 – 00:57:25:08
It's just you have to try and draw a line. And I thought, bad guy, but someone has to be the policeman around there. Yeah. The other day, I was like, I was walking to school. This is fucking Monday, right? Monday morning, walking my daughters to the bus stop. It's 7:30 in the morning and I walk them there. And I'm saying to my youngest, I'm saying that right, let's do this.

00:57:25:09 – 00:57:52:17
You know, the red stamps, the red stars or whatever. Please skirt down. It's easy. All you got to do is have a skirt that is acceptable, like your sister. Like, just just have it to where it's supposed to be. Stationery. Just. Just have the stationery ready. That's easy. I will literally put your pencil case in your bag, write your calculators in there when you were like, don't backchat to teachers and stuff.

00:57:52:19 – 00:58:11:19
Just when they say it, just take it and that's it. You'll be fine. I'm telling her all these things. She's like, yes that, yes, that. Yeah, absolutely. And this was at half seven, her first lesson. 920 I looked on the app. She's got a red thing because she hasn't got the stationery out. And I'm like, I'm trying to help you.

00:58:11:21 – 00:58:33:16
It's not I know I know it ain't there full. No it's not the way their brains work. They're not engaged. But I think shit about the skirt, they don't care about the stationery. No, they like Will. It says these things and it he doesn't. He just doesn't care. You don't want to be there. And that's hard to follow the rules when you just don't want to be there.

00:58:33:16 – 00:59:01:18
I respect. Yeah. You need to come on air with you. You didn't want to be at secondary school, did you, mate? Nine nine. Oh, the charity. Doing that. That's horrible. What did you say? It's horrific. You terrific man. What? Did you hate it that much? Yeah, yeah I've got I mean I've got on but I, I it was just bad.

00:59:01:20 – 00:59:30:21
It was bad. It was just. I think you creatively, I found it creatively oppressive in the, in the end, that turned out alright for the better. But I can't quite, yeah, it was suppressive of creativity. It just loads of bullying, loads fights like, just kind of a just, I don't on reflection and just knew that it's an environment.

00:59:31:01 – 00:59:53:18
I don't think it's good for children. Yeah, yeah I think London school's out. I would say mine was identical. While it was violent, it was horrible. It wasn't conducive to a a learning environment at all. Which is why it's amazing where you live. Alex and Ricky's out of London as well, I think. London, honestly, I wouldn't want to bring a kid up in London.

00:59:53:18 – 01:00:22:18
I really wouldn't. No, no no no no. I think one thing it definitely gave was a sense to them ultimately sense of independent, commercial, street smart, like learning how to not the triggers that and I and you know how how people can be how they kind of can gang up how, how you how not to get your head kicked in as well, which is, is a valuable skill.

01:00:22:20 – 01:00:41:24
We actually spoke about that last week. Didn't mean, was it last, pop culture. And when you go to the pub, you learn about the boundaries of people and, you know, different characters and how you can say that you can be with and what people can switch up on you and just being aware of your surroundings of, oh, yeah, it's fun.

01:00:42:05 – 01:01:07:06
Yeah. So I'll just say it's one thing I've been thinking about. Obviously it's still early years, but, against the context. I'm now in south west Wales and we just got a place in, near somewhere called cardigan. But we're in the sticks. We're going into the wood stream ballroom. You all know. Yeah. More remote than me on that.

01:01:07:08 – 01:01:35:14
You drive slightly, but it's right. We're in the Bluestone Mountains, where, the Preseli with some of the stones from Stone time, from, whatever it is, I. Whilst I have such a beautiful upbringing, I'm really grateful to the journey in the. There's a need the key to be able to operate also in environments like London. I don't not go there and be like, oh my God, this is I haven't got, you know what I mean?

01:01:35:14 – 01:01:46:02
So I do think like how how will I expose him to, baby club, baby Fight club that regard. I'll just.

01:01:46:04 – 01:02:09:03
I've just I've literally just come up with that. That's what we need, Alex. That's what you need. That's what we do. I think I'm in the right place to do it. We won't be bothered by a build. Nothing. No. Find a clearing? Yeah, yeah. Very clear. Cut the scaffold poles for a ring, mate. Might be a little much better this year in.

01:02:09:05 – 01:02:38:10
The in the fight club. It's just you and your son. That's the only people in the club can having it. Baby fight club. Right. Throwing on club. Yeah. I was going to say, we, I'm going to be going on it. Does anyone else, anyone else want to. Was it any of the questions that I sent over that you wanting to get off your chest or that you wanted to talk about or anything like that, or you just quite, quite happy?

01:02:38:12 – 01:03:00:19
Not none spring to mind. That's good. No, no, I fly, mate, I, you know, I just tell response the monster. It was a rabbit. No, no, it's fine. You don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah I can, I can I can I just say something? No, you fucking can't. Just, just quickly, just quickly. Is that, critically? So just kidding.

01:03:00:21 – 01:03:24:14
If anyone thinks of trademarking Baby Fight Club, I've already done it. I've just done a and also, when I got a bit emotional earlier, that's not to suggest that I don't completely value my stepchildren now I do. I love them to bits, I do and, one of the greatest things about getting into relationship with my wife is and I didn't know at the time that they would be a part of it.

01:03:24:14 – 01:03:51:09
And I've gained two kids that I didn't have before. I would have, and it's an amazing thing. And, I'm grateful for it. And yeah, step parenting is a very different thing, I think, to having a biological child. But it it's no less rewarding. I don't think so. I just wanted to say that I don't think anyone I don't think anyone would have, thought that anyway, so there's that.

01:03:51:09 – 01:04:08:04
But we've got that grass that keeps grassing up. You know, the podcast. I don't know someone. Someone listen to the podcast crossing with you up to done. Yeah. Yeah. Well done. His mates. Yeah. And I can't. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Listen, I know, I know, you're listening. Snake in the grass. Yeah. It's because he put grass them up.

01:04:08:04 – 01:04:31:12
Because he put milk in his bolognaise. And, no, I still it's weird, but apparently quite traditional thing. It is. Yeah. Yeah yeah, yeah. So milk. Yeah. And the sauce. Yeah. And she's got message messages. Donovan called Ricky an animal. Is that what you're doing in your household? Yeah, yeah. So, Okay. Yeah, we know you are.

01:04:31:14 – 01:04:55:06
What you want to eat, right? We all got we're going to do a someone, you know. Right. The topic for next week is like, we did the Titan, the a submersible, I was I'm not a yes. I do them make people keep sending me fucking videos of nutty party stuff. She's not nice. I bit people, but people stuck in caves.

01:04:55:08 – 01:05:17:06
People stuck in caves. We did that entire episode of people getting stuck in caves, right? Google the nutty Putty incident. It's mentally I mean, maybe don't. Okay, it's it's dark. It's very dark. We did we did an hour insane. And the Titan submersible, you know, the Titan that went like that. Yeah, yeah, we did an hour and not.

01:05:17:06 – 01:05:55:20
No, it was good. Yeah, well, the billionaire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there was a kid in there as well. Not. Not a little kid. He was about seven. I'm not sad just because they're billionaires. I knew where you're coming from. Okay? Were billionaires. When they say fuck. Oh, so next week we are going to be doing like. Like I said earlier, we're going to be, talking about nine, 11, Osama bin laden, that everything to do with that, there's actually someone that listens to this podcast, and I know I'm talking to this person right now, and, I will I want to do a podcast with them, an episode with them.

01:05:56:00 – 01:06:20:03
But they were in one of the towers that it was collapsing. They were in one of the towers. And as they're running down the stairwell, rocks and everything was collapsing over their head, and they managed to get out. Kane. Yeah, that is fucking heavy in it. I've got a day of school for that digit decay. His. Oh, yeah, we got it when I got the day of school.

01:06:20:07 – 01:06:44:02
Why did you get the towers? What do you I, I, I get married, I feel it's not a real get out of it. Second towers go down. Go, go. It was fucking crazy with it. Yeah, I meant the time. I was watching neighbors, and, it just switched over to the two towers, and one of them was on.

01:06:44:04 – 01:06:57:23
And you watch the way it was. Talk about this next week. But you watch the second plane go in. Most surreal, you know, is this a film? It's meant mental. Well, so we got him coming on next episode. Well, no, he's not coming on. I'm not saying that I know I'm talking to him. That that I will get him on.

01:06:57:23 – 01:07:13:21
Why don't you get him? Surely it makes sense on the 911 podcast to get someone who was in the towers on the park? Yeah, I you know what? I'm, I'm going to message him after this to see if I. Come on. Is he in America? He is in America. Yeah. All right. Well, who do you talk about this after?

01:07:13:23 – 01:07:41:20
Yeah, yeah. So we're going to be talking about that. If anyone has any experiences or want to share a story about 911, send it in to lads. Anon pod at gmail.com. The something I you know, it's called horny hung over and horribly regretful. Yeah. Go into that now. Just a quick message, Tom tom thing. You know.

01:07:41:22 – 01:08:06:22
What? I fucked up a four second gen jingle. Well, if you click a click nor liberate. So you just started hearing in the read for. No. All right. So click one button. I'm writing it. I ain't. Yeah that's fine. Well we'll leave it. We'll leave a slide okay. Hi, lads. Love the pod. Some of your dirtiest stories got me thinking about fucked up stuff I've done when horny.

01:08:06:24 – 01:08:37:12
From fucking duvets to keeping cum cups in my bedroom drawer when I was 16, because I was too lazy to get tissue to having a wank in the shitter at work because I was bored. We've all been there right? In my early 20s, I lived with my girlfriend and her parents. I work nights at the time, and I always found myself super horny when I was practically asleep and deserved to treat myself after a hard night.

01:08:37:14 – 01:09:05:24
One particular morning shattered, horny, and after a few lonesome post-work beers in bed. Tragic. Horny. I notice at about 8 a.m. everyone had left the work for house, my girlfriend's parents included, with my tired hands wrapped around my cock. I started imagining what it would be like to fuck my girlfriend's mum. Now it's wrong. It wasn't attractive. She wasn't attractive.

01:09:06:01 – 01:09:34:21
She was in her mid-sixties. And on the larger side while living there. I've seen her walking around in 90, and it's not the best of sites. But in my sleepy haze, I thought, fuck it, I'd probably do it for the balance. Now, while I might be fucked up, I'm not that fucked up. The next best thing I could think of was having a wank in her worn granny pants.

01:09:34:23 – 01:10:07:11
So I did exactly that. I went into her bedroom, rummaged around through her washing basket and found a pair of dirty underwear. Now how do I know they were worn? Well, I made sure to find some of that nice crusty crotch in the Nicorette area. I inhaled them and they and then wrap them around my cock. I stood in the bedroom with their pants around my cock and quickly blew my load into the post wank.

01:10:07:13 – 01:10:33:22
What the fuck have I done? Settled in and I questioned everything about myself. What the fuck am I going to do with these granny pants covered in, covered in all dried crust and my cum? I quickly ran down the stairs, grab a carrier bag, put them in and hide them in my work bag. When I wake up, she's made me dinner and asked if I slept well, yes, I did, thank you.

01:10:33:24 – 01:10:54:22
If only she knew. On the way to work that night, I pulled the carrier bag out of my bag, out of my work bag, and launched it into a field at which I was driving at 60mph, never to be seen again. So when you come across some random underwear in some bushes, you never know the story behind it.

01:10:54:24 – 01:11:21:18
And that, lads, is something only I know. So we've just had a really wholesome chat about parenting and, yeah, I mean, people need to get it. Well, I mean, she was a parent, so she's. Yeah, she's all connected. I do, you know, I once knew a lad who did something similar. He was he went to a rave and he went to rave.

01:11:21:18 – 01:11:41:07
Of all these people, they stayed in a hotel. He went back early and when they all got back from the afters and it was like 6 or 7 in the morning, they open the hotel room, door, and he was in bed and they were, oh, like, I don't know, Dave's in beds and not well. He's got a weird smile on his face, one that we been dreaming about.

01:11:41:07 – 01:12:02:10
What he's been looking at, and they kind of, like, pulled the duvet down and just to see, they pulled it down further and he was naked, but he had a pair of knickers wrapped around this. Oh boy. So obviously it been on the gear, got horny, got these knickers and started cracking one off. And then one of the girls that found him was like, there my knickers.

01:12:02:10 – 01:12:24:16
Yeah, they're my knickers. And he woke up obviously incredibly embarrassed. And the sad thing about it, these groups completely lost contact. No one heard from him after that. He was so embarrassed and ashamed of what he'd done. He just. Yeah. Just. Just left you with a solid relationship. And if he hadn't done that. Yeah, I was making him.

01:12:24:18 – 01:12:40:16
I mean, that is fucking. Yeah. That is a, you know, to be found in that predicament. The way that Blake describes everything, it was the right. Yeah. What's the historical story of it? I mean, it just made me feel a bit sick inside, right? Yeah. I mean, it's weird, and it's not even like the the mother in no way fit or anything.

01:12:40:16 – 01:13:13:02
No. Hello? What have you. Why have you done this? He must've been really horny and really, just, like, let's just let's see what I want to do. I want to get a sample of you saying super horny. I is super horny. Super. That was a bad one. I think the best. The worst one was the bloke who thought he might like to, hook up with the bloke on grinder and, then turned up with a Holiday Inn, and the bloke didn't quite look how he said he looked.

01:13:13:02 – 01:13:37:18
In fact, he was sort of like a late 50s, chubby, chubby Greek bear. Yeah. And, but he didn't want to be in polite society. I'm off anyway. Yeah, I the, the whole lot of him, because there were definitely no cameras in there. He said he just did his mouth and then spot it in the sink and then walked out the hotel room and then decided, no, he wasn't the guy.

01:13:37:18 – 01:14:02:03
After a great, kind hearted man didn't want to be raid. Yeah, the proper British. That is proper phrase. This has been a great job, guys. Yeah, it has been. It's been a brilliant episode. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Next week, 911. Sending anything that you've got to, lads. Anon pod at gmail.com. Patrons, if you're this well you are listening.

01:14:02:04 – 01:14:23:20
You're going to get this podcast now Friday the 23rd which is our two year anniversary. So you get that as a present. Everyone else, hold on a second one day. Hold on a second. Well, if anyone wants to, access Alex is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry sorry, sorry. I'm the only time I will say sorry.

01:14:24:01 – 01:14:44:16
I didn't say sorry for any for that. Yeah. She doesn't, he doesn't. But, Alex is, probably since Alex's, life coaching then. Oh. Is that the wrong word, isn't it? But you're. Yeah, that's the coach. The link is in the description below. Send the link to, to Ricky. Thank you very much. Yeah. Everything will be linked to that social.

01:14:44:22 – 01:15:09:21
Everything will be linked in our, Spotify Apple podcast description. We will be Alex. Everything. If Alex is willing, we should get him on again to talk about when he walked 140 miles to in crossed rural England and buried a cooker in a in a in a wood land area. It could be got very weird. It's such a good story.

01:15:10:02 – 01:15:29:19
It's such a good story. 140 miles is mental to what it was about. That was. Yeah. Yeah. If you if you're willing that was that would be a great that's a great podcast there I'm guy. No. Yeah I appreciate you having me on to be a good man. There's. Yeah I know and as you said that and when you were talking the art and the art and how you feel about.

01:15:29:19 – 01:15:51:09
Yeah I would love to do a another part what you want for loads pods. Now if you guys want your fucking coming on again. Right. So that's that everything. Yeah. Anything to and anyway in our Linktree on any of our social media login on, you'll see our Spotify playlist there so you can find his music.

01:15:51:10 – 01:16:00:13
No clicks on that shit. Rick, do you want a beer? I'll fucking. I'll show you the stats that they do. All right? And try me. Yeah, I will. Right. See you later. Buh bye.