#147 | The Unwritten Rules Of Male Friendship

00:00:02:13 – 00:00:16:12
What? I've seen the video of the policeman kissing the geyser on the floor. He stabbed the two Jewish men in Golders Green.

00:00:16:13 – 00:00:39:02
Yeah, and as a human rights lawyer, he's come out and said that both it needs to be looked at and potentially that the police should be charged with attempted murder. You're right. They should have murdered him. They should have kicked harder. As hard as they should take harder. One should have held him down, kicked him repeatedly in the head till he died.

00:00:39:04 – 00:00:55:08
He literally just stabbed two people. He tried to kill two people who were just minding their business. They should have kept kicking.

00:00:55:10 – 00:01:03:08
I think if you seen someone stab someone else.

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Yeah.

00:01:19:21 – 00:01:54:19
I think it would be fine if they kicked him to death. I genuinely do. I don't, I don't like this. Things in life that are above the law, and watching someone stab someone else who was just going about their day bothers, you know, they did. They they didn't pass, did they? They're both the. Yeah. Fathers sons. Just people who have been stabbed because of their faith and because of what's happening in elsewhere in the world.

00:01:54:21 – 00:02:19:03
100% without question. You're within your rights to stamp on that Jesus that he did. And I'm not I'm not saying it's a policing evil. I'm saying anybody should be able to do that. The if if it turns out. Well, no, I mean, in that instance it's his job to to to to to to hold him down. But they know it's the guy who stabbed him.

00:02:19:03 – 00:02:38:14
Just keep kicking. And the people go, well what if they didn't realize? Then if they make a mistake, then. All right, fair enough. Let's, You kicked to death for the wrong person. You might need to face some charges. This now, but they. But I knew is the right one. It's like Judge Dredd. You know, Judge Dredd, how Judge Dredd works in the comics.

00:02:38:16 – 00:02:43:24
He's everything. He's the policeman. He's the lawyer. He's the judge.

00:02:44:01 – 00:03:59:00
And he makes a decision there and then on the street, right. That they're gone, they go. Go. And he just blossom with his gun.

00:03:59:02 – 00:04:26:00
Okay, that's if everyone would. If everyone would stop being a cunt, we'd be in a much better position when it. And that goes for cunt policeman as well every. So if you just just stop being a cunt. You're trying to get on. We're trying to like I don't know, I don't think we need more vaccines. I think we need more viruses.

00:04:26:02 – 00:04:48:00
This is a good way to frame it though. This is someone posted on Reddit said in terms of like excessive force and the policeman, we should always be prepared to ask the question. Was the level of force necessary? We should also be prepared to accept the answer yes and the fact supported. If the answer is never yes, asking the questions is pointless.

00:04:48:02 – 00:05:04:12
If you'd seen someone stabbed trying to murder two people with a knife, there was no such thing as excessive force. Like if they had a gun, they should have shot him. Yeah.

00:05:04:14 – 00:05:29:07
Right. In America, if someone's not wielding a knife or running a policeman, or it's just stab someone and they shoot him dead, that's the it. I know there's, like an investigation into what is correct. And there's all things. There's processes and safeguarding processes, and sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. But if they feel under threat or they feel powerless under threat, they have the right to take someone down with a gun.

00:05:29:09 – 00:05:47:23
Our policemen don't have them. So if they do, they have against this guy whose murder has a murderous intent is their hands and feet. So he so he took a couple of kicks to the head. Don't go around fucking stabbing people.

00:05:48:00 – 00:06:16:12
Like, oh, get out. Yeah, I think they all have tasers. Police. Maybe. I've seen submit. Yeah, I've seen some Atkinson not be affected by the sizes. Just walk through a.

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Live.

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Yeah.

00:06:39:17 – 00:07:03:15
Why not in the legs I think maybe the legs are hardest hit. Yeah I know, I agree with you. I never quite. Yeah, but it's. I think they just aim to. I don't know, man. I mean, know, just trying to aim at the chest. The biggest area.

00:07:03:17 – 00:07:32:23
It's not really an issue with the police is it's an issue with in that instance it's just an issue of gun control in America. It's mad. I know I was speaking to someone the other day. His name is, Is that mental on the phone to read? Sorry, sorry read. Since I read, he's, is finding them been chatting recently about some bits, and, he said there was a there.

00:07:33:02 – 00:07:57:10
They're watching the Spurs and they can move on. Recently, Wolves? Yeah. And some guy took, the gun off a police officer and shot both of the police officers dead just outside or near the bar where when we were watching the game. Wolves game? Yeah, I.

00:07:57:12 – 00:08:52:24
Think, I might have missed parts of that story, but. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

00:08:53:01 – 00:09:22:06
Yeah. I just, I was browsing Facebook while the jingle was going, and there's a guy who's Samuel Warner Devizes. And he's killed 14, jailed for 14 years for carrying out predatory series of assaults against a three year old tour. He's free rider, free month year old daughter, three month old daughter. I think they've made this our part of heard about that.

00:09:22:08 – 00:09:57:01
That happened in this town. No, not sexual, just it says carry them off. Carrying out a predatory series of assaults against three month old daughter Mia or not, the investigation established that Warlock inflicted fatal some, you know, terrible stuff. He's saying to me in this town of, like, 3000 people that someone murdered a three year old child, and I didn't hear about it, but that would be front page news within their.

00:09:57:03 – 00:10:07:15
So, does this make him match up? Is this real? Maybe. I mean,

00:10:07:17 – 00:10:45:08
Yeah. Shouldn't you? Maybe it's true. Seven. Oh, this is me. But everyone knows about this. I didn't know about it. Until.

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Yeah.

00:10:55:15 – 00:11:17:00
Is that what it's called? The official. It's called the massive US1 Osmonds market. Love it. And bitch. I don't know why God.

00:11:17:02 – 00:11:31:20
What did he do? Fucking. I was just in the road. So if he.

00:11:31:22 – 00:11:43:16
And was the appropriate amount of force for a man with a machete. Exactly, exactly.

00:11:43:18 – 00:12:07:10
No. Yeah. Like that. That's it. You brought a machete? Yeah, I got money. It's on. You got to you. You know, it's one thing like, you know, what is it, grown man? Now, that's a scary because, like, the kids during games and stuff, like, there's a reason that they've got it. They feel like they need it for protection, whatever it might be.

00:12:07:12 – 00:12:30:02
And they're not necessarily stabbing up people who are, you know, affiliated, but a grown man that sort of like, is there some sort of mental health going on still?

00:12:30:04 – 00:12:46:23
Say to death, this man kill someone? Whatever. Okay. Yeah.

00:12:47:00 – 00:12:56:13
Yeah. No more. I better face.

00:12:56:15 – 00:12:59:12
What what how?

00:12:59:14 – 00:13:05:18
Oh, no. I.

00:13:05:20 – 00:13:30:18
Oh my God, I know a friend of mine. I don't, That's a friend of mine. Acquaintance. Someone I used to, you know, there's someone you meet and you just, like, get on pretty well, but you never friends, but you just get on this guy. Who? Quincy's a design. He would design jewelry when I used to work for exposure, and the.

00:13:30:18 – 00:13:51:03
I always suffered from the heart burn. And then he had, like, a ruptured you. I think he had, like, a ruptured aorta or something. Yeah. And he died at home, and his mum came back for a weekend away and found him, obviously with a ruptured aorta. You just for me? Blood everywhere. And it was a terrible scene. Apparently.

00:13:51:05 – 00:14:02:05
Yeah. Jesus. What we talking about?

00:14:02:07 – 00:14:11:22
Housekeeping.

00:14:11:24 – 00:14:23:24
Yeah.

00:14:24:01 – 00:15:10:09
Yeah. Yeah.

00:15:10:11 – 00:15:54:07
No, no.

00:15:54:09 – 00:16:04:03
What did he say? What did he say? I didn't post it.

00:16:04:05 – 00:16:43:17
Yeah, and then you ruined it.

00:16:43:19 – 00:16:52:02
Oh.

00:16:52:04 – 00:16:57:04
No.

00:16:57:06 – 00:17:05:23
But.

00:17:06:00 – 00:17:21:02
Then I don't know what it is.

00:17:21:04 – 00:17:29:06
Yeah.

00:17:29:08 – 00:17:37:06
So what is.

00:17:37:08 – 00:17:46:00
Yeah, yeah, I've got it here.

00:17:46:01 – 00:17:49:12
All right. Ready?

00:17:49:14 – 00:17:52:15
If it's offensive.

00:17:52:17 – 00:18:11:01
If it's racist, we keep it in. Five. It's racist.

00:18:11:03 – 00:18:21:13
Yeah.

00:18:21:15 – 00:18:34:21
Oh, I don't know what that is. I don't eat, All right.

00:18:34:23 – 00:18:50:01
This says United at the end. Hi, Robert.

00:18:50:03 – 00:19:12:02
Fuck. You know, I don't know what I is. I was supposed to react to something ineligible. That's because struggle starts that sleeping.

00:19:12:04 – 00:19:22:16
It's just the noise. That was just the noise. It could be anything.

00:19:22:18 – 00:20:02:02
The also.

00:20:02:04 – 00:20:53:04
Sir, bro, code is like something that exists. Regardless of how strong a relationship you have with that man. True friendship is a different thing. But if you like, you would be expected to lie for your male friend in the event that he got caught cheating, even if it's on the periphery. So you're you're allowed. You're supposed to do things that are perhaps unsavory or immoral, because there is this sort of thing that exists where you have to, you know, back up your male compatriot.

00:20:53:06 – 00:21:19:06
Yeah.

00:21:19:08 – 00:22:02:16
Fentanyl. I, I, I, I don't think, I don't think I would I'm not I've not been affected by it or don't do it. I wouldn't do anything consciously to honor the bro code. I think it's stupid, right. But if my friend is cheating, I'm not sure I'm telling his missus. I'm definitely not. In fact, probably.

00:22:02:18 – 00:22:11:03
Yeah. Rather getting angry at something you didn't date.

00:22:11:05 – 00:22:17:23
Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I'm just.

00:22:18:00 – 00:22:55:12
No. That's different. I mean, look, if you like. I think in the instance, if you asked me to enact some sort of broke, I don't obviously do it, but I would hope that we could have a conversation where I might be able to talk Iran to being a nicer person.

00:22:55:14 – 00:23:04:02
Yeah, but that's not what that bro code is. Don't tell my wife I'm going to check this bra.

00:23:04:04 – 00:23:29:23
It's like the broker. There are some people, some into believing it so strongly that you could be like, there's a bloke you're going out with my sister, but you're also shagging a prostitute. But this is some member thing actually broke up. Means you. You can't tell your sister. Because I have.

00:23:30:00 – 00:24:27:14
Yeah. Yeah. She's nuts. And does,

00:24:27:16 – 00:24:39:13
Did, That's none of your business either. Is it?

00:24:39:15 – 00:25:16:21
I think generally people should just mind their own business. More or less. Certainly in other people. Do you have no idea about what's going on? Right. So, right. Unless someone asks me for advice, I generally don't comment on other people's relationships or what they're doing. Lot of people do often ask me for advice or anything, but, yeah, so I just think you should, you know, if you that's what they want to do and there will be eventually be some consequence for that.

00:25:16:21 – 00:25:43:08
But it's none of my business. If it's if it's something like, oh, I know that this man's hitting his wife, that's different. Right? Yeah, but that's not saying something like that. Then when you have the power to interfere and prevent, then perhaps you should do that then. But but yeah, generally like if you know that a man's cheating on or wife's cheating on it, that just I don't know, I just I wouldn't get involved.

00:25:43:08 – 00:26:02:15
I wouldn't pass comment really. I don't know if there's a mate even then I said this is out of order, but what can you do? I mean, it's, it's something he they if they want to talk to you about it, they can but they might want to figure out he needs to get something out of your system, whatever it might be.

00:26:02:17 – 00:26:19:08
And then eventually their relationship gets better and you go into like, a hand grenade just gone, right? This is what's happening. Everybody needs to know. Don't know.

00:26:19:10 – 00:26:45:08
No, no I don't. That's not. Yeah. Do you, do you. Sounds like I'm supporting it. You crack on. I'm just saying no. With you it's different. But if it's like, I don't know. I don't know one of very few people I'd get involved in. Like, if I knew lots. Right? Like, we we've known people, and they're not we mutual acquaintances.

00:26:45:08 – 00:27:13:06
So you have, like, building relationships, but they're also just just shagging around like we didn't interfere. Then. And probably wouldn't now. So. But it's not about bro code thing. What is it? What else is it? What else is broken other than just lying to your mates when they check other people?

00:27:13:08 – 00:27:50:07
I don't know, I've just googled it here and it says loyalty. Having your friends back, especially in social situations. Respect not undermining or embarrassing each other unnecessarily. Boundaries. All right.

00:27:50:09 – 00:28:53:19
What? What?

00:28:53:21 – 00:29:19:17
Yeah, I think, I don't know, I think you just there's there's things you would share and there's this thing. I think anything my people find interesting, I might share. Like, I have a mate of mine, his wife. He's, worked, cheated on him and spent a lot of time talking to him over the last few months. Yeah, she cheated on him.

00:29:19:17 – 00:29:45:22
And, but left basically. And they they broke up and stuff, but, so I would tell my wife that that happened, I guess, and say, what do you think? But if if someone had asked me not to say something, I wouldn't have done.

00:29:45:24 – 00:30:01:11
You tell Donna everything. Yeah. Then. Yeah. Yeah. Like if I cheated on Ollie and our relationship broke down, you would obviously tell Donna.

00:30:01:13 – 00:30:08:00
Right.

00:30:08:02 – 00:30:15:10
Yeah.

00:30:15:12 – 00:30:27:22
Yeah.

00:30:27:24 – 00:30:36:03
Yeah.

00:30:36:05 – 00:31:07:09
Yeah, I, I I'm not into that till tell and gossiping and stuff. I don't get anything from it. Lying people slagging other people off constantly. I don't get anything from that either. But some people revel in that in bad news and sharing bad news. I don't know where it comes from or what it is, but no, like, if someone's breaking up, this is all this is happening and he's cheated in it and their lives are falling apart and they're reveling in it.

00:31:07:11 – 00:31:11:19
Do you enjoy it?

00:31:11:21 – 00:31:29:14
Having information?

00:31:29:16 – 00:31:40:18
Yeah.

00:31:40:20 – 00:31:52:15
What do you mean?

00:31:52:17 – 00:32:10:14
Have you got some some? Yeah.

00:32:10:16 – 00:32:27:20
Yeah.

00:32:27:22 – 00:32:57:06
What? Inside the grip. But I think you you kind of do. There is. There are some groups. Yeah. Every WhatsApp group is slightly different, isn't it? But, you know, there's a line. But the fun is. Can I step over that line? Not too much. So everyone thinks I'm odd, but enough to make people go laugh or whatever it might be.

00:32:57:08 – 00:33:18:10
So, yeah, I mean, like, there's the longer you've known each other, the better it is. But it's up to some groups. There's one. There was the quote from in and the one bloke, it was just post like a horrendous video of something like someone being run over or a bloke being electrocuted in India or something else.

00:33:18:12 – 00:33:35:19
Hate them. And the people are always right. And, you know, he's posted it and the generally no other comment with it. It's just dropped in there. There you go. I've seen this, so you've got to see it. Right. And you can always tell if it's going to be a bad one somehow. But your brain's sort of the, the sort of the video you can kind of things.

00:33:35:19 – 00:33:44:05
It's like someone's going to die in this video. I just know it.

00:33:44:07 – 00:34:07:21
But you know, he, he, you know, he's he has it in him to post out. So you're always a bit wary of him.

00:34:07:23 – 00:34:24:07
Yeah. Because you can get that wherever you want it. The back in the day, like Jim Portnoy's doesn't happen. I think that needs a little comeback. There's enough time past now.

00:34:24:09 – 00:34:45:09
When was the first place you got done? Have you been, like, in front of the wife and kids? Is always a bit awkward. Like, they kind of know now, but.

00:34:45:11 – 00:35:11:21
That.

00:35:11:23 – 00:35:30:04
Yeah. Yeah, I've done that with my, you know, I've done it with my brothers lots of times. Yeah. I mean, yeah, they, they've being a knob or the, they're overstepping the mark or being offensive or. Yeah. All the time. My dad also.

00:35:30:06 – 00:35:57:03
Sometimes gives a bit too far.

00:35:57:05 – 00:36:23:19
Like what racism.

00:36:23:21 – 00:36:45:07
Yeah. Do you think sometimes like a relationship, a group gets to a point where everyone knows you're joking. So it's kind of like all right. Yeah.

00:36:45:09 – 00:37:12:16
Yeah.

00:37:12:18 – 00:37:42:18
Well, in terms of in relation to a broker, I don't assume that it would. Yeah. Be like you. Yeah, exactly. So is this sort of damaging or not? I guess. Yeah. Yeah. It's like.

00:37:42:20 – 00:37:57:17
I found that also. So no, I didn't I thought it was already like, I picked up on it because it's on the news and stuff. I didn't watch any of it, but it sounded like they were hated each other.

00:37:57:19 – 00:38:02:24
Yeah.

00:38:03:01 – 00:38:33:13
It kind of feels like it's run its course a little bit. It's run by. So there was this. So Jimmy Bullard did, He pulled out. They're doing a of group challenge and some. This went way up. I don't know what his name is. Adam. Something he's in a soap is so pat. So just went mental. I'm forgiving up.

00:38:33:15 – 00:39:18:14
Right. Did you think it was over? Like.

00:39:18:16 – 00:39:35:08
Yeah. Saw that bit clip.

00:39:35:10 – 00:39:43:07
What do you mean, on purpose?

00:39:43:09 – 00:40:18:22
Yeah.

00:40:18:24 – 00:40:37:14
I was, but he didn't say that. Then he said you you've quit. And I was in there and, like, it felt like he was, like, angry at Jimmy Bullard. But is it so? Was that like a a reaction to the bullying, or is he just because he didn't look like in that confrontation, it didn't look like. Yeah.

00:40:37:14 – 00:41:35:08
Yeah. No, I'm saying Adam didn't look like he was capable of being bullied. In fact. In fact, in that instance, he looked much more like the aggressor in the lot, sort of a will it a little bit.

00:41:35:10 – 00:42:06:13
I don't know really. I don't, don't think so. I think I think if you think what the environment that David Haye and, Jimmy Bullard would have grown up in and developed in them, and became proficient in these like dressing rooms in it's sport, it's masculine. It's very sort of male orientated and dominated. And so they would have been comfortable in that situation with, you know, and there'd be no normal to sort of pick on people.

00:42:06:15 – 00:42:32:11
And it happens in, in groups, in male groups now, like an outside if you don't know the dynamics of the group, you would assume that someone was being bullied and that they felt victimized because of it. But in reality, it's it's group dynamics and if just if there's a if there's anything of a bro code in this instance, it's that you know, where the line is and whether or not that person is enjoying the banter anymore.

00:42:32:11 – 00:43:02:07
Like you, our group, everyone can give it back. There's no one that doesn't give it back or it gets offended in any way. I can't. I can only think of a couple of times where someone said something and upset someone else, and generally it's the same person that gets upset so and only lasts or takes it a little bit harder than those, so yeah, I think banter and that sort of stuff is a massive part of for any male friendship group.

00:43:02:07 – 00:43:14:08
Yeah.

00:43:14:10 – 00:43:41:13
You're right. Oh yeah. Loads. Yeah. Like, no, like if someone's gone over the top or if I can feel like it's having an impact because not loads like every week I'd say maybe 2 or 3 times. And then I was thinking about other times in like, we've had people that, that follow the podcast and they like damaging the group dynamic that people especially like in patron and stuff.

00:43:41:17 – 00:44:14:08
There was there was a lot, who was on in our patron and on Fight Club. And there's a lot of frustration around football at the moment, but people messaged me outside of it and saying, this guys can't see far. And I'm like, I had to. How do you solve that situation? I mean, so when when one of your mates goes above and beyond what you should be saying, then it's probably good to go and just privately gauge, you know what?

00:44:14:08 – 00:44:22:03
This is having an impact and yeah.

00:44:22:05 – 00:44:42:07
It didn't actually respond to the message. No he didn't. He must have seen it. He didn't respond. And then he left for a different reason. For, you know, he's either left or he doesn't post anymore, but, it wasn't it wasn't the end of the world, really. I think it was upsetting people. Yeah. But the,

00:44:42:09 – 00:45:24:13
Yeah. I mean, there's been times when I think banter around you is gone too far. When we were younger, much younger, and I'm not going to say specifics, I'm just going to say that. Yeah. I'm that it got.

00:45:24:15 – 00:45:30:21
Well.

00:45:30:23 – 00:45:53:02
I've. I've ever seen you cry, Ricky. You might try life. Try more. Go on. Remorse. Break down.

00:45:53:04 – 00:46:24:00
Yeah I think the because the what was happening I you was involved in a group that you come to the group and so, I felt responsible to some degree because, I brought you in, and I don't say any specifics because no one knows this person. But he said some stuff that he found really funny because of that was the tone of banter, and it didn't it wasn't just restricted to you.

00:46:24:00 – 00:46:45:06
Ricky at the time was doing it to some of his friends that were different of different colors and races and creeds and different and stuff like that. He he thought he was just being funny, basically. And cocaine and beer would do make you say you do things that you didn't normally do. And I had to say, because I'd brought you in, I felt responsible.

00:46:45:06 – 00:47:06:00
And now you've been subjected to, even if it was funny, you know, comes from a place where someone's trying to be funny. It might not. You didn't take it that way, and you didn't appear like you didn't take it. I just thought, it doesn't matter how you take it shouldn't be said in the first place. And, And he doesn't listen much.

00:47:06:00 – 00:47:16:16
But he listened to that, and he apologized, didn't he? Which is.

00:47:16:18 – 00:47:26:23
A couple of times. That was the only time I can remember. With the same person.

00:47:27:00 – 00:47:51:01
Okay. Yeah, I don't remember, but, that's good to know.

00:47:51:03 – 00:47:57:16
Yeah.

00:47:57:18 – 00:48:24:18
I think so, but if it's if it's in, like what? So we say, mum, I know you want to say my mum's is like, okay, mum, I'm honestly the best. Is the best. Let's talk about some, some of my mates. I'll stop saying like the other day use. You just got around your mum and said to remind you.

00:48:24:19 – 00:48:29:02
Mum shows me £20.

00:48:29:04 – 00:48:51:00
And then whatever, mate, he's mum's poorly. I'm not talking about his poorly mum. I'm talking about the fictional character I have in my head who is his mum. That doesn't exist. But he'd always go low and say like, my mum, he's got stage four cancer. Yeah. That's a you're. And I'm like, I'm starting to think it's not true because she's had that for a lot since I've known him, and I've known him for about ten years.

00:48:51:00 – 00:49:06:12
He still got it. Yeah. It, Yeah. So mum's a fair game. Hundred percent. Like there was a time in school where you mums would be like. And now you go, you're not allowed usually cos someone's mummy's on. My little.

00:49:06:14 – 00:49:25:15
Yeah. Now it's the first place you should go. But I love the fact that everyone was alright with like mum jokes. But my little brother Alex was never right with my jokes. The yeah.

00:49:25:17 – 00:49:39:22
He. Yeah. Yeah. So my mum's, Yeah. No. Why is that different?

00:49:39:24 – 00:50:02:08
Well, it was I know what you're saying. The so we, I was, I was talking with Lee and someone else. I won't say his name just in case he doesn't want to, because this is private jokes that aren't for the public is in inner circle jokes where you can be as crude as you want and everyone knows it's cool right?

00:50:02:10 – 00:50:21:11
But he said that he is I. The wife's away. Yeah. And I get a couple of boxes in them. And he's gonna. And, he says, well, my wife's back tonight, so he don't have time. And this other person, when, it's the same thing in it. Free that way anyway, which gets back, which is.

00:50:21:16 – 00:50:43:11
And then I'll say it out loud, it's horrible. But, but but when when he's in the chat, it's like, funny that he's kind of pushing the buttons. And he went, that's my wife. You're talking about, which made it even funnier.

00:50:43:13 – 00:51:04:09
I had less funny. It's less funny.

00:51:04:11 – 00:51:12:23
Yeah, that's not on.

00:51:13:00 – 00:51:41:03
Well, there was there was one. There was a moment I seen recently in the group where, again, no specifics, but, someone said something about a wife, and that person took exception to it, whereas if it was a mum and this person said, if mums are on, mums are fine, but wives are not fine. Yeah. And he wasn't even cussing is it was about someone else's wife and he was like he had but it was about him.

00:51:41:07 – 00:51:47:09
But it's complicated. But yeah.

00:51:47:11 – 00:52:04:24
Yeah, kids are fair game. I think. Yeah, I don't know, I, I wouldn't be, I don't know, maybe, I, I would generally stay away from kids and wives. I.

00:52:05:01 – 00:52:21:16
Know.

00:52:21:18 – 00:52:49:05
You should never. Yeah. You should never be in a position where you have to ask for it back. But, you know, don't put your friend in that situation. But. Yeah. No, it depends. If it's like ten a unit, forget about it. Never ask for a ten. About you. Remember that ten of you own me. So I, I wouldn't anyway, but but anything over like £20, I think that's fine.

00:52:49:08 – 00:52:53:00
Make it £20.

00:52:53:02 – 00:53:03:15
Yeah.

00:53:03:17 – 00:53:25:14
I don't. Yeah, they should I if that's the etiquette. That's etiquette. Like the people that go, I'll stay on my own. It's like, you know, don't come out in your party. You you part of this group or not. And if someone home can't afford it, then they're still in the round. It's fine if you just don't have to pay.

00:53:25:16 – 00:53:58:09
That's how I would go about it. But.

00:53:58:11 – 00:54:20:03
Yeah. You don't have to drink here. Just hold that one round. This I won't I'll stay out of this one. But. But you said.

00:54:20:05 – 00:54:35:09
I wouldn't lie, I wouldn't I couldn't give a shit if you wanted to or not. My, I'm up a bit of the area. No, no, if I may have been a time where I would have called. Come on, stop me. But now I'm like, fuck, you don't wanna have a drink? Then have one. Like, it's fine if you wanna have.

00:54:35:13 – 00:54:49:01
I mean, I'd feel a bit uncomfortable if you're sitting there. Have a pint of water. I've got to say that.

00:54:49:03 – 00:54:56:02
You would.

00:54:56:04 – 00:55:24:19
You know what? No. You be. Yes. No, no, no, but no one wants to do the beer water thing. But you. Yeah, I know, but you're. You've always been a bit like I don't. I have a fanny on. I repeat, I do. I don't know if, if they're, if they're worse than your hangovers are worse than mine.

00:55:24:19 – 00:55:50:06
I don't know, but yours. Yeah. No, I wouldn't want to go out. I'd have a massive after for four pints. What? I want another pint of water. No, give me a whiskey. Oh. Yeah.

00:55:50:08 – 00:56:15:19
That. Yeah. It's when you get home with it. Really? Just fucking get up. Yeah, well, we all feel awful, awful, awful this morning for some reason. I'm here.

00:56:15:21 – 00:56:31:11
Yeah. Broke out. I think I wouldn't care less then I'm not. Would I do it? No.

00:56:31:13 – 00:57:01:12
Some. It depends. What you feeling like you've fallen in love with this person, then? I wouldn't shag one of my mates. Sex is just willy nilly. But if you feel like there's a relationship in the future to be had, then yeah, of course, because what difference does it make what your little feeble ego can't take? What I'm saying, someone that you used to, you see, you problem.

00:57:01:12 – 00:57:23:00
I think. Well, there's a case in point here. Again, no names, but someone I know is really, really good. Friends with my ex girlfriend. They're not doing anything, but I wouldn't mind. I only care if they did. In fact, I'd. They would have my blessing.

00:57:23:02 – 00:57:44:20
What? No no no no no. Yeah, well, it doesn't matter, because no one knows this person is. But I just don't want to say it. But yeah, they would have my they would have my I wouldn't mind. I the he's a nice bloke. She.

00:57:44:22 – 00:58:11:05
Yeah. If I'm doing that thing like what if you died and I was like I'm taking Donna and the kids on. It really. Wouldn't.

00:58:11:07 – 00:58:40:00
You. I can't tell if you're joking. I like it. Is it? What about me? If it was me. Okay. What if you're alive? And I fell in love and I fell in love with Donna? Yeah, you just split up. And about three months later.

00:58:40:02 – 00:58:44:24
Was it.

00:58:45:01 – 00:59:07:15
Oh. What about, like, four years after? But you. So you wouldn't have. You wouldn't have a problem then? It depends. If you're still loving, if you still in love with the person, that's the problem, innit?

00:59:07:17 – 00:59:38:07
You know. Yeah. Of course. Probably. You know, some sort of connection that wasn't up. Yeah. Not realized. You know, often, often. I think you can't. I think there's a conversation where men and women can never truly be friends, because typically the man would always want to to to this, this, this is the energy from a man is different than it is from the woman I think can be right by,

00:59:38:09 – 01:00:02:19
This is what I say when I look at Donna. I don't see a female. I just see my mate Donna. So that idea that they can't be a platonic relationship between a man and a woman is nonsense.

01:00:02:21 – 01:00:22:15
It's just nothing. Yeah.

01:00:22:17 – 01:00:43:11
Yeah. I don't know, man. I don't know the. And the thing is, is as well is that I. It's like we've got really good friends. Simon gestures. You'll be listening to this. It's you just. It's just it's something that would exist in a bro code. Kind of, toxic masculinity kind of conversations on men and women can't be friends because there's always.

01:00:43:13 – 01:01:06:00
It's like you. I don't see them as females or males or anything. I just see them as my friends and my mates say, yeah. And Robin as well. Same as it's the same. It's just nothing. It's just I think as you mature, it becomes clearer that that is the case.

01:01:06:02 – 01:01:10:09
Yeah.

01:01:10:11 – 01:01:17:11
Yeah.

01:01:17:13 – 01:01:22:11
I'd rather give you a blowjob.

01:01:22:13 – 01:01:29:10
Don't ask me if you're my friend. You wouldn't ask.

01:01:29:12 – 01:02:09:00
Yeah, yeah. The, Don't ask me is your mate. That's what I'm saying. Don't ask. Yeah. Just manage it. Yeah, you should. But what if you really don't want to? So if I offer, you should say, don't worry about it, but it should.

01:02:09:02 – 01:02:14:20
Yeah, yeah. So where what?

01:02:14:22 – 01:02:33:12
What, you, just moved house and you didn't offer. Did you? You did an offer, I don't remember. This is the point. I don't even remember. Where where where I'm just me and you.

01:02:33:14 – 01:02:45:14
All right, what do I search? Maybe.

01:02:45:16 – 01:03:08:23
Yeah, I, I think we might be moving house next weekend. I hate this house. This is what you said. And then nothing. And then I'm not lying. Look, it's right there. I hate this. You said I hate this house. And then next day, you free at 11 for the preview? Yes.

01:03:09:00 – 01:03:25:13
Well, what? I'm. I'm sorry. It's moving. Maybe. Or something else. Move, move move. House search. Are you 100% confident?

01:03:25:15 – 01:03:50:11
Yeah.

01:03:50:13 – 01:04:21:05
Yeah.

01:04:21:07 – 01:04:37:02
Yeah. Something like that. Yeah, yeah. I mean. I think it's a mark of a good friendship. A strong friendship.

01:04:37:04 – 01:04:56:20
No, you just need to make. You don't have to cross any lines. You just need to make the person to where they are seen and that you are there. If they need to help. But what I realized as I've got older, I felt for a long time that if my friend needs help, I have to fix the problem.

01:04:56:22 – 01:05:17:17
If they're struggling with their mental health, I have to find a way to fix it. And this comes from, you know, stuff from my previous relationship. You know, for a long time, a lot of difficult years in my previous relationship. And it was always my aim to fix it. I. How do I fix this person? What do I need to do?

01:05:17:17 – 01:05:49:00
And obviously the answer is I've never found an answer. I didn't know how to fix it because you can't. All you can do is offer a network of support, foundation, a base for that person to potentially fix it themselves, or at least just communicate how they're feeling. And so when I realize I don't need to fix people, all I need to do is be there or listen or then probably not even offer solutions like I've learned a lot.

01:05:49:02 – 01:06:13:09
A lot about about a relationship because you can't offer what you can offer practical advice, guaranteed how to do how this this work for me, but generally it's just being there. You just have to be there. And that is it. From from a man's perspective is quite difficult to it took me a long time to realize is that I wanted to wanted to fix I wanted to make better.

01:06:13:10 – 01:06:35:21
I wanted to, I wanted to take the pain away. And then, you know, maturing is realizing that you can't do those things. You have to just be there and listen and offer and say, you know, just just be there, basically. And eventually people work things out.

01:06:35:23 – 01:06:41:20
Yeah.

01:06:41:22 – 01:07:18:06
What's what's next bit.

01:07:18:08 – 01:07:27:04
What bridge. How many of we had.

01:07:27:06 – 01:07:46:15
Yeah. But we can we we have five each or we can, we can swap over. All right. I'll have to do some research and I probably have.

01:07:46:17 – 01:08:43:12
The.

01:08:43:14 – 01:10:40:03
Sorry.

01:10:40:05 – 01:10:52:22
Lovely. That's great. Unless we use the word necessitate as well. Was given. I don't think I've ever used that word in my entire life.

01:10:52:24 – 01:11:05:05
Yeah.

01:11:05:07 – 01:11:20:23
No one's wasted. No one's reading that shit.

01:11:21:00 – 01:11:49:17
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the some of these websites have just become an absolute. It's just impossible to use. Like, there's there's one like the mirror. Awful. Like mirror. The mirror. I could see anywhere they can, I guess, monetize. I'm not sure. You know, interestingly, you know, when you sometimes have to do, like, the captcha word to prove that you're not a robot or I do, you know, sometimes you get prompted and sometimes you don't.

01:11:49:19 – 01:12:15:07
And the reason why you get prompted is because your mouse movements haven't been random enough. Before you click the, login button, right? So if you want to avoid doing a reCAPTCHA or select the amount of traffic lights that are in that, yeah, you just move your mouse around erratically like a robot would. If you're moving in a straight line, you're much more likely to get, checked.

01:12:15:08 – 01:13:34:14
So you just squiggle the mouse around before pressing and generally don't get checked. Yeah.

01:13:34:16 – 01:14:22:23
But no.

01:14:23:00 – 01:15:12:24
The.

01:15:13:01 – 01:15:36:14
Brilliant.

01:15:36:16 – 01:15:50:11
I, I mean, I probably wouldn't tell them, actually.

01:15:50:13 – 01:16:45:01
I. Yeah, definitely. I mean, I would be kind of conscious of, conscious of, you know, the teasing and stuff and probably wouldn't tell,

01:16:45:03 – 01:16:45:09
Is.