#26 | Stag Dos, have you ever pushed it THIS far?

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that we prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band is how we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise.

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Hello and welcome to lads anonymous is episode 26 a podcast with two best mates? I've over 20 years invite you to join their safe space where all manner of subjects will be discussed. We'll focus on a specific subject matter first and then answer your questions, dilemmas or need for advice. All handled anonymously. So sit back, relax and enjoy the pot.

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I said go five. I was quickly wanting to start the pot, then I completely forgot why. That is fucking well. What is it? I'm. Wait. I'm waiting for a parcel right here. Me? Can you remember what the parcel was? Fishing tackle. No fucking. Oh, aftershave. Aftershave? Yeah. That's it. And you, you were banging on about. You still wearing cold water?

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Like, I. I still wear cool, for men. Yeah. That's that's my daily. That's my daily spruce. You know, if, I've got to go to the shops or got a go to the kids school night, I go, when you see teenage girls go, wow, cor, that was it. Was it? What's the name of it at that?

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Yeah, yeah. Abigail. I used to love it. What are you talking about? How do you know the cheese? They love what they say, right? They thought it still does it does it make a week and an easy on us? Hey. It does. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, course it does. The fucking weird thing about it is my dad loves it as well.

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So he started buying it to me. My 72 year old dad just sold him round. Oh, I mean does and women passing. Look at the both of you guys for a. Yeah. No, my weakness was when I was a teenager, John Paul Gaultier for women. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah. Lord. Yeah yeah yeah, I wouldn't, I never thought that the ascent could turn you on, but it makes sense.

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Yeah. There was a girl I fancied deeply fancied. And she said, yeah, I think that's maybe it. There's. So there was that call for women in Monaco. What? None of them wanted me when I was a teenager. It, it's. I mean, I did you still have the long blond hair, then? Yes. Right. Okay. Maybe everyone didn't like that.

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The handsome look. Yeah. No, it looked awful when I look back, it it looked terrible. But popped up. Yeah. So not only me, my brothers, Ross and Ryan, they also had long hair, long blond hair. Did they really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, they were sort of skaters there in the skate, you know, way. Yeah. Ross that like, you know, Jay and Silent Bob.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Ross looked like as a kid. And Ryan actually more, more, more. So Ryan looked like him. Jay I, I wasn't expecting that guy back to. I just, I just want to get out of the other aftershave that I bought. Wave. Cool. Was, Lacoste red. And again, that is a when I was a teenager, I think I was wearing that, but that still is really you kind of.

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I've got like, I'm not saying this too, but I've just I've got about ten different of the shapes. But like, maybe one day when I'm earning the money and I can. No, it's not about expensive. My it's not about money. It's, it's collection of collected over time. I didn't buy them all at once. But because you have you collect them so well every six months I might buy a new one.

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But you know, using a bottle of champagne, a bottle of aftershave in six months, unless you spray it on every single day. I don't spray it on every day. I said, if I'm going out. But over that, since, you know, I last 4 or 5 years, I've collected about 10 or 11 bottles, and I can smell different now at the bin.

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No one my favorite, though, at the moment is Giorgio Armani. It's quite an old one, but it's just lovely and fresh. You know, I was using the other day because I've run out of aftershave. Your mum know? You know, if you know my mum, you know, it was, next, you know, you get the five samples, next. The little tiny, tiny.

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But it was like a thimble where I was having to dab that on my neck because I. I just didn't have anything. I just didn't have anything. But what did you need it for? What, were you putting aftershave on for it? Because I was getting my. My week has just been filled with going to my children's school to watch sports stars, Aladdin plays and all of that shit, man.

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And it's just, you know, I can't wait to. Actually, you don't want to smell like a tire. You know, you want to be respectable if you want. If you want an affordable aftershave, then I could go buy the one you said on it. Yeah, I love it. It's like a staple. You can't go wrong with it. I really like more of my clothes.

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Just smell of it. I can then what I haven't sprayed in neon, but it's just that because I use it so much, I can just smell it on me. I might buy it and then just start using it so it really Fox River. I've, got an announcement. She's not pregnant again, is she? She's not pregnant again.

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Better than that, Chloe. Better than that. Spotify followers. No. Look, we danced a lot. The last update. It's the last one. It's done the last one. So, as you know, I've been on this campaign to get as many followers as I can or to get as many five star ratings on Spotify for lads anonymous. And I just, you know, 1000 was just in my sights.

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I could see it, I could smell it, I could touch it. It was just there. Good. Look, it looks good. I'm looking at it now. Thanks to all of you, Laura. Thanks to you lovely fucking little legends. We have just broken the back and we now have over 1005 star ratings on Spotify. And I just want to say thank you so much.

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This is a good look. Is it looks good if someone's come I need this podcast or if you find a podcast you type something in. Someone might type in Ghosts and Supernatural podcasts and now find this podcast that has like 25 star reviews. That's just the mates of the blue. And it made that podcast thousands quantifiable. Yeah. No a no, not even been going six months yet.

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So thank you very much to everyone that has that's done that I know it's a pain in the ass, and this is going to be the last time that you'll hear from me, but we've got a new campaign, which I think you. Rick, I do, actually, I don't know if this is, this is interesting to you, Rachel, or to the audience, but Apple have changed the way they deliver up their podcasts now.

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And if you have if people on auto download on Apple and they haven't listened to the last five episodes, they automatically take you off auto download and they stop pushing your podcast. You fucking. Are you kidding me? Yeah, because you know why? They don't want their their device is being clogged up with podcasts that people are not listening to.

00:07:38:18 – 00:08:01:04
Right? Right. So that's better. Yeah. Well it's annoying for podcasts. Yeah. Yeah. That is that is annoying for podcasts. So if you're an apple and you don't want to lose being pushed a recommendation from from Apple, then listen to the podcast. That's what you gotta do. And you'll always do those like one. Well, one thing I back in the day, I always thought Apple was I've got an apple.

00:08:01:04 – 00:08:23:11
Fine. I thought Apple was the the King reign supreme. Looking back at the analytics Spotify everyone's Spotify is just absolutely nailing them all your control. Know where the Apple plays. I know where, whether it's just that Spotify do it better. They do it better than anybody. It's a better system. It looks the user experience is better, it's faster.

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You don't have to deal with a clunky podcast app. Everything's there. They've nailed it. I don't know if they're still I think they're still hemorrhaging money. But, you know, as long as I stick around, maybe. All right, let's go. What is today's topic? Just one more thing before what we're talking about. Today's tech days. Okay? Lots of funny stories.

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Lots of interesting stuff to talk about. Yeah. For that, Ricky calls himself some sort of fisherman. He reckons is some sort of, My favorite hobby is fucking fishing. I've never seen him catch a fish. I think he might have caught. No, there's a couple of, like, little tidbits that you can touch with plastic rods that you can buy down the sweetshop.

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You're a prick. But show me the fish rig. I've showed you loads of fish. No, no, I'm not talking about going with your dad or going with young who actually knows how to fish. And then you get to hold the fish he caught. I'm not talking. I was talking about that rig I'm talking about. You've got all the gear.

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You ain't got any fish. You sad day when you're so excited I set the alarm. I got up 5:00. You said you find it difficult. Yeah, I bet typically I can't get a it. When you start fishing, you straight up. You must front flip out into your waders or whatever. You look where? Yes. All equipment in the car, straight down the lake.

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Yeah. You saw they didn't catch one fucking carp because I wasn't getting carp fishing. I was just going for a general small silver fish. And I caught one perch. It was one day, and it was. It was a hard lake as well. So it was a new lake to me. You know, he does not like. You know, he does proper fishing.

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Ricky, I don't want any excuses. Just show me the fish. Right. Show me the fucking fish. Rick. You're going to get about 40 different pictures of me. Fish. You I won't 40. You haven't got 40 fish in your life. You fucking what? Me? When you like, you bang on about carp fishing, I love capture. I don't take you to this lake.

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You've never caught carp. You've never got one, right? I will fucking see if I tell you. You don't know who does. Proper fishing rig. Hey, my little brother. What? Cause he got he because he goes on the rocks, he just chucks a little fucking bay at does a at. That is pretty cool. It's got quite like that. He's of some waders so he can get into the water as well as he.

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Really. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a picture. It looks amazing. So basically what's happened. He's moved to Wales and gone. I'm just going to start fishing off the like is it. He hasn't caught anything. He hasn't even seen fish. He hasn't had a bite. But it seems to be the life of all fish fishermen. He's not about the fish in is it?

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It's about just sitting there, you know, it's like football. You know, when you go to the football, the game gets in the way of the actual good parts about the day. Like fishing. Yeah. The same fish gets in the way of me sitting there doing fucking gardening roll ups and drinking beer, sitting in the sun. It sounds like a dream.

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What? What? While we're on this subject and it's a nice little, segway my, it will go in the middle of my this chat about stag days. Now, stag days. Out of all my mates, family. I'm just trying to think now I don't think. I think there's probably one stag do left that's hiding from a mate, but I think almost that these are done in my network.

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The only stag do that remains is my stag do. If I ever go, if I ever get married, you're not going to get married the way you, I don't know, mate. Probably not. Will you ship? Yeah, yeah, I would, and the stag do that I want. Would you want? I want to go catfishing France, north of Spain, the river Ebro.

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Unfortunately, you can't choose your stag. The. So you can. You're going to Magaluf, but I.

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You'll whoever your best. You don't have to decide this now. You got too many friends out there. If I have anything to do with organizing your stag. What don't they like you? I'm taking needs to make a leave. I don't even want to go to Magaluf. No, I thank God. Brilliant. Yeah, well, well, you see, what you describe is beautiful.

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You imagine a sunset in northern Spain. Hot. Yeah. That fish in the water. Massive monsters. The excitement of catching it so sent in up. Beautiful scenery, drinking Spanish beer. Yeah. Cold beers. And it's to the point where we're drinking cold beers. We're drinking them all day. But it's not to the point where we're absolutely fucked. Which is nice, nicely toasted because I've got a nice warm glow about.

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That's the energy. That's the energy. Yeah. So the energy, everyone's just sitting there super chilled. It's a couple of spliffs. Yeah. The most relaxed thing. That does sound amazing, but we're going to Magaluf. Yeah. We're going to go to Magaluf. Right. We got first day. We're going to ruin it for the rest of the days when the shit is speediest.

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Charlie on the island, and we're going to go mad for it. We're going to lie. We're going to sleep for three days, no sleep for three days. We're going to get back wishing we never see each other ever again. Yeah. No, that does sound sick. Well, why don't we don't have to wait for you there. We can just.

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I know it's a point in the show, but we can. We can just do that, right? Yeah. Is there any. Well, no fishing experience where I could. I could catch catfish. Yeah. You could, I'd bring it in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes money. They are massive and they fight really hard. And it would be a problem for all of us, even as an experienced angler such as myself.

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But it would be, it would be, it would be absolutely quality. But leading on to the stag days, how do you feel about stag days now? Now, when I was younger, and I mean, I say this when I was younger, but when I start to lose booked. The excitement leading up to said stag day doesn't matter where it is, if it's small, by, if it's fucking actually it only the ones that are abroad are the good ones.

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The ones that are in England, it's just don't invite me. Well. Now I want to go abroad. You've got to go abroad now. But, like, now that I'm of an age, it's that chance. Well, I can go and have a bit of sun, get on a plane and just enjoy myself as well as, you know, the drinking and stuff.

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A little bit. Time away from the family, little bit time to myself, time with my mates and stuff like that or whoever I'm going with. But back in the day when you'd be going on a stag do and it's leading up to it, I know the excitement and have smashed you going to get the bars, you're going to go to what clubs?

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You're going to go to, and all the planning around that, that was that's quality. It was fun. I loved it, but at this age, at the moment, like when there is a starting booked and you know you can have a big one and you know you've got 3 or 4 days of it. Yeah, it's a bit of me now that's like I get yeah, I only just not make it two days.

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I look, I love stag dos so much that I didn't have a stag do for my own wedding. That's how much I love them. It isn't. It's not. The problem is, is if if you're just like some of your best mates together, that's great. But that's not what stag do is, is it? It's an amalgamation of male friends that, you know, there's pressure from outside, like you've got your mates there, but then there's always some dingle berries hanging out.

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Oh, you're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it has to do. I have to have volume though. Like my wife. Your wife's brother. That's a that's a good one. Luckily my wife my wife doesn't have one. Well in this situation, but I don't want to thank my wife's brother. But we need to get on with him. He supports Arsenal, for fuck's sake.

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It's like that? Yeah, and he invited me on a stag day, so I got. That was seven years ago. Don't even speak to him now. And now I've got a fucking invite him because he invite, you know, the reason? That's one of the main reasons, right? Why wedding and stag do that fills me with absolute dread of having to invite people, cutting people out.

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And like, if I wanted to have the main people of who I actually wanted there, it'd be great. But there is. There's going to be the oh, but we go out each weekend and it's like, yeah, but you know, you kind of on my periphery. It's not, you know, fully in there. And if you ever been to a stag do whereby you, you go and you know, the stag and you know, maybe their best mate, but the other people you don't really know too really, got to read a.

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Yeah. I went to else's stag do in Amsterdam. Yeah, yeah. During a time where things were a little bit crazy. Yeah. Like it was. It was during it was, I would say peak drug taking years. Peak drink. Goodness. Yeah. Wicked. But also, you know, you felt immortal then, like hangover. I can deal with a hangover I can deal with come down.

00:18:14:15 – 00:18:35:02
And if there were those things, that's the worst part of it. Yeah. All I look forward to the best bits. So yeah, there was the one I was to talk about Amsterdam. There was that one. And then I did James's James Walcott's Stag. I didn't know anybody, just James. Oh but but Rick, how quite. You know, you're talking about introvert.

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Introverted. In some ways I'm quite extroverted. I can get on with people and I can talk to people and make friends very quickly. Yeah. So I'm okay. I was comfortable doing that. But if you're anyway not. You like all these men as, like, many Renaults, like they know each other, but yeah, I mean, it's it's one of those things where I,

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Look like yourself. I am comfy. I'll be like, if I have to do the stag and I know one person, I'll go along. I'm quite confident in kind of that social aspect that I will be within the group and chatting to everyone and stuff like that. But but the thing is that I, I don't have a read on people sense of humor now.

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Mine can get very dark and I will say stuff and people be like, mate, where did that come from? Like, what is that? So you have to kind of just that quite quickly. But as I've gotten older, I've got more used to the idea of this is just who I am. And it's just this is what I'll be laughing at and this is what I'll be doing.

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And I'm just going to I'm just going to do that. But yeah, these are an interesting kind of collection of people that do know each other. Maybe I've met a few times or totally don't know each other, but what I have enjoyed out of a lot of stacks that have been on.

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And this is more of a modern thing, is the WhatsApp groups that are created and it's the lead up to that. Like to leading up to the take off of the stack, you've got where you've got a lot of work to do in that. Like as, as someone who doesn't know actually fucking Lee's. Lee's died last last year, a year ago.

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I'll tell you about that as well. But I didn't know any of them. So you dropped to the WhatsApp group because they're planning it. Lee's not in there. Yeah, so I'm just me on my own. Brand new to these people I didn't know. You have no gauge. Like, you're talking about meeting people and having an idea about whether or not they're going to get my my my my, humor.

00:20:44:17 – 00:21:04:20
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you meet them in person, you can maybe read my micro mannerisms. You can kind of gauge it in a WhatsApp. You got nothing. It's just text. And sometimes you throw things out and go, oh God, is this going to land? But you got to do something because you got to have a personality. You got to yeah, yeah, yeah, I've done that many a time in, like, Mike cracked a joke.

00:21:04:21 – 00:21:26:03
Can they check back in like an hour? There's been no not one reaction on off. Yeah, yeah. I wasn't trying any grounds. Yeah. I'm not going. I can thank you. Yeah. I mean, as far as. Yeah, that is, that's an important moment because you're establishing yourself self in the group. You want to be seen as a sound.

00:21:26:05 – 00:21:49:13
He's all right. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to be the alpha male. I don't want to go in there like ten toes and be not top dog or whatever, but I, you know, you need to kind of get yourself out there. You don't want to be, when you meet up with everyone, you don't want it to be awkward enough that you haven't put enough of your self out there required what?

00:21:49:15 – 00:22:06:17
Used in a WhatsApp group. Right. And that was a month before your actual statutory study for the stag. And you'd somehow been given the name, the nickname before meeting anyone, a Davey Rick.

00:22:06:19 – 00:22:23:18
And you don't like it? Yeah. You don't like you could go to the stag known as Davey. Rick. Yeah. And as you get that right, as you get, the best man is there. And you're going out on your first night. You said you got fucking t shirts printed. Davey. Rick. Right on the T-shirt. You tried chatting to loads of people.

00:22:23:18 – 00:22:44:00
I wish I'd known TV. Rick Wise I like I know the name, but why is it everyone thinks I'm a Dave? Fuck yeah. No, that'd be horrible, wouldn't it? Yeah, I think that could be a new nickname, Rick, I might. Changing was there enough group there? It's not again. I'm on my, one of the gooners he stag do.

00:22:44:01 – 00:23:12:10
He's, one of his mates that I didn't know prior to the stag is called Dave, but I think it's. It's his surname. It's a shortened part of his surname. So I won't be able to take that. Oh, but with the WhatsApp groups, I always find as well that, the leading up to it, the excitement that builds and everyone's messaging and, you know, the group's establishing itself and what you're going to do when you get there and all of that.

00:23:12:12 – 00:23:31:16
I still have WhatsApp groups from stag days that went on years ago that are still active, still active. I was going to say that, yeah, usually they don't. I mean, what is it's a mixed group. Yeah. Mixed mixed group. What do you mix great for. The lads will like we'll see something in the news that happened on the stag.

00:23:31:19 – 00:23:47:06
Yeah. A meta jack in there. Yeah. Yeah. And people be laughing about it and then it just it gets the conversations going again. And then it might be quiet for a month and then it kicks in again. This is what's great. I don't know if that's the case for women, but men are really good at that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

00:23:47:10 – 00:24:15:21
You haven't seen someone for. Yeah. Two years. Three years, not 20 over a pint. And that'll be it. You bet your best friends for a day. Exactly like nothing is, That nothing's ever happened. Now, Will is. You've piqued my interest with your your Amsterdam bench. And what, what what happened in Amsterdam still is. I look back at it and I get,

00:24:15:23 – 00:24:40:14
I don't like thinking about it. Really? Oh, God. It was the most drugs I've taken in a four day period. I think that anybody has potentially. We got there, we got in a cab from. I don't know why the trains were down, but we got. We. Oh, maybe we got to Amsterdam Central and we were staying in a hostel, right.

00:24:40:14 – 00:25:07:02
Because we had no money. So we're staying in a hostel. This great big room full of men. We had our own room, but there was six of us. An LS is like the size. Size? About four men. Yeah, and just far in constantly over night we were, in the morning and whatever that weren't the worst. That was, that was, that was actually like relief for me.

00:25:07:02 – 00:25:31:04
Used to go in there. By the time we got back in May, I put myself in some terrible situations on that trip. And it was all mainly down to MDMA. Right. And so it didn't start well because I'd been up all night. The night we were due to meet at Kings Cross at like 10 a.m. to get the Eurostar, because I was scared of flying so wanted to get the train right.

00:25:31:04 – 00:25:48:20
Okay, this train to Amsterdam but then took about seven hours. He couldn't go direct. I don't even know. You can go there right now. You have to go to Brussels and get a local train up to a European train up to Amsterdam. It was really sort of convoluted way we had to do it. What is a 40 minute flight in an airplane?

00:25:48:20 – 00:26:07:06
Took about seven hours, but it was alright because it was part of fun. And when you're going anywhere, it's all good. I went to Russia with Germany to watch England play a couple of weeks ago, and we got the Eurostar over there and got into Interrail inside, inside. In Europe it was eight hours, but it just flew by because you're like, this is fucking cool.

00:26:07:08 – 00:26:31:13
Yeah. So the train going for this country, we just love to do that. Another side break. Talking to the missus about this for 300 pound you can travel anywhere across Europe. First class as many trains you want within seven days. All over, all over Europe for £300. Fucking. Yeah. That's the station first class Rick as well. Anyway, so we've got this train over up.

00:26:31:16 – 00:26:55:06
I'd spent all night up, you know, went out. So no sleep. Got to about five in the morning for a pack, started ironing some clothes off or not. And this. I don't want to sound like I'm glorifying this. It wasn't. All of these were really bad decisions in the night that I'd made, and, So stayed up all night, got to pack my bag.

00:26:55:08 – 00:27:19:04
Managed to get to King's Cross, have a pint while waiting for for the lads to try and even myself out. Got there and the rest don't really remember until we were in. They were in Europe. We have, they have like a dining coach, which is like a restaurant in the middle of the train. Much better than what we have there.

00:27:19:06 – 00:27:40:14
And, I was just playing Jamie team over and it's like massive party and people would join in and it was fucking quality. Like, I was going off. But we got to, we got to Amsterdam Central and we had, we got in a cab and almost instantly the cab just gave us a card, and a card says, I can't remember the guy's name.

00:27:40:14 – 00:28:08:06
Party services. So, so that's that then? I know what that is. Called him up afterwards. And then just abundance of pills and gear and because you think of Amsterdam, you think of we. That's not what we did. No, it was all. It was all the. It was all the other stuff. And. Yeah, proceeded to, to, to do this stuff and then it would last four hours.

00:28:08:06 – 00:28:36:01
Five hours. I'm like, fuck, we need to get more and get more. And I remember at the end of the four days things happened during this Jenny's trip, but at the end of four days, I remember watching Stoke beat Liverpool four nil final game of the season. Brendan Rodgers last game I and think thinking know I feel like I've done something to my brain.

00:28:36:03 – 00:29:01:15
Managed to get back to London and get the train back which is less fun. And I remember going to bed or getting into bed for a little more, and then and my brain was vibrating. It was like I was being electrocuted. Rick. It was like I was in a constant state of panic all day, like you've done you you've done too much.

00:29:01:15 – 00:29:29:10
Yeah, but but I was having, like, a never ending panic attack constantly. Couldn't breathe, couldn't catch my breath feeling intense, sort of fear. And all the while my brain is zapping zappy, zappy, zappy. And I've since I've since learned out that that's taking enormous amounts of MDMA can cause you called. They're called brain zaps or MDMA zaps. And that was what was happening in my brain.

00:29:29:10 – 00:29:54:07
And it wouldn't stop. And it mainly happened when I lied down to try to go to bed. So I can't, I can't, I can't I can't get comfortable. I didn't want to eat. I was fucked, Rick. How long did it last for? Day two. Same, my day three. Same. I'm sitting in my office with people around me, and I'm holding onto my desk for dear life.

00:29:54:09 – 00:30:14:20
It was horrendous, having cheeky little brains that. Yeah. Yeah, just constantly. Just like zoom. You did all that and they made posh of that. Posh have that record, got to it, got to the fifth day and I was, I it's it's Friday.

00:30:14:22 – 00:30:42:04
I'll get a couple of pills in, I fixed it, Rick took the pill, but everything stopped with. Yeah, I was fine. Fuck it out. Lessons learned. No, Rick. It's lessons learned. Never done that again. People look like people who think, oh, you got fucked up in Amsterdam. I bet there was no naughtiness. There was no process. There was nothing like, no, it's not my thing at all.

00:30:42:06 – 00:31:04:03
And they sound really scary. I don't if you spoke to anybody who's seen because like stag dos in Amsterdam go hand in hand in the sex shows and whatnot. We didn't do any of that, genuinely. I, I went to a stag do Amsterdam. We went to a sex show, obviously, and we were in this kind of. It's like a small theater, I guess.

00:31:04:03 – 00:31:37:14
They were all there. We seen the the the lady on stage and point for the stag to get up. The stag obviously doesn't want to get up, and one of the other lads says, I'll do it. I'll go on stage walks and the stag gets up on the, I think I think it was the stag brother got up on stage and the woman was, you know, as they do, they embarrass them and humiliate them and hit them with whips and slap their ass and doing all this and doing all that.

00:31:37:16 – 00:32:05:20
And then I think she took his belt off and tied his arms behind his back and made him lie on his back. So he's lying on his. Yeah. So cock. No, she gets a deal. Widow. Yes. It. Where up he's supposed to be. And then she straddles him and like squats on the deal. Don't say Lord. So it's like yeah, but he's he's him him doing her.

00:32:05:22 – 00:32:27:01
But it's just the deal. Widow. Yeah. Now she she she rises off of him and she. This still though isn't in her anymore, but it's where his groin is. And he got over excited and thrusts his hips as though it was like his dick into her. So like, as though he's doing it like he's part of the the act.

00:32:27:02 – 00:33:02:06
Yeah. She did not like that. She she she leant down where he was laying and gave him the biggest thunderous slap across the face. The theater went silent and she just stormed off stage. What's his name? No. Well, I it was eerily quiet. I think he just had one of my mates, guys that ended badly. Wow. Yeah.

00:33:02:07 – 00:33:23:12
Yeah. Well, so one of the lads almost this staggering when I said there were no brothers involved, I. I didn't he didn't know and I didn't, but there were other people. And I've told this story before, I think. But I'll say it again as a bloke just all, all weekend. Oh, God. Oh my God. You know, this is where he spoke.

00:33:23:14 – 00:33:39:09
I'm going to go. I want to go and see a prostitute. I'm not gonna say prostitute. It was. All right. Well, that's that's fine. Look, it's legal here, you know? You're not married. Yeah, yeah. And if you were, you know, you're not going to tell. I don't know, darling. I'm just met you. I don't give a shit. You do whatever you want to do.

00:33:39:09 – 00:33:57:15
Me, you can go on, be. He's really build himself up. Oh, father, anyone got birth? I'm gonna go for a walk and have a look at a couple where I was like, I got on and crack on, right? And then didn't do it, but. Oh, out night after night after night. Got to the final night sitting in this little pub, and he goes, right, right.

00:33:57:18 – 00:34:28:22
I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna, I've only the person who right now got caught, and Johnson. He, comes back 15 minutes later just shaking his head, as all my fears were realized, is, No. No. Is that what happened? What happened anyway? Well, I went in there and, And she she she she pulled my pull my trousers down really rough.

00:34:28:24 – 00:34:45:22
And then she grabbed me by the cock, and she let me over to the sink and washed it really vigorously. And then, then she get down on the knees and she started to go down on me. But obviously I was, I was scared, I couldn't get an erection. And after about two minutes of try and she just looked around for me and she took my money and she wouldn't come back.

00:34:45:22 – 00:35:14:17
When you're brave. And pushed him out the door. Come back when you're brave. As a man struggling to get him erection. That is the last thing you want to hear. Come back when you're brave. So you paid for to be humiliated and kicked out? Yeah. Probably deserves it after that. You know, that is, But it always it like stock things always, always revolve around drugs and brass is is something that I didn't.

00:35:14:19 – 00:35:36:03
It doesn't it just show you what men are pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. We're just this. We are such primitive. Yeah. Where are we going? We're going to go to. We're going the way we're going to north of Spain. We're going catfishing. Chuck. Fishing for catfish fishing. Is it going to be drugs? Of course. Prostitutes? Yeah, I'm sure some sites.

00:35:36:03 – 00:36:03:23
Are we prostitutes? One of our favorite stags that I. That I went on was, And so it was all to do with this incident. Now, the beginning bit, wasn't. It was. It was a bit hairy, but. So we were going to Berlin. We were on the plane going over to Berlin mid-flight. Some cool, mature gentlemen started having a heart attack, which is.

00:36:03:23 – 00:36:21:15
Which is the, you know, we don't want to be you don't want to be up 30,000ft in the air having a heart attack because you know what you're going to do. Also, you like not on this plane because we just want to go on a stag. Yeah. You you really you really bring it? I don't like flying. Know.

00:36:21:17 – 00:36:45:07
So this dude had one of those, oxygen masks? Yeah. Sitting in his chair and me and all the other laterals sitting near each other. We all had our beer and we carried on kind of drinking, and it was just a bit of a somber atmosphere. The guy was all right. He was breathing in his oxygen and stuff, and then we were like, where's the stag gone?

00:36:45:09 – 00:36:49:24
And someone said, oh, he got up to go to the toilet.

00:36:50:01 – 00:37:10:11
That was ages ago. That was like, where the fuck is he? What's happening? He had at all attack! We were looking up and down the plane. Couldn't see him, didn't know where he was. And then someone said, look down there. We all looked at the same time, sort of pair of trainers sticking up like that on someone's legs.

00:37:10:13 – 00:37:28:08
We're like, what the fuck? Why? There are loads of air hostesses over there. And then the best man got out of seat to walk down to see what was there. It was the stag. He'd passed out because of the guy who had the oxygen mask. He got a bit queasy, so he was lying in the back of the plane.

00:37:28:10 – 00:37:49:22
That passed out, and the air hostess trying to bring him round. They bring him round. He's obviously fine. We're all cracking up because the stag hasn't even reached fucking Berlin yet. And he's on. He's off. And then the best bit about it was because he'd passed out and that had to care for him. They had to put him in a wheelchair from the plane to the airport.

00:37:49:24 – 00:38:09:00
So we're all like, oh, they stack the guy. They're all paced up, absolutely crazy in the stack. Didn't even fucking reach Berlin. He's already in a wheelchair. Great. You know? Yeah. You know, when you go into, you know, you get you when you go in stacks. Yeah. And there's almost like little code amongst men, like what stays mistakes.

00:38:09:02 – 00:38:33:19
What goes on in the stack stays on the stack. Right. We're not taking our wives. Is that energy? Isn't there often? Yeah, yeah. Like I'm. I'm on holiday. I'm going to get a bros. You lot are just going to keep quiet about it forever. That's that's the idea that this that this is possible in some way. And sometimes it is maybe, maybe sometimes people do do stuff on stacks and it never gets back.

00:38:33:21 – 00:39:07:17
But listen to this situation. So James was going on a stag. 20 men. Oh my god. Yeah 20 men. They, A room, a house, 20 men and a house. People were doing things MDMA, obviously. Whatever it was, it was a stag. Yeah. And suddenly two strippers turned up. Now, the idea was that these strippers would come and no one would talk about it.

00:39:07:19 – 00:39:29:17
20 men, they wouldn't get home. No one would mention it. Bearing in mind these 20 men are all connected by each other's wives, there was some sort of hope that these strippers would come, and that it would just stay in this house and they would never get out. It nearly did break. One man broke. Oh my God. What what what did he do?

00:39:29:19 – 00:39:51:06
He just told his wife, no, I'm not under duress. Just older than this. I think some people have cool relationships like that. They can just. It's no big deal. Do you? Would you tell your wife if anything like that happened? If you'd. If you banged, if you'd banged the prostitute. No, no, no, not if I banged. If you did, I'll never get it.

00:39:51:06 – 00:40:12:21
Was really did I went into this room and just saw his little brown buttocks just going up and down really fast. No, if you're on a stag day, if you're on a lads holiday, if you do whatever. What what stays there, stays there. But if you ask the question from your wife, you've got a good relationship with your.

00:40:12:22 – 00:40:54:06
Yeah, if not, you're open. But would you tell her what's gone on. Oh. Would be very difficult if your wife said to you what happened. I want to know. And you decided to withhold information because that then eventually it is corrupting, isn't it? Because even if it's just a small bit, it develops a mistrust in in you. Yeah, but there was this your grown up and brought up, taught about the bro code and taught about the importance of protecting your friends.

00:40:54:08 – 00:41:17:20
Yeah. Helping them out of situations. Yeah. Which is also important to your friends. Yeah. So you would have to decide. And this is why. So. Oh, it's an asshole thing to do. To put your mates in a situation where they can't speak to their wives because of stuff you want to get up to, but disappear into the night and go and see a prostitute if you want to do it, make me complicit.

00:41:18:01 – 00:41:31:22
Don't make me a part of it. I don't want to be a part of this. Don't make me pick which one to go for. Yeah, I don't know. I'll call. You can't choose between. You want to stick your dick up? A woman and the trust I have with my wife. That's not fair to put me in that situation.

00:41:31:24 – 00:41:54:12
I don't think, Ollie would she. She wouldn't care. And she wouldn't. She wouldn't tell anybody. She wouldn't think this is gossip. Brilliant. Let's share this around most people quite like you would viewers. I'd never guess what someone did right. This is brilliant. I've got to talk to someone about it. That's the normal way to behave, right?

00:41:54:14 – 00:42:20:16
Yeah, but with Ollie, I don't think she. She wouldn't be that interested. So I probably just say, yeah, this happened x, y, z up. And I'm, I, yeah, I'm pretty much of the same. I would tell the Misses Mo stuff that she does. She, does she like a little gossip? I think she, I think not not gossiping with her mates, but then just her and I, she wants to hear the the she wants.

00:42:20:17 – 00:42:43:24
Yeah. Yeah, she wants that. She wants to hear what what happened. And if we went to a strip joint or got strippers in or this, that in the of, you know, more than likely I would tell her and be like, quite open and honest about it and stuff like that. Anything like people doing drugs or anything like that or you know what, what the escapades that's going on.

00:42:44:01 – 00:43:04:02
But then it gets up to an edge. And that edge you don't want to know now thou shall not pass. Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say like, yeah, of course you never guess who. No, no I, I pro you never get. Yeah. Or that side. It's not like that. Like I'll just leave that with me and my mate.

00:43:04:02 – 00:43:27:15
Yeah, well it's. Yeah, because you're fucking. This is what I'm saying is. But doing this stuff, even if you trust everyone, keep their mouth shut, they can't help it. The human they get someone's getting grief from, their wife can constantly tell me what happened to her. Did you say, what did you say? What was it? And you're like, I didn't, but I didn't.

00:43:27:15 – 00:43:51:24
I didn't write so well. Why am I getting this? I didn't do it. Barry did, I am. Oh, Barry. I'm calling Sheila right now. Sheila, you never guess what Barry did. Barry fought the prostitute in front of me. That's why I had to say something in front of me. I. I went on a stag quite recently. It was my cousin's stag.

00:43:52:01 – 00:44:16:07
And both of my cousins are white girls. Was a process that made them easily, both of my cousins, both their stag days. They, went with such, you know, lovely lads. Yeah, it wasn't like. Oh, you fucking drinking with your right hand, Rick, you got to nick a pint and smash it on your head. It's like, oh, all that kind of carry on.

00:44:16:09 – 00:44:37:05
It was just loads of really lovely lads listening to change all day, drinking beer all day in a pool. Then the guy now bearing it up in the stands, guys and clubs and all that like. And you know what? It got to like 12:00 Am. People are. I'm knackered. And it was like. Like we've got a really fucking very bad five minutes down the road.

00:44:37:05 – 00:44:57:23
Just go back like we're not here to like be out till five in the morning. It was so laid back and like if, if some of the, some of the people and a couple of days later I don't really want to come out, it's like we're there for four days and not everyone's not if you're not up for it, if you're not feeling it, stay.

00:44:58:03 – 00:45:19:08
It's all right. Energy round by the pool. Listen to music, whatever you want to do. Some stuff like that. Is it right, mate? That I need my. I would love my stags to be, like, as chilled as those, but I know that. And it's not for anyone's fault but Sydney's. I have a beer. I know what I'm like.

00:45:19:10 – 00:45:41:15
Yeah. And I will be like, let's let's not on the second day. They're not on the second. I want to go. I'm a black snake to an F1 guy, couple of beers and we just be rolling up notes and blowing cocaine up. Yeah, yeah, I'd love that. Love that. Quite good I think. Like some stacked as well. Like from from the beginning.

00:45:41:15 – 00:46:19:07
Right. When my mates were younger, they got married early 20s when I was living the King's stag day was Nottingham and Birmingham and then, you know, proper British tactics. And then as the years go by, Easyjet, Ryanair, come on. This stag do is, you know, you can go into Europe now like Amsterdam and into Alb if you're, and I think the standard now for when you go on a stag day is Greg is going abroad some somewhere sunny or somewhere where there's you get to do an activity which I absolutely.

00:46:19:09 – 00:46:46:00
You know, those are the parts of the stag do that that I love. But, some stags. I was chatting with someone at the weekend with the football. This, that. It was in Vegas. Vegas. That's. Yeah. But you if you haven't, you do in Vegas, you're you don't have to go. But they're not you don't have to. But the the, you know fear of missing out.

00:46:46:02 – 00:47:07:16
Not that much. The is too much I'd kill about. I wouldn't get out of Vegas alive. I know I wouldn't know I know what I'm like. And so they sort of people I know I've been to Las Vegas. They have, like party liaisons, some semblance of the party line. Yeah. So they just turn up and you order everything, all of the drugs and stuff you want.

00:47:07:18 – 00:47:29:10
Like you can get a limo outside the airport and you all just jump in the limo to take you to the hotel. The window will go down and be like, here's a card. Any anything you want is a gun with that number? Yeah, yeah, it's all it's done. Is gun. I it's not that. It's the. The cost of going to Vegas is astronomical, isn't it?

00:47:29:16 – 00:47:51:19
Know. Yeah. It's insane, man. It's insane. Right? Yeah. I couldn't put my mates through that. My brother, my brothers, when they went this just said you just forget. Like you can't acknowledge money is you understand it because it's so expensive. You have to accept that this is going to financially ruin you and therefore just go with it. But what's what you what what's a double whiskey?

00:47:51:21 – 00:48:12:08
$60. Fuck, yeah. Now, man had some water. How was the water? $10. Oh. All right, tap water. Right. You can't drink the tap water. Fuck that. I don't I don't see the appeal of Las Vegas, to be honest. I do see the appeal of America. I'd like to do some driving for America, but not not Las Vegas, really.

00:48:12:08 – 00:48:55:11
We we've, we we have got a topic coming up on America in the next few weeks. America. Say the fucking day. Yeah. This. The best. The best I've ever been on. Done. Even a, So, where was it? He's. Is it Ryan stag? Okay. Lisbon, 2014. The live festival in a dance tent, giving it some to some fucking horrible.

00:48:55:13 – 00:49:24:09
It was something like, I know, subtract. I think. And those, like. Actually, that's not true. It's 2:00 in the afternoon. There was no music on was in the bastard pagan fun. And the American. And I'm chatting this bird up. What was the name? Rebecca. Rebecca was the name. I was like, yeah, she's, She's definitely. She's definitely into me 100%, 100%, I knew.

00:49:24:09 – 00:49:48:13
And I look up and I see walking across the tent. Hey, Holly. Right. Okay. That was unexpected. And you were right. That's when you met your Ryan stuff. This interaction with you now. Wife. Yeah. She was just walking across the tent, and I locked eyes on her, and I was like, fuck, she's pretty. She's really pretty. But I still got Rebecca here.

00:49:48:15 – 00:50:19:03
Fuck what I'm going to do. I've been putting in the work here. Yeah, but couldn't not. And we kept looking at each other. Cat eyes kept looking some more or less figuratively speaking, just palmed Rebecca off. Good to another person. Good. And then went to speak to ten years later is now my wife. That is my life. Completely changed it because I was in a bit of an open relationship at the time with the ex.

00:50:19:05 – 00:50:44:23
It's a bit sticky. It's a bit of a sticky wicket. Because I've met this amazing bird. But I'm also kind of. I was go back to London after the stag and and, negotiate that open relationship, which, by the way, sounds great. They're not. They're fucking nightmare. I could never, ever imagine an open relationship ever being successful.

00:50:44:24 – 00:51:04:16
No, I don't think so. There's always one person that sort of wants it a little bit more, 100%. And, so it didn't work out what the what that was, by the way, was our relationship was over, but we'd been together such a long time that it was almost too scary to leave. Yeah, like subconsciously. So I was like, oh, let's just have an open relationship.

00:51:04:16 – 00:51:23:00
That'll be fine. Really, what we are saying is this is, I suppose, deciding that this, this relationships over and then eventually it just it it just, just break up. But it wasn't easy. It was pretty horrible. And, and then this idea of, this woman who knows about my situation is kind of, sort of seeing where it goes.

00:51:23:02 – 00:51:43:15
Yeah. Fucking mess. But yeah, they, got known in the chat for the best. Yeah, but we always had the best of friends with the ex-partner and, obviously in a really good position, but what stuck. And you never know what's going to happen. Like, that moment changed my life forever. Yeah, yeah, I did it. It it literally, literally changed forever.

00:51:43:15 – 00:52:14:22
Yeah. Four years later, same spot, same festival. I proposed to her and there's that same spot I met a G. Yeah, with my brothers there. We will leave that on that positive note. So stag these do have, like kind of a spot. You know, generally they are fucking mental for debauched men. Now, the next topic for next week is going to be masculinity.

00:52:14:22 – 00:52:45:19
So someone's actually emailed in masculinity. They said a lot of men seem to be struggling in modern society, perhaps confused or unsure of what it means to be a man. Influences like Andrew Tate, all this high value man and toxic masculinity stuff online, the pressure men face not to be seen as weak. Opening up the impact of porn and social media is having on men and society in general.

00:52:45:21 – 00:53:17:08
So has has has that stuff gone too far? Yeah. As a as a nation, are we are we be being offended by too much now we've all those different things. So what we we want your stories and your thoughts on masculinity, toxic masculinity. What how do you feel about it? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing?

00:53:17:10 – 00:53:41:08
We we we want to hear from you. So send it in to lads. Anon pod at gmail.com and we will read everything out. We'll get your stories in and we'll, we'll have a chat about it now we've got no dilemma again this week because everyone is, you know, just think of a new bit. Oh, we yeah, we are everyone's.

00:53:41:10 – 00:54:06:06
Yeah. Everyone's lives are normal. Everything. So it everyone is living five star lives. That's fine. But we do have a something only you know, which is called karma's a bitch. And we're going to go into the jungle right now. Wow. Something, you know.

00:54:06:08 – 00:54:30:16
Throughout secondary school, sixth form and post education, my friendship group would constantly tease me about how much they would like to shag my younger sister and how fit they thought she was. She was two years younger than me, and as you can imagine, this was extremely annoying and incredibly hard to ignore and not to give them the rise they so desperately craved.

00:54:30:18 – 00:54:56:14
One lad in particular was extremely aggressive with this, and took it further than the others in the group, going into graphic detail about what he would do to her, I had to fight with every part of my being, not to batter him and just try and shake it off. This went on for years and then my chance for an act, the ultimate revenge arrived.

00:54:56:16 – 00:55:24:21
It was a set lads house party. It was a 3 a.m. after heavy night on booze, his older sister of two years older was there and was coming onto me very, very strongly. I knew if I let it happen, it was game on. For a split second I thought to myself, this is wrong, I can't do this. And then I said, what about all of the years of torment and abuse I'd suffered from this lad?

00:55:24:23 – 00:55:50:14
Needless to say, all conscience went out the window and we did the deed and I snuck out the house in the small hours before anyone knew what happened. To my amazement, this wouldn't end up being just a one time thing. For the next year or so, many sister would regularly hook up. All the while this lad was still ripping me about my sister and what he would do to her.

00:55:50:16 – 00:56:11:19
I used to look at him with a wry smile and turn to be pissing myself laughing in the sweet, sweet knowledge that he he could go on as much as he liked about how much he wanted to know my sister, knowing that I was currently not being his sister, I eventually ended up moving away and the friendship group disbanded.

00:56:11:21 – 00:56:35:04
This means I have absolutely no remorse over these events, and I feel content knowing that I always have this hold over him, even though he would never know it. I carried it through. I carried with this for me for 12 years and I will carry it to the grave. Karma is a bitch. This is something only I know.

00:56:35:06 – 00:57:06:24
I love the the kind of like friend. You know my sister all know your sister. Yeah. Well What is it okay to not be my sisters. Well I, if you, if you makes aware of it and he's okay with it, then crack on. But to do the sly thing like that, I, I remember like my sisters, three years older than me.

00:57:06:24 – 00:57:34:21
She's she's pretty. And I remember my mates making comments, that what they would like to do to her and, and stuff like that. What did you say? Yeah. Yeah. It was it's very much fuck off and. Yeah, it's it's not it's not a pleasant experience at all. But to my knowledge, nothing ever happened. But there's some, you know, someone could be listened to again.

00:57:34:23 – 00:57:52:01
I'm not something I'm so on, on I mean, I know. Yeah, yeah, well, you're not going to know who exactly who is this knob? You know, I know you have no idea. There could be loads of them. Not loads, but. Oh oh, whoa whoa whoa whoa, chill out there. Oh, modern mirror. We can do what we want now.

00:57:52:01 – 00:58:13:21
There's no slut shaming. No. Is there? No. But yeah, we smoked up. But yeah, yeah, I'd rather do. You know, my sister could, you know, have slept with 50 guys. As long as none of them are my mates. Is it? Is. Is that a big Richie? Yeah. Yeah. Because you don't want your mates be like, you know, if you down the booze.

00:58:13:23 – 00:58:40:15
You're all having a laugh. Someone. Then someone say something, and then you, mate. Guys, your sister didn't do like that. They, their brother, oh. Oh, may. I'll just walk out the pub right in front of a truck. Great. I bring my mum crying. Why would you? If there is a chance they'll be so not my sister.

00:58:40:16 – 00:59:14:21
So just one of your mates, sisters? I think back in my day, when I was interested in doing this sort of thing. Not shagging mate. Sisters. But. Yeah, when I was a. You're just a different person. Probably would. But. Yeah. Yeah. Like, let's say in the hypothetical world, it was your sister. I think you would have done it on a night out, you know, under the Influence wasn't really me.

00:59:14:23 – 00:59:33:14
I could have been so fucked that actually, technically, I didn't do it. The drugs that, So to give me Rick, I think you'd be right. My my, my, it would be like Rick's brick would be fine, but it's. I think he likes me. It's fine. Yeah, well, yeah, I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you tricks.

00:59:33:16 – 00:59:57:14
Yes, she'll show me a few tricks. Woo woo hoo! Happy. As we were talking about. I'm not Flav. Stop it. You didn't do the long strikes, did you? Yeah, I unfortunately, my I did give her the long straight. I can't do long straights. Unfortunately. I have to see. I do know what you're talking about. Right. That's the end of the pot.

00:59:57:16 – 01:00:35:09
Next week we are going to be talking about masculinity. Toxic masculinity. You know, it. Email us in at lads anon pod at gmail.com. We're also on social. We're on Instagram, Twitter. So Fred's Facebook, we're on Fred's. We're everywhere. And yet mate you're and you can it's all the same handle at lads anon pod give us a follow interact with our content and we will see you next Monday.

01:00:35:11 – 01:01:00:13
The night hazy light band of brothers playing tunes. Hi. Is quite midnight. Waves surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm hit us different ways. Love of music that we prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band as I we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers.