#35 | What goes in and what goes out… you know the topic

00:00:00:00 – 00:00:20:00
Ricky, I've watched that video on our Instagram so many times, mate. Same. Same here. I can't, I can't stop watching it because when I'm scrolling, it obviously pops up and then the music hits and it's just us t just going down those wild rapids. And it just brings me back to when we were actually going down there and how much fun it was.

00:00:20:02 – 00:00:43:16
It's so much fun because it's Eve, you're loud. It's a feel like a kid again when you're going down there. That's what I love about it. Yeah, yeah, I forgot I was 43. Yeah, yeah. So good, so good. Yeah. It's as equally I would, highly recommend anyone if you, Do they do them all center parks, like.

00:00:43:17 – 00:01:09:07
Oh, just. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. It's not the most accessible place. Those center parts, it's like, unless you're minted, you're not going. Not exactly. We got it because my wife works at center Park. So we get free day passes. So we go and wrap it whenever we want. So it's whenever I want. Let's get to the rapids.

00:01:09:09 – 00:01:34:16
The night I see, like, Band of Brothers playing Jones High is quite midnight. Waves surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm hit us different ways. Love of music that we prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band as I we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise.

00:01:34:18 – 00:01:54:16
Hello and welcome to lads anonymous. Is episode 35 a podcast about two best mates of over 20 years invited to join their safe space where all manner of subjects will be discussed. We'll focus on a specific subject matter first and then answer your questions, dilemmas or need for advice. All handled anonymously. So sit back, relax and enjoy the pot.

00:01:54:18 – 00:02:20:24
How's it going, Flav? Yep. Everything's fine. Not good. Not really. No. I've. I've just, tap my missus up a tree, so. Yeah. So I as everybody has listened to the podcast, I have stomach issues and I've needed for a while to give a stool sample to the hospital. Yeah. And I can't be asked to drive to the hospital on this.

00:02:21:04 – 00:02:44:06
You know, I don't think they don't know, Rick. They don't know. Stop asking them to find out. I'm not asking them. They they want me to do this. So they've been. They want this stool sample. How do you. Can I come back? I can't be asked. Is it like a Tupperware box underneath? Your answer no, no, no, no, it's a clear plastic tube.

00:02:44:08 – 00:03:07:14
And when you unscrew the cap, there's a little kind of like, a little spoon. Like a sniff spoon that, that, you have to scoop a bit of the poo in, put it in a tube, screw it down, and then it goes in a sealed bag. I feel about that. Doing that for the first time. First time I've done that at least 20 times.

00:03:07:16 – 00:03:29:04
No, but, you know. Yeah. Normal life, normal behavior, no longer. So, I needed to submit this to the hospital, and I'm not going to the hospital. I can't be asked to pay the parking. I know that lot. And it's been a few months. Lo and behold, my Mrs. isn't at work today because she has been sent from her work to go on a training course.

00:03:29:04 – 00:03:52:06
Where is that training hospital? It's at the hospital and I had the car today, so I had to drop the car off because she go to the training? Yeah, at 1:00. Yeah. I'll have to take that. What did I leave in the passenger seat for? I hope? Burp, fucking poop. My stool sample tucked in an envelope. WhatsApp to tell her what it is, where it's going.

00:03:52:06 – 00:04:13:13
And she was like, oh, for fuck's sake, mate. Honestly, I, I'm like, look, you can't see it. Even when you take it out the envelope, you can't see because it's got all my documentation on it. Just pretend that you don't know what's in there and just go to the gastroenterology department. Hand in safe houses. Have you ever gone.

00:04:13:15 – 00:04:36:19
Yeah, yeah. What were you going to say? Well, it's just because, like, it's disgusting, but. But you don't see any of it, but I know. Yeah. Can I ask you a question? If you finish, if you finish that story. Yeah. If you've done the ancestry thing, we spit in the tube. I haven't never watched it. That. Not it did not give any doctor vibes.

00:04:36:19 – 00:04:59:24
No, no. The the no, it's just I've done it and it was like it's disgusting. All this bubbly spit in this tube and like, I don't I get the fascination about where you come from. Like what your DNA says about where you lived. Yeah, but it's like I quid. And if they ever want to sponsor this, I'll change my tone completely.

00:05:00:01 – 00:05:22:17
But it's £8,080 and you get these results back. I'll have to spit in a tube and it's like, oh, well, why don't English in English and Welsh as well? I knew that what I wanted to do like 3% Nigerian, something like that. Because then I can say, well, it is crazy money. Mine is like, oh, you've done it, I haven't done it.

00:05:22:17 – 00:06:02:06
My sister and it would be the same with you. Yeah, same, same. So you won't be surprised to know there was like something that 50% was, south south India, which is where my family from. Yeah. There was like 15. No, England, not Scotland, not Wales, Ireland, Ireland, Ireland, Portugal as well. And the thing is as well with my surname, my grandad did this thing where he wrote off to understand where surnames come from and how they're formed and stuff like that.

00:06:02:08 – 00:06:31:01
And apparently my surname is a combination between Irish and Portuguese, from where Portuguese settlers arrived in Ireland. Southern Ireland had families and then they sailed and enslaved parts of the world. Column here and it went around. All I'm hearing is your granny got dicked down all over Europe. Oh yeah, for sure, for sure, for sure. Loads of it.

00:06:31:03 – 00:06:43:18
Never mind all that shit about, you know, Portuguese Islands. She's just. Just loved it. Just loved it a love dig that love getting filled up.

00:06:43:20 – 00:06:50:18
Many men. Yeah I.

00:06:50:20 – 00:07:21:22
The, last episode on addiction. We have so many emails and social DMs and everything. So there was a lot of people that this hit a nerve with, whether they, they recognized listening to us to talk. And especially when I was saying about when I wasn't addicted to weed, and then I was saying I would only have a smoke at the weekend, then it creep into Friday, Saturday, Sunday, then Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and so forth.

00:07:21:22 – 00:07:48:19
And you're just making excuses for yourself so they recognize that within themselves and that their patterns of behavior that they can nip in the bud. People were also in the thick of addiction and they found it very helpful and others. But on the other side of their journey and everything we we chatted through and discussed, it was just so, it it must have really kind of hit home to people.

00:07:48:21 – 00:08:22:18
So if you haven't listened to that episode, go back episode 34 addiction and you might get something from there that, might ring home to you. So can listen to that. Spotify comment comments on that. So there was a would you rather again, obviously take it or leave it, would you rather never be able to orgasm again or be able to orgasm just fine, but also say infrequently and have an amazing orgasm at the worst possible time?

00:08:22:20 – 00:08:48:23
E.g. for flash? Yeah. During talkSPORT. Right? Me I would orgasm in public. So keep in mind this person said is an incredibly good orgasm. Yeah. To be can't you don't know when it's going to come. No I probably do I do that. Do the second one. Yeah yeah yeah. Oh for sure I would not want to miss out on it.

00:08:48:23 – 00:09:10:21
And plus I would, I could orgasm right now and you'd never know. It's so good. Yeah I would say that your eyes roll back. No, I'd be like, nah, either he's kissing or he's done a lot, but what? This is the other thing I've got, I have an incredible talent in that it can be as high as a kite, but no one knows.

00:09:10:22 – 00:09:30:02
Yeah, that is true. You you back in the day couldn't do that rig. You know, I didn't have that talent you had. You, in fact, you didn't have. It wasn't that you lacking talent? It was the opposite of that. It was. Yeah, I, I just let my guard down and wanted to feel how I wanted to feel. And I was just enjoying it.

00:09:30:02 – 00:09:45:18
No, I just want to spend a lot of my time trying to worry about how I was looking. I just, I just look how I look, I just look how I look. I need to be like Rick. He can't look like. Saw your face. Let's copy you. All right. I've done it. And you're like, it's the same Rick.

00:09:45:18 – 00:10:04:20
You haven't done anything like holds a lip in. Well, I open your eyes. It's like, do something. You did nothing, Rick. We're in the kids. It bounces off right there. Fucking suit your face out. There's only one side where I've. I've only ever noticed it with you. Where I was just like he is. I've never seen him like this.

00:10:04:20 – 00:10:28:03
He. He's mangled, Joe. Mangled. That was when we went for your. It was like, Was it your fake stag do where we were supposed to be going to the festival, and he got called off, but we went down there anyway. We were in that club. Yeah, yeah, you you were highly pickled. Were you there? Yeah, I was there.

00:10:28:05 – 00:10:47:05
You were wearing sunglasses inside the club. Do you remember sitting down and then taking them off and then putting them on again? But no, like I don't have any recollection of that at all. Was this a new man? Yeah. Nicky made the mixes with there. Lee. I have no recollection I to be there, but I don't remember. You be in the club with us.

00:10:47:07 – 00:11:12:04
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. It was, it was a it was a good turn. Yeah. It was a bloody good. And anyway, another comment that's. Come on which not took me by surprise, but someone had a topic suggestion which I've not even put it in there. Good music. It would be good to hear what music you both like, and what specific tracks remind you of certain times in your life.

00:11:12:04 – 00:11:48:16
Good. That's good. I've got some already. Yeah, it's about art, you know. No. Don't go. No, actually, give, give one. Just a little crumb. I don't want to, I don't I, I don't want anyone to know what I myself don't. Do you don't you do you fucking nosy parker. The. No. Look, especially being young, I want to go into this in more detail when we do the part, but being young started talking to girls, having the summer like there's a couple of albums when I was like 15, 16 that take me right back to that moment.

00:11:48:18 – 00:12:10:11
Yeah, we'll talk about. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I've got like my music taste has changed over the years. There are a couple of the early parts which. Oh, and there's a couple of middle bits here. This is going to be interesting. Yeah, I know a lot of my mates used to take the piss out of me as well for some of my music choices, but what's your favorite band?

00:12:10:13 – 00:12:40:03
Right. Say it. So it's it's not a I say Y6. It's not. It plays it good. We say it together after 333123. Pretty safe. How power. You're. It's what it is. British. Leave her. It's not a British. Say you know what? You know why that came up? It says when? Whenever we were mangled. Right. It was round your flat, just off our tits.

00:12:40:05 – 00:13:00:08
Would you put a music on and be. Would be at the top. And I'd always just see British see power. And you'd have two albums like Ricky had all of his albums loaded into iTunes. So we just play off his all of the music that he had. And British people are like, free, free British keep our albums, that that's where that comes from.

00:13:00:10 – 00:13:29:24
That's amazing. And that's true as well. Yeah. So there's a there's a warning at the beginning of this podcast, something only you know, it's a powerful, it's a bloody powerful one. And it's relative to the topic of the podcast. But before we jump in, you heard Flav and I talking about a clip we posted on Instagram, which we absolutely love, posted it on TikTok as well, and I've been doing this thing.

00:13:29:24 – 00:14:09:24
So I started getting our TikTok account going, and I set myself a target on the 13th of August to post something on our TikTok account every single day, and I have done that for the main part, I missed one day where I schedule two videos on the same day and I didn't realize it doesn't matter. I'm still going to be continuing posting video clips of the podcast on our TikTok and Instagram and Facebook wherever you want to follow us, wherever you choose to get your social, we will be there and you can follow us at last anon part, and you can watch what all the clips and see as much content as you want.

00:14:09:24 – 00:14:33:09
We've had one viral clip, one viral clip of me. We have had one boy. Okay. What was what was that? It was a it's gone up to 70,000 video views. Yeah. And it's a clip of you discussing that's how mates should suck each other. Right. So this is something you say in a podcast like this. You know, it's been listened to by it.

00:14:33:09 – 00:14:54:03
You know, X amount of people. We're pretty safe. Yeah. People listening to this actually are like, you know, they mean that. They probably know most of us know us from the fighting cock or what are you doing? Yeah. And then other people, I've come into it as well. Right. But they know what. Yeah. So they know the kind of context when something goes viral on TikTok is a different experience because they don't know us.

00:14:54:03 – 00:15:11:16
They think that I'm genuinely walking around trying to suck all my mates off. I'm thinking they should stop me up and comparing it to just giving you mate a lift to the airport. Yeah, well, being a move house, I still stand by it, but but but you leave the comments. You know, I'm just not gonna read the comments anymore because I have you read the comments there.

00:15:11:16 – 00:15:31:09
A couple of them. They're all in grins and they're all like, yeah, we should do this. And they're all like, and they're tagging their mates in in all the comments saying, see, I told you is normal. Nice stuff. Right? It was the complete opposite reaction I thought that it would have if it even got looked at. But yeah, it's amazing.

00:15:31:11 – 00:15:54:00
So come give us a follow. Right. We're going to jump straight into the main topic today, which I don't know how we got here and I don't really know how we're going to get through this, but we will. It's pumphouse. And what should go in and what should go out. Now I want to start this, first of all, chat.

00:15:54:01 – 00:16:34:09
I believe this has come from and I'm maybe assuming I believe this has come. We're at the bottom. Oh, we are at the bottom. Are we are we are we are literally. Well, let's say what happened I believe this is come from a WhatsApp conversation in the lads chat. And I think you took umbrage that if there was a suggestion that if you were to have a stray finger inserted into your bottom, that you wouldn't be too happy about it and only one thing comes out poo and nothing goes in.

00:16:34:11 – 00:17:01:03
Yeah, ever. Yeah, okay. And a listener had picked up on that laugh. Sounded just like me. Nothing goes up there strictly a one way street. Yeah. Mrs. often jokes about it and tries to pop a finger in there, often jokes about how tightly I clench my cheeks to the point where it's called the cigar cutter. It will chop anything that tries to enter.

00:17:01:05 – 00:17:24:24
Now, I think. So where this came from originally was those conversations in our which I think people were a bit more. Yeah. Oh, are you up to it conversations a little bit as well. Yeah, yeah. Go for it. Let's they start with that then. Well it's not the I got attacked by the Brexit I think you felt attacked.

00:17:24:24 – 00:17:48:04
I don't think you got physically attacked. They, they said I was like I need like I was like like I can't remember the words. But they were suggesting that I was, had no adventure about me in the bedroom. That's what that's the feeling I was left with. He was a missionary missionary for that, was it? Yeah. It was that kind of thing.

00:17:48:04 – 00:18:09:15
And. And like, you're so vanilla. Like, what is wrong with you? But what's wrong with you? Why don't you want things in Europe? What is wrong with you? That's what I was like. I'm fine with you lot. Sticking things up your ass all the time willy nilly. Right? Okay, if you like. If you want to, if you want to put things up for us every single time you have sex, that's on you.

00:18:09:15 – 00:18:35:22
I don't judge you. I don't judge you. That's because that was the energy I was getting. It was like, yeah, but even then, not having sex and stuff and stuff and things like, there was all right, but don't don't marginalize me because I feel like it's not something I want to do. That's the respect I'm asking for. Not to be made to look a monster because I don't want stuff shoved up my ass.

00:18:35:24 – 00:19:02:10
Yeah. That's, Well, yeah, I mean, I do get that, but, the thing is, is. Well, I haven't had anything up my bum apart from you. You've had loads of things that people. I've had two doctors fingers. How did it feel? So one of them was before my colonoscopy. The first one. Yeah. And it was really.

00:19:02:10 – 00:19:28:01
It was a it was an interesting experience because the doctor that was chatting to me said before, before we go ahead with this colonics copy, I need to do a sweep with my finger just to kind of like, just to check. And I was like, okay, that's fine. And then he said, my name is Ricky. You're going to feel, a cold bit of pressure, which is which is the gel.

00:19:28:03 – 00:19:48:01
And then I'm going to insert my finger and have a sweep, and then we're going to go ahead with the colonoscopy. I was like, okay, that's cool. I felt the cold gel, okay, lube me up. I thought he would ease me and he slid straight to the knuckle straight away. He probably would want to massage you. Well, I just thought it'd be like, right down to the fingernail.

00:19:48:02 – 00:20:08:04
Right. We're down to the first joint. The second joint? Nearly up there. It just went just pow! Straight in. There's no foreplay. You want it done, you want it done quick. In and out. Yeah, I do, but, like, just not for the first bit. Just ease me. Just just imagine. I just heard behind me. He'd spit in on his video.

00:20:08:06 – 00:20:31:18
Haha. Are you mad, Ricky? I lied, that isn't my finger. What would you do? What if it. Oh, what if I felt that it was it was anything other than a finger. Yeah. What did you do? I couldn't, I couldn't see, so I just have to assume that extinguisher shaped like a dick. And the thing is, how would I know down there?

00:20:31:18 – 00:20:56:02
Like I've never had a dick in, so I wouldn't know. I just know as he put his form in there or like. Well, what I don't understand is a bit, I don't know. Yeah. That was the first time, I think, that I ever had anything go in like that. And then that was followed by the Collins escapade, which was a, you know, it was a bloody horrendous experience.

00:20:56:04 – 00:21:24:04
And like I've said that, you know, the story on here many a time, but the one of the things is when, when you're having a colonoscopy and the camera's going in, and I've had an endoscopy as well, and when you're lying on your side and you're looking out there is like a massive, like 42 inch flat screen TV, so that the doctors and nurses can see what they're doing and see what they're saying also.

00:21:24:06 – 00:21:43:05
But also you have to I don't know, was it an old that maybe was the NHS at that? I think it was, you know, an old is it's one of those amazing TVs. Surely they should give him a no lead for Christ's sake. We got to see what it is. It's probably one of those ones, you know, the old.

00:21:43:06 – 00:22:11:00
It's it's it's flat, but then you go behind it. It's massive. It's massive. Triangular fucking kill you. If it fell on, you can see. Yeah, yeah. One of those. So when they're going through you, it's just a bit weird. And like they take biopsies and it's like you see this little robot claw come out and you can feel it pinch your insides and then pull as it takes a biopsy.

00:22:11:00 – 00:22:31:20
And then you see, like blood trickle inside you. And then it makes you go around, like to watch the whole thing doing that. Yeah. Because you get weirdly interested. Probably about 45 minutes I think so. And then and they're constantly blowing air in there to inflate your, in your colon and intestines in that which is really uncomfortable.

00:22:31:23 – 00:23:02:12
Do you do a big stuff all at the same time? You do the big guff is all the air. Yeah. I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah. You with me. The seconds day. Yeah okay. Well that yeah it's it's horrendous. But like when you're going, when you're actually doing it and it's not only there's a camera that's going round rummaging around, you're also and you're thinking okay what, what are they going to find.

00:23:02:13 – 00:23:21:21
So you're seeing everything that's inside you and you're just expecting a big black tar looking substance for them to go, oh, yeah, there it is. There's the cancer. And you're just lying there just looking at the camera. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like in high definition inside your body. Yeah. I'm not sure I look, this is weird. This is. I mean, this is weird.

00:23:21:21 – 00:24:06:08
Like what? Why haven't they changed the way, why can't they blindfold me? Well, but I don't don't you can't. You have can't you have anesthetic? You can. Yeah. Well, okay, I did the second time, and I didn't see any of them. Of course, because you were passed out. Yeah. Or sedation. Sedation, waiting for this. So when I first got the first, endoscopy that I had, I was, you know, I was sedated, but again, they had that TV there, and they were going through my throat and into my, small intestine and my stomach and stuff, and you can hear them talking and saying, oh, this is gray shadow here or this.

00:24:06:10 – 00:24:22:03
And you're like, fucking now this kind of stuff. Yeah. I don't want to wait. What? I've got a fucking camera down my throat, and I can basically hear you saying he's got cancer nine times. You, they've got to be better. I think I know they do their job. The most important, they've got to do their job and they'll be nurses.

00:24:22:03 – 00:24:42:12
Listen to this. And you know, doctors, you know who. But I have no sympathy for what I'm saying. But I had my I never told you this before, but I had my I thought what it was like. I, I was removed. No. Wasn't that actually the, the I think I was my moles on my back checked. Oh yeah.

00:24:42:12 – 00:25:04:20
Yeah. I told you this story and the doctor went yes. You've got many lesions on the back. No I spoke this is about Lee lesions on the back of your back. And I'm like lesions. I've seen Philadelphia. I've got eight. Oh, God. Oh my God. You know what lesions actually mean? It's just a mark on the skin. That's all it means.

00:25:04:22 – 00:25:25:18
It's nothing. It means nothing. Moles. These. This mole here I'm showing you, man. That's a lesion. It just means nothing. Why? What did they did? Why can't what someone should have said to say, oh, you've got some moles on your back. Just say that. Yeah, just say that. Just say that. I'm saying fucking lesions. I know you're intelligent.

00:25:25:20 – 00:25:58:11
I know you're educated. You intelligent position. I know you don't need to be like naming stuff like how you would in with your other professors and stuff like that. You know, I have a bit of decency anyway. So those are the those are the two time things going, in my bum. But that's, that's been it really. That is, that's been a, that was a when I was younger like maybe 14, 15, possibly 16.

00:25:58:11 – 00:26:28:21
There was I failed an aborted attempt at the, trend that was taking everyone by storm in the 90s, which was called a turbo wank, where you would, you would rub your prostate whilst knocking one out and it'd be an insane orgasm. And I thought, you know, there's kids at school doing it after. I would, I want to try it.

00:26:28:23 – 00:26:48:05
I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. It just wouldn't go. I would have done if I could bloody do it. Bloody. But you bet your bottom dollar I would of just didn't have the commitment to push through. Yeah. It just, it was just like now it just there was that the sphincter was just like no, no God man during the running away.

00:26:48:05 – 00:27:09:01
Yeah. It's almost designed as if you're not supposed to push up that. Yeah. That's right, isn't it. It is. Yeah. Yeah I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. The. Yeah. Doing the running order and a bit of research for this. Yeah. Boy, Google search is an absolute. I've, I've just it's horrendous. As you was talking, I just did a little Google.

00:27:09:03 – 00:27:28:06
Oh, yeah. I've got some interesting stuff here as well. I could then quickly God's looking down. Right. He's looking down the guide. What are you trying to put in there for? I've literally given you the actual place. You should put it in right next to it. What is your fascination with that? But what? What is there? Why don't you say?

00:27:28:12 – 00:27:59:17
Why do you put them so close together? Really close. Really? Why have you done that? Right. So in, this is according to a Google in 2022, about 40% of people in the United States reported having tried anal sex, which is an increase from 39% in the 20. In 2020 and 2031, and 31% in 2001. So there has been a 9% increase in the last 20 years.

00:27:59:18 – 00:28:23:02
Regular sex, which is probably a lockdown's pornography, probably. Oh yeah, for sure, for sure. But what you forget about has been pornography is that they clean themselves inside and out, so they have enemas. And imagine so that when you're watching porn, there's a poop everywhere. But the normal person doesn't isn't having an enema before having the the big time sex, right?

00:28:23:04 – 00:28:45:06
No. So the chances are during sex that there's going to be shit everywhere. I mean, I that if I were frisky. Yeah, that's true, that's true. I wouldn't say there would be shit everywhere unless, it's kind of like a bit of an uncorking where you pull out and then the person diarrhea is over. That would be that.

00:28:45:07 – 00:29:08:17
That wouldn't be great, obviously. And I think there would be some naturally some residue somewhere. But I think that's, you know, part and parcel of getting up to that mucky business of what they would like to do, really. But as you were talking about America, I do have, a fun fact. Where did I put that fun fact now?

00:29:08:22 – 00:29:49:05
Brilliant. Can't find it now. Fantastic. 4000 Americans, nearly 4000 Americans visit the A&E department due to having an object stuck in their rectum. Eight out of ten cases were males in their 20s and 30s. Sex objects bottle and jaw caps, drugs, alcohol, booze and marbles, cans and right and writing implements were all found stuck in people's rectums. What are you surely, surely right?

00:29:49:05 – 00:30:15:23
You're sitting there and you're gone. You can't be so bored that there's absolutely nothing else you can do with your time. Other than pens up your ass, surely? Well, yeah. I mean, the, inquisitive side of, you know, the devil makes work vital funds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, so stick a marble up there. Marble like marble.

00:30:16:01 – 00:30:38:24
That's mental marble. Pop it up. Think about what you're doing right. Think about what you're doing and how the sphincter will close after you've popped the marble in. Yeah. You'd need you'd have to wait for a pip. It'll come out and imagine. Yeah. What it. See, a lot of these cases where people. Let's take them a bottle, for instance.

00:30:39:01 – 00:31:13:04
Now people have put bottles in and what they've done because of their kink, they've gone bass first, not neck. They've gone for the base straight, straight away. And what's happened is as the, sphincter is wrapped around the base and they fed the rest of it up, work in the weight of the neck, it creates a vacuum. And once that vacuum has been, created, they are unable to retrieve the bottle or whatever.

00:31:13:04 – 00:31:37:20
They stack up there, and then they think, fuck, that's up there. What am I going to do, get another bottle? They think they're going to back up. Oh, they think they're going to lock. You saying, just shut it out. It will come out naturally. It doesn't, it does not, it does not. Vacuum stays in there. Then they stop vomiting and then bad things start happening and they have to go to.

00:31:37:20 – 00:32:07:18
And there's moment in the panicking I don't know I don't know where it comes. I think it's just because there's a lot of just vacuum poisons stuck in them, stuck in a bottle in their body. It's a vacuum. Blame everything on the vacuum. So, I mean, this is Darwin ism, right? It's. You're learning, right? Only to be, you know, that you have to go through this terrible process because they're willing to shove everything up their asses like the little bottles that create the vacuum.

00:32:07:20 – 00:32:32:11
Yeah, I mean, that is that is that's crazy. That is that is absolutely crazy. Now, there have been some other things that I found that people have inserted in their rectum which have got stuck and they've needed to go to, to and now there are many things. So I'm not going to go for an exhaustive list, but there was two of my favorites.

00:32:32:13 – 00:33:16:20
One was sent in by your brother Joe, which I will, read out. Yeah. So a doctor pulled out a 26 inch eel out of a man's backside after, he forced the live creature into his anus, and it started to bite his large intestine. Now, with this, they would normally put a camera up there, and they were, I was reading, so they put a camera up there or they'd put something up there and they try and retract it, but they were unable to because there was also a lemon up there and it was blocking the passage.

00:33:16:24 – 00:33:36:01
So they had to do an operation to get the air and lemon out. Why have you got an eel and a lemon up there now? It was one thing, but one the lemon. What's that doing? The lemons in there is stuck already. And then he's gone. I just I forget the lemon that's gone.

00:33:36:03 – 00:33:54:22
Getting this was all forgetting this. And then he's sitting there, right. He suddenly sitting there and he's just gone. I've got this eel. And that's weird enough. Who fucking had an eel in their hands? Like, never. Unless you're eating jelly. There's no one fucks around with you. And he's like, no, I, I'm going to put this up my ass.

00:33:54:24 – 00:34:15:14
I said, life im it's well internal process. Right? I've got to still think I'm going to put this up ass. Someone's giving me this live who I don't like. They taste horrible. Must have just stick out my ass. That's the only thing I could think of doing it. Yeah, think from the will. Not keep it as a pet.

00:34:15:16 – 00:34:44:03
Not do anything with it. Anything. The first thing stick out. Mouse it up. Now this next one. It's not as severe. Actually, I don't even know which one is worse. A Frenchman was found to have an eight inch artillery shell wedged in his ass. When they asked him, how did it get there? Fell over or fell over?

00:34:44:05 – 00:35:01:09
Now, I just said sexually interested in it. So he stuck it up there. He didn't even try and lie about it. I mean, that's the thing I love about this story. He didn't even a lot of people liberated, aren't they? They they pretend they trip and fell. And we have got, someone in who who sent something but to discuss it.

00:35:01:09 – 00:35:24:03
An artillery show. What's going through your mind? Do you remember? Do you remember the mayonnaise jar man on the internet in the late, late 90s, maybe early 2000? I do. I didn't know it was a mayonnaise jar, but I know there's a glass jar. All right. Yes. Just so people don't have to. Don't have to, go look for it.

00:35:24:05 – 00:35:53:20
I've seen it a few times. The just it would be like back in the day, you'd have emails you get emails on. The email would just be an embedded video. Yeah. Like sending shit around the internet would be done by our email. But then we didn't have WhatsApp that protects everybody from all the horrible stuff. Right? Every no one like, you know, when you judge people online for same things that they that you know, they've said and it may be in Twitter from 2011.

00:35:53:22 – 00:36:09:12
Yeah. You said was in your WhatsApp groups. It's just no one knows because it's encrypted. All right. So just give me a break. You said was even if you're joking, taken out of context you said was all right. So if everyone could just give each other a break here, that'd be great anyway. But then there was no WhatsApp.

00:36:09:12 – 00:36:32:18
There's no encrypted messaging. Right. So you just send mad stuff to your work email, you get mad stuff up, you like work in there and it'll go as in the from Paul. I know Paul went out for a few beers for your time. Yeah. Oh, it's off your man with a jar. There's music playing. Oh and he's he's he's pushing the jar up his ass.

00:36:32:20 – 00:36:52:03
He squatted on. It isn't a he's squatting on it. It's going on. You can hear you can hear the kind of ambient noise in the room. Yeah. And he's squatting down and he looks like he's having a good time. This is after 11 on the Tuesday morning for me. Yeah, I know you hear is Rick. Yeah. The jailbreaks.

00:36:52:05 – 00:37:10:11
Yeah. And you proceed to see this man try to pick broken glass out of his ass. Not you not having a full view of that. You can just see him starting to panic. Is the panic in it? Yeah, the panic and then the blood and then blood pouring out of his asshole. Yeah. And then he sort of somehow scampers along.

00:37:10:11 – 00:37:30:21
Thing. I want to stop video of this. Yeah, I should probably stop. I should probably sort this out. Yeah. Yeah. And and doesn't delete it, clips it up into a nice sort of two minute package and and shares it with the world. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And there was one I remember receiving and at that time it, you know a lot you were saying.

00:37:30:23 – 00:37:58:20
And what happens now there's all kinds of muck flying around in WhatsApp groups, men and women. Everybody's doing it. And there was one image that was sent to me that it's quite hard to start, or maybe quite hard for me to be shocked. Mean there was a lady who was on her back, legs raised. There was a contraption used on her pommel that is used to widen it.

00:37:58:22 – 00:38:23:06
So it's a big hole so that you could see down it. And a man had poured milk down this bum hole and cereal, and he was proceeding to eat cereal out of this gaping hole. Seen that one? Look, I know I was like, look, I'm up for a laugh. You know, I'm up for a bloody laugh. I but that was like, I don't I don't think they were doing it for a laugh.

00:38:23:06 – 00:38:45:11
Well what did I what who's even into that. So. So someone really loves cereal. So I know, I know I can I know exactly what you're talking, you know. Yeah. No, exactly. We've all seen it. Yeah, yeah, I just say that. I mean, I can't not. Do you remember, I can't remember blue waffle. No. No. Yes. No. Top girl top.

00:38:45:11 – 00:39:11:20
Go. It's, Yeah, I do, I do remember. Yeah. There's is a lady from. But where's it from where she from East Asia. Right. And, she's, she's she's, you know, on a shoulders in a bathtub. Yeah. So that her ass is in the air exposed, and, ankles are sort of. But brown areas are, so you can imagine that.

00:39:11:22 – 00:39:34:23
Yeah. And she's firing. What? She firing? I think it's like diarrhea. Yeah, it might be diarrhea. Yeah. But interestingly, she's got a socks pulled up to her knees. Yeah. And the diarrhea as it shoots out and up goes back on her face. Onto her face. Yeah. Well, I mean, whereas I mean like, so I plate cycle.

00:39:35:00 – 00:39:52:07
So, so with you in the whole discussion about, like, the poo in on your advice, you know, I don't think anyone who's listening is down with that. And if you are, please email in and let us know. Yeah. How could you possibly, you know. Yeah.

00:39:52:09 – 00:40:20:13
So all that kind of stuff and, artillery shell now alive, ill know different things going up there. Now, we have had a message from a nurse to go along those similar lines. When I was doing my nurse training, I had all sorts of people come in with things up there. How? Yeah. My favorite was a vicar with a King Edward potato lodged in the departure lounge.

00:40:20:13 – 00:40:47:17
Wow. I think, I think it was his explanation of how it happened that made it better. I was hungry in the middle of the night, and there was no light in the pantry. I slipped and fell on an open bag of potatoes. Yes, I'm sure you did, Vic. Yeah. Of your nose. Yeah, that's. Just be honest. If God knows already, you might as well tell the nurse King Edward good potato as well.

00:40:47:17 – 00:41:16:15
So that's that's that's I don't think you don't get you know, I think the, the type of potatoes. And now I want to read out this one is, well, because this is interesting, I discovered the potential for some fun in a fairly unusual manor. Manor? I was 16 at the time, hadn't long lost my virginity, and during the summer of 96, I had a horrific experience, a twisted testicle.

00:41:16:17 – 00:41:46:12
It's been likened to a man's version of childbirth, the levels of pain. I was taken to my GP first, as that was closer than any hospital. My memories are hazy but ended up on his examining bed, trousers around my ankles, knees tucked up, ready to accept a suppository, in my ass. As until then, breached. Also, as the doctor slid it in, I remember a very brief sort of.

00:41:46:14 – 00:42:17:19
Oh, that feels oddly good. Before being back in a world of pain. Safe to say, after this was all over, I was keen to discover what other delights could be had down there fingers, anal beads, a willing girlfriends tongue have all been welcomed and enjoyed. So his stimulation of the anus likes. It was, first discovered by a doctor's finger.

00:42:17:22 – 00:42:38:20
Yeah, while he was in pain. And then he thought, you know what? I'm gonna go back to that. I am, so I can see a bit more of that. But can we unpackaged that a little bit? Yeah, sure. If. What would you. We don't need to put labels on these things. No, but if he's getting sexually aroused by a man's finger.

00:42:38:22 – 00:43:05:01
Yeah. Is that homosexual act? I don't know, but because I think could be anything, any finger, it could be any finger. So whether it is male or female. But maybe that was part of the taboo that it was, he knew it was a male finger. So that may have thought. Oh, hello. This is this is something that's not really happened before.

00:43:05:07 – 00:43:29:13
So I don't know. So my question would, would be if you, if you have to have another colonoscopy and the finger has got to go up there, but you'd probably prefer it to be a man right. Because he knows, well, if you were to speak in the same boat, you're in the same boat. Well, I would say, like, stereotypically, women have smaller hands and fingers than men.

00:43:29:13 – 00:43:42:20
So it would be better to have a finger from a female. What about the list? Wife? Is Clive Allen? Absolutely not. Clive.

00:43:42:22 – 00:44:09:18
Good lord, that man's hands with me and Ricky. But let's see, not 15 for 14 years ago now, we interviewed Clive Allen, the expert assistant manager, said Harry Redknapp at the time and Spurs legend and we both sway. Guy and his fingers are fucking massive. So big. It was like loads of like thick sausage, Lincolnshire sausages. Yeah, yeah.

00:44:09:18 – 00:44:29:15
But that had been put in a packet. Yeah. Right. So they're all stuck together and that is what his wedding band looked like. It was about topping off an executive. My eyes. Okay. Now that's taking some tension, boy. Now I obviously have I've been researching some of this. So there's some facts about the anus before we move on with this.

00:44:29:15 – 00:44:49:01
Just sorry to cut you. I just think it would be if everybody a mates of ours. Right, who is prone to having things put up their ass. It's our good friend Leroy. Right? Yeah. I'm. He's at work at the moment. I'm just going to leave him this voice message and hopefully or leave another voice message that will be up to end the pod with.

00:44:49:03 – 00:45:11:12
Okay, but let me ask them to leave this now. Like I got them early. Hope you having a good day. Just recording a podcast with Ricky. The Lads Anonymous podcast, and the theme of it is bum holes. Things going in and out. Now we know I've everyone we know you're you're the guy when it comes to sort of things going in.

00:45:11:14 – 00:45:33:23
And I want to know if you're willing to leave a voice note that we can play, talking about why so many things. You put so many things in your ass. What what you get out of it. And, Yeah. And when we stop. So if you could leave that voice note and we can play it at the end of the show, we've got about 20 minutes to go.

00:45:33:23 – 00:45:53:07
So I know you're at work. I know you're busy, but if you could just go to the toilet, record that for us, that'd be great. Don't stick a finger out there way there. Right. Sorry. Written for someone. Hopefully replying that's amazing. Right? Okay. The skin of the anus is similar to the skin of the lips in that it is thin.

00:45:53:11 – 00:46:21:08
Both the anus and lips are made of the same type of epithet epithelial tissue. All right. So yes so lips and Uranus very similar. The type of skin on your lips is called the mucosa. The same skin you can find at your anus. Because the lips and the anus of the two ends of the pipe called a alimentary canal.

00:46:21:10 – 00:46:49:08
So it's, you know, it's like a big pipe in it. So very, very similar. So put it like that. Yeah. So, you know, it's mouth and bum, very similar. And the that the, what you call it, I think they've, they've, there's been some scientific research that you have some taste like not taste buds as in you can put food in you like you have in your mouth and you can taste, oh, that's a banana.

00:46:49:11 – 00:47:13:15
But there are taste buds in your anus as well. So when you have a chili. No, the other gut. Look it up near us. Yeah. It's not actual the taste buds, but it's like the same sensory glands. So that's why when you eat chili and you can feed on the way alleys, they it's the same, same thing. Well so what what what why when you, you know having to put the not it has no impact.

00:47:13:17 – 00:47:38:13
So because you're not tasting it's it's weird they explained it. I couldn't really be but I found it here. Right. So yes, there are taste receptors in the anus as well as many other parts of the body. In the mouth, obviously, the intestines taste receptors are located through the intestine, intestinal tract. Taste buds are clusters of taste receptors, cells that react to different foods and transmit messages to the brain to perceive taste.

00:47:38:13 – 00:48:05:04
The function of taste receptors outside of the taste system is still unclear, but in some areas they seem to be part of the chemical sensing of sugars and amino acids. There you go. So there you go. Taste receptors in your ass. Some animals, like sea creatures, can expel their internal organs through their anus as a defense mechanism, so that that is a pretty good defense mechanism.

00:48:05:09 – 00:48:28:02
Like just show them a prolapse and they run off, which is great. The starfish has an anus located on its upper surface near the center of its body. See, that's that's what I'm talking about. Maybe not, like, have an anus in your stomach. Not not there, but just not as close to the other. Fun. This is what I kind of would have liked.

00:48:28:02 – 00:49:03:06
But, you know, we are where we are in medieval Europe. People. People believed that certain diseases, the diseases, could be cured by inserting objects into the anus. So they've always there's always been a fascination with the, the Victorian era. So I rise in the use of anal plugs originally designed for medical purposes. So throughout the years of time, people have been putting things in and out of your bum.

00:49:03:06 – 00:49:27:10
Now, just to round this off, where do you stand on anal tattoos? Wow. So you can have, you can have tattoos on your actual also I don't I why what does it do. Why is, just dark. It's just that I've heard of the bleaching that porn stars bleach. So it's not brown also. Right. You skipped one.

00:49:27:10 – 00:49:45:08
So we'll discuss that in now. So it's, It's. I know bleaching an anal tattoo. Like you've got a tattoo on your arm. You want to show people there's no. I don't understand it. Who's going to see it? Like, other than your boyfriend and what is it? There's no space to draw a picture there. What I would like, actually, I've just thought this.

00:49:45:08 – 00:50:07:06
I would like my missus to get a tattoo of my face on her bum and where the ass always is. My eye. So it's like she's winking at me. That'd be. That'd be nice. Every time. I'm. What? Fuck that. Just see myself winking at myself for the sake of the pod. Should we. Should we get tattoos on our asshole?

00:50:07:08 – 00:50:27:01
Okay, I've had a reply from Leith. Amazing. Do you want to play it? Do you think you should secretly play it? No. You don't know what he's going to say. I told him clearly what we see today. Right. Okay, so I'm just gonna play it. I don't know what day. What? He says you won't be here this weekend, but the recording will really,

00:50:27:03 – 00:50:53:17
You could absolutely fuck off not doing that. That's my private information. The ultimate share with the world. You can piss off any. A fucking weird little podcast of Ricky talking about my. I also why why have you gone there? No, do not give permission for this. He said you told me to fuck off. That he doesn't. He does not give us the permission.

00:50:53:19 – 00:51:22:24
Go. Why have you gone there? That's my my information. Only you can fuck off. There it off. Well, what would you say about, people that pack drugs up there? Bum? To get them over the border. To get them into. Yeah, I suppose to get them. Are you okay with that? Are. Yeah. Is that right to go out there I, I will I mean if I, if I had to that would be what it was plug in.

00:51:23:01 – 00:51:39:18
But but the problem is, is you I think like these scanners now they can see if you've done that. So yeah it's kind of pointless. Like I know people you go if you go into a festival and you panic not panic, you can get it into festivals. That isn't a bar. That's an extreme. You put it in your pocket.

00:51:39:18 – 00:52:06:16
They never put your hands, their hands down your pants, for fuck's sake. The festival, the such as in festivals. Unless is a dog, tokenistic? They have to do it. But going through airports. So anyway of it. No. So we in terms of I'll tell this story now because it's such a long time, time ago, but we're going to a festival in Portugal and we didn't have any conex out there to serve us.

00:52:06:16 – 00:52:26:02
So we, I, we made the decision to take some on the plane itself to smuggle some drugs. So I this is all a story. None of this is true, by the way. Right. So, we, we I was thinking about ways that we can do it. Like, do we put it in, it plug it in. Shampoo bottles.

00:52:26:04 – 00:52:51:09
Yeah. So just put it in there. Tighten up. Yeah. And it was like, oh yeah, I just, I, I've not really I'm not, I fe with drug smuggling etiquette but I would definitely want drugs. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna do this. Yeah. So I had it in the belts under the belts of my jeans. That's why I decided to smuggle the drugs.

00:52:51:11 – 00:53:07:11
So it's wraps. That is. That seems like a ridiculous idea. Yes. I absolutely think you, you have to take your belt off to go through this. Not not then you didn't know. Sometimes you didn't. You don't have to do it now, but certainly not there. And that wasn't a thing you had to do. You didn't really have to undress much.

00:53:07:13 – 00:53:28:19
You just had to put issues of stuff like that. Right jacket. But you put your belt on. There was no scanner ever. There was no scanner. Right. Okay. Just you go through and you get searched. That would be it. Right. So I'm thinking they're not going to check on the bill the last minute. I decided I'm going to put it my hair gel.

00:53:28:24 – 00:53:49:12
I'm just going to put in my hair hairdryer. We're checking the baggage. I'll put it in the hair gel. That'll be fine. Literally. I'm talking like that. She says a minute before we got to security, I went for the scanner, went off, beep him off first thing he did, run his fingers through my belt. First thing, first thing you did.

00:53:49:14 – 00:54:10:04
I was so close. I mean, I don't know what happened. It's such a small amount. Nothing. But imagine. But wouldn't it wouldn't be nice to go on all day for sure. Yeah. And then we got through. We got through. But we had the thing. It was most of it was stored away in, you know, checked in luggage, and then we would get in on the plane.

00:54:10:04 – 00:54:31:20
And then there was this delay. I mean, like, like a 20 minute delay waiting, queuing up outside the plane. You not found it? Found everything legal. That's Joe, we got the jail. They hadn't found anything. It's equality. We had a great time. Yeah, but if you listen to this, don't don't, don't don't smuggle. Don't they fuck up everything?

00:54:32:00 – 00:54:54:03
Absolutely. Do not do that. But yeah, they know. Especially with the scanners. They the scan the body. They can. So any foreign objects on your body. So it's not worth it. Yeah. They would definitely go to Glasgow as you find three ecstasy pills in in your pocket. I just, I just take the posh bottom before, before the flight, it wasn't three.

00:54:54:03 – 00:54:57:20
I took two away. And I'm one.

00:54:57:22 – 00:55:28:11
Best flight. My life. Jesus Christ, I'd never, ever do that to to finish this bottom subject up. Are you okay with, like, body parts, fingers, tongues, penises? No, no. Nothing. Nothing to cut the bottom. Nothing. No. No anus. Sexual pleasure stuff. Little beads, vibrators. There was always. No, no, I've never had anything like that. But there is the there is the male prostate which is current can be stimulated.

00:55:28:11 – 00:55:48:22
So why is it there if you're not supposed to stuff, shove stuff up there. Exactly. Good question. Exactly. That is that is a bloody good question. Why did you watch you list all these things off? Because, it was just to check what should be going in and what should be going out. So this, as far as I'm aware, nothing should be going in apart from drugs.

00:55:48:24 – 00:56:13:15
And the only thing that should come out is, is poo, which is, you know, acceptable as well. So there you have it. That now topic has been closed. We are going to go on to dilemmas and something only you know in a minute. So the topic for next week is called bed Springs. So I am the worst person to get up and get out of bed ever.

00:56:13:17 – 00:56:34:06
And actually I won't say have a because my don't and my missus probably worse anyway. So there needs to be something, anything that will make me spring out of bed. And there's, you know, there's a handful of things, this is what the topic is going to be. What are those things that make you jump out of bed with excitement?

00:56:34:08 – 00:57:06:07
Holidays. Fishing could be an all day gig. Could be something. A project at work that you're just fucking dying to get into. It probably would be. That absolutely wouldn't be that. Anyway, we want to know the things that make you just fucking spring out of bed and ready for the day, because you can't wait to do it. So send us your stories to the lads anon pod at gmail.com and we will discuss that in next week's pod.

00:57:06:09 – 00:57:31:19
So the dilemma, for for this week is called we know we should stop, but we can't. And something only you know is I just can't get enough. Now you just know that these are going to be anus themed. So we're going to go into dilemmas now, just, just tired. You've got an issue for a tissue.

00:57:31:21 – 00:58:00:22
You're a bit sad cause pain will be an aching in your soul alone in your flat. Please talk to Vicky. Flat head. Let the stress of your chest. Well, friend, you deserve it. Back. You like you're safe here to get nice and warm between brachial and. We know we should stop, but we can't. Not sure how.

00:58:00:24 – 00:58:21:15
Not sure how to start this, so might as well get straight to it. Right at the beginning of lockdown, two of my friends and I started sending voice notes of our farts out of complete boredom. We found it really entertaining and we'd be back and forth all day, sending and listening to each other's farts to pass the days of being locked inside.

00:58:21:17 – 00:58:43:21
This was all good, honest, fun. Things escalated. One day, one of the boys posted a picture of their shit and we were all loving it. Before we knew it, we were all sending pictures and videos of our shits. It didn't take long for this to leak out into the rest of our friendship group, but the others were not on board whatsoever.

00:58:43:21 – 00:59:13:11
They thought it was gross. Fast forward four years and all three of us are still in this separate group chat where we create content revolving around our thoughts and shit. But it's only got worse. Some videos have been sent from underneath the anus, so you can literally see the shit reaching us. How it's so fucking gross. They're so hilarious at the same time.

00:59:13:13 – 00:59:39:15
Sometimes we do funny ones. When we put a lot of effort into the build up of the poo. Recreate little movies edited in, 000, revolving and building up to a big shit. We even have little nicknames for each other sludge troll, poo goblin, Peter Griffin pants. I literally have four years worth of mining. My mate shits on my phone at the flick of a finger.

00:59:39:17 – 01:00:00:21
We've all spoken about how it's actually quite gross and we should probably stop, but we just can't. We have days when we don't want to be involved, but then the following day we do a cracker of a shit and it just feels wrong not to share it with the boys. My dilemma is, do we carry on what makes us happy or should we delete the group?

01:00:01:00 – 01:00:31:10
The photos and the vents back is pretty disgusting to be honest. It's revolting. That is revolting. Yeah. Delete it. It's like it's every your gallery in your phone as well as I. Yeah, well, you have to turn off like that. That's a WhatsApp schoolboy error anyway. So anything that you see on WhatsApp, there's a setting where everything that's sent via WhatsApp is automatically safety camera.

01:00:31:11 – 01:00:50:01
You need to turn that off straight away. Yeah. I, but how you say you find the love of your life and they find out about this group, which they probably will because your extended friends know about it. That's a hard sell, by the way. We've been doing this for four years. Editing videos of us. Videos of us.

01:00:50:04 – 01:01:15:19
That's, I think, want to say it. It's disgusting. Yeah. I mean, I'd like I will be honest, there has been a back and forth with a fellow listener of Lads Anonymous where it's not a day, it's not every day or anything, but when there's been a particularly bad one or a particularly that's impressive, they get sent to that person and they send me one and I will send one back.

01:01:15:21 – 01:01:45:18
I love the way how you I you've just come in and you're looking at me like what? What you're saying you're you're you started a group. It's not a group. It's just between myself and another person. And it's we not regularly ever. But there have been maybe once a month of someone has done a particularly impressive one, an absolute Lincoln logger or that, you know, it's been it's like a murder scene.

01:01:45:19 – 01:02:06:24
It's a sexual theory. No, no no, no no, I tell you, no. That's a no no not not no. Nothing sexual. It's just impressive to see when if someone's done an absolute log and it's like a baby's arm, like I, I do want to see that. And if it's one of those ones where it's. I know it's clearly you do know this person.

01:02:06:24 – 01:02:27:18
Yes you do the other day. Oh this is it. No, it's not really. I was sitting sitting down, Tottenham at the caf, about to tuck into my fry up, and this person sent me a message and I thought, oh, the name flashed up. I wonder if that they're at the game. They want to meet me at the game.

01:02:27:18 – 01:02:42:21
We want to meet for a pint. As I clicked on it, I saw it turn out and I was like, are you fucking? I know it is. I know, I know exactly who it is. Haha. I won't bring it up, but how will I, how could I, how could I say this in a way that wouldn't give him up?

01:02:43:02 – 01:03:04:05
I know it is. I'm almost certain I know is you probably day. Then he's probably listening, cackling away at this. I'm not going to say because he might not want to say, but I'm going to look at your WhatsApp now. Okay. All right. Let me have a look. He. Yeah. Let me have a look. Recent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:03:04:08 – 01:03:24:15
There you go. What's up? Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. It's a pig. I know there are there are other people that send, other things, but, for a running group to be happening for three years daily for a daily post, it's too much. It's a bit too much freakish.

01:03:24:15 – 01:03:47:07
Yeah, well, don't you just, finish that morning, put some rules in there just to say if it is a particularly big one, like people want to say that or a bit of it, if it's a particularly bad one. People who just make some rules don't do it daily. Just wear yourself off it. Win yourself off it. Now we're going to go into something only you know and this is a corker.

01:03:50:16 – 01:03:58:04
Something, you know, you.

01:03:58:06 – 01:04:23:01
Just can't get enough. Been wanting to write in for a while. Listening days. Pod. It seemed very appropriate. It all started some years back when my missus got the hump with me because I got a face tattoo. Only a small one. But she went mental. We argued for a few days and she said I could keep it on one condition.

01:04:23:03 – 01:04:54:09
She got to pick me. Well, all the guys have spoken about it, but none actually admitted to it. So I let her. Only a small strap on at first. After we done the deed and I applied my demon semen, we lay there talking and she asked me what it was like. Good God. I told her I wanted to do it again, but I wanted a more veiny cock as this one was too smooth and I wanted some texture.

01:04:54:11 – 01:05:18:12
She applied over the course. Over the next few months, battering me left, right and center all kinds of strap ons. It reminded me of the dick drawings of super bad. Such a variety. I loved it, but there was one that was far too big and it hurt me. I came up with the idea of getting my face tattoo removed so she wouldn't take me any more.

01:05:18:12 – 01:05:38:23
After this, I spoke to her about it and said that I would get it removed if you didn't pick me anymore. She agreed to this and on the plus side, she's quite adventurous and agreed to a threesome with one of her mates instead. So after getting the tattoo lasered off, you can only see a tiny bit of it.

01:05:39:00 – 01:06:00:09
About 4 or 5 months had gone by and I'd still not had a mind blowing orgasm. Like when I was getting pegged. I sat down and chatted with the missus about doing it again. She promised to use loads of lube. This is the key and very important. Now I'm just a cock for I love getting pegs whenever I can.

01:06:00:15 – 01:06:23:10
She's proper sizing me up. I wear pop plugs to the gym sometimes and chat with my mates, but they don't know. I love getting shafted by the missus. Now I'm hoping for the threesome with their mate. I want to get spit roasted. I cannot tell you how good this feels. Just start off with a cheeky finger in the bum and work your way up.

01:06:23:12 – 01:06:46:19
It'll be the best oh you'll ever have. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. And that's something only I know. What? What's his name? Nothing. There is absolutely no judgment. Like, if you find, like, if you want to. It's just.

01:06:46:21 – 01:07:09:03
I like I like the escalation of it all. He's just started small, and now he on to an absolute wanker. That's. Yeah, all of it. I'm not sure what to say other than, Than than than. Fair play. And thanks for sharing. And, you know, you crack on, you know, whatever you if if that constitutes what is.

01:07:09:09 – 01:07:27:22
Well, it could have been an unhealthy sex life. If I like. It's just that she used leverage she when I don't like that. So I'm going to fuck you in your ass. And so it's gone. Now, I think we could all use it. I think we could all use a bit of fuck is the other way round.

01:07:27:24 – 01:07:52:24
Touching that is the way around. Like Mrs.. Like I didn't lose some address. No. Take it back, and I'm going to fuck you in the off. It's the same thing I tried to my Mrs.. As I'm slapping that, by if, you know, I get to fuck you in the ass. Oh, God. Oh, God. I need to get for 11 coming.

01:07:52:24 – 01:08:21:08
I mean, I mean, Ricky, it's 11:01 up they stairs. I'm running up the stairs. He pats my bum and I'm like, oh, God, it's gonna happen again. Yeah. Fair play, fair play. Yeah. Fair play. And thanks for saying that in. Now, as I said, next week's topic is going to be bed. Spring is, what is it? What activities, what things that make you get up and spring out of your bed like there's no tomorrow?

01:08:21:08 – 01:08:51:18
Because getting me up is a fucking mission. So Saint Joe's in the lads. Anon pod, gmail.com. And we will see you next week. Dim night, hazy light. Band of brothers playing tunes. Hi. As quite midnight waves in through till daylight breaks. Rhythm hit us different ways. Love of music that we prayed with our tongues in cheek.

01:08:51:18 – 01:09:21:02
Band as we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise. You can absolutely fuck off not doing that. That's my private information. The, share with the world. You can piss off any fucking weird little podcast of Ricky talking about my. I also why why have you gone there? No, I do not give permission for this.