#5 | The side hustle you didn’t know you needed…

00:00:00:00 – 00:00:25:08
Hello and welcome to episode five of Lads Anonymous, a podcast about two best mates of over 20 years. Invite you to join their safe space where all manner of subjects will be discussed. We'll focus on a specific subject matter first and then we'll answer your questions, dilemmas or need for advice. All handled anonymously. Yes, I fucking got that word right.

00:00:25:10 – 00:00:44:01
Then fuck it up this time. So sit back, relax and enjoy the next hour. Oh, that's. Oh not now. Olives. Now. Last one was a long. Don't say the word hour. I know it might be an hour, but just don't say the word out because I'm like, how it feels like a long time. Yeah. It does. All right.

00:00:44:01 – 00:01:09:15
Okay. We'll just sit back and relax for a bit. For a bit. Now I'm comfortable. Yeah. And enjoy yourself. Just enjoy yourself. One of the things that we did as a part of our friendship. Ricky. Yeah. The formed our friendship. We know each other because of Tottenham Hotspur football Club. That's correct. And, I don't I don't actually go to football with Ricky much anymore.

00:01:09:17 – 00:01:32:15
Very rarely. And I feel really sad about it today. Yeah. I like I'd love the idea. We as we record Tottenham are playing Wolverhampton Wanderers tomorrow and I just really some of me just really wants to go. I really, really want to go. And, I just, I miss those days. Rick, I when was the last time we did it?

00:01:32:17 – 00:01:54:05
There was a match. I can't remember what the game was, but, who did we play? Maybe Everton or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. And you came along. Yeah, I remember that. It's a good day. And all you did was complain the entire fucking day. I don't want to go with you anymore. You ruin the day. I want to play you.

00:01:54:05 – 00:02:14:10
You were. You were so angry. You got off the train. You were like you were pink faced and out of puff. And you were that fucking fucking London fucking train fucking round her. Right. And I was like, well, nice to meet you. May as it go in as you journey go. Well did it. And then I was like, right, I remember complaining that much.

00:02:14:12 – 00:02:32:19
And then I said let's go to the caf greasy spoon. And you're like, my I ain't fucking eating anything all day. I've been up on the train early doors probably, but I'm not. Okay. Some food boy, look at some, you know, shit all over veggie omelet or something like that. You'd be right. Some chips, get some chips. And we went and we went and at the caf.

00:02:32:19 – 00:02:56:17
And then you had to got me that you were so full up that you could no longer drink beer. And then after that, you had another got me that you were pissed because you're eating food and I'd ruin the day for ya. That is true. But the the issue. But no, that is true. I don't remember complaining that much.

00:02:56:17 – 00:03:21:21
I don't remember complaining that being annoyed at you that we ate food because yeah, I couldn't get drunk and I was sober all day and I but also the amount of food you eat at Spurs is mental. Yeah. I mean, I it is they that. Yeah. They did I did go for a full English but with chips when I all around the gym.

00:03:21:23 – 00:03:42:03
No, that's a lie. You're fucking lying. He ain't lying. And I watched you do it. I watched maybe maybe your meat free sausages. You know, you got you got a large English breakfast and chips, and then you just walk around like nothing's happened. You haven't absolutely fucking ruined the day. I. Yeah, I know I have weighed in slightly.

00:03:42:03 – 00:04:03:16
I have, I have come down on the amount of items because it does like you, like you had found out that when you're drinking, you're not getting pissed because I fit any more in your body. You look at your slow. You not the one that I have for there's probably like a problem with the atmosphere at football grounds because everyone's getting fucking smashed up on fry ups.

00:04:03:18 – 00:04:24:03
Everyone's full up and yeah, they, full up and farting full up and a bit tired. That's not. You don't want to be full up and a bit tired going into a football match. You're right. Actually, I think that that's a bloody good, this is I'm glad you brought that up, because maybe that is why English football stadiums are a bit more quiet.

00:04:24:03 – 00:04:45:03
Because everyone's just full up on pies. But fryer said, I had a few beers and it's like, man, I'm fucking knackered. I want to go to bed. That when you don't even want a beer. Yeah. I was going to say, I had a bit of, not meltdown this week. But you did after you, pulled me out of a holding.

00:04:45:04 – 00:05:10:18
Yeah. Did I, yeah, I had, and, endoscopy this week. Yeah. On on Tuesday. Tuesday morning. I've been dreading it, man. Absolutely dreads it. And Ricky. Ricky has been convinced that he's seriously ill for. Yeah, since I've known him. Basically. You know, I love this. Say, that's alive and that's. That is 100% true. And what we will do.

00:05:10:20 – 00:05:29:03
On on, lads, there is going to be a topic on health anxieties. I know there's a lot of people that suffer. I know a lot of people suffer in silence. I know a lot of the shit goes right in people's minds. And we get into that age where, you know, the grim Reaper is on our shoulder and looks and he's like, not today.

00:05:29:05 – 00:05:50:18
But maybe, I mean, not. I've just I've I think that's a great episode, future episode, but I do I do have one to do. What should I say? I mentioned it earlier in the week. Yeah. Girl, I just basically there was a short period in my life where I thought I definitely had Aids.

00:05:50:20 – 00:06:11:14
Definitely. I was convinced. I thought you were you were telling me that that's what you were telling me off the ledge. What I was I was trying to make you feel better because in your brain, you were convinced that you were ill, right? Yeah. Even though the doctors had said that you're not ill, you're fine. These are the reasons you're feeling this way.

00:06:11:16 – 00:06:33:04
But I thought, well, I'm going to tell him the story. When I thought I was convinced I was dying of Aids. Right. Yeah. That that did make me feel better. Do you know what I. I want to leave that conversation because it fucking made me piss myself. Well, you know, I'm not going to tell him, actually, you know, go on and tell them that they'd be fuming if you do.

00:06:33:06 – 00:06:41:11
Unless unless I tell you what you need to review flat side story.

00:06:41:13 – 00:07:20:01
Did anybody, did anybody mention Brussels croissants in Brussels? Yeah, loads of people. Absolutely loads of people on Twitter. Instagram, you know, in Spotify when you can leave. Comments. Yeah. If you go do an episode, you can leave comments. Loads of people. Where can you find that. So at the comment people have left. Yeah. So I've had some, nighttime activities and I decided that I probably wasn't going to use a condom.

00:07:20:03 – 00:07:48:02
I wish bad to see how I. Yeah, why would you why would I exist? I don't really understand them. You make bad decisions in the night when you're young and, when you're full of, you know, narcotics that that don't serve to do anything healthy and only say it makes my brain go just do that. Hope be right.

00:07:48:04 – 00:08:07:02
What's the worst that can happen? That's that's that's that was my gym. Any amount of times on the nights out, Rick. See what? Yeah. Yeah. See what happened. Yeah. Let's do this and see what happens. And. Yeah, that that's all fun and games until you have to see what happens. And then in this instance, I, I had nothing.

00:08:07:04 – 00:08:30:10
I had sex with this girl, and I, it was a month later. Started to feel a bit poorly built. And at the same time, bearing in mind that I got my job, but then was writing, my, I was quite a big job doing lots of things, but one part of it was writing sexual health leaflets for young teenagers.

00:08:30:12 – 00:08:50:06
So I'd have to write these leaflets. So I knew a lot about sexual. And to this day I know if anyone's got any questions sending about their, sexual health, I could probably help them out. Anyway. So I'm like, shit, man. This links up a month after two weeks to a month after I fell ill. I've got.

00:08:50:06 – 00:09:07:12
It's that's what the brain. That's why I'm writing this so much. So I went to the doctors and doctors and said, there's this thing on my back. I didn't say anything about the Aids. Obviously. There's this thing on my back. I thought I had this scratch or this wound on my back, right? And my brain in its fucking mental state at that.

00:09:07:13 – 00:09:33:18
That time there was this 20s, right? The, the scratch on my back, there was a scratch. And I said to doctor, can you have a look at this? And he went, oh, this there's many lesions all over your back. And that's in my brain. Lesions. Yeah. Man, that boils. Oh fucking yeah. Wounds or open. Yeah, yeah. What lesions are there any more from the skin or anything on the skin.

00:09:33:23 – 00:09:56:18
And in this instance he was talking about the number of moles I have on my back. Moles. Ricky, in my brain like I'm walking away with conversation. Kind of what lesions all over my back to you to have an Aids. Yeah. You've got Aids all over your back. Living, breathing all are all all up in my grill. Like, and so I ask my mum to have a look at my back, and she was like, yeah, you've got lesions on your back, but you've got them also on your arms.

00:09:56:18 – 00:10:12:22
And I'm like, what you've got? And it was fucking moles that they were talking about. My brain told me, you know, I'm dead. It was a bit of the scratch on your back. And that's, that's where the aids got in. That's where it was living, by the way. It wouldn't have been Aids. It would have been HIV.

00:10:12:22 – 00:10:35:18
But anyway, yeah, I don't know the difference. And that is I think we'll do a put on that as well on, kind of again in the health anxieties realm. But in the high realm we've had, we've had quite a few questions about that. Is coming in for the anus. I think maybe we could, we could tackle that together.

00:10:35:18 – 00:11:02:03
And as you said, you've got a bit of knowledge. And we know a an amazing nurse that can help us out as well for any questions. Yeah. So we know several we we talked about they. Oh yeah. Of course you get fight. Yes. That's correct. Yeah. Let's do it with me. Yeah. Yeah. If she's listening where you send in your sexual health and your sexual health problems and we'll talk to you about them and you can get anonymous.

00:11:02:03 – 00:11:26:10
So we need the details about how you got the sexual health problem. Yeah. And what you can do about it. That sounds good. Sounds good. I want to, just have a have a little back in time, boy, for the last part. Oh, yeah. Some people have sent in some stuff. What? We went over. So I thought, we'll, we'll have a little highlight and look back on the last part.

00:11:26:10 – 00:11:47:12
You still need to do a little bit of a jingle for this. Okay. That Alex is working on. Is that a busy week? He knows. He knows what he's doing. Sweet. So this is on, Valentine's Day, and this was sent in by a lady. So we know, we know, we know. The ladies are listening. Everyone's welcome in the circle of trust.

00:11:47:14 – 00:12:13:08
Come on in. So I just wanted to share with you mine and my husband's thoughts on Valentine's Day. Basically completely overrated. We've never celebrated it. Ever. It gives me the complete ick. And I'd be totally grossed out if he ever turned up on Valentine's Day with flowers. Like Flav, he once bought me. Probably the best present he ever got me a cordless Dyson Hoover.

00:12:13:10 – 00:12:48:13
Now it. Ream. Yes. Come on. One day I complete surprise that call this Dyson Hoover was there, and it was the best present that she's ever received. Apart from she. She got tickets to Tottenham v Brighton at the weekend, but it just goes to show like this. If yes, if you like and listen to the details of what your partner wants or what they've shared, I'd like to, you know, go to a pottery class one day and then you turn up with standard flowers that everyone else buys.

00:12:48:13 – 00:13:12:09
I just listen, just a few if you want to have a listen to that. Hey, you know what? You know what this is, is people out there that listen more to people on the internet, you don't even know them than their own wives. Yeah, husbands. Like that's what we're talking on. Last week, we said we came up the free gifts that we've we've given all our, our respective wives here.

00:13:12:09 – 00:13:33:05
Ricky. Yeah. I love I listen back to the podcast and I, and I, and I come back from the 90s. How is this going to land? Right? I bought my Mrs. a fridge and an iron. And Ricky, you said, oh, I usually bought by, you know, my Mrs.. As much for Valentine's Day, but I'd really do something special.

00:13:33:10 – 00:13:52:14
Serving bowls. Yeah, I had nice pattern. Did she like it? I think she did, like, I mean, she wasn't exactly bowled over. It was like, this is the best thing. That's anyone. But we don't buy each other anything. So she was shocked that I'd actually got her something. And then she appreciated the thought of me getting that.

00:13:52:14 – 00:14:21:01
I'm that she's very social with her family and everyone else. And so, yes, she, she enjoyed it. Another one that's come in. This is from Canada. Me and the missus both agree that Valentine's Day is a bit over commercialized, and we prefer to show each other our appreciation every day, like you should. That's good. I like that stay can be J day, however, is an occasion we plan on celebrating.

00:14:21:03 – 00:14:45:06
It and it will closely be followed up with Chicken and licking day. I've not heard of this chicken and they can convey. Well, I would like it. They can would be Valentine's Day, wouldn't it? Well, I don't know. I said. Yeah, there, you know, break in day. I mean, I don't know about this. Maybe I'm out and I just don't know.

00:14:45:08 – 00:15:13:17
Never heard of it. I need to find out the actual day for this. At least there's a day, is there? When it's chicken election day, it's March 21st. The week the 18th and April. Right. 40 diaries, 14th of April. So you have Valentine's Day, then you have, Valentine's Day, then you have, what was it, the chicken day.

00:15:13:19 – 00:15:36:09
Yeah. And then it's not one for the ladies chicken. And listen. Chicken and listen. They say, just go out. Buy roast chicken, cook a roast chicken, and then play them out after. So you've got a chicken in play in writing involves your. It doesn't necessarily. I mean, do you know what? Play it is? I thought it was just like out.

00:15:36:10 – 00:15:41:02
No, there is.

00:15:41:04 – 00:16:05:14
It is the outs. Yeah. Okay. It's also, you know, their ass as well. Oh. Is it like food? Mainly the ass. Is it, is it really? Yeah. I didn't know that. I just thought it was the, The fritter. That's a nice word. That's a nice word for it. It's in terrible words for the female genitalia. But you know what I mean.

00:16:05:14 – 00:16:25:03
It, I knew we were going to kind of go down that, the alley of the different names for genitalia, but maybe we'll leave that for, for another podcast, because I'll be here all day. There are some really bad ones. Yeah, I've. The times I've actually been involved in this conversation is always going badly. There's always been a negative reaction to it.

00:16:25:05 – 00:16:34:22
Right. That's, Well, the one that line for you that. No, it's. Let's. Right. There are some some lads out there.

00:16:34:24 – 00:17:08:24
Hashtag sexy dreamers as well as myself. Yeah. Listen to this. Just listen to the last part. Yeah. I can relate to the wet dream scenario. I'm a 50 year old man who sleeps in the nude. And the last time it happen was up the wife's back. Explain that away. I'm amazed by that. I because there has been lots of replies about other other men at my age, younger and older, that still have sexy dreams, wet dreams.

00:17:09:00 – 00:17:31:09
I'm kind of one of them. I don't know if you do want them because it is it. It's a real kind of, No one wants to get up middle of the night, start for a week or for anything clean up. But. Yeah, but but but your question, is it a pleasurable experience? Do you feel the the the lovely tingling.

00:17:31:11 – 00:17:47:24
Yeah. You do the tingle, you feel the throb and then you're like as you're coming to you, then you feel the wet patch and you're like, but what I'm saying is, do you experience the climax in the same way that you do when you're awake? Yeah. You do. Yeah. What's the I have a dream. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:48:01 – 00:18:05:16
It's weird one there. It's weird. It is weird. What's happening? You in your sleep? You knock it one out or is it just. Does it do it at night? It's I think I don't know, I think I think the gun just goes off funny. The gun goes off. Yeah. I've been trying. I don't see any of these replies so I don't know.

00:18:05:19 – 00:18:35:14
Are you being. Yeah. I am being treated the tree for the Yeah. The safety is not on before you go to bed and just you turn over. Bang. It's gone off. You let off a fucking head shot dead. It's, It's not, it's not happened in a while, actually. Although I did start to drift into a, a sexy dream last night, actually, but nothing really materialized, right.

00:18:35:16 – 00:19:01:04
So, like. I'm glad. Yeah, I will every time. Every time, we'll do a char every time I have one which will say, oh, the list. I'll just say this and see if there's a trend. I'll tell you right now if we can, between now and the end of the year, if we get if you have three blast offs during that period, we'll have a Christmas party to celebrate and everyone can come.

00:19:01:04 – 00:19:22:02
We'll have a drink up and then and then we'll add on as is. Why are we there with that? Is it Christmas party? Now Ricky dreams to see if we're all celebrating. We've turned up in London. We're all sexy dreamers. Is that a deal, Rick? Yeah, but they have a lads anonymous Christmas party. We'll we'll hire a pub out and.

00:19:22:02 – 00:19:46:10
And what we'll be celebrating is how many blast offs you've had. I've got the pub lined up already. And to go to the, the last, the last kind of bit of feedback we have. So we had a statement flowers and go down on the it was, it was just that flowers and go down and have, that's what women want in on a Valentine's Day.

00:19:46:12 – 00:20:09:09
Exactly. That's what they want. And I've had a gentleman, message in just following up on your discussion about going down on your partner and that in your experience, never being the end of the fun times. Now, what we said was, for me personally, I've never just stopped at the cunnilingus. Yeah, stopped at the Kind Lingus and then just kind of got on with my day.

00:20:09:09 – 00:20:38:12
It always drifted further into. Yeah. More sex. Yeah. Melissa. So, I was it I was in a Friends of Benefits relationship a few years ago. My partner was the noisiest love maker I've ever experienced. The good thing about this was that was never in doubt about the work, what worked and what didn't. And it drove me on to pleasure her more.

00:20:38:14 – 00:21:08:08
It was not unknown for us to be going at it for three hours with my tongue, going into our gold medalist mode, three hours with the tongue. We were together for three months and our relationship never went beyond cunnilingus. And I've never come away from our sessions with a groin in groin, in so much discomfort.

00:21:08:10 – 00:21:32:00
But when the relationship did come to an end, I asked her why she'd never suggested giving me relief, or why we'd never had intercourse, and she said that it was about to happen when the relationship ended. What? So this this guy had been with a girl for three months. Their relationship? Yeah. All he did was liquor out. Yeah.

00:21:32:02 – 00:21:52:03
Crazy lick outs for three hours. Hunza lick out. Yeah, yeah, just like that down there for hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. If that's healthy, you know. Yeah. I do not know the story of Michael Douglas got throat cancer because he kept licking women at that. Fuck off. That's that's not true. That is true. Right? He just kept going down on birds all the time.

00:21:52:03 – 00:22:16:10
So go got cancer. Oh, my God, is that true? Yeah. I'll check it up on you, but can you just can you just. I didn't know this. I didn't know that was a thing, but they explained the end of the story to me, though, while I'm not checking this out, okay, when the relationship did come to an end, I asked her why she'd never suggested giving me relief or why we'd never had intercourse.

00:22:16:16 – 00:22:39:13
Yeah, and she said that it was about to happen when that relationship ended. So they were only together for three months. And during that time he was just performing crazy licks. And then she never I don't I'm still confused by the end of the story when he she said it's about to happen when the relationship ends, like she's saying, when it ends, you're going to get the sex.

00:22:39:14 – 00:22:55:07
What? No, no, no, I think it I think it was we were about to go into sign into the sexy seas that you ended the relationship, I don't think I don't think, I don't think I don't believe a I don't believe because I think it would have definitely happened much now horned up beauty got from all that tongue in.

00:22:55:13 – 00:23:12:21
Yeah. And I think, you know the friends have benefits. Is only one friend getting the benefit out. Yeah that's one side. I'm not saying you can't enjoy it. If we get I get it I understand. But as we discussed in terms of the mouth, there's no religion sewn inside the mouth. Just a mouth. Right? Your tongue doesn't feel good when you're going down.

00:23:12:21 – 00:23:29:11
The idea of it does. So you go, she got nothing. You get all the good shit and then she don't get it. Look, giving you a little blowy on it would seem like it would make sense to me. A quid pro again. It. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Exactly. Yeah, but she never did say no one.

00:23:29:13 – 00:23:49:12
Hey, that came in from, Nova Scotia, Canada. A lot of Canadians listen to it. Is this the same Canadian man with just a lot of fuckin issues? Because that ain't a problem to solve it or don't worry about that. Michael Douglas, the star of Basic Instinct and Fatal Attraction, has revealed that his throat cancer was apparently caused by performing oral sex.

00:23:49:14 – 00:24:25:05
And this is what is. In the frank interview with The Guardian, the actor now winning plaudits in Liberace biopic Behind the Candelabra. Watch. That's really good, explained. The background to the condition was thought to be nearly fatal when diagnosed three years ago. Asked whether he now regretted his years of smoking and drinking, usually thought to be the cause of the disease, Douglas replied no, because without wanting to get two specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV, human papillomavirus, papillomavirus, which actually comes from cunnilingus.

00:24:25:07 – 00:24:44:05
Just loads bad, bad bad like ours. Wow. I didn't know that. Anything in abundance is bad for you. Yeah, the thing is, it's not going to stop me either. You can't stop me when I. People can stop you, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, with my partner, like. Yeah. I'm not going to stop you from doing it to your partner.

00:24:44:07 – 00:25:03:19
That's good, that's good. Thanks. I didn't mention if that's something I won't need to do, I'm going to stop Ricky can't stop this. Just to wake up. And there's a WhatsApp every message that you dare. So this is read that we generally found out about it, that it was a serious issue. We used to say it was a serious thing.

00:25:03:19 – 00:25:34:12
Like, why don't you speak to Ricky anymore? Well, I wanted to, I was sick of him doing cunnilingus all the time, so tried to stop him and he wouldn't. So there's been him many more. Right. Today's topic, today's topic is the rise and grind culture. Now, some people thought it was the rise of grind culture, which is is you know I that's I would that's yeah I if I would know nothing about that.

00:25:34:14 – 00:26:02:23
So it's a grind culture and I think may be talking about what is it Ricky. Sure. We should cover this. I don't know much about it, really. So just to kind of, I pulled something off the net so that you, know what I'm actually talking about. It legitimizes the idea that to be successful and get anything meaningful done, you have to be doing long hours, work hard.

00:26:03:04 – 00:26:30:24
And when you think you've worked your hardest, push harder. Hustle culture. Ideology says that people are overworking not because they're economically driven, but simply because this is the way go getters get what they want. So I'm talking about the LinkedIn posse. Get up, get up at 5 a.m.. Gym session, green juice, bullet coffee, outwork everybody in the room.

00:26:31:01 – 00:27:05:00
Then post about it on LinkedIn. You, Steve Bartletts you Gary Vaynerchuk. Every second counts. Crypto pros, forex geezers, flippin trainers, relentless work, sleepless nights, all of that shit. This is this is like when you're, the rise and grind culture. Yeah. That everyone is now seen across social media that you are nothing and no one unless you're trying to get extra income, extra revenue, extra, whatever it is before we dive into this life.

00:27:05:00 – 00:27:31:14
Laughs. Yeah. How would you here just want to remember the exact thing right guy. There was the exact type of person you're describing there I saw a tweet and it went viral recently about last year or so. And he said would you if you could give me you can give me $1 million or dinner with fingers. Jay-Z what what would you choose?

00:27:31:14 – 00:27:51:08
And everyone's like, obviously the million dollars. What are you talking about? And he was like, no, I wouldn't, I would choose the dinner of Jay-Z. And his point was, the knowledge he would get from that dinner was worth more than the million pounds in the long run. You're like your fucking moron, mate. You're a moron. You're a moron.

00:27:51:10 – 00:28:06:16
I remember saying that. Yeah, the connections that the connections can still raise and. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's worth more than a minute. Shut up bro, you give a solitary fuck about you, what's he going to do? You give up everything. You know, he's about a business and the reality of it. And I know we going to go into.

00:28:06:16 – 00:28:30:24
You got some questions, but the reality of it is everyone's experience. And the things that they've done to get them to this point is a lot of it's been invisible or not completely evident. I've arrived at this situation now where I'm talking to you and making podcasts, and it was the fucking plan, something that happened anyway. So mate, what you going to say?

00:28:31:01 – 00:28:58:17
No. So we've all that that we will get into. We'll start at the beginning with yourself. What was your first job? Woolworths in Crouch End. I got a job before I left school. It was, it was. It was the Woolworths in Crouch End. Yeah. Do you remember it? Well, I, my, my, it's not really a claim to fame, but I just moved to Crouch End.

00:28:58:22 – 00:29:23:05
I bought an electric blue feather duster from for my room. Yeah, it was standing by me. Simon Pegg. Yeah. Was fucking pig dog Simon Pegg. I was like, oh my God, oh my God, I've got a fucking electric blue feather duster in my hands. Yeah I'm sure he didn't care. Yeah, he did that. The Crouch End was full of celebrities, actors a lot of actors.

00:29:23:07 – 00:29:40:17
It was quite thespian place. Yeah. So that's why that's. That was my first job. I got it when I left. Well, before I left school, as soon as I had my gi, my National Insurance card, which means in the UK, you need that to work, and you get it about six months before your 16th birthday. You can work.

00:29:40:17 – 00:30:02:08
Right? So I just went everywhere trying to get a job. Immediately. My mum had drilled it into me that you have to work and you have to pay your way is something I was aware of very young. Not that I did that much at Woolworth's, but it was a principle of getting up, being there on time, doing your hours, getting your pay, working with money.

00:30:02:08 – 00:30:22:12
That I think was a good thing that she did that. Anyway. Yeah, that was my job. First job. Bullies loved it. I, I yeah, it was quality. It was my first sort of step into adulthood. Were you, on the tills or anything like that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've never met. Went you never been on the till.

00:30:22:14 – 00:30:44:09
I've never had a job. Been on the till. Not a barman or in retail or anything like that. I worked at a shop in Milton Keynes called Blakes Menswear. Yeah, but that was just followed in the car. Oh, no. And in the stock cupboard. All that stuff. Yeah. Never, never got the, never got to the till, man.

00:30:44:11 – 00:31:03:09
It wasn't like a, there wasn't a career path to the till. It was like, no, I know, I know, but when you, when you press a button then you're like got notes and you're on my you do it. But if a big token, you do it for, well when I joined the before our shifts. But you sometimes do eight hour shifts, and sitting on 12 hours is mind numbingly boring.

00:31:03:11 – 00:31:24:24
Trust me. For the dream, for the till. People in the till. So you do two things. You'd stock the shelves. You'd help customers and this three things, and you'd be able to tell that was it. That was the job at Woolies. And the worst one was quite liked it. But the worst one would be like the, the, the shop would close at six and you did three hours of stock in, which is another thing you did.

00:31:24:24 – 00:31:46:04
But so the dream anyone working on the tills, the dream was to become a designated sales assistant, not just the sales assistant. That's what everyone starts as a sales assistant, right? What's a daisy? Daisy gives you power. Oh, yeah? Yeah, you can do, you can, you can, you can. You can issue refunds if someone brings something back.

00:31:46:06 – 00:32:08:02
That's it. That's. There we go. Yeah, yeah. Oh, so you're not on the tell all the time. You're only on the till if you if the help out the typically a designated assistant. Someone who runs the floor. Yeah I've seen them. They like if you say if I've got a refund or want a refund, they'll have their little walkie talkie and be like, Steve, can you come to tell free we got this geezer?

00:32:08:02 – 00:32:27:00
He wants to return something and then he'll come down. He'll put his little code in. Yep. Done. That's it. You know that you are. You are God on the shop floor. If you're if that government might say. Yeah, I became the designated sales assistant. Yeah. Nice man. What do you, say? Okay. Like Woolworths? Like when I was working at Black menswear.

00:32:27:00 – 00:32:46:03
It's not. It was my. It was my job after, well, being at school and having a part time job. And then I think I left school and I worked there for a little bit, but it was never that, like you just said, it's not that career, minded. I would stay there forever. What? What made you want to leave Woolworths?

00:32:46:05 – 00:32:53:08
I got fired from Woolworths.

00:32:53:10 – 00:33:23:21
How? How do you get fired from Woolworths? Well, it's not easy to get fired from Woolworths. Like they need people. Right? I got caught stealing. You got caught stealing from Woolies, I was stealing, I was stole something. Yeah, from wars. And I got caught. Is there anything decent clothes. Good bit station. It wasn't close. What? Well, I can't remember what they sewed.

00:33:23:23 – 00:33:48:19
It must have been like some massive toy. Something decent. It was a Twix. But stealing and stealing. Rick. They were very clear about that. They took me into a room. They basically they'd been. Oh, my God, you're not joking? No, I'm not joking. Twix. It was a Twix, I was starving, I didn't eat, and I was fucking young and I needed something to eat.

00:33:48:19 – 00:34:17:14
And I thought, they're not going to miss this Twix. What had happened, Rick, is that they set up cameras, unbeknownst to anyone who worked there in the stock room, because people have been nicking actual stuff of value. Yeah. And, they they captured loads of blood. They was a line of people that were going into the manager's office office and getting fired all at once.

00:34:17:15 – 00:34:35:17
Shit, man, that happened. That happened at Blakes Menswear as well. Yeah, people love naked. They love naked. Cameras in the store from everyone was stealing the clothes, but it was the stuff in Blake's men was hidden, right? Yeah, yeah, it was a snap. Yes, it's in a fire trap. What was the other one that everyone used to wear?

00:34:35:17 – 00:35:01:16
That, Oh, man, I can't remember, but it was, It was a decent make tall Harley at work. How corny it was. Fuck. I will come back, but, yeah, loads of people. French Connection was there. That was that. Yes. Fire trap. Super dry. I mean, everything just used to get rinsed, stolen and like you said, everyone got caught in.

00:35:01:16 – 00:35:19:08
Literally everyone. We've got you on CCTV, we've seen you steal, and we've seen you putting this in your bag. And I just one after the other. Bang bang, bang. Everyone was fired, and I was just like, that was it as well. May I had the biggest operation, got it. And I didn't get my I didn't get my collar felt.

00:35:19:14 – 00:35:48:00
I cannot believe I didn't get caught. It's insane. What do you mean? Operation. So people would just be doing willy nilly bits and pieces and bags in that and okay, fine. Just putting it in your rucksack. I had that there was an alleyway that went behind the shop where you put the rubbish, and I had two black bags and I filled one with clothes and one with rubbish, take it out the back way to out the back.

00:35:48:00 – 00:36:09:18
And I'd had someone that would meet me out the back. They would take the clothes bag and I would throw it into the skip where the CCTV was. Then I'd meet them in the pub afterwards, give them a bit of money, and then I would sell those clothes at school. That's like, why don't you make it a fair bit of money?

00:36:09:20 – 00:36:33:00
For a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was making. Yeah, making a fair bit of money. You would have got a you would have got a record for that. Yeah, I know, I know, yeah. Allegedly on. Those didn't they coming for you. So they pulled us into this room. And I went in and my manager sitting there and he's looking at me.

00:36:33:00 – 00:36:54:07
Barry. The guy's name was lovely guy, stressed out. He's always so stressed out, like, why wife giving him jobs or something like that. It was that level of stress. Yeah. You know, he's like a staff eating Twix. Is staff nicking off him constantly. But people have been people. People have been nicking like pages were a massive thing back there and CDs and stuff like people like a value.

00:36:54:09 – 00:37:18:07
And they said, right, you've been caught taking a stealing company property. And I was like, what? I haven't? And obviously everyone said that because I don't know about a CCTV and I hadn't, I haven't done anything. And in that moment I was convinced, well, we've got you on CCTV stealing company property. And I was like, you haven't, I haven't stole anything.

00:37:18:09 – 00:37:47:21
I didn't, and I'm like, I'm, you know, I'm 17 now. I'm starting to think that's not great, this situation, because the theft at the police is going to be involved. It's a bit embarrassing anyway. Do you want to see the TV and went fucking lie? I didn't say that. But yes, I'd like to see the TV, CCTV and they put it on and there's this grainy image of me walking down one of the aisles, and at this huge, like there's a warehouse, these massive sort of metal shelving.

00:37:47:23 – 00:38:10:08
And I'm just standing there and I'm like, pick up this Twix and eat it, and then just chuck the wrapper in the bin. The right fuck. You got me. So they fired me. Fucking, when they say black and white like that, you really. You can't even remember eating the bloody thing. This was weeks later. Yeah, that's.

00:38:10:08 – 00:38:31:13
I mean, is that a sack offense? It's a bit. It's a bit much, innit? Technically it is, but I felt a little bit hard done by it and so much so that I got another job in Mothercare later. I, and they knew about it and was so like there wasn't convinced it was an issue and I got a job with them.

00:38:31:15 – 00:38:53:13
Mothercare work in plastic plates of other care. Well, I, the complaints this what the what it was this like a a shop or was it like. It was, it was the flagship shop, a marble arch in London. Like anyone who knows, has been to London, will walk down Oxford Street. We were right at the end where mother I.

00:38:53:15 – 00:39:18:22
Yeah, yeah. Complaints there. So 18 year old kid on 5 pound for an hour dealing with emotional pregnant women whose cart hadn't turned up and had given birth in two days. Shit, man, I can imagine not. I've worked on, like, customer service complaint stuff, and it's just, hell, I need it. It's hell fucking awful. And, was was was Mothercare any any good.

00:39:18:22 – 00:39:40:23
Was it bit better than Woolworths there. Exactly the same. It was good. It was good because there was a social aspect to Mothercare that didn't exist. Because I was getting older now. All right. I'm 18, 18. Right. 18, 19. And I'm studying. I'm about to go to university. And so I must have been 17, 18 and, so I'm doing this, but I'm moving on and it thumps on to become an adult, basically.

00:39:40:23 – 00:39:58:04
So there's a big drinking culture for the people that worked on a of a certain age. So go for it. There's a, there was a couple of pubs in Marble Arch and we just go and get pissed and spend all our money in there and yeah, it was good. It was good. There was, there was this I can't remember her name now.

00:39:58:08 – 00:40:21:02
Right. And we had there was absolutely zero relationship. There's nothing no sexual energy between us at all until we've had a couple of pints that just get off of each other. Those and getting off of each other in like pub in pubs weekly. Not not clubbing. I just, I get like mad get offs and ginger hair and I can't remember her name.

00:40:21:02 – 00:40:42:16
She left to join the Army, I can't remember, I don't remember anything about after the fight. We just get off of each other all the time. I mean, there was there was no like, flow in nothing. No, no. What about what was your relationship like in were just completely professional and then just outside work because because she was a designated sales assistant, I wasn't I was just a lowly sales assistant in that one.

00:40:42:18 – 00:40:59:02
Yeah. It was you should have a drink and then I. Yeah. And off which I, we should at least there was a pub that would dance. I was like, they have live music and that's where you'd be dancing. And she brought grind. And just like getting off of each other in front of everybody, she had really thick, thick glasses.

00:40:59:03 – 00:41:19:03
Thing I was, I can't remember bloody name. Yeah. That is amazing. Getting up in front of all your work colleagues. Yeah. And she would like, she would call me up sometimes. So she called me up at home and I wouldn't really get it. Like I was stupid. I was like, she obviously quite right now. She was she wanted to get into a relationship or do something right.

00:41:19:05 – 00:41:41:13
But back then I was just like, really not going to happen. So but give me a couple of drinks. I'll definitely get off of you down the pub again. Yeah. Amazing. Like one of my first jobs when it was like when I left school, I had a couple of other jobs, but this is like my first temping job.

00:41:41:13 – 00:42:06:10
And then it was an actual job. And, I'd been there for like four years, and I was working in a warehouse. Now in that environment, it was exactly like people like me, the 18 years old or whatever, and we were just fucking about all the time. We'd get our work done, but we'd be fucking about. So we'd had this thing called the Warehouse Olympics where we would like be jumping over pallets.

00:42:06:10 – 00:42:29:23
We would be doing stuff with the forklift truck, dude, all these other things. And I always remember that one of my the funniest things that that it was funny and then it went too far. We used to get deliveries of fresh milk and, I got one of these milk cartons, put it in the cloakroom, but put it behind, where everyone's like the metal cabinet to where you stick your coats in.

00:42:29:23 – 00:42:52:00
Yeah, I opened it and put it there and just left it safe. As the weeks went on, obviously, what turned into stale milk. Then it went moldy. A smell emanating from the cloakroom no one could get why it was so bad. And it it just absolutely fucking turned on purpose. I did it on purpose because it was funny.

00:42:52:02 – 00:43:10:04
And everyone got in there complaining about this eggy, fucking sour smell, and I was just creasing. And then one day I was going to my manager's office and I could hear her on the phone, and she was talking to, like, a professional plumber's outfit to come in and do all the drains in this warehouse because the smell was so bad.

00:43:10:04 – 00:43:30:11
And I said, this joke's gone too far. So I said to my mate Jimmy, as I, Jim, I told him what happened, and I need you to help me to get this milk carton, and we've got to put it in a black bag and we've got, got to get it out because I'm going to get found out, but where I put the milk carton down the back of these cabinets, I was too short and I couldn't retrieve it.

00:43:30:11 – 00:43:49:14
So I had to get Jimmy because he was lonely. Yeah. Wonder why you roped him in. So, so Jimmy did it, and I had the black bag ready, and as it came up, the smell caught him straight in the throat, and he was just dry retching everywhere. Threw it in a black bag. And then, we went out to the scape and got rid of it.

00:43:49:18 – 00:44:19:19
But you've got a track record of doing things like this, right? Well, but what about the crabs? The crabs in the buckets? Yeah. How you get it? Directly tell that story because you track record of this. Yeah. So when I was younger, I went on a family holiday to Dorset or something. And I saw loads of crab fishermen, and I really wanted to, to partake in it, and I didn't have, I didn't have, the tackle or anything like that.

00:44:19:21 – 00:44:37:11
And I really wanted to crab and I saw a dead crab, so I just picked it up and put it in my bucket. I'd take it back to the caravan where I was staying, but I put the bucket underneath from the center of the caravan, really crawled under there, and obviously I didn't want to get caught with it.

00:44:37:13 – 00:44:59:07
And what? Yeah, I didn't want to get caught with it. Yeah. And as the days had gone, gone by in this like two week holiday or whatever in this caravan, the smell was putrid and my mum, my aunt and my sister, no one knew where it was coming from and I knew it was my little girl and I knew it was my little rotten, my little rotten crab at the, the bottom of the caravan.

00:44:59:09 – 00:45:37:05
So, These are our most cherished. Kind of like, memories of jobs and maybe the great times. We're now in our 45. Yeah, and we're in this, especially myself, in these, these corporate environments about, presentations, strategy, planning, objectives, and all of this on social flipping trainers, buying stuff that fucking, you know, a Rolex and flipping it and all these different things.

00:45:37:07 – 00:46:00:20
Like I said, like David Goggins shouting at you because you're fat and you're not kind of like running down the road every five minutes. Yeah. Steve Farley, you can't go. These won't even allow you to wear earphones. Yeah, exactly. All these people are telling you what you should be doing, what you shouldn't be doing. You should be up at the crack of dawn while your family is asleep.

00:46:00:21 – 00:46:28:03
You should be working. You should be hustling. You should be doing. You should be being a better person. I just want to kind of get your take on, on this environment that we're now living in, the mentality because, I mean, to be fair, you have your own business. So you by nature, I don't know if you'd say you're a hustler with it, but you are a businessman.

00:46:28:05 – 00:46:54:16
But first off, that David Goggins, who's the other guy with a ginormous head, heart. Oh. Oh, Rob Robbins. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been on fuckin on Rogan and whatnot. It's marketing. It's all marketing. It's just it's not reality. They may be living that way, but they are 1 in 1,000,000,000 or 1 in 1,000,000 or so.

00:46:54:18 – 00:47:16:07
I don't pay much attention to it. I it works. So like if you're in the gym and you stick it on like motivational, I mean, it's not something I tell many people, but obviously. But then like thousands of people listen to this podcast, but it's not it's like it's anonymous or in a circular chest. I know, but I'm, I'm, you know, it's not anonymous music.

00:47:16:09 – 00:47:43:02
So it's the opposite of anonymous. The, but but, but those motivational speeches, when you're at, say, on a treadmill, they genuinely work because they get you, motivate you in the right environment. But it shouldn't dictate everything you do because that's fucking unachievable. But the question is, is it did I have a high side hustle? Yeah. Like, well I mean like yeah obviously you, you you run your business.

00:47:43:02 – 00:48:12:14
Yeah I did, I don't know, but I did. This is the fighting call was a side hustle I guess. Yeah. So I've worked for eight years before making the fight going into a business. So I did that on top of, you know. So I guess that is a side hustle. But I love doing it. So it didn't feel like work and it wasn't about making money out of it back then was it was about to getting together with the boys, having a drink, getting spurs, talking about football, having a laugh, whatever.

00:48:12:14 – 00:48:34:08
Kind of like, yeah, this cathartic experience of just chatting about football. Yeah, it was having a baby a mates. Yeah, it's just fun. It was just fun to do it wasn't. It wasn't a work. And everyone else seemed and made great connections with people and it enhanced following football and, you know, you met all the boys on the fight and coke and whatever, and so it didn't feel like work.

00:48:34:08 – 00:48:52:23
But then it was it was realizing that it was a business. And then it then you sort of I left my job and tried to make it work, and that's what happened. But it was a side hustle, but it didn't feel like it. It wasn't dropshipping. It wasn't it wasn't flipping trainers. That is, no one really wants to be doing that.

00:48:53:00 – 00:49:12:03
And I don't think I don't even know what what what I don't want to know what it is. Dropshipping is finally getting people stuff that they don't. I mean, I don't care, I don't care. Yeah. It's, so a lot of that stuff and like you were saying previously, like, these people are like 1 in 1,000,000 and stuff like that.

00:49:12:05 – 00:49:39:18
The guy now speaking motivational and telling you to quit your job, to telling you to do this, do that to have a better life for you. I mean, it's okay to tell people that once you've got a couple of mil in the bank, do you know what I mean? It's, I think it can be obviously, if you, if you are like minded to do that, and you, you live and breathe business and you're motivated by it, by all means do it.

00:49:39:18 – 00:50:00:15
But I kind of feel like there's this thing in society where people feel like they should be doing it and investing their time. The problem is, is that when they're not really into it, like as humans, we're not really hardwired into that lifestyle. No, it requires work and patience and effort. Exactly. And not everybody can do it there.

00:50:00:18 – 00:50:22:23
And their their environment, their family life, the requirements on their time mean that not everyone can do it. And the problem is, is it's the an example is it's a self self-fulfilling example of what you need to do to be successful. And there are a million variables and and influences on and things you can do to be successful.

00:50:22:23 – 00:50:50:08
And it isn't just that, but what they make you feel like. If you're not doing that, you're not going to be successful, which is bullshit. Yeah, completely. I think what one thing just, I'll just finish up on this one thing. I have it hammered home for me yesterday. No, I'm not into the the hustle culture, but by proxy, it's when you're working from home or whatever, and you've got your laptop and your phone and stuff like that, and you're always, you know, online.

00:50:50:10 – 00:51:07:19
My missus showed me a picture and it was a really nice picture, and it was a nostalgic picture of me sitting on the sofa, my daughter, when she was like 3 or 4 in her pajamas. She was just perched on my shoulder as I'm on the sofa, smiling for the camera. But I wasn't looking at the camera.

00:51:07:19 – 00:51:34:04
My laptop was open and I was working, and I was just completely aware, and it just made me so sad that I wasn't present, that I'm kind of always online on social on this, on that. Whereas my life that I'm living is here in this house and with my mates and stuff like that. Whereas I'm told I should be chasing something else that maybe I don't actually want, or let's market to believe that is what I want.

00:51:34:06 – 00:52:00:15
Yeah. Your, your which is mental. I think the closest to happiness that anyone can get is realizing contentment. And if you realized that and we talked about this, didn't you, in that last episode when you thought about how much you love it when your wife comes home from work and you're just filled with excitement, still feel that way 24 years after being first?

00:52:00:18 – 00:52:30:08
Yeah, that is something that no rise and grind fucking culture can give you. And and I would, I would hasten to suggest that, I hasten to add rather that a lot of these people probably aren't receiving that kind of love and affection and that are actually compensating for the lack of, of whatever they need to be a well-rounded human being by becoming a maniac who runs ultramarathons every week.

00:52:30:08 – 00:52:53:01
That isn't normal behavior that some of these damage does that. Yeah, they've used that damage to put it into something positive and create a business, but it isn't normal behavior. So, Rick, if you'll feel contentment, then hold on to that, because that's what I try to do. And always and often you feel contentment is by acknowledging what's good in your life and often repeating it to yourself.

00:52:53:01 – 00:53:13:07
Be grateful for those things. Sounds a bit like you know, like like one of those motivational speakers. But I often think if I'm feeling low about all the things I should be grateful for in my life, then it might. It helps. Yeah, it does massively. And I'll do exactly the same. Yeah, I, I fancy some light relief.

00:53:13:09 – 00:53:30:13
Oh, yeah, I fancy some, some of the sexy dilemmas that people have sent in. If we, if we got any, if we got, if we got any. Do you remember we asked for things only you know. Got any of those? Well, yeah. You know what? Should we just jump straight into that? Yes. Okay, so this is you.

00:53:30:13 – 00:54:00:18
Last week we asked a question, didn't we? Yeah, I forget, what's the one thing. What's the one thing? You know, you've done that no one else knows you've done. Tell us what that is. And we're going to call this segment Things only I know. You know. You know things I think you know, things. Things only you know. You do know them because, you know, the, things that, you know, Alex is going to be working on the jingle as well for that.

00:54:00:20 – 00:54:27:04
We have had quite a lot of, emails in and which is, which is fantastic. We're going to look at two of them now so that what we can do a couple every week. Yeah, we'll do a couple every week, the Danny and then even go, wow. Did you go, wow. Well this this next one. I was a bit like, gee, let's get into it on.

00:54:27:06 – 00:54:54:16
Could Bobby go? Hi. When I was about 17, 30 years ago, an old mate of mine said how a bird stuck two fingers up his ass whilst they were doing what they were doing. And it was great. Me, being an inquisitive person, wondered how good it was. Now I wasn't going to stick my fingers up my ass, but whilst I was in the buff, my sister's Barbie doll was on the side of the bath.

00:54:54:18 – 00:55:14:08
I looked at her feeling quite guilty, and grabbed her and shoved one of her legs up my ass. It very quick. I didn't do anything for me. I probably should have given it more time up there, but it just didn't feel right. That was the only thing that's ever gone up my bum.

00:55:14:10 – 00:55:16:23
Now I know.

00:55:17:00 – 00:55:35:19
I like the fact that no one knows that. No one knows that. Well, why would you tell anyone that would never come up? I like have you at like with a Barbie doll. The legs, they're quite pointed. You're quite narrow. Quite sharp. Yeah. Then we'll worry about how quickly, how much of that went up is because it's quite.

00:55:35:21 – 00:55:54:13
Yeah, yeah it's. Yeah, yeah. And, I don't think you would have got much pleasure from it now, but the ease is great that that exists in his psyche. And he carries it around. And every now and then it might pop into his head. You've got to try these things. Yeah. I don't you never know. Like, what part of him when he was 17.

00:55:54:13 – 00:56:20:07
So you could tell the difference between a Barbie dolls leg and two fingers, by the way, two fingers seems excessive, doesn't it? Ramming two fingers up your Khyber during sex. I feel like it's posh. I don't think fucking Bob. And this is the. There's this idea, I think that men can just take stuff. Gazes. Cases were built different, right?

00:56:20:09 – 00:56:39:17
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, let's just ram too up there like that wouldn't be at imagine. Excruciating. I haven't stuck two fingers up my own ass. No, I've. I've not. And in the, in the the topic of the how things are is about two cameras up there. So, you know, I can I can take a bit. Did you everything like, did you have the cameras up there this week.

00:56:39:19 – 00:57:01:24
No no no no no I'm just down the throat. So that that was a that was a lovely, good thing that only, you know, the next one is called, roommate romantic. When I was in my early 20s, I lived in a two bed flat, and my roommate was female. She was really fit, and I always really fancy that.

00:57:02:01 – 00:57:27:05
Unfortunately, she had a boyfriend, but her mate was a great guy. I used to get on really well with him. When he came over. We'd hang out and we'd drink beers together. But then after we all turned in for the night, they would shag. It was so loud. It's got in brackets. All of us screaming. I didn't think it'd be a mate, but it it would make me all horned up.

00:57:27:11 – 00:57:39:01
I would wank the entire time they shagged, thinking about me shagging. It was a little secret, but I would look forward to when he came over for the weekends. Well.

00:57:39:03 – 00:57:59:20
The end fucking finish. Hey, it's, My ages are brilliant, right? There we go. That's fantastic. Me and my mate. You're going to drink some beers, and then I'm going to listen, sugar chocolate. The. I really want to give her a good shag, and then I. Yeah. And then I'm going to crack one off. Yeah, I mean nuts.

00:57:59:22 – 00:58:24:16
Would you, if that was you. I mean, so pathetic once you come because you're not actually doing the shagging. I know you're not. I think as well, trying to recall that I've had a similar experience. I've heard people having sex, but it wasn't that kind of, It wasn't like a porn where everyone's moaning. Ester, if you had having sex now.

00:58:24:16 – 00:58:59:22
Honestly. Yeah. I've had you on the job before and forgotten, wasn't it? Yeah. No, I think I have told you before you dismissed it. It's that time when, I was living with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I know you guys. Well. Are you listening for me? I was just laying there in the darkness on a safe bed, and I could hear the, you know, the the metronomic tone of a big Spriggan.

00:58:59:22 – 00:59:21:04
Yeah, yeah. It was, What? You did not went out, though, did you? No, I didn't, I didn't, and I there was part of me. It's like, am I getting honed up by this? But then the second part of me was, oh, man, I'm so high and I've just passed out and gone to sleep. It's I would oh, this would have been, one six, eight days.

00:59:21:06 – 00:59:43:09
Yeah. It was. Yeah, it it reminded me of, you know, in a film and there's, there's a prisoner and he's been sentenced to a thousand years, and he's just in his cell, and all he's got is a tennis ball, and he's thrown it against the wall. The damage, the damage did him. It was. It was like you just.

00:59:43:11 – 01:00:07:04
Yeah, it was, it was one of those ones. Fair enough. I think we'll leave it on that one. Yeah. Was that the. Yeah. I mean, well, we I've got more dilemmas, but we're running, mate. We're, we're on our. Let's do. What would you say you do. One. Okay. One more, one dilemma. Okay. I am going to go for,

01:00:07:06 – 01:00:29:08
This is quite deep. This one say, is it. Yeah, it's called fake it until you make it or not. Oh, I like I like this. I know what this is about I think. Yeah, I debated sending this in as I have not told this story to anyone for obvious reasons. Yeah. This is in response to the episode on lockdown.

01:00:29:10 – 01:00:51:13
Like keep. I love lockdown for many reasons, but one thing that has bothered me since my wife became obsessed with wanting another child early on in lockdown. We already have two amazing kids, 11 and 14 year old boys. I, on the other hand, was not keen on the idea of having to change diapers and pay for daycare diapers.

01:00:51:15 – 01:01:11:13
We don't need to figure it out. Yeah, we don't need to figure out it's anonymous. Right? All right. And I just want to know the location. Okay? But mostly, I felt like having a child our age, early 40s, was too risky. I freaked out about the possibility of medical complications and all that. She was not faced in the least about not let it go.

01:01:11:17 – 01:01:33:11
It got to the point that saying no was making them more and more upset. I did something I never imagined that day in my life. I faked an orgasm. Not just one, but many, to the point where she started thinking I was shooting blank and even made me go to the doctor to get tested. Both of us were working fine.

01:01:33:13 – 01:01:57:03
I said, that's it. And then it got to the point where his boys were just fine. It's women. When she started getting a bit down about it not working, I said, should we get a horse? Like she's always you want it or another dog? In the end, she got both, I guess. What the daily needs of a horse are far greater than that of a child.

01:01:57:05 – 01:02:22:21
We are not wealthy and now we are guaranteed to never be. I suppose it's a healthy dose of karma. So he I mean, like he obviously didn't want to have children. And it's understandable that you're in your 40s. You've had you've got two children already like my kids are. Well, my kids are ten and 12, and I really would not want to have another child now.

01:02:22:23 – 01:02:42:09
Yeah. Because we're at that stage where they're old and we're getting through the other side of the, you know, the early, early part. But you'd have to, I mean, to have that healthy discussion with your missus. But then if your Mrs.. Want something so bad, are you down. You're in a you're in a fucking you're in a bind.

01:02:42:09 – 01:03:14:16
It can break a relationship. It can, it's, I would if one partner really, really didn't want to. And you, you made it clear a you already had two kids. I think it's on the person who doesn't wants the kid to to, you know, back down in that instance. Why so so so so the wife should have backed out.

01:03:14:16 – 01:03:36:18
I think in this case, the wife should back down. Yeah. Because you've got two kids. He doesn't clearly doesn't want to. It's understandable. 40 years old. They're nearly grown. You can now swap to second lease. And second go at freedom because you give up as a parent. You give up so much time. Yeah. You give up so much in terms of, you know, what you're able to do and the freedoms of what you used to do.

01:03:36:24 – 01:04:04:14
And that's fine, because you made that decision when you have kids and you've brought them into the world. So you must, you must, you must do that. But you get you get it back when they're old enough to look after themselves. And we're in a situation now. My wife and the kids, they're not actually my kids. I'm the step that I've known in since they were four and six, and they, they just they generally just sort keep themselves to themselves.

01:04:04:14 – 01:04:27:11
They are 16 or 14, respectively. They can do the right. I mean, obviously they're fed and kept warm and taken wherever they need to go and loved and all that stuff. But minor, not nods at times. Pretty much our own other than, you know, making sure they get to school and that sort of stuff. You'd have to you given all of that up into your 60s.

01:04:27:13 – 01:04:48:00
Yeah. And that's a lot of time. You know, the other thing is, like the kids, you're going to be really old when that kid is is. Yeah. You know, when you, when she's 20 that you wanna be 60 years old, that's a problem. But no, I mean, yeah, I, when I, when I was having kids I did it.

01:04:48:04 – 01:05:10:14
It wasn't really that for I want it to be I don't want to be an old dad but How old were you when you had the baby? 29, 29 or 30 something. Not right. That's about right. Yeah. And my my kind of in my, I said 29 to 35 or something like that. That's like when I kind of wanted to have kids.

01:05:10:14 – 01:05:24:15
So I it just started straight away. But, to get on to the more, pressing matter. Have you ever faked an orgasm?

01:05:24:17 – 01:05:45:12
Probably. Not. Not in my more in my current relationship? No. I think there's a misconception that men want to have sex all the time, and I know you do. I know you're like, you know. Oh, hey. Yeah. I'm disgusting. Something's wrong with me, and I have. I.

01:05:45:14 – 01:06:05:01
But there's a misconception that men want it all the time as well, and, and it's not just not true. And sometimes, I guess there's been times I've just, like, in the past where I've just for lunch could do it because I'd rather see what I really. Not that I'm like, oh, my God, this is terrible. I've been manipulated into doing it.

01:06:05:01 – 01:06:22:20
It's not on that level. It's just I can't be bothered or I feel, I don't know, whatever is stressed out, but you do it because the other person wants to, more so that I'm sure that happens in relationships all the time. Men and women. I don't know what's wrong with me, but my leg could be caught in a bear trap.

01:06:22:23 – 01:06:44:01
I'm just hanging off and my missus would lean over to try and help me out, and she would graze past my penis and I'd be like, let's fucking go, you fuck want it? Let's go. Fucking money and she she wanted what was the matter with me? What is. And I'm not I don't know, it's like there's a separate brain.

01:06:44:01 – 01:07:05:05
There is a separate person. It's a separate mind. I've got no control over it. It does what it wants. So I could just be walking down the road and I'll just get a random boner, actually not walking down the road. But, you know, I mean, if you're just just random bonus popping up all over the shop, really? Yeah, I maybe I've got too much testosterone or something.

01:07:05:05 – 01:07:19:16
I don't know what it is. 100%. How did you get, how'd you get rid of it? Are you going to get rid of it? It's good. It's healthy. You want? Yeah. You want to keep it? You just deal with the erections. Does anyone know how to unhook yourself? Well, what? So if you like. Well, in this situation.

01:07:19:20 – 01:07:47:02
Right. So you've you've got you've got the whole new thing. I've got to sort this out. You got one out. How soon after knocking one out. You ready to go again. Like let me I dunno if you had sex. How soon after having sex could you have sex again. Right. Okay. So it would be the probably in my case it would be like give it, give me two minutes and we'll go again.

01:07:47:04 – 01:08:11:11
Yeah. Easily. Easily I think easily. I think back when you're a kid. That is possible. Yeah. But now as a 40 year old man, after I've done the deed, like, I'm exhausted and like, it's just there, I wouldn't be able to to go again. It would have to be the next. I'd have to you would you would you be able to get it up and go again if you had the energy.

01:08:11:13 – 01:08:35:12
What? As in just no, no. So next day, next day. I need to I need a 6 to 8 hours sleep to to regenerate. And then I would, I would go again. I reckon I could probably have sex every single day. I say that, but, I'd like I'd like to put it into practice, but, Yeah, there's a lot to.

01:08:35:15 – 01:09:02:10
Yeah. So, after 24 years, that is a lot to ask. It is a lot to ask. I tell you what, isn't a lot to ask if you if you were, if you're listening and you're on Spotify and even if you don't listen on Spotify, just fucking you Spotify, you type in to the search and go to Lads Anonymous and you find that podcast you'll see follow in, you'll see some other bits and pieces, you'll see a cog right.

01:09:02:10 – 01:09:29:05
If you click that cog, it'll bring up a menu to say automatic download. Switch that toggle to automatic download. So when the pod is released in the Monday morning, you automatically have a podcast on your phone. If you're on a flight, if you go underground on a train, if you're in a car and there's a bad reception, if you go on the dog walk and there's no reception, always have us in your ear.

01:09:29:07 – 01:09:58:19
So just go on Spotify. Go to lads. Anonymous. Hit that cog where lads anonymous and just switch it to automatic download. All you got to do. Cos you nothing means everything to us. And until Archie next week, next week's topic. What is next topic has been submitted by a lad. Is it laziness? What is the laziest thing that you've done?

01:09:58:23 – 01:10:27:18
The most genius thing you've created that highlights your slobbery so he has a he has a bouncy ball that he uses to ping the front room lights on and off. He's also said that the postman can see him sitting on the sofa. He rings the doorbell and he he just talk through the intercom and just leave it at the front door, even though the postman can see him and he's just sitting there watching telly.

01:10:27:20 – 01:10:51:03
We want to hear all those things that make you a lazy guy or girl. So that is going to be the topic for next week, right? AWS us just realized because while you was talking, I was interested to see on how many, how many, reviews or ratings we've got on, on Spotify. And then I've just seen loads of reviews for every episode.

01:10:51:04 – 01:11:21:12
I realize you could leave reviews on the episodes and people could read them, but I haven't touched on what presence in the story. And my worry is that it's my worry is that it's building up now to too much, and the story isn't that good. Well, I mean, let me let me. I'll I'll percolate for a week, eat some more croissants, and then, I can't I don't have more croissants after that.

01:11:21:12 – 01:11:49:15
My sort of went off press on this after that. Amazing. Right. Thank you for listening. Thank you for following and subscribing and following us on social. Honestly, the the amount of engagement that we get across all every platform, it means everything to us. And I'm just blown away and have a lovely day. Yeah. Wherever you are. Amazing.

01:11:49:15 – 01:11:58:00
Cheers. That's and I but. 411.