#6 | Laziness is good for you, and here’s why…

00:00:00:24 – 00:00:43:16
Are the Night. Hazy like Band of Brothers playing tones high is quite midnight. Waves surfing through till daylight breaks rhythm. Here's different ways. Love of music are. We prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band aside, we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers, hello and welcome to Las Anonymous. This is episode six, a podcast where two best mates of over 20 years sit and discuss a main topic first, and then we move across to your dilemmas, questions, need for advice and things only you know.

00:00:43:18 – 00:01:07:03
So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast. I'm here with said best friend Flav. How's it going, mate? Good, thanks. Yeah. Really good. I'm feeling especially uninspired this week. Like my energy is low. Not just for this podcast, just generally. Right. So, I was,

00:01:07:05 – 00:01:11:12
This terrible way to start a podcast.

00:01:11:14 – 00:01:32:14
I don't know. Just just don't know. Just don't want to do stuff which kind of feeds into the the theme of the podcast, which is about laziness. But yeah, laziness isn't like I'm going to talk about it, but laziness isn't like I want to lie in bed and do nothing. I do want to do that. But it's always, always for me is forcing myself to do stuff I don't want to do, and that's where it kicks in.

00:01:32:16 – 00:01:57:16
So, I've had to do a lot this week. I've traveled all over and now it's Saturday, we're recording and I'd like to be in the pub. Sorry about that. I don't know if you're out the. I'm not I'm really I'm not sorry about it. I do my podcast and shut up. All right. And keep your energies are being these yardstick I am be here for the people right.

00:01:57:17 – 00:02:16:22
Listen to me. I mean one of the moods. I feel like I want to sit in a pub, get on it. That's because that's kind of the sun shining in it. So you just kind of the sunshine in here. Anyway, I'd like I'd like to be in a pub, but I sometimes think about our days when we are younger and like it was a this Saturday, what would we be doing?

00:02:16:22 – 00:02:40:15
It's what time is it? It's cool past one. Right? We would have. Yeah, we was probably sauntered off. Maybe that's some food. Sauntered off to a pub somewhere, started drinking. Cool one up. Yeah. And ruin Sunday. Yeah, exactly. It would have been all days. Well, I thinking back to it now, who sits in a fucking pub or pubs and bars all day?

00:02:40:17 – 00:03:00:13
All day? Legendary. I couldn't fucking do that now. God, I know I well, you never could do that, right? You know, you never could do that. Nah, I was terrible. I tried I tried my best. That kind of feeds into the the Crescents in Brussels. So you just get that out of the way because the story isn't that good.

00:03:00:13 – 00:03:19:12
And. No, no, I think, we we we we keep it hanging. But we said, if you do this, we will sell the story they've done. Okay. No, no no, no, I'm not I'm following your lead if you want to keep them. Okay. This is the thing is, is when we eventually tell the story, they can be like, oh, it was I.

00:03:19:12 – 00:03:44:19
Yeah. But to keep him hanging, I keep you let me know. Okay. We'll go for it whenever, whenever it is you think is the right time. All right. Now, I was going to say I am your kids. Your last term. No, I had last week. They've been like, my mind's, on half time this week, ten lazy little pigs and, not normally half time.

00:03:44:19 – 00:04:07:02
I. I look forward to spend time with the kids, but my missus, a teaching assistant. So I spend time with her. Yeah. And we can just have have a nice week together. And I think, I think a Valentine's Day episode, which is episode four, if you want to go back to it and listen to it. I was just saying, professing about my, my, my love for my missus in the most happiest time is at 3:00 in the afternoon.

00:04:07:02 – 00:04:30:03
Did you hear this? That's good week. No. She hasn't. When he comes home and I get to spend time of that, and it's just just I love it, I love it. Yeah. So half terms happen. They finished on Friday. Normal weekend. Half term starts on the Monday. I'm in my office working and like 10:00 knock on the door from the Mrs..

00:04:30:05 – 00:04:48:19
You know, the, the towel rail in the bathroom that's hanging off. How do we get it back on? How do we get it back on you? Right. Plastic bag. Right, I get it. Okay, fine. I'll tell her now. I'll knock on the door not ten minutes later. I want to put some shelves up in the girls room.

00:04:48:22 – 00:05:14:11
Oh, do we have that? That tool which which tells you where pipes are and electric alecky cables. And stuff like that. Right. It's. Do we know race? Do you know where it is? You know that, you know, the, that staying in in the kitchen. What did you fuck off, right. Oh, wouldn't you to go back to school now, I don't want to have that 3:00 and wait for you to come in.

00:05:14:16 – 00:05:32:22
Why are you ruining my day? Why are you ruining my week? Stop having a go at me. There's no great sit and be nice to each other. Well, she's not being horrible to you. She said there's my I don't I, I don't want to do. And this, this also plays into laziness. Yeah it does do I want to spend my time doing DIY nowadays?

00:05:32:22 – 00:05:52:23
No one does. No one does something I don't except my dad. What? I love the way you're going up, right? We never had a we. The house was never done and it was beautiful. The house is lovely. You've been there. It's nice. Yeah, really nice house. But he couldn't just be content with the way the house looked. So there has always had to be one room under renovation.

00:05:53:00 – 00:06:16:14
And now it's the same. He's bought. He's come down and live with me in Devizes and that house, to be fair, he's done an incredible job. It looks amazing. Kitchen's incredible. Like he's done a great job, right? It's improved it massively, but it's never fucking finished. He loves DIY and he's Mrs. actually does give him. She does. Like she has a list of things that need doing and that's your prerogative.

00:06:16:17 – 00:06:36:21
And when you when she says we and she means you. But whatever you do is is why isn't it because I don't know about that. There's no greater dagger to your heart than here. And can you put shelves up? Yeah. Oh, well, you don't want to do it, you know, no man wants to do that, right? But they definitely don't want to do it under duress.

00:06:36:21 – 00:06:59:12
That's makes it ten times worse. No. And, mate, I haven't got a fucking handy bone in my body. I, I'm not quite good. I don't mind doing. Rick, the dishwasher is broken. How do we fix it? Taking it apart, trying to find why it's broken. Fixing it. Turn it back on. Is done. Rain done that? Loads of times.

00:06:59:18 – 00:07:19:05
Same with my washing machine. But drilling into walls and putting up shelves and make it. Rick, do you think it's straight like that? I I've just fucking put it up cause he's straight. I'm used to spirit level y, you know, I don't, I'd rather throw myself out our window than willingly do some DIY. I actually took the coat.

00:07:19:08 – 00:07:45:22
What do you call it? The stuff that goes round the doorframe. Coping. Is it, you know, the little cutting room that sort of goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Frame girlfriend. And I pulled it off once and for take. I'm into the night. I pulled it off slightly, sounding it down. Now there's like exposed to the doorway as the, as it was built is exposed and it's just it doesn't, it's not finished by is all holes and shit coming out of it.

00:07:45:22 – 00:08:07:13
And I had to prepare it. So I buy some new coping and then put it on. It's not done. And I started that job six years ago. I I'm not joking. They it's always the way. It's always like you think it's a good idea. You start doing it, then you get halfway through and you think this is going to take a lot longer than I thought, and I don't want to do it anymore.

00:08:07:15 – 00:08:15:12
Do not want to do it anymore. Today we we're talking about you calling. Ask me last week. Endoscopy. Yeah.

00:08:15:14 – 00:08:37:20
It went down your throat, not your ass. Up down the throat. Yeah. I think you've got to choose down your throat or up your ass. What? You what? You choose it up, up the bum. About two cameras up there. Easy. Yeah. Take that all day long. Yeah. One down the throat. It was, it kept me up leading up to it because just a fear of a camera going.

00:08:37:21 – 00:08:56:12
Yeah, yeah, it's it was, it was a no. What? You, have a baby right now? A fuck off, mate. Would you have one that I could pay that? No. No chance. I don't have to have one so I can say what I want. I was going to say we had an interest in email, and I.

00:08:56:13 – 00:09:25:21
Did we? Yeah. I don't know who it is. It's. It was by, someone or something called hot status scum. No idea who it is, what it is. They are research on podcasts in Cyprus. This podcast was positioned number three in comedy. Number three podcast in comedy, in Cyprus, over there in Cyprus, where we're having it, in Cyprus we are number five.

00:09:25:23 – 00:09:52:08
Yeah. In Estonia, what is going on. Number five. And I then think gets a little bit number 13 in Hungary. Yeah that makes sense. Yeah. 14 in Vietnam. That makes no sense. I just trying to think like how many are the ones that spoil the illusion here. But how many people do you need listening in Cyprus in order to start third?

00:09:52:10 – 00:10:13:08
Like it sounds impressive, but I reckon 30 people will get you up there. Yeah, I if I know a couple with some Cyprus, I think they don't want to be listening. We, I'd like to start a campaign to be number one in Cyprus. I would love to get us number one. We could. We we could have your Ricky, you know, Ricky's blastoff Pi.

00:10:13:10 – 00:10:36:00
Yeah. You have three more blast offs. At the end of this year, we can have a party to celebrate whether we have a blast. A party in Cyprus, pool party. Everyone's asleep and lounges just listening. Their fan might. You know what went for what? You know, even for my head, it says a Cyprus is like, has a long flight and it's like five, five hours, 5.5 hours.

00:10:36:02 – 00:10:52:20
Yeah. I don't want to go on a plane for 5.5 hours. I don't give a plane period. We do. We bring what we need to do. An episode on our fear of flying. We we, if we will, a day. We we absolutely. So many, so many good stories of that. My, I just I won't get into it now, but.

00:10:52:20 – 00:11:14:07
Yeah, I am absolutely petrified. Same lines as. Yeah. And and it's not a good, match when two people that are both equally scared of flying, sitting next to each other on an airplane many times as well. And it is just a fucking nightmare. You're worse. Anyway, let's let's let's leave it. That's okay. We'll do when we land.

00:11:14:09 – 00:11:29:22
When we. When we fly out. Right. You'll send me a picture of the plane and I. Oh, my God, if you know what hell you're going to pray. And then when you land, I'm like, you send me another picture and I get scenery. You've done it is that he's. He's underfoot. He's on the floor. Yes. He's not. He's done it.

00:11:30:00 – 00:11:47:09
He's done it. Well, I'm just watching Masters of the air at the moment, which is the, you know, the people at that band, the brothers. This is obviously a series that, that very close to mine. And Ricky's, you know, in the foundations of our relationship, we were watching Band of Brothers. I think you you told. You might have even told me to.

00:11:47:09 – 00:12:07:03
I can't remember anyway, but the Dune series is about them being up in the air. The RAF and the actual the American Air Force. The shit they went from never to worry about flying ever again. I got to do the the your fucking planes shot to bits and they go and we've lost the engines, so. All right, we'll get back on one.

00:12:07:03 – 00:12:34:12
Fuck that. No way. I don't want to get back on one. I wanted to shoot myself in the fucking head. They. I've got balls the size of fucking bowling balls. Only that my ace. Like, I sit there in disbelief watching it. It's just right rideable. I'm on the plane, Ricky. I get I get annoyed, I get freaked out if I have to stand up and go for a piss because I don't like looking out of the way.

00:12:34:12 – 00:12:58:04
I landed with the television. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Okay, well, we'll go back to a couple of the, emails and messages we've been sent from the previous episode. Right. So I want to read this one out. So we did the, rise and grind culture last week, and that was mainly about the kind of motivational speeches of people that you need to do.

00:12:58:08 – 00:13:25:14
You need to do more. You need to be make money all the time. And it's kind of like whether it's dropshipping, right, where it's flipping trainers or houses that you bought on that were cheap and he's just too much man in this modern day to be doing all those things. We're just not hardwired to do that. And I'm just getting a bit get a bit annoyed with it and the careers, how you need to kind of climb the career ladder.

00:13:25:14 – 00:13:50:23
Now this one is called New Career Direction. Off the cuff. Let me just say someone said to send an email, a message someone sent in an email, which I thought was really good, really nice actually. Starts with original fighting cock listener. They've, attended one of our events. Cock fest. Go fuck it. Oh, that's why you back.

00:13:51:00 – 00:14:18:24
And he let Ricky have his BT log in for five years, so yeah, I do know a day. No. So five years. But you're BT sports login. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Well that's lovely that. Yeah of course fucking used a what is your, what is your take on like mates taking the piss in terms of logins. Well you, you shouldn't take the piss and taking the piss.

00:14:19:01 – 00:14:40:00
But I mean if he's not using it and and isn't it. Yeah. But if it doesn't fuck with the, with the system then you're all good. You're all good. But if they start changing settings and doing stuff like that, then that's it. That's a bad one. If you if you're if you're fucking with the algo like a Netflix or Spotify dude, either someone I have my Spotify account is just it's just sacrilege.

00:14:40:03 – 00:15:01:09
I wouldn't share my Spotify Fire kind of body by mine. For the past six months has been connected to our kitchen, kitchen. Alexa. So the kids. So you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's going to be Drake Drake's number one now. I couldn't have that. Yeah, I have changed it recently because it was weighing heavily on my mind.

00:15:01:13 – 00:15:19:14
You, you got to share wrapped with Drake because number one. Yeah. Like, I don't understand it. I don't know about Taylor Swift and Drake had announced. And the popularity. I'll never understand it. Taylor Swift is the most insipid, boring bullshit music that is out there, and she is the biggest star in the world. I will never understand it.

00:15:19:14 – 00:15:38:19
Ricky. Amazing. Fair play to her. By her. Okay. Fuck. Taylor Swift, I got it. Okay. Right. We'll get back. Hey. It's me. The punishment is. That's a change, is it? Yeah, it's, you know, as far as we go in terms of this. So you get back the email, but let's see what is a tune like?

00:15:38:19 – 00:16:03:10
My guilty pleasure. Katy Perry. Yeah. She she has some bangles, I can't remember. It was another one in the basket that's on this. It's this number one in the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The final album. More while we're at it. Desperado by Rihanna is legitimately in the top ten songs for me of all time. And how does that go?

00:16:03:12 – 00:16:25:12
Oh that's right. Oh I can't because it's Rihanna. But it's it's silly. Then, Monte Carlo is such a tune. The production by is genuinely incredible. I don't know that one. So I'm going to, listen to afterwards anyway. Yeah, I'll listen to it. Sorry. Email that. That's all right. That's fine. You mentioned a couple of episodes ago about the Sunday blues jobs you hate.

00:16:25:14 – 00:16:52:09
I was one of those people which had about nine years ago, hate my job, felt trapped, just couldn't find inspiration for anything I was doing. Needless to say, being miserable 8 to 9 hours a day, Monday to Friday. It affected my personal and home life as well. Then one lunchtime I felt my brain and emotions just crash. I needed to get out of the office, so I started walking around the business park where I was working and there was a bloke just mowing the lawn.

00:16:52:11 – 00:17:13:21
This sounds crazy, but it's true. If it wasn't for other people confirming this that the guy existed, I would honestly believe that he was some kind of guardian angel or an illusion. Of my mind. He looked about seven. He was about six. Four in high, long gray ponytail, and he was mowing the grass on the business park.

00:17:13:21 – 00:17:35:23
But it wasn't dressed like a professional gardener. He was dressed like he was mowing the grass at home. Old man. White trainers, jeans, grubby t shirt. I went up to him. I must have looked mental. I clearly been crying, dressed in a shirt and trousers and tie, trapped in, tapped him on the shoulder and said, do you need any help?

00:17:36:00 – 00:18:02:10
My whole life took a directional turn from that moment onwards. Now this guy quit his job and he's now kind of like the park manager himself. So he's gone from the office to doing, landscape gardening. And he's changed his life on a dime. I just think from what we were talking about last week, that people can. You can change.

00:18:02:12 – 00:18:23:20
It's not easy, but for a kind of, to change your life into and to do something that you want to do, there are there are ways to do it. And I just thought it was quite a bit inspiring just to fucking take that first step to do that. Massive admiration for that, for sure. I once interviewed, hey, Bobby, probably listen to this.

00:18:24:00 – 00:18:45:22
A friend of a friend was Austin Bear. Bethnal Green bear. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And he he he did the same thing. He was working in the city. He was earning a fortune in the city. And he up sticks and and moved to Iceland. And just what I might be bitchiness. So it was literally 3 or 4 years ago that we spoke, but I think he went and worked on a farm or something like that in Iceland, just said, I can't do this anymore.

00:18:45:24 – 00:19:05:04
I cannot do this. I need to change my life. Now the problem is you get into situations where you're, you kind of trapped in our modern society because the minute you have a mortgage, the minute you have rent, you have responsibilities. To change your career path in such a way. Isn't isn't the easiest thing in the world to do that?

00:19:05:04 – 00:19:25:03
There's logistical issues with that because you have to be able to to, to meet the requirements. Right? First and foremost, the health and security of your family home is, it seems, is for for a lot of people is at the forefront. And so it should be, especially if you have kids and stuff. But yeah, it's both good.

00:19:25:03 – 00:19:43:01
It's impressive. Good. Yeah, I love it. I just thought I'd share that little nugget because, there might be people who listen to this, and they are feeling exactly the same way. They don't really know what direction of travel to go in. They don't know how to do it, but just know that there are people out there like you that that have done it.

00:19:43:01 – 00:20:08:08
And, yeah, it is amazing. You look at you really. I mean, you're, you're you're making an attempt now to move away from that 9 to 5 to be entrepreneurial, to, to ensure that, you know, the way you talked about what we didn't talk about last week. But you'll be so funny, like when you go on holiday and you and you'd get to the end of your holiday and you're like, I want to, I hope the plane goes down.

00:20:08:09 – 00:20:24:05
I'd rather the plane is that. And then I have to go back to the office. And we've all felt that right. When you go back into the office and you're thinking that dread I used to have exposure with work, back exposure way back in the day. It wasn't the job, right? It wasn't the people, wasn't nothing like that.

00:20:24:07 – 00:20:54:00
It was the predictability of yeah, of my life and having to make that same journey, walk up that site. You can see the stairwell now, I can see it and, and my route to the office. And that familiarity was what killed me inside, basically. So that's my. Yeah. And it's the, it's the I don't mind doing stuff that I don't mind that that that shit work.

00:20:54:00 – 00:21:16:21
Really. I don't mind doing that. Everyone has to eat a shit sandwich at work. That's a non-negotiable. Really? Yeah. In the corporate world. But then being forced to to do things that really is it plays on you, on your mental health and things. I was like, I would regularly have to do presentations and I just it's just not me.

00:21:16:23 – 00:21:48:06
But and having to speak in that business talk circle back those it's just it's just it's not me and it kills me. Absolutely kills me. Got we had another message in there was, another person. Yeah, who got caught stealing donuts and eaten them on CCTV, just like you have. Just like. Yeah. This last event listener, last week's episode, I described a story of when I worked at Woolworths, my first of a job, and how I was sacked.

00:21:48:08 – 00:22:06:08
That's how I left. I won't go into it because you might want to listen to it if you haven't already, but tell us about go back to Taiwan, go back and listen to because it's a fantastic story. So this so this guy was working and mess and at the end of the day donuts. And I mean that's a right as well that they have to do.

00:22:06:12 – 00:22:26:00
They've got thrown out. This is bullshit. Someone explain this to me I don't know why, but they have to chop so much food away from my mum. My wife works at Center Parks, right. She works for Center Park. Yeah. And they sent an email around to a company wide email. You can't eat the food anymore. It's perfectly good food.

00:22:26:02 – 00:22:47:17
It's going in the bin. You can. Why can't you eat it fucking. There must be some sort of fucking bullshit. Health and health and safety reason why you can't eat it. But the fact that it doesn't go to homeless people or people that are hungry, or food banks, it just chucked away is sacrilege. They who gives? If one person in 100,000 gets salmonella?

00:22:47:19 – 00:23:11:00
So what if you're feeding worth it? Workforce is worth it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, you get over it. You'd be a bit sick of a dicky tummy for a bit. Yeah, sorry. Donut man. Yeah. So he was caught. He would throw the donors out each each evening. And one day he he was famished. And he needed he needed some, he needed sugar or something.

00:23:11:00 – 00:23:35:02
So he ate donuts. According to the office, the next morning, there were three managers there, and they showed him the CCTV, and it showed him dancing down the aisle while eating, while having a donut in each hand, buy in on each one. And he thought it was a joke because he'd been caught red handed and they were thrown out anyway.

00:23:35:04 – 00:23:59:06
But they were all really angry and he got fired from it. But the whole situation was made worse because he was cracking up, looking at the CCTV of himself dancing down and aisle with two donuts in his hand. Incredible. That's absolutely amazing. I get a fucking life as well. Like if your manager and say, look, we know it's ridiculous, this is funny, but we can't do anything here.

00:23:59:07 – 00:24:20:03
We have to fire you. It's it's it's theft. Why in that instance, you go, yeah. All right. Fine. The fact that they took their job so bloody seriously that they act to that, dig him out and just go. Didn't see the funny side of it. Like, just want to. You'd rather get of that. Like that. This is just remind me of the fucking.

00:24:20:03 – 00:24:44:00
Now this is, a flashback to my childhood. So when I was younger, we used to play football along these kind of, where our state was the opposite. A state was loads of, warehouses and manufacturing and stuff like that. And there was a football pitch in the middle of them, and I think it must have just been for the employees where they would just go and play football at lunchtime.

00:24:44:02 – 00:25:06:07
But no one ever used it. So me and my mates would go and use this free football pitch that was hidden away and it was great. But on the way back when we were cycling from our bikes, there must have been a kind of like a cake production company or something like that, and we were just looking in the skips one day and full and I mean full to the brim in this.

00:25:06:10 – 00:25:28:11
It was, it was Rice Krispie cakes, right, right. The chocolate rice Krispie cakes and they're all in packaging. I dunno why they were thrown out. I think, you know, when chocolate melts and then it resets and it has that white gray, I think that might have been it. So there was like 5 or 6 lads in a dark skip sitting there just eating Rice Krispie cakes.

00:25:28:11 – 00:25:47:22
And they do that for the whole summer. Just go in there and eat it free. Free chocolate that's been thrown away always. Rice Krispie cakes. Yeah. Only Rice Krispie guys. Fuck, yeah. Do you would it? I was like this this squad that you go to go down right Rice Krispies skip. Yeah. Well it was, it was on the way back from when we play football.

00:25:48:00 – 00:26:13:08
So turn off the calories. Yeah. And then we were we were starving. We ain't where you wouldn't even have to ask if anyone was doing it. You would just head to the like normal. Yeah. It was just normal. And the amount weird eight would be like your 6:00 meal. Full meal. You would be so stuffed with eating, you'd have like a whole rice crispy cake to yourself and not the shape of the cake.

00:26:13:08 – 00:26:41:00
It was like in sizes. No wonder you had your guts. Rick. Yeah I shouldn't yeah, that's probably I shouldn't have done that. But it was good at the time. What are you currently, experiencing? Maybe. Go. I've been, No. So I'm on two types of antibiotics because I have a, a bacterial infection in my stomach. An infection and the the antibiotics I'm taking, I don't actually, it happens to everyone, mate.

00:26:41:01 – 00:27:06:21
They just, like, through me, like everything is coming out. Yeah. And it's to the point where, you know, when your stomach grumbles, like I've literally got seconds before I get to the toilet. Before everything. I know, I know, I'm here today. I'm on my second today. I know better than suspected. Yeah, but yeah, but, you had to have you had let's say, let's say that was.

00:27:06:23 – 00:27:17:15
Say. And then when I take these tablets again, like, it's just and it's just, it's it's nasty man. I have nasty, normal. Is that normal people?

00:27:17:17 – 00:27:35:03
Mark? You know, it's exactly like that. And often it's like, I need to shower. I need to, like, I need to just cleanse the sound like, no fucking bad. No, like normal poo. You ill. Okay, okay.

00:27:35:05 – 00:28:15:21
Oh. But, Yeah. Really? I love peaches so much. This is bullshit. I need to go back in, rewatch it. I'm well, well, well out for that rake. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we should probably. Yeah, that'd be amazing. I got one more email to, to go back to. And this is a, a gentleman. You just listen to the Valentine's Day pot and all this wet dream talk stirred something deep in his memories that, as a repressed, teenager, I think the only I know as well that at 14, he decided that he was wanking way too much, needed to take a week off.

00:28:15:21 – 00:28:33:02
And on the third night, he had a sexy dream. Oh, and the sex. The sex dream was he was eating out his stepmother, which? Which led to him creaming his undies. What is happening is a little while to hang on.

00:28:33:04 – 00:28:39:23
Why? Something ugly, you know.

00:28:40:00 – 00:29:00:09
There is a jingle. That's that. Nice, nice. Yeah. Lovely. Lovely stuff. So when when, this, gentleman created his undies and he was walking to the bathroom to sort himself out, I bumped into his mother in law on the, on the hallway. His mother in law is his stepmother, so I. Stepmom. Oh, right. Mother. Yeah.

00:29:00:09 – 00:29:28:00
Yeah. Stepmom. So can you imagine that? You've just, Yeah. It's just not. Not a David. I'd be a stepmom in your dreams. And then you go and see her and you've got a massive wet patch. Do you remember your first sexy dream? I had one I do remember as a kid, way before I'd ventured into the realms of being with a woman, was I was having sex with what I thought was sex because it wasn't sex.

00:29:28:02 – 00:29:36:09
What? It was with two women and the veggies had teeth.

00:29:36:11 – 00:29:46:16
I remember them. I think they might have been twins. My dream. That's what that means, I don't.

00:29:46:18 – 00:30:09:02
I said I was scared a panelist at that age. Yeah, but maybe I'd like to if you, If you know the answer to why that's. And send an email and let's let's, break this down. The John is with teeth. That is, that is a bloody scary for you. Right, mate? Today's, today's topic is laziness.

00:30:09:02 – 00:30:43:15
As we said at the top end of the show, it's going to read to you what laziness is in the Oxford Dictionary. The quality of being lazy, aversion or disposition to exert oneself, slowness, sluggishness. And then I went to lazy averse to labor, idle, inactive, slothful. So growing up, were you as a, as we've kind of, spoke about in that story then when I was a kid, I was on my bike all the time playing football as a kid.

00:30:43:15 – 00:31:07:04
I was playing football on the bike, setting fires, smashing stuff up, stealing. I think that was pretty much my child, but I was never that attentive. You can call it lazy. The one that played indoors all the time. And the computer. Well, what kind of, I was, I was a combination of both a lazy boy.

00:31:07:04 – 00:31:28:14
No, no, no, I'd be playing football every day. Every single day. My five brothers, two step brothers and one we together we play football. And we had, my my step brothers. Granddad. He was the groundsman at the school that we went to. So every weekend he would just open up and we go on the school field and play for, Ray for hours.

00:31:28:14 – 00:31:46:06
Ricky. Hours and hours. And then there was the, the harvest, the state. So as kids, we would knock around with the kids from Harvest Estate. Now, if there are any, you know, you're gonna make it. Listen to this. They'll know exactly where Harvest Day is. You've even seen here. You know, the Tolley popping Holloway. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

00:31:46:07 – 00:32:08:13
And that estate there right in front of that. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. That's the site. Right. We used to, we used to knock about in there and play football. And we were friends with all the boys on Harvest Estate. What we weren't friends with were the boys from Jacksons Lane. The Jacksons. Yeah. Jacksons Lane was the or Jackson Street, rather was directly opposite.

00:32:08:13 – 00:32:29:05
And there was loads of boys there. We would play football against them. Harvest estate versus Jackson. Jackson Street would Mark. Right. Did you get. No a yeah, it was a fire fight. Yeah. Is it. Yeah. All that stuff. All that good stuff. Yeah. Yeah. It felt quite normal as a kid growing up in school and to the fighting.

00:32:29:05 – 00:32:48:03
Violence was really normal. Where, where we grew up, it wasn't like, like even in my dad's age, there was like, you know, he'd tell me stories about mates being stabbed in pops and stuff around Holloway, Essex Road and Highbury Fields. And so it was, it was quite normal. He was good mate. Paul, you got stabbed twice in the back when my dad was there at the pub.

00:32:48:05 – 00:33:09:18
Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. And so, so just a little fight at football. Playing football wasn't a big it wasn't that big a deal I don't think. But yeah, but my point is, is always out. Always, always playing football, doing something active. And then we get home and then get would definitely get on a computer then.

00:33:09:20 – 00:33:30:09
Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. So that was, that was that was kind of it. Yeah I kind of got into computers because they were the fad, the thing, you know, like a Nintendo that came out Mega drive that came out, I'd get it, I'd play it, I'd play the free games. Then there would be like, a FIFA that we'd start playing.

00:33:30:09 – 00:34:04:23
But I was never yeah, I didn't really like, hang around indoors too much, really not. So I was, you know, all football, fishing, dirt, doing whatever. I'm not like that at all. Now I am the complete opposite. So, laziness in your personal life versus laziness in your working life. You said, at the, at the beginning that there was a there's a kind of a difference of your working life and that you not wanting to do things.

00:34:05:00 – 00:34:37:01
Is that down to motivation or laziness? Yeah. First off, the statement I sent to you last night, this is. If there's anything less true about anything I say, it would have been this state, this statement. Where was it? Yes it was. I'm working. I was I'm, I'm working to do. I'm having to just recount it. Now, if you can't find it, I'm basically working so I can do as little as possible.

00:34:37:03 – 00:34:57:17
So I'm. I've engineered my life so I can do as little as possible all the time. I have absolutely no issue. Oh, no difficulty in sitting on the sofa and watching telly and doing absolutely fuck all. In fact, it's like a dream. It's like a dream for me to sit on the sofa, open up a bottle of red wine and watch some telly.

00:34:57:21 – 00:35:17:01
I couldn't tell you more happier place in my life. There's no greater, no greater thing I can say. And sitting on the sofa with my wife, watching Masters of the air or whatever it might be, finding a good show. We like the bottle of wine nipping off for a fag every now and then. That is nice. Oh, yeah.

00:35:17:01 – 00:35:34:22
Yeah, it's. You know what I mean. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's heaven. Heaven. There's heaven. Heaven. If you ever have any, any little, like, favorite snacks that you eat that you bring out. I don't know if we talked about this before, but when the missus brings out a cheese board out of nowhere where she didn't say that she was good.

00:35:34:24 – 00:35:54:13
Because, you imagine I love you. You've had dinner, right? You've had dinner, and three hours has passed. Maybe you might be on your second bottle of wine Rover might be your friend, a little bit tipsy. But the food's gone and you're feeling good. And the missus nips out and you think, what's this? By going on toilet, whatever.

00:35:54:15 – 00:36:21:05
And, yes. And rustling and jingling. And that she comes back in. She threw it in there. She's only bought a fucking cheese board in two. Fucking. Oh. And then you sit there and make a little cheese and crackers with a bit of chutney. Oh, mate. Oh, I'm no happier place. Oh, my life. So what I'm saying to you, you know, the thing that pisses you off the most is that she has to go out and work and spend less time with me, so,

00:36:21:07 – 00:37:02:23
Yeah, that's. But I'm detracting. It's that's that's that's my dream. I don't have any issue with not be allowed to hear from happily, I'm happily sedentary. I am in my working life, and it's more to do with my character. I'm just the way that I am. I will put 100% into it, into work. And there isn't. I am so hurt by any questioning or accusation or anything of my work ethic, or that I haven't put my best foot forward, or that it's one of those things you've called in.

00:37:03:00 – 00:37:31:04
Can you do this for me, Rick? And I'll fuck it. That will do. That is never me. I put my heart and soul into everything and look round to that. I don't get feedback or, negative criticisms or anything because I find it fucking wounding. So I'm always like funny when somebody, when, when someone says you've been received some criticism, you you don't.

00:37:31:04 – 00:37:50:10
My assumption would be that you you don't respond to it. You take on internalize it and destroy you. Yeah. That that's you've nailed it. Absolutely nailed it. I could be that something could have happened to me three years ago. And it's 6:00 in the morning. I'm having a shower, and I'm still thinking about that conversation that someone said, and they were wrong.

00:37:50:10 – 00:38:15:08
And I do not believe what they said. Now, I will go into this in greater depth when we do, not. The health anxiety makes that kind of an imposter syndrome or mental wellbeing or anything, because I have I have suffered over the last few years and it's been a build up of things, but I'm just like everybody else that we all go through those things.

00:38:15:08 – 00:38:35:24
And I went to counseling. I went counseling for like a year and a half, and I understood where this all comes from. And I will, I'll talk about it at length when we do that. All right. But but it's, Yeah, I just so in my working life, I'm always like, I just have to do as best as I can.

00:38:36:01 – 00:38:57:21
And in my personal life, when it comes to DIY and stuff like that, I try and shirk it. Like you were saying, that all you want to do is be on the sofa watching TV and that's your happy place. That's my happy place too. But there's something in me that's always like, I could be answering an email while I'm sitting there.

00:38:57:21 – 00:39:23:19
I could be, thinking of a topic for the podcast. I could be there's always I could be, I could be, I should be, I need to do, There's no there's a thing, human doing and human being and just being present, on the sofa in that film, not looking at your phone at the different cast members and what they're doing now and all that, that.

00:39:23:21 – 00:39:53:14
But I just find myself watching TV but still work. I'm still doing stuff. Yeah, but look, there's there's a couple of things that the, the, it's not an unhealthy position to and it's completely normal, I think, to be anxious about the work you're not doing. But there's also a really kind of well trodden phrase. One of these sort of self-help ones is, is the magic is in the work that you're avoiding, the work that you're not doing.

00:39:53:16 – 00:40:23:00
Like there's always more room to develop and more opportunity to, to be, to achieve. Right, and to create new things. But so you need to be able to switch that off. And, my, my greatest failing is I don't have that is it's always on the off. So off, I have to force myself to do stuff.

00:40:23:02 – 00:40:40:12
I've got I'm like, I'm so good at. Not like I don't say good. It's just a character trait. It's like we used to get out and get smashed up. We get smashed up all kinds of things. I'm taking myself right now mentally, right back to to, was that kind of scene, that clubbing scene where we were.

00:40:40:12 – 00:41:02:23
Yeah, but we'll tell a story one day. But going out in London, that should be an episode. You know, you were so hammered, Ricky, that and and fucked up that you pulled its velvet curtain down while you were singing Oasis songs, and the bouncer wanted to kick you out, but couldn't find you under this huge velvet curtain.

00:41:03:00 – 00:41:28:09
Fucking hilarious. Right? But we'd get so mangled we'd go back, wouldn't sleep doing all sorts. But maybe two days on the bounce. And this isn't me bragging. This is just it all kind of stuff that, lads in London would end up getting up to. And I would not sleep, and I really feel fat. And I'd look in the mirror and, you know, I used to say to myself, Rick, I'll forgive you.

00:41:28:11 – 00:41:53:00
I forgave myself all the time. I just said, don't worry about it, don't worry about it. Whereas you you're like, you're a piece of shit. You've done it again. Yeah. I was terrible for that. Just don't worry about it. Do you know what? I swear on my life that I was having one of yet another one of my, episodes where I got that self-loathing, and I haven't done this.

00:41:53:00 – 00:42:11:04
I haven't done that. And we were talking, and you said, just forgive yourself. Just forgive yourself. Just let yourself have one of those days. Well, yeah. Who cares? It's just a day. Just forgive yourself. And when I heard that a lot, honestly, I was I. Yeah. Really? That work? Yeah. It fucking worked me I swear down to you.

00:42:11:04 – 00:42:29:15
And it was, it was amazing. And I still have to kind of refocus on those things that it is okay to just fucking sit on the sofa and watch Only Fools and Horses for a few hours and just just scrape everything. You feel terrible on the sofa. And this is what's wonderful about my my wife is that she'd let me do it.

00:42:29:15 – 00:43:05:17
If I had a big night, she'd just go, yeah. And I would know. Be no pressure. But a lot of people beat themselves up about that. And I think that kind of lines up with, with be like the anxiety of not working or being active, and especially when you work for yourself like, well, I started the business in 2018 and the anxiety I had at the beginning when I moved from having a normal job to, you know, working for myself, where if I don't do it, there will be no money coming in on top of where's the money going to come from, how am I going to pay for it?

00:43:05:19 – 00:43:22:06
And that kicked that. That meant that I had to work. I had to do it. I had to find ways to start creating content, make it work, make it better. And so I didn't have time to to be lazy.

00:43:22:08 – 00:43:42:06
Now the everything's sort of in motion and I kind of know what I'm doing. I a loads of time to be lazy. And so what happens is you lose the edge. Yeah. And that's, that's what it is. Because right now I'd rather. I love talking to you, Ricky. I love talking to you. But I'd rather be on the sofa with my hands down my pants.

00:43:42:08 – 00:43:58:21
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I brought my. My dream would be on the sofa with you, with all hands down my pants, watching my brothers. I was about to say maybe no nipple for a little spliff. Yeah. Oh, mate, that would do. Yeah. Yeah, I think maybe it's about seven. Maybe a couple of beers.

00:43:58:23 – 00:44:20:17
Yeah, yeah, we can do that. Right? You know, nothing stopping us and doing it. Well, I'm coming down in a couple of weeks, so, don't say no more. No, but. Okay. What? I mean, you can't use a little holiday. You're having to sit on the sofa with me. But one day, Rick, we'll get to a stage. Maybe we'll live closer together one day.

00:44:20:19 – 00:44:44:01
Yeah. And we need to make it like a weekly pilgrimage where we sit, go back to the old days. Not be amazing. What I was going to say. I do want to, if we if we rewind a little bit, you said about your Mrs. is quite accepting of, your laziness or that. Yeah. In recovery.

00:44:44:03 – 00:45:03:19
In recovery? Yeah. What would you say if she was. What? What would she say? Yeah. Is your number one laziness trait that you could do? You could help out a bit more. You should be. You should be running. Move around till you mate. You fucking live. I, I try it, you should be. You should be put in the dishwasher.

00:45:04:00 – 00:45:22:20
You should be doing more dinners. Maybe you're at home. I can come off cook more than she does. So the reason I need to upgrade, I've got an equal. Equal I think is equal. I don't think she thinks is equal. I think she thinks that she does a lot more than me. Yeah. And she'd probably be right.

00:45:22:22 – 00:45:42:17
I do pay all the bills. See, I like that. That's that's one of the things. I mean, we'd be a misogynist again. Like, we are a little bit like, if she pay the bills, I'll do the ironing. But it's. Yeah, it is a little bit, I don't know if it is misogyny, you know, I really don't know, I don't care.

00:45:42:18 – 00:46:06:22
All I can say is my experience, how I feel that I pay all the bills, car insurance, you know, I cover everything. And she contributes. Yes, she does, but in the grand scheme of things, it's a that's in that contribution. It's it's unequal. So I kind of like subconscious but now conscious obviously it's like you ain't self conscious.

00:46:06:22 – 00:46:27:13
You thought about it not. Right. Yeah. Because you, you do a little bit more of that to, to kind of equal that up. You know, I mean I'm not going to be paying the bills and then doing like loads of the house stuff that I don't think that's a fair really, I don't I hope she doesn't listen to this because I'm fucking dead, man.

00:46:27:15 – 00:46:45:04
Fucking dead. That's one of those ones where she's thundering round the house. Yeah. Going from room to room, slamming doors shut, doing all that and not speaking to me for a week away. You have gone. Is that long? Long? Is it because I know that there's been a few days where it's been a bit like, fuck, you know, fuck, you know?

00:46:45:04 – 00:47:10:07
Is that like, getting up at 4:00 in the morning is that not. And I'm at for morning or something else. Yeah. Oh yeah. Maybe, maybe some of those maybe, maybe I've kind of, I've vocalized what I've just said to, to a lesser degree for a while. I've been a bit aggy and it hasn't gone down. No. Oh you know, you know, you look down though fundamentally in terms of like doing your share and trying to avoid being lazy.

00:47:10:11 – 00:47:36:06
The relationship is a partnership. And I think I've mentioned this before. It's almost like my money and everything I own is hers. Yeah. And and vice versa. And our relationship and what, what we, what we do is, is we become. The way I see it philosophically is we are one item, we are one thing. And everything I earn is for us and for the kids.

00:47:36:08 – 00:48:01:23
And everything she earns does it for the kids and us. Right. So you're just you're just pulling in the same direction. So there is no mis balance. We just do until there is a, there is like a clear imbalance in what's being done. This is why I love to this is why I love to do because it because I didn't feel I you know, my, my I didn't I didn't really think that way.

00:48:01:23 – 00:48:29:24
And now we listen you speak when you. It might make me feel a bit more. Yeah. It's when you get home. What does she give you when you get home? When she comes in for the door. For free. For in that burst of excitement. That's. Yeah, that's that's that, that's the that's what she gives you. Right. So maybe she's run, run the move around a bit more I, I'm, I genuinely think that she would rather not do any of it because she's ready.

00:48:30:01 – 00:48:47:13
It's that out of it. I don't think you would as well. No I think you would. You would do it. That will do you know when you got it. Yeah. Yeah. In today's sort of weird little corner places. And you need to get that little accessory back just down there. You'll know what you ain't doing. That. That Jesus Christ, no.

00:48:47:15 – 00:49:07:16
But but listen to this week. What? There is no anxiety or. Yeah, I think there was anxiety that a man will feel that hearing his other half starting doing the housework. And you're on the sofa doing nothing.

00:49:07:18 – 00:49:24:18
Oh, yeah. Oh, she's been doing that. And, you know, she comes down the stairs and she's, you know, she's about to come in the front room and you just throw your phone like it's a grenade. Yeah, but you haven't been looking like you're on TikTok. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hit me when she's coming.

00:49:24:20 – 00:49:51:13
Yeah. Me? I kind of lying there under my blankie on my phone here. If that's. Throw it. And then I take the blankie off like I'm getting up, and I just grab whatever's nearest to me so it looks like I am doing tidying up. Yeah, I'm. I'm helping out. I mean, yeah, I don't think I think you should be able to use your laziness as, when you do it, and not just because one person's like, so my ex relationship, it wasn't that easy going.

00:49:51:15 – 00:50:09:21
Yeah. If she was cleaning up, I had to be clearing up at the same time. And if it wasn't, she would be. She would, she would be. She would let me know that this is all cleaning time. But my position was, fucking asked to start the cleaning time, right? We should have a designated cleaning time when we're all agreed, right?

00:50:09:21 – 00:50:28:19
No. I'm not. Just when you start cleaning, do I then have to jump up and start cleaning? I did, but yeah, it's not like that. It's not like that. I, I would say just because I don't want to be accused of misogyny because it just I do sometimes listen back to myself and think you should have thrown out differently.

00:50:28:21 – 00:50:49:02
But every night she gets home from work, I've provided dinner and cooked dinner, and she has food to come back to do my best in the ironing. The washing up gets done. We have got a dishwasher, right? So everyone has a chip in there. So I think, I think there's a good balance. Good balance I'll finish off.

00:50:49:03 – 00:51:11:15
No. So it's not really it's not really a chore. Like there's nothing more relaxing to me than the finding a recipe on on the internet and just trying it out mate. Doing that right. Got music playing or a podcast? Right? Yeah, I read one idea. Fuck it. You just having a design and something is. It's all right, I love it, I love it, it's definitely better.

00:51:11:17 – 00:51:32:23
And I cook a breakfast I should I think I would say I did 90% of the cooking and she's an incredible cook as well. To be fair, she's better than me, but she's, she's lucky lady. That's all I got to say to finish this off. What are your top three or just just any lazy traits examples that you've got.

00:51:33:00 – 00:51:46:14
So I'll go first. I mean, this this I might catch strays this online, but I drink.

00:51:46:16 – 00:52:11:00
Sweetheart from I just out there you said I drink loads of it. I drink shitloads from our upstairs tap the en suite bathroom. That's how we'll, fill it up. My water bottle. Drink from it all the time. I probably drink more from upstairs than downstairs. I don't care, it's water. Water everywhere. Let's all have a drink. I don't even the UK.

00:52:11:02 – 00:52:32:21
Call me back. That water everywhere. Let's have a drink. Is that I don't? I think that is a no, I. I heard it on The Simpsons. This home is lost at sea. And he says that he drinks the sea water. It starts choking. Whoa, whoa. Everywhere. Let's all have a drink. Genius is, Yeah, yeah. I know you sound like my my dad plumbed these.

00:52:32:21 – 00:52:56:11
The problem? He was a plumber by trade or central heating engineer, he would say. But he. Sometimes the cold taps upstairs don't come from the mains. They come from a tank in the in the in the loft. And you don't want to be drinking that, right. Okay. That might explain the dodgy gut. You may do may if you're if you're drinking from a tank, anything could be in that tank.

00:52:56:15 – 00:53:15:01
The tank could be leaking. They could there could be a dead rat in there. Right, right. Let's let's stop this conversation because I'm going to continue to drink from that. Because because it is just I'm just fine. I'm not saying I'm not saying don't drink from the tap. I'm saying don't drink for the tap break, but also go and check the tank.

00:53:15:06 – 00:53:30:06
The system in the in the loft. I'll speak to my old man, see if it's safe. But my dad plumbed, the our upstairs taps into the mains. So you just get fresh water like you would get in from. So that was wicked. I used to do that. There's nothing better than stumbling about who the fuck wants. That's it.

00:53:30:09 – 00:53:48:21
Sometimes, Rick, I'll do one of mine. I'll be in bed in our house. We've got a downstairs toilet. Everyone else. All the bedrooms are upstairs. It'll be four, four in the morning. I'll wake up mine. Go. My, my my brain goes, you need a piss. And then I'll be having a conversation. I don't just leave me. I don't really want to go.

00:53:48:23 – 00:54:07:05
I don't want to have a piss eye so far. And I'm going to wipe myself off. I want to go back to sleep. I'm just. Can you do me a favor, bladder? Just. You take this one. You take this one and let me go back to say fucking cunt, doesn't it? Does it? Oh, yeah. Someone actually did send in that one of their lazy, lazy.

00:54:07:07 – 00:54:31:03
Was that that it was their brother. They say their brother. Twin brother with it. Yeah. No, I don't know if it was twin brother, but it was. It was their brother that said that they had the same thing. Their bathroom is downstairs, and they would have a piss joke that in that during the night they needed way that they would go for a wee in this jug, and then they put him in the proper place in the jug.

00:54:31:05 – 00:54:54:00
Yeah. I just know what. Like toilet jugs and toilet bowls. Piss bowls are more common than people will have you believe. Like God. Really? You. We. We got a message to me, Rick. Have you done that one about the twin brother? We're both. Well, we're both 48. August sleeps of a piss jug next to his bed. This is what I'm talking about.

00:54:54:00 – 00:55:15:13
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so you said the message you sent me yesterday says, it starts with lol. I love that my twin brother with 40 in August sleeps with a piss jug next to his bed and mix it in the Am. That's what you saying? You could share this because he's not cool is like us. The fuck that cunt.

00:55:15:15 – 00:55:38:21
So my my brother at university, Alex, who did the jingles? He does the jingles and done the promo. People have been asking about promo and who did it. All of it said, my little brother Alex Campbell. He's got loads of music, so go on Spotify and listen to him. Alex on the can. Well, he's got about 580 monthly listeners now, so people are tuning to his work.

00:55:38:23 – 00:56:01:18
There's like the thousands of people listening to this. So go Spotify and listen to Alexander can was music is excellent. It's really good. If you go on to Lads Anonymous Instagram or Twitter, the link in our bio, our Linktree goes directly to Spotify. That's why it's fucking fucking easy to get out of fire. So why don't you go do that and go and treat yourself?

00:56:01:18 – 00:56:25:15
It's it's amazing. So he he was when he was at university, they him and a couple of mates, they lived on the top floor of this massive house. There was like nine students in there, and they were like, it's just too far to go down to the toilet. You're talking like three floors. So what they did is they engineered or created a contraption where it run.

00:56:25:17 – 00:56:46:24
You know what I'm talking about. We you remember this? No, no, I really. Okay, so, so imagine, one of those big old Victorian houses, and they had a, they had a, a sort of circular stairwell that went down. And offshoots of this stairwell would be, different houses, not just different rooms and bedrooms where people slept at big House.

00:56:47:01 – 00:57:21:05
So him and his mates ran a round a hose from the very top landing cellar, taped it all the way down in the banisters, and ran the hose where it had to be like above sort of the toilet in service by it ran this hose directly into the toilet, Sellotape it underneath the toilet lid and and then they put a funnel at the top and the lads would just piss into this hose, the funnel and the piss would run all the way down the stairs into the toilet.

00:57:21:07 – 00:57:30:04
And they were all good, right. What they didn't realize is that they couldn't tell if anyone was in the toilet when they started pissing.

00:57:30:06 – 00:57:52:13
So he was pissing once and he had a woman scream. He's pissing all over the woman. He's, It's it's flat, mate. It's. You know what? They did great. They developed a system where they would have a bell at the top of the stairwells, and they'd ring the bell and then start pissing. So anyone who is in the toilet could escape before the piss came down the tube.

00:57:52:15 – 00:58:20:14
That is fucking, But, what can you imagine? You're sitting there just. I starts coming in, may piss as well. It's not normal piss. We've got, a couple more that have been sent in. I'll quickly wait three days. So topic of laziness. This is what people have sent in to give examples of how lazy they are.

00:58:20:16 – 00:58:46:00
I've watched programs such as the Great Sewing Bee and Pottery Throwdown just because I couldn't be asked to reach the remote control, which is yeah, we've been there. Yeah, phone in on messaging my kids if I want them to do something while in the same house. I've done that. Yeah, it's called kids down for breakfast or dinner as you.

00:58:46:02 – 00:59:07:19
Yeah, because I can't we got to get to the stairwell. So I spoke to a parcel delivery guy via my ring doorbell and told him to leave the package on the doorstep, even though he could see me sitting on the sofa. That is. That is right. That's that's good. That's a bloody good on that particular mash up those.

00:59:07:21 – 00:59:29:06
We would phone a taxi and get him to pick up cigarettes just so he didn't walk. So the. So you'd have a taxi. You don't need a lift anywhere. But can you pick his cigarettes up and drop them off to the house and they buy the cigarettes and it's like a tenner on top. And the fact that I'm walking something so that's I know that's it.

00:59:29:06 – 00:59:47:24
If money well spent, money well spent. Yeah. I have a small rubber ball that I attempt to use to turn the light switch off in the front room. So it constantly pinging at that. You'll break your light switch if you keep. Also, there's so much more effort than just getting up and time turning it up. But it's a fun game.

00:59:48:00 – 01:00:09:13
It is a fun game. And the last one I pretend I haven't noticed the dog shit in my garden, said the wife of it. That is that they. I have a dog. I just can't leave. It's good fertilizer for the lawn or this is bad. Instead of picking up in a plastic bag, I'll go over it with a lawnmower.

01:00:09:15 – 01:00:36:02
Oh my God. Yeah. So it shoots up into the, the grass collecting bit rather than me having to pick it up. That is that that is amazing. I've never told anyone that. That's just something only I know. That is so good. That's good. Good linkage. So we're going to go into a couple of dilemmas. Something you know so right.

01:00:36:04 – 01:00:43:10
Yeah we've just done it. Now we're going to go into that. We're going to vacuum with the again. Yeah.

01:00:43:12 – 01:00:51:10
Wow. Something you know good.

01:00:51:12 – 01:01:16:01
Right. So this is this is quite relative messy messes. So boys, I hit the jackpot with my Mrs.. She's beautiful, smart, funny, enthusiastic, positive, loving, caring. And she looks like the porn star. Natasha. Nice. Look it up. If you don't know who that is, I'm looking at right now. Oh, my God, I need you to do that.

01:01:16:03 – 01:01:42:15
One issue is this. She is the messes human I've ever encountered in my 3037 years of life. We are talking Roomful of crows all over the floor like a fucking mountain of crows. Looks like a closet erupted like a volcano. Shit is everywhere. She is never taking the bins out or recycling out. She's wash the dishes. Maybe twice in the five years we've been living together.

01:01:42:17 – 01:02:05:10
Every time I approach this with her, it turns into a full blown Barney talking about how to choose from work and how she'll do it tomorrow. But tomorrow never comes. I like a clean and tidy place, boys. I pride myself on it. It makes me feel organized and less stressed. But this pigsty is making me anxious and it's a mess for sure.

01:02:05:10 – 01:02:27:24
This is what caused me to develop Crohn's disease. Do I try to? Do I continue trying to find a way to get it to be tidier? Or do I just give up and hire a cleaner because my chronic health conditions can't keep up, can't keep up with her messiness? That's a dilemma, though, isn't it? That is it.

01:02:28:01 – 01:02:45:21
I thought that I played to something only, you know, jingle. Yeah, that's that's fine, because we'll be doing that in a minute anyway. All right. Okay. Get a cleaner win. Forget about it. It's never gonna happen. Never change it. She's a slob, sparks. Everything else about our relationship is fantastic. Like you said, she does all of those things.

01:02:45:21 – 01:03:03:02
It's just. It's just more clean. It's just want to do it. So get cleaner in. That's not part of the problem solved. But I think the issue might be, Ricky, is that he feels like there's an imbalance. And that is an issue for a relationship. Like a balance ship is a happy one. And, I think that's the issue he finds.

01:03:03:04 – 01:03:11:00
Does he find the less attractive because of the. She's a dirty bitch.

01:03:11:02 – 01:03:35:12
I have the same issue. Well, not not the same issue. What makes you like you? Mrs.. Again? No, no, no, I'm just going to say that she was like, can you do the dishwasher? And I was like, yes, of course. And now she said that what she means is can you do the dishwasher now? Right now when I'm not, I'll do it, but I'll do it in an hour because I'm, I'm busy looking, Instagram or I'm busy watching this program or I'm busy.

01:03:35:16 – 01:03:54:21
I'm just doing something else. I will do what you're asking me, but in my time. But that isn't really that. That's never works out. Well, no, no, but you're drawing the line in on you. You know, you could just do it. Yeah, but you're like, I'll do it. But because you asked me, I'm not gonna do it right now.

01:03:54:21 – 01:04:17:21
I'll do it in an hour. That's. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Yeah. So maybe I should just get on and do it. But I don't want to. Why, why why that. Why do you have to do that? Why can't it just be done by the missus? Because then there would be an imbalance. When there, it would be like she's doing everything it does.

01:04:17:21 – 01:04:41:09
She do everything. Ricky, you you being lazy with the housework? The, Yes. Housework. Yes, yes. So you do no housework now I do, I do the emptying of the dishwasher and stacking up the dishwasher. And I pretty much say that is as much as I do. Maybe cook once a week, wiping the tables down, tidying up, doing the tidying up.

01:04:41:11 – 01:04:46:00
The when she has a full time job.

01:04:46:02 – 01:05:09:14
She does. Do you think this is fair? Right? This doesn't sound fair. It feels fair. I know, I'm not saying you don't want it. This is exactly how you want it. I get it, but can you maybe appreciate that she. If she's asking you to do the dishwasher. One task and you're waiting, know now to do it. That might piss her off, but it's the only thing you do.

01:05:09:16 – 01:05:27:07
Okay, fine. From here, pay it. Pay for everything I am. I'm going to put a shift in this week, and then next week, a report to see if there's been an uptick in positivity in the House. That's great. So do have do do shift this week just just for just purely experiment a bit of homework okay. All right.

01:05:27:10 – 01:05:51:10
Do it. Do shift this week. Don't mention it. Yeah. Just do some decent decent house or do the dishwasher before she even has a ask when she opens it. I can't see it's done. Cook a couple of times. Yeah. And then see I'm not talking about a return in what you want and buy horny little devil. Yeah, but just see if there is an uptick in in the positivity.

01:05:51:12 – 01:06:11:00
Okay. I'll do that. I'm going to do that. But but be honest though, because if it did do it all, really work it it. But also be honest if there is nothing. Okay. So yeah, it's a this is an experiment for the lads. This is one for the lads. I'm going to be doing this. I'm going to get fully, fully in there and we'll we'll see how it work works out.

01:06:11:01 – 01:06:32:20
Yeah. So the next dilemma. Yep. Is forbidden love. A mate of mine who lives abroad, let's call him Dave, was back in the UK for the holidays. He was staying with one of his best all mates. Let's call him Luke. They were party Illinois and it got to 6 or 7 in the morning and Luke had to go to work, so he left.

01:06:32:22 – 01:06:58:21
So he left. David is place the only other person left Paul in days was Luke was Luke's misses. Long story short, they've ended up shagging Luke's Mrs.. This was kept quiet until about a year later when Dave told Luke about it. Luke and his Mrs. had broken up about a month or two after it happened, so he wasn't with her anymore.

01:06:58:23 – 01:07:21:05
But suffice to say, he was livid and basically said their friendship was over. Yeah, right. So. So my question to the lads, anonymous is this if this is unforgivable or do you think there's any chance of them being mates again, is shagging your best mate? Mrs.. Worse than, say, shagging their mum or their sister? Shagging the mama sister is fine.

01:07:21:07 – 01:07:42:04
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you might be pissed off about it because almost like it's about the power is shifted in the friendship, isn't it? If you checked your mates, mum, the there's a power shift there, because whatever, no matter what he says, you could have sex your mum though. Yeah. And you would basically have to call him. You step that he's basically your stepdad by dragging your mum so you could.

01:07:42:05 – 01:08:06:05
But but all sisters the same. Whatever you think, no matter what. Where every time I speak to you, at some point in our conversation, it's gonna come into your head that I've checked your sister. So those two things aren't advisable. But shagging your best mates girlfriend while they're together is what I would say. One of the worst things you could do.

01:08:06:07 – 01:08:28:03
Not just as a friend, as a as a human being. Yeah. You should have stopped him. You should have stopped him in the front and then watch him and watch him bleed out. Yeah, unless it's bleeding out. Look him in the eyes and say, this is what you get. If you do do some mad things and you mangle, don't gear and they they you make your decision making isn't at its peak.

01:08:28:05 – 01:08:56:08
Why did he tell him? Why did he tell him? Because they'd broken up and he thought we'd be all right. But that's it. He's a massive frame that you take that to the grave. You never mention it. Why would you do that? That's the only time you'd mention it is on, on on this segment. Why? Something ugly. You know, something only you know, the only time you'd mention this is if you listen to a podcast and, and you was asked that question.

01:08:56:09 – 01:09:22:23
Don't fucking tell him. What did you expect? Oh, that is bad ass. Yeah. I can't say anything more than what we've just. Because that is mental. Now we're going to come to the other segment things only, you know again. Yeah. Well, something ugly, you know, stuck in people's heads. Eyes.

01:09:23:00 – 01:09:46:13
So I moved away from home to Birmingham for a job after uni during Covid, I didn't know anyone in the city and it was a massive dry spell, so I was swiping like a mad man on Tinder looking for anything that breathes. I matched with some Russian bird who is literally a ten out of ten. Absolutely stunning. And the chat was pretty steamy.

01:09:46:15 – 01:10:12:22
She was saying all sorts of horny stuff and told me she's, she's on OnlyFans and asked if I wanted to make a video tonight. I was hesitant about I was hesitant, I was hesitant at first. Yeah, they agreed that if my face wasn't in it, then fine and we can split the profit. I frantically telling a few of the boys about what I was doing that night and everyone was like, what the fuck are you doing for?

01:10:12:22 – 01:10:37:14
Also, this is hilarious. Yeah, this is amazing. So I get to the gaff and wait outside in my car for a calling. I get in and the house was freezing cold. This is mid-January with no lights on, so I'm already a bit suspicious. She clearly hadn't been paying her lucky booze. She leads me upstairs with her phone torch and into the bedroom we go.

01:10:37:16 – 01:11:03:03
I could never have guessed what was waiting for me in there. A full size tripod with a camera pointing to the bed, and a six foot six giant of a heroin ridden, malnourished, bald Russian bloke behind the camera. I boys, what have I got myself into? Yeah, within seconds of being inside the bedroom. They're asking for money. I'm talking five, 600 pounds and more.

01:11:03:05 – 01:11:31:18
He gets handsy and pushy with me while I was asking, and I don't know what to do. Fight or flight kicks in and I clock this guy on his chin. But for me, that was like reaching for the top shelf. He falls to the ground and I pick up the tripod in a mad, resourceful way and proceed to wallop him with it for a few times and scurry out of the house into my car and get home to have a raging wank and forget about this monstrosity of my horniness ever happened.

01:11:31:20 – 01:11:52:03
I love the fact that yeah, when I'm for I went through after all that, it's like, yeah, this is this is what I need to do. Yeah. That's, that is absolutely terrifying. And look, if sometimes if something's too good to be true, then it probably is. And you're thinking this, what is this rocket interested in me for?

01:11:52:05 – 01:12:10:20
Yeah. I've put myself in some sort of a mental situation, situations in my drug addled state through the years. A couple spring to mind, but I'll save that for another bottle. I think we should do an episode of Bad Decisions in the night.

01:12:10:22 – 01:12:40:14
We've got a fucking ton of those sounds. So, Yeah, we should do that. Definitely. We're going to finish on the last one. Sofa shagging. Growing up, my boys learned about jerking off the good old fashioned way. Not me. My self-discovery came in the form of my family's suede living room couch. I must have been about 1213. And I remember staying up late at night just for sexy telephone operator commercials.

01:12:40:16 – 01:13:06:22
I'd have a 32nd window to violently rub my boxer shorts against the soft cushions of our living room sofa. One night, my dirty bit slipped through the little slit of my boxers and in between the cushions it was so. It was softer than inside a puppy's ear, and I finished within seconds. From then on I was hooked and often did this until my penis was red.

01:13:06:22 – 01:13:31:09
And so this continued for a few months with many close calls, until one day I was late on my withdrawal. That's right. I felt the crease of the sofa like it was a fancy pastry. It wasn't until then that I started using my hands in the bathroom in fear I'd absolutely destroyed my love. My mother's living room furniture with my man flip.

01:13:31:10 – 01:13:51:08
So there's this. I mean, this is just the tip of the iceberg. What what what are people getting up to? Like, what are they doing? Like the things that are like that. Just fucking a sofa is like. It's all right. I mean, it's not. Yeah. It doesn't surprise me that that's happened, but it's just the tip of the iceberg.

01:13:51:08 – 01:14:14:13
What is going on? I always remember we were at school and there was a kid who was, I don't know, maybe, it was a bit slow on the uptake, but we were, we're having a chat with him, and we were saying, oh, like, have you have you bash one out and. No, no, no, no. And we can't have we're just saying to him out, how have you ever done that?

01:14:14:15 – 01:14:41:15
And then he just out of nowhere said, what I do do is I roll my pillow up in my bedroom and have sex with my pillow. And when we just, like, looked at each other as to say we've gone too far now he's told us a bit too much. We were just hoping that he would just say, yeah, I've cracked one off, or done this, done that, watch a bit of porn, but rolling his pillow up, would you?

01:14:41:18 – 01:14:56:14
Do you stick in there and shag it? I was like, that's it. Yeah, it's a bit too much now when you when you not when out you you you get complete next.

01:14:56:16 – 01:15:10:24
That is that's a that's an absolute lie. I've even said it. Yeah I know, I know I got. Well now you tell me that you would just say that I, when I, when I crack one off, I get completely naked.

01:15:11:01 – 01:15:34:17
Completely naked. Like no single bit of material on you. Completely. Yeah, I can't, I can't, I can't arrive unless I am totally Clovis. Yeah, but, that's that's not true. When you have, kids and that young family, you've got to seize those opportunities. I ain't got time to be taking my clothes off. Yeah, I've got a window of opportunity.

01:15:34:18 – 01:15:56:20
Oh, that's it, Rick, there's some people I'd just be interested to know. What the. You know, the people listen to this, what might think. But when they go for a pop, they take off all their clothes. They get the naked. That is, he doesn't, I think it's much more common than people think. I've never done that. But you're one of your mates.

01:15:56:22 – 01:16:14:16
One of your mates used to poo and then eat on the toilet. That's what he meant. So, yeah, like eat, eat a packet of crisps while they're pooing. And then they said when they, when they told us about this, they said it feels like you when you, when you were sitting in the toilet and you were eating. Chris.

01:16:14:16 – 01:16:36:00
What it feels like you're eating your own shit. I think it was that man. No one no one eats Christmas food while they're while they're having a turn out there. Keep that to yourself. So what I ask you again, as usual, follow us on all the sideshows. If you're listening to this, follow us on Spotify. Follow us on Apple.

01:16:36:00 – 01:16:59:11
You can even go into the settings and switch it so that we're on automatic downloads. That would be amazing. So wherever you are in the car, whether you're taking the dog for a walk, whether you're on a plane where we're there, we're ready, we're ready to go. Like just fucking said, it's an automatic download, man, and we will be there for you next week's episode.

01:16:59:15 – 01:17:22:21
The topic is going to be time travel. Now that isn't going to be discussing how time travel works, although that might be fun. We want to know and we're going to be chatting about the time in your life where you wish you could travel back to and change something slightly, like the Butterfly Effect or Sliding Doors moment. Yeah.

01:17:22:24 – 01:17:55:08
Where if you had locked the door, then your mum wouldn't have come in and caught you wanking red handed. Yeah, though those types of stories. So if you've got that in your locker, then send it in to that unknown pod at gmail.com and we will feature your story and keep sending your dilemmas, things only you know. Got things I, you know, got the jingle and just want to say I love you.

01:17:55:13 – 01:18:17:18
Thank you for downloading you on I say it's it's amazing though the engagement again I still can't believe it. What ratings we got, how many ratings we got done I I've stopped looking now because it's just I'll tell you it's amazing. I can't I still can't believe it. For on labor of 85. Let's get that to 500 is out on Spotify.

01:18:17:20 – 01:18:36:16
Yeah Spotify right. If you're on Spotify get that fucking rating in. Let's get me to get us to 500. Get Richter 500. Yeah. Okay. Let's go over 500 right now. But see you later. Next week in a bit by.