#70 | Prenuptials | You NEED To Understand These Things!

00:00:03:10 – 00:00:34:06
On this podcast, right. We. We mustn't judge. Never judge like dilemmas. Something only you know the stories. I just I try my best not to judge people in all walks of life. Good. And every single morning I walk past my corner shop. And this corner shop is a traditional corner shop. It's not like a co-op or a branded corner shop.

00:00:34:06 – 00:01:00:18
So the local, it's mainly cigarettes and booze. The type where if you buy a pint of milk, you buy it that day. The next day it's gone off days type. So it's not very fresh produce, it's just convenience and overpriced. That's fine. Every morning I walk past and opposite the corner shop is a is a you know, a company.

00:01:00:18 – 00:01:28:01
So it's a an old railway shed. So there's lots of men that work there. And every morning when I walk past there is a convoy of men exiting the corner shop where they've all bought their lunches. And they all go for this, like the same similar sandwiches of, you know, sandwiches coming in a box. They're all in a crate box, but there's no labels.

00:01:28:01 – 00:01:50:22
It's just handwritten. What's on there. Yeah. And and stickers. Right. And I just, I, I can't, I can't buy it. I wouldn't be able to buy a sandwich from a corner shop like that. They are disgusting. What they are. Absolutely. So I've, I've been in that corner. Have you eaten at one before? No, no, I would never tell you that.

00:01:50:22 – 00:02:10:16
I never think that they are just, like, not call sandwiches and not. You're saying you shouldn't eat. No, no, I don't even see a gangster. Not a single gangster in someone's hand. They're all going for these sandwiches that someone bogie hands have made. So it's made by the local people. I don't know if it's made by the local people.

00:02:10:16 – 00:02:27:18
I think that, you know, I've looked in there and I've seen the wilted salad that are inside the sandwiches and the white bread that is just, it bleached within its life. You know, you know, when you look at a Sam Wilson, it will give me an example. One of the sandwiches at Ham. Ham and cheese. Yeah.

00:02:27:24 – 00:02:53:23
There is this ham and cheese coronation. I've seen just the salad one itself. Who fucking has just just a salad in a sandwich. It's cheese and salad. It. No, it's just it just it's just. It's a sandwich. Oh. What are we. So baguette. No, just sandwiches in a plastic. You know, those plastic containers. And there's just a label on it that says something like 3.25 pounds and then a bit of.

00:02:53:24 – 00:03:17:19
Right. And that's where someone's treating it. And I just. I reckon there's. Something you should try. One. You should definitely try one. Just put a good one apart and eat it in front of me. Do you know, I might actually do. They might be all right. They might be all right. Maybe I'm not. All of them have a monster energy drinks or red booze.

00:03:17:22 – 00:03:39:22
They sandwiches and steak and beef like McCoy's. Not that. I mean, they are proper men. Like manly men doing manly men work. Yeah. For real, I'm. And they just. Where is it? So it's in there. So you. Yeah. Because they just hungry. They're trying to do a job. Well, you're just like. Because you're sort of in media, you'll think you're above the sandwiches.

00:03:39:24 – 00:04:01:08
No, but even when I went to, like, the corporate world, I'd bring my own sandwiches in or I would buy sandwiches, but I'd buy, like, you know, a meal deal or something like that. Maybe it's the packaging that I'm put off. So I went to, I went to a college, but I'm still about like 20 years ago with a girl who worked in a factory.

00:04:01:08 – 00:04:18:19
She had everyone has, like, mad jobs. And your college kids. You got to make some money. Yeah. And I, I don't see young people typically working now like I was. I had a job like before I was 16 years old. And I've never not worked since then. What? Why did all that, why is our generation like, we just so.

00:04:18:21 – 00:04:45:15
Oh, we were just going to work as soon as we could. Now it's just like our turn to do in A-levels. We, you know, they don't have to work. I didn't write up. I had to fucking work. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Actually, that's fucking my job, right? A fucking job, my first job. So when I, I've spoken about this before, and it's quite funny, actually, because I messaged one of the guys on Facebook that I used to work with because it just popped into my head.

00:04:45:15 – 00:05:06:19
I haven't spoke to him in years, and I just thought, this has popped into my head. I'm going to message you on Facebook on on a wall so the other people could say, and so when I went school, went to do A-levels, did three months, it was shit left, started working in the warehouse. And when I was in this warehouse, it was just full of lads that were.

00:05:06:19 – 00:05:11:04
Exactly. Did you have a plan?

00:05:11:06 – 00:05:32:17
From what you did, you started doing A levels and didn't want to do it any more. That's right. So it was your plan was just like, I will I'm not doing it. I'm going to go work in a warehouse instead. What was what was you thinking? Get money, just get my wall. Just to go out the weekend and drink eight bottles of reef and be on the floor.

00:05:32:19 – 00:05:57:01
That was the plan in it. So it's just I don't want to study anymore. I'm just going to work. Yeah. I didn't know what I wanted to do, so. Well. I knew what I wanted to do, actually. So this was back in the day of fucking over 20 years ago, like 24 know, 20 plus years. But my plan was to create websites to be a website designer.

00:05:57:01 – 00:06:17:02
That's what I wanted to do. So we went. So I never knew that that's what I wanted to do and the there was A-levels, graphic design and in that in the syllabus it said website design. And I was like, fucking get in there. Because back then there wasn't specific courses for website design. There was nothing. What were this really 99?

00:06:17:02 – 00:06:45:05
Something like that. So it would have been around 2000, 2000, 2001 design. Yeah. And it was like for my case. Yeah, exactly. They were eat it. So I, I went and did this A-level graphic design. And it quickly became apparent that everybody that was doing this could draw and was good at design. So I'd look at everyone's work and I was like, that's fucking great.

00:06:45:05 – 00:07:06:21
And they would look at mine and I'd like just draw stickman. And I was like, this, this isn't gonna work. This really isn't gonna work. So I asked my teacher when web design was and he said, yeah, it's for two weeks. At the end of the second year, I was like, fuck that, let's get out of there. What was so most it was about sketching and yeah, not freehand and and then also working on the max.

00:07:06:21 – 00:07:26:08
But it was like you really have to have an eye for design like mine was clipart on top of clipart on top of it was fucking horrendous. Yeah. But so then I left and then I went to this warehouse and this is where I met all these people, and they were the same age as me, same kind of.

00:07:26:10 – 00:08:01:08
It was just literally. And the women that I worked with was part of that lad culture, and we'd go out and get fucking ballocks at the weekend. It was an amazing job. But why I messaged this person was I said, Jim, do you remember that every single lunchtime for four, for four years in a row that you had beans on toast, four slices of white bread, loads of butter, whole can of beans, all smothered in white pepper?

00:08:01:14 – 00:08:22:06
I just sent it to him out of the blue. Not that you reply. You hate it. They love it. Yeah, he said, I'm still partial to beans and I love that. A whole can and four slices of bread you're not having when you haven't beans on toast, you're not putting a whole can on, you know, that's just too much beans.

00:08:22:08 – 00:08:42:08
No. You got three slices a cheese, three slices of, She's a pretty small preference. Meh. I'll take that end. I'll take the crust. I like that because the beans jus kind of gets into it. Oh, okay. No, Rick, you can, you can have, you have a whole kind of bean. What are you doing when you have a bit.

00:08:42:10 – 00:08:58:22
What do we have a beans. How often have these. And if I was really pushing the pie at three quarters of it. But then there's always a quarter of a can of beans. Just sit in the fridge and die. I know what I let's all get to the end of the beans on toast and not still, I'm not satisfied.

00:08:58:24 – 00:09:20:04
Really good. Please I yeah I would the two slices taste and, the ends of the bread's in my ass. I'd fucking. As soon as I see them, they get whipped straight in the bin. Good for, like, cheese and toast and stuff like that. Oh, my. Having them, they have a fucking. What's this? This girl that I work with, she.

00:09:20:04 – 00:09:46:12
She used to work in a crisp factory and a sandwich making factory. And the lads are just using the sandwiches. Apparently, that's what I believed. It really said that my my Mrs.. I think she actually worked in a sandwich factory. I think she used in the sandwiches. Maybe got a slice of bread, wiped out a made.

00:09:46:14 – 00:10:04:04
She didn't do that. She didn't do that. I'm sorry I said that. I even made myself feel sick with that on them. No, I think she works in lazy. Like I've just played the fucking. That was a perfect place to end be. Well, that's me. Well, I've seen the jingle. Have you? Actually, if you are anything. Is that what you're about to say?

00:10:04:04 – 00:10:08:14
Is it funny? No.

00:10:08:16 – 00:10:30:13
Band of brothers playing tunes high as quite midnight waves surfing through till daylight breaks rhythm. Here's different ways. Love of music I we prayed with our tongues in cheek. Banzai! We like to speak and yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers.

00:10:30:15 – 00:10:53:11
Hello and welcome to lads anonymous is episode 70. I'm Ricky Hayes, two best mates. One main topic we answer your life dilemmas and confessions and our feature something only you know. And everything remains anonymous. Always. So sit back, relax and enjoy the pot. How's it going, Flav? I'm fine. My missus has got a really bad habit of just leaving cliffhangers in a WhatsApp group.

00:10:53:14 – 00:11:17:08
Like she'll say something that definitely requires more explanation, but then when and then won't follow up, just I. I like when people do that, say, oh, you never guess what happened to me today. Yeah. What? Oh, right. Just fucking cricket. Then you ring them. No answering. I'm like, you literally said that 30s ago. How are you? Not near your phone.

00:11:17:10 – 00:11:37:08
How are you not replying? I don't know what is. WhatsApp it. She's upstairs and I know she's upstairs. I know she's on her phone. She's playing fucking Candy crush and I've messaged her and she's just, not saying no, not that game. I, I'm fucking, I'm just, I don't idiot, I don't understand like, it's like someone says, sorry.

00:11:37:08 – 00:11:58:11
Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Yes. You can ask me a question, then ask the question. Just ask the question. It's last question. Why? Why is that? Why do you need to ask me? If you can ask me questions, ask me another question. Just ask the fucking question. Has anyone ever said no? Actually, you can't. You can't ask me any questions, right?

00:11:58:12 – 00:12:20:05
No, it's no questions Friday. No questions. Can I ask you a question though? May I just ask? You can if you just ask it and not waste both of our time. But every stupid prefix prefixed to the question is just. Yeah, yeah, I've. Yeah, I've never noticed that. I've just fucking asked the question. Doesn't early doesn't do that to me.

00:12:20:05 – 00:12:41:18
Faberge does just go like should leave and then you're like she won't look at a phone for three hours. She can't. Yeah. It's going to say your wife isn't very, she's not glued to her phone, so she's quite like, in and out. Yes, she is very, very in and out. Especially your WhatsApp. She's she's a phone when she's like playing subs I was I say subbuteo then Scrabble.

00:12:41:20 – 00:12:46:19
I thought that's what you said. So she does what.

00:12:46:21 – 00:13:09:13
It's about. Yeah. And I phone and she plays Scrabble on the phone quite a lot. But yeah, WhatsApp dips. And do you, do you play games on your phone and, not really. No. TikTok mainly. So I've got loads on. No, I got emails, I got fucking most of my work happens on my phone. So I'm always looking at something.

00:13:09:15 – 00:13:27:09
Yeah. Do you? We used to when we were knocking about together. You remember? We used to play that game, and I think it's me and you brothers got involved as well. It was a jumping game. There was a guy that used to, like, scribble, jump, I think. Yeah, yeah.

00:13:27:11 – 00:13:56:02
Yeah. Amazing what we're about this week in. So for this week we are talking about prenup now. Yeah. Say we want prenup. We want prenup. We do. In some ways, no. Yes. Kanye West Kanye. Oh, yeah, it's Kanye. Yeah, yeah, that's College dropout. How is it? I don't know that. Actually, I totally forgot to tell you that, we've been sent to voice notes, and I emailed them to you.

00:13:56:02 – 00:14:24:13
So while I'm talking to you, get them up. Get them up. I never got the Cardi West hype, did you not? Not at all. Not at all. Like when people go crazy for Kanye West. I know. Gotten like a bit mental. The most interested I've been on him when he got done summit mad like where's White Lives Matter shirt like or goes and speaks to Trump like yeah, anything like that.

00:14:24:15 – 00:14:51:12
Anything like that. I'm like, what's he up to now? But is music. No, no, I oh, this is when I was going through my I believe it was my music video director, phase of of life. This is when I was at college. It would have been, And Through the Wire came out, and the music video for that I remember, was pretty good.

00:14:51:14 – 00:15:11:07
So that's where he first came onto the scene. You listen to his album music? No. Not really. No, not really. I'm quite glad I did. People love him like it's people love you. I don't get it. I've gone past like this Cole Kendrick Lamar stuff that's kicking off like he's everywhere and I don't. Yeah, I like that. The album.

00:15:11:07 – 00:15:35:06
Damn. And that I like some of these. Like I get why he's popular and I get why people hold him up as an artist. Understand? It's just not my cup of tea. And I like the damn album. I listen to that quite a lot when it came out, but this whole Drake and I've just not got on board, like I'll be assed with all this sort of beef and sort of loaded stuff.

00:15:35:08 – 00:15:39:13
Can I shock you with something? I.

00:15:39:15 – 00:16:00:24
I've never listened to any of Kendrick Lamar's albums, and I don't know what this beef is with Drake content any of this thing is. I don't really know what it is. No, I just know that that that song from the Super Bowl is that. Yeah. That's awesome. And you know it like an actual. Yeah. Was Drake a pedophile?

00:16:01:01 – 00:16:24:21
He is a bit suspect though. If you seen this I, I've, I've heard well I mean I've seen stuff online but not really taking it in. It's like allegedly stuff like that for me about. Yeah. Like just grooming like the, I don't know, like like that, you know, 11 from Stranger Things. There's like weird commas. Yeah, yeah, in them to me Millie Bobby Brown.

00:16:24:21 – 00:16:46:05
Yeah. When she's really young. So you know shit, man. Now, I did not know that. Fuck. You know Drake. No, I don't know if it's true or not. I don't know where you said it now and you said it on the podcast. That's why that's what Kendrick Lamar said. That's. Yeah. That's mad. Yeah. We're talking about prenup today.

00:16:46:07 – 00:17:06:02
And this was sent in originally from. So originally the first one was a WhatsApp message from you. Probably about a year ago. You just said prenup. And I was like, okay, I'll add it to the bank. No context, no context whatsoever. I often get those that just a subject. Glad to know. And then that's it for ya.

00:17:06:04 – 00:17:38:04
But so, but then another lad had sent in, an email saying that he's about to get married and he doesn't know or how he should approach a prenup with his partner because he comes from a stock and heritage of lot of money. And it's a thing to kind of keep it in the family almost, which is obviously a fucking really tricky subject to chat about.

00:17:38:07 – 00:17:50:14
Now, before this starts, I want to, preface this podcast with this is not a fucking bro podcast where we're like, man, you need to.

00:17:50:16 – 00:18:26:01
Batten down what you've got. You've brought this to the type bitch. She's mine. They're getting this and all that. Like nothing like that, man. It's a fucking adult conversation, right? Where both sides, any side, they should sell you that because I just. There's a lot of shit that is on my algo from either Insta. Mainly TikTok, where it's like either bro podcast or alpha males to start, you know, of women doing this and women ripping off men and that kind of stuff.

00:18:26:01 – 00:18:45:02
And it's just that may fucking bore off, was I? I know what you're saying. There was this, there was I saw this one where this bloke had bought a house for him and his wife, and they've got a kid, and she's, like, really excited. And then she finds out it's not in her name. It's just in a the bloke's name.

00:18:45:04 – 00:18:59:02
And then she's less excited cause. And he's like, no, no, I bought you a house. And you're like, well, yeah. Have you bought her a house or is she lodging in your house? Yeah. Because.

00:18:59:04 – 00:19:32:06
So, so. And then there was people in the comments. There's a reason why I've been up. It's gone. Yeah, yeah. You done the right thing. Done the right thing. Like this is your money and stuff. It is, I guess. But the the situation, I think if you're moving in together and it's the next step, but you have a kid, then you're doing that as a, as a marriage, I think, I think like the I quite hold weirdly the sanctity of my marriage is maybe, you know, people listen, this guy and you're an idiot, you're a fool.

00:19:32:06 – 00:19:53:24
What might be. But I kind of hold stock in that the everything that me and my wife create together now is belongs to us. It doesn't matter who where the money comes from at this stage. Yeah, I, but it's got your wife to sign a prenup, mate. So you would have them. No no no no no no no no joke.

00:19:54:01 – 00:20:27:16
I say, as mentioned on a previous podcast, I, you know, it's it's obviously a sensitive, topic, and I want to be I want to do it justice. What I will say is that my partner and I, we're not married. We've been together 25 years. I received, inheritance from my grandparents in which I put down a all of the deposit in this property, and the mortgage is in my name.

00:20:27:18 – 00:21:00:10
And, you know, the car and other things and stuff like that, but what's what's mine is hers. Do you know what I mean? Like on a what is she calling it? So it was. Yeah. And so if there is one bit where I let, let me let me add a, which could. Well, so, an Asterix and Asterix in that if she cheated on me and all these, all of this is taken away and I life becomes very difficult, right?

00:21:00:12 – 00:21:35:14
If we split amicably and we just fall out of each love of each other or whatever. She's the mother of my children. I would never want her to go and be homeless or. And let's be honest there, if that did happen, the vast majority of relationships, the children go with them. Yeah. And I wouldn't want to ever put her or my children in a situation where they're living in a unsavory part of town where they and your your in the house just bowling around.

00:21:35:16 – 00:22:02:16
Yeah, naked. Just answering the door naked all the time. Yeah. I would never, Yeah, I wouldn't want to do that. I would never want to, data. And I'd always want to give all of them the best that I possibly can, because I think I would like to think, if I'm an adult about it and the the amount of love I have for my Mrs. that always want her to to have good in her life.

00:22:02:16 – 00:22:10:22
Do you know what I mean? I wouldn't want to be as. So what was it a decision you made?

00:22:10:24 – 00:22:28:02
I haven't rich, you know. I haven't really thought about it. It's not that I went through the process and just put your name on it. It wasn't like a conversation you had. No no, no. We. Yeah. No. You're right. No. No names. No. She. Yeah. She's she is well aware because I do often flaunt it and. Right, right okay.

00:22:28:02 – 00:22:50:15
Yeah. Yeah. You give me that lip again. You're out. All right. Remember. Remember his name's on the mortgage. Right. So there have been a few of those thrown around for for banter. Yeah, yeah. But in my am in my, you know, to get personal again in my will, not everything is, is signed over to her. Yeah. Everything. Yeah.

00:22:50:17 – 00:23:09:01
You will already. Yeah. Well, in case what you can see it by a trucker. Well, you know, may I get a call if I've got brain cancer, you know? Yeah. True. Well, what? But I don't think anyone else would have a claim to your estate. Right? You've got kids and a wife. I mean, have a will.

00:23:09:01 – 00:23:28:22
I mean, by all means. But I think it would just go on to them anyway. Have you have you ever done a. Well, no, I haven't thought about it. And I've got to I have to buy the house and stuff now. So. So I did one of these, online wheels like a template because I don't have estates and it basically it's just whatever happens, this is all goes to my Mrs..

00:23:28:22 – 00:23:49:11
So the questions start out as in, Ricky, if you were to die, what happens to your money? And I'm like right, 100% goes to my partner. Okay. What about if you were traveling in the same car and both of you passed that fucking how much is that? What is that the process. And then I was like, well, I will give it to my children.

00:23:49:14 – 00:24:09:17
This is, this is this software and download just a clicks. It's written down and you can do it online. Yeah. But you know the instances how they're saying it is different. I'm obviously adding a bit of spice. Yeah. Spice. And then it's like, okay, so both of you were in the car. Ricky so where does the money go?

00:24:09:21 – 00:24:29:09
So. Well, obviously it will go to my children. Okay. Okay. What about if you're on a family holiday and you all go down and. Well, that's okay. No, give it a rest, mate. I'm just trying to keep my money away. What are you doing to me? I'm not. I'm not carving it up. Giving it to my mother in law, giving it to my mom, not fuck me.

00:24:29:09 – 00:24:48:19
I just wanted to give my money to them now. And you're asking me these questions? Yeah. So this is afterwards. You do have to confront your the worst part of your existence, don't you? Yes. Or the worst things possible that would break you. You have to do it because some sort of you don't want it to be a bit of a faff after you die.

00:24:48:21 – 00:25:04:15
I thought, not five eight lawyers. Do you let him do the job? I work it out. It'd be fun. Yeah, I do also as well, for my will and what I want for my body and stuff like that. I had to write all that down and put all the notes for that. Are you. Are you going to be a donor?

00:25:04:17 – 00:25:24:19
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Everything goes. Everything must go sale if it's, you know, if pain. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think anyone's going to want that I want that, but that daft as a doorstop. Just make sure it's on your will. Get flat once my pain.

00:25:24:21 – 00:25:31:03
Okay. Stuffed and put it on.

00:25:31:05 – 00:25:53:08
Maybe that'll be, well, funny. So. Yeah. So when you move into your new house, so you have the equity in this house, it belongs. Yeah. Effectively. Right. Yeah. You're going to put it into your new house with your missus whenever. Sure. What, what how does that work? So who's going to be this mortgage then? It will be both both names in the mortgage.

00:25:53:10 – 00:26:22:19
So when we eventually move and yeah. So she if you do you pay the mortgage in its entirety. No, no. Then her name should be on the mortgage. It should be she by rights. Should it. She's paying them part of the mortgage of. Yes, it should be. But when we. So when we apply for it, I want to take with me a proper sensible name should be on the mortgage, and I don't think it should be, because when we applied for it, nothing was calculated off her.

00:26:22:21 – 00:26:41:21
No, no, you would have got the mortgage because of your deposit for sure on your income. But if she's paid into it while living there, like she's paid how much? What? It's not it's not typically paying into the mortgage. It's paying into the bills. Yeah, I think so. That could be anything. So I could say that she's been she's fully paid up for our water bill.

00:26:41:23 – 00:27:06:21
She's paid 000. So if she look it's raising the kids looking after the kids that counts as. Is that. Exactly. So she takes the name should be on the. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. I know, you know, I'm not changing rules just because you're saying, you know, you're like, I don't know why you get defensive.

00:27:06:21 – 00:27:28:10
She's your wife. You just said you'd give it to me. I'm fine with that. I will put it. I'm going to pay it now. It's like as well I'm doing. I'll update my little to get my money off and booze donated to stuff. Yeah. No, I think that all counts towards it. Yeah, yeah. So so so you say you own the house and Rick, and you're going to get married.

00:27:28:11 – 00:27:53:21
You're not actually married, right? No. Which in the name is it to be? You would have, like, say you had that money you inherited whatever it was, say, 20 grand or whatever it was, all right? And you're coming into marriage and, you know, you've got 20 grand. She doesn't have anything. Would you would you insist on a prenup that if you still had 20 grand when you broke up, that she wouldn't get any of that 20 grand?

00:27:53:23 – 00:27:59:08
Would you have that conversation with a,

00:27:59:10 – 00:28:25:06
I think because we've been together for so long that there is this is not a mutual agreement. It's just a feeling, you know? I mean, yeah, of that, a belonging. It's not like we've been going out together for two years and then we're taking that jump together, and and it still could be down the road. Yeah. You know, we split up.

00:28:25:08 – 00:28:47:16
It doesn't matter what involved. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Do you know what actually. Well, while we're talking about this. Yeah. So I still do. You know what. What? When I was going for our emails, I thought was I pissed up? Did I email in myself to Latin on. Okay. So I was always of the opinion that the idea of a prenup is stupid.

00:28:47:18 – 00:29:18:22
If you have no plan to spend the rest of your life together, you should not be getting married. So no prenup needed, right? However, I am currently going through a divorce and my childhood sweetheart and now doing a 180 on that opinion. We met at 16, married and living together in our early 20s. Two beautiful children after that and in my opinion, always imagine just to grow old together.

00:29:18:24 – 00:29:52:03
Everything I had was hers. I never even questioned it. I always earned more than her. The deposit for the deposit for the house came from my side and after our first born, she did not go back to work full time. I saw my role as the provider and was very content of all of this. A year or so ago, she dropped a bombshell on me and told me she no longer had feelings for me and wanted to separate and broke my heart, but I had to accept it in brackets.

00:29:52:05 – 00:30:25:07
I am pleased to report I have moved on myself and met a really awesome new girlfriend. However, now she is a single mum with no earning capacity. As part of the divorce, we are looking at a 15 to 85% split a equity split in her favor. I was living in a three bed semi-detached house with a garden and now looking at a maximum two bed flat for myself and my German Shepherd and daughters on the weekends.

00:30:25:09 – 00:30:39:21
Oh, how I wish I considered a prenup. Now this is really just a heads up for anyone out there thinking of getting married anytime soon. Thank you so much for the pod guys. It has really helped me get through the weeks.

00:30:39:23 – 00:31:01:02
So I mean, it feels like a similar situation to me. Although he's got a German Shepherd, I fucking desperately want a German Shepherd. I haven't got that. Hey, what do you got kids, though? That's the thing. It's not just her. So I say, well, no, I'm talking about him. I'm talking about. Oh, Ross, I say, oh, no, I didn't say you.

00:31:01:02 – 00:31:17:20
I did say you, he's got kids, so he's going to. It's always going to go that way. Like you had the honor and the shame is that she decided he wanted to stay with it this year, and she she wanted to stay. But even if you had a prenup involved, you still have a responsibility to house and pay for the kids.

00:31:17:20 – 00:31:36:12
So I don't think it would have been any different. I don't I think you would have still lost the law because the courts would have decided that whatever that hello, my alimony or whatever your child was like, what was it called in the UK would like? Child is called up. I can't remember what. Up to the top. Yeah.

00:31:36:14 – 00:31:58:14
No like we did that has to pay a certain amount. If they say oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Chart. Yeah I can't right. Yeah. I must have said it about 100 times in my. Anyway, so I think you would have still been in trouble. Me I will not trouble you. Still would have to spend out a load on on your, on your kids anyway, so you will end up losing.

00:31:58:14 – 00:32:18:04
And that's just the what the way is. As soon as you have kids, they become the priority over everything else. And your money would have been divided out that way anyhow. You know what the trouble is, is, like, are you funding a lifestyle for your ex-partner rather than just paying for the kids? Which is can be jarring, but you're never you never know.

00:32:18:06 – 00:32:38:10
You never know. Yeah. And even if you wouldn't have been married, I still think you would like to pay large amounts in child. But child? Child? What is the name of it? It's not child benefit child. No, it's not, in any way in child. Let's get a, let's get a get, you know, in a all day after we finish recording, you know.

00:32:38:10 – 00:33:00:12
No, I can see what you're doing. Flab. Stop looking so naked. Sort of puppies. Appalled by God that God look. So I can't remember the recipe for the kids when they split up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, this I mean, again, for me, it's like, it's a how would you, how do you progress then? How did you progress?

00:33:00:13 – 00:33:38:21
You accelerating. Well, how do you progress as adults as in you have a relationship. Someone is always going to have more money than the other. You're never going to equal, are you? Or if you want to have a specific house size location, someone's always going to have the more money, bigger inheritance, whatever. So it's kind of like that mutual agreement, as in, I am coming into it knowing that this could all go, really, isn't it?

00:33:38:23 – 00:33:55:13
Yeah. I guess I think, like, what are you doing? Like what? Not to. I mean, obviously you haven't got a prenup now, but, I mean, so the situation with us is that I earn more than she does.

00:33:55:15 – 00:34:22:01
But we are buying a house together. Yeah, we are married. She's putting money in. I'm putting money, and I put in more, but it's 5050. Yeah, that's that's that's what I'm talking about is when you're in a marriage, you're not a single person anymore. You are connected couple and everything. You. Oh, in my opinion, everything you earn belongs to both of you as a.

00:34:22:03 – 00:34:38:16
Yeah, I would agree with that. I know I would also say that even if you're not married, but you have children together and you've been together for X amount of time that it's, you know, marriage is just saying that it's it's just title. So I would say it's the same thing. Yeah. Yeah, I would say that. I wouldn't say that.

00:34:38:16 – 00:34:55:08
But there are people out there like the minute you have that conversation was like, okay, well, you know, we are a partnership, but actually this is my money and I own more and more and I'm going to have more money than you're going to have, you know, I'll be able to afford trainers. I'm not trainers, but I know, yeah, some clothes, better clothes than you can afford.

00:34:55:08 – 00:35:19:04
Better clothes like they can't be a disparity in the relationship. That way you can't have one part of that would kill me. The thought of her going without a me going with merely because I earn more money. Yeah. So yeah. No, I would like. It's different if you're if you're coming from loads of money, the next time when you say me, I'm going to have like really expensive Nike trainers and my missus is going to have hollows in her trainers.

00:35:19:09 – 00:35:49:15
Exactly how is it their clothes and I've just bling down like it's like, and if you make that up, well make it make people aware like saying I I've and if it's a constant conversation about how much you're putting in. Yeah that's not a space of a healthy relationship in my in my opinion, if it all goes tits up and we say we don't, we don't split up because one person that's cheated on the other, that's a different conversation altogether.

00:35:49:15 – 00:36:11:16
Prenup so protects you from being, you know, from that, you know, like if you're if you've cheated on someone and hurt them, but you want to keep all your money, you you look like the cunt in that, in that scenario, like, in my opinion. Yeah. But, if it's just like, like the example that you've just explained about a gentleman who've they've just fallen out, they've met when they're 16, it never works.

00:36:11:16 – 00:36:29:19
It never last for the duration of your life. Very rarely. Because you when you're 16, you don't you haven't lived, you haven't, you haven't experienced like I was. I was in a relationship from 18 to 32. By the end, I was desperate to see it and feel anything else. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Fucking chill out on that chat.

00:36:30:00 – 00:36:34:21
But, well, what's going to happen to me, my missus then?

00:36:34:23 – 00:36:51:13
It would have happened by now. You are okay. Thank you. I don't know, I don't know how you done it. Already done. But you have for but but for most people, it doesn't. It doesn't work. And in this instance, you can understand. After two kids from 16, all she knows is this guy. All she knows is him. Yeah.

00:36:51:15 – 00:37:13:22
So much to see and do. So I think, you can understand where she's coming from even though it's come out, unfortunately for this bloke. But what he has to accept, and I'm sure it does, is that you're providing an environment and maintaining an environment that your kids grew up in, and that's going to cost you a lot of money.

00:37:13:24 – 00:37:39:23
Yeah. But I so, yeah, gone. Now you're going to say something. Well, just at the, if you're in the situation my wife is, is that if, if we break up and we sell the house, she will have 50% of it. Even though the deposit, all the deposits, mine, she will have 50% of everything. I'm going to clip this up and send it to her.

00:37:40:00 – 00:38:15:03
It's like, okay, there is the the market. Things have been signed. It doesn't matter what I say, I'll try and do. Legally, she owns 50% of the house and in that house is the deposit. So it doesn't matter. What I say and do is it's hers. When I was having a bit of a scout around about prenup, so like I have no idea what like my in my mind, a prenup is just if you get if you've got a lot of money and you get married, you get them to sign a prenup, and then they can't take your money if things go tits up.

00:38:15:03 – 00:38:42:19
Yeah, that was my understanding of it. That is it, though. Yeah. It is, that is it. But I didn't know that there was other kind of reasons why. Other why people would get prenup. So people get a business prenup. So if you're you and your wife split up, she couldn't take half of your business. Yes. You have to do that either, because it's so,

00:38:42:21 – 00:38:55:20
Yeah. Go on. I'm a company. It my. I'm a company limited. Limited company. So with that, I don't think I might be wrong. Actually, I need to check in to Jesus.

00:38:55:22 – 00:39:11:18
I don't think that the I. It's clearly an individual entity, and I'm a director of it. It's not my business. I am an employee of the company which I also own, which is weird. It's almost like if I rack up that sort, this company. So if I just took out loads of sports card, I could go and get a sports car.

00:39:11:18 – 00:39:32:17
Now you should, you should, should I? Yeah, like a Lamborghini Urus where they could like, you know, you know who's got the most expensive squad, car in the Chelsea squad. Robert Sanchez, the goalkeeper is a shit. His memory paid nearly half 1 million pounds for his car. Anyway, I'd go buy one of those, right, and say I can't make the payments and I just collapse the business.

00:39:32:22 – 00:39:56:04
Personally, I've got. No, I don't have any obligation to make that payment on that car. It's all in the business. Did you still get to keep the car? No, it would be repossessed, but, I thought so, but I could, I shouldn't, I should I take but I could, I could in theory least ten of those cars and then sell them on the black market and then close the business down.

00:39:56:04 – 00:40:24:09
If I don't get caught for that illegal part of selling, the only all the debt is exposed by the company anyway. Actually, why are you saying that? That was another thing that I didn't know that people get prenup for debt. So if we went into, what I said we went into, that was silly. If I got with my Mrs. and I had loads of debt and she would sign a prenup so that if something happened to me, that debt wouldn't be transferred to my interest in.

00:40:24:09 – 00:40:41:06
So, So I didn't know. Yeah, I had no idea. That's pretty good. That's important. So. So if you're married. But people wouldn't think to do that, that you just get with your partner and you'd be so positive I, I, I'm really, really sad. Yeah, I know, by the way, your house has been taken away from you because they owed loads of money.

00:40:41:06 – 00:41:00:20
And you know what? Yeah. It's now all in your name as well. Is that right back? Yeah. Apparently. So, it's, She's. Before she met me, she never even had a credit card. What? Yeah. Not one credit card she never taken. It is a problem. We had to get one so she can build it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:41:00:22 – 00:41:17:06
So we got a credit card, which she used and paid off each month, and, actually, it's better if you keep it, like, 30% the level. That's better for your credit, right? Yeah. So she did that and she bought a pair of, sofas she wanted and paid that off over a two year period. And then the credit rating was really, really, nice.

00:41:17:06 – 00:41:49:20
Yeah, I am obviously inheritance. You would think that. That's fine. Yeah. If someone's got a high net worth, obviously. If I didn't know as well. Significant future earnings. You can get a prenup for that, I guess. If you say so. If you became a. I mean, not that you already aren't, but, Joe Rogan, behemoth podcaster with sponsorships coming out of your ass, you could get your wife to sign a prenup to say, look, this is part of the business thought.

00:41:49:20 – 00:42:11:10
You can't take that away from me when I can't understand that, though, because isn't she investing in you and supporting you as a part of your as your partner? Like, part of the reason why I've been able to build a business is because of the support she gives me. She creates me an environment I can relax in, and if she's a nightmare and says it's not going to work, I need you at home or something like that.

00:42:11:12 – 00:42:31:20
Then then that's a different thing. But it doesn't. He isn't involved in that. Isn't she involved in that? Whatever the the money. Yeah. Yeah, that all of that is true. But money makes us do silly things. If someone then said to me, YouTube say we've got this brand new Rick and we we've got two milly here for a year.

00:42:31:22 – 00:42:50:13
Like, I would think not two Milly like, do I need to protect that? Like, well just imagine like after six months my Mrs. this like it's not working and we're going and you know that YouTube sponsorship half of that's mine. So I'll be like, fuck. You know, I've been working, I've been doing all the video editing. I've been doing all that.

00:42:50:13 – 00:43:15:00
Yeah, I guess I might need to protect that. I don't know, you know, when when it gets to silly amounts of money, you know, we've had a couple of emails in not going to go through all of them, but there have been people that have co owned a car. Their partner couldn't get the credit rating. Yeah. So they said oh I'll do it in my name because I love you.

00:43:15:00 – 00:43:34:23
We're together. You need a car. You need to get to work. And they did it. They split up the car. Still in their name? Yeah. And they the the ex is driving around in that car. You can take that back from them because your name you can. But there's like, I'll pay you. I'll, I'll continue with the payments.

00:43:35:00 – 00:43:54:20
That's fine. Right. We'll leave it at that. Well I've just had a call from Vauxhall and they said the payment isn't got in. Oh. Sorry, babe. Yeah, I meant to tell you about that. You get a couple of those ones, it gets a bit. No, you got to send the bailiff around saying she's driving my car without permission.

00:43:54:22 – 00:44:18:22
Yeah, please. I'll just take it off their drive straight away. Yeah. Wouldn't even keep a spare key now, but it's really nice. It's. This is the mayhem of breaking up. It's the it's what happens. And I echoed what's a one time I would think there would be a night like it. Would it be acceptable if you had, like, family wealth, generational wealth, if like, you know, if I inherited a lot of money from my family, that's nothing to do with them.

00:44:18:22 – 00:44:45:12
That's what my family's done. And any money you have before, and you could argue is nothing to do with them. But any money that you occur when you're together before marriage or afterwards, it's split. That's what. That's how I would go about it. What would you say? You say so. Another one as well. And this is, someone emailed in, but it also, sprung a memory for me from Band of Brothers.

00:44:45:14 – 00:45:12:16
And do you remember when, Louis Nixon, he was away, obviously, during the war. And his wife had written to say that they had split up and she was taking the dog, and he froze his helmet, and she's taking the dog. I think she's taking the dog. I mean, that is that's another thing as well. People split up and they're pets, you know, man's best friend gone lose that as well.

00:45:12:18 – 00:45:43:23
Lose that. So and the last one is, well that someone had written in about is a pre booked holiday. You're in the throes of love. You are fully in there. Let's book. A swanky holiday to Mexico. We go all in five star. That, relationship's dead, but there is still a holiday to go on. Both of both people don't want a budget.

00:45:44:02 – 00:46:02:01
That's my fucking holiday. No, no, that's my holiday. Yeah. And then in the end, this person, they went on the holiday on their own. They were like, I ain't fucking leaving that on the table. I'm going to Mexico and I'm going to enjoy myself. And when I arrive there, those towels on my bed better be in a heart shape, right?

00:46:02:05 – 00:46:20:02
I still want the experience. I paid for it. Yeah. It's my. I like how you go. So what you're saying, you just. If it happens, you have to accept that you're going to take your hit and you just got to move on. Like, how much energy do you want to give to to, to fight in this shit?

00:46:20:04 – 00:46:42:10
Because that's the most valuable thing, in my opinion, is like how much energy you just think, fuck it, your dick or whatever. It might be a reason why you split up. Take the money. That's the thing. I think, like a lot of people wear their relationships and it's hard because you don't really know the context of why they split up in the first place.

00:46:42:12 – 00:47:06:04
But where people split up, it gets nasty, and people use their children as weapons or possessions as weapons or, well, she took the house, so he took the dog and he, you know, and then it becomes bad blood and a massive, battle between two people of what they want to keep and what they want to take and all of that.

00:47:06:06 – 00:47:35:07
And it just totally spoils the the relationship and any anything that's amicable between. And then people just trying to take pot shots and one up each other because they got 70% of the house or whatever. So yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's a hard one. Before we, move on. The voice no, there is one that I want you to play because, this person would kill me if we didn't play it.

00:47:35:13 – 00:47:47:22
And you can see that their their name is written in the file. You got it. So play it now. Yeah. Listen to that. And then,

00:47:47:24 – 00:48:12:21
And you were talking about prenup and stuff and all of that sort of thing, with my house is a thing called Tenants in Common is called, which is where your joint tenants. But your represent what your what you put into the deposit. So I deposit is 40,000, I pay 42. She put in a, prenup if you like.

00:48:12:21 – 00:48:34:24
Is if we sell the place, I get back my 32 and she gets back her I. And then everything else is down the middle. So, yeah, they call that tenants in common. Where are you? You get out. If something is to go tits, then you take out what you put in. Initially, if it was to go tits.

00:48:35:01 – 00:48:53:04
Yeah, that's probably the most sensible way of doing it, but I didn't. I just told you. Yeah. I mean, like, I, I don't think people really think about it. So it's just one of those things that you, you just go in ten toes didn't. Yeah. You're in that relationship. You don't really think it's going to go like that when you go into it.

00:48:53:05 – 00:49:11:07
Don't think right, I'll go for the negatives first and start going through that. Supposed to be the most wonderful time in this conversation. Exactly. Weirdly, I think. And this is why I married her. But she would have gone, okay, if that's what you want, and she wouldn't have kicked up a fuss, but it would have been a difficult I.

00:49:11:07 – 00:49:33:19
But it didn't even enter my mind even to even consider it. Not once. Right. Not even, a smidgen did I think so. No. Same. Yeah. Same. So the dilemmas that we have for this week is about the other one. Got another voice? Oh, yeah. We can play that idea. I thought we were jumping. Nick, I play that is in a good.

00:49:33:21 – 00:49:59:20
Well it's also. Yes. Yeah. Well it's it's similar. It's similar, but play it by ear. You all right, boys? Yeah. I love the pot. Anyway, you made the subject for next week on prenup. Chose not quite prenuptial, but, I, in my younger days, fell in love with a young lady very quickly. Property after, five months of living together.

00:49:59:22 – 00:50:20:14
Together for maybe a year and a half. Like, actually managing to live together in a house. Things were a bit. So, we didn't get on, to the point where, like, I'd put, like, 40,000 pounds of, deposit down on the property. She'd put down 5,000 pounds gifted by our parents. I had to buy her out.

00:50:20:14 – 00:50:47:22
Solicitors got involved. I ended up having to pay 15, thousand pounds more for my property that I had refurbish. So I had rewired it re plumb there. So the value had gone up, over a short period of time. And I also had to live away from, the property for a year while all this went on, she tried to sell the property with another, with another estate agent.

00:50:47:22 – 00:51:09:07
During that time, all of this, Wow. I'm actually in property myself, and I bought the property as, joint tenants, which means that there was a 5050 split. So we're only together for about a year and a half. And all in all, it cost me about 30,000 pounds to buy my own property back. So be careful what you sign up to, boys.

00:51:09:07 – 00:51:13:10
But anyway, love the product.

00:51:13:12 – 00:51:35:20
That's interesting. Yeah, tasty. But you grind just to get back into. And hopefully that must be, Yeah. Don't punt. Yeah, I know it's the. And that's that's the thing what I say and it's just like. And the part where do you think Rick. You could do that if it was me and you like, I know people get like that and you did and you fell out and stuff.

00:51:35:20 – 00:51:52:12
I don't I just don't think I have the energy to do it. But my mum and dad split up and my mum didn't take anything like my dad paid child maintenance. That's what it was. Yes. Yeah. I think my dad paid some child maintenance to a certain to some degree, but it was she just didn't ask for anything.

00:51:52:12 – 00:52:12:17
They never went legally. They didn't have custody. They didn't have to do a legal battle. Well, which was obviously massively grateful for in hindsight. But yeah, I think I'd have to ask my parents about that as well. I don't know, I don't think there was. I think obviously they divorced and they got their pay payout and my mum went by a method when is right.

00:52:12:17 – 00:52:34:08
But again, with child maintenance and all that lot of time, I have no idea if I think it was more a case of I would go, my mum would ring my dad and say he's got a school trip, can you give me X amount? And he would do that. But as in a weekly or monthly, here's some money for clothes there.

00:52:34:08 – 00:52:52:02
Food this that in the oven. I don't think that was a thing. No I to be fair, I did live with my dad during the week. Go and stay with my mum at the weekend just because of school and stuff. And then by the time I left school, I was moving around doing what I want anyway. Well, so you lived between the houses.

00:52:52:02 – 00:53:08:22
So when my mum and dad broke up when I was five, I would spend a week with my mum and a week with my dad, and then rainy day in the first instance when I was little. Yeah, I'd spend a I live with my mum for a week and then live with my dad for a week. But you talking about I don't know how long it lasts.

00:53:08:22 – 00:53:30:14
I've lost my mum, I can't remember. And then eventually my I would stay with my dad during the week and my mum at the weekends, which is rare. But yeah, yeah, I don't want to go into the reasons why that happened. But the that was yeah, that's just how I ended up. Right. Okay. So but so yeah, in terms of the money and stuff, she just, I don't think she ever.

00:53:30:15 – 00:53:49:10
It wasn't even that everything. They just managed the way they managed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, Yeah. And with that, that voicing that then as well we have did he say that his ex tried to sell the house while he didn't know what that meant? Like how you can't sell a house under it. Maybe he maybe.

00:53:49:10 – 00:54:05:08
I mean, I imagine maybe she's like I said, I would love to know, just even if it doesn't make the next pot. But what? What do you mean? She was trying to sell it without you because you both your name's on the deed, so it would be impossible. Legally, it would have been. She wouldn't have announced it. Like having bought bought a house.

00:54:05:10 – 00:54:30:00
There's nothing you can get away with. Everything. It's is insane. And everything needs to be signed by both people and stuff. So. Yeah, exactly. But I don't know, maybe. Yes. Some people just go. That's what I'm saying. These, battles are so in debt. You didn't. You just fucking did match it. Yeah. So the dilemma for this week is called you can't get it.

00:54:30:06 – 00:55:22:09
He can't keep getting away with this. And something only you know is was that meant for me? The topic for next week I'm going to give you a choice. So that is favorite British sayings. Now I get quite a few DM's from Americans of what does this mean? What does it mean when they say this? I see a lot of TikToks of Americans living in the UK where they don't understand different sayings and the different kind of things that we do and say over here, which I absolutely fucking love our culture and the way we say stuff, or a list of the smallest hill you would die on.

00:55:22:11 – 00:55:54:22
So the opinions that you hold that you will never, ever shake. And we will obviously get everybody else. Yeah. Okay. Well Hill they would go. So which one would you I don't mind do either. Probably the second one. Okay. So the topic for next week is the smallest hill you would die on. So that is any opinions that you hold, unshakable that you always believe in the no matter what people say, that is the hill you are willing to die on.

00:55:55:02 – 00:56:10:23
If you could send yours in to lots anon pod at gmail.com and we will read them out. Now on to dilemma.

00:56:11:00 – 00:56:37:09
Oh, so, just you got an issue for a tissue? You're a bit sad cause Penguin placed you aching in your soul alone in your flat. Please talk to Vicky Flanagan. Let that stress off your chest. Well, friend, you deserve to play like you're safe to get nice warm between Vicky your legs.

00:56:37:11 – 00:57:04:04
He can't get away with this. For some context, I'm 20 and studying at uni today. I had an exam and was faced with a moral dilemma. The guy at my left was using his phone during the exam. It's been the second time that this has happened. When I gave my exam. When I gave my exam in and left, I saw the teacher outside the class just waiting there.

00:57:04:06 – 00:57:29:08
I can't lie, I really felt like snatching him right in there and then, but I didn't. Even if this was the moral thing to do, not a single person would have known it was me either. Why can he get a pass while I have to work? I've busted my ass revising, cancel plans of friends and giving my all to passing these exams.

00:57:29:08 – 00:57:52:10
How is it fair that he gets the cheat? It's been weeks and I'm still and it's still playing on my mind. Do I still snitch after all these weeks have passed? Do I snitch after I catch him a third time because there will be a third time? Or do I just go about my business and hope karma will catch up with him?

00:57:52:12 – 00:58:11:18
Yeah, just mind your own business. It's not. Do you? Yeah. Be cheating. No, man. Who cares? So what if there's only one day? All get is. I thought, why do you even care where the karma comes his way? So you will spend all this time walking around with all this negative energy going. Oh, what? I can't stand it, I can't stand, I can't stand it.

00:58:11:20 – 00:58:33:09
That's making you feel bad for nothing. You're literally getting wound up about something that's nothing to do with you. And you're walking around with that negative energy all day. For that, you're choosing the wrong path. Hundred percent. Really? Yeah. Then also, you don't lose. Well, who likes a tattletale? Tattletale? It. In my culture, where you come from, my coach.

00:58:33:09 – 00:58:50:13
He'd never tell you. Never tell. But snitches get stitches. Yeah. I mean, I've never seen anyone get a stitch from being a star, but. Yeah, you don't tell. You don't tell. I think I do say that to my daughters all the time when they're asleep. Did I tell you to relax? Yeah. No, no sneaking out, snitching on each other.

00:58:50:13 – 00:59:13:06
Well, remember the kids who grown up and Chloe would tell on Williams, like, okay, that's fine, but don't. Subtitle, darling. But, yeah, I don't know if it's a healthy thing to say, but yeah, you don't grass on someone, for fuck's sake. No. And what, to play devil's advocate here. What about if they were studying to become doctors? But then they would, I know, get exposed because they don't know the information.

00:59:13:08 – 00:59:37:15
And you reckon cos I what, what point when the doctors. So do you think they just study for doctors and go straight into the patients they like. Yeah. They've watched and everything but. Okay. What about if they, studying to be an archeologist. They don't know the information. They they don't know it. They change the the exams, his past.

00:59:37:15 – 00:59:56:10
They both got there. They both get their little hats where they do the, you know, the tassel thingy, swap it to the other side fro you, scroll up and, and then when they get a job in the world, when they need those skills, then they're exposed, then they lose the job, then they get the comma faking to make it.

00:59:56:11 – 01:00:17:16
Yeah, it also, if that's the way they decide to do it, good on them. They found a way to celebrate it. Like why do you have to care how they've gone about the way they're doing it? Just concentrate yourself for, you know, for clarity, I would not snitch at all, but that would fuck me right off. I would be livid, man.

01:00:17:18 – 01:00:42:19
I'm spending all this time and dedicating my life to whatever I'm sitting. Yeah, and then this person is just getting away scot free. I wouldn't even I'd look it. I wouldn't think twice about it and never think about it again. I would wipe dog shit on their door handle. That's what I would day. Right? Okay. Now going into something only you know why?

01:00:42:21 – 01:00:49:07
Something, You know.

01:00:49:09 – 01:01:16:10
Was that meant for me? A number of years ago, my wife and I were running a church youth group. It was great. We also ran a band. Well, I Mexico called Agarkar. She was Scandinavian. Lovely girl, 14 years old and played the piano. Anyway, I message her about a song we were going to play the following week at church.

01:01:16:12 – 01:01:40:22
Moving forward a few hours. I then got a message from my wife, who I put in my phone as Charlotte. So she is the first in my contacts. Anyway, I replied to my wife when we got chatting. Then Agarkar messaged me. I didn't realize it went straight to her message and I was mid messaging my wife.

01:01:40:24 – 01:02:07:05
Thanks for sex last night. You were great. Same again tonight. Well move forward another couple of hours and I got a reply from Agarkar. Hi, was that meant for me? I read back what I sent to her. My heart sank. No, no, I'm so sorry. I know it wasn't meant for you. Really sorry about that. On the face of it, it was all fine.

01:02:07:10 – 01:02:39:12
But then it dawned on me. Agarkar was in fact blind. She couldn't see her message. Shit. So she. So she must have got a friend or even a teacher to read it. Our. Imagine that Miss Demon reading my message out from the from the youth lead at church. Needless to say, needless to say, I contacted our parents who thankfully were and still are friends, and our vicar who again is a very good friend.

01:02:39:12 – 01:03:05:11
He said, oh beep! What have you done now? Like I make a habit of this all is okay. Lovely girl, mid-twenties now and getting married this coming summer to an old man in fact. And that is something only you know why it was one of the older man, I don't know, I literally would always like, what's that got to do with the, stack up to do this?

01:03:05:13 – 01:03:33:07
It was almost like a, it was like a non-story. But then it wasn't. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Like, he's, that he's been, he's he's annoyed some for some reason that that that she's getting married to an old man, but oh my God. Yeah. I've, I've sent a 30 messages which shouldn't have been sent to people, not in the context of sex or anything like that, but more in the case of asking a question.

01:03:33:07 – 01:03:53:23
And it wasn't supposed to be for that person, which is harmless. I remember when, when we would go out and be out and partying and whatnot, and if you left your phone on the table, the game was that you acts as quickly as possible. Send I love you to as many people in the contacts as possible. But Brother Ryan was so quick in our.

01:03:53:23 – 01:04:16:00
Ryan was the king of that game, right? So think about it. Think about all of the people on your walks, in your contacts and everyone at home, and then randomly through the contacts you would send. I love you to that contact. Right? Yeah. And then obviously, as time passes, the worst people on your contact to receive that message would eventually get it.

01:04:16:00 – 01:04:43:02
And then you spend fucking half an hour trying to explain to people it was just the game. I actually did that right. I did that to a mate of mine when this is going back when I was actually at college doing the A-level graphics, graphic design course, and we were at the time, we were just in a certain group of people, we knew these girls that we were chatting to, and he was pretty friendly with this girl and he went to the toilet.

01:04:43:04 – 01:04:59:07
I grabbed this phone and message this girl, I love you because it was funny and it was a laugh. And he came back in. He received the message back. He looked at me, you guys, what have you fucking done? And he showed me the message and he said, oh my God, I love you too. I thought you'd never.

01:04:59:13 – 01:05:14:13
I thought you'd never say something. And I was like, mate, I was, I was only messaging and he's like, I got to go to work with that girl at 4:00. And I was like, I'm so sorry. Says, I've got a messenger back now and tell her that you fucking send that message and she's come out of there. No.

01:05:14:14 – 01:05:40:00
And I was like, I understand what I've done now. I understand that it's funny. I'm going to walk away from this and it's still your problem. Yeah, exactly. And I, I never meant to do that. Put you in that situation because you just don't think, did you? You just don't bloody think. And on that note, the topic for next week is I've forgotten what I said it was.

01:05:40:02 – 01:05:59:16
What was it? The small hills of time. Yeah. That's something for next week. Smallest hill. You don't send it into large unknown pot. Gmail.com. And until then, we will see you next Monday.

01:05:59:18 – 01:06:23:07
Are the night hazy light band of brothers playing tunes high as quiet midnight waves. Surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm. Here's different ways. Love of music I. We prayed with our tongues in cheek. Banzai! We like to speak and yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers.