#80 | The Internet | The World’s Greatest Invention…

00:00:00:08 – 00:00:18:04
So I have been really stressed out because I don't know, I just have been like, there's been a lot on top and it's mad. What happens to your brain when you stress like turns you into different person? Like my yesterday, my the last two days, my head I've been so stressed out, it's unreal. My my head's really, really sort of fuzzy.

00:00:18:04 – 00:00:38:22
Feel like I had no energy. I just fuckin felt terrible this morning. Full of beans. Woke up. No problems to make it. Like everything's going to be sorted. Everything will be fine. I don't know, this man didn't know how the brain works. Like yesterday. I'm like, this is a mess. Today. I'm like, this is fine. Why is it?

00:00:39:00 – 00:01:01:18
Well, I don't know. Is it? Have you. Have you woken up? What's the weather like where you are? Is it? I wish food is beautiful. Was. It was like 19 degrees sunny. It was absolutely beautiful. I woke, I had a good night's sleep. That probably helped. So I got my I got my I'm a slave to the Samsung watch.

00:01:01:20 – 00:01:21:24
Yeah. You, you are you a slave to. Well my Fitbit. Yeah. You got a Fitbit. All right. Same thing. Yeah. Yeah. So I sometimes I get into sort of passive aggressive disagreements with my ex, with my smartwatch, with my Samsung. Right. Yeah. But then the other day, I woke up and I was like, I feel like I was a good sleep.

00:01:22:00 – 00:01:47:10
Better check. Bad check on the fair. What do you mean, fucking fair? Up in in bed. Things are past ten. It's 6:45 in the morning. That's loads of sleep. What do you mean, fucking fair? They are. You check it. They check the slave. What do you mean, fair, man? I'm should be. That should be an excellent sleep to put me in a I started and it put me in a bad mood because I'm like, you tell me I'm fair.

00:01:47:16 – 00:02:03:24
And then it went. You better up your steps because that was shit yesterday, more or less. It said to me, really? Yeah. It says you need to up your exercise and you consider improving your exercise. Don't tell me what to fucking consider. You can't. You're an inanimate object. I am full of emotion. All right. You so right. You going?

00:02:03:24 – 00:02:20:20
You don't know what my day was like yesterday. It was tough. I do a lot of work on sedentary sitting in front of the fucking screen. And the Samsung watch is telling me, oh, you need to up your game a little bit. You fucking know. Would you, would you like it if your watch was a bit punchy?

00:02:20:22 – 00:02:38:07
Do you know? I mean, he's like it says, coughing so fucking. You get stuck then. Yeah. Oh. Well, Oh, I feel I am like that. Anyway, it doesn't insult me in that way, and I wouldn't mind if it did, because it almost like there's a comedy to this. This is holding up a mirror to me. This is saying you need to do this.

00:02:38:09 – 00:02:58:14
You need to sort yourself out. And it is it is kind of like, good for that because it hold you accountable. You watch hold you fucking accountable, but also you start thinking, fuck you, fuck you, watch. Well, how about you? Yeah, give me a break. Give me a break. Cause you don't know what my day has been like.

00:02:58:17 – 00:03:14:17
And you don't know what stresses I'm going through. You don't know about the house. You don't know about the operation. You don't know about the dog going to the vet and having having to see a specialist and not knowing whether or not the insurance is going to cover the procedures that cost the thousands and thousands of pounds. You don't know about that shit.

00:03:14:19 – 00:03:37:21
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all need is you. Sleep was fair. You think up you step down. So, Rick, the other day, I was falling asleep. Last one a little bit difficult to fall asleep because of all these stresses. Yeah, I can imagine. You know, I did it. I took the watch off. I said, you ain't getting married.

00:03:37:21 – 00:04:00:12
It's not, you know, having it. That's good. Yeah. Took it off. You know, we counted as a pause. Night sleep because I had been asleep in and out for a couple of hours. It turns out that I think it's doing stuff just to Raleigh. You know, I wouldn't mind if it like knowing in good, the good intentions if my Fitbit was a bit not racist to me.

00:04:00:13 – 00:04:20:09
Yeah. You like that? Yeah. To give me that motivation to give me that dog. Give me that. Don't give me that motivation, that drive. I'll fucking show, you know, I'll go out and I walk 20,000 steps, but really, I won't put my calories in that. Well, I will, but less calories. I've just eaten a mini baby though. Like all day.

00:04:20:09 – 00:04:46:20
That's it. Like, what's his name? Christy and I would just get a can of tuna all day when he was both. Yeah. No, it's just it's filled up, genius. When he turned into an anorexic. Yeah, I'll just do that with Mini baby, though. Yeah. You know, so you ever look at you, if you ever look at your Fitbit after you've, after you've been on the job, you've, I once had a night.

00:04:46:22 – 00:05:17:01
Been intimate with, with the wife. Yeah, of course it was. It's a good exercise. It's good at aerobic, area. And the anaerobic. What is it? Anaerobic. Anaerobic exercise. Yeah, yeah. I am only 25 calories. Basically burnt. That's it. The next morning. I have been known to check my heart rate on my Fitbit. And then I see that light at half 12 at night.

00:05:17:03 – 00:05:39:14
Go see yellow, then it goes into red. I'm light. Right. What are you doing? Let's fucking go. Knowing full well what you were doing. No, what I was doing, I didn't think,

00:05:39:16 – 00:05:51:04
It would see.

00:05:51:06 – 00:06:17:08
The night. Hazy light. Band of brothers playing tunes high is quite midnight. Waves surfing through till daylight breaks rhythm. Here's different ways. Love of music. So I we prayed with our tongues in cheek band as I we like to speak and yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise.

00:06:17:10 – 00:06:40:20
Hello and welcome to lads anonymous is episode 80. I'm Ricky. He's for have two best mates. One main topic we answer your life dilemmas and confessions and our feature something only you and I. And everything remains anonymous. Always. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast. How are you? How are you feeling? Apart from the. The stresses, all the things, for the dresses.

00:06:40:20 – 00:07:05:06
Yeah. I feel really good this morning. Got up, about 6:30 and, And walked the dog for a bit, so got about 6000 steps in, according to the watch. You up at half six this morning. You went for. I always, always wake up around that. Anyway, my body just wakes me up about half six and G. And you always take the dog for a walk at that time like, no, no, no, not enjoying the winter because it's fucking freezing cold and dark.

00:07:05:06 – 00:07:28:13
But this time of year. Beautiful, right? So it's like the sun's coming up. Yeah, mate. This listen to this. For an ideal dog. Dog walk. Sun was up. No one was round chirping of the birds to my right. Lambs. Oh yes. Lambs. Yeah yeah yeah. Little lambs. Good. Beaten be. Yeah. And frolicking. They're frolicking where they. Yeah.

00:07:28:13 – 00:07:43:10
They're rolling around of each other. Does Frank have a go over and chase him or anything. Not really. No. No he would I mean if he was off his lead and I let him out, he would he would definitely go over. And if they would run, he would chase. Yeah. For sure. When you go a long walks, you keep him on the lead still.

00:07:43:10 – 00:08:04:10
Yeah. Yeah. Oh look, I've told you I bet this is where my big bugbear is people have their dogs off their leads if they don't have any recall which if you, if you can control your dog, take them off the lead. It's up to you if you cannot, if your dog does not come back to you, which is 90%, the dogs won't come back to you immediately if you call them because they don't want to come back to you.

00:08:04:10 – 00:08:27:24
They want to run. They want to see another dog. What is that? Yeah, but well-trained dogs do. They come back immediately. Right. And there's a whole discussion about whether or not a dog that is hyper trained is a happy dog. Some people believe it is that that dogs are who, who react immediately to every, demand is a happy dog.

00:08:28:01 – 00:08:53:05
Other people say it's two straight, and the dog isn't able to be the kind of dog it wants to be, right? So what is that thing now? People. People believe people are not campaigning. I guess I'm in. I'm not in this dog world, you know? Yeah, there's some parts that. No. So some people like a dog that it that stays by your heel and walks by your heel and doesn't leave your heel for fear of being scolded.

00:08:53:07 – 00:09:13:19
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some people believe that isn't a how a dog should be trained to that degree. Like it's like a military trained dog. Right. Well, how I would like to have a dog. Yeah. German Shepherd and I walk and I go up and it would just stop and sit down. Yeah. How many people say the dog is walk along perfectly happy because understands its role in the pack and it's right.

00:09:13:22 – 00:09:34:23
So, but it requires, it requires a lot of work and effort to get a dog to behave that way. But there are some certain breeds that that can do it. But you're talking daily training for probably an hour at a time, and then eventually they'll get by going out the box like, no, you're I spoke to your wife about this and she said she wants pre-trained dog.

00:09:34:23 – 00:09:38:22
And I was like, I don't even know what that is.

00:09:38:24 – 00:09:58:02
I well, I don't want a puppy. I want a pre-trained dog. Yeah, but you might be able to get one. I don't know, but I did Google it. And apparently there are dogs that have been sort of trained for like toilet training than so that you can buy if there is as a first dog, it's not a bad shout, but you're not learning a great deal.

00:09:58:04 – 00:10:22:20
No, I would like to do the training myself. Really? Yeah. Yeah, I would like to build that rapport with said dog. So I said, Franks I franks pretty well trained, I would say. Like he does come back when you call him. Not straight away, but he takes a moment's pause and then he will come back if he's distracted by a deer or something like that, and I don't call him, I'll lose.

00:10:22:20 – 00:10:41:11
It will go. But if I if there is a battle between me and the deer and he can hear me shout, shouting at him to come back if he doesn't go. So in my experience, or I wouldn't trust, I would not trust him at all. And that's the thing is, no one. You should always be under the impression that your dog isn't to be trusted.

00:10:41:13 – 00:11:06:08
Like if your dog is with a baby, just assume it's not to be trusted. But your dog may never have been bitten. Anybody. Just assume that it will. So just be wary of it. That's what you do. There's people that just think that's fine. That's a that's a really good outlook to have. You know, because I know I know this from having, two children that were, I'd like to say petrified of dogs, but is there something that's a step further than they were.

00:11:06:09 – 00:11:38:16
They were very scared. And they and they have been for years and they are, a whole heap better now. And they can be around dogs and, you know, they're fine. That's they want dogs now. But, there's so many people that just walk and dine up their dogs and leads. And Peter is fine. He's just happy. He's just this and it's jumping up at my kids, and my kids have, like, literally climbed up my body, know because they are so scared and they just throw it across roads and they do this and do that and it's that fucking them.

00:11:38:16 – 00:11:55:03
And that's not that's not a dog that's under control. No. So it's there's a couple of issues. A dog can get hit by a car. The dog scaring your kids. Also worse off is your dog. My approach. My dog. My dog might not like your dog. My legs on a lead, the control. Your dog is not on your under control.

00:11:55:05 – 00:12:15:16
If my dog. If your dog gets in my dog space and he decides I don't like this and bites your dog, you're going to blame me because staff are considered to be dangerous dogs. When my dog is under control on the lead, that's what fucks me off. Yeah, you shouldn't have a dangerous dog. Your dog. You have no control over your dog.

00:12:15:16 – 00:12:38:05
Your dog doesn't give a shit about you in this moment. Anyway, if you were angry about it, I don't know, I don't know, I was so alarmed. And I saw bunny rabbits this morning. That's beautiful. Yeah, that is good. I mean, I go when I because I walk my kids to the bus stop every morning 7:30, and I carry on that walk for an hour.

00:12:38:07 – 00:13:01:18
And I walk down the river and canal and it's just as, you know, the sun's rising and you can hear the birds chirping, hear the the water from the river running and just, it's it's my favorite time early in the morning as I'm going for a ball about. It's absolutely beautiful. Today's topic is the internet.

00:13:01:20 – 00:13:25:17
So it's, you know, we're just going to have a chat about the internet. Really? To the internet? It's my favorite place. It really is my favorite place, actually. I think, like, let's just not just going to get into it. Right on. When I first met you, I thought I was an internet guy. I like the internet.

00:13:25:19 – 00:13:50:24
I went on the internet, I looked at stuff on the internet. And what what are you going to do? What are you getting? No, but you showed me what memes were, and like, viral videos, and I didn't. I saw that shit before, mate. Fucking the woman trade, you know, the grapes and falls off. You know that one lady right here,

00:13:51:01 – 00:13:53:06
Yeah.

00:13:53:08 – 00:14:19:04
Mate, I want to I want to play that. But you going, right? Yeah, all stuff like that I wasn't really aware of, like, meme culture and viral videos and stuff. Like when was Myspace, when was this so that. So. Well, that would have been like the 2000 and 607. Ricky. That's not true, right? Because we met each other on a message board.

00:14:19:04 – 00:14:37:03
You would have seen all this shit. Yeah, yeah, we met each other on a message board. Right? But you go on to a message board and you, you just post stuff on a message board, like we had things that we would laugh at on the message board, but it was the whole culture around these different things which I didn't really get.

00:14:37:05 – 00:14:56:10
And it's buckets are filled with shut your mouth off. I found Great Lady Fools original video I get. I wonder how many people listen to this or remember this just by the sound. Because if you if you know what it is to sound, your mind would do the rest. What kind of grit? These are filled with shameless and gripes.

00:14:56:10 – 00:15:27:09
And the winner this Saturday has some music eating international foods, having wine tours and tastings, vineyard tours, seminars, arts and crafts. It's a lot of fun. A whole day stop. Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow I can't breathe. Ow ow ow ow ow. I think she's actually hurt.

00:15:27:09 – 00:15:53:15
No, I think she is hurt. She took a hard fought, actually hurt. She's harmful. She's actually hurt. The thing is, is she is because she cheats. That's what makes it. Oh, the funny is you go stop some stuff, and he tries to carry on driving. She falls off as, And there and then she goes, stop, stop. It hurts, it hurts.

00:15:53:17 – 00:16:13:22
So there's stuff like that right now I hadn't really seen and that you would show me. And I was like, fuck, I didn't know that that existed. So you were quite, I don't know. I spent more time on the internet than maybe even now. Like, you know, about different places in and Reddit. You caught down with the Reddit crew?

00:16:13:24 – 00:16:35:10
I'm not greedy, you know what I mean? I mean, you are, like, a bit more internet, okay? Aware than me, right? Yeah. That's true. TikTok at worst is he knows the word in the street on TikTok. Yeah, I'd spend a lot of time. Yeah, that's been a long time on TikTok. Right. Okay. Who's used the dark web?

00:16:35:12 – 00:16:57:20
I'll be the thought of like, oh no, I haven't. I've never used it. You can't get until it right it hahahahaha. This is what I'm talking about, that you're more of an internet a guy than, than me. And I love the internet. I mean, fair enough. I love the internet. Yeah. So what it do I tell you right where it comes from?

00:16:57:22 – 00:17:15:00
Well, gone, because I kind of found out about it. So I used to go to a youth media project called exposure, which I then worked for. Right. Yeah. And they had the internet and they had computers. And I was always interested in computers and stuff that you're doing and it at home at that point. So not at that point.

00:17:15:00 – 00:17:41:23
There was this was you didn't have the internet. So we but then there were internet clubs. So I used to go to an internet club. Right. So it was cool. Tottenham Hale Technology Club, something like that. That's pretty geeky, right? Fucking hell. Maybe I need a guess to go there so I don't even. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Also, I can I say yes, I yeah, gun.

00:17:42:00 – 00:17:45:07
My first and last.

00:17:45:08 – 00:17:48:08
Woman of color.

00:17:48:10 – 00:18:11:22
Wow. Really? What is that? Is that worth saying? It's not racist. It's just mentioned that, is it? No, no, not at all. No no no no no no no I mean like in the first and last like their flavor. No. Yeah. Did DJ yeah. No I don't discriminate in that way. Oh we were supposed to do our favorite races in terms of fancy.

00:18:11:24 – 00:18:30:14
My favorite. Like is it racist to not fancy a certain race? But we do that another time. But then another time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah. So. So back then, no one had the internet, right? It wasn't a common thing in the home. So would have these, this place where we had go. So exposure. So it was a youth media charity, right.

00:18:30:14 – 00:18:50:23
So we used to work with kids who were interested in a career in the media, and we'd work with kids who struggled at school. So this was a different environment for them to learning. And, so the internet was important. It's important to know what it wasn't and what advantages there were going to be there. So what what we went was this room full of computers that were connected to the internet.

00:18:51:00 – 00:19:11:04
They weren't. Yeah, it weren't at home. It was just in these internet. It was like an internet club. But also they had these you had internet cafes then because the internet wasn't a home. May I remember like in Crouch End when I lived in Crouch and I didn't have a printer and I'd regularly be in the internet cafe opposite the Hope and anchor.

00:19:11:04 – 00:19:31:11
That's what I had. It's fucking weird thinking about that. I'm in a like, cafe where there's loads of computers. I normally it's it's just like loads of people that look like me just. They're people of color. Just. They're. We're all on the internet. I don't know why we're all there. There's a whole array of colors chatting to relatives.

00:19:31:15 – 00:19:56:00
We're all on the inside. They were all there. Yeah, I know, it's fucking weird, man, that I'd have to go to a place to log on to check my Hotmail account. Yeah, I'm looking wild, man. So I mate, that's another thing we have to talk about. You and your fucking accounts that I'm just coming around to your place to check my accounts on the internet.

00:19:56:01 – 00:20:16:15
I'm coming around the earth to use the internet, and you can run. Your dad set out to use his. So you see. So what people won't know, right? Is there was a family computer back then, right? Yeah. So I was lucky enough because I was so interested in computers. Right. And I was interested in.

00:20:16:17 – 00:20:32:24
I used to write, so I used to write for like I said, this exposed that. So exposure was a massive part of my life back then. So they used to publish a magazine. Nice to write monthly for this magazine every month and write various different things. And and I wanted a career in journalism and communication of some sort.

00:20:33:01 – 00:20:54:00
So I would write about things, and my dad and my mum and my granddad got together and they knew that I needed a computer even back then. So they bought me a Packard Bell computer. I was like, oh, my mind was blown when when it was the best Christmas present I ever had. Like when my dad hid it in my house and they took me upstairs to the top bedroom of mine.

00:20:54:00 – 00:21:22:23
And you remember my my dad's, my house. They were not narrow and tall houses. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was a computer on the bed up there and I was Oh my God. Like, I was, I think I cried, I was like, so yeah. So I had a computer in my room, so, but at 16 and 17, which would have been rare then, and shortly after I connected to the internet, I had exactly the same thing where my mum had bought me.

00:21:22:23 – 00:21:55:11
I maybe it's a Hewlett Packard. I can't quite remember what computer it was. Big tower, even fucking bigger monitor. And, we, I had the computer in my room and I was like, it was like, new as well. So I knew it was expensive and it was mine. Unreal. I remember I opened in the fresh out the box, pulling back the, you know, the big blocks of polystyrene and see that beautiful big tower and the one, and then the, the, shimmering silver disk.

00:21:55:11 – 00:22:25:17
What was it in 94 or something? My son is an encyclopedia on. Yeah. It's incredible. It was incredible. Absolutely loved it. And, we so the computer was upstairs. And to connect to the internet, you would have to have that running Ethernet line from your computer, to the back of it to the, phone line, which was downstairs.

00:22:25:17 – 00:22:51:23
So there's always this fucking cable going up the stairs. Yeah. And back in the day, because there was only you have one landline to a house, you could even use it for your landline phone or for the internet. So you couldn't if your mum was on the phone to your aunt, you couldn't then use the internet. Or if you were on the internet, you'd have to get off the internet for your family to call you whatever.

00:22:52:00 – 00:23:13:14
And you couldn't be on the internet too long because you might be missing calls. So there is always this weird dynamic of, I wanted to be on the internet. I wanted to see what's fucking going on. If there's been any updates on In car. But back in the day, there was the the boom of downloading files, weren't there?

00:23:13:20 – 00:23:34:22
When I want files, there was images. So I mean, you mean like when I LimeWire and stuff like that LimeWire there's one came later Theresa for me it came so yeah. Yeah yeah all of that that came. Yeah when I got the chair. Yeah. When I got the internet that wasn't common. That stuff I was like earlier. Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

00:23:34:22 – 00:23:51:15
That was, that was a little, a little bit late. So I, I was aware that I'd have to ring me out my dad and go got on the internet. Got on the internet what you did on the internet. Homework. I wasn't, I was downloading as many pictures of tits as I could. Yeah that's right, that's right. Yeah.

00:23:51:19 – 00:24:31:23
So I my, my very first, rendezvous with the pornography on the internet. I've never actually told this story ever on an any podcast, because it's really hard to kind of pick the right moment. Well, I have I don't even know about this podcast. No. Exactly. So go on. And so when you, downloading stuff. Right, you would especially back in the day where it was either LimeWire or whatever it was the file wouldn't download, as in it would go from the start to the finish, like the timeline would start to finish.

00:24:32:04 – 00:25:00:12
It would do it in in different stages, in different. It was like non non-linear, basically any way you wanted. And I knew that obviously I could, I could sell it for porn, but it would take ages like hours to download these video for hours, fucking hours, even days almost. And I could never find a video that was at a right length because it was always like full porn.

00:25:00:12 – 00:25:20:18
Didn't want full porn, just wanted a little bit of porn. And because I knew my mum would tweak like sorry, tweak as to be like, what's fucking going on there? And obviously you're downloading porn and you're in, you know, my, my sisters and my mum said, I don't want anyone to know, but you see the point? You need it.

00:25:20:19 – 00:25:42:05
Yeah, you need it. You gotta go for it. You know you've got a fortune five. It's a brave show. You go into LimeWire and you just type in porn and whatever the first title comes out at. Yeah. And it was like, I don't know, 80 hot steaming clips of. And I didn't know what it was, just double click and then click out of something.

00:25:42:11 – 00:26:01:09
So I knew. And then when I looked at LimeWire, I could see the beginning of the title, 80 clips of hot steamy, and it was starting to download. I was like, fucking is happening, it's happening. So then and then it came up and it was like 14 hours to go and I'm gonna fuck you now. I'm on 14 hours.

00:26:01:10 – 00:26:21:12
This three minute clip. What am I gonna do? So I let it run, I let it run. And I come up to nighttime and I still wanted it. So I just switched the monitor off. And my mum came in my room at night. Oh, good night, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Good night. She's. The computer's still on. No, I can hear it.

00:26:21:14 – 00:26:37:03
Yeah. No, no, no, it is a let me, let me just. And she was like the finger was around the monitor button. She was going to press it and it was going to be the timeline of me downloading this porn as fuck, man. What am I going to do? It's doing an update. What? It's doing an update.

00:26:37:03 – 00:26:54:18
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got leave on an update, so we'll get the internet plugged in as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I left it, left it plugged in. So cool. You had. No it's. Yeah. And I was going to call at night. No one's going to call. No one's going to call. It's fine. And they made me and I was like it was a granny with an emergency passed away during the night.

00:26:54:20 – 00:27:14:22
My phone is more, you know, more important. Wake up in the morning, press the monitor button alerts. And I said, file complete. And I was like, oh my God, I can't wait to fucking get stuck into that. I don't even know what it is. And I have to wait until I got home from school. And then mum's out, sisters out.

00:27:14:24 – 00:27:33:05
I clicked on it and it was like 80 clips of hot and steamy cum shots and I was like, right, okay, I can get what I can get on with that. My, it's just anything, anything that's happening. I'm lucky it wasn't like gay porn because it would have been wasted. I probably still would have had a guy, you know, anything.

00:27:33:05 – 00:28:00:03
Just, I said, like, 16 year old boy. But then I remember playing it, and it was really fast. I know, I mean, really fast clips. Just of the money shot. That was it. No build up, money shots. That was it. And the backing track was chemical. Probably just out of control, out of control. Defeated it it it it it it it it it it did it did it right.

00:28:00:09 – 00:28:24:03
And how it was done. Right. All I can remember is, yeah, I just all these poor ladies getting splattered. And I was like, fuck, you know, this is wild, man. I was like, as a 16 year old and I can only describe it is do you remember in the film Inglorious Bastards? Yeah. And there is a scene where they're in the cinema and they're celebrating this.

00:28:24:03 – 00:28:50:09
I think it's a German sniper, and they're showing this film of how many people was killed. And it goes into this kind of slapstick moment where, he's shooting so many people. It's like synchronized swimmers, but they're synchronized dying and they're all falling out of balconies, and they're all kind of going together. Now, this porn video was just like women just coming out of water and just splattered and then just walking down the road getting splattered.

00:28:50:09 – 00:29:11:10
And I was just like, it's like it was like almost. It was like she strobe light of Jesus. And I was like, this, that. So that was my first class for, I don't know, any video porn. Imagine if you was epileptic. Oh, me. And that's what got you. Yeah, I still got it. And then someone come into the room and that's just plain.

00:29:11:10 – 00:29:25:05
And then got my mum. They got my sister. Everyone just I mean epileptic fits because this video was in the background. Had a control do do do do do do do do do do do do.

00:29:25:07 – 00:29:50:15
Is about fucking that's been and that's been deep within me for years. I as date with women just wanted to I just didn't know where to is where I look at it. And every time I hear that always comes in my place. Always makes me smile, gives me a little grin. Can I, someone might have just heard I was sort of browsing as you were talking there, and,

00:29:50:20 – 00:30:09:24
Yeah, there's a space. There's a website called space. Hey. Which is like a nostalgic look back at my space. And I clicked on one of the profiles, an the example of the profile, and I forgot that you would have music playing on your Myspace, didn't you? You'd have, like, a landing page music, which I love because you're like, I like this.

00:30:10:01 – 00:30:30:17
You would have a basis, right? And I would choose something like, this is for me, this is important because this is this says something about me. Somebody to choose. Yeah. For sure. Do you remember my Myspace URL? You may remember it as reason you'll remember it once I've said it so quite a lot. Be it was it Bambaataa number?

00:30:30:19 – 00:30:41:23
You know, it was just Bambaataa upon.

00:30:42:00 – 00:31:08:16
It was just puff puff. But Bombardier anyway, it was my fantasy league team. Yeah, it was, it was, It's amazing. Yeah, it was just MySpace.com forward slash bamba. So I remember, like, the time when you checked into Bird's Eye, you got Myspace. I was like, yeah. What's your early? Oh, so it's myspace.com/bamba. Well, sort of Bamba.

00:31:08:19 – 00:31:31:04
What's yours MySpace.com folks are Sarah H. That's my name. So I had one yet again. So again, I know you've got some Myspace story because I've got something. I can tell you something, though. No, you ain't gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So my story that my something only I know for this is, So that that's something you had your own.

00:31:31:04 – 00:31:57:08
Something I know, I know didn't knock the thing, but no, no fucking no. So I've got one. Well, it's not someone else knows this. So before I met my girlfriend, I had a computer, and I used that, I had, I would download pictures, an MPEG, so it wasn't a three minute video. I was like, I didn't even know they existed, right?

00:31:57:09 – 00:32:18:17
To be honest. Yeah. So I had three sessions of the same sex scene over playing over and over and over again. And I did not want out to. That goes because you have sex with it. So. So yeah. Anyway, I set them in a folder or on, on a floppy disk and put it in my drawer. Anyway, I got a girlfriend and forgot about that floppy release pretty much.

00:32:18:19 – 00:32:44:12
Anyway, Sue those who were at work or something, and she'd gone down my drawers and obviously found the floppy disk and put it in to see what was on it, and found this MPEG full of pictures of, tits and yeah, an orgy and other stuff. I can't remember what was under the. She went, she went crazy. She's pretty.

00:32:44:12 – 00:33:11:00
She left me. Wouldn't speak to me. Oh my God. Yeah. This is my ex-girlfriend. This is the one uni. What? Really? Yeah. So we bear in mind we were like 17, 18 then, and she hadn't she come from a house where pornography wasn't prevalent? Pornography wasn't prevalent in my house. He objects over the kitchen drawer to get a knife and fork it out that you visit.

00:33:11:02 – 00:33:37:18
I wonder where that was go? No, but my, My old man, I did find my old man's stash. And for the internet, which was like the greatest day. Holy grail. Yeah. So what? Seeing things. I'd seen things, where she had never. And so she. She left me and all that. She just thought it was crazy, and I was kind of blamed it on a brother.

00:33:37:20 – 00:33:55:08
That's nice. It will draw some my. Oh, as I got older, I had my own stash and my little brother, I told my little brother where it was, and then my mum found it. And then he blamed me immediately.

00:33:55:10 – 00:33:59:03
He blamed me immediately.

00:33:59:05 – 00:34:19:15
Gary's a straight away, Gary straight away. Right. Good. Yeah. Good. So yeah, that was my one I've never spoken about. I don't know that it's embarrassing, but she just she was like, no, like. And this is what the internet has done is it's brought porn to everybody. Yeah. In a, in a significant way. Like when we were growing up, it was a crusade, a pilgrimage to.

00:34:19:16 – 00:34:36:17
It's almost like, you know, they moved in the north London derby to Hong Kong. Yeah, yeah, that we had to work for porn back then if we wanted to see a North London derby. Yeah. It's like someone in Hong Kong traveling to the UK to watch Bears Mercy's arsenal. Yeah, yeah. You got to do the graph. Find it with find.

00:34:36:18 – 00:34:47:02
It was the only way had the internet. And it's like everywhere. Like weirdly I tried to think the things my son and daughter have seen already.

00:34:47:04 – 00:35:21:05
Yeah. Oh it's yeah that is you got, you've got parental locks of you know, not you're crazy Rick. I mean, the thing is, I know I mean, it is it's part of it is crazy, but part of it is, self-discovery and learning. Yeah. They're not like they won't find a way around it anyway. No, no. And I don't want them to be in a situation where they are frightened because they don't know of the human body or they don't know of a certain thing.

00:35:21:11 – 00:35:49:06
I remember, I, I mean, this is taking a bit of a left out now, but I remember as a, you know, 13, 14 year old boy and being terrified of fingering someone because I knew, like, in my mind, you know, vagina virgin. Oh Virgin got vagina. Hell yeah. And you got bombed out. Yeah. And I was there in the park and someone said, no, no, no, no, this free house.

00:35:49:08 – 00:36:06:22
So what? Yeah, yeah. This is one way they way out of this. The whole for babies and sex and then this bomb. How this free house. And in my mind, I was, like, in turmoil. How do I know which one I'm going in? Like, well, what do I do? How do I know when I'm going down there? Like which, where, which how will it look?

00:36:06:22 – 00:36:34:10
Anything like that? So I'm kind of glad that there is this, access to stuff. And I don't think though, like, be going and searching out hardcore pornography or anything like that, but I think that there's probably enough out there that they know anatomy, they know what things look like and stuff like that they've seen, especially your older daughter has seen all kinds.

00:36:34:12 – 00:36:52:08
They're not talking about at school. Of course they are. Yeah. I mean, I do walk around the house naked as well, often just walk in. About what? In what way? Like, this is my house. I'll do what I want. Kind of. I treat it well. I'm like my bedroom has the en suite and everyone seems to want to sit in that.

00:36:52:10 – 00:37:10:12
And the. Oh, I see, so you're in your room and they rub it on in my room and you're. You're in my room. Yeah, but with that, I need to know. I'm. I'd be surprised if your oldest daughter doesn't know what Pornhub is. Oh, she does. She will do so if she knows what I will. All kinds of mental shits on there.

00:37:10:14 – 00:37:32:18
I think what we need to do is we need to get back on track of some internet chat. Because I really don't want to talk about this with knowing my daughter knows what Pornhub is and going into what she's saying and what she hasn't seen. And it's just I think she's 13. And I remember at 13 what I was doing.

00:37:32:20 – 00:37:41:22
So yeah, I was rubbing this little genie lamp down here.

00:37:41:24 – 00:37:59:19
But just all right to get back on track. The, I've just found my actual computer. Which of which? I first access the internet on eBay. I've just sent you a picture. It's my exact computer I had, which is very interesting for people at home, but that's where, you know, I used to access the internet on that computer.

00:37:59:19 – 00:38:23:05
Right? So you loved it. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, I wonder if there's people out there that listen to this part that have no idea of, like, a tower PC, like my kids. I know, you know, with no one. No. Probably no. They will have like, iPads at school and stuff like that. Yeah.

00:38:23:10 – 00:38:43:21
It's just like, it's completely. So you get like a floppy disk, VHS type, like my kids. I don't think they they would have seen any of that stuff. It's fun. It's fun to show it. I sometimes show the kids stuff from my youth and go, do you know what that is? And they're like, no, like a pager. No idea.

00:38:43:24 – 00:39:04:02
I don't know what that is. Yeah, I've seen a video where, a dad gets out a, you know, the old hand, handheld telephones. We put your finger in and you spin the dial. Yeah. And they said, I want you to call this number. And he gave them the number, thereby looking. They're like a caveman. Okay. I have no idea how this thing works.

00:39:04:04 – 00:39:27:15
And mad. Absolutely, man. So funny. Then I remembered something, right? I don't know if you. So I talking about stuff that is the dark web, right? I love it, I like that dog. Got the dark web now. My first kind of.

00:39:27:17 – 00:39:56:19
You know, experience. If something like the dark web. Do you remember there was a thing called, The Jolly Rogers Cookbook? Now, the Jolly Rogers Cookbook. It was a floppy disk. It was like a banned cookbook that told you all the worst stuff in the world. So how to make bombs, how to hotwire a car, how to make fertilizer bombs, how to do x, y, z, all the crazy shit.

00:39:56:19 – 00:40:16:17
Right? So it was banned everywhere, obviously. And I got a copy on floppy disk from someone, and I was like, this is fucking quality. And I was going for all these different things. On how to I mean, obviously I'm going to make a bomb, but just trying to find something that I could do so that I could be naughty.

00:40:16:19 – 00:40:44:03
And I learned how to from this jolly Roger cook. I learned how to hotwire a car. And I remember I was 14 and I went out with my mates walking down this road, and we found a like it was like an abandoned van. And I had a print out of the pages of this Jolly Rogers cookbook on how to hotwire a car and got the the wires, the guts out from the bottom, the steering wheel.

00:40:44:04 – 00:41:09:21
Yeah, I did it were like the least things work. They the jolly Roger. Well, I mean, I cut the wires, told me to what to do. And you supposed to. Whose car was this? Really? Just some random person's van that was in the actually in their driveway. Who had broken into three? Oh, yeah, I know, and I know that's for a.

00:41:09:23 – 00:41:35:13
Yeah, I know I never I know, I know I'm this is a bit of a revealing one today. Who did you do this with? I can't even remember the latter's waves. So you broke into some someone's van to hotwire it and then do what? Yeah, I don't know, I could drive. I had no idea how to drive, but I had this cookbook which told me to get these wires from underneath the steer near your house.

00:41:35:13 – 00:41:56:07
Rake? A couple of steaks over. So this is it. Covered all bases. Covered all bases. And then. Right. I had these wires and my mates were in the back and just tapping these wires, trying to get them to spark so I could start it up. Then all of a sudden, from out of nowhere, a big tap on the window, and I was like, what the fuck is that?

00:41:56:07 – 00:42:17:13
I looked at my right as a flashlight. I opened the door. It was two police officers. Oh my God, in a van. Oh yeah. Oh my God. Rick, have you never mentioned this? I don't know, I think I, I've mentioned this before. You know, I would have had I, I remember 100% remembered how have we known each other 20 years.

00:42:17:13 – 00:42:39:18
And you never told me the story where you tried to hit in the middle of the. When was it? What time? Yeah, it was no, it was like, I'm not going to come up with the idea of breaking and entering into a vehicle, pulling out the wires, hot wire in it, meanwhile having no idea what to how to drive, and then a police officer find and you do it.

00:42:39:18 – 00:42:57:10
No, you haven't told me about this. No, I sorry, mate. Yeah, I am I did, I did, I got, got pulled out. They took our name to car addresses and all of that. Oh the shit you did as a teenager. Oh, you probably think this is a problem child. This is a child is going to grow up in amounts of nothing.

00:42:57:12 – 00:43:17:07
I just thought that's what young boys did the night, okay. Yeah. I mean, those kids in my school took their dad's car and drove around in it. Yeah, maybe not hot wiring cars, breaking someone's fucking work van and then try and wire it to drive away. No, no, I mean, I came home scared of the repercussions. He was.

00:43:17:09 – 00:43:42:19
I was with my mates. We were just not proper brazen. But we didn't. But wouldn't your mum absolutely rip you a new one at home? She would, but did it. I was scared of it. Of the idea of no, no, no, no, no. It took to send my mum, my sister and I up and she nearly always had gone off two jobs or worked long shifts.

00:43:42:21 – 00:44:09:06
So that kind of and where I lived, it was all the street that I lived down. It was all, single parents, basically single mums raising children, no dads. And we would drive around in packs of young boys, and just get up to mischief. Really? So we didn't. Yeah. We didn't really fucking care. It was just like young.

00:44:09:06 – 00:44:27:10
No, no, but most people would do like the reasons why most kids don't break into vans and try and hotwire. It is because I would have been scared. My dad would have struck me up, literally. But if your mum's working and she's not there, then that, you're not that real. It's not really there, is it? No, it wasn't there.

00:44:27:10 – 00:44:52:11
That fear. That fear wasn't there. No. Yeah. But in the end, the police officers, because they said it's so weird because the police officer said there was no real damage, that, I could go, I was, I was fine. God, really, I know, so so we just we just got to walk. We carried on walking down the line, got around the corner, and then we all ran or shit ourselves.

00:44:52:11 – 00:45:09:06
But nothing, actually, nothing really happened to us, which is is fucking mental. What did you do? You download the easement, you downloaded it and printed it off a lot that you had to do it yourself. Print out. Yeah I know I had prop had a print out. So it was like, you know, being caught red handed. What are you doing?

00:45:09:06 – 00:45:32:21
Nothing. We have a truck. Sounds hot. Where I car that's like amazing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's that's exactly what I've. I've got other evidence. Fucking mental. What it just before like, like so the dark web. Yeah. Right. The stuff that you can find on the dark web just had a little it all. Look, stolen credit cards and identity information.

00:45:32:22 – 00:46:05:06
Yeah, fake passports and ID. You never had any need for that passport, right? I'll tell you what I bought from it. Hacking services, like, dos attacks, counterfeit money. I've never had any anything for that. Drugs and prescription medicines. If you, If I'd done anything like that. Yeah. Weapons and explosives. Night. When I first read this, I thought it was organic traffic, and that's that.

00:46:05:12 – 00:46:32:13
So people pay people online to get more traffic to their website. It's like, that's fucking scary. No organ trafficking, I misread it, that's. That's I see is that. Yeah, I think that. Yeah. Well, if you need a living liver, it ain't bad where you live. Where does it come from? Hitmen for hire, human traffic and smuggling, Do you know what this is?

00:46:32:17 – 00:46:57:21
Read rooms? No, read rooms are live streamed torture sessions. Yeah. I mean, that is, I know that. So, so so there's three different types of. Well, I'm not. So I've used the dark web, and I've never come across any of that. Right. It's only people are looking for that stuff. Like anything. They'll find it. Yeah. So there's three different aspects of the internet.

00:46:57:21 – 00:47:28:02
There's the, there's the, the internet we use every day, which is like Google and Wikipedia and YouTube and the general stuff. And then there's like the deep web, which is like, like records and government resources and reports and documents and, and, and the information that we need to make the, the internet interesting. Right? That's what exists in the deep web.

00:47:28:02 – 00:47:50:14
And some of it will never be seen again, some of it seen every day, but it exists there so that you can recall anything at any time. That's what's amazing about the internet. Yeah. If you would have told our predecessors that there would be a device where you could ask a question about anything that your mind could possibly conceive, and it will give you an answer that's like, you create God.

00:47:50:16 – 00:48:08:18
Yeah. That is actually it's incredible. Like it's saying it's inside and we take it for granted now, like it's the greatest invention man has ever made. Well, I mean, we're we just a minute ago which and we feel in part of it back then and for us now, look at us. Who ever thought about it? We thought it was like how?

00:48:08:18 – 00:48:14:02
It's like a radio on a little disk that was like.

00:48:14:04 – 00:48:38:22
And then. And then you've got the dark web which exists under it, all of this, which is, access material, a space. If you want to do something, you can not get caught. Then you use the dark web. So you use a browser that is encrypted so that your personal information, your location, your IP address cannot be accessed by the police or any on your or your ISP.

00:48:38:24 – 00:49:05:16
And then once you have that which isn't a case of you going on Google and said, can I get access to the dark web? That's not how it works. It you have to download a browser that's specifically designed to access it and hide your IP address and encrypt it, or the Tor browser. Things might have changed, but, but but when I did it, that's what they were just, just quickly, if you didn't know how to get a, a, you know, some kind of internet protection, could you recommend a brand or anything?

00:49:05:16 – 00:49:25:02
Anywhere where to get, yeah. I mean, if you want to browse the the dark web, you should that you could access NordVPN forward, slash the fighting site, sign up. Good. Now you want to get paid for this, right, Derek? No no, no. Good night. And I mean yeah if anyone one let us know if you sign up to NordVPN.

00:49:25:02 – 00:49:43:11
If one person does I'll give Rick a payment anyway. Nordvpn.com forwards. That's fine. If you're going on the dark web, you need a VPN to protect you from some of the evil stuff. There's no protection on the dark web you open. Well there is. You still got your file. You've got your you got your firewall, you've got your your VPN.

00:49:43:11 – 00:50:03:02
You've got things like malware by it, things that track that sort of stuff and protect your computer. But you're you're open yourself up to different challenges. Anyway, that was it's quite a faff to do it and drug dealing as well as ever. Prostitution, naughty things and porn. Sex. We'll find a way of making things easier to get to you.

00:50:03:04 – 00:50:37:23
So the dark web essentially became redundant sexually. So if you're buying things like drugs, weed, whatever you want. Yeah. Pills, cocaine, the, the, the being during lockdown, it exploded in being able to access this stuff and buy this stuff through on the web and through the postal system. Get sent to your house. They moved over to things like telegram, which are messaging, which is which is like WhatsApp, but it's encrypted so the police can't see it.

00:50:38:04 – 00:51:09:08
Things have changed and laws have changed, and it's not as secure as it used to be. But back then it was fine. So instead of browsing the dark web and, you know, potentially getting into areas that you don't want to get into, some of the horrendous stuff that you've said and definitely exists, by the way. Well, you know, torture rooms, fucking all the worst shit you can imagine is on the dark web, that you could safely go on telegram and you could buy whatever you wanted and have it since your house.

00:51:09:08 – 00:51:12:19
And I did a lot.

00:51:12:21 – 00:51:40:07
It was great, man. I tell you the best. Yeah. And it's not great. And I wouldn't sort of recommend anyone ever taking drugs and, like, it sounds like nearly a hundred day sober now, so. But I wouldn't recommend anybody doing this. But but there was an incredible novelty to just going on telegram, sending them some bitcoin, putting in your address, and then waiting for the postman to deliver that gear was yeah, I don't think I remember.

00:51:40:12 – 00:52:13:10
I'll recapture that buzz ever again. No early lockdown was operating. Yeah. During lockdown it was a very buzzy period for, for everyone. Everyone. Yeah. And what you could order and the different things you could order and it would literally get delivered to your house was fucking incredible. I was always a bit liar bits about it. I was always like, like people saying pills, and you don't want to do it because you might be lay a bit.

00:52:13:10 – 00:52:33:02
So I was always a bit sketchy about it, but I very much enjoyed everybody's, I you always been a bit concerned you that. Yeah. You worried about please, please come gonna get you know, I don't know. I don't know what it was. Actually, let me tell you something that didn't happen to me. And this isn't didn't happen to my friend diva, right?

00:52:33:04 – 00:52:58:00
I ordered something I didn't know that came by accident that he was interested in. So I didn't want it. And I said, do you want this? And he said, yes. And so I sent it to him and it didn't arrive. And he was like a paranoid person anyway. But he was like, it's not arrived. Days pass. Still not arrived, still not arrived.

00:52:58:02 – 00:53:16:23
A week passed, still not arrived. Oh no. Two weeks and was like, it's been intercepted. Forget about it. And he's like, well please turn up. No, I saw it beforehand, but that's not much I can do. If they do say you're right. Yeah. Kind of. You going to prison. But anyway. But three weeks later it turned up.

00:53:17:00 – 00:53:45:11
Ripped open, package in, ripped open with an apology note from the Royal Mail to saying it was checked for drugs, but, we couldn't find. We tested it and we couldn't find any drugs. That was drugs. But there was it was drugs in there. That was drugs, right? Oh, my God, not the drugs they were looking for. Right, right.

00:53:45:11 – 00:54:02:24
I say, I say testing for that type of drug. And he got it. I'm sure he used it by now. It was it was quite a niche thing. It was quite a niche thing. Amazing. I am going to read out this. To finish this off, I'm going to read out this email that we got a sense I think we should do another episode about the internet.

00:54:02:24 – 00:54:28:14
There's tons and tons and tons I haven't spoken about. There so much stuff that I've got written down there that I've just yeah, will definitely do it will definitely do a part two. But I have to read this email out and I'm going to go into it because it's a bit of a hefty one this beautiful. In the pods last episode, you mentioned the possibility of an episode about the internet and the question for people out there being, what's the most mental thing I've ever done on the internet?

00:54:28:19 – 00:54:57:11
And I think next week's topic, however, I have the perfect story to share. And I've got excited because I've never had any stories to share in anything like that. Feel free to use if this ever makes the pod. Let me preface this by saying I'm from Iceland, right? So fucking mate is from Iceland to begin with. G explaining possibly some cultural differences or something you may find weird.

00:54:57:16 – 00:55:32:14
All currencies are converted to US dollars to be easier to understand, and our rough estimates based on memory and googling of prices. Back then, the most mental thing I've done on the internet. Back in 2011, I was in eighth grade and dreamed of owning an iPod touch. I walked from house to house, ringing their doorbell, asking people if they could donate empty bottles and cans that they, that they could take to recycle, to receive a few cents for each bottle or can be returned.

00:55:32:16 – 00:56:04:00
I quickly learned if I lied, I was collecting them for the Red cross. People were more people were more likely to donate if I told them I was saving up. Sorry if I told them I was doing it for charity, they'd be more willing to give me the money rather than telling them I wanted an iPod. Anyways, after a few months of going every week or so around the neighborhood, I'd saved up about $300 of the 500 I needed to buy the iPod.

00:56:04:02 – 00:56:28:09
One day. My classmate, who was not a bright lad, oh, had learned about the darknet marketplaces. His brother was a well known drug dealer in the neighborhood. The two of them thought this would be a gold mine. The issue was that they did not know how to access the dark web or buy Bitcoin. So he came to me for help as I knew I as he knew I was active on hacker forums back then.

00:56:28:11 – 00:57:02:15
That is. That is when I had the brilliant idea of ordering things off the dark web for him for 100% markup, a dealer or a remember if there was, if this is before the time of cryptocurrency exchanges, if I was too young to sign up to them. Whatever the reason was, I took about $100 of my hard earned recycling cash, walked to my local post office and sent it off via Western Union to a random Russian bloke that had been in contact that I'd been in contact with on the hacker forum.

00:57:02:17 – 00:57:31:03
Magically, he held up his part of the deal and sent me the bitcoin. After receiving the bitcoin, I ordered the MDMA my idiotic classmate wanted and had it sent to a fake name and address we knew was an empty apartment so he could just check the postbox regularly. The package never arrived. My classmate was convinced it never arrived because the name of the package was fake.

00:57:31:05 – 00:57:57:04
He wanted to try again, but this time sent it to his apartment in his name. I said, no way, this is a scam. I've already lost $100 and I'm saving up for an iPod touch. That's when he offered me his brand new iPod. If I'd spent all my $300 on another order of darknet MDMA. So that's what I did again.

00:57:57:06 – 00:58:23:13
Bitcoin bought through this random Russian bloke. I know where he was placed on the darknet, this time sent to my classmate's house in his name. He gave me his iPod and I'd finally done it. I should my way up from zero to the iPod I wanted so badly. I was immensely proud of myself. A few days later, we're sitting in math class where my classmate gets told he has to go see the school principal.

00:58:23:15 – 00:58:47:04
Nothing unusual is always getting sent there anyway. Maybe half an hour later my teacher tells me I have to go to the school principal as well. I did not understand what why and was quite confused. I still hadn't connected the dots. As I walk to the principal's office, I'm greeted by two police officers. I nearly pissed myself. I was so scared.

00:58:47:06 – 00:59:11:19
Of course, the police had intercepted the package. My classmate ratted me out immediately and even told them that he'd stolen the iPod that was now mine. The police took my iPod and drove me to the station where my mother was waiting for me. The police had called her and she handed my laptop over to them, which is in the shade as well as my new iPods.

00:59:11:21 – 00:59:37:15
In the end, I'm quite happy with how all this went down. I really did learn a valuable life lesson here at 14. The following Christmas I got an iPod touch. Having spent the previous months without any technology apart from my old Nokia button phone, I learned that a life of crime is not worth it. As for my classmate, I see from his sociology that he seems to be involved in some strip club business in Albania nowadays.

00:59:37:17 – 01:00:04:12
Yes, some people never learn mate. I mean that story 14 they have that money sent to Russian people to give you bitcoin and to buy MDMA. But but there is the most interesting part of that story is what you can do to get what you need. So in this instance, he needed an iPod touch and he found the way to.

01:00:04:14 – 01:00:24:10
So he said hustle up to a point where he got what you wanted. All right. You don't supply drugs in order to, you know, because it's likely you're going to end up arrested and in jail. But the bottle top stuff and the cans and the donating and all 14, you're going to be a little bit entrepreneur. Me what we say now.

01:00:24:10 – 01:00:45:01
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for him in a way. But don't, you know, just buy drugs off the internet to do that unless you're sort of 40 not. And you can find random mates out. Yeah, yeah. And there's, there's a global pandemic. There's nothing else to do. Exactly, exactly. So you know, take all of that with a, with a pinch us.

01:00:45:01 – 01:01:08:24
So we're not going to do dilemmas this week. We're only going to go straight into something only you know. And the name of that is called am I a Bad friend. Now the topic for next week is what's the top item on your bucket list before you die? Is there a country you're desperate to visit and why? Specific mountain range you have to see the sunrise over.

01:01:09:01 – 01:01:34:22
Maybe cage dive with great white sharks, sky trying ayahuasca, going to Peru and meeting the shamans. So what is your bucket list? The things that you want to do. Now, I want you to tell us. I want to try heroin. You know what? I was going to put that in the list because I wanted to do that. Well, just just when I'm older, when I'm not really at the end.

01:01:34:22 – 01:01:59:20
Yeah. It's just a little. No, no, I'm just. I'm with you financially now. Well, no. Not now, not to secure. Right. Yeah. Okay. No, no, I'm not saying now. I'm saying when now I'm not saying now. I'm saying when I'm, when the mortgage is paid and I'm, I don't have to worry because at the end you're like, well, I'm a little bit concerned about, you know, death and not existing anymore.

01:01:59:22 – 01:02:06:03
I want to be like chilled. I'm like, right now get the needle right, right.

01:02:06:05 – 01:02:26:07
Man. You right? It was okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm up for that. I'm up for the part about it. After it was the past. I want to do it. What? I think it's going to be that good. It's amazing. And we all go. It's all a big taboo. It's all of it. It's. It's all. What is it? What you say is I, it's to it's right.

01:02:26:10 – 01:02:59:01
Yeah. Okay. Gatekeepers. Great. I know people have done it and they're right. There you go. Yeah they go. What, what injects or it's my case. No smokies. Right. Okay. Yeah. I'd like to know. What do you mean? You didn't say. I'll introduce you to me. Right. Okay. That that that done. So if you've got a bucket list, story or if you want to submit something that's a non pot at gmail.com, we'd love to hear from you.

01:02:59:06 – 01:03:09:04
And now we're going to jump into something only, you know, something. You know.

01:03:09:06 – 01:03:33:12
When I was 18 and at sixth form, I had a crush on this girl and knew one of my mates also had a crush. So I decided to do nothing, as I didn't want to ruin our friendship until I had this party and invited her to it. Long story short, she only lived around the corner and when everyone left, we both ended up getting tipsy and I lost my virginity to her.

01:03:33:14 – 01:03:58:11
The one that I told one of my friends about the night and us sleeping together. And he ended up telling me that the other friend who had a crush on her shatter and lost her virginity to her last week. Well before here. I know before I did that night, but I did that before I did and that they were secretly boyfriend and girlfriend.

01:03:58:11 – 01:04:34:18
Oh, done. Yeah. No, obviously. Why did she leave him? Obviously I was slightly heartbroken, as I did like her, but also the fact or shagged my mates girlfriend made me feel awful, but I decided to keep my mouth shut as I knew it wouldn't cause any good and didn't want everyone to hate me. A couple of months later, they ended up breaking up and I tell my friend what happened and at the end of the day, we had a laugh about it and enjoyed a lovely pint together.

01:04:34:20 – 01:04:59:08
Fast forward a couple of years. I'm now at university and invite the same friend for a night out, and he brings his sister along to. That's weird. This is me. I can, he might say. Yeah, we go to this club and when I return from the bogs for a piss, I see his sister alone at the bar.

01:04:59:10 – 01:05:22:12
I go to keep her company and protect her from a strange bloke I was. I also consider her a mate. After flirty chat, we both end up snogging. That was not my intention. When I went to the bar, it just slipped in. Yeah, I didn't mean to do that. My mate didn't see me get off with his sister as he was too busy chatting up some girl.

01:05:22:14 – 01:05:31:23
After the night out we all went back to my flat. My mate passes out on the bed and I lay on the end of it sideways.

01:05:32:00 – 01:05:56:14
And right. Okay. My mate passes out and at the end of the bed I lay on it sideways. She then put herself in front of me, pushing her ass into me. I yeah, this is where I get caught in two minds, and I felt like I the devil, an angel on both my shoulders. After a long time of deciding what is the best course of action to take.

01:05:56:16 – 01:06:25:06
She must have got fed up waiting. She put her hands down my pants and started wanking me off. Dead. Yeah, I stopped it before I could finish as all of this. All of a sudden, the realization of what was happening gave me a mental block. They both left in the morning, and even though that was two years ago and the sister now has a boyfriend, she still occasionally gives me a cheeky flirt every time I see her.

01:06:25:08 – 01:06:47:13
And that is something only I know. Am I a bad friend for shagging his girlfriend and getting tossed off by sister? Nah. You're fine. Nah. I think if I make getting they get, you know, the go. My girlfriend, not my sister. Is it so. Yeah. And see that and also the tossed off bit. You said you didn't. Jack so doesn't really count.

01:06:47:13 – 01:07:03:21
So. Yes. I didn't ask for either. So it's really on early and. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're safe. Me you say molested if anything. Yeah. Call the police on us, I didn't know.

01:07:03:23 – 01:07:11:04
The episode in Peep Show where Mark gets molested by again.

01:07:11:06 – 01:07:29:23
So you see what happens? Well, he's he's, he's lying in bed, and that girl comes, she starts, she gets on top of him, and he doesn't really want to have sex of her. And she's just like, she just sticks it in her anyway and right him. And then he's talking to Jeremy the next morning. He just says it was a bit of a weird thing.

01:07:29:23 – 01:07:55:23
And he's he's like, Mark, you like you were raped, Mark. And then Saint Franz comes in and you're like, I guess, well, be careful. Mark was raped, I wasn't right. It's fucking amazing. Let's go to Nick. So good. Pete. Right. So, so next week, the topic is your bucket list of things you want to do. Email us at lots and on pod at gmail.com.

01:07:55:23 – 01:07:59:17
And until then, we will see you next Monday. But.