#50 | Sandwiches | The most definitive chat on sandwiches you’ll ever hear!

00:00:04:04 – 00:00:29:10
I'm just trying to think of a size to me. What? I, The. What's the worst storm that you've ever been in? I remember once, right when I was fishing, and we knew that it was going to be bad weather, but normally in bad weather, it's all right. Fishing in the rain. Cool conditions is more difficult.

00:00:29:12 – 00:00:54:17
It is where. It's where comfort is. One thing that you want. And a lot of the wind can knock the alarms and give false kind of, things that you've got a fish and stuff like that. But more often than not, you're just laying on your bed, in your sleeping bags, watching the rain fall and hearing it tippy tap on your busy, which is great, is a sound like bees.

00:00:54:19 – 00:01:13:17
But when there's a cloud of wind and your baby is lifting up off the floor, and you know any minute that it's going to rip open, then you're fucked. And that's exactly what happens. Pissing down rain. My pegs are in. I put everything down. I'd even put like, a, like a wheelbarrow on the back of it to make sure that it hold it down.

00:01:13:23 – 00:01:34:07
Didn't fucking hold it down. Just completely came up off the floor, flew behind me into the bushes. Everything is saying you're exposed. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So I'm just sleeping. I mean, literally bags zipped up around me like that. Yeah. In the rain as it's pissing that you said nothing you can do at that point. Do you just pack up and go home in the rain, or do you just.

00:01:34:07 – 00:01:52:16
I should have done. I just got the baby put down again, and I didn't even put it up properly. I just laid loads of things on it so that it just held in place. So laying there thinking, fuck, you know, I'm. I'm soaking wet. I'm freezing cold. I haven't got a fish. Why why am I even here? Why am I here?

00:01:52:18 – 00:02:14:13
That reminds me of Alex. So my brother's, like. Anyone listening to this, will know the engineer out. Or Alex Conwell, who wrote the intro to this music. Well, you're here. You're here shortly. He he's like, he does. He just he's just he would decide to do something that most people wouldn't do. And you go, yeah, of course he did not like.

00:02:14:13 – 00:02:37:11
So he decided to walk from some Bristol down to Bricks Brixham where my, my, my mum lives and it's like 140 mile walk and it's just something he decided to do. But it's going to take you. Works out, is taking about eight days and we're all a little bit concerned, like because I just feels like a lot a long way to walking in in, in Britain.

00:02:37:11 – 00:02:57:08
And it's not something most people would do. But anyway, he show he's like he can take care of himself. And so after day one, he, he realized the bag he was carrying was way too heavy. And it was because he'd brought a portable cooker with him. And he's like, this is madness. I can't carry this thing 144 miles.

00:02:57:08 – 00:03:15:16
So you realize you have to get rid of it. So buried it in the woods. I don't know why. Anyway, pretty on day three. So one of the worst storms of the year came in and he was out there. And he's not likely the experienced camper or anything. And he had when he said, is it just like a a piece of material that goes above you?

00:03:15:18 – 00:03:36:14
So yeah. So basically it's it's an umbrella with sides and a lot of front porch. He didn't have that. He had a material that you would attach above to create like a roof, but that's it. That's a color, like a tarpaulin. And then you put on a rope and you just leave it under it. Yes. Right. So that's what you had.

00:03:36:16 – 00:03:54:03
And you had to go through the night. You get a sleeping bag as well. This stuff like that. Yeah. That's go through the night. You camped in some woodland, get some shelter and it's one of the worst storms he's ever seen. I do love a storm, Eric. I love sitting inside and hearing it outside. Be the. Yeah, to feel a bit bad, but what?

00:03:54:04 – 00:04:13:14
He should feel bad about this homeless. Yeah. That. Yeah. Probably should have thought that would be the first. Let's not think. Actually, that's not let's not focus on that bit. Let's focus on the bit. One of my favorite things to do is lying in bed with the missus where it's dark and you can hear the rain tapping on the window.

00:04:13:14 – 00:04:34:23
Yeah. And, you know, nice and warm in your bed and, you know, it's just cold outside and you're just, you know, and you can thunder and lightning as well when you're indoors and you're in the safety of your home watching it. That's lovely. What about the homeless? So I did think about that while I was saying it again, it's like we should probably just stop this and just try it.

00:04:34:23 – 00:04:45:15
It's something. Yeah, probably a jingle. Yeah.

00:04:45:17 – 00:05:11:08
Them night hazy like Band of Brothers playing tunes. Highs quiet. Midnight waves. Surfing through till date breaks. Rhythm of different ways. Love of music. We prayed with our tongues in cheek. Banzai. We like to speak and yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers.

00:05:11:10 – 00:05:37:17
Hello and welcome to lands Anonymous is episode 50. I'm Ricky Haze Flav, two best mates, one main topic. We answer your dilemmas. Your confessions are featured in something only you know. And everything remains anonymous. Always. So sip a little bit, relax and enjoy the Purge. Episode 50. Let's change it up. I thought you chose children. I wasn't 100% sure you had, but have.

00:05:37:19 – 00:06:02:22
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 50, 5050. Yeah yeah yeah. No, it's not 50. Wait, did you do a couple of quickies with Ricky? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. But we're getting close to a year now. Yeah. Which is a bit mental, isn't it? It is mental. Yeah. January the 23rd is when we released our first episode. Yeah. About friends. You could go back and listen to that.

00:06:02:24 – 00:06:30:14
Yeah, it's good, but it's the most downloaded episode. Yeah. How how, How have you found doing the quickie Rishi? Well, you know, in your life. Yeah, I've enjoyed actually. Yeah, I've enjoyed it. There are times where people have submitted their kind of stories or what they'd like to add into the pot, and it would be nice to have your thoughts on some of them.

00:06:30:14 – 00:06:56:20
Yeah, like just as a bounce back. But other than that I quite like it. It's 30 minutes, so it's not really, an arduous thing of, scrambling around or doing anything like that. I kind of like yourself, though, mate. It's hard. Yeah, I mean, it is hard, but I, I really enjoy actually, I do enjoy putting it together and just just having a little, getting stuff off your chest for the off hour.

00:06:56:24 – 00:07:24:19
It's lovely. And in this week's, Well, the week that's just gone, we the main pod, we spoke about technology and the quickie with Ricky. To be honest, a lot of the emails that we're sending, we're still submissions from people that had listened to our language episode, and there was a couple of tech submissions, too. So there was an American asking about the word fanny.

00:07:24:21 – 00:07:47:24
And the connotations of it back in England in comparison into, yeah. And some antiquated way of yeah. Bum bum bum. Yeah. Fanny er venerable Billy here. Pom pom here. Yeah. So if you were to. So a common phrase would be, if you carry on, I'll smack your fanny.

00:07:48:01 – 00:07:55:15
That's sounds so weird. You can't. Fanny. Yeah.

00:07:55:17 – 00:08:24:22
Dear. They. So that was good. There was, there was a submission about people making up words. Someone told us about their first wank, which is great, that the summer of their first wank. That was excellent. Six those. There was more chat about sex. Those. And there was a kind of a something only, you know that was submitted that it wasn't technically a something that of, you know, as a submission, but it was and it was top, top tier.

00:08:24:24 – 00:08:49:08
And honestly, go back, listen to that episode. So only 30 minutes right at the end, I, it was it was one of the better ones. It was a fucking cork. I sent you a message about it, a screengrab, I'll just say marriage. Yeah. So last night. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, so, what has been your favorite, Sammy?

00:08:49:08 – 00:09:25:02
Only, you know, mine's definitely the bloke you went to Travelodge because. And then a man who was 66 sucked him off because he didn't want to be rude that I didn't I don't I don't care if that was made up or not. I don't think it was. It sounds true. It was the greatest thing. One of the great things I've ever heard imagine, is the the backstory to that one is that he would meet up with his mates every year and they met up, the same mate who he would spend hours talking to online, and they would be talking about porn and that then it was just them too.

00:09:25:04 – 00:09:44:17
And then all of a sudden he's sucking his mate off. Yeah. Just and then it's like, fuck, man. Like what? How did I get here? Why am I swallowing this? And then, and then he thought, shit, maybe, yeah, maybe I'm gay. And then he tried the Travelodge thing, and, he's not gay.

00:09:44:19 – 00:10:01:23
He turned off and he met up with this bloke. I don't know whether it was a grinder or how he doesn't know, but he. He met up and he was, I see, like a six year old man and he's, he's, he's, he's sitting in a Travelodge room and didn't they go in and he goes, oh, I'll give him a blowjob now.

00:10:01:23 – 00:10:20:21
Might as well see. And then he said, I don't like this. Maybe I'm not gay after all. That isn't the way to test whether you're gay by going to a Travelodge and sucking off a six year old man. Some random dick, is it? It's like. It's like you would like if I was in the Travelodge and I was a 67 year old woman.

00:10:20:23 – 00:10:42:08
It wasn't my type. And then I. And because I didn't enjoy having sex with her, it doesn't make me not straight. He's just put himself in the worst scenario you could put yourself in to find out whether he's gay or not. Stupid. So if you listen to this and maybe try again in the right environment, yes, already I really want you to really figure out again if you're gay.

00:10:42:10 – 00:11:02:18
And I think, yeah, but my favorite something out of you night was the gentleman who had gone to it, gone back to a house party, or they missed their last try and they've gone back to someone's house. It was dark. He was on the sofa and he was getting some kip before he had to go back in the morning.

00:11:02:24 – 00:11:24:06
Someone else joined him on the sofa and he sort of. For fuck's sake, who the hell was this? Pitch black. Then all of a sudden, a hand slides down his jeans off, starts tossing him off, and he's like, fucking come on, let's fucking go a free hand. They over here. And then, he decides to return the favor and slides his hands down.

00:11:24:06 – 00:11:48:10
That person, jeans, finds a very hard cock. So it's going to be a vagina. Gee, it wasn't virgin. And in the end, he he tosses that guy off and as the light comes up, he realizes it was his mate. It's just something. So, you know, just tossing each other off Athens. It happens.

00:11:48:12 – 00:12:13:04
That's fucking wild, man. Wild. What do you call. Yeah. Go. No, no. Can't go. I've forgotten what we're talking about this week. I have no idea. Really? Yeah, really. I know you sent me a message last night. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, sandwiches. That was it. Sandwiches. So in the dictionary, this is, this going to be relevant for sandwiches?

00:12:13:08 – 00:12:39:17
Two slices of bread enclosing a filling, meat, cheese, fish, etc.. Invention attributed to the fourth Earl of sandwich, who spent long periods at the gaming table and carried a portable meal of beef sandwich with bread. That's how the sandwich kicked off. I did not know that he it didn't want to. I didn't want to have a knife and fork.

00:12:39:19 – 00:12:57:11
He wanted some a meal which he could eat with his hands and his hands wouldn't get greasy. I did know that. And carry on playing cards. That's great. Fucking Donny. He's just made the best thing ever. And they are like my dad. My dad loves a sandwich. He like to know what that does. You know what he does?

00:12:57:11 – 00:13:17:20
Any and every meal. Yes. He has to have a side plate. Small. Well, yeah. Two slices of bread that he makes a sandwich out. Have whatever food he's having, like, always have, like, so obvious things like fish and chips. He'll have chip by as well. Right. Which is understandably roast dinner. You'll make a little sandwich out of the rice dinner.

00:13:17:22 – 00:13:46:00
No. Oh, lovely. Yeah. And it's like I, you know, I probably. How many sandwiches do you eat? Because I'm always on this ever quest to lose weight. I try and keep my sandwich consumption down because the carbs in the bread, cups in the bread, butter. And then more than likely, we should. He should have a touch of my I, my old lovely Slava on that Slava that I'd never use.

00:13:46:00 – 00:14:05:19
May I say what? I never use mayo in a sandwich. And the other thing is, not only do in America like mayo, I very rarely would use my own a sandwich. It just doesn't happen. That doesn't even have punch to come through. You know what Americans do? They use mayonnaise instead of butter. You're not making a sandwich, right?

00:14:05:19 – 00:14:26:06
Require and then using butter, and then you're adding mayonnaise to the butter. You don't just ever use mayonnaise. There. Now you never know why. You must be crazy. In America, that's normal to use mayonnaise instead. Like they won't use butter and have mayonnaise on their bread. That's why part of the reason why is obesity crisis there. But but as bad.

00:14:26:06 – 00:14:48:20
But my latest double bad I am. That's ridiculous most of all. But sometimes I think, I think mainly the only reason I have a sandwich is to get to the butter, and that is acceptable that I'm not spooning butter into my mouth and just sitting there because butter is a fucking. You cannot go without it cooking anything if you're adding butter, not cheat code for any dish.

00:14:48:22 – 00:15:09:24
It's also like my everything calorific like you like if I'm making, if I'm making a ragu like we had, we had like I had five kids in the house last night. My two children. Yeah. Then two close friends stayed over. I'm the little party spoiler I've practically adopted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, basically, lives of us make it like the weekends.

00:15:09:24 – 00:15:27:18
He just arrives and it's it's an unspoken thing. Now he's just here on the weekend. I, you know what? I'm not like. I wouldn't have handled that well, like just kids around my house at the time. All right, so I didn't think I would. I thought I'd be more, like, grumpy and, like, fucking kids everywhere. Yeah. Me.

00:15:27:20 – 00:15:51:18
Yeah, but the I. Ollie said to me, look these I said why do they like, why I don't mind but why they're always here. It's never they kids are kids staying elsewhere. Yeah. And it's because of the environment we created. They like being there. And then when they said that I was I. Fair enough, fair enough. To feed them, we made a massive spaghetti.

00:15:51:18 – 00:16:13:11
My, it's like everyone loves me, but I. It's what you do. Yeah. For sure. I was getting an Ollie. I didn't have a butcher. I don't know, another pattern in the Balinese shoes, I know, but in the Pollock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And and she's like, no, of course not. No one does that. And I'm like, all right, I'll wait till she's left the kitchen.

00:16:13:11 – 00:16:31:06
Then I'll do it. Do everything right. Yes. But I mean, anything makes everything great, but it's obviously at like 400 calories per knob. But yeah, I've done that. Maybe I should fucking have a little. I'm 100% right. You just. When you're when you're,

00:16:31:08 – 00:16:54:12
It's basically when the when the record is made and you've let it sit for a bit, and it's been slow cooking in the impact. So about ten minutes before you and just put an up and then it smells fucking gorgeous. Oh. Good. Sandwich wise though. Yeah. It's butter isn't it. It's not, it's not, it's not. You don't have margarine.

00:16:54:12 – 00:17:19:22
They. So, I would, get into this a bit more, but I will. There's, a switch up my butters depending on. Okay, so you have block of butter or you saying, like the pack. I'm saying we have three butters in this house at any one time. At any one time. Different types of butter. That's how. That's how butter ish we are in this time.

00:17:20:01 – 00:17:50:21
And then, I'll get into that. The first, what I want to ask you, and this is, this is blowing the doors of the internet somewhat. What constitutes a sandwich for you? Because as we've heard in the dictionary, it is simply two pieces of bread and a fit in. Okay, so that could be anything, right? So would you say a let's take your example, a chip butty.

00:17:50:23 – 00:18:23:15
Yeah. Chips in a sandwich. Is that a sandwich. Yes. Okay. Bacon. It's hot. So bacon's hot. Go in a sandwich. Some people say sandwich should only be cold. No that's fine, it's fine. It's hot bacon sandwich. It's fun. Yeah. For sure, for sure. Okay I'm going to step up a little. What about a pie? So the, crazy guys up north make that a fucking mental.

00:18:23:15 – 00:18:48:16
What they fucking do? I hate them, so a bomb is like a basically a just a big, stocky roll. It's a roll, basically. That's what we'll say. They put a pie. Yeah. Now thinking meant it was thinking about. I'm like, I'm talking about something different. Like a, like a pie with, a top to it, a meat in it and stuff.

00:18:48:18 – 00:19:09:15
If you're thinking, nah, nah, nah, Rick, you can't be talking about an actual pie in a row. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, I fucking pie in a row. In a row, and then they'll just eat it. Yeah. That so, so technically still a sandwich, but. Right. Okay. Okay. Carefully. Not in it shouldn't be in the canon.

00:19:09:15 – 00:19:34:12
The sandwich canon. All right. Okay. Because it's crazy. Ricky, right? You got bread, all the carbs, you got pastry, which is more carbs. Yeah. And then what's why is the bread necessary? I don't know, it appears it's intended to be. And it's not pudding, but you mad bastards. Maybe the pie is not enough. Maybe they need a bit more, starch.

00:19:34:18 – 00:19:55:17
It's like that's the kind of, you know, some food you're embarrassed to be around. People. Yeah. Like, how would you. How would you feel about walking into an office with a McDonald's breakfast egg McMuffin, sitting down and just smashing it? Would you feel some somewhere about it? I would normally smash it there and then in the McDonald's.

00:19:55:19 – 00:20:15:22
Get it. So now make. And so no one can say and then walk into the office. Yeah definitely definitely definitely. So so my point is is if you're comfortable eating a pipe bomb in front of another human being, you're a psychopath. I'll get you might do mad things. When I was watching you, you're drunk in the kitchen late at night.

00:20:15:22 – 00:20:35:14
I've thought. Yeah, okay. I'm going to tell you about a mental sandwich I made that I'm embarrassed about. Now, I don't even, I don't even want to talk about it. I don't know what I was thinking, right. Good, good. But that's one of them. I'm putting a pie in a row or bap or a bomb, whatever I call it, which I'm going to.

00:20:35:16 – 00:20:54:20
It's. No, I don't know. It's not for me because a lot of people are saying, yeah, that is that, that is a sandwich, that's a salad. And then other people are saying, how can it be a sandwich when it's a roll, a rose a row, that's not a sandwich? And I was like, but then what about if you have like, a bacon roll?

00:20:54:22 – 00:21:11:06
It's not just a row or is it a sandwich? It has to be two slices of bread. Does it? It does I think. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. It's not it has to be. So yeah a rolls around a sandwich is a sandwich. I'll get there in the same ballpark on the same family tree for sure. But it's not a sandwich.

00:21:11:06 – 00:21:37:18
It's it's definitely a roll talking about family trees. And we're in the bomb game. BAP. Cobb bomb. None of them. These are all different types of, like, the thicker rolls that a lot of people have. You Sanger's pies like all different kinds of food. And would they? Is it just them in the family tree? Cousins maybe of the sandwich.

00:21:37:21 – 00:21:57:22
Oh, they're all the same thing on the bottom. Yeah. I mean yeah, but but it's that it's just where you roll Roe v sandwich. We need to make the case about this because he's a northerner and he's in love and monkey. Yeah. He knows all about this stuff. And you know, he's also not to bring it up around us as well I guess they're all the same.

00:21:57:22 – 00:22:19:19
Everything's kind of wheat based. The cat. Can I, interest you in a pitta? Yes. You can. I like a lot. I like a bit, too. Yeah. McHale sandwich, though. You can't come up here. Bread is a bread, though. Technically, it's a bread. It is. It's in the name. It's in the name. It's different. You're in a different mind space.

00:22:19:19 – 00:22:47:10
You're not in the sandwich mind space. When you hear my girls every day when they come home from school, what they have here in the toaster, pop it down. Thing is, it puffs up. Slice it butter in their bit of sliced cheese. Or if I'm, you know, feeling, a little bit happy. I'll slice real cheddar cheese, slide it in there, push it back together, stick it back in the toaster.

00:22:47:12 – 00:23:05:03
So it's like a nice cheesy. So nice. Yeah. Yeah. Like that. That would be like comfort food. That would be I'm nice memory. That will be for. Oh yeah. When they get older. Like my granddad used to chop up mars bars into blocks and we eat together when I was a little kid. That's nice with a when we share it.

00:23:05:08 – 00:23:08:20
It was. It was pretty good.

00:23:08:22 – 00:23:17:00
So. Okay. So is this different okay. Yeah. This is, this is this is going.

00:23:17:02 – 00:23:43:06
A couple more baguette sandwich or not. That's not a sandwich. Crusty roll still roll. Roll says in the name. Okay. And then, guess what you gonna say upon me? I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right, but we had a quite a few emails about a bar on me, so I'm on. Yeah. Never. So it's a Vietnamese, cuisine.

00:23:43:08 – 00:24:03:09
Oh, and it's you've got quite a few emails about barmy. Apparently these these are the one. This is the one. Is it? This is the actual one. This is why people have been emailing us about their sandwiches and this is what they've given in. So it's kind of like a baguette, but it's got a lot of fresh veggies in there and stuff like that.

00:24:03:09 – 00:24:23:13
But if they and fresh pork, stuff like that say a lot of people have emailed in saying this is the fucking this is the top dog in the sandwich tier. So that's why I thought I'd bring it to the table. But this is right at the top and a little bit worried about there's going to be spit flying your camera.

00:24:23:14 – 00:24:38:18
All right. But this one hot dog sandwich. Of course not a burger chicken burger, but chicken sandwich. Oh.

00:24:38:20 – 00:24:56:21
That's a branding thing, though. That's not real. Yeah, I that there's a lot there's a lot of chatter on the internet. Just know it is a sandwich. It's in the name. But it's like I don't know like if, if it was two bits of Hovis on it above it then yeah it's a sandwich but it's not. So is it chicken.

00:24:56:23 – 00:25:24:15
Chicken. But I mean I, I've never been a chicken sandwich. I don't even know what it looks like to be honest. Right. Okay. What do you think it is. Yeah, yeah. So it's it's a flat bit of battered chicken and it sits between two burger rows, like sesame seed bun and the bottom lettuce mayo. That's it. Really? That's chicken sandwich.

00:25:24:21 – 00:25:54:05
Yeah, that's a burger. That's a burger mate. And then we saying no to burgers as a sandwich sits between two bits of bread. It's it's more of a if you're talking about burgers you're talking more like it's roll. Yeah. It's that that's side of the family. It's I only think a sandwich can be. Yeah. Is if it's a loaf that's sliced and that is the substrate to the food that the, the the innings in it.

00:25:54:07 – 00:25:57:12
Yeah. Oh yeah.

00:25:57:14 – 00:26:19:05
And it's such a funny word. I, I'm going to agree with you. I know I think the old traditional, you know, like high tea when you go for fucking cucumber sandwiches that, that those sandwiches that, that's a sandwich. We can't keep going here. Hiro. What about the cat? What about hot dog? What about you? No, no no no, no part of the same family.

00:26:19:09 – 00:26:52:11
They're welcome to the conversation. But you're not a sandwich, okay? Yes. You're not a sandwich. Get fucked. Exactly. And going back to your point about the Americans, and they use mayo instead of butter. If you were to make a peanut butter sandwich or a chocolate spread sandwich, I would never put those things. But yes. Would you use butter and then put the peanut butter on?

00:26:52:11 – 00:27:12:01
Typically in the past, yes, I would have used butter. It would have been my go to thing to put butter and then chocolate spread or batter than peanut butter. But I never would eat it. This is not something I would never eat everyday. Things, however, like it's becoming a stepfather. Obviously you're making fucking peanut butter on toast all the time.

00:27:12:03 – 00:27:42:21
Well, I have been through the years and categorically no butter. Oh yeah, it for two reasons. One, it makes the bread the toast soggy. Yeah. And two is too much. All all of that smear you need in the peanut butter and the thing you don't need. What's the butter for cookies. But it's always invited to every party. That's that's why I know I can see I can see the sense.

00:27:42:21 – 00:28:09:04
I can see the sense of chocolate spread. I probably would not date butter, but peanut butter sandwich or peanut butter on taste. Butter is always added to the party. Nice peanut butter, little bar. You always say she's asking you to put butter on there. You know how much my wife influences what I do and how I behave? Yeah, she I so what I like doing is stacking my toast as I butter it.

00:28:09:06 – 00:28:28:06
And I like the way that the, the butter underneath melts into the bread and it creates a little sort of it keeps it warm by stacking it, it keeps it warm. That's how I like to part of my toast. And I leave them stacked as I eat them. All right. I cut it in half. Yeah. She's like, I don't want my toast stack like that, I want it, I want you to.

00:28:28:08 – 00:28:46:07
I want you to butter it. Post both pieces of toast separate from each other because she doesn't want the soggy toast. I like the soggy toast. She doesn't. For some reason, when I'm on my own making my own toast, I will now only do it the way she likes it, even though she's not eating it and let me in it.

00:28:46:09 – 00:29:07:02
What's that about? What I would like to say. Number one, I've always liked your wife. She. You talking about is that we use these. She makes me. Yeah. She's correct. She is correct. She's correct. Because and again this is mainly for the butter chat. And if you in case you hadn't realized by now, I probably have a butter addiction.

00:29:07:02 – 00:29:31:05
Okay, let's just leave it. But if you butter a bit of toast and then stick another bit of bread on top, the butter from the bottom one goes into the back of that one. So one of the toast in the bottom will have hardly any butter. It would just be a soggy mess I like to have. And also this, this is going to send you fucking wild.

00:29:31:07 – 00:29:54:15
I let my toast cool down. That is mental. I let my toast go cold and then of call it go cold. And then I butter it because I want every. I want to savor every buttery mouthful. I do that every single time, mate. There's no you get you doing all this fasting bullshit when all you're doing is eating butter at every opportunity.

00:29:54:15 – 00:30:19:09
Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know what's happening. I'll go for a two hour walks. I'll feel good about myself. Then I come back, get a teaspoon, have a little nub about Australia. Go. No. Like that. That's my food. Oh yeah. I sent Frank for a walk. Never that long walk and then come back to the office supreme in the office now, because we got two kids and I was starving.

00:30:19:11 – 00:30:52:11
Just when I got chippy, I had a chippy on my own in this office at 2:00 in the afternoon. Oh, my God, that's jumbo sausage. Frank, I really he's been a big bloke as well. I bet he fucking love that as well. You'll see. Mate, that's that, that is. That's amazing. We're going, you know, we've just, you know, you just because we're talking about sandwiches, I'd be remiss not to mention something that happened to me during a podcast I did with James Alcock.

00:30:52:16 – 00:31:13:23
Is that. Yes, it it's in a play. The clip. No, but yeah, please do. I don't know whether I want you to actually thinking about I don't know whether I want you to play the clip because I don't want people to not view the clip. I want to stick the clip in the episode because it is one of my favorite things that I've ever watched.

00:31:14:04 – 00:31:40:24
So if you just do a quick explainer to people, what what happened? Well, so we were talking about something completely, I think we were talking about me getting married, and I think I'm not going to explain it in full, but I think I've understood what happened. But for some reason, like, it was like I had Tourette's. Yeah, that I shout, I just went, Sam, I just said word sandwich.

00:31:41:01 – 00:32:04:07
And mid-sentence, oh no. Oh, sort of in mid-conversation. That had absolutely no relevance. And immediately I said to James, who I was with, I don't know why the word sandwich just came out of my mouth. It was literally the strangest experience. It was, let me talking now, let me just go in, radiator. It's like it was I don't know what happened.

00:32:04:09 – 00:32:25:19
Anyway, if I was to watch the clip, was going to post it on Twitter. Yeah. Yeah, I'll put it in the show notes and I'll put it, when we do the tweet, I'll link it there. You get James all of retweet it, get some more eyes on the pot. Yeah, yeah, let's do that. It is one of the funniest things I've seen in fucking years.

00:32:25:19 – 00:32:43:14
It's absolutely mean. People still like. So I've just as we were talking, I've just tweeted, I'm doing a podcast, the latest episode of Lads Anonymous about sandwiches. And then I posted a picture of the pie bomb and said, this is mental, isn't it? Just to get people's gauging of it. Why? It's all right. All they're talking about is me saying sandwich.

00:32:43:14 – 00:33:05:06
About six years ago, when I was happy that it didn't even occur to me. Mate? No, no, no, that's that's it. Because it was, it's top tier viewing when you were talking about your kids. I know they're very older now, but back in the day, crusts were they, were they happy with crusts where you could eat?

00:33:05:12 – 00:33:25:12
But they would look. But right now, with the crusts taken off, I like the cross. A lot of it crosses really good. I think the crust is a bit. Not that I eat it, not that I like it, but it was never a problem for me to not eat a fucking sandwich because crust for that I did. Sometimes if they looked at me on the cross off, I would look at them go.

00:33:25:14 – 00:33:31:00
I think less of, you know, yeah, I know you're only four.

00:33:31:02 – 00:33:54:07
But no, you have to man up and eat the crust. Yeah. I don't remember cutting the crusts off my kid sandwich, but yeah, I think I think it's part of the the experience of eating a sandwich, because I don't know if it. I don't know if it's for you, you do it. But when you're eating a sandwich, you have the first bite.

00:33:54:09 – 00:34:20:09
And then there are specific bites going down a sandwich that are more favorable to a to a bite. So I would I've got a triangle. I'll bite the top of the triangle one side the next, and then in the middle there just pure bread. And that has got loads of in no crust, all the goodness of the butter.

00:34:20:11 – 00:34:38:05
And that is the one that I will saving for last the last fucking bite. Now I like, I like the texture of the crust. I think that adds to the experience. Yeah. To the. But yeah. Also what are you on about? What are you talking about. Triangles. You don't cut it down the middle. No no no no no no no no.

00:34:38:05 – 00:35:04:11
That that what you do I my missus called Quincy. I call it the corner. She does call for the width. Yeah, yeah, same as what I do. Yeah. There's some mad cases. They go top to bottom. Do you know, while researching this part, I saw that, I had to shut my laptop immediately, like, I was looking up because that phone and I just, like, I was like, how?

00:35:04:13 – 00:35:26:14
This is disgusting. If you like the crust you get, you get a crust by everyone down on you with corner to corner. You get in that beautiful middle bit. Much more opportunity of that size. It's amazing what different cutting of bread in the way you do. It changes the experience of the sandwich. Yeah I, I always remember em.

00:35:26:16 – 00:35:48:22
This is kind of relevant with the sandwich chat and my, one of my junior mates, when we would go and get a McDonald's, he when he'd pick up his burger, he'd pick it up, but he would flip the burger because he's trying to get out of the tray. And as he gets his hand on it, it should be eaten a burger upside down.

00:35:48:22 – 00:36:11:06
And we'd always used to discuss if he's having a different burger experience to watch, because we would be biting it. So it'd be bun, lettuce, mayo, chicken sandwich. But when he bites, it's just bread, chicken sandwich, then mayo, then like, is it like if he picks up a Big Mac upside down and eats it, is that different or is he getting a different experience?

00:36:11:06 – 00:36:37:18
I don't feel comfortable with that. No, I yeah, I don't think it I understand why he's just. Because I see what you're doing. You're holding it like that and he's turning it and it's doing 180. That's right. But it's never cuts him like maybe he shouldn't. Yeah. Like yeah, they intended and they would have done a lot of, testing and research on the bun.

00:36:37:18 – 00:36:58:09
Needs to be at the bottom, then burger, then cheese, then mayo. Sorry. Then tomato sauce, then mustard, then gherkins and lettuce that, you know, and he's fucking just throwing the rulebook out the window. No, no, no, I'm doing this in reverse and I like it. Let me ask you a sandwich, unless you're about a sandwich, and will decide whether it is one, and it's something very close to you.

00:36:58:11 – 00:37:23:15
Right? God involves your missus. Okay. God is a piece of sandwich with a whole boiled egg between two bits of bread. Is that. Is that a sandwich? Because that's what it is. It's, She does every Friday, I am going to say it is a sandwich because it's between two slices of bread. Chop up the egg. You can't have a whole boiled egg like that.

00:37:23:16 – 00:37:45:24
She doesn't have a whole body, does she? She. She slices the egg. She has two eggs. She slices them and then puts it on the bread with butter, salt and pepper and eats it. That's not my not that's for this to dry. It's that's that's one of the worst sandwiches you can possibly eat I think. What's your I don't know, but we're going to talk about our favorite sandwiches.

00:37:45:24 – 00:38:08:17
What's your favorite. I would okay so I I've got a few here mate. And we have a few favorite sandwiches. Well I mean can we get to one favorite eventually. You got to tell me, your friend. We will. We will. We'll get there. So nostalgia sandwich. Back in the day, I always had already know what you're saying.

00:38:08:19 – 00:38:30:17
My mum cheekily. Cheeky egg. My eye. And it was always like the salt. The pepper. No the mayo. She put loads and the I was just like, this is I've you, I've seen you eat more egg mayonnaise sandwiches than anything else. You always said that. Honestly, I don't know when there isn't a time when I haven't got an egg and it's low, low, low in calories in there.

00:38:30:18 – 00:38:57:12
That's. I think that's right. Yes. Protein in there is. Yeah. It's, I mean, I'm grams of protein. I mean, like you probably notice I don't actually if you had to guess, for, any more, I'm going to say 12 fucking now. So, so that's your nostalgia one, is it? That's how might 30g. That's a good one.

00:38:57:12 – 00:39:16:22
Free shit, man, that's a lot. That's why I say, you know, when I supposed poached eggs or every morning. Yeah. For the protein right there. Well, it protein keeps you full. Yeah. So you can get, you can stay full till lunchtime on free poached eggs. So you have to another poached egg. It's only a tree. It's only a nice.

00:39:16:24 – 00:39:37:18
Yeah. I can only do it when it's a treat lightly. I think so I'm I'm like back. Back when they know I hated it because I go in the caf and it go, let's start cooking. As soon as I walked in the door. Because here is what it comes. Poached egg. Because that's the way it comes back. Luckily, because I don't go in there much anymore.

00:39:37:18 – 00:40:05:03
Staff have changed and I have to order. Okay. Yeah. And I might have to. Month three a month, maybe now. Okay. Well yeah, it is a shame, but I was spending over £200 a month on poached eggs. That's that is. That is insane. Absolutely insane. One of my, other nostalgia sandwich. So there used to be a sandwich shop in Milton Keynes called brunches.

00:40:05:05 – 00:40:24:01
Now, I don't know if it's a chain, but it's. It was a sandwich place. All the workers that used to going to the shopping center, and they would go there on their lunch break. But this is I'm talking about when I was a lot young was food, brunches, brunches, not there anymore. Taken over by KFC. Shame. Yeah, it's bloody shame.

00:40:24:03 – 00:40:56:04
But they used to do this sandwich and it was. It's just a normal run of the mill sandwich. It was like a tikka masala, dry chicken, red onion, lettuce, but a little sliver of mayo. Corner to corner cut. And it'd be wrapped in a wax paper. When I was a kid and I'd been a good boy and I was walking around the shops, my mum can I, can I get branches.

00:40:56:06 – 00:41:19:24
Yeah. Come on then. And I'd get there and I'd put my order in and I'd eat this sandwich and you know, when it's just every bite is just fucking hitting that mark. One time I was eating, it. Felt something in my mouth, pulled it out. Just. Cox. No Irish at nine years old.

00:41:20:01 – 00:41:39:24
It was a fucking fingernail. No. That anybody would have said, that's disgusting. And that's exactly what I did. Yeah. What else do you do? But I'm not going to waste a sandwich from branches. And I fucking smashed that down, and I didn't care about that. Now, before you remember it, you remember. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

00:41:39:24 – 00:42:02:08
Remember it? Yeah. So those those are the nostalgia sandwiches. When I think back like those, those are great. And when you were talking about, My egg, my a habit. Yeah. You're right, you're right. And on when I'm on the go, when we used to record the fighting cock in London and I'd get the train down every week like my egg.

00:42:02:08 – 00:42:28:24
My number one, low in calories. Number two, it was the cheapest. And number three, just a little cheeky protein in there. So that's that's going to talk me out of it. That's fine. Now the taste wise those sandwiches they were fucking terrible. They were terrible. But the egg my just enough where you know it was all. But if I was feeling a bit, you know, cash on the cheap.

00:42:29:01 – 00:42:55:14
Fuck it. Let's let's have it. It would probably be a, an MLS sandwich. And I think it might be. I think they call it a New Yorker. I don't know if it is actually a New Yorker. Is it rye bread? Sort of pickle. Correct. So yeah, it's a it's a pastrami. Yeah. Mustard. Yeah. Can got a cheese in there as well.

00:42:55:14 – 00:43:13:03
Yeah, yeah. And it's like red lettuce is it. Yes. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I know because it's like a bit, a bit pricey. I wouldn't really go. That's not a daily one for me. If I was in a good mood I'd be like, let's fucking treat yourself. Let's go get one of those. So that's my nice. I'm.

00:43:13:03 – 00:43:32:13
So what about. Yeah. So when I was a kid, much nostalgia. One would would be cheese and ketchup sandwich fucking. That is a grim sandwich. I was a child. I know you're a child, but. Yeah, I suppose I don't eat it now. But when I was a kid, you asked me what I used to be as a kid.

00:43:32:13 – 00:43:42:07
That would be. That's fine. That's. Don't judge me because I said I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Cake. Okay.

00:43:42:09 – 00:44:03:23
That's what. And then. Or sometimes my mum would slice up an apple with cheese, cheese and apple cheddar. What? What should I do? Second, as a kid, right. Yeah. You've gone from. I'm just a kid. Tomato sauce and cheese to then fucking cheese and apple. Cheese and apple. That place is a is it accommodate a food combination.

00:44:03:23 – 00:44:22:24
That's absolutely acceptable. Yeah. Oh it is acceptable. But like for fucking high end of society we don't eat cheese and apple sandwiches sometimes. Mate, when I was a kid I would have a plate and I would have cheese, grated cheese, apple slices and ketchup.

00:44:23:01 – 00:44:55:16
But they. It's mad, crazy, fucking crazy. I don't know, I don't know, I know what was going on. My stupid little brain. So, so so that's what that's what it would be. That would have been. But then now, like, bearing in mind I'm a vegan. Vegetarian. Yeah. So. So when I say a turkey stuffing sandwich with cheese, okay, I imagine it would be a meat, but.

00:44:55:18 – 00:45:23:14
But what substitute what it is, is corn. It's like at the moment it's Christmas as it's turkey stuffing one. So I all like chicken cheese and coleslaw. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I can yeah, for sure. I've made plenty of those yet on the side. Oh yeah. Yeah yeah I do. I, I'm very fond of coleslaw in a sandwich because it's obviously got that mayo element.

00:45:23:16 – 00:45:48:01
It's got the crunch of the veg in there, and it brings a certain amount of wetness, a bit of slop to the sandwich where you're putting it in your mouth and bits of the coleslaw. Just drop it onto the plate and then you get the the last bit of crust to mop up that coleslaw. Fucking. Yeah. Oh, I might get a fucking just have a cultural sandwich after that.

00:45:48:03 – 00:46:10:08
Was there any gas that you used to go to that made my lovely sandwiches? Not really not not not sort of like go to places. There was a place in Stroud Green between Frenzy Park and Fish Pond. Oh, yeah. Do you remember Max's? And they. And their whole thing is they had free sandwiches you could buy. That was a whole.

00:46:10:10 – 00:46:32:14
Their entire restaurant was just sandwich based on that way, whatever the sandwiches were. But yeah, you managed to make an entire business on sandwiches. That's how popular. But I never really bothered. I never I can't think of a place where I think, you know, I'd go, I, I've just thought of my, one of my top tier sandwiches that I've ever eat, and it's not a place I'd go to.

00:46:32:16 – 00:46:58:14
A bit. It's a sandwich where I think back and I was like, you know, at that moment and, you know, if you think this is probably going to be the, the apex of, of sandwiches that, that I've eaten. I was in Munich with the missus and we found this sandwich shop and they had baked a ginormous pretzel.

00:46:58:16 – 00:47:28:13
They, they had a knife that cut the pretzel in half. And inside the pretzel was what you what I'd said about the, you know, the New Yorker. Yeah. So the pastrami, cheese, mayo, mustard, gherkin and that. And as I was eating it, the saltiness and the firmness of the pretzel stick with the other and great, I know, I mean, it was between two slices of bread or bread.

00:47:28:15 – 00:47:53:09
It's over. It's made it. Yeah, but so is a bomb. So it's a bap. Don't do this to me now. It's not a sandwich. You are a pretzel. I think it's a that. Honestly, I was eating then I was just like, I don't think it's ever going to get better than this. Did you did you ever go to the bagel place in Brookline?

00:47:53:11 – 00:48:14:00
Never. I've always wanted to. Yeah, I thought you were. To them. It's always featured in, like, documentaries because it's never closed. Because the they run 24. Yes they do. They do is open 24 seven. The both of them. There's two together, two separate business owners, two bagel shops completely next to each other. Well, that's meant why have they done that?

00:48:14:00 – 00:48:34:11
I don't really know because I don't know actually what the history is, but one of them is super popular. And then they just for looks good. Let's just copy them. It's like about two bagel shop, I don't know. Or maybe it was I don't know I don't know I don't know. Oh do you think do you think there'd be a different taste to the bagels and the salt beef and.

00:48:34:11 – 00:49:04:18
Yeah, not exactly. I ain't a massive fan of a bagel. I do like them, but they they really fuck me off because what I'm trying to spread. But it just goes down that hole. Yeah. So I'm just not a massive fan of it. If you were talking about a turkey and stuffing sandwich. So Christmas, Boxing Day, are you one of those guys that will make a Boxing Day sandwich 100%?

00:49:04:20 – 00:49:28:13
What would normally go into yours? But like are you he just I was going to say a meat guy, but obviously not. Yeah, but there's the you can buy like I can get the turkey crown of a, a vegetarian turkey crown. So imagine I am eating it. Right, right. Okay okay. Yeah. Yeah. So it would be all turkey sandwiches to me I like that's almost as good as a Christmas dinner the next day.

00:49:28:15 – 00:49:36:09
Shit boy. So good. So what I would do is I would I probably I'd cut the turkey up.

00:49:36:11 – 00:50:04:18
Like a slice of turkey. I'd probably put a smattering of stuffing if there's any leftover. Yeah. Yeah. And then horseradish all over it. Horsey. Horseradish. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah. Well, I love it. It's like the stronger, the better. Often I can't find horseradish strong enough for me. I know it's not me. Like going, oh, I can go to an Indian vindaloo I can't if I can kill that.

00:50:04:20 – 00:50:25:14
But she's my jam, I can. Horseradish. Wasabi is like that. Experience is the most pleasurable for me when in terms of food, I just really, really love it. Even if it like Burton Gino's. Yeah. When it gets so bad. You have been given a dick in the face. That's what it feels like. Yeah. Yeah, but wasabi stronger than horseradish for sure.

00:50:25:14 – 00:50:44:17
I know, although it's from the same root vegetable. Have you ever seen what a horseradish looks like? It's mentor. I think so. I grew one, but the roots went so far to the ground, I couldn't get it out of the ground. Just like a lump of horseradish. So you just laid in the mud and it's it. Yeah, but I can never.

00:50:44:22 – 00:51:07:02
I can never find a brand of horseradish that's really, like, punchy enough. Anyway, it's I it's. Anyone out there? Coleman. Yeah, yeah. Anyone out there? Let me know. Coleman's isn't the most fancy, but it is probably the strongest I can. Does a job. Does it? Yeah. I think for their experience with English, mustard means that they know what they're doing.

00:51:07:02 – 00:51:26:17
But the whole school. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he offers me cream of horseradish. I want to fuck him. I'd rather punch you in the face than he. That it's not. It's not that it's nothing. It doesn't. It's like a vague taste of horseradish and no punch. Yeah, I am definitely horseradish in the sandwich for sure. Yeah, I used to.

00:51:26:17 – 00:51:49:00
I remember, like, on a after, I don't do any more about Christmas. The Boxing Day sandwich used to fill mine with a mixer, and that would be with any me, like, loads of chicken meat sauce, all of that. But I've since got away from the mint sauce. And with my question of what you guys would be for it.

00:51:49:05 – 00:52:10:09
Yeah. Lamb. Lamb. Sorry. My lamb. Yeah, yeah. Because it's mint sort. It tastes nice. Oh, it's like you should you shouldn't be eating it. It's like bonjela. It just. You should just use it for your house. But sometimes I walk past a medicine cabinet. I have a little dab. But go on about my day. You say it's nice.

00:52:10:11 – 00:52:34:12
You have a little dab. DAB of horseradish, I mean bonjela. When you walk across the medicine cabinet that I use, do not anymore. I have have you? I kick the habit. Yeah. I've moved on to butter. That's that's, Yeah. My Christmas sandwich. I would, you know, obviously shove it may more than likely it'll be gammon chicken.

00:52:34:14 – 00:52:56:10
And I would. Right. I would make sure double meat. Yeah. Double me. I'd make sure that we've well, well over made stuffing because stuffing is it's the best. It's just fucking top ten minute. So it is so good. Excuse me. I just had a little sirup in my mouth. Genuinely. Yeah, yeah, I know I could see you dying.

00:52:56:10 – 00:53:07:13
I for what the fuck's going on? I did a sort of burp, and then it's still, I just. I'm drinking a flat white, and it's just all. It all came into my mouth. It's a drink about. Damn.

00:53:07:15 – 00:53:10:00

00:53:10:02 – 00:53:37:04
Did you remember, Ben Bowman's Christmas sandwich? Ben Bowman? That was the first time I'd ever, met Ben Bateman on online. Yeah, wherever you were. Whoa. I thought he, when he was doing his TikTok videos and talking about Tottenham analytics, and he said, I'm going to get this guy in a pod. I was like, yeah, yeah, no, this stuff app brilliant quality.

00:53:37:06 – 00:53:57:03
And then I scrolled through and then I went on to his Christmas sandwich that he made as a kind of offshoot of his football channel. And I was, at first there was a lot of, you know, a lot of me, a lot of everything going. And I didn't have a problem with it. I didn't have a problem with it.

00:53:57:05 – 00:54:17:10
Then then when he met, then he made the cut of the sandwich, and it was supposed to be corner to corner, which is, that's what I'm all about. He got nowhere near any of the corners. I just thought it was just mayhem. It was chaos. It didn't. There was no order to the way guys just put a knife through it quickly so I can get it in my mouth.

00:54:17:12 – 00:54:38:05
That's what it looked like. And then, did you not remember the amount of cranberry sauce you put on it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And and the art of a good sandwich is like thin layers so you can control it. He was. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Chunks of turkey. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. All the best. Yeah. Yeah. You can't be doing that.

00:54:38:06 – 00:54:54:22
Nah. It was like oh it I hated it. And I've never I bring it up all the time I mean so he's got Boxing Day to fix it this year right. I know you have my boys. This is the perfect Christmas sandwich. And he videoed it and you're like, that is terrible. But right does give me an idea.

00:54:54:22 – 00:55:16:18
If you're listening to this, see Boxing Day, let's see your Boxing Day sandwiches. You can even send in a video where post on Insta or sending any photos that you've made. And we want to know what's going into your sandwich. Send it into lads anon pod at gmail.com. And to finish off this segment, I just want to speak about a.

00:55:16:20 – 00:55:37:22
I think it's chiefly British. The humble crisp sandwich. Well, it would be right. I mentioned it to a sandwich. You're not just putting this in between bread I. Yeah you are. No. What? So so you got a piece of bread and you've got pocket prawn cocktail, some prawn cocktail. You bought the bread and just put crisps in it.

00:55:37:22 – 00:56:01:21
And that's the sandwich. Yeah. Have you never done that? You know one thing that no one that you may that was doing that. Yeah. Chris has a side to the sandwich. You don't makes a sandwich. Eat a crisp sandwich. You put two slices for me two slices of white bread, butter, butter. Open the crisps, stick it on the bottom bread.

00:56:01:23 – 00:56:23:00
Stick the lid on. Push my weight down to crush the crisps into it. Corner to corner. Slice the fucking eat it. No, you can have cheese. You can have like I'll have cheese and chicken and you know like beam mayonnaise or whatever closer. And then you'd have a bag of crisps on the side. Or you might add crisps to the sandwich.

00:56:23:02 – 00:56:40:13
You can't just have a crisp sandwich. It's not nice. Hey, I mean, there's no bite. There's no there's no substance to that. You just eat in bread and a little bit of crumble in there. I cannot believe I thought we were ending the pot. What flavor you put on? What's your go to flavor right now? We're going to really fucking get on the wings here.

00:56:40:14 – 00:56:51:11
Hang on a second. Is it salt and vinegar now? Okay, let's take that. Have been weird. Ready? Salted. You're a fucking.

00:56:51:13 – 00:57:13:00
Only sea ready. Salt is my favorite crisps. How can I be him now I see, I knew it. Yeah it can't. Only is she's just the best is you. But it's like you can have all the flavors. There's so many. There's like mustard. There's, There's. But was it beef? German? Branston. I think they've gone out of business now it's roast beef that the,

00:57:13:02 – 00:57:34:07
They are out of business now. And I have actually a Christmas tradition. And the. When they stopped producing them, I bought a multipack just so that I could have them. And every Christmas day, I would have, roast beef and mustard. Brannigan packet of crisps. Hang on a second. Still got them in the cupboard. How long have you had the.

00:57:34:11 – 00:57:56:20
How long have you have done script at the verse. Well. And now the last I think two years ago when I had them or maybe a year ago I opened it, started eating it because it's, it's Christmas Day and I've got my favorite crisps. It was really, really stale, not really nice. I was gonna say something. I know I just assumed because it was in a packet, it'll be fine.

00:57:56:22 – 00:58:16:11
Pretty much. Pretty much. I can't say they're going out of business and you've bought yourself a motorbike and say, I'm going to treat myself to one of these every Christmas day. Correct? Fucking mental. I did this deal with my cupboard downstairs that's going to eat. I know I've really disappointed that they've gone really that style. What do you think about this?

00:58:16:13 – 00:58:37:11
I am so out of the sell by day. Why have they stayed in my cupboard? I don't know, because they they just didn't sell. Obviously they had that crisp. And then they also had, like, a ham hock and mustard one. Yeah. I will fucking bang in these. Well yeah. Yeah. So like the so like everybody.

00:58:37:11 – 00:59:03:16
So it's sandwiches stupid. It's just the most bland thing if it is just so. And the second, the second sandwich that we have in this house is a what's it sandwich I love. That is so, I remember when I was I can't believe I, I remember this and this just jumped to my head, my very first job when I was younger and I was working in a warehouse.

00:59:03:18 – 00:59:31:02
I think it's very much like that. I says, lads, and we'd go out and we'd get absolutely smashed every Friday, Saturday, Sunday and going to work on a Monday. And I told someone that I was so pissed I made myself a whatsit sandwich. I went to bed, fell asleep and woke up and the whatsit sandwich was everywhere. Yeah, by 12:00 that day, people were coming up to me and said, I can't believe you got so pissed.

00:59:31:02 – 00:59:53:07
You made a whatsit sandwich and you woke up and the whatsit sandwich was in your boxer shorts. Like Chinese whispers of this happening. It's got around the warehouse. I put a fucking sloppy sandwich. I woke up with a sandwich in my boxer shorts. How would I even gave it? I won't say his name. I don't know if they.

00:59:53:07 – 01:00:18:00
I don't even know if listened to this, but you'll know he is when he has his story. A mate of mine, was out at a pub, comes broke, absolutely battered. Gets into bed. Sorry. Yeah, he gets home and he takes a mars bar up to bed. Okay, lovely. He's hammered. He she was a mars bar.

01:00:18:02 – 01:00:28:23
He he takes off all these clothes. He works Italian and puts porn on. Well, while he's eating his Mars bar.

01:00:29:00 – 01:00:36:05
He falls asleep, and he wakes up in the morning.

01:00:36:07 – 01:01:00:06
And there's chocolate all over his body. It's naked all over his body. And his mum. During the night it came on and turned these TV off. Oh, no, you must have heard the porn turned off and then looked at him. And he's just naked, covered in chocolate. Oh my God, that is Jesus Christ, you know. Do you know what I'm talking about?

01:01:00:08 – 01:01:17:10
I've no idea. And I can't wait to jump off this spot. A fun final thing before we we move on, Rick, is that. Yeah. So what? I was really hammered one night, and I was starving. You know, you get be hungry like you've eaten, you've been drinking, gets about 1:00 in the morning or whatever it might be, and you're starving.

01:01:17:12 – 01:01:44:23
Yeah. You know, I'm talking about, after all, white people get kebabs and shit right in the night. Yeah, I, I made burger, veggie burger, veggie burger. Yeah, with the soup. Noodles. Chicken soup. Nader's. All right. Well, yeah, a burger with chicken soup and noodles in the middle of it. Well, well, in a sandwich and and veggie burger.

01:01:45:00 – 01:02:02:07
Like the cheese slices. What's that? And finally, you know, you remember that little Manhattan round pizzas? Little. The small ones in Manhattan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of them. Well remember that.

01:02:02:09 – 01:02:36:17
In between the bun pizza soup. So this other cheese. But this one, this. So was it, was it a roll or was it a sandwich. It was it was it was a roll back burger. Back. Right. Okay. So so you did have a bit of it's stack up stage in that. Yeah. What. There was nothing. There was no extra slices of bread for like to divide that club sandwich you've got like the lettuce and a no, no, no, no.

01:02:36:17 – 01:02:55:06
So it was just pizza. The pizza. Super noodles and cheese. I mean, and that's that's something I didn't want to tell people when I woke up and when I was up, thank God I didn't come downstairs and find me. You know, I didn't be sitting there with a pizza with the bun 1:00 in the morning. Now a.

01:02:55:08 – 01:03:19:03
It's absolutely disgusting. And would you would you have a sandwich? No, it's a bogus. I don't know what it was. It was a fucking monstrosity. That's what it was. I think we'll end that there. Yeah, right. We've got dilemmas and something of, you know, for next week's topic, we're going to be talking about Christmas Day. So what does your Christmas Day look like?

01:03:19:05 – 01:03:40:12
What are your family traditions? The snacks and nibbles. The timings. Do you do presents first? Do you have your dinner at 12:00? What is the worst Christmas date you've ever had? I know the worst Christmas day I've ever had. I know that I want to hear you. I want to hear the audience is your mum went to work instead of being there when it.

01:03:40:14 – 01:04:02:04
Yeah, my mum went to work to help adults with learning disabilities, which is a really noble thing to do on Christmas Day. Yeah. And, me and my sister, I can't even remember where we were, but my, my mum wasn't there on Christmas Day morning. It was just me, my sister and I can't remember who, maybe grandparent or even next to.

01:04:02:04 – 01:04:18:22
No, I don't even know how they have your mum. Because she was helping. Yeah. Never let her live that down. Well, see, that's that's on you, Ricky, you're the problem here. No, I'm not the problem. Your mum, she's my my my mama. What, have you been a mum on Christmas Day? When you're a kid, she's got us.

01:04:18:22 – 01:04:36:03
She's got an important job in helping people with learning difficulties. Yeah, I know, but, you know, I'm going to the things I love about you today. Ricky's. You don't care about the people with learning difficulties, and you don't care about the homeless as long as you're warm inside. I care about people with learning disabilities greatly, but not on Christmas Day.

01:04:36:03 – 01:05:06:13
And if it concerns my mum, I and the homeless thing. I volunteered for two years at a homeless camp. You did you do that? Why did you do that? Because when me and my daughters were, we were out shopping or something like that, and there was quite a few homeless people, and I was giving them money. And then I got to a stage where I'd given out quite a bit of money, and I thought this, you're asking me questions.

01:05:06:15 – 01:05:33:07
And I think one of my daughters mentioned something about maybe drugs or something like that. And I was like, no, that's not, that's, that's not the case. That's the misconception. I started explaining about how people, do become homeless and I and the, the different types of homelessness that, that people suffer with. And then I would go to work in the morning and I'd still see loads of homeless people and I'd give them money.

01:05:33:07 – 01:05:54:20
And then there must be something more that I can do then, you know, giving them a pound or pounds 50 or whatever as I'm walking past. So I decided to, for two seasons to volunteer at a Milton Keynes homeless shelter. What did you find? What did you do? Why did you stop? Was it too much? Well, it Covid happened.

01:05:55:00 – 01:06:20:10
I say it's Covid finished now. Yeah. It's finished. And now I've. I've done my two years of living in Syria, so it's kind of like. So I was going out on a was it two days a week on Monday and a Thursday from six in the afternoon o 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. or 510. But I wanted my kids to see me where I was going and why I was going there today.

01:06:20:10 – 01:06:39:13
What is important? They remember it now. They remember every single bit of it. And they know why. And when I did that and all stuff. So that was it was to teach them a lesson, but then also to I couldn't keep giving them 1.50 pound but I could give them a time as for free. So I did that.

01:06:39:14 – 01:07:09:03
Right. Right. Yeah. So if you've got, Christmas Day stuff, I many people have different traditions and we would like to hear your traditions and how your Christmas Day looks compared to everyone else, and especially the people that are listening to this podcast from all across the globe. We did a Spotify Unwrapped for this podcast, and this podcast is listened in over 60 countries.

01:07:09:06 – 01:07:35:07
It really 60 countries across the globe on Spotify. Listen to this podcast. Now we want to hear from you guys on how you celebrate Christmas and how your day looks. So I'm Alison at large. Anon pot at gmail.com. And we are going to jump into dilemmas.

01:07:35:09 – 01:08:02:00
So just started you got an issue for a tissue. You're a bit sad cause cat will taste you and I can in your soul, alone in your flat. Please talk to Vicky. Offended? Let that stress off your chest. Well, friend, you deserve play like you're safe here to get nice warm between Vicky your legs.

01:08:02:02 – 01:08:39:07
Got a dilemma for ya. I'm 23 year old lad who has been in a relationship for almost three years. The relationship is amazing and everything I could ever want it to be, where almost everything in the whole relationship. I've had two blowjobs, which only ever happen when my missus has too much to drink. After listening to Jason. So Jason is Jay a fun times of Laughter now is a podcast that Flav does with another person.

01:08:39:09 – 01:08:56:13
I should have gone into my car. I guess it's a it's a football and a football podcast. Go and check it out though. You said another person that you did want to name him like, yeah, the jealousy issue. No. Yeah. They were they raised. They want to go take the give and seem like it's out of that fucking like that boy.

01:08:56:15 – 01:09:27:01
Is flying. Recently I noticed your bit about asking for blowjobs, and it made me realize the situation I am in isn't exactly normal. The dilemma I'm having is that I crave blowjobs every time we get down to it, but she straight up refuses. Should I get bros to do it once a month to tame the urge? Yeah, or explain how I'm feeling where the risk of her going off, going off on me and potentially leaving me.

01:09:27:03 – 01:09:46:03
Now, I'll be honest it. I haven't listened to Jasmine and that episode. Can you remember what this blowjob asking was? So we were talking about it. I think we spoke about it as well. Maybe. Or maybe it's on the fighting cock. I know, I think it was, it was actually the preview pod behind the table, I think.

01:09:46:04 – 01:10:07:11
Right. And it was anyway, it doesn't the it was. Why is it, why is it, why don't men ask for blowjobs from their wife? It's. You just can't can you? Can't have a blowjob like middle of the day. So you're laughing because it's weird. You couldn't say that, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's. There's an etiquette to it. You can't ask for a blowjob.

01:10:07:13 – 01:10:27:03
And we're trying to figure out why. Why can't. You can ask for a cup of tea. You can ask for a lift to the train station. You can ask for a cuddle or something special for tea. Yeah. You can even ask for sex to some degree. Yeah, but you can't. In the middle of. They got to your wife and go.

01:10:27:03 – 01:10:48:05
Can I have a blowjob, please? Oh, certainly. Most people can't. Yeah. So we're just trying to figure out why is that the case? So then we put a challenge out to people to do that, to video themselves asking for a blowjob from their missus. And we had, we had about 2 or 3 people do it. So can I have a, can I have a blowjob and undergo in what.

01:10:48:07 – 01:11:11:06
Okay. Well yes. Yes. So kind of a blowjob then. Shit. No. And you go okay. And that was video that said. And we played the video, the winner was when the lad went, can I have a blowjob? And she went, yeah. And he got himself a blowjob. However, it isn't normal. Amazing. Yeah, that was amazing. So that was what the situation was and we just asked, but can I just answer the question though, because.

01:11:11:08 – 01:11:37:18
Yeah. Yeah. Yes. It's not. Some people don't want to do it. They don't like they don't like the idea of of that. And some men don't like going down on women. Eva. No. And how much can you crave a blowjob, really? You think? I think you crave it because you don't get it like that. That's the thing I don't, I don't craving.

01:11:37:20 – 01:11:55:16
I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say I crave them. You'd like one that you always. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think really, isn't it. Yeah. Just to be near it. That'd be nice. But just to blow on it, you don't even have to touch it.

01:11:55:18 – 01:12:15:16
Should you go to a bra? I think that's always the best. The first solution to every problem relationship problem is a bra. I think you just got to accept that isn't something she wants to do. Is more important things in relationships than these things. And you just have to suck it up and not have one.

01:12:15:18 – 01:12:39:05
Do you think it's even worth, approaching the subject of women? It. Because you can't ask for ask for sex? I don't think because he and Ben Bowman now does, he said it's the problem with it. Asking for it is, you see, seem needy and desperate. Yeah. And that's not a sexy place to be needy and desperate. No, that's.

01:12:39:05 – 01:13:06:00
No, that is not a great place to be it. So now I would say that there is maybe a if not to say you're sitting there, say, please, please, can I have a blowjob in that manner? But just maybe if there's something on telly and something like that happens and you'd be like, oh man, I, I love a blowjob or just something just to kind of subtly flow in there.

01:13:06:00 – 01:13:23:09
Once you've done that seed and she knows, leave it, never talk about it again. And if it happens because she knows that you like that and she and she still doesn't want to do it, that that's that's the lay of the land. Forget about it. Yeah. So you're saying, like, just float the ball in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:13:23:09 – 01:13:48:21
She connects with it. Don't don't whip it in. Relatable. Not really in not in. Yeah yeah yeah. Just float it. Just float it. Yeah. Maybe she, she might be in the back post. Yeah. You didn't smoke on the end of it. Yeah. Okay. And now we're going to go into, actually inside of a diet. Oh. Like a cheeky Dayak black.

01:13:48:23 – 01:14:09:19
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah. Just see if she gets on and on the end of that track and so. Yeah. Okay. All right, well, we're moving on to, something only you know.

01:14:09:21 – 01:14:16:13
Why something, you know.

01:14:16:15 – 01:14:47:16
This is the single and biggest mistake of my life. And the embarrassment I feel for doing this lives on the back of my mind to this day. When I was about eight during Euro 2016 match attacks. With a craze amongst my friends, all our lives essentially revolved around the Euro match attacks. I'm one of my best friends from primary school, had a limited edition, signed Gareth Bale as a bunch of Welsh kids.

01:14:47:22 – 01:15:15:24
This card was possibly the best thing ever to own. One time when I went around his house, I saw the card left out. When he went to the toilet, I couldn't help myself so I slipped it into my pocket. A few days later, he was crying, saying he'd lost the card, and I knew at this point I'd gone too far, but is now beyond the point of no return.

01:15:16:01 – 01:15:46:04
I had the card and felt so guilty about it. My next move. I didn't even see this coming. I threw it off the side of a ferry while I was going on holiday. I have no idea why I did this in my state of panic. I've never told him about this. Eight years later, and he occasionally still brings up the fact that the card that the card is now lost, and he and he's still sad to this day that he lost it.

01:15:46:06 – 01:16:05:11
And that is something only I know. Why didn't he just place it back somewhere in the house so he could find it? Why don't you throw it off the side of the fairy box? I just love the human condition of when you're in, get rid of just and off the side of a fairy. No one's ever going to find this off the side of a fairy.

01:16:05:12 – 01:16:24:12
What? What she takes card. Was it? It was a signed Gareth Bale one. Oh, some of the Welsh, but it would have been, you know, that would have been the go card. Win it back then. Some of them are super valuable as well. The match takes and I just bobbing around in the sea somewhere. Absolutely love that.

01:16:24:14 – 01:16:41:12
To get rid of it just to win a game. Getting called far away from me as possible, floating off the side of a ferry. It's unreal. So easy to fix that problem just when he secretly just put it down the side of the sofa and find his mum was like, oh yeah, just even if you're at school, just leave it.

01:16:41:12 – 01:17:05:04
It is not by his desk or something like that. No one would have to know. Yeah, but you know, fucking it off the side of a fairy that is, that's that's great. So for next week's pod, the topic is Christmas Day and how you spend Christmas Day. Your traditions, what family come round, places you go. What time do you open your presents?

01:17:05:04 – 01:17:28:00
When do you have your meal? When do the cheese and crackers get brought out? Is it early afternoon? Is it evening? Oh no. Early afternoon. It's like literally nine. Oh I probably got a bit earlier but yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe let's give it some people might even go early in the morning. Not as stupid. I can't, I can't make it through the day without falling asleep.

01:17:28:00 – 01:17:49:15
I've never been able to. And and it's not me that's not normally what I do, but something about Christmas. Start drinking super early, then. That's the thing. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So it's the red wine. It's the red wine. As you're cooking, I see milling about fucking absolutely love it. So anything that you've got about Christmas Day, your traditions send it in to lads.

01:17:49:17 – 01:18:00:03
Unknown pod at gmail.com. And until then, we will see you on Monday.

01:18:00:05 – 01:18:23:13
The night hazy light Band of brothers playing tunes high as quiet midnight waves. Surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm of different ways. Love of music. We prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band is we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise.