#56 | New Year’s Resolutions | FOLLOW these steps for an amazing 2025

00:00:02:15 – 00:00:32:23
Why don't males recommend porn links to each other? That's a good point. I've never done that. Like we. Us. I mean, like, it doesn't even have to be my like, but any like we recommend restaurants, holidays, trainers. I like all these things, but we never say check this link out is so true. Have a look at this. I think it's about a couple of things.

00:00:32:23 – 00:00:47:19
I think one thing is about the taboo with pornography. Even if you're open with your mates, we all know we will not want out every now and then. It's an amazing time when blokes get to an age where they're comfortable saying that with each other, because when you're a kid and you're first doing it, you're not comfortable, right?

00:00:47:19 – 00:01:06:07
Because it's a taboo and you should hide it and then it gets of gets worse later. It's well, funny with you with your mates and it just. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joke and talk about it. Scam for a wank. Is that all right? And yeah, even now it's funny as grown men as we are. I think the. But it's still a part of the taboo.

00:01:06:09 – 00:01:27:10
But also you're letting people into your kinks and your little subtleties, like we all close friend of you know, we know that he's into such a niche form of porn. Yeah, yeah. I've never heard of this pornography type of pornography before. And you know exactly what I'm talking about. Me, I dare you. Well, I mean, it could be a couple of people, and it could be a couple of things.

00:01:27:15 – 00:01:53:03
Right. Well, you you describe the porn, and I'll do it as well. Okay. So a woman is holding a man up in her arms, and while he's got basically shoulder height to her, she is sucking him off like, it's like she's playing the bagpipes with another human. That's exactly what I was thinking about. Yeah.

00:01:53:05 – 00:02:16:21
I actually loves it. I know, I mean, it is that it's really. It's proper niche. I don't love it, I think. No, no, no, I think there's nothing but good things about that, man. That, it's a good point. Like. Well. Well, maybe I don't, I, I don't know, I mean, I don't want to be like, like you saying about the kink shaming, and it might not even be a kink for me.

00:02:16:23 – 00:02:41:07
I might see something and I'm like, five, check this out and you better. But you not want out to her, mate. She's grim. Look at her teeth. And I'm like, you've ruined that for me now. Like I was really into, I don't know, Claire. And now it's been ruined because all I'm thinking about is their teeth that you don't like.

00:02:41:09 – 00:02:59:20
And it's just weird that I just don't fit. Is anyone anybody's business? What? What, did you get email in or something? Is that why you bring this up? Yeah, yeah. So we got an email in and it was, it was to that. And then he put up the note coming out. Oh sorry. After knocking one out. What for me was peak pornography.

00:02:59:22 – 00:03:24:21
I thought that video is so good. The girl all the time. Premium cock and the perfect bump and grind. I must tell a mate about it, but I can't. I never have, nor has anyone ever shared a link with me. All my mates, a filthy pigs. And I'm old enough to have lived in the VHS and DVD days similar I just to back then the odd video or DVD would get passed around.

00:03:24:22 – 00:03:44:00
Keep things fresh but yet the simple link has never been shared. I mean, do you remember no one said that there was a kid back where he lived and he said they would pay him like $4 to draw him a picture of, like, pornography because he couldn't have access. So he just draw pornography? Yeah. Georgia of vaginas. Vaginas.

00:03:44:01 – 00:04:05:23
It may pay him $4 so they can take the picture home. It's like that happened to me. Well, yeah, there's a kid called Colton at my school, and he would draw, like, like women with massive knockers, with these massive cock sisters and all all over him. And he was, like, brilliant at drawing cartoons. I didn't, I told me one, draw me one, draw me one.

00:04:06:00 – 00:04:37:08
He died. Unfortunately. Nine wasted. Like the talent. Yeah. Wasted talent. Did you ever, like, request, say, like. Come on. I love what you're doing, but can you, can you not draw the veiny cock spanking all over the woman? That's part of the fun. Like a couple of us, like, can you put the cock on the woman? That.

00:04:37:10 – 00:05:03:09
The night hazy like Band of brothers playing tunes high is quite midnight waves. Surfing free till daylight breaks rhythm. Here's different ways. Love of music are. We prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band as I we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise.

00:05:03:11 – 00:05:25:18
Hello and welcome to Louds. Anonymous is episode 56 I'm Ricky Haze Flav, two best mates, one main topic we answer your life dilemmas and confessions and our feature something only you know. And everything remains anonymous always. So sit back, relax and enjoy the pot. How's it going, Flav? How was your M? I haven't caught up with you about New Year.

00:05:25:20 – 00:05:59:02
Like, obviously back in the day, New Year was a. Oh, it was an affair, wasn't it? It was, heavy, heavy day. Evening. Yeah. It would be. It would be that I think there was a period around crush on Crouch and. Yeah, where we are 2 or 3 New Years and it was just man, I mean, it was always heavy at the weekends anyway, but New Year's was something else and I was we would go a time who didn't really go out at that time partying.

00:05:59:02 – 00:06:12:07
Yeah. And I was like, I really, really wanted to go to a party. And I remember it been 4 a.m. and she called me, and when are you coming home? It's 4 a.m. it's New Year's Day now. And I was at.

00:06:12:09 – 00:06:17:04
I don't want.

00:06:17:06 – 00:06:43:09
Yeah. Just don't be angry. I'm not coming home yet. But it was terrible. But I should have been home for him as long enough. It's. Yeah. Yeah, but I was at that time completely naked, enjoying the warmth from underfloor heating. No, nothing sexual. Was just naked because I'd had a shower for some reason in someone's flat and, and that underfloor heating in the on their wooden floors.

00:06:43:11 – 00:07:04:21
So I was lying flat on like off the off my tits. The good times that it's, like having a shower around someone. Did you know this person? Right. Okay. That's what I knew. The personal with it was Justin I was with. Yeah, but but the it was his girlfriend's house who had never met Bob. Had a show, I find it.

00:07:04:23 – 00:07:23:05
Yeah. Yeah, I remember we got back and we. This is. I mean, I'm not condoning this in any way, and it's there's something I'm going to talk about later, which is a byproduct of all of these sort of behaviors that I used to get up to. But I remember getting back and we, we poured all of our drugs that we had left on us on the table.

00:07:23:07 – 00:07:53:20
And I was like, we can't do that. That's there's too much there. But I always say, did you always do? Yeah. New Year's, was was different back then what it is now. I stayed at home, I didn't drink. Yeah, yeah, I said you didn't have anyone round. So you. So the plan was for Oli to have, 2 to 2 girlfriends over and a sister over, which I was dreading because.

00:07:53:22 – 00:08:10:08
Not that I love them all. They're great, but I was dreading it because I wasn't drinking and they were going to be drinking. And it's almost like you're obliged to sit at the table. But how long can you sit with, like, a gaggle of drunk women before you want to leave? So I and then my missus had, I don't know what I was.

00:08:10:08 – 00:08:34:15
She decided she wanted to go into town. So she messaged me saying we taxi us in and out of town and that I did that instead. So. So I was just I watched, what can but powerful. That was Black Panther. Right. So you you didn't decide to even have a casual like a single beer or so you've been off the beer since Christmas Day.

00:08:34:15 – 00:09:00:24
Really? Boxing day, boxing day. Yeah. Well, sure there is. No. Yeah, I mean, not why? Why the fuck not? So, the topic we are going to be discussing today is New Year's resolutions. I don't know how you feel about New Year's resolutions, because I've seen a lot of people chatting that New Year's resolutions is a load of ballocks.

00:09:01:01 – 00:09:17:05
It's it. You should be getting the stuff that you want to be changing about your life. You should be changing it anyway. You don't need to wait for a new year to say, I'm no longer going to fucking take drugs. I'm going to get up earlier in the morning. I'm going to do I'm not suck your dick anymore.

00:09:17:05 – 00:09:40:04
I'm not doing it. Yeah, yeah, I got enough all of that, and that. But then there are other people that are like, you know what, let's shovel in the last of the gamblin of the coke, of the vaping of the beer, drink, whatever it might be. And then from now on, this is the line in the sand.

00:09:40:04 – 00:10:01:15
This is where it fucking stops. I've had enough of this noise now, and we march forwards. Yeah. So a lot of you, which can be you in like I'm in the camp that if anything that's that enables people to make positive changes in their life, then why should you be hating on it? Well, like what? I get it.

00:10:01:15 – 00:10:21:17
If you're like David Goggins, like, every day's January 1st, every day you run until you die. I get that kind of mentality. But that's not normal, is it? He's fucking mentally disabled like he's a he's not. There's nothing normal about how what David Goggins is not appreciate his story is interesting story, but and he is inspiring to a lot of people.

00:10:21:17 – 00:10:39:23
And people say it's toxic and whatnot. But, you know, if he's encouraging people to get up and start moving, that's a positive thing, I think. But yeah, no, there's nothing wrong with you. I generally or stock towbar or, you know, all of these things. If it encourages people to make positive decisions, then and so be it.

00:10:39:23 – 00:10:59:05
All I would say, however, is I've done dry January before. I've gone through a month. And you're the mindset for me at that stage. It's a couple years ago was got to go get to January 31st, then I can start drinking again. That was what I was focused on. I'll just get to that deadline so I can start thinking and thank Christ.

00:10:59:07 – 00:11:22:03
Let's start drinking again. Yeah. And then which case is what's the point? You haven't done anything. You've not moved the dial in shift. I want to say that in case people, what I'm saying is, if you're binge drinking or drinking every day from January 31st all the way to December, I don't think that Dry January is going to make a huge amount of difference to your health and longevity.

00:11:22:05 – 00:11:41:10
I might be wrong, but if you use that as a starting block and many people day, then it's a super positive thing and you've in it. Often you feel like you need to be in it with other people. So yeah, why not? Yeah, hating on it for hating on it sake. I mean hate on stuff that needs to be hated on like, I don't know, pedophilia like that to up your attention.

00:11:41:10 – 00:12:03:13
Don't hate on someone. We give them up. Drink after Christmas sake. Yeah. I, I'm in that camp of, obviously whenever, at whatever time you decide to change something good for you, you fucking go for it. But I'm also 1st of January. Let's draw a line in the sand. I've always wanted to do this. I've had my mind on it.

00:12:03:15 – 00:12:32:24
I've been flip flopping. I've been saying right after that, lads, do out. Then I'll stop after, going to this football match and then I'll knock it on the air doing all of that stuff. And now it is January and I am moving along with my, my plans kind of. What is it you're giving up? Self self-improvement. So the first thing that I have actually given up is vaping.

00:12:33:01 – 00:12:56:15
So. Oh, really? Yeah. So in September you gave up cigarettes, you started gaming, you went heavily because a lot of people do. They lean into the vape heavily don't they. Yeah. Yeah yeah, yeah. So I stopped smoking rotis in September. I went out with the, the gunners that listen to the pod and I, it was a filthy night.

00:12:56:15 – 00:13:11:22
It was one of those nights where I like the hanger. I was sick at 8:00 in the evening. Hang on a second. Is this the evening we were talking about the other day? Well, you went out and you. You supposed to go football the next day. No, no, no, that's different, that's different. That's. When was this. That was different.

00:13:11:22 – 00:13:39:15
Now this is back in September. I went to see my bed. A couple of, tribute bands, at pulp, what they called, pulped and, I can't remember what it was. I think they were just called blur. And the beauty of this cover band that they came out did blur. It was brought in. Round of applause went off, pulp came on, first thing started, and I was like, some geezer.

00:13:39:17 – 00:14:01:19
That's the same. That's the same fucking geezer. He's got a wig on. And it was the same band. And they thought they both brilliantly. Really had a lovely night. What a bloody good night. But Yeah, I got fucking. It was just horrendous. And then, you know, after when you're so hung out you for days on end and you look at your cigarettes and you just I can't, I can't even do that.

00:14:01:19 – 00:14:19:06
And it's been three days. And then after that I was like, you know, I've not had a roadie for three days. Why don't I just fuck them off completely? Did you feel like I just them to have them? Not at that point, because I was still hung over and that was the best point to attack. Three days later, I was still fit.

00:14:19:08 – 00:14:41:10
Still fit in anxiety. Edgy, right? No. Not great. So it was a mixture of things. I thought if I, if I stop then and don't pick up the robberies and I eventually when I get out of that funk five days into it and I want to do something, just go grab the vape. So then I started vaping. I started vaping hard.

00:14:41:10 – 00:15:00:20
I was, you know, working from home, vaping in my office, lasting at night, lying in bed while the missus is asleep, roll in over having, you know, see secret couple of vapes by the bed. Yeah, by the bed. Yeah, yeah. Just got I haven't got out by myself. Why did you have to be secretive about a vape, for fuck's sake?

00:15:00:22 – 00:15:26:14
Yeah, I get it rolling over and having a line of gear, but not fucking beats. I don't want to be lying in bed. Got vaping like some fucking. So it's fine if you know about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, it's not fine because it was eating away at me. But and then as well, like the part of vaping where you would take a pull and you'd get some sweet flavored liquid on your lip was kind of my lungs.

00:15:26:16 – 00:15:53:06
Yeah. What was going on? Like, what am I doing? So then January the 1st, I was like, do you know what? That's it. I'm done. I'm done with vaping. Done with cigarettes. Makes me feel terrible. And I just it does nothing positive for me. Nothing. None of it is positive. No one such a. This is the realization I've been coming to in the in the last sort of, well, ten days.

00:15:53:06 – 00:16:21:05
So basically before Christmas, I went to, I went to the doctor's, because I've got an operation I had like a pre-op examination, and they, they did my blood pressure and it was super high. It was like there's three stages of hypertension. And I was in stage two, which is isn't good at 30, 43. And there are a number of reasons, like my nan died at 40, 59 from complications due to high blood pressure, you know, sleep.

00:16:21:07 – 00:16:40:24
That's fucking well young. Yeah. 59. Yeah. It was it's a shock is a big shock. But remember they didn't have the motor in there. They do now. They just never been picked up. Perishes basically. Yeah. And my mum also has it and she's on medication to bring it down. Luckily now they have pills that bring blood pressure right down and it can be managed really easy.

00:16:41:01 – 00:17:06:24
So it's not scary as it once was. But for me it was alarming because I'm 43 and, I'm like, well, how have I let this happen? I knew how I'd let it happen, but I was almost like in denial that there was anything wrong. And so they said, you need to get this down, and ideally do it through a change of lifestyle.

00:17:07:01 – 00:17:34:02
So my lifestyle pretty much for the last, well, since Covid is more or less drinking most days, there'll be some weeks where I drink every day. And when as soon as I drink, I start smoking. Yeah, and most of my day spent sitting in this chair, completely sedentary. And that combination of free things and smashing loads of coffee as well, all of those four things, all, like they push hard heart pressure up.

00:17:34:04 – 00:18:04:20
So there's a there's a sort of cocktail of all of those negative behaviors. And, and the fact that I have a history in, of it in my family. So I was that right? I don't have a choice here. This isn't a New Year's resolution. This is something that has to happen. It's a change in lifestyle. And I've got to say, right, there were times where I was like, I'd get up and I was fucking hung over again, and I'd just get up, get on with it, go to work, walk the dog, whatever it would be.

00:18:04:22 – 00:18:23:14
I just was like, felt terrible. And there was a moment where that about three weeks ago, well, it's a take. I had to sit down. I felt so sort of lethargic. I had to sit down and I was like, this is not right. And then I went to a doctor's and then they they did that, the blood pressure and stuff.

00:18:23:14 – 00:18:48:17
And we did. You have to sit down because you was so hungover. No, we're just not you. You just had no energy. Like I just fell on my mum. It felt like my muscles were, like, fatigued. They were like. They were like. Like I'd run. That's what it felt like. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, if you don't mind me asking, what was your.

00:18:48:19 – 00:19:13:22
Because when you say you like drinking every day, there is the second drink up in one's mind. Could be mateys. Got eight cans of fucking Stella every night. I need pop in a can every single night. Or is it the. The kind of one? It's this aspirational relationship of wine with dinner and then another bottle while you're watching a film with me, is that it?

00:19:13:23 – 00:19:40:16
Just. It just where I was. I have a day after day. Yeah. It's that it was the habit of. So I've got a really positive connection with wine, my wife, our relationship, how we met each other, the really kind of wonderful parts of the early start of our relationship involved a lot of red wine going to France and sitting by the sea and looking out and drinking with Brian and sitting on a sofa, light in the fire, having a glass of red wine.

00:19:40:17 – 00:20:04:17
All that is lovely and romantic. Yeah. Feels great. Don't be wrong, I miss it, but, I adjust and then towards the end of the night, you'll have a glass of whiskey, too. I mean, not every night, especially at weekends. The boxes on this open of whiskey, football's on. If it's like a 730 kick off, a couple of beers, whiskey sitting down.

00:20:04:20 – 00:20:26:11
Dad on a Friday night. So it all adds up. Yeah. And compounded by the fact that I was doing nothing by moving. I wasn't moving me. I was I was just sitting and, and so, Yeah, the, the, the nurse said, you need this is too high y too high. You need to do five readings with your your blood test.

00:20:26:13 – 00:20:43:16
Let's see if this is a normal reading for you or it's just an anomaly. Anyway, I did another one and it was still high, so I was like, I've got a I've got a change. And then on on Boxing Day I said that I would never I'm going to have some time off of alcohol. At that time I thought do joy January see if has.

00:20:43:17 – 00:21:11:20
Yeah but but now I'm thinking I'm never going to drink again. Probably. I'm probably never going to touch ever, ever, ever. Yeah, it's not worth it, mate. And the more the more, the more I think about alcohol, my relationship with it, the more mental it seems. Because I think about it and I'm like, well, what what what you said what did you say about vaping and about tobacco?

00:21:11:22 – 00:21:40:04
It does. Yeah. There's no point, no positive aspect whatsoever. There is absolutely zero positives from, from tobacco, vaping. And you could say alcohol. Now, there are some when you say that and it's not true, you got to be honest. There are some positive things about alcohol, social lubricant. You can enjoy it with your friends, but it's got to a stage where that isn't enough for them.

00:21:40:06 – 00:22:02:07
The negative impacts of what alcohol does to me specifically. So, and the reason why you all have these cravings and why you have a cravings for cigarette is because you're smoking, because you're drinking, and it's that cycle of you have withdrawal. So you drink to to sedate the anxiety of not having a drink of all that need to want one.

00:22:02:12 – 00:22:24:06
Same with cigarettes. And the more you use, the more you smoke, the more that those withdrawals, the more intense those withdrawals are. And the only way to stop that is to stop smoking. Stop drinking. Yeah. And at this weird realization is that I every time I have a sip of alcohol, immediately, I want a cigarette immediately. Yeah, yeah.

00:22:24:12 – 00:22:47:11
The first step. Yeah, I'd want a cigarette. You know what? I haven't craved a cigarette in ten days. I haven't even have. You know, I know I swear on my on all these life. And you know how much I love I. Yeah, yeah. Where on her life strike her dead now if I'm lying. Oh, shit. I have not even thought about a cigarette.

00:22:47:13 – 00:23:10:21
It's not even come into my mind. And then I'm wondering, well, what cigarettes are the most addictive? You know, nicotine. Most one of those addictive long heroin substances on the planet. So how is it, then, that I've had no cravings for for for cigarettes. I have cravings for alcohol. Don't be wrong. 100%. Yeah, yeah, but for cigarettes. Someone gave me a cigarette.

00:23:10:21 – 00:23:37:21
Now go. Go. Not that I wouldn't smoke it. I wouldn't want to. There'd be nothing. You, me. Go. I want that cigarette until I've had a drink. So? So how real is, how real is. Are these sort of perceived addictive nature? Perceived addictive? What? My work. Searching for traits in human beings. But surely if I'm addicted to cigarettes, as I should be, because it smokes a lot, why is it that I have no cravings at all?

00:23:37:23 – 00:24:10:01
And if I don't have any cravings, and maybe they're not as addictive as people think, but you you're you get into a habit or a thought process of thinking, I need them. Which is stronger than the actual product. Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah, completely. I think it is. I literally just about in that. So I think it comes down to, a mindset of where by that I would easily vape or smoke and be drinking and summertime and sociable and it's fun and all these other things.

00:24:10:03 – 00:24:36:11
And I'm at the point now where I've got to this day for after I went out full steam in The hangover bind off Rawlings. And it's just, you know, that one too many times and we've all had them and then we all go back to it. But, at this very moment in time, while I'm sitting here chatting to you, Flav, is that I don't want to wake up feeling not shit anymore.

00:24:36:13 – 00:25:13:19
I really don't I want to feel as a close to 100% as possible. I want to be running efficient, you know? I mean, I can't allow you can't, you can't. And alcohol and smoking cigarettes and vaping and whatever else, you can't I can't go to bed at night and wake up in the morning and then be like, ready for the day of what I need to do for my family and for myself if I'm hung over or if I need to go to smoke or go to the shop and, you know, or just any of that stuff, it all rolls and so on, really.

00:25:13:21 – 00:25:37:11
And at this moment I, you know, I don't I don't want to fight that. There's been a couple of times I say in my routine every evening I would start doing my Duolingo and learning Spanish, Spanish, Spanish. I'm on about, 700 and something consecutive days learning Spanish. So you must be able to speak Spanish, right?

00:25:37:13 – 00:26:01:21
Speaking Spanish, I can do different sentences and stuff like that, but the reading and listening, I reckon I couldn't read Spanish if you gave me a, a book or something like that I could pick out from a book or menu or whatever, I would know what is what is saying, along those lines, you could, you could, you could sort of understand a paragraph in a book.

00:26:01:23 – 00:26:31:00
Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Really. That's good. Right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. For sure. And listening. Sorry, I don't speak Spanish, but could you answer in Spanish? How where is the bank? Done there. Hasta el banco. What's that mean? Where is the bank? Now tell me where the bank is. El banco. Tala Recto.

00:26:31:02 – 00:26:52:14
That means straight down. Yeah, I like it. Get a drink. I don't know if he's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. There you go. That's it. But this is. I think if you just fucking fucked on alcohol every day. Hung over and drawn out. Strung out. Would you want to do Duolingo? Probably not. No. But when I lay down and I'm dead, my Duolingo just slouch on the sofa.

00:26:52:14 – 00:27:12:21
That's when I'd get the vape out, and that's where I'd just be like, it's. It's the 11:00 to 12 before I got a bed. The vaping. And that's been where I've thought about it, but I've just been watching the Duolingo go to bed. Forget about during the day. I'm safe. I'm fine. I'm sound. Yeah. That that that is it.

00:27:12:21 – 00:27:37:22
The the the other thing as well. Like what I've just mentioned there and I spoke about this on the pod many a time. You know what I'm like grip Flav. You know what I'm like. But I am trying. I'm trying. And it's this new, renewed optimism of health is wealth and not feeling like shit, not being hung over.

00:27:37:23 – 00:27:59:14
Not, you know, all of that stuff is to try to get a good night's sleep. And that doesn't mean when I go to sleep I'm tossing and turning and this and that. When I go to sleep, I'm. I'm sound. I don't need any, kind of tablets to make me go to sleep or. Oh, that's fine. It's drift off straight away.

00:27:59:16 – 00:28:24:15
Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty much pretty much. And I go to bed at half 12 and then I'll wake up at half six, but when I wake up, like I've, I've got to a point now where I feel like I cannot open my eyes in the morning like they're so sunken in and I'm so tired. You need more than six hours.

00:28:24:17 – 00:28:41:15
You're not fully resting. I'm. I'm looking at my Fitbit and it's like five hours. And something about that is ridiculous. I don't even have children to get up for in the middle of the night and all that long, like babies I'm talking about. So what, are you going to push yourself to bed earlier than Ricky? Is that your New Year's resolution?

00:28:41:17 – 00:29:03:19
My New Year's resolution is to is to start, maybe like 11:00. And I want to get down to 10:00. I want to I want to stop. This is what. So this is two pronged. Really? Yeah. So this is a bit of health and this is a bit of self-development. 930 in bed reading a book. Good. 10:00 1015 lights out, lights out.

00:29:03:21 – 00:29:26:07
You'll feel so much better, Rick. Do that. Just do it for a week. Give yourself a week like this. Is somebody like giving up alcohol is like, just give yourself. Like I decided because I knew that I had to on boxing, Boxing Day to give up alcohol, and knowing full well that there was still a week of festivities and the, New Year's Day.

00:29:26:07 – 00:29:49:11
Right. And he's I've rather I can't tell you. I said, I'll keep on. Let me start now, because I've got you because of the blood pressure, I can't tell you. I feel like a different man. Honestly, Rick, I feel like I feel like me times five. And that's just the start of it. I can't. How? Of sleeping. Well,

00:29:49:13 – 00:30:17:11
Look, let me look, I just I wrote down the things that alcohol did to me and made me feel right. Oh. Did you? Yeah. So. So there was, like, ache and body. Yeah. Waking up at 4 a.m. in the morning, desperately thirsty. Because obviously alcohol authority, having that feeling that I'm damaging myself, that anxiety that I'm actually damaging my body.

00:30:17:13 – 00:30:42:18
Yeah. You know, not being able to work properly or function anywhere near my, capabilities, you know, my relationships, suffering with my kids, not the the relationship. Good. And with the wife is not a problem. But when you're running at 50%, how much how present can you possibly probably be? Yeah. I'm. I'm just like, you get, when you're hung over, you get bit, agony and.

00:30:42:18 – 00:31:06:01
Yeah, no frustrations and stuff. So yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then and then, and then, I've never been heavier in my life. I've never been as this I to say fat but overweight. Yeah. Like, I look at my face is puffy and I look old and I'm like, yeah, what is God? What am I doing? I'm putting the shit in my body that makes me look and feel like all of these things.

00:31:06:03 – 00:31:28:14
Plus I worked out I was I'm free cigarettes and alcohol. I'll save about eight grand a year. Chewing cigarettes are like nearly £20 a packet. I was buying one of them every other day. I'm spending about £79 on one a day, but more or less, more or less. If someone said to me, they said, and I realized, right, right.

00:31:28:14 – 00:31:47:18
If I'm carrying on like this from my heart, my heart pressure, right? And I'm not doing anything about it, I could be dead in eight years. I could be dead. I can be dead in less than that, probably. Rick. Right. That's the reality. High blood pressure. Continued high blood pressure is directly related to strokes and heart attack. Right.

00:31:47:20 – 00:32:08:04
If you don't, if it's undiagnosed, you don't sort it out. So if I had eight years left to live, or I could fuck all that shit off, start exercising, stop drinking, stop smoking, and live for however long I'm going to live for. But by the eight years I have 56 grand. So you've been dead in eight years? I have 56 grand in eight years and feel great.

00:32:08:04 – 00:32:25:04
What the fuck? There's no choice. Well, yeah. What do you weigh? What do you put it down like that? It's fucking wild in it. Yeah, but it just. And, And then I started thinking, well, why am I drinking? What is it that I'm. What is the the trigger that makes me start drinking each day?

00:32:25:06 – 00:32:54:23
Have you, Yeah. Have you found it? Yeah. Do you know what? Yeah, it's it's a it's a it's my body in withdrawal saying you need this. You want this. Yeah. And I'm like yeah. Do. And for the first hour it's great. Feels good. Relaxed I'm just being creative. Feels good. Second hour. Stop being creative. Your brain's not really working properly.

00:32:55:00 – 00:33:17:15
And the third. And to till you go to bed to whatever it might be. It's just chasing the initial feeling of being. Feeling good. Right? So if you can agree that the first hour of drinking alcohol or two hours is good, not it, not holistically, but in that moment is good and that's it. And that's what I've come to understand.

00:33:17:15 – 00:33:43:15
That's it. It's feeling good for two hours because I've drunk the day before worth all of those things I've just listed. And the fact that abiding by the time of 50, no, of course, isn't really. That's the most logical thing in the world. So if you just focus on the logic that when that when that, when that comes to you, when that urge comes to you and it will today and it has done every day between 3 and 5.

00:33:43:17 – 00:34:04:21
So that's that's my witching hour three and five. And then I usually get I'll get home about half, 4 or 5, start cooking dinner, open a bottle of wine. That's where that's where this comes from. So I you the drinking starts between 3 and 5:00 in the afternoon to urge the urge to drink starts then, drive where I when my brain starts going right at that time in it.

00:34:04:23 – 00:34:25:08
That's what it does. My subconscious goes about that time. The withdrawals from yesterday, started to fully kick in. I haven't drunk for whatever it is, 24 hours. Oh, no. Yeah. No, no, listen, more than that now. Yeah, less than that. Listen, that. Because it's night before and your brain goes right. Was time to start thinking about that now because you need that.

00:34:25:08 – 00:34:55:06
Remember you need that. And the reality is, is the only reason I'm feeling like that is because I drink. So it's like a circle. It's like a trap. It's like a cyclical behavior. Negative behavioral. Yeah. And, and like, legitimately the way my mind is now, I'm never going to do it again. I genuinely think, like, I think one day maybe if we don't know, I don't know when I might do it, but I can't I can't do it anymore.

00:34:55:06 – 00:35:21:01
Right. And I feel you. Are you going to go down the, route or route, as our American friends would like to say, of nonalcoholic beverages? That's triggering for me. Yeah, I know I get that. Other people do. Yeah, for them. But for me, it's not a lot of like nonalcoholic beer. A lot of people that drink beer say it doesn't taste like it.

00:35:21:01 – 00:35:40:20
It tastes like shit that don't touch it. Whatever. But I'm not a beer connoisseur, so it's not like if I. If I drank it, I would be like that. Taste that beer. I want a cigarette. Someone can get three for 100 or something. You ever see cocaine, Shane? On on. I love him. Yeah, I love it.

00:35:40:22 – 00:36:03:03
I just can't stop watching him. Yeah, he just tells mental stories about when he used to go. Like, people think you got a cocaine problem. That guy had a problem. He's got no nose left. Like the doctor said, they can't really rebuild his nose because. Because he's just done too much damage to it. Poor bastard. Man. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure he could, but I just think we need these people of, like, gunshot wounds that need this more than you.

00:36:03:05 – 00:36:22:14
Yeah, and like, you think as well. They look at. Oh, he's just going to do coke again. My like we going to rebuild your nose. Yeah. I'm just going to I think they would destroy it again. The likelihood of him relapsing like you like I.

00:36:22:16 – 00:36:41:02
I'm almost certain at this stage and it's only nine days. People who know better than me will, you know, probably scoff at this or laugh at this, but I don't feel like I'll ever do it again. But it's so early on. Whereas him, you know, he's he has relapsed in the last year. So there probably is something in that.

00:36:41:08 – 00:37:03:17
But why was we talking about? I don't know if I know I had a point to to talk about cocaine. Shane, I can't remember. I'm sorry, but this is what booze does, is it starts fucking me. But it's also like for people thinking about giving up, right? You get past, I would say, from one, from day one to day five, it was tough.

00:37:03:19 – 00:37:22:20
Like day five, I had a little like cry. It was that. It was I really. Yeah. I just got, I don't know, watch quite. I got quite emotional about it. I was like, what have I done? And I don't, I don't know if I'm painting myself as a raving alcoholic. Isn't that it wasn't that it was. I wasn't like fall and blacking out drunk or anything like that.

00:37:22:20 – 00:37:41:06
But it was it was just consistent and it was consistent, but it was because it's like red wine and the bottle was relatively expensive. And it isn't white lightning. And I'm not sitting in a park. It doesn't mean it's not still an issue, you know? I mean, how to make that. Is that viewed alcohol in, in that way?

00:37:41:09 – 00:38:03:10
What's the more you pay for it, the better it is. Kind of the more acceptable is I'm not an alcoholic because I would never go and find a cheap non brand vodka and down it because I need alcohol that bad. Yeah, that that was where they were coming from. But they, they, they drank beer every single day and drink beer every single day.

00:38:03:12 – 00:38:31:16
They would probably be hungover maybe three out of seven days. And it, it gets to a point where in their environment of like them growing up, that's the, I've got to be careful in choosing my words because this person could listen to this episode and could be listening to this, and I don't want to, obviously. And we've spoken, we spoke, we've spoken about this before anyway.

00:38:31:18 – 00:38:55:09
But, you know, a product of their environment, their parents, when they were growing up, 5:00, you know, pens down, get the GMT, start cooking dinner. So it was a like a lived experience of your parents drinking in the evening and settling down to watch fucking EastEnders, the bottle of red, whatever it might be. So then you develop those habits and that's the way you live your life.

00:38:55:11 – 00:39:13:22
Now, before we go into, anything now, since is there any more things that you're for, New Year's resolution that you're always going to be? I mean, this is pretty a pretty big one, too. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what more than alcohol, caffeine, cigarettes is.

00:39:13:24 – 00:39:38:13
That as much as you can do you any? I don't know. Give it up. Something else. I'm good enough. Say my my number one thing for me. Totally. Number one is my morning routine. Improving my morning routine. Sorry. My bed. So it's my bedtime, but you get to do it at night. In the morning. Rick, could you not.

00:39:38:13 – 00:39:59:16
What the. What the. I'm not saying you do the same thing, but you can do what you you so that the time you that you feel you're losing at night time. But you you're you time you if you get up before everybody else you can have that. That's that's what I want to do. But I need to go to bed earlier before, before I do that.

00:39:59:19 – 00:40:24:09
And that's the bit that I want to get to. I want to get to a point in my life where I am waking up at night, six in the morning, and I'm up. I'm bright, I'm feeling good, and I have no problem of walking over to my laptop and start smashing for eight hours, or I have no problem going downstairs and doing a kettlebell exercise.

00:40:24:14 – 00:40:46:18
I have no, you know, for whatever it might be, just a bit of that personal time for myself to wake up and be on my own, of my own thoughts and just to kind of have that bit of me time rather than doing it in the evening and feeling worse, where also, the one that I need to this is I don't know if it's a funny one, but it is.

00:40:46:19 – 00:41:14:04
It is quite funny for me, negativity, negativity in my life. I'm not a big fan of it, but admittedly, cards on the table. I've been a bit of a hate watch of love. What you what what what what I mean by that is there are people out there on social media doing their thing, and I watch their content because I, I wouldn't say I hate them, but I want them to fail and I don't like them, and it just is.

00:41:14:04 – 00:41:34:08
This influences, influencers and there's people out that I know that I, that I'm just like, what do you mean why don't like, why do I, I know it's like when I said, I said on Chris on Boxing Day, I said, boys on me, get off the alcohol. And I said, and they said, what? What? For a few days?

00:41:34:08 – 00:41:53:14
And I was like, no weeks. And you put a little smiley emoji with a like Pinocchio nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I did I at the time I was like really vulnerable. And I was like, why? Why have you done that? Yeah, I did you do that? Because at that time I would have thought, there is no way that you're doing that.

00:41:53:16 – 00:42:11:23
And at that time, for me, but we had bought it, you know, I didn't know. Is this bad? I didn't know it was so. But like, it was, it was as severe as how drunk you'd been, the blood pressure and that you were actually like, do you know what this is? The line in the sand that I don't want to do this anymore.

00:42:12:00 – 00:42:35:07
I thought it was, that's the thing you don't know. Should I should you be out that way? At first, yeah, I probably will continue to do that, because that's just who I am. Yeah. And, And you, you can't read everything through WhatsApp and obviously thinking about that, that is a terrible thing. But at the same time, I probably still would have done the same thing.

00:42:35:09 – 00:42:55:14
And I'm sorry, my, I didn't mean I didn't mean to make you feel bad, but, you know, it's like when it's one of those times, you know, like, if I say, I'm going out with the lads and I'm not getting up to no good. Yeah. Or whatever. I'll see you in the garage and then, you know, I'll see you at someone's kitchen table 3:00 in the morning.

00:42:55:14 – 00:43:12:01
Might not be. That is as far as men like. And it says here, missus. I just got out for a couple now. Full. Well, this is going to, if you're honest, with your Mrs. or your partner or whoever it might be, and just say I've gone out with the lads, you know. Yeah, yeah. I'm probably going to go to one of them ones.

00:43:12:03 – 00:43:36:16
Yeah, I understand when you say I'm just buck up or you take away back something like that, and then you don't, and then you're in the garage at 3 a.m. that's. You can understand what I get, right? Yeah. Yeah. And and I do understand. Yeah. So I am going to be giving up my, my hate watching. So there's a, there's a few people that I thought I hate watching, I'll tell you after, but, you know, you know what?

00:43:36:16 – 00:43:59:05
People just it's like, they just fly up, you know, is of just, like, they just annoy you, but you just can't stop watching their stuff. And why? I'm like, really? I've never known this about you. Yeah. It's curious about there's probably about three, 3 or 4 people, but I'm just I'm just going to not not, follow them or, whatever it might be.

00:43:59:07 – 00:44:31:06
And then obviously the, self-development, we have to be a better father to try to be a bit more understanding, a bit more listen in and a bit more, not get frustrated as quickly just to kind of try and take myself out of a situation where I would say something that would be hurtful, or do something that'd be hurtful over the ocean, a more positive person then spread that positivity.

00:44:31:08 – 00:44:51:21
Yeah, yeah, pretty much pretty much. That is, that's what I'm that's what I'm going to be doing. Now, there is a person I've mentioned this person on the podcast many a time before Mel Robbins, and she is kind of like a self-help podcast. Yeah. And she does she does loads of stuff like this. And you can look crap.

00:44:51:21 – 00:45:18:00
She's she's massive, but she posted something on her Instagram and I will put it in our description of the podcast, which you can have a look at now if you want to go back and look at things in your life for New Year's resolution or anything, she basically just plots out these things. What are the people, experiences and commitments that created positive feelings in 2024?

00:45:18:02 – 00:45:36:14
So you write a list of all those positive things, all the good stuff that happens and the commitments that you made, all the good stuff, what other people experience and commitments that triggered negative feelings and energies from your memories in 2024.

00:45:36:16 – 00:45:44:18
So you've got a list of that stuff. What did you learn about yourself over the past year?

00:45:44:20 – 00:46:09:10
What are you going to start, stop and continue to do for 2025? And then after you've got all that information you can then, right? You don't have to go, right. So if it's for example, we spoke about alcohol and you're not going to go from or it might be hard from day one, I'm no longer drinking alcohol, I'm going cold turkey.

00:46:09:10 – 00:46:29:16
But you might say at the end of the year I want to get to only having a two cans a night when I got a bed. Then you make up those small bits throughout the year. In three months time, instead of having ten cans before I got a bed, I'll have eight cans, and then I'll have six cans, and then and so on, so forth.

00:46:29:22 – 00:46:53:23
It's the small step. So you put out a deadline of what you want to do and what you want achieve, and then you work backwards on making those small kind of steps to meet that main big target that you have. So I'm going to put that in our podcast description. Mel Robbins Mel Robbins podcast is amazing. Go and listen to it, but not before you've listened to ourselves first.

00:46:54:00 – 00:47:22:11
And yeah, I just want to. Yeah, I'll just end that on there. And as we're saying about New Year, New Me, there will be I'm not going to say like it's a big change within the podcast. I just think we this has been going nearly nearly a year. January the 23rd was the first episode we ever published of large anonymous is still going to be flat, and I still going to be dilemmas.

00:47:22:13 – 00:47:48:21
Is there going to be something only you know? But the themes and the topics that we discuss each week, I think we, we I know how you guys love sending in topics for us to discuss, and that will continue to happen because we we want to discuss and chat about the stuff that you send in, but also where we're going to do a couple more podcasts, a bit like flat.

00:47:48:21 – 00:48:17:08
Remember we did the part about Bonnie Blue? Yeah, only fans. And it was like Roy, where the news was kicking off about, yeah. So I would like to the way we would like to go into a bit more of, to tap into things that as, like Geist at the time. Yeah, but you know, when and relevant, like when the, joined when the, sub submarine submersible, when time was going down.

00:48:17:08 – 00:48:38:14
The Titan. Yeah. Like, we talked about it later, but when that would have been great to talk about it. As in when it happened. Like when, like the Bonnie Blue one was a good, a good time, to do something. But yeah, it's, it's like instead of just going one, you know, around the topic, if there's something going on in the news that we can tap into it.

00:48:38:16 – 00:49:03:24
Yeah. For sure. So so going forward we're going to be trying out these pots and say for instance, I'll just say it now, but the topic for next week is going to be bullying. And it's all going to be about, you know, where you bullied us as a youngster. What do you think about bullying? And a lot of people, jokingly or not, should say bring back bullying.

00:49:03:24 – 00:49:24:09
And I think there's a bit of tongue in cheek with, yeah, careful about making that choice again because, you can people come back always. I know it's really bad. Bullying is bad. It's terrible. Yeah, it is. And, through some of our lived experiences as well, because Flav and I was chatting, have I ever been bullied? And I said, no.

00:49:24:09 – 00:49:44:24
But then I came up with some examples and there was a bit of a gray line. So if you want to get involved bullying chat, send it in to lads anon pod at gmail.com. If next week going through the week that there is a topic that has kicked off and that Flav and I would like to talk about that, we'll talk about that instead.

00:49:44:24 – 00:50:17:13
But all the stuff that you send in for bullying will be used in a future episode. And one last thing, if you do see any weird news stories, anything in the press or celebrity, whatever it might be that you would like us to chat about at us on social media. So if it's the anywhere at large, a non part, us will see it and we'll put it down for, a discussion piece when we're doing these types of pods.

00:50:17:15 – 00:50:45:13
And you can email us at landing on pod at gmail.com or send us a DM. So yeah, just if you see these new stories and you think it's interesting to send into us, now, we are going to be going to dilemmas and something. And you know, the dilemma is called none of my business, but I'm copied in and something only you know is tackling the bush.

00:50:45:15 – 00:51:12:13
So we're going to go to dilemmas right now. Oh, just, just Tira, you got an issue for a tissue. You're a bit sad cause pain will destroy you. Are you aching in your soul, alone in your flat? Please talk to Vicky offline. Yeah. Let that stress off your chest. Well, friend, you deserve to play like you're safe here to get nice and warm between Vicky.

00:51:12:13 – 00:51:18:07
Your plans.

00:51:18:09 – 00:51:41:15
A friend of mine has been coming to me about her relationship problems. Which is fine, because everyone needs to vent sometimes. She asked for advice, which is cool, and I try to keep it unbiased and helpful. But she's been telling me about this cute guy at work. And I'm not going to lie, I'm very concerned about her behavior towards this guy.

00:51:41:17 – 00:52:05:08
I do feel a little uncomfortable when she tries to talk to me about him, but I just keep an open mind. I know I probably should tell her boyfriend, but I just don't want that kind of arc in my life. Also, I don't think I'm close enough to deliver this kind of news, but on the other hand, I do feel like this is really shitty thing to do to someone.

00:52:05:10 – 00:52:37:06
What should I do? One none of my business to have a serious one with my mate. Three tell the boyfriend for anonymously. Tell the boyfriend. So she her mate basically has been confiding in her about her relationship, but she's like letting on that this, this, this, this dude at work that she likes. She she's going to cheat on on him.

00:52:37:06 – 00:52:42:13
Yeah, yeah.

00:52:42:15 – 00:52:59:10
It's a tough one. I mean, I like to say that I would, I would get involved, but the reality is I just, I wouldn't and I just get on with my life. Yeah, that's the reality I think. But if the best thing to do would be to talk to your mate, just go look what you're doing. And this is our water.

00:52:59:10 – 00:53:31:04
Like, if you don't want to be your boyfriend, then do the right thing and split up with him and then you can pursue this other thing. But just kind of shagging love a bloke probably ain't the one. Yeah, but, blokes kind of feel like, you crush him, you could fuck him up. Yeah. And it's it's really tough because you, like, I always feel like if I know something, I would feel better if I tried to do something about it.

00:53:31:06 – 00:53:54:01
Now, I'm not saying go and tell the boyfriend or anonymously tell the boyfriend, because at the end of the day, I don't think that is any of your business. But at the same time, you want, a clear conscience. And for me, that would be saying to said friend, look what you're doing or what you plan to do or what you're alluding to isn't fucking cool.

00:53:54:03 – 00:54:15:15
If someone did that to you, how would you feel? If you don't want to be with this guy anymore and tell them if there's a problem? Yeah, yeah. Engineer a future where you're not, in him. You don't have to tell him immediately, but work on it and, you know, just. But the last thing you want, these guys just shag some other bloke just because I don't know what he's giving you the validation.

00:54:15:15 – 00:54:40:15
You're not getting a home or. I don't know what the problem is. I'm whatever it might be. But cheating is not the one man. Nuh I yeah, I mean, like, when you're the thing is as well. Like, if this person like this person is your mate, right? And if they're cheating on their fellow who they're, they apparently love or have been in a relationship with rather long, whatever it might be.

00:54:40:17 – 00:55:09:02
I always feel like that's like their low a common sense question. And what does it mean to your friendship as well, how low they are to you? I always just find it a bit like, I don't know, cheat is that they're just not. They're not, they're not good people, not typically, you know, I mean, there's reasons for, that some people might cheat and it might be that they're not fulfilled at home or the they're scared of breaking up or things just happen.

00:55:09:04 – 00:55:31:18
But yeah, I mean, there's nothing positive. Same way we talk about smoking. There's nothing positive going to come away from cheating apart from a momentary fix. Yeah, exactly. So I go, yeah, go chat. Go and chat to your mate, lay your cards on the table and then at least you have done your bit. She's not gonna listen to you like, the minute that she gets an opportunity to get a ticket.

00:55:31:19 – 00:55:56:01
No one's looking. She's going to do it. Yeah, regardless of what you say. But your conscience is clean, then I don't think you tell the tell to partner. It's not your business, really. But you can talk to, or the the the the last one anonymously. Tell the boyfriend. That's that's like dogs, man. You can't you can't really think that, but it's your you're the fact that you're you're in the right, you know, your mind space is currently correct.

00:55:56:07 – 00:56:04:21
Pretty great. All right. Yeah. We are going to go into something only you know.

00:56:04:23 – 00:56:12:10
Why? Something, you know, you.

00:56:12:12 – 00:56:38:07
Tackling the bush? I've been a gardener for eight years. I'm 27 now. I have a client who's been with me for three years, ever since I went out on my own. Now, this fella might possibly be the worst client you can imagine. I've been called a slave, a worthless tradesman, and many other awful names. You might think, why am I still doing this garden?

00:56:38:09 – 00:57:08:23
The answer is very simple and easy. Number one, for some reason is an excellent Christmas tipper. Number two, I'm sleeping with his wife. His wife and I started this affair around nine months ago when he went away on a business trip, and she invited me in for a cup of tea. When it was raining, she started saying that she was unhappy, etc. I suggested that she needed to go out and have some fun with her friends.

00:57:09:00 – 00:57:30:23
Being unsure how to deal with the invite others receive, and at the time she did. And then a few days later, she asked if I would go round and put up some shelves for her and I agreed. One thing led to another and nine months later we are still shagging now. I take great pleasure knowing her husband in brackets.

00:57:31:00 – 00:57:50:05
Don't feel bad for him because he's a cunt. Is paying me to do some in out with his wife every week. Cut the grass, we need the beds, then tackle his wife's bush. And that is something only I know.

00:57:50:07 – 00:58:08:07
By, Well. Oh, we just said cheating, but it's no good. No, no, it's like something out of an 80s porn movie, isn't it? Yeah. And and it's. What I was thinking is like, she went out of her mates and a couple of days later is. Can you come round and sort myself that it's like that.

00:58:08:07 – 00:58:39:10
They probably going away the girl and just said, oh yeah, see if you can get round to do something, fix, fix the washing machine, fix a tumble dryer, and give her a large portion. But that's crazy, right? Next week we are going to be talking about bullying. So if you have any stories that you encountered when you were younger, send them in or anything else that you want to share on bullying, send it into lads anon pod at gmail.com.

00:58:39:12 – 00:58:58:20
And also if you see any interesting bits of news while you're surfing the web, don't forget to add us at Lad's Anon pod and we will discuss it on the next pod or next couple of pods. Until then, we will see you on Monday.

00:58:58:22 – 00:59:22:06
The night hazy light band of brothers playing tunes high as quite midnight waves. Surfing free till daylight breaks. Rhythm of different ways. Love of music are. We prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band aside, we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise.