#119 | Turning 40 – Chaos, Kids & Contentment

00:00:02:18 – 00:00:30:04
I'm constantly not clock watching, but as I mentioned in last week's Pod that I have a deal with my daughter about her eating McDonald's and, she loves McDonald's. You know, when, you know, when you really love something, it's just the look on their face when they're eating it. And I've had to try to pull her behavior around at school because she's getting red stamped.

00:00:30:04 – 00:00:49:00
And we said, if you get free red stamps, then I won't buy a McDonald's because that's the, you know, that's the treat at the end of the week. And for the past six weeks, she's been getting these red stamps and she's been hitting the three red stamps. And I was like, this week, it's a new week, right? We can do this.

00:00:49:00 – 00:01:07:09
We can do this by like, you've got this. I believe in you. Watch out for that teacher on Monday, doctor, whatever his name is, he's after you. So do not talk to your skirt that way. Is he the one? Yeah, yeah. Every time. Every time. She just fucking walked in there and she's, got a red stamp on the.

00:01:07:09 – 00:01:31:01
Now, after the first day, she got a red stamp and I was like, it's only one. It's only one, baby. You know, we've got the rest of the week and then for three days it has been glorious. Green stamped all the way through and I'm like, you fucking come on, man, come on. You got this yesterday. And she's like, yeah, yeah, I come all Green Stamps that had a look.

00:01:31:01 – 00:01:53:07
And I'm like, as she's leaving today, it's like we've got one day, one day and we can get that sweet, sweet McDonald's, right? Just do not get any red stamps. Obey everyone. Don't fuck about. You're all good. And we'll get that McDonald's set a check. Check the app first thing this morning. First lesson, one red stamp. Later lesson.

00:01:53:07 – 00:02:12:02
I've got to fuck. Help me! Babe, you've got to help me. Come on, man. And then she already knows that she's getting another red stamp for not doing her homework. And yesterday, you know, like it was 7:00. I was like, have you done your homework? No. Right. Can't do it. I can't I'm doing it at 715. Have you started?

00:02:12:02 – 00:02:27:05
You know, I'm going to do it in a minute. And it got to like 9:00. She got in a shower, went into bed. I didn't ask her about home because it's just assume that she done it because it's just nagging her this morning. She's not before you say anything, I didn't do my homework and I am going to get a red stamp.

00:02:27:06 – 00:02:53:12
So, you know, McDonald's just in the bin then basically. And I was like, no, that's that's just one red stamp. Remember this three that you've got to get. So first lesson she's like she's got a red stamp. So it looks like by the end of play today she would have hit the three red stamps which normally would be no McDonald's.

00:02:53:14 – 00:03:12:22
But because of so many, many she got so many green stamps, tenacity and a hand up willing to look like she just read. I could see that she was really trying. I could see it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to get a McDonald's. Isn't this is what we talked about last week? Yeah it is. It is reinforcing in the positive side.

00:03:12:24 – 00:03:35:07
Exactly. So so I'm going to show her all the Green stamps and be like, look, I know we said about the Reds, the three Reds and you may have got the free reds, but look at this green here. And I think you just have the McDonald's. So she's Yeah, I mean, it's so it's always hard. And I did put it out there.

00:03:35:08 – 00:03:52:02
Just be like, am I being too mean? A lot of people come back and said, not you doing the right thing, which is which is nice. And then I said to I said to my cousin about it, and he was like, my kids basically get a McDonald's every other day. It's like, not even a tree. It's not even anything.

00:03:52:04 – 00:04:09:06
I know, I know, but it's kind of like, I don't know, man. It's just no guns in it. It's what she needs to know, though, because the good part is what gets a about. So she needs, like going forward. She needs to know that going into school not the end of the week. I mean, it doesn't matter.

00:04:09:06 – 00:04:33:05
But so now she knows, all of the good stuff, like the hand raising, the getting, getting engaged, that is what's being rewarded. And make it less about the red stamps, maybe. Yeah. She still shouldn't have red stamps, but, you know, I don't know. I'm. I'm back to class. First lesson. Yeah, but. Well, I'm. Well, sorry.

00:04:33:05 – 00:04:54:03
I was saying about Williams. They their brains don't match at that age. They don't match what you've said. No to that moment. The over excitement of meeting their friends or something. This distracted them. They don't go whole. Hang on a second. Shit. I better get to class because I remember had stamp. They just encapsulated in that moment.

00:04:54:05 – 00:05:11:03
You just made it free for like, getting late in school. Not having a lanyard on fucking gets a fuck. Can you imagine? Not no one would have got through my school. No, we they would sometimes be fights in the classroom and a teacher would just go settle down. And we carry on with the class. Now they're being kicked out.

00:05:11:05 – 00:05:32:20
Not like. I mean, it's probably a bit of thing, but I don't know mum and I like some of that because I mentioned this before. He's about someone else and they were like, what were you like us go, what was your behavior like at school? Rick and I was like, oh, what I wanted to do at school was make people laugh, so I would just fuck around all the time.

00:05:32:22 – 00:05:50:24
And they were like, this will say, can you not can you not apply that to you? Do. And I was like, yeah, I can, but I'm the fucking parent now. Now I understand these things so I can we'll ask the basically what's what he wants to do going into the next year. There's a place called Castle Coombe, which is a racetrack, and they do mechanics courses there.

00:05:51:00 – 00:06:11:02
Oh, and he wants to go there. Obviously he wants to go. That's right up his street. Yeah. But he has to get for in English, in a foreign maths. And the only way you can do that is by working to get that grade. Yeah. But I think for a long time he felt that that just sort of turning up and being good in school was enough.

00:06:11:04 – 00:06:31:19
And that would be as long as I'm not getting in trouble. Then I'm okay. I'm not disrupting anybody. I'm not being rude to the teacher. But now it's time. It's been made clear to him. You know, you've got to do the work as well. So it's like. Like I can't. I can't tell him any more times.

00:06:31:19 – 00:06:48:23
And I've told him this is on you. This is. Yeah. If you do the work, you. The teacher said you can't be getting a four. Like the four is like the lowest possible mark. Right as well. Pass mark. Yeah. You. I'll get we can get you a tutor. We can do all these places, things in place.

00:06:48:23 – 00:07:10:09
But you have to do it. You have to decide that you want to do it. And, he he is showing a new willingness to go to school with the right attitude. But I don't know if he's genuinely working, if he's trying hard and it's got to the stage, as it always will, is that eventually you have to let them fail.

00:07:10:11 – 00:07:28:20
And if yeah, if he fails, he doesn't get to do what he wants to do. But I can't tell him any more clearly that you have to do this to get to there. He has to experience failure in order to. It's a it's a click in his head. If I want something, go or work for it. And like he's in year 11, remember he's not in year 11.

00:07:28:20 – 00:07:46:13
I'm not comparing the two to the, this is this is the situation. He's like eventually and it's a realization I came to, is that the world doesn't give a fuck about you. No one cares. There's no safety net. There's no no one's trying to catch you. Eventually, you got to realize that there's a responsibility to yourself to create the life you want to.

00:07:46:14 – 00:08:08:02
You want to have. And what you find is you meet people in life and they're like, oh, the world has fucked me over the I've had this thing happen. Oh, God, that person doesn't like me. I didn't get that an opportunity. And people that live in that kind of insular, oh, woe is me. Never. Yeah, yeah. Never really break out, do they?

00:08:08:04 – 00:08:26:02
So yeah. Like. Well, I said to him, Will oh, can get you a tutor, write an English shoot in a year. We can do it every weekend. And he's like, no, no more school outside of school. And I was like, well, it's not I'm not punishing you. Right? Yeah. Trying to get to that. This isn't me telling you off.

00:08:26:03 – 00:08:58:12
I'm not angry. I'm saying I don't even I don't want to shell out £250 a month for tutors, but I would do that. So you get to do what you want to do next. But all he is is more school outside of school and I don't want to do. Yeah. And that's what I'm saying Rick, is that, that you know our heads as grown, fully functioning adults, we think, why can't they take this bit of information and apply it to their why can't the little one, why can't she know that she doesn't get any free free bread stamps?

00:08:58:18 – 00:09:18:00
Just don't get one more. I can have all the McDonald's and I love them. I don't lose that all that well. If they can't, they're in a unable to genuinely separate themselves from the two things and say yeah, consequences and actions. And I know this because I was reading up and I was thinking not about Will, but all of his mates and listening to him talk.

00:09:18:00 – 00:09:39:10
And I'm like, why? Like teenage kids so fucking stupid like they are you listening to them talk sometimes and you're like, what? How is it that you're it's this is so different. And I'm not talking about I'm talking about lots that I've spoken about and I'm talking about. I'm also talking about like 17 year olds. Yeah. 18 year olds that I've spoken to are really politically active.

00:09:39:12 – 00:10:00:10
They're really into everything that's going on in the world. Yeah. And I'm listening to them like, you sound like an idiot and you think you sound really intelligent. It's just their brains don't are not developed. They're not able to really compute how they need to in order to toe the line. And it's like driving. Passing, driving test teaching.

00:10:00:10 – 00:10:22:10
You have to pass the driving test. That's what it's. It's just not in their ability yet to understand consequences and actions and actions and reward. But the more you do, the sooner you get it. And a life would be happier. But if you take a zoom out, you think, what's the problem? Read stamps and shove your red steps up your ass each time.

00:10:22:12 – 00:10:45:13
I think I know, but, yeah, I it's one of those things that. And like you were saying about the fail thing, you've got to let them fail. And you know, logically, I absolutely hate you. May I really say if there's anything I can do to to soften that forward to, to catch a wrap either of my kids or Mrs..

00:10:45:13 – 00:11:03:13
In cotton wool, to protect them then I'll try to do that, but I think it's going to take. Yeah. What you're doing is right. It's hardest route but you're doing the right thing and they've got that softness from mum where they've got, she gives them that comfort so you can still catch them. She'll wrap them in cotton wool.

00:11:03:13 – 00:11:35:03
That's not your job unfortunately. Your job is to be no McDonald's man because receive in the fullness of time. That's what will create a better human being. Yeah. You're saying I'm the better parent. Thank you. I'm saying you both have a role, and it's important that you understand that role. Because in these modern era, roles like that are genuinely kind of in some, in some circles, perhaps they don't respect those traditional roles that the others might.

00:11:35:05 – 00:11:59:16
Yeah. You need a strong influence, a hard influence, and you need a soft influence. You need both of those things. Yeah, yeah. No, I yeah, totally. Yeah. For sure. I was gonna say I didn't before I jumped on here and I thought I'd do it here. My, It's been a month now. One month, and my car's been in the garage.

00:11:59:18 – 00:12:22:02
It's fucking unreal. Honestly, I listen to this show. This is fucking beautiful. I rang the garage up today, as I do every other day for an update to see what's going on. And I rang them up and I said, you do realize it's been a month? It's been a month today and I've had to do emergency insurances on my sister's car.

00:12:22:04 – 00:12:44:04
My daughter's Mister Netball matches. I've had to. And he goes, we haven't had it a month, mate. I was like, what you guys, we haven't had it. Months have been nowhere near a month. I was like, I brought it to you on the 17th of September, I guess. No no no no no, I remember I was I it's on my we start having an argument, started having an argument and then he started having a go at me for bring it in but bad.

00:12:44:04 – 00:13:02:18
Come on. You're fucking carriage. I'm not supposed to bring your working car, you fucking idiot. You know, I mean, and then he says to me, right? It goes right that the initial it goes, well, it was a big job is a big job. Normally carriages wouldn't take this on, but I was, you know, you caught me off guard.

00:13:02:18 – 00:13:26:14
So I took it on, and I was like, what? What? You. What do you mean? Like, what would the picture for the carriage turn cause away? Because it's too much work delay. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm pretty sure that this garage has. They know mommy's tire changes, brake pads, oil filters, you know, the bread and butter. Get him in, get him out.

00:13:26:14 – 00:13:42:20
Get that money. What are you going to do, Rick? Yeah. So, Oh, so we were having this argue. Give me the car back. Well, he said to me, it goes well, I'll just ring you up. So hang on a second. He said the first bit of the car, we've put it back together, started running, check the oil.

00:13:42:24 – 00:14:00:12
Everything was fine coming. The next morning we went to turn the engine over. It wouldn't start. Was that okay? And he said, we've been trying to get it to start for the last couple of days. And we just can't, can't get it to start at the moment. So I was like, that wasn't the problem when I brought it in though.

00:14:00:13 – 00:14:18:24
Like, that's a that's a different problem after you fixing it. And he was like, yeah. And then he started having another go at me for bringing in two major forces like you did. The other thing I was like, what the fuck? And then and then he said to me, right, I'll tell you what we'll do. I'll ring you up for the work that we've done.

00:14:19:01 – 00:14:35:03
Then you can come and take the car and take it to another garage. And I was like, you've just told me it doesn't turn on. It won't start. How am I going to take it anywhere? And he was like, I don't know, mate. Well, like you're saying this, but it's been a month, so you want to take it away.

00:14:35:03 – 00:14:58:02
And I was like, mate, can you just like put all your effort and concentration into fixing my car? Can you please just do that? So the way we've left it is he's trying to source a new starter motor, and we're just going to take it from there. But it's. The car's been there for like, four weeks, and he hasn't rung.

00:14:58:02 – 00:15:23:22
We once know once you know what's going on. No, I don't I really don't I think he says sofa there's so overrun there that he's just answering calls. Answering calls doesn't meet a changing someone's light bulb. He's just trying to get cars in and out as quick as possible because it's a big investigative job that he's just a car can't be fucked.

00:15:23:24 – 00:15:39:24
And I get that. But my car's there. And you started working it now. So this is, you know, you need to fix this and bear in mind for future, don't take on jobs that you can't do or you're saying he's not going to fix it. So what you need? Well, at the end of it he said he's going to source that starter.

00:15:40:01 – 00:15:56:10
I think I think they are going to fix it or get it to a position where it can start. Maybe. Then what's your plan? Because this isn't fixed. Set it it. I'm selling it. Selling it. No one's going to buy this car rig. They are. You can't pass to buy it. You can't ethically pass on a broken car.

00:15:56:10 – 00:16:16:10
No no no no, I'm I'm doing the, what you call it one of those auction things. I've sold a car for them before. I never signed, so I'm just going to auction it. And then, what I'll do is I'll use that money for the car to buy another second car, and we can have this conversation in three months time.

00:16:16:12 – 00:16:19:13
That's what's going to happen.

00:16:19:15 – 00:16:37:06
And it's it's so, so disappointing. Like it's my missus birthday this morning. Well this morning. Oh. Is it really all day. Yeah. So it's my birthday. And she was sitting there ready to open the present, and, I was on the phone to the garage, and I'm, like, having this full blown argument with the keys or the garage.

00:16:37:08 – 00:17:07:15
And then after I come up the phone, I'm fucking effing and blinding and all that. Says the wrong energy. Yeah, I've ruined the mood. I'm like, oh, don't open your fucking presents. No. I this were a mess. I played a jingle. Let's do it.

00:17:07:17 – 00:17:33:04
On the night, hazy light. Band of brothers playing tunes. Hi. Is quiet. Midnight waves surfing free till daylight breaks. Rhythm hit us different ways. Love music I we prayed with our tongues in cheek. Bands I we like to speak and yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers.

00:17:33:06 – 00:17:57:00
Hello and welcome to lads anonymous is episode 119. I'm Ricky Heath, two best mates. One main topic we aren't to your life dilemmas and confessions in our feature something only you know and everything remains anonymous always. So sit back, relax and enjoy the pod. How are you mate? Sorry. That was, I felt like I was, you know, when you just unload of, my troubles.

00:17:57:00 – 00:18:22:24
It's funny. It's fun. All right, but, Oh. Good to get it all wrap today. So today we are talking about turning 40. Expectation. But the reality. Well, you've just fucking heard some of the reality there. So it's a matter of when you turn the older you get, everything just costs thousands of pounds. Like my when I was in my teens, like a tenner, I was like, oh shit, I owe this geezer a tenner.

00:18:23:01 – 00:18:50:01
I better not have any pocket money and save it up. I remember I wanted to buy a bike when I was in. I was about 14. My cousin had a bike and I would get 5 pound a week for for dinner money. Yeah, I don't get 5 pound a week for pocket money. So dinner money was a pound a day, which I would be able to get maybe a kick out on the way in and then for £0.70, maybe get beans and chips or something like that.

00:18:50:01 – 00:19:15:16
Okay. That's cool. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. And then 5 pound pocket money. So what do I want? These last 14 years on. Think I want this bike. It's BMX, I want that, so I'm not number eight and I'm not going to spend it in my pocket. Money. And within I if it's 65 pound. So within like six and a half weeks I'll have to for this bike.

00:19:15:18 – 00:19:37:01
And I did it and I thought that was that was hard work. And then and then you get into your 20s and everything costs about 100, 100 odd and yes, worries. Everything's thousands of fucking pounds. How how much is that light? It was it. We lay in a, a some some porcelain tiles that I'll be. Yeah. How much is that?

00:19:37:03 – 00:19:59:17
Five and a half grand. 005 and, but the thing is, is, though that was cheap, a little job. I was like, that feels like expensive. A lot. That feels like it. That sounds expensive to me, a four maybe. I don't know, there might have been a mistake. I look it up online. The builders do me a favor.

00:19:59:19 – 00:20:34:02
It's done it cheap rig. It cost five grand. He's done it cheap. And then. And it's it's like 45m². And so for whose fault is this? It's my watch for. She ordered the tiles. They're really expensive. I'm like, I'm just. Money's flying out my account. My, Let's go. Yeah, we got Rick. We got we. So a utility room, which in my head doesn't need much to see.

00:20:34:02 – 00:20:51:06
It's just a dark room. There's no windows in it. A toilet, maybe washing machine, washing machine. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Spending much on that surely. No I know, I know and it will get it out. It will. Real box room. Yeah yeah yeah. Fuck it. Let's change the shape of the room. Break. The shape, the shape.

00:20:51:08 – 00:21:17:11
This isn't big enough. Let's build stud walls, rake. Right. And we need. We need a lot of built, and we need an underslung sink. And we need terracotta tiles on the floor. How do we, Let's. Yeah. I mean, like, I'm not being critical because, like, despite the fact that this house is. We, by March, we bought it.

00:21:17:13 – 00:21:49:09
We're in October. We'll probably going to move in December so that so for real? Maybe a bit before, but yeah. Okay. We have to because we've given a notice. Right. Okay. That's that's I mean that's progress that, you know, like you get you've handed in, you know, you have a house and that you're going to be able to just take so long and asking for more stuff and I didn't realize how long paneling would take and how expensive it is.

00:21:49:11 – 00:22:16:12
And it looks incredible. But you know what, Rick? I wouldn't have done any. I wouldn't have done it if someone told me, this is what it's like being 40 and buying a house. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't have done it. So, but if I wouldn't, if I had not taken on a house like this, I would never have been able to afford what we're going to end up with.

00:22:16:14 – 00:22:43:09
You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So while it's been super stressful and draining on the bank or draining to the point where I've got nothing left, it's in the end, you know, be worth it, but have. By God, has it been scary? And I didn't think I found myself. Oh, you should be excited. But I'm afraid.

00:22:43:11 – 00:23:01:02
Yeah. I mean, yeah, like when you come to the end of it, right? The house is going to be beautiful. Your wife is going to be over the moon. Yeah, I'm going to want to be there all the time and all the memories that you're going to create there of having people over there, laughs and dinners and all of that.

00:23:01:02 – 00:23:27:20
Like, it's going to be absolutely amazing. I like, but yeah. So I can only actually I don't want to imagine really because I have, you know, have heard from yourself about the, the building expenses and stuff like that. And it scares me. So I mean, my car issues in comparison, this, you know, a small change. Do you know what actually saying that small change, when you were saying about, saving up and remind me of a story.

00:23:27:24 – 00:23:54:02
I haven't thought about this since I was 14 or 15. When I was younger, I went to buy a fishing rod off someone, and, I'd saved all my money in, like it. It wasn't quite pennies, but it was a lot of shrapnel. Lots of fucking loads of shrapnel. And I said to the guy that I was buying off, do you mind if it's like, my savings?

00:23:54:02 – 00:24:14:05
And it's like, all pennies and all that lot? And he was like, no, no, no, it's fine. Money's money. My, I don't give a fuck as long as the money's there. So I put it in a carrier bag and I put it on my bike, on my bike handles. So the handle of the carrier bag was over my bike handles, and I'm riding to the lake so I can buy this fishing rod.

00:24:14:07 – 00:24:38:00
And I'm going down the red way. And I hadn't realized that every time I was turning the corner, the carrier bag was rubbing against the will, and, I started riding and then all of a sudden the bags split open and my pennies went all over the red way, all in the bushes everywhere. And I was at one of those points where I was just like, I could have cried, it's just not there.

00:24:38:01 – 00:24:54:14
It's not all the money isn't going to be there. I picked up the rest. Why could I nothing to put it in. Like to kind of retire. Not in the bottom of the bag and then walk with it with my bike down to the lake to buy this fishing rod. I did it in the end. Did you get all the money across?

00:24:54:14 – 00:25:14:02
Yeah. No, all the money. I said there might be like 50 pay. Sure, or something like that. Don't worry about am I? I don't do the ice out fishing rod for I. Well, it wasn't even that long. It wasn't even that long. And it was, you know, it was one of those Argos like shit rods. It was a kingfisher rod.

00:25:14:04 – 00:25:39:21
But at the time, no, no, no, and, it was just a basic fucking fishing rod. Staff I bought just to get myself going. But yeah, it just reminded me of that. So what are we saying about, being in your 40s growing up? What is it like, looking to someone? So when you were 20, looking for someone that was 40 for me.

00:25:39:21 – 00:26:02:08
40 was fucking out. Now, I remember when. Not you remember like when, you know, I, you know, in our younger years, Hulk Hogan, when we were watching Hulk Hogan wrestle. Yeah. And other people looking at them when they were 40 and they had, like, no hair and fucking really old, like back in the day when I thought someone was really old.

00:26:02:08 – 00:26:23:03
They were probably only 40 years old. Yeah, yeah. It's not. Is that what. We don't look like that. Why don't we look so old? No, no, because like my nan, I remember looking the pictures of my nan, and I think looking and thinking. You must have been like late 40s, early 50s hair. Because I was. Yeah, yeah. So I was born in 81.

00:26:23:03 – 00:26:47:09
My dad was born in 53, so. And my nan had my dad when she was like 20. So she would have been early 50s in this picture. Looks like she's 75. It's the hair's gray. It's short and curly. Yeah. Got fucking you out of her mouth. Yeah. And my granddad looked the same. I think maybe they lived through them.

00:26:47:09 – 00:27:09:20
They lived through a world war that probably added stress to them. Sure, the diet was terrible. Lard and fat and much less than was. And I just think we are younger as a people now than they were. Yeah, you know what I mean. Spiritually, like I'm 44, but I don't feel like I behave like a 44 year old.

00:27:09:22 – 00:27:36:11
Typically. I think, this isn't a like a dig at social media or anything like that, but, you know, like the amount of products that are available now creams, dyes, the like, the preening and all that, like, yeah, I had one all that long. Do you think that's why all these products that we use, that's why we look younger?

00:27:36:13 – 00:27:58:11
Or is it just that now we're 40? I think it's health. It's to do with, nutrition. Like even if you're eating badly, it's healthier than what? The shit they used to eat in the after the war, when they're on rations and stuff like that. There's just much more nutrition, you know, don't be wrong. You can make enough bad decisions for for it to be to to not be right.

00:27:58:11 – 00:28:16:06
But, you know, you can get vitamins off the shelf. You can. Most people are conscious now of their bodies and conscious of health and what they're putting inside their bodies and the food they eat. We've never been more conscious of that sort of thing, and nor is it more fashionable. And I think my parents would have grown up with that as well.

00:28:16:06 – 00:28:42:01
But remember, also, our generation were were without war. We have been without conflict until about global war. You know, if you think about what's happened since the 40s with the World War two, you had Vietnam. I know there's been war across the planet for about this time, but I'm talking war that affects the UK and Europe. The first proper conflict we've had is Ukraine versus Germany.

00:28:42:03 – 00:29:05:03
Yeah. So the, Falklands that was over there when it went in seven days. It also about seven days. They, they. Yeah. I can't remember, but didn't last long. Lose a few couple of weeks, maybe ten days, something like that. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if there's anything that's going to age you, it's planes flying over that.

00:29:05:04 – 00:29:31:22
Sorry to drop bombs a bit longer than a 2nd of April to the 14th of June, but we wouldn't have even been aware of that. Rick. That was 1982. So I don't know, but it just yeah, we live we've lived in relative peace and comfort. So we probably have had you know, there's nothing more to debilitate you than being fucking stressed out about your own existence for a long time.

00:29:31:24 – 00:29:55:00
Do you, use moisturizer or anything like that? Yeah, I use moisturizer for my face. Always gets really dry. I finally get some. Yeah, if I don't if I have a shower and I don't moisturize, it is flaky, I get flake. Yeah. Do you. Yeah. Yeah I moisturize every, every single day. Really. And so more of an oily little man when I'm on holiday.

00:29:55:00 – 00:30:15:18
The when I'm on holiday and I'm using, sunscreen visit. It's that fucking slight vegetable oil that make that tanned me up nice. Yeah. Look at yourself up like. Yeah, every day. Yeah. I'm going to wake you. I just want to pull you up on something. Sorry. I got on Twitter earlier. I was talking about this plant.

00:30:15:20 – 00:30:22:16
Yeah, yeah, it's a plant. I don't know what the plant is. Right. What was the question?

00:30:22:18 – 00:30:44:16
Every time I walk past it, it absolutely stinks of. Come. Right? Yeah, yeah. It's Columbus right? Yeah. Come. Yeah. And I said bees like it. You'll see. Bees have grown all over. And what did you say after that? I can't remember. I can't quite say. I think it smells when my mum now smells the. I said your mother.

00:30:44:16 – 00:30:55:07
I think your mum's been in that bush. Right. She listens to this podcast and then she doesn't know the like. Right. Okay. I saw your mum in that bush is what you said.

00:30:55:09 – 00:31:12:01
Sorry. That's what I remembered. No it's fine. It was such an easy it was said, you know, tapping on it. Yeah, it was a tap it. I was trying to be really, really be helpful because, like, I know you, And I felt bad because when you were saying about the bees. Because that's the interesting number one is actually interested.

00:31:12:03 – 00:31:34:24
Number two, how is he seen this? Because he's blocked everyone. Not, you know, but, Okay. Yeah, yeah, I know it's not blocked. It's mute. Everybody, you let me know you're not muted actually. Oh, no, you are. You don't really, know the editor. And these are the things you, you, you recognize in your eight, in your 40s.

00:31:34:24 – 00:31:58:24
Right? Things like, what is this bush? Why is it doing this? Why am I interested? Floodwater. Why is it when you answer your phone, is it you love a bit of floodwater? Yeah, exactly. Canals. Oh, I, so, like you saying saying stuff like that, is there anything like when the, the stuff that you've noticed. How do you know that you're full?

00:31:59:01 – 00:32:40:02
And how do I know that I'm 40 is when I spend a lot of my time watching reels or TikTok of people doing kind of like satisfying jobs. Now there's, I think you see in America, this mate, this main one is and it's tarmac. But they put like a seal, a weather seal over the tarmac. They pour out loads of this oil or whatever it is, and then they use this kind of, brush and they're brushing it around the driveways and they're covering it, and they just do it in such a way.

00:32:40:06 – 00:33:03:17
That is, I just love watching stuff. I also rugs. There's a guy that cleans rugs. I seen antique jet washes it, foams it up lovely. And you know, restores it. You know, that's how I know him for a lot of stuff like that. Yeah, I just watch all that. The the cleaning out of these pipes with the tubes and chains.

00:33:03:19 – 00:33:28:02
Yeah. Yeah, that sort of stuff. I think, how I know 140 is because I'm. No, I'm no longer anywhere remotely interested in doing the things I was doing when I was 20. I thought I'd be all about getting smashed up, clubbing and doing all sorts forever. I thought I wanted to do it forever. That's. I couldn't imagine doing anything else.

00:33:28:04 – 00:33:51:01
Yeah, now I'm thinking. I couldn't imagine doing anything worse than going out in London, taking loads of pills and just trawling around central London, finding bars and clubs and clubs. Well, yeah, I am. There's nothing I would do, there's nothing I would do to take me back there and I'm comfortable with that. I want to sit on the sofa.

00:33:51:02 – 00:34:09:16
I want to watch a film we've just watched at Keynes Monster. Yeah. Yeah, I do it. That's one thing I actually do know about. And it's I will actually, I'm going to get around and watch it. You know, a ball about it, kid. Other. Yeah. I, I don't know about this release but I keep I keep seeing people doing it.

00:34:09:18 – 00:34:39:06
Hello mother. It is the geezer out of Green Street and and Queer as Folk. Right. They what, what, that the one who's. And he's in the gentleman. Geordie geezer. Right. Right. Yeah. Brexit and green. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. That's that's how. Yeah, yeah. Hello there mother. Yeah. So my point is, is I want to sit on the sofa and watch that with a glass of wine when I don't want those.

00:34:39:07 – 00:35:01:06
Yeah. Anymore. Yeah. That's how I know that was when I was younger, like in my 20s and smoked a lot of weed daily. There was a part of me that I'd come to, What's the word I'm looking for? I just kind of accepted there was an acceptance that I was going to be one of those people that just smoked weed forever.

00:35:01:09 – 00:35:26:20
Yeah, it just goes on forever and ever until I die. And I couldn't think of doing anything worse. No smoking, smoking a spliff. And like you were saying, so, my my mates, the gooners, the the this this is ongoing. Kind of like meeting up. We haven't met each other in fucking ages. And we need to go out for a beer.

00:35:26:20 – 00:35:51:16
We need to, you know, let our hair down, and we need to just chat and do what? Do what men do, right? Just be geezers amongst geezers. And every time it's just in my mind of I don't want to be hung over. I don't want to stay out late. I don't want to feel like shit for the next three days.

00:35:51:21 – 00:36:19:10
I don't want my I'm not my diet at the moment. I'm trying to healthy eat and I'm trying to work wise as well. I can't sit here at my laptop doing the work that I need to do. If I'm hung over or pranking out or whatever it is. And now it's definitely a sign that I am 40 and I'm like, day raves, I quit.

00:36:19:12 – 00:36:42:03
Yeah, yeah, oh my day raves a call it a yeah it finishes at ten. Everyone in bed. Yeah, yeah. And we went to Windsor Solomon at the Royal Naval College probably mentioned it before, but I was like J. Solomon. I'm like, yeah, but I'm kind of to London and fucking be mangled on the train back like in the morning, still buzzing and high and all that shit.

00:36:42:05 – 00:37:02:20
And they were like, no, no, it finishes at 11. I was like, what? Now we can get home and we can get a hotel, literally a walking distance from the venue. As I walk. Yeah, we'll be back by half 12. All right. Let's go. Let's get. They're always the quality ones that, that. That's what I look for now.

00:37:02:22 – 00:37:26:20
Yeah. Especially the day the, Just going at daytime and getting. I'm at a in your 40s. Do you, are you starting to, I don't think I'm the quiet. Yeah, but are there any, like, niggles, aches and pains and things that you are like? Yes. God, in my 20s, this this wasn't helping. My elbow. My left elbow.

00:37:26:22 – 00:37:47:03
Well, I think I think because the Frank the dog was so strong that I, Yeah, you have to control him. I don't, I, I don't, I don't, I like it can be a little bit reactive to other dogs. Yeah. He's very good. If I've got a hot got on the lead, he won't even bother. But if another dog moves towards him, he'll fucking eat it.

00:37:47:05 – 00:38:13:21
That's. That's what what happens like if you're walking along with, like, a little shitzu. Yeah. And I'm walking along with my dog and I don't have him under control. And your dog, he's going to eat your dog. That's just what's going to happen. Who wants me up about is fucking usually where I live, these country women who are like, yeah, 60 years old, and they've got these dogs and they're off their Leeds and I have no fucking control of the dogs.

00:38:13:21 – 00:38:33:20
Yeah, yeah. He won't bite you to worry about the bite your dog though. My dog will eat your dog. Your dog? My dog is under control. Your dog is off its lead and it doesn't come back to you when you call it. Now, if my dog, if your dog runs at my dog and my dog eats your dog, then you're going to be like, I can't believe your dog ate my dog.

00:38:33:22 – 00:38:55:19
And I'm going to say, I can't believe your dog is off a lead. Oh. I have to kick your dog, but I need to take your time. Yeah. Just because your little, your dog little doesn't mean it can't cause problems. Yeah. Anyway. Sorry. What was we talking about? No, no. It's fine. I always. This just gives me the excuse to.

00:38:55:20 – 00:39:13:13
To make you, I mean, it's a short story, but I. I'll never forget that, that WhatsApp message sent me, you know. Oh, my. I don't know if your dog. That I've been in a fight or you separated two dogs been in the fight. I said, oh, really? Oh, shit. Man, that sounds meant over. And then you said when I bent down to stop it, the dog beat you on the stomach.

00:39:13:13 – 00:39:34:24
Does that fuck, that sounds bad. And then you sent me off. I, you know, it's like, fuck yeah, you. Because you got bite marks and you're bleeding like a fucking Dracula. That's what the fuck? No. So what happened was I had my dog on a lead, and, this dog came around the corner a bend, and he. Then Frank.

00:39:34:24 – 00:39:57:16
And this dog has problems. They've never been in contact with each other again. I've always got control of my dog. He's never off the lead. There's no world where he would be allowed off the lead when I'm with him. Unless I can absolutely see every single angle. If it's like a enclosed dog or something like that, that's the only time I bring him off the lead.

00:39:57:18 – 00:40:19:18
Really? Yeah. Right. Okay. You. There is a rule that people listening to this think are being too harsh. They will. There isn't a world, but you should have your dog off the lead if he cannot, if he has no recall. And 95% of dogs have no recall because training them with recall is very difficult, takes a lot from this.

00:40:19:20 – 00:40:40:18
Frank come back. If he if there's nothing around him, no stimuli, he will come back to me immediately. If there is a deer that pops up out of nowhere, he's gone. No matter what I show. If there is dogs that he wants to go and sniff and play with, he's gone. Because I didn't do enough work when he was a puppy.

00:40:40:20 – 00:41:03:03
And probably can. You can still do it when they're older. It's easier when they're more receptive. I didn't do the work when I didn't know enough. When I first got to, to train him, basically. And then they, you know, they say about having dogs in and, Certain dogs for new owners, I'm sorry, dogs for people who are familiar with dogs.

00:41:03:09 – 00:41:24:03
I've grown up around stuff. And there was stuff that I didn't do that I didn't know how to do, that I should have done when I got him as a puppy. So if I'm if I'm aware of this stuff, you get in. People look in powerful dogs like staffs and, you know, before the band exhale, bullies, we've had absolutely no understanding of how to behave around a dog.

00:41:24:05 – 00:41:44:16
That's why we've got so many fucking lunatic dogs eating. People are biting people. And why that breed is now been banned. Excel police obviously have an issue with aggression, but it's it's people that don't have the capabilities to have a dog like that or train it the problem, not the dog. And that's why they should bring in licensing the dog owners in the country.

00:41:44:16 – 00:41:59:13
Every dog should be licensed to an owner to an address, and you should pay for that license. That's what should happen. Not just fucking I want a dog. I'm going to buy a dog there. I have a dog. That shouldn't be the case. Yeah, I think most people that when they get a dog that the training is coming.

00:41:59:13 – 00:42:18:16
I stop doing that. And like, that's, that's the training and the dog going, why are we talking about. Yeah, I don't know. Sorry I owe you. Oh you bit the dog. Bit you in the stomach. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So so so I was there, I was in the woods was going around this path and this they've had an issue these two dogs.

00:42:18:21 – 00:42:38:01
And I said the money contact. But this woman couldn't see around the bend. And normally nine times out of ten it would be fine. But in this instance we were there and she couldn't see us. Yeah. It's come round is going straight for Frank. Like let's trying to bite him straight away. I've picked Frank up which is not easy.

00:42:38:06 – 00:42:54:11
He's right. Yeah yeah yeah he's he's picked him up. And as I've bent over to pick him up, well, I think there was some sort of schnauzer. German schnauzer. I don't know what the name of the dogs were. And he's jumped up and he's gone to bite Frank, and he got me right on the gut. And of course, I'm not the fittest I've ever been.

00:42:54:12 – 00:43:15:16
This was like four years ago as well. And so I've got a bit of overhang, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we all have really got me, really got me about the fucking bleeding bruising anyway. And the woman. I'm so sorry. She booted her dog. It flew. And then, Yeah, she was sorry. She didn't mean it. And it isn't like she saw me from miles away and didn't put a lid on it.

00:43:15:17 – 00:43:32:06
I was round the bend, so I kind of forgave her for it, and it wasn't a big deal. It's not like I contacted anybody or anything, but I was going to say in those situations, what are you supposed to do, eat? Like, if a dog bites you, are you supposed to notify? So I'm going to say, I fucking just been by this dog.

00:43:32:07 – 00:43:55:12
Yeah. You should. I mean, in that instance, it was mitigating circumstances. So they were fighting. The dogs were fighting. Yeah. So I've put myself in between them and I've got bit, so that makes sense. The dog has come out of nowhere. Run up and bit me. Yeah. So that's why I wasn't bothered. I wasn't upset by it all, apart from being in a bit of pain and it's quite tender for a few days I wasn't it wasn't it was mayhem.

00:43:55:12 – 00:44:20:05
Right. So it's not her fault. But I've seen quite a few dog videos recently, where dogs are fighting and people, going up to while they're fighting and burying their finger in the door. So I saw this woman. This bloke. Yeah. He was, it was like, it was on a small dog. And this bloke out of nowhere just lifted up just like a finger.

00:44:20:07 – 00:44:41:04
Yeah, yeah, I think that all the way, I said I was in and out a finger in the dog. Then I was like, well, you did this great video. I the dog eventually does let go, but it's fucking out about 5 or 6 jabs in there. Oh fuck. You know, if it didn't work after the first, I might have been not right.

00:44:41:04 – 00:45:07:23
Okay. Whoever told me this was a lie, but it just carried on good. So how do I what do I type in Instagram to find that video? I don't know, finger in the finger. I don't know. Yeah, that that could be. I see where I don't know why I did it. Would you call it what's the, what's the Google when you go, you know, you go, go on Google Chrome and you go dark where it doesn't.

00:45:07:23 – 00:45:27:10
Yeah. Incognito. Incognito. You're in the air about three times a day, you pig. Yeah. So I was in, incognito earlier, and, you know, when you stuff out and you're like, God, am I really typing this out? Why does this bush stink of cum UK?

00:45:27:12 – 00:45:51:22
Apparent. It's a common ivy. That's that's what it was. That's common Ivy. I had no idea. It is common ivy. Apparently so, yeah, but they they said quite. They do see quite a lot. But then the lads from Mitchell and Webb, Mitchell and Webb, look, they did a skit and it's the, the lint tree or lint and tree or something like that.

00:45:51:24 – 00:46:07:24
And they did a whole skit of someone from wherever the lint and trees from. I think it's from Australia or something. Gifting Queen Victoria and she is receptive of this tree. Who is,

00:46:08:01 – 00:46:34:11
Yeah. Who's Jeremy? What's his real name? Mitchell. Webb. Rowe. He's Webb. Which one? Mitchell and Webb. Simon. No. So he flew David Mitchell and and. Well, I think they got a Jeremy. Anyway, they doing this skit and one of them is Queen Victoria. One of them's, the kind of a servant. And she's the guy saying, oh, thank you very much for this tray and blah, blah, blah.

00:46:34:14 – 00:46:57:23
We're gifting this to Queen Victoria. And Queen Victoria turns around to seven, says, I really appreciate it, but doesn't this tree absolutely stink of cum? And they're all dressed as Victorians. It's like, man, what do you mean? Is that, do you smell of cum or does the tree smell of come? It's just a very good. Yeah, a very good bit.

00:46:58:00 – 00:47:18:11
God, man, I just looked at the time. We, We've been gassed back, and I just wanted to ask you actually, do you think, like, when you were 20 and where you are now in life, do you think this is where you had planned to be like for me? I when I was younger, my mates got married.

00:47:18:15 – 00:47:40:10
A lot of my mates got married early, had kids early. I moved to London. I always felt like I was behind the curve, as in a lot of my mates. It bought houses like in the early 20s. Yeah, yeah, and I totally missed out on that. But I was like, I'm going to London, I'm going to be, you know, experiencing life.

00:47:40:10 – 00:48:11:24
I wanted to live the London life, get the London look. So I wasn't that bothered. But then coming back and now I'm 40 and all my mates have like paid off three quarters of their mortgages or whatever it might be. And I think maybe I should have done that differently. But at the moment I thought, like, I don't, I feel like I'm I feel like what I did, I'm happy with my choices of what I did.

00:48:11:24 – 00:48:40:01
Do you know what I mean? Because I had amazing time in London and then came back and started a family. And it's slightly later than where my other mates are. But I kind of felt like in my 40s I would have not fully owned my house at the moment, not shared ownership. I'm on the housing, I'm on the property market, which is, you know, property ladder, which is great, you know, can't sniff at that.

00:48:40:03 – 00:49:04:24
But I, you know, I thought that, 40 coming up to 43 that I, you know, would have owned my own property and would have moved a couple of times having had my own property and stuff like that. Is there anything that you thought that where you would be in your life, like actually as well? Sorry. I know I keep asking you a question and then I'm fucking answering it myself.

00:49:05:01 – 00:49:30:12
You know, 43 I couldn't have imagined that I'd be, you know, doing what I do for work. And I was saying to my misses the other day that, okay, on a monetary value of how much I earn and stuff by, no matter how much anyone earns, I think they would always prefer a bit more money.

00:49:30:12 – 00:50:01:18
No matter if you fucking earn 100 grand, you'd always want to earn 150. You'd always want more because you can buy more. Whatever. But apart from that, my working life working from home and podcast, social media management, working for myself mainly, being able to do what I want to do, managing my time like my mental health, my content hasn't been as good as this since I can remember.

00:50:01:20 – 00:50:22:06
I was in like when I was, you know, going back a few years ago when I was made redundant, going counseling. I was like, I was really against the, you know, leaning on the right. So I was like just against the ropes. And I was really struggling and I didn't really feel like I was going to get out of this, and I didn't know how to get out of it.

00:50:22:06 – 00:50:45:06
I didn't know what to do. But being in this moment, even though I didn't think I'd be working for myself. It's probably the best I've ever felt like within me, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Because then you realize it's not about what you own or how many calls you have or how, you know, having to call the works.

00:50:45:06 – 00:51:13:05
Yeah. It's, it's about contentment. That's the whole thing. It's not about happiness. It's not about these extreme emotions or happiness. Excitement. You know, the euphoria felt when you connected to those emotions. Deep depression and despair, all those things are undulating and never the same and never remain the same. But what you can strive for is being content and feeling okay.

00:51:13:05 – 00:51:32:01
Yeah. And that's a lovely feeling if you can get there, if you're fortunate enough to get there. So now think about the people that have those houses that you have that you mentioned that went early in the 2020s, in their 20s, they bought a house and moved to a bigger house and all those things. But they may not be content, they may be unhappy, but they have those things right.

00:51:32:01 – 00:52:05:08
And so from a, from a, from an outside perspective, looking in, you don't understand how they feel. You just know that they have a house. And so they must be doing well. My, my, someone I know, she was in a relationship that was quite difficult. And she had kids early, and she, she would watch her friends out party and on Facebook and in bars and having fun.

00:52:05:10 – 00:52:34:18
Yeah. Have an incredible life. And all she wanted is to sample some of that. Yeah. And then, eventually, after the kids go to she, she did, she was able to and she was able to enjoy her life and she ended new relationships that were much better. And and the point is, is, is nothing. Stand still. And there's opportunities in the future to take advantage of no matter where you are in life.

00:52:34:20 – 00:53:02:04
And I read something earlier, a sent to you. So on the on the 18th of February, 1930, a self-taught astronomer, Clyde Tombo, discovered the dwarf planet of Pluto only five years early. He'd built his own telescope from scratch and spent hours and hours photographing the sky. Five years ago, he decided to build a telescope from scratch on his own.

00:53:02:07 – 00:53:20:22
I mean, and then five years later, he found a planet we didn't even know was there. My point is this a lot can happen in five minutes. About five years. Yeah. If you just do stuff like you done with the podcast and whatnot, if you do stuff, you don't know what's going to happen. He didn't set out to find Pluto.

00:53:21:01 – 00:53:43:02
He set out to build a build a, a telescope. And then and then he did it and found Pluto. Like, I know it's a bit trite and a bit cringe to say, but it's a fact that happened. So I don't really know where I was supposed to be when I was 40. I don't know if I'm at the right place where I am now, but I feel content and so I'm grateful for that.

00:53:43:05 – 00:54:04:13
And, you know, someone I know in my extended family passed away this week and I'm just conscious of, you know, the, the time we have. And I'm not going to sit around worrying what other people have done and how much they've achieved. I'm going to find as often as I can that contentment and then live in that.

00:54:04:19 – 00:54:26:07
That's what I'm gonna do. That's good. I mean, the mentioning, the contentment. Like, I saw a TikTok the other day of, this this, this young girl, she was 35, and she was like, really kind of, very teary eyed, choked up, and she was saying that she, she wasn't where she thought she would be at this age.

00:54:26:09 – 00:54:45:22
And, she was saying that she's got nothing. She's done nothing. She has nothing. And she you know, she thought she'd be married. She thought she'd have kids. She thought she'd have a house, and she thought, you know, all these other things that she was talking. She was like, I have this one, one bed flat that I own.

00:54:45:24 – 00:55:08:01
And I was like, if I can own property like that, that's a fucking great idea. You know, I own 40%. If you own all of that. Amazing. And then it was, she started her own business graphic designer, been doing it for five years, pays all the bills, goes on holidays. And so that's wonderful like that you're able to do that.

00:55:08:03 – 00:55:35:20
But it was just that one thing of marriage and children that was the main obviously issue. But I guess many people, at whatever age they arrive at that they're kind of self evaluate sometimes. A lot of stuff isn't isn't enough, but it's it's important to kind of show gratitude and appreciative and be content with what you actually do have.

00:55:35:22 – 00:56:01:18
And like you were saying, what's that like quote. Comparison is, is the thief of joy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I mean compare and I just said then about, you know, people when I was younger that they bought the houses and further down that route. And then what you were saying that I, you know, I might be more content with my family life because I don't know what's actually going on with their lives.

00:56:01:18 – 00:56:26:03
I think it's all like, relative. So if there's anyone listening to this and you're like in your 30s, you just hit 30 and you haven't found a partner, or you're 35 and you haven't had kids yet, whatever it is, where you are, I would say try not to do it. It's like building the telescope. Yeah. Yes, that's what.

00:56:26:03 – 00:56:31:17
Yeah. Awesome. Build telescope process first. First things first.

00:56:31:19 – 00:56:56:17
Don't worry about it. I think we'll finish there with that one for next week. The topic for next week is it's coming up anyway. Halloween discuss Halloween, the US and UK like in the US, the way they celebrate Halloween. It needs to be discussed. The matter at best and worst costumes you've seen. This is another one I really want to discuss.

00:56:56:17 – 00:57:20:03
Sexy costumes, Halloween parties. Not, you know, not sure about that, but I do have my thoughts on that. Best sweets to receive trick or treat pranks. Favorite scary movies you like to watch at Halloween? And I've got a couple of horror stories as well that I'll be reading out that will make you shit yourself. Now we have a dilemma, and we also have a something only you know.

00:57:20:07 – 00:57:32:17
The dilemma is called am I a monster? And something only you know is called slow loading women. And we're going to go to dilemmas.

00:57:32:19 – 00:58:04:20
And, and, just so, just tired. You got an issue for a tissue? You're a bit sad, cause I will teach you I can, in your soul, alone, in your flat. Please talk to Vicky. A flat bed. Let that stress off your chest. Well, friend, you deserve like you're safe here to get nice and warm between Vicky and then.

00:58:04:22 – 00:58:27:22
Am I a monster? My 95 year old grandfather is held, is in an elderly home. He has dementia and has gotten worse over the last few years. I live a bit of a distance from him and probably don't visit as much as I should, but I do my best. He can't hear. He doesn't talk much and usually just stays in bed, but he's happy that someone is there.

00:58:27:24 – 00:58:53:17
I've always had a special relationship with him, and it seems to me, based on what my aunt has said to me on several occasions, he asked about me a lot. He's content in the home, but he isn't happy, but he can't live alone. My grandmother passed away in 2008 and we've all honestly been surprised that he wasn't far behind us, but it keeps on chugging along, even though I feel he really doesn't want to.

00:58:53:19 – 00:59:17:03
I was visiting him once, not long ago, and out of nowhere, while looking at a picture of my grandmother and my aunt, he says, I can't wait to see them. That broke me. Here's my dilemma I want what my grandfather wants, and he wants to. And he wants to move on. And those thoughts I have make me feel awful.

00:59:17:05 – 00:59:42:01
I'm lucky to still have grandparents at 38 years old, and I'm not ready to let him go. But he is ready and he wants to be with my grandmother again. Everyone else that's gone before him. Am I terrible for feeling the way that he feels about him moving on? First of all, get him a brass. Yeah, send him off with a, you know, a good send off.

00:59:42:01 – 01:00:03:22
Yeah. No. Are you think you're being compassionate new normal right Manan. Yeah. But look at me. Grab me by my hairs and go. Why won't they let me die? And I was up alone and I don't know who they are first off. And I'm sure they would if they. If he were doing, That's natural. People reach the end of their cycle when they, they decide they've had enough.

01:00:03:24 – 01:00:23:06
And both my grandparents really grateful to the fact that both my grandparents got to that stage where they just went, yeah, I've had enough. Now I'm done. I want to go off like that. Yeah, that's a really comforting thing to hear. And you want what he wants? It's fine that he wants to get off and it's fine if you support that decision.

01:00:23:06 – 01:00:51:16
So. No, you're not a monster. All right? In fact, I think that's more compassionate. Yeah, 100% agree everything you've just said. Like, if he, like, he was saying that he doesn't want to be here and he wants to join, your grandmother and on and he's just had enough. And I think it's amazing that he's got, you know, he's lived for so long that he's done everything, and you know that you want it to.

01:00:51:17 – 01:01:13:05
And he's at a point now where he just wants it over, wants to get off, you know? So I don't feel like it's a bad thing to want. What they want. And I know you're like, I should feel grateful that I've got all the, you know, I've still got both your grandparents at the same time. It's like it's what they want.

01:01:13:05 – 01:01:31:22
Really. And you shouldn't feel bad. Kind of, Not wanting to for it. For it to go on for, for longer than it needs to be, you know, I mean, I think, you know, what you're going to get out of ten years. It's just for you. Yeah. Like going to visit him, not for him. So. And there's enough.

01:01:31:24 – 01:01:52:15
The thing is, is that there's nothing. Presuming you live in England or the States where you can't euthanasia isn't an option unless you're in Australia. Then maybe it is right. Or yeah, some parts of Europe that you can do. So nature is going to take its course anyway. The fact that you're sympathetic to how he feels makes you a good person.

01:01:52:20 – 01:02:06:01
You're overthinking it in a massive way, and you should not feel guilty for how you feel. Yeah, I totally agree something. And you know.

01:02:06:03 – 01:02:19:05
Something, you, you know, you. Slow loading women. I was probably 20.

01:02:19:07 – 01:02:44:11
Did you put down the mic? No, I was just the way you said slow loading women. He made me laugh slowly, I did women. I was probably 20, which is 30 years ago. The internet was new and as you can remember, it had dial up modems and the slow loading pictures of naked women. I wasn't very smart and found a site with slow loading women every night.

01:02:44:13 – 01:03:13:12
Sometimes it's like loading women. I paid the monthly fee and so some slow loading pitches. I had no idea that the monthly fee would, keep on being billed to me. And after probably six months, I realized that I was missing money every month. Now, the problem was that I couldn't for the life of me, remember the site, and that I was very, that I was a very good member of.

01:03:13:14 – 01:03:43:03
I hadn't used anything after the first month, the payments descriptions on my bank statements had no clue in them either. They just said x, x, x, and the amount back then there wasn't a login on your bank via, the internet. So I was freaking out. Being an introvert with the idea and pressure that I was going to have to go to the bank and explain what was going on, I couldn't talk to my parents, my brothers or friends to get advice.

01:03:43:05 – 01:04:02:11
I had to fix the problem myself. I ended up switching banks, which meant that I got rid of my bank account without having to explain what the problem was. I probably paid for the slow loading women for over eight months. I could have gone to a brothel with that money and that is something I need. I know, that's great one.

01:04:02:11 – 01:04:25:09
I enjoyed that. Just the slow loading women just fucking sent me with. Well, we've all been there, mate. We've all been there. So the topic for next week is Halloween. We know we've got a lot of American listeners. Send us in your favorite costumes and how even if you celebrate, I know you celebrate it because everyone in America goes way over the top.

01:04:25:11 – 01:04:40:06
Send it in to lads anon pod@gmail.com. I forgot the email then. Patrons, we will see you today, Friday and normies. We will see you on Monday three.