#128 | Christmas 2025 | What Makes A Christmas Dinner?

00:00:00:10 – 00:00:28:13
321. Go. It. I finally feel like, what it was like to be a Premier League footballer. To be the 0.001% of making it as a baller and just my game crumbling in front of my eyes and just being out of my rhythm and being out of sorts. And it was hard, man. So I went to do the the food shop yesterday.

00:00:28:14 – 00:00:45:19
Oh, yeah. And I was, I was a out of as always. Is that an additional pressure? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So additional pressure that you need to get stuff done. And so for people that don't know, how many supermarkets do you, when you do the big shop, how many supermarkets do you go to? I go to five.

00:00:45:21 – 00:01:13:00
I drive every single mum. I will never, ever, ever understand this process. I just do not understand why you why you go to five supermarkets? Because different shops do different bits than they know one supermarket. Well, super. Like if you go to a big Asda or a big Morrisons, you can get everything you need in one shop. What is it that you can't get in Sainsbury's that you can get in Morrisons?

00:01:13:05 – 00:01:38:09
What is it? So so so Aldi get most stuff in there. Yeah, but some stuff Lidl only do. But what? Fine. Give me example. So I, I dunno like mainly I go in there for the big box of Yorkshire tea that they do in Lidl and I think they do an Aldi. So he's like oh please tell me you there's more.

00:01:38:11 – 00:01:56:20
You don't just go to a little for a big box of Yorkshire tea. No no no. So because right. But this, this is so you have some weird sauna and, hobbies. I know, yeah I know it's funny, but it also. Ricky, it's not just this. It's like, if unless you come to your own conclusion about something, you won't do it.

00:01:56:20 – 00:02:12:13
Even if you're given good advice. Yeah. And I, I know, I know, I didn't know that about myself until you said this on the pot. And I was like, no, that's not right. My mates, my go to make sure like that is absolutely right. We tell you all the advice and you just do not do it. Yeah.

00:02:12:13 – 00:02:28:19
And you look at and you, but you go, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. And you'd like. I'm wasting my breath here and you're wasting your breath. Just say I'm not going to do it. I'm going to ignore you. Just say that. I'd prefer that it'd be more respectful to just call me me off. Good. Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

00:02:28:21 – 00:02:48:13
Anyway, I was in Audi, right? And, normally when I, when I shop, I fill my trolley up. I have, like, you know, like, meat comes in plastic containers, structured boxes. Yeah. The structured boxes go at the front. Yeah. The odd shaped stuff goes in the middle and then not bread. Soft stuff goes at the back. It's a pale.

00:02:48:15 – 00:03:13:17
Yeah. Exactly like a like a Premier League football. I do the stretching, do my homework and all that. Like, you know I've got it out on, all on the trolley, all on the conveyor belt. So the packaging was there, the hard stuff and then the mix and then fruit got to the bit where in Aldi they just throw the shopping at you, grab it, put all the stuff, the hard stuff, the bottom of the bags.

00:03:13:17 – 00:03:37:16
They've got a great foundation, a good base to put everything on. Nothing gets squished right. And then you build first. First bit of meat went in there, second bit third. It slipped through my fingers and I that fuck. Right. So I went to go and get it again. But then I saw another item slide down. So that fucker and he slowed down to pick the pace up where she's getting it, where she's scanning the item and chucking it at me.

00:03:37:17 – 00:03:55:03
Oh right. Your. Yeah, yeah. It's going faster than you can pack. Yeah, yeah that's right. Right. And then I went to pick up another thing and it slipped through my hand. And then the second thought I was like, shall I put it in this bag? More items are coming down and I'm I'm starting to panic now. I've lost my head.

00:03:55:05 – 00:04:13:05
I've got proper head loss. Yeah. And then a quarter of the way through the shampoo. Shampoo bottle came as I picked up the lid unraveled. Got shampoo on my hands. I'm standing there dilly dallying. I don't know what to do. And shopping is just building and I was just like, I can't wait for this to be over. Yeah.

00:04:13:06 – 00:04:33:05
And it just completely unsettled me. My bags were packed like fucking an idiot. Pack them. I was embarrassed and I was so ashamed at my shop in a bit of a and I was just like, total fucking head lost. I just got out of there. I sat in the car, really fucked off, and I just thought, this is exactly what happens to a footballer.

00:04:33:11 – 00:04:51:12
You know, one pass doesn't go right and it gets in their rage. They get in their own heads. And this, you know, the shopping parallels. Exactly. And I mean exactly the same. Yeah I, I've been in this situation before really where I know I'm like a League two footballer when it comes to this. I'm not even I, I bet I'm Sandy League.

00:04:51:12 – 00:05:14:22
I would say I'm terrible so much, said my missus. Just I have to stand aside when my missus packs and I'm sitting there, I'm like, I could be helping here. But I know the minute I start helping, I'm not helping. Yeah, making everything worse. And it's like the it's like a blessing in disguise as well, because the same applies to decorating the house is more or less I'm just not allowed near it.

00:05:14:24 – 00:05:31:08
More or less. That's understandable. Yeah, I am a bit slapdash. I did have to go. I did have to go in because we having some carpets put down, so it had to be finished, not leave work. So I was the only one. And I'm like, see, I've got. What do you mean? No, no no man. Someone had to do it.

00:05:31:08 – 00:05:54:09
And I came to the I did it, I came to the floor. I couldn't tell you how nervous I was painting it. I think all sorts of things. Like yesterday I went to Tottenham Hotspur Stadium and I produced a podcast live in front of a galley who were editing and vision mixing as I was podcasting. Right? Oh, fuck yeah, it was a big deal.

00:05:54:10 – 00:06:18:13
Yeah, it was a lot of people there and I was fine. I felt calm, right. But then podcast a long, long time. But even in that situation where you've got like a studio galley, everything's going on like a TV, it's a TV show. I'll tell you about a TV studio. Yeah. And you've just gone in there, right? So did you die?

00:06:18:14 – 00:06:39:01
You were just telling me this. Yeah, I was there a long day that you did. You recorded free podcasts, and then you had to travel one hour from. So you had to drive 45 minutes to the train station. Your your local train station. Yeah. So we did three podcasts the football Twitter, the Lions to Fighting Cock and Javan.

00:06:39:03 – 00:06:59:02
Yeah. And then I and then I was like, I missed my first train. So, so I knew I was going to be like going to Spurs, but it wasn't too bad because we give us a two hour buffer. So I got the train to, I drove the 45 minutes to Chippenham, Chippenham to Paddington and the cafe said, do you want a car?

00:06:59:02 – 00:07:15:00
We can send you a car. And Alison Lee and I, I bit bougie, but I drove to get that train because you know where you are with a train with the traffic in London. I was in the cab an hour and 40 minutes from Paddington to Enfield. We had training ground. This it was mayhem. So I got there.

00:07:15:00 – 00:07:51:19
There was no buffer. They were like, right, we need to start straight away. I was like, okay, good. Parachuted straight in. There you go. There's you say. Yeah. And I felt more comfortable in that moment where I had Mickey has a Josh James. I had a bloke I'd never met before. Was thrust upon me and, a woman from Samaritans called My Lovely Woman and the galley and the director and, head of PR for Tottenham Hotspur, standing there watching, and I felt more comfortable there than I did in, in the bedroom.

00:07:51:21 – 00:07:58:15
The audience I the day before that, before the carpets had to go down.

00:07:58:17 – 00:08:24:09
Mate, I couldn't imagine how. How have you been? So how would you be so calm in that situation? Not that, you know, going into that. I'm not. I'm not. This is I'm not saying I'm not blowing my own trumpet here. I'm just saying, like, if you've done something 5000 times, it doesn't really matter as long as you can get yourself in the space of like, you've done this a million times before, this is no different then you're right.

00:08:24:09 – 00:08:26:17
Like.

00:08:26:19 – 00:08:49:01
It'd be like writing a tweet or. But the the environment was different. Yeah. You're playing away from home. Yeah. But it's the principle is the same. I knew so I'd spent to be fair, I'd spent two days writing running order. Right. So I knew what I was saying. I knew what I was doing, okay. And I knew that I would be bring in, you know, there was going to be corners coming in.

00:08:49:01 – 00:09:08:00
And actually, I didn't have to do a lot other than facilitate the conversation. Really? Yeah. So, yeah, there was there was that. So, yeah, it was fun. It was fun. It was I'm not you know, I the best bit about that, you know, despite all that and seeing the training ground was holding the Europa League trophy that was I didn't know that you weren't allowed to hold it when you did that.

00:09:08:00 – 00:09:49:13
All right, so, yeah, I know you're quite jealous of me. Mate, when I saw that. So there's two things, right? You did a I can't remember if I saw the the photos first or your Instagram post of you, would you kind of just filmed, selfie. Just saying. I've just done the podcast and all that, that, there's a couple of frames where if you can freeze it and then you do the smile of you being there, and it is so pure that it's, you know, that proud, kind of like, I don't know, you could just see the goodness in how good you felt, and how kind of you were just like,

00:09:49:15 – 00:10:07:03
I've had a good day. Yeah. Oh, like, I felt like it just looked like good. I was how I was felt content that I'd finished the day. I never achieved something. Oh, nice for me. Thank you. I didn't even notice that. But but but I was. So I was on the way out of the reception, but. Well, so.

00:10:07:05 – 00:10:26:16
So I got dropped off at the Academy. Part of the reception, and I was looking around and there's like sweet wrappers everywhere, and there's like just random families just sitting around. Obviously, they drop the kids off the train. I didn't know, I just thought this was the main reception. And I'm like, got to be honest, expensive, more. Right?

00:10:26:19 – 00:10:48:09
And then and then the PR, the Tony, the PR guy I've been working with to set this all up, even. Mate, you're in the wrong entrance. This is this is just like PR. Yes, it's like that, you know. You know, but under eights come like parents drop them off and they start their thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when I got round to the first team reception, I was like, oh, I get it now.

00:10:48:09 – 00:11:09:09
This is fucking beautiful. This is lovely. Anyway, we rushed in to do the pod and then it came out. Anyway, I'm going to leave here, but just do not go walking down these corridors, right? You're not allowed. It is restricted access. Like when you're in the academy at Spurs. You're not allowed in this area. You have to earn your stripes to get into the first team.

00:11:09:13 – 00:11:34:02
We've talked about this in the preview, but anyway, I'm sitting there. I'm sitting there, Rick and waiting for my cab. And I look to the right and I was like, oh my God, that's the Europa League trophy. That's the Europa League trophy. Just looking at, yeah, I did a selfie and the bloke so many men come here.

00:11:34:04 – 00:11:58:12
Hey, do you want to hold it? And I was like, yeah, it's all right. I mean, we all, Anyway, you guys. Yeah. And I went, what? Can I hold it, hold it by the bottom and we'll take some photos. And I was like, right, this is insane. I it's 30, 33 pounds. It's 15kg. That is that's what I mean.

00:11:58:12 – 00:12:30:01
That's that. If if something is too heavy, too heavy for a trophy to be, lofted above your head, not necessarily heavy, I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it it it it does. Look it is. Well, I it was a good day. I've been looking to do a stadium tour, especially this season with my kids, because you get to see the Europa League trophy, but it's got one of those velvet kind of ropes cordoned off when you get to kind of, you know, when you do goes for ice with celebrities and your arms just hovering behind them.

00:12:30:01 – 00:12:51:03
Me not touching them. Yeah. You kind of like that with the Europa League and you can't touch it. You can't get anywhere near it. And then I saw these WhatsApp messages come free of just you just skulking down the Tottenham corridors just over this Europa League trophy. I was like, you fucking what? What was that? Oh yeah. Oh.

00:12:51:03 – 00:13:15:09
It's like that. It's fucking Reeves. You're a bastard. But it's really. It's not. You know, I don't think anyone's allowed to touch it. You got to be a certain breed, all right? Plebeians are not even nowhere near it. Should we run the jingle? Yeah. Let's do it.

00:13:15:11 – 00:13:46:01
On the night, hazy like Band of Brothers playing tunes. Hi. Is quiet. Midnight waves surfing free till daylight breaks. Rhythm hit us different ways. Love music's I, we prayed with our tongues in cheek banners. And we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise. Hello and welcome to Lads anonymous. It's episode 128.

00:13:46:03 – 00:14:06:18
I'm Ricky, he's Flav Jay best mates. One main topic we answer your life dilemmas and confessions. And I feature something only you know. And everything remains anonymous all way. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast. How's it going? So I see that. Tired? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Danny boy 84. You just got bad. Mate, is fucking Matt in it?

00:14:06:18 – 00:14:30:12
That is a that is an absolute shoo in as well. You can't walk around with that kind of energy and expect nothing to happen. Eventually someone will catch a movie. It's a lesson to to to people like him, really. And the people that celebrate him is that you just you still anyone acting like that, giving it the big I am someone.

00:14:30:12 – 00:14:54:12
There's always someone bigger, stronger, more ruthless. And he got an absolute kick in. His face is like, unbelievable in it. Yes. It's terrible. I mean, yeah, you think I'm like, you saying that you can't give out that energy and you can't go around being like that because it will catch up with you eventually. Not three months ago, you had a fucking knife in his neck.

00:14:54:12 – 00:15:18:19
Did you not learn your lesson? Being stabbed in the throat? Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. It's not. You would. Yeah. You would tone it down a little bit. It wouldn't. I mean, I don't know the backstory. I don't really want to know the backstory, but I just it just came up on my, TikTok feed page, and I just saw it, and I was like, that can't be fucking real.

00:15:18:21 – 00:15:53:20
Just scrolling back through it and and hitting the face of a hammer and beating up by four geezers. And it is just me. It is absolutely grim, utterly grim. But Merry Christmas to you, is it? No, no I ain't. And, we will get into the Christmassy bit. What I do want to say is we had a milestone this week that's anonymous, and we surpassed over 500,000 downloads, half a million downloads.

00:15:53:22 – 00:16:15:09
I just want to say thank you to everyone that has downloaded, listened or downloaded send emails in submissions for something 90 you know, dilemmas or the positive comments that you leave on Spotify. The writing and not all of it. Anyone and everyone. If you're listening to this and you've been a part of this show, I just want to say thank you.

00:16:15:09 – 00:16:36:14
It means the world to us. And yet we're not diary of a CEO or Joe Rogan. And those numbers won't have, you know, but it's amazing for us. And I just want to say thank you from the bottom, my heart for continuing to listen and tune in to lots and on. Should we get on to the actual, Christmassy bit now?

00:16:36:16 – 00:17:02:19
We can do it. Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, absolutely. It's Christmas time. I'll fucking love. I don't know what to tell you. Something weird. Yeah, on. Well, I don't know if you sing. This is weird, right? My, my, Riff, I'm just telling you now, I think I've made your afternoon more difficult than it needs to be, because I've been trying to straighten up the camera on this recording.

00:17:02:21 – 00:17:32:23
Yeah, and I'll be moving around. I have no idea whether I've put it back to where it was before. So if you start cursing me, it be good for good reason. I didn't mean to, but, you know. No, no. So my stepmom battery. Yeah. Invited my mum. My dad's previous wife. Yeah. And her husband to have Christmas with them.

00:17:33:00 – 00:17:55:11
They're all meeting up and having Christmas together. I'm going to go as well. Obviously. Travel. Well, what, like a wholesome, nice thing to do. But I mean, even it's amazing. I think even, like. Yeah, even even I don't know really. I think some people would find it strange, but I think that I've never really just felt like she wanted to invite my mum.

00:17:55:11 – 00:18:18:18
And so I guess we can all have Christmas together, which is lovely. Yeah. That is, that is really. That's really sweet. And you kind of got, Yeah. You have to. I know most people wouldn't do that, would they? Not not you wouldn't invite your ex and to have that kind of, not self-assured ness of it's in the past.

00:18:18:18 – 00:18:47:08
They are in the 70s. They get to a point where, you know, you just all that shit doesn't matter anymore. I don't know, maybe it does. I don't know that it would be a part of me that if I was having Christmas dinner with one of someone that had, you know, been with my missus, that hasn't popping a roast potato in my mouth, just thinking she's touched your dick, and I know.

00:18:47:10 – 00:19:10:14
Yeah. Right there. Is that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It could have happened 40 years ago. I, but I know, and that's what I'm thinking about while I'm eating this potato, so I, I wouldn't be able to do it because I'm not, a strong man. I'm not. I, I wouldn't be able to kind of go through with it, but it's.

00:19:10:14 – 00:19:33:15
Yeah. Are place to play. What are you, How, like, how ready are you for Christmas, mate? I've done nothing. Nothing? I mean, my missus has, but I've done nothing. I'd say when she's have ready. What, like, There's presents. I need to buy this. I've done nothing. I've done zero. I've bought, I've bought. Let's see what I've done.

00:19:33:15 – 00:19:57:00
I've paid for carpet to be laid, I bought wardrobes, I've paid for the entire house pretty much through the year. And now there's no money left, right? So there's no presents. There's no money left for presents. The present is the house. That's the presents anyway. So, now I feel like because I've been so busy and today I'm like, I'm not even, like.

00:19:57:00 – 00:20:19:24
This is one of four podcasts I'm doing today, so I don't know. I'm just hoping that they understand I've been busy and that when, like, I don't know, I don't turn up with shitloads of presents and stuff that they'll understand. So. No, I'm. I'm sure I'm not ready. That's. What. Are you ready? I, fairly ready. I've still got my, like, my nephew's presents to buy.

00:20:20:01 – 00:20:43:12
I still got my dad's to buy because now I'm at this stage where I don't know what to buy people anymore. And like, with my missus and my kids, like, so my kids, my missus will sort all that out, and there'll be a couple of items that I'll see, and I'll be like, she'll like that. She'll like that, buy them.

00:20:43:14 – 00:21:07:12
And then it's like I contribute a bit to it. But then my missus normally does the main run of that, unless absolutely fine. But I'm also getting like stressed out with, Secret Santa. So we do Secret Santa on my missus side, and we do Secret Santa on my side, and it's all done via an app or whatever.

00:21:07:12 – 00:21:31:09
And you put down on your list what people want, but then people like that, I'm getting messages, anonymous messages saying it's nearly Christmas. You haven't had the delivery. What would you want? I need to get you something. And it's like, I don't even know what I want for like £20 or £25. Like just why it why, why is someone buying me a present now a thing I have to worry about?

00:21:31:11 – 00:21:55:00
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. My missus is taking me out outside. I've just been round my mum's. You haven't done your list. What, you giving anything or you're stressing them out. You're stressing me out. I genuinely would rather have nothing, received nothing. Didn't have to go through the process of telling everybody what I want. I'd rather have nothing. I'm not sure that's true with you, though, Ricky.

00:21:55:00 – 00:22:16:05
Actually, no, no, not really nice. No, I do want something. What? What what is it that you don't know? I, I, I'm like, looking around and I'm like, I that's the thing. I'm just guys scrolling through Amazon and I'm like O2 or whatnot, as I say. How old are you now? 42. Right. 4343 oh, yeah. It was just 43.

00:22:16:05 – 00:22:42:20
Yeah, yeah. Happy birthday. Yeah. As a 43 year old man, are you genuinely sitting down on Christmas morning and going, the better be presents for me as well. No no no no. All right. So there was absolutely nothing for you. I think if there was nothing at all, nothing. Nothing. Yes. Zero things. You're just well, you're just watching your wife pass presents out to everyone.

00:22:43:01 – 00:22:59:10
And as you look, the presence of diminishing from under the tree, you know, I think I've actually got my one year and then it's like the last present, you know. So she saved the best till last, and she goes to give it to you and divert to one of the kids. So, yeah. You're like, what? Like nothing.

00:22:59:16 – 00:23:23:11
Nothing, nothing. Oh fuck off. Yeah, yeah, I think nothing is a lot. But I think, I'm not I'm not, bothered about Christmas presents or anything like that. Or birthday presents. Nothing. But I'm. I don't mind. That's the same. I like the best thing about Christmas isn't the presents for me. The best thing is just chilling out, having a drink.

00:23:23:13 – 00:23:45:13
Everyone's cool. You sit down and have a meal, have a little snooze. It's just that lovely, relaxed feeling on Christmas Day that's the best fit for me. I like other people opening stuff. It's one of your thoughts when you wake up on Christmas morning, your eyes open. You're like, I don't have to record a podcast. Thank fuck. Do you know what?

00:23:45:13 – 00:24:05:09
I've got Boxing Day off as well. And the day after, because Spurs went and hang on a second win. I suppose playing I don't know I, I don't wanna know either I know I yeah I know but I think I do have to have Boxing Day cause specifying the day after 20th. No, this is not the podcast.

00:24:05:09 – 00:24:27:20
That podcast in 2nd December. No. What the fuck am I talking about anyway? Look, I 28th Christmas Day. It will be fine. No Christmas. Sorry, sorry. That was rubbish. You. You won't have to do anything. No one. That's nice in it. You don't have to think. The only thing you have to think about. What am I going to eat next?

00:24:27:22 – 00:24:49:00
What? What little delight am I going to find that I'm going to be? What time do you start drinking? I'm like, when can I start drinking? That's what. Great question, great question. Now I have always like for the last, last year we didn't, but the year before I think I did 3 or 4 Christmases at my gaff. Yeah.

00:24:49:02 – 00:25:08:15
And I did all the cooking. So when I start cooking, you know as well as I know that when you start cooking, the tunes are going, you've got to have a beer, you got to have a red wine. You got it. When you saying the tunes are going, you know, talking about fucking in the bushes and, you know, supersonic.

00:25:08:15 – 00:25:37:04
He was talking about Chris Smith, vertically up, crashes into us to die, but yes, I yes, well Christmas everyone. Merry Christmas is Christmas music. Is it? I bit this mass, right. But, it's your playlist. That's what goes on. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Because I'm fucking taking the one cooking, boy. But, yeah, I will go for.

00:25:37:04 – 00:25:58:23
And I'll go through some beers, but it won't be Canada beers. There's a psychological thing of if I have bottles, bottles of beers, it will give me a nice little, like, a little buzz, but I can carry on with my day and carry on doing stuff, being a little bit tipsy if I get on the cans, like I'm nicking cans of Red stripe, but like 11:00 in the morning, there's going to be trouble.

00:25:59:00 – 00:26:18:13
It can be trouble. And like, my missus will probably come into the kitchen while I've been nicking cans of Bridget. I'm like, Where's Rick? And I'm just in the garden pissing. What are you doing? I can't be assed. Got a tweet? Fuck it. Smoking a fagot. The sides have. Yeah, yeah. So I have to, I like to go.

00:26:18:16 – 00:26:42:15
I probably won't start before 11:00. Yeah. 11:00. 11 is, you're an hour away from midday. You know, you start in the cooking, then probably a little bit earlier, but I'll go off ten. I'll go about ten off ten. Oh, crap. That happened. Fuck me straight in there. Oh, no. I was about to say not even a cheeky little buck's face or a little.

00:26:42:15 – 00:26:58:12
Yeah, a little boxes in the morning. Get that out of the way. And then whiskey. The like. I don't know, really. I it's just for me. So they, I'm going to do what I want. I'm going to do what I want. Yeah, I don't I haven't done what I want. Oh yeah I've, I've done the opposite of what I want.

00:26:58:13 – 00:27:17:17
What I want to do all day is sit on my ass, play computer or watched darts or watch cricket or watch football. Yeah, have my hand down my pants. That's what I want. Sounds good. The opposite of what I want is what I do every single day, right? Right. So on Christmas Day, I do. I want.

00:27:17:17 – 00:27:51:09
Yeah, okay. And what I want to do is have this lovely experience with my family, and, Yeah, but be completely inebriated with alcohol throughout the day. Yeah. We didn't get to speak about this, but your your birthday. You did. You had, you watched the entire boxset of. Yeah. So I first of all as a little kind of a, as a star, I watched the 80s version, cartoon version of Transformers get so, meh.

00:27:51:09 – 00:28:14:10
And there's so much in that film. I know it's it's a cartoon, right? You don't see the animation, but it's but there's just so many bits to it, the emotions in there and the one line kind of like jokes in there and, it's just great. So great. All of it. Sadness. So it's a true example of good versus evil.

00:28:14:10 – 00:28:31:20
Like before the Star Wars, there was a pretty Star Wars was when it came out. But there was that. That is like like if you've got a young boy or maybe a young girl as well. I don't know if you kids have ever watched it. I tried to try to make them. Yes. Weird. They just doing that. And for us it was just like, of course, why wouldn't anyone watch this?

00:28:31:22 – 00:28:54:12
Especially if you're a kid. But they like you. They want. They have different things that stimulate them. Now, the amount of times I've tried to get my kids involved in a, nostalgia film that I absolutely love, and they just kind of wrinkle them. And I try not tried Goonies, but The Goonies. Oh, okay. I might try that.

00:28:54:12 – 00:29:17:24
You try that. The the probably stupid little brain's just been so rotted by the fucking TikTok and Instagram Reels. Yeah, they can't sit still for an hour and watch it. And maybe if it was in real form or TikTok form, they just scroll it. But it's the entire film. Yeah. Big Trouble in Little China. Tried to get my kids to watch it.

00:29:18:01 – 00:29:56:15
They cannot spell that. That I can understand, that I can understand, it is dated. Yeah, but it's never in the same when they try that one. I think they have. Yeah, I think they have, actually. Yeah. It's still harrowing. The whole scene. Yeah. Yeah, it never and and still, there there's a, an amazing YouTube video of someone trying to sell their house and they sing along to never Ending Story, but the never ending property.

00:29:56:17 – 00:30:20:04
And then they replace all of the song, but just talking about the house, and it's, you know, where something is so awfully dumb that it goes viral. It's, my, it's the fucking one of my most favorite videos. Absolutely. Class. Right. I remember last year talking to you. Yep. The hangover you had on Boxing Day? Yes. Was it Boxing Day?

00:30:20:05 – 00:30:39:03
Yeah. It was. And that was a real that was a real turning moment. And you're like, I'm not drink drinking again because you were just felt so bad. Like is it a are you at that point where like I'm going to do it, I'm going to get fucking drunk again? Or are you like, it's a little, it's a little bit, I thought, I don't want to.

00:30:39:07 – 00:31:03:22
I want to feel like that again. December 26th I stopped drinking for four months. From that day, I didn't have a drink for four months until, the Eubank Benn fight. First or first one, and is in the back of my mind. Do that again. Yeah, something like that. What? Not to go as heavy or go heavy and then.

00:31:03:24 – 00:31:19:21
No, it wasn't that wasn't just Christmas Day. And then I was like, I can't these hangovers so bad. I've got to quit for four months. That was like my blood pressure was through the roof. I had to have checkups I had it wasn't just like I had drunk a lot on Christmas Day. It was like I was ill.

00:31:19:23 – 00:31:47:21
I was like, I was stage three, hypertension, blood pressure, bad. Like I couldn't necessarily have my operation I needed because my blood pressure was so high that it wasn't just because I had a bad hangover from Christmas diary. I took the the the the whiskey hangover on Boxing Day was was a bad one. It I was a I was I had my checkup oh about four days before Christmas.

00:31:47:21 – 00:32:12:10
So I knew there was an issue. Right. But I was like, well, I'm just going to enjoy Christmas and then. All right. But then I did wake up on Boxing Day feeling awful, like, fuck. Oh, God. So like compounded, I had this background notion that I needed to have my blood pressure in check before my operation came around was to fix my my, the old dick.

00:32:12:12 – 00:32:33:14
It wasn't my dick. So it was next to my dick. The doctor, had took. And, so I needed to get my blood pressure down before I had the operation. So, and there's a history of blood pressure, and so. And and and I was my my lifestyle was. I was just sitting in this chair all day.

00:32:33:14 – 00:32:55:00
Now things are different. I'm excited. Wait, look, the point is, I. I'm going to be drinking on Christmas Day. Yes. Yeah. Okay, okay. Well, I get what I get. Fucking. So I'm going to get your face. I said yeah everyone's getting face times. Not everyone. Everyone not like you're getting one. Friends and close family all face time. Good, good.

00:32:55:00 – 00:33:15:00
So you say you all going round you dad said. And sorry. You said about your mum's been invited. It's taken up that often. Is she. Yeah, yeah. They coming up on Christmas Eve, I think. I haven't spent Christmas Day with my mum for about eight years. Oh my God, this is going to be so nice. So. And there's not enough room at my mum's house to kind of have everybody around.

00:33:15:00 – 00:33:36:07
So that's why they invite them. So I think yeah, I think it's gonna be a nice thing. Oh, that's gonna be fucking sweet. Yeah. Free dogs eat free dogs and a dow terrier, which is a big sort of terrier, Frank. And, it can be a madhouse. That is. Yeah, she is. You know what I am? What time are you going over?

00:33:36:09 – 00:33:59:02
Well, this is it, right? The the conversation is, are we got Christmas Eve because we're having, like, an open house sort of party on Christmas Eve at my, at the New, new gaff. Not party like, just coming up for drinks and. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So we might probably end up staying there and then going over early first thing Christmas morning and staying Christmas night.

00:33:59:04 – 00:34:28:12
Nice. Yeah. I think that's the worst Boxing Day. So what she, she has done for the last since I. No, no, she always works boxing. She works in hospitality. Then she's a, god doing stuff on Boxing Day. What more. What more on more on books up. Fucking sent the parks. Just stays there for Christmas knowing full well people have fuckers after work it because you've decided, wouldn't it be nice to stay at center parts?

00:34:28:18 – 00:34:52:06
Yeah, it would be nice. What about my family's been torn apart on Boxing Day so that you can have your fucking Boxing Day, and then the parks. Yeah. Bastards like what I say. We've we've spoken a lot on, Christmas food, dinner. Yeah, yeah. And you're, you're very against, mashed potato being on a Christmas dinner now. Yeah.

00:34:52:06 – 00:35:23:06
Okay. Well, I say that. I see that, right? Yeah. I'm at my mum's this year, and I think that's the thing I'm most excited about because my mum's cooking is phenomenal. I remember, but I first got the mashed potato to. Well, I'm just I want to know, does this dog put mashed potato on the well, I think I don't know if she'll she'll do because there'll be lots of, bowls and plates and stuff.

00:35:23:06 – 00:35:41:18
And you go inside yourself. Really? So I think there will be. You can have Mash if you want. Yeah. I mean, if you want and I, I yeah, yeah. Like, if you want a bit of mash you, you to put a bit much on your Christmas dinner it, you know having Christmas dinner but if you. Yeah if you want mash on it you put on it.

00:35:41:22 – 00:36:05:06
Just don't say you're having my all Christmas dinner. Just say you're having a dinner on Christmas Day. That's ridiculous. You're not. You're not fucking eating Christmas dinner then. All right, let me let me know. I'm not either. I'm not. I'm watching you. Just you just having dinner? I'm having dinner while everyone else around me has Christmas dinner. But if you go to.

00:36:05:08 – 00:36:15:18
If you go to, Italy, you go to Bologna. Yeah. And you order.

00:36:15:20 – 00:36:39:22
A carbonara. Yeah. Are you having spaghetti bolognese merely because you're in Bologna? Or are you having a carbonara? You don't have an apology. All you. You're having a carbonara night, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So if you're if you're eating mashed potato with a Christmas dinner, you're not having Christmas dinner, are you? You're having you're having dinner on Christmas Day.

00:36:39:24 – 00:37:01:05
But it isn't Christmas dinner because you put mashed potato on it. You put bacon in a polynesia's. It's still a Polynesian. No, I think it is. No, it is not. No, it is not. Ricky. It's a different thing. Right? What is it? Okay. What what is a traditional Christmas dinner then to me, to be able to have a sit down and have my Christmas dinner and go.

00:37:01:07 – 00:37:26:16
Do you know what? I'm having a lovely Christmas dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't fucking start talking about having a Christmas dinner unless you're having another Christmas dinner. I'm. I'm also not having a Christmas dinner because I'm not eating turkey. Okay. I know for a fact you don't have turkey. You have beef and chicken. Tiny. Well, this there has been discussion, so it's either a beef and gammon or chicken and gammon.

00:37:26:16 – 00:37:43:01
You. So you've never had a Christmas dinner. You've never had one. You've never. You don't know. You don't know what you haven't. We buy a like a crown Turkey crown, okay. Not the whole big thing. And we have a couple of fucking dry slices, right? Oh, no. Right, right, right. But, you know, look, it ain't about whether you like it.

00:37:43:05 – 00:38:07:08
It's Christmas Day. Therefore you have that food. It's not about what you like. Are you getting this mistaken here? Not everyone likes brussel sprouts. You've got to eat them if you're having Christmas dinner. Okay? Alright. Okay. So the point I'm making is you can't change things and call it the same. It isn't the same. It is Christmas dinner or it isn't Christmas dinner.

00:38:07:09 – 00:38:28:13
I, I don't know why this is difficult. It's cauliflower cheese. Part of Christmas dinner. Oh, yeah. I don't think it is part of tradition. My fucking Christmas dinner is. Well, exactly. This is my plate. This is it. This is you make your own Christmas dinner. We agree. No, no no no. Mashed potatoes, mental mashed potato. No one mashed potato on a Sunday roast.

00:38:28:15 – 00:38:49:03
And this is the thing. Christmas dinner stems from a Sunday roast. Latin America. Yes. Yeah, yeah. No one in America. Everyone. So you listen to. This is never you. None of you have ever had Christmas dinner in your life. Not one of you. Oh, my God. Know what they put Collard greens. What the fuck? What the fuck? Right, I hear that, but what is collard?

00:38:49:03 – 00:39:14:09
Great. It's great. Green beans. Green beans? Yeah. Well why why why why call it die? What? Because, like, you put their names on everything, don't they? But, like, they take our, our language and then laugh at us for for the the words we use. You know, it's our fucking language. You you you borrowed it. You took it, and then you change it made it worse.

00:39:14:09 – 00:39:43:21
And then you look at us and go, no, what you're doing is stupid. But you didn't say, get your own language. Talk another language. You're talking English. Talk another language. So let's agree here. What? What, this is all right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Brussels starts. Okay. Brussels sprouts. And if we say Brussels sprouts, right? Are we saying that it has to be, traditional of just boiled Brussels sprouts everyone hates?

00:39:43:21 – 00:40:02:05
Or can we zhuzh up with some slices of bacon, salt, pepper. But yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's fine. The Brussels sprout is you can zap a Brussels sprout and like, with a bit of bacon if you want or. Yeah, that's fine. I don't have any issues. Love I love sprouts. Yes I tell you what I think they're amazing.

00:40:02:07 – 00:40:29:17
Well Brussels sprouts, roasted carrots, roasted parsnips. Do not even think about serving up boiled carrots. Right. They've got to be roasted. Yeah. What? You can't be bothered. Is that what this is? That's what it like. Sometimes I go around my dad's house and we're sitting down and you've cooked all this food, but you can't. And you also have not boiled carrots, but you can't put that in the oven, honey, glaze them.

00:40:29:19 – 00:40:48:11
Yeah, yeah. So yeah. And, salt and pepper maybe, you know, some I like herbs and or whatever. Yeah. Like something you just boil them and put them on my plate. That's all that's happening. Yeah, yeah. That's that. Yeah. And you eat, you put them in your mouth, Rick. And it just is what? Carry water. Juice. That's what it is.

00:40:48:13 – 00:41:13:14
Whereas a rose carrot substance has character and add something I, I'm here for that. Yeah yeah yeah yeah totally. Right. This is going to be controversial. All right. Most people will say cauliflower cheese I know I'm contradicting myself here, but. Right. Okay. Cheesy leeks. Superior than cauliflower cheese. However, that's not crisp. No Christmas. No. Yeah. I would rather have those.

00:41:13:16 – 00:41:44:20
How much? I'd much rather have cheesy cheesy leeks than cauliflower cheese. But. Right. Cauliflower cheese is there. Yeah, right. Do you have cauliflower cheese? Fuck yeah. It's all right. I'm walking straight back out going I'm demoing cauliflower cheese. And then what else are we talking? Yeah, obviously roast potatoes guys about Yorkshire put that isn't traditional apparently. No it's not, because you're only you're only supposed to have Yorkshire pudding when you have roast beef.

00:41:44:22 – 00:42:05:23
Fuck that man. That's too good. It's too good. It's so good not to have it. And and then now I understand that people can. Well, mashed potato is good. It is. Mashed potato is great, but it's too far out there. Yorkshire pudding is so commonplace on a roast that I think you can transport that to a Christmas dinner still.

00:42:06:00 – 00:42:26:19
Yeah. Okay. Right. No one ever put mashed potato on a roast, ever. Yeah I know, do you know what I, I'm starting to feel that even if I did have. And I do love mashed potato. Mashed potato. You can have like, I don't know, mashed potato sausage and beans. So it's such like, it's just I don't know the low level of mashed potatoes.

00:42:27:00 – 00:42:47:13
It's just had slop to the plate in my opinion. And there is always a danger, if too much gravy that you the Christmas dinner can become sloppy. Yeah. Don't want you do not want that. So where are you at with stuffing? Oh my. I fucking love stuff. I love all the sausage, sausage, meat in it as well. I can imagine that.

00:42:47:15 – 00:43:13:05
Yeah. So much. Not so much. But yeah, it is. Yeah. And I like it to be soft and spongy, but like, like a bit crisped up on the surface as well. A little bit of. Yes of course. Texture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm also like, and I know my mum would, say I'm glad she fucking bit, actually, but I'm going to WhatsApp her WhatsApp for as well as I.

00:43:13:05 – 00:43:43:07
Don't you dare make matters. Hey, I love, carrot and Swede mash. I don't think you can have that either. Like, what a fuck. No. Great Greek. I know, it's nice. Does it belong though? It's a it's a lovely veg that fuzed together. You don't really have it anywhere else. You know, going to a pub and have fucking with your pie and whatever you don't see, you don't see it.

00:43:43:09 – 00:44:07:06
It's a special day. Okay. I don't think it's just it's not traditional. It isn't a no mash. It should be really nearer again. I've got issues with the mash. Okay, but fine. Alright, I'll give you that. If it's in a bowl, separate. Not like you have this on the plate. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Do you know what I don't write?

00:44:07:08 – 00:44:36:16
Sometimes people do shredded red letters and then. But they boil cabbage. So red cabbage, boiled red cabbage. Not really. Yeah. Someone that some people do that is I don't mind it. It's nice, but it's just like. What. You know what we do doing it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Nice condiment trick. Okay, now we're talking, boy. So it's red sauce.

00:44:36:18 – 00:44:59:10
I don't know why. Right. Red sauce is I should imagine is is pretty much tasteless. It's not you know, it doesn't really have anything to it. It's a loving ball. I have to bring it to the party, though. Do you have it? Yeah. No one ever requests it. Or else we just don't bother. Read a I don't know why.

00:44:59:12 – 00:45:23:05
Like, I think you would have a bucket of red sauce by mum. This fella really loves it. Absolutely loves it. I know this is one request. Well, well you know. Yeah. That's cool. So that's, one request. Red sauce. May I look, if you're, if I've, if you're right. Right, right, I got you. I've got a question for you.

00:45:23:05 – 00:45:48:08
Right. Okay. You'll have two condiments. What are you choosing? It's bread sauce economy. Yes. Versus condiment gravy. No. No gravy that you can't. Right. Okay. People that don't have gravy, like, you know, my my daughter Chloe, she doesn't have. She doesn't have gravy. She never has gravy. I don't understand it, but she doesn't. I, she recoils the crazy shit.

00:45:48:10 – 00:46:09:12
Well, she she has a dry. Yeah, yeah. Like we went to the pub the other day. But he as well. And I'm like, man, what's the matter with you? She, she has it dry as well. Yeah. Does does Ram not recognize your fucking job but. Yeah. Same same this same same same as well. And Chloe's the oldest.

00:46:09:12 – 00:46:46:24
I don't know if it's like an intelligence. Maybe a smarter. Maybe it's an intelligence thing, but I, I would go. Gravy is not a condiment. It's an essential. So. Okay, but but you've got mince sauce potentially, if you haven't beef. Yeah. You know, I mean no I, if I was having lamb mentors okay. Blam blam blam then red sauce gravy I think if I'm having beef horseradish relish I get mad.

00:46:47:01 – 00:47:07:14
Yeah I have too much though. It kind of like, doesn't matter what anyone else is cooked. It all tastes like horseradish. I yeah, I know you just put a little bit on. I added to get a kick in there. I'm not like that. Yeah. I want this whole roast potato and all this stuff. It just to taste the horseradish.

00:47:07:16 – 00:47:28:21
I do something really weird. Right. And it's been. It's a kind of family tradition. And I know that people are going to listen to this and be like, you're fucking off. You're right. And this, this will probably send you over the edge as well. Roast potatoes. I cut a little sliver in them and it will not about butter, some salt.

00:47:28:23 – 00:47:52:09
That's how I have my roast potatoes. What in everyone. Every single one. What they do a single roast potato. You prepare this for everybody like that? A no for me. My mum will do the same. My sister will do the same. My uncle does it as well. Roast potato. Every individual raised potato. But when you know when you're at the table, it can happen.

00:47:52:09 – 00:48:14:02
When I'm at the table or when I'm serving. Whenever, as long as my roast potato has been cut in half and it would know the butter is in there melting pot, it's all in there. Yeah. Then straight in a nice buttery, salty potato. Crispy on the outside from there. The trial never tried that but I don't I don't hate it.

00:48:14:02 – 00:48:39:09
It's just I don't look, I hate you. It sounds lovely, but yeah I can't be forced to do that every day. What if you've got seven potatoes? It make. It's worth it, honestly. And sometimes everyone around is all just fiddling with their potatoes constantly. Yeah, and everyone's fiddling with their potato. It's like on a Sunday. Right. So who's not gonna take it in this?

00:48:39:11 – 00:49:02:08
This demon. She won't do you know what she said? She looks. She looks. You know, this is a weird family. This is a weird. She she does think that. But she also said, oh, I can do that. Roast potatoes. Oh, my God, I don't care about roast potatoes. And then when she has it, listen to when she has a roast potatoes.

00:49:02:10 – 00:49:32:09
She picks mayo, she gets mayo and so on. No Christmas dinner on our roast potatoes. That she doesn't. She drives. She does. She's driving. So I leave her voice tonight, but, No, no, I've just been told something fucking disgusting about you. Absolutely revolting. I hope you don't play this in front of your student. I've just been told by your husband the.

00:49:32:10 – 00:49:58:24
On Christmas dinner, you put mayonnaise on your roast potatoes. Like, what is wrong with you? First, you put whole boiled eggs between two pieces of bread and call it a sandwich every Friday. And now I find out on Christmas Day that Jesus Christ is born. You're putting fucking mayonnaise on a Christmas dinner, right? That's hold. Yeah. Good, good.

00:49:58:24 – 00:50:19:03
She needs to. I've said to many, many a time. Yeah. How are you? Not like the humble roast. But I will say everything to you. Yeah, yeah. Like she's indifferent, though, which is even weirder. Like. Yeah. Yeah. Strange. That is strange. Right before we, go on to the next bit, have you got, like, Boxing Day after you've done all this?

00:50:19:07 – 00:50:45:03
Yeah, actually, I want to ask you, do you. This can be a lot of people at your house. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You've a gaming family, do you do? One of my fondest memories. Yeah, is when I ran to my cousin's house and we played, charades and all all of the big family game stuff. And I used to have so much fun, and I try to incorporate that into my family and all of the dinner and all that lot.

00:50:45:03 – 00:51:05:14
And we get roast games out and stuff, and I love it. Absolutely love it. But I'm looking at you and does everyone else. Yeah, I don't know, but it's my Christmas fucking play games. So when I was younger we got on my old man's on like a 28th and we all just, we'd have some food and then we'll just get a whiskey out and sit around the table, play cards.

00:51:05:14 – 00:51:22:08
That was fun. But just guess. Age. Drinking whiskey isn't a game. No, but they all had young kids and it just felt like just fucking ruined everything. Like kids. Yeah, but it's just like, they just like, they need your attention and, like, you can't sit down for two minutes, and then they cry, and now it's their fucking nap time.

00:51:22:08 – 00:51:46:06
And. Yeah. And I'm like, God, we can't speak too loudly because one of them is asleep upstairs. So I just get, get them all in a room and gone on the dummy fucking to leave them. So, yeah, I know it's bad in it, like other people have babies and then like it dominates even your life. Yeah, well, so we can't come around your house because the baby's asleep.

00:51:46:08 – 00:52:09:04
Yeah. No, I'm just. I'm just not coming. Then I'm not coming. Your choice. Have a baby. I'm not coming. Fair. What would you say? Yes, I say that that that poor, I thought I saw this thing on TikTok where you have to wear noise canceling headphones and you have to guess the word they're saying. I think that could be a laugh.

00:52:09:06 – 00:52:28:10
I've seen that. What? You bought. You bought that for Christmas? Yeah. Yeah. Just that. I just thought it could be a it could be fun, but a kid's like, when, honestly, you'll get this and and cherish every moment your kids want to spend with you, I promise you. I know that can be irritating at times. They get to 15 and 17 and they just it's like you don't exist.

00:52:28:12 – 00:52:51:00
It's literally they're just gone. Not not physically gone. They're very much they're eating all the food and, and, you know, are straight on the phone asking for shit constantly. So they're, they're. Yeah, in that respect. But they're not there as a right. They are doing that mentally preparing even if they don't know it to, to leave. Right.

00:52:51:00 – 00:53:23:01
So it's important that they have their own independence. But then you think about the Christmases and stuff you had where they were just excited and buzzing and just excited to be around you. Yeah, I miss that, in fact, Christmas. So hold onto it. If they're not gone already, it's going to be a part of it. Yeah, yeah. I saw this, TikTok the other day of some lady recording her children coming down the stairs, like in 2015, 2006.

00:53:23:02 – 00:53:47:03
And, you know, the the kind of delight and surprise of Santa's had been and running down and jumping around the presents and all that that I think and I think I, I, I mean, we have to we have to pull the kids out of their beds at 1:00 on Christmas Day. One of the, I'm exaggerating, but it's like, if we didn't, they would probably.

00:53:47:05 – 00:54:13:18
It's dark. Yeah. I mean, it might not happen with yours, but yeah, that kind of magic. Because this gun is different. It shifts. There's a contentment about it. But it's not magic anymore. No. So when the kids are young, it's it's an amazing thing, I think. Yeah. Anyway, I am. Yeah, I know, we have got, we've got an actual dilemma.

00:54:13:21 – 00:54:37:07
So, so we've got the dilemma. We've got so the dilemma is called what's love got to do with it? Something I know, you know, it's called I'm Not Proud, but I'm a survivor. The topic for next week, obviously you're going to be New Year's resolution. New year, new me. I'm going to listen back to our 2024 episode on New Year's Resolution.

00:54:37:09 – 00:55:05:24
See how I got on, say, how we both got on. So we want to hear your New Year resolutions for 2026. How are you planning on tackling them? Why are you doing it? Are you going to New Year's party? Are you past all of that? I most certainly am. So if you've got anything, send it in to lads anon pod at gmail.com and we are going to jump into the dilemma.

00:55:06:01 – 00:55:34:14
So, just tell you got an issue for a tissue. You're a big fat cat, will you? I can in your soul, alone in your flat. Please talk to Vicky Flanagan. Let that stress off your chest. Well, friends, you deserve to play like you're safe here to get nice and warm between. Vicky, your plan. And I've got high, lads.

00:55:34:16 – 00:55:58:14
Got a bit of a dilemma. After listening to your grief episode last week and hearing how Flav reacted to the thought of losing his Mrs., it's brought something to the surface for me that's been sitting there for the last couple of years. I think my wife and I love each other and we've got three beautiful kids that we both absolutely adore, but I'm starting to feel like we're not really compatible.

00:55:58:16 – 00:56:22:13
And I think deep down we both probably know that I'm struggling with this as that. I don't think divorce would ever be an option for her. She'd stay and try to make it work no matter what. So if we ever did separate, it would basically be my decision. And that weight sits pretty heavy. Especially stuck on what it would mean for the kids.

00:56:22:15 – 00:56:43:17
I don't want to break up our family, but I also don't want to ignore something that might only get harder with time. I'm only 31, so I know time is on my side right now, but I also know if I leave this for another ten years when it won't be. And honestly, I just don't really know what the right move is.

00:56:43:19 – 00:57:15:05
Thanks lads. Love the pot. Well the pot, yeah. The right move, in my opinion, is that if you're not happy in a relationship that you should remove yourself from it in a way that is the ex that delivers the least amount of damage. Although it's impossible because there will be lots of damage and lots of fallout and lots of pain and lots of questions.

00:57:15:07 – 00:57:43:04
And those questions don't go away. But my mum left my dad when she was when I was five, and I'm kind of now a, you know, it's it was a long time ago, four years ago. Right. But I, you never stop thinking about what it would have been like if they hadn't and what it would have been like to grow up with the with my mum around all the time and in and with my dad.

00:57:43:06 – 00:57:59:08
But I can absolutely, categorically knowing my mom and my dad as well as I do, that they are not compatible in any way and my mum absolutely did the right thing. Yeah.

00:57:59:10 – 00:58:28:19
I would share that exact same thing my parents about when I was five as well. Listening to my mum's side of the story, I think she was right. She wasn't happy. And I'm always of that mind that you kind of. You only live once, right? You only get one chance at this. You only get one life. And if you spend your life being unhappy, for a reason, because of someone else or something else, that's, I don't know, you.

00:58:28:20 – 00:58:48:09
You do need to have a think about that. Because if you're going to be in ten years time still with this, you're still with your wife for the because you want to keep the family unit together and the kids and all, all of that stuff. It's like, essentially you're missing out on ten years of your life with someone else.

00:58:48:09 – 00:59:12:21
That could have been much more fulfilling and more shared experiences and love and stuff like that. So I'm always like, I am kind of like, you get one chance at this. What? Like, why be unhappy? But I also understand that you have a young family. You don't want to break that up. And there is that point of, you know, not being in their lives as much or you getting the blame for it.

00:59:12:21 – 00:59:39:16
And so I understand it's a really hard decision to make. But the wrong decision. And I'm not saying this is the wrong you might be that you feel like this now and then, you do some work together, or you go to counseling or whatever, and then you realize, actually, no, this is something you wanted. But I, I think that, kids growing up in a relationship that's unhappy, that isn't.

00:59:39:16 – 00:59:51:16
Yeah. Nourished is a difficult one as well, because it sounds like you get on fine. It's just that the falling out of love with each other and the passion isn't there, but.

00:59:51:18 – 01:00:20:01
If you're right that she. You feel like she feels the same despite the fact that she would fight for it, perhaps because of her upbringing or. Or maybe she's just more inclined that way. But she if you if you're right, then it probably would be more amicable on an amicable split up. Like what I would say about what when I was growing up, my mum and my dad, despite my dad not wanting them to break up, wanted to stay with my mum.

01:00:20:03 – 01:01:00:04
Yeah, they always maintained an amicable relationship and were always they never, ever fought with me around. I never saw them ever have a crossword. And I'm sure there were many crosswords, right. But I never witnessed it and I was oblivious to it. And so I didn't have to grow up with that anxious anxiety of knowing that they, they were unhappy with each other, even if they, they were, and it was only as I got older and was able to intellectualize the situation, I realized that, of course, my dad was hurt and still probably has hurt to this day that she left him.

01:01:00:04 – 01:01:22:21
Yeah, even if they've moved on. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But, but you can't stay in a relationship if it's just coming from one side. Both partners need to be invested in it, and it doesn't matter how hurt my dad is, it would never have been right for my mum to stay. And she did the right thing. That's why I.

01:01:23:00 – 01:01:46:08
Yeah. So you have to do the right thing as well for you, but also understand the amount of work it's going to take to ensure that your kids, are not impacted too badly by it. Yeah, good sound advice, but as two kids from divorced parents. Right. I think generally, you know, you do get to a stage where you just understand things.

01:01:46:10 – 01:02:15:15
Obviously, having this conversation, the exact same conversation the other day with my mum, my sister, my missus, and kind of like being from a divorced family and the family dynamic changing. And then, you know what? My family dynamic is and my relationship with my children and my misses and stuff. It's not like it's affected me. That I, I don't know, it's led me down a, you know, a path of destruction or anything like that.

01:02:15:15 – 01:02:36:00
I'm still, you know, very secure in my relationship. And, you know, there's a lot of love with my children and stuff. So it's not to say that if you do split the family up, that I don't know if things will change is the wrong word. Split in the family is split. It's split. The split in the family up is like it's a pejorative, isn't it?

01:02:36:00 – 01:02:55:19
It's like it's loaded. Yeah. Yes, it's. Yes. You're you're separating for your own mental health, for your own, for the for the betterment really, of everybody. If you're not ultimately happy, I would say to try and do some work and talk. Definitely talk to her about it. There's a lot of assumptions by the sounds of it, isn't it?

01:02:55:21 – 01:03:21:06
Let's see. You know how she feels taught to just say, I'm not. I love you, but I'm not feeling. I don't know what the right advice. Maybe get some advice from a counselor or marriage counselor before doing anything drastic. I don't know. So number one, first of all, get bro. See it bros. Yeah, not exactly to speak to, three marriage counseling.

01:03:21:07 – 01:03:39:18
You don't have to. And marriage counseling doesn't have to be two people. You can just on your own seek one out, and they'll give you advice and then maybe bring her in afterwards. Yeah, but key is the key here is number one. Really? Yeah yeah yeah. Get get get a bro. Get a good one. Really good. It's pretty good as possible as fast.

01:03:39:18 – 01:04:10:15
Yeah yeah. Right. Look at it. Go to something better. You know. Wow. Something ugly. You know? I'm not proud, but I'm a survivor. Years ago, my now wife and I were in the. Made it a pointless argument in human. In human history. I don't even remember what it was about. I had the emotional way of deciding where to order a pizza from.

01:04:10:17 – 01:04:33:02
She storms upstairs, runs a bath because apparently she's a Victorian woman who needs to retreat to the waters after a minor inconvenience. So now I'm downstairs alone, doing that thing where you reply the argument in your head like, yeah, that's what I should have gone for. I should have gone for the fro. That would have ruined, I'm so smart.

01:04:33:07 – 01:05:06:06
20 minutes later and that's when my stomach was like, oh, cool, you're relaxed. Let's end this man's whole world. No warning, no buildup, just Defcon one in my lower intestine. So I think. All right, I'll just go upstairs and use the toilet. Then I remember my wife is up there naked in a bath, fuming at me. There is no scenario where I kick that door open and go, sorry, babe.

01:05:06:06 – 01:05:40:14
The demon inside me is scheduled right now. That's how people disappear. So I look around the kitchen and we lock eyes and me and my two and I lock eyes with a Tesco carrier. But now listen, I'm not proud, but I'm a survivor. I squat down in my own kitchen like an emotionally broken pigeon. And commit a crime that Scotland Yard will never know about afterwards until CSI mode sprays, wipes, more sprays, candlelit window cracked open like I'm going to.

01:05:40:18 – 01:06:10:10
I'm trying to exercise a Victorian child. 15 minutes later, she walks downstairs, stopped dead in her tracks and goes, what is that smell? And without hesitation, with the confidence of a man who's just ruined retail plastic forever, I say the dog keeps farting. Probably. Probably from those cheap treats you keep buying. She's mad, the dog's confused. And I'm walking round with a secret darker than interstellar space.

01:06:10:12 – 01:06:32:21
And at that moment, that is something only I know. Brilliant. Shitting in a carrier bag in your kitchen is. I mean, see what you've got. A you've got to go. And that is, I mean, I can't touch wood. I very rarely been in a situation where I've absolutely have to go and it's coming out and there's nothing I can do.

01:06:32:22 – 01:06:56:24
I don't think I've ever been in that situation. It's insane. You say that because I literally have that sensation every 3 to 4. It's like it is like I got a point where I'm not like, I'm literally just going to the toilet and my, my, like, the waistline from my boxer shorts have just slid down my bum and I can feel the poo coming out already.

01:06:57:05 – 01:07:19:06
It's like I'm not even sitting down and it's like already just running to that toilet wall. But what is it from the point where you feel like you need to go to the point where it comes out your ass? How soon? Sometimes if they wait around because I think I'll deal with that later. And then it's not. I say like in the biggest emergency is how quick is that fed into needing to pay?

01:07:19:08 – 01:07:39:13
An emergency? Is it like there have been times when pavement. I'm just going to have to do it now so they. No, no. But, Ricky, listen to what I'm saying. Right. Imagine you're sitting here and you feel the the feeling in the pit of your stomach from that first feeling. But for me, it might be like 45 minutes.

01:07:39:13 – 01:07:58:11
An hour, right? But I might not. I need a pump. But yeah, I don't need, need one. Yeah, but you it like I'll feel like I feel like a need one. And then how, how much time do you have. Probably like 5 to 7 minutes. Right. So you need to get up. So if you're out you're in trouble.

01:07:58:14 – 01:08:19:23
Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah for sure. You get a special key for people like you. Yeah. I mean right. Okay. Yeah. I need to get one of these. You have to go to the doctor. You can't just pick one up. No. And, and also you can get a pass. We can go to a pub, any pub or any place, and I don't need to use your toilet because of the, you know that.

01:08:20:02 – 01:08:36:24
Now, that would be amazing because there have been loads of times you try and go in there and you're like, I just need to get a Coke just to use your toilet. Sometimes you just run, just do it because you got a day. What? A man's got a day, right? That's that's been the end of the Christmas episode.

01:08:37:01 – 01:08:59:16
There you go. I hope you've enjoyed it. We hope you have a very Merry Christmas. And whatever you plan on doing when we celebrate it or not, we hope you have a lovely day. And, next week we're going to be talking about New Year's resolutions. Send yours in lads. Anon pod at gmail.com. And until then we will see you whenever.

01:08:59:17 – 01:09:00:15
Merry Christmas everyone.