#7 | If I could travel back in time for just this one moment

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Are the Night. Hazy like Band of Brothers playing tones high is quite midnight. Waves surfing through till daylight breaks rhythm. Here's different ways. Love of music are. We prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band aside, we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers. Hello and welcome to Louds Anonymous, a podcast where two best mates of over 20 years invite you to join their safe space, where we talk about all manner of subjects.

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We'll focus on a specific matter first and then answer your questions. Dilemmas a need for advice. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast. Or has it as a guy mate. Cats died. This is so. I thought I'd to start. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You started last week that you're, unmotivated. And now, this guy tried to die and can't find a cat.

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Cat ran out this morning. Supposed to take cats. A vet went home, couldn't find cat. Had to rebook. Another appointment for this afternoon to find Cat. Take cat. The vet and I. The vet did say it might not actually be, might not actually be the big demise. It might there might be something they can do or they're just trying to make money.

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I don't know, how old is the cat? 14. That's quite old, isn't it? I don't know, I think like anywhere between 14 and sort of 18 with cats. Oh, and you never own one. Yeah. I've had, I've had, so I had a ginger cat that I can't remember. What, what do we call it? I can't remember what the fuck we called it.

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That was a stray cat that we just nicked of someone, you know, when they come to your back, but they move it. Yeah. And then. And it was just like, this is our cat now. So we had that one. Then my sister and I had a cat each. Hers was called Claude. Mine was called Be This. That was during the mad Beavis and Butthead.

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Oh, no. We got it. If I. You know, if I had a time machine, I wouldn't go back and watch Beavis and Butt.

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I definitely wouldn't. And then I bought my children a cat called Arthur, and they were pining for this cat. I remember this, and then it turned out that they were absolutely petrified of cats. And it was a young male. It wasn't a it wasn't a kitten, little bit kind of an adolescent, but it kept just kept chipping around the house really quickly, then climb the curtains and jump off.

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And they would spend the evenings. As soon as they got home from school, they'd get into the climb into their, bunk beds. I'd just hide from the cats to hide from us. I what they would hide from you? Well, what they would hide from the cat. We were downstairs just milling about. What happened between really wanting the cat and then being petrified?

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Would the cat do it? Scratch? Well, I don't know. So my my oldest daughter, she had a massive phobia of dogs. A dog jumped up and clawed it on her leg. Now, at the time it was very innocuous. No blood drawn. She didn't say anything about it, but I think that's where it came from. And then my youngest had kind of mirrored the behavior of the eldest when she saw dogs.

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Yeah, jump into my arms. So I literally be standing there and they'd be climbing up me when I'm walking along the path. It was fucking awful, man. For a few years. It was awful. I thought they just felt cats were different and it was a cute little kitten and it wouldn't do no harm. But off I hated fucking.

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When I was walk, I'd walk from one room to the other and it'd be hiding behind the sofa, and he quickly claw me across the ankles. I make, oh fuck! Oh fuck you! What are you doing, mate? That's what I do, you know I yeah. No. Yeah. Not that that's not well you know so there was petrified the dogs and they when you, when you came to our house and they wouldn't leave the car because Frank was running around.

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Does it. Quite scary. They really I think a lot of the time they spent the roof and spent their time on the roof of my car, but as time passed, they. Yeah, they they love Frank. Now they give him little strokes. The probably. Yeah. But I think the next time we see you there might still be like a little later.

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At the beginning they will, but they after a while. Frank, you know, it's corny. I remember I did the little one just, a little strokes on the back. I wasn't sure if I should use the name there. A government name. Government name. So the little one did, Frank. Little strokes and the little kid. Nice. Would you know what?

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I think they will. I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised. Good. I went I went for a little pokey then. Yeah, so and so I sold it to someone. Texture. I was just really angry. And it's gone up. The price has gone up. So what are you paying for? Three poached eggs and a slice of wholemeal and a slice of white granary.

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A22 slice of granary and a cup of tea. £11. Fucking hell, man, you are not. I'm not. I don't get it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it, Rick. I'm not doing it. Wasn't like, you know, that month for I was in episode two. I realized it's been over £200 in a month on poached eggs. Yeah, I'm not doing that.

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It was just this morning. I was like, I was I was hungry and I hadn't eaten. And I'm like, I know where I can get some poached eggs.

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I know a good place, I get a and so that's the first time I have been back there in about ten days. So have relapsed between when we last recorded the pod and gone down for three poached eggs, a runaway.

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But, the thing is, is I think I'm done with it now. I think that was my last ever three poached eggs on granary. We will say we're done now, but I think this is. I'm fucked. But, you know, it's not that I don't want the poached eggs. I think the eggs every day, Rick, is. It's the fact that they started cooking them before I even got in the cafe.

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They. They just saw you walk past Sarah. So? So. But they were both running currently had to cook because it wasn't. I'm. I mean, they're quite early, right? I mean they're like maybe 8:10 in the morning. Okay. So there's not many other people around in a busy place Devizes. So the cook and the woman who serves were both chatting.

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I walked in, the cook just turned around and walked straight into the kitchen. She knew.

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And then the other woman started laughing at me and I'm like, I might have something different. She went, you were never anything different. I was like, I know you from my post. That's.

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My probably sexy bitch. Do you think there was a little. It was Pouce pouches here? Yeah. That's what that's what that little whisper is. But I don't want to be known as pouty. I don't want to. I don't want to have a nickname for when I'm going. It's. Oh, that's. That's why I know I might go back there again because it wasn't scrambled egg.

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Try scrambled egg. No, it's just not the elite. The poached egg is the elite version of an egg. It's the best version you can have, so. Oh, I don't know if I'm paying 11 pound. I want the best version. What? What do you want? What I like, I do enjoy poached eggs. Let's have enough scrambled eggs. Let's let's do a little tier system.

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Going from fried eggs. Like you cannot be. Yeah. You can't be a, like, slice of white and, you know, the the the bad why where it's got all the additives and stuff like that. You could leave it out for two weeks and there'll be white bread. Yeah, well you have that bread, white bread having white bread. Thick butter.

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Yeah. You're not just good. Good sliver of, tummy sauce and a fried egg. So in a sandwich. Yeah. So. And cracked black pepper on top lid goes on. Cut in triangles. We'll just one from corner to corner. Yeah. And fucking wallop it down. There'll be two fried eggs in there, by the way. Two. Five eggs in a sandwich for you.

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Fried eggs in a sandwich. I don't feel like there's not enough resistance in the sandwich. It feels like it's missing a sausage. It it does go a bit, steamed and a bit floppy, but then that just gives you more ammo just to shove it in your mouth, knuckle it into your mouth. Yeah. And you go, oh, yeah.

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Dripping down your arm. It's just. Oh, God. Yeah, I have yeah. Fried eggs. Well, you're saying poached. I would say overpriced. Yeah. If I was rank in making a tier system of eggs, I'd go poached. Number one got here. I go up scrambled eggs probably number two. Although it's close behind. I might put scrambled eggs and fried eggs on the same level.

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Boiled eggs can get in the fucking bin, man. Ooh. Apart from your Mrs. is eating a boiled egg every single day.

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But for me, I like it. Honestly, if you're making bought, if you you can do anything when I egg and you choose to boil it hard, boil it and then eat that whole. You're a freak. I don't like it. I don't like people that do it. I don't like that in front of me. You know, someone I used to work with?

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I won't say his name. You might listen to this. He would bring in a couple of a hard boiled eggs into work from home. What? Just not. And it'll containing just as he's working culture. Quarter 11. Yeah. You'll hear it was snack little pot. It crashes a crack with the Tupperware. You did? Yeah. Crack. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, he's going to the, you know, Easter day.

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Hard boiled eggs. Get the shell off it. Roll the egg on the desk. He would roll it on the there. He still got the shallow. Let's not be showed. I know, you filthy pig. Little pig. Yeah. And and is it next to me and again. You doing that again? Oh, yeah. Because we were, we were at a stage of our relationship where you can take each other out so you can actually, you dirty pig, you're going to crack that.

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And he was like, yeah. And he didn't he just pop the fucking thing in his mouth like nothing happened. Mate, that is. Yeah, that's a bit grim. That what, like you're in. Also, if you're choosing to eat, it's a fucking hard boiled egg. I can't believe he did this. Hey, man, that's just no, I didn't. That's not on, man.

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That is not on. Like, if you've got, you got a boiled egg, Rick. And it's you ain't runny right. But hard boiled eggs and hard yolk. Hard yolks. Never the answer. Never. Nah nah nah. But I swear I'm going on this voting system. For what? Eggs are the best. I think we should have a little look back at last week's pod com, and we've, the laziness episode.

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If you haven't listened, go back and listen to it. It's a great episode, but as part of my laziness, I admitted that I often, I say often nearly all the time, drink from our upstairs, tap from the cold water, tap in the bathroom and cause a bit commotion in the en suite. Yeah, love it. Like I've even got it now.

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Oh yeah. That's lovely. The V suite is so sweet of you. It's, It's like an angel dancing on my tongue. It's fucking magic. Ricky, if you check that, it does come from the mains. I'm not checking. I'm going to continue doing it because I don't want to know. But we did a couple of pals on social.

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Would you like to know the results? Yeah, I'd love to. It. I mean, if it can't be anything other than don't drink from the upstairs tap, right. Okay, so on our Insta on the great yet little voting system. Yeah. And there was probably about, I think maybe 50 votes in there. So not a great sample. 49% said yes, 29 said no.

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There was another load of votes as well, which said sometimes when I'm hung over. So okay. So the majority is. Yes. With that one. Well yes it is. Yes. Drink for me upstairs tap. Yes. Yeah. Can you when you go to. If it was tell me one place in Europe you've been Spain. Spain. You go to Spain.

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Are you drinking tap water willy nilly? No, no. That's Spain. No, this is this is England. May.

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Is piped from fucking Scotland. From the Highlands, straight into my mouth. It might not be mains water. They might not be pumped for it. It might be the tank in the loft. Right. It's the story, right? It's a story. Yeah. Yes, 44%. No, 39%. Okay. And again, again the sample was quite small. Now we go to the big dog Twitter 746 votes.

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And this was a straight. This is a straight yes or no 52%.

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Said yes. Right. So when people drop in dead brain blaming the vaccine and all that shit, oh you can get the vaccine. And people are saying don't have the vaccine. Drinking from the upstairs tap right where there is, there is a community of upstairs tap drinkers and the great people. They are great. They know the sweetness and rich.

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You know, when you have like you hear of, you hear about Bobby. I had an aneurysm. Yeah. You dropped down dead. No one knows why these people were drinking the upstairs tap. But whenever you hear of an instant death, I wouldn't be surprised if there's an upstairs upstairs tap drinker. You know, when you see in the local papers.

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The is Deirdre, who's lived, 103 bow down downstairs. She was drinking from the upstairs tap. She wasn't all day long, man. Oh, you know, I'm just realized I don't have an upstairs tap in my house.

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You never know. There is a man up there that's just three bedrooms up there, mate. Maybe that's why they get one. You should get one. Get one and drink from it and be happy, man. Just just let it go. And while we're on the conversation of water, I did say water. Water everywhere. So I have a drink, but I know where it came from and it was from you said, this is what I got.

00:15:01:05 – 00:15:29:01
Well, I've said that phrase water everywhere. Let's all have a drink. I would say about 28 times this week. I've never heard it before. You, you. It was a throwaway comment of a week from you. I keep saying it. Water, water everywhere. Let's all have a drink. Yeah, exactly. It's good, it's good, it's good. Someone's emailed in. The Simpsons reference is to this epic poem by Samuel Taylor.

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Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Yeah. And I think it's called The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner. To be honest, I would have expected more of love to have known this, bearing in mind he studied A-level English and claims to have a ton of books. How the fuck do you know that, you freak? Do better flap. No. How does he know I did A-level English?

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I don't know what it is. When? When that came in, I did. Yeah, but you know, I. You know what, Mark, I got unclassified. I didn't go I didn't go to the lectures. I managed to get to university. But do you know what I know this happens. We're going to come on to the main theme of the episode.

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Yeah. And I'll give you a clue to what it is I think people know, right? Yeah. If I could go back and take my A-levels and GCSE seriously, I probably would. Okay. We can get right. Well that's good, that's good. But who's this dickhead? Right. Sorry. Samuel Taylor Coleridge, right? Yeah. I'm. I suppose if I hadn't studied that, at a high level, I would.

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I know I didn't do that.

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Well, I well, I need a pipe, so. No, you didn't and I didn't. Yeah, I was so. Homer Simpson, Homer Simpson. So Gordon. And tell you about it. Anyway, also, we've got some ladies in examples from last week. I say it's war or war everywhere and not a drop to drink.

00:16:57:09 – 00:17:20:18
But there's Homer Simpson. Save war water everywhere. Let's all have. Let's have a drink while he's out to sea. I love him, I love him. Adding sea will realize I'll drink it. He's amazing. Do you know there is like is top that I remember this survey of like public figures that would make the best dad and Homer Simpson came in as number one would make the best dad.

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Yeah, yeah. In terms of in real terms, if your dad was like Homer Simpson, it generally be a good upbringing. He used to strangle Bart by the neck. Yeah. Sorry. Little capital punishment. And it. Don't say that anybody. I've had. No. We are. We should do an episode on parenting. Yeah. All right. But I've never, ever, once ever felt the urge to do anything like that.

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And my dad never hit me. Ever. Not once. No, I know my mom spank me or anything like that. I caught a fucking celebrity, son. Did you? Yeah. You know, like, the more he listened, your you you feel, you know, the things you got up to as young. So you, you come across a little bit of an.

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I bet you're a bit of an ass. Bit of an ass as a kid. No. Yeah, well, the thing is, I like being honest. My parents, back when I was 5 or 6, I was raised by my mum and my sister, and I lived on a street that was a mixture of, like, council houses and shared ownerships, and it was mainly single mums.

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Single mums really. Yeah. So a lot of the single mums would go out to work during the day and there would be one mum that would be the household and all the kids would just drive around in packs during the summer and during holidays, getting up to no good, and then we'd go back to that person's house. It would decrease, have a fruit drink, then back out again, setting fires and shit.

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That's not exactly why we did what. Why do you get a slipper? I can't remember why I did get a slipper. I can, but I'll bring up in that episode. But you know, you know, Moccasin Slipper. Yeah, they're quite, they're very flexible. But that rubber soul. Yeah. The bottom fucking that slaps flat surface. It's a stinger.

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Yeah. They go and I just that when I do that, when we do the parenting episode, my, my dad used to get whacked with sticks by my nan.

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I don't know, I love it's real funny. Well, funny, I might, I might, I might record a conversation with him about it and send it in for the pod. That would be the social media. He's told me loads of times.

00:19:45:05 – 00:20:08:17
About it. But yeah, you would eat, but basically live next to. I should throw it. I'll save it, I'll save it. But I might save it. Save it. I've got a couple of, laziness things that have been sent in. So there was, there was a dishwasher one. Instead of emptying the dishwasher, I put more dirty items in and put it on and let the missus empty it.

00:20:08:19 – 00:20:30:17
That's that's so much water wastage. And you know how much I love water, right? But there are times where I'm emptying the dishwasher and I pick out, and I see a frying pan, and the fucking dishwasher hasn't done its job. And I'm right. You fucking get back in there, you fuck! Yeah, I touch you that you have a dishwasher nightmare.

00:20:30:19 – 00:20:50:03
Oh, God. They, Honestly, it's like I'm living in the third world, and it it is. No up water tap, no dishwasher. Fucking hell. Yeah. I couldn't live without a dishwasher. I don't want to do I want to. I mean, in the process of applying for a mortgage at the moment. So, when you've got a new house, it has to have a dishwasher.

00:20:50:05 – 00:21:20:06
Yeah. You're walking around. Lovely garden, double glazed windows. Garage. Yeah. You've got a place to do like your podcast, you know that. Like, have you got an upstairs tap mate. You have. No. That's it. But set fire to it back into the car. The cost. Have it. Fucking shit ass. Is this what it's called? Snot bags back in my 20s was off work with a heavy cold, along with the general, slovenly us and moping around the house in my pants.

00:21:20:06 – 00:21:46:08
I decided rather than blow my nose or cough or the phlegm up into a hankie, I collect every discharge the thick green go into into a pot, into a pint glass. Inevitably, the glass was left on the lounge floor and was kicked over when it was almost full and poured onto the lounge carpet. The stain was immovable and was still there when I moved out ten years later.

00:21:46:10 – 00:22:20:04
That is. That is the height of laziness if you're doing that. And disgusting. This is the last one. The last one. I quite like this one, quite like it, but a little bit a tiny man, I dunno, but I do like it though. On his feet. So this gentleman, he went out. He did the shop for the next two days to do the dinners, got home cooked the dinner, was prepping for tomorrow's dinner, realized he'd forgotten the pasta.

00:22:20:06 – 00:22:46:05
Oh, you did someone Amazon Prime didn't have to go back up the ass. That is bad. Product it. I told you something. I'll do that. It's too easy to prime things I'll get prime for. Well, I'll. I'll. I'll often order things. I'm like. It's ridiculous that someone has to put this in a van and then find that to be driven all over the fucking world year just to come to somebody, like, just to deliver a fucking scouring bash or something like that.

00:22:46:07 – 00:23:09:16
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know happened to me last night. All right. I'm so good. The dinners, early. Works most night. Well, some nights anyway. And I'm making flatbreads. Right. Hummus. Halloumi chicken. So you get what I think. Make the bread now because I fire. Okay, okay. I might do one day, but that makes bread a lot. Anyway,

00:23:09:18 – 00:23:28:12
And I'm like, this is wicked because I'm going to do a little veggie version for me and it's really tasty. I got to, I got home, I cleaned the kitchen right, and and I started to cook because Chloe condensed it. I was just really hungry. And. It's all right. Don't worry. Peppa got you a look through him for us.

00:23:28:12 – 00:23:49:07
Yeah, I've left the food in the car or goes to the cart, so just a little bit sideways, but a little one. What did you know? That's what she got at? Ooh. That's what I did it sideways. But it's. It might be some, like, right here. So far, I can't, but the milk is disgusting. That was more disgusting.

00:23:49:07 – 00:24:09:07
As much as you can sort your face to the right so you can allow a little burp pig. No one. No one could see this side of you. And now you're crossing on me. All right, so last night, I, was I've left the food in the car, and I've looked in the car and there's just a bag full of rubbish, and I'm like, what the fuck?

00:24:09:09 – 00:24:14:08
I've put the food in the bin and put the rubbish in my car.

00:24:14:10 – 00:24:31:06
So I had to drive all the way back to work. Was like 25 minute, 20 minute drive, put the rubbish in a bin and get the food out the bin. It's all right though. It wasn't like it was like a paper bin. Pretty much. Okay. Mate. Yeah, I said that. Yeah. You to drive back into work to do that as well.

00:24:31:11 – 00:24:50:24
There's shit that's a nightmare. That's a nightmare. Shall we, jump into today's topic? What is it? Okay. Go on. Flavia, go. Time travel. When you said it to me, I was. I asked fucking shit topic. I'll do time travel. What? We can talk about the concept of time and travel. Whether it's. And I'm like at that.

00:24:51:00 – 00:25:10:01
And then I saw your questions and I was like, oh that's okay. Yeah. So I don't worry, man, I got you I got yeah, okay. I came up with a few, a few good ideas for future episodes yesterday, didn't I? Yeah, you did as well. And, all that should be breathing quickly. Yeah. Go on. Well, actually, while you're looking, I can see you're looking.

00:25:10:01 – 00:25:36:04
I'm just going to quickly go to Oxford Dictionary. Time travel, the imagined or hypothetical activity of traveling into the past or future. Now, when I wrote these questions, I hadn't done the the English dictionary bit yet. And now I always assume time travel is going back into time, not forward. Yeah, so I had to put some forward ones in there as well.

00:25:36:06 – 00:25:55:05
So I just yeah, time travel. I always just assume we're just going back in time. Well we can't go back in time. So it's not real is it really. That's only magic. I first question, do you believe in time travel? Do you do you believe in time travel? All I want to say is right I know, yeah, I know you watch a lot of TikTok.

00:25:55:08 – 00:26:18:22
Yeah, I think there were a lot of conspiracy theories. Are you telling me you've not seen those videos where? I don't know, it was in the 1960s, but in the crowd you can see Tom cruise. I know, I know was holding a mobile phone. Yeah, yeah. And an iPhone. Let's just there's one of those. There's trickery all over the game.

00:26:18:22 – 00:26:34:12
Yeah, there's one of those. There's one of those at a mike Tyson fight and someone holding up a what looks like an apple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't believe it, Ricky, because I'm fucking intelligent. Well, you don't have to even be intelligent human being. It's just a doctored image or something that sort of looks like it costs.

00:26:34:14 – 00:26:47:01
You don't believe in time travel? No one does. Because we're not fucking morons. I it's not that I don't believe, but I think it could be possible. I love TikTok.

00:26:47:03 – 00:27:05:17
UK la love love la la. Good. I don't know what takes a bit. Now make yourselves so. Everyone's getting me something. I want to kill myself. All for about a half hour. I want to kill myself, but, up. But 28 minutes. Good. But he gets the point that I've got to get off. This is ridiculous. I've moved.

00:27:05:19 – 00:27:26:15
Slob. Yeah. And you know what's dangerous about it? And stuff like it can make you believe that time travel is real or whatever because of all the shit that's on there. Well, exactly. There is a lot of stuff. And the thing is, if you watch that time travel clip, you're going to get serve more shit more. Someone's going to come round your house, fucking hell.

00:27:26:17 – 00:27:50:23
But oh yeah, with a wheelbarrow full of time travel shit. I go, I'm like, oh, sometimes in it. I'll sometimes linger on a subject, but I it's like a morbid curiosity and I'm like, I wish I could tell the algorithm. I don't want to see more of that. That was just a one off thing, mate. The amount of times that I'm scrolling, scrolling, scrolling and know, like, oh, I can see mountains from high up.

00:27:50:23 – 00:28:11:13
Oh, like, oh, they're on a plane. And then it happens to the engine and I'm not. No no no no no. I bet it's like oh gosh flick flick quick. Yeah. The the guys are in a plane crashes. Give it bro not what I want I see it, stop it, stop it. So J I every time I see a plane like nope.

00:28:11:15 – 00:28:32:20
Now let's do let's do next week. Let's do let's do air travel next week. Because all right I can taste it twice now. But you're right okay. If I see any kind of wings wobbling get off that. Get straight. I just get off. Swipe straight away, you know? You know. Oh, no. Can't see. I want to tell you something about air travel now, but I gotta save it.

00:28:32:22 – 00:28:49:18
But let's just say quickly it was. This is nothing. I don't need to repeat this. Okay? But do you remember the film alive, where they will crash the rugby team that crashes and they eat each other? That's bad enough. That's the last thing you want to see is someone who's afraid of trying to. Oh, watch yesterday a remake of it twice.

00:28:49:18 – 00:28:54:23
Just watch to.

00:28:55:00 – 00:29:11:14
Well, I'll his saving up. Can we watch American Gangster? No, I want to watch this about fucking plane crash. Are they only each other in the. I get trapped in the Andes, and it's so remote that no one will ever find them. The only way they can survive is each other's asses. Good. Yeah, let's watch that I want.

00:29:11:14 – 00:29:43:22
Oh, he just walked out of hell. I can't watch how it's like. It's like give and take, and it's. You didn't want to watch American Gangster. She wanted to watch Plain History anyway. Yeah. More on that next week. It's true. I mean, I, I, I wouldn't say I believe in time travel, but there are things going on in the world that could possibly lead to it or some or something that there is just like in, you know, I can't even remember what the fuck it's called now.

00:29:43:22 – 00:30:05:13
Is it, was it the the Hadron Collider or page on Collider? Whatever. You know, but the smashing particles. Yeah. What they want to create. I will put you in this, but I want to connect atoms. No, they wanted to smash an atom. It gives some of that. Yeah, exactly. And then see what's inside that atom. And they did.

00:30:05:19 – 00:30:32:02
They found a bit more things in there. How much I got. But, it's fucking billions. But we know enough risk that. Do we need to everywhere. Do we need to die? I don't know, I feel like I've done enough now. Right with the right. We're fine. Everything's fine. Most phones we've got, we've got. Yeah. Because you're lucky enough to be born in, like, the Western world.

00:30:32:04 – 00:30:51:22
You know, if you're lucky enough to be born in England, you get to generally be all right. Yeah, like we've done enough. Now, let's not fuck about the if instead of trying to figure out if we can do time travel or if it's possible, let's put all that energy in just building wells in Africa. Like, we don't need to know whether we can do time travel.

00:30:51:24 – 00:31:13:16
We don't need to put another man on the moon, do we? Everyone? Let's just make more wells. Let's do the wealthy. Did you say another man on the moon? If you believe they had that man on the moon and on the moon, I believe it. Now. What is it? Well, that's a conspiracy theory episode, I call it. This is great.

00:31:13:16 – 00:31:34:24
I love the effort. But this isn't supposed to be about what's supposed to be all right. So they're not fucking just reeling of things we could be talking about, but there's just too much to talk about. Right down. All right, well, down. Right. Okay. So you don't believe in it? I kind of I don't believe in it, but I believe the possibility is that one day something, somewhere might happen.

00:31:34:24 – 00:32:01:12
I'll tell you why. It might happen really just quickly. It might happen because at one point in the near past, we weren't able to send information without a wire. I know this is going to make me sound stupid. Ready yet? And then I go. I still don't know how phones work. And also how does my how does my voice.

00:32:01:14 – 00:32:22:10
So imagine imagine if we get mobile phones. Imagine two telephones connected by wires. Yeah. My you're in Australia and I'm in the UK. Oh you're in, you're in Milkins and I'm in, I'm in Wiltshire. Yeah I'll pick up the phone I talk to you I say hello Ricky and you go, hello Flav. Why does my voice sound like my voice down?

00:32:22:14 – 00:32:48:17
How does my voice has it sounds? Go down the telephone wire to your receiver. Why isn't it just a normal voice? How can it be my voice that you can hear? How does it transport the sound waves? Exactly how I say them to your phone. How does that work? I don't know, I mean, I was going to say because it's just obviously picking up your pitches and that's what your voice sounds like.

00:32:48:17 – 00:33:09:22
So it's so we're not mirroring. If I said you were saying into the mic, if I send you a text message, Rick of the picture of me, it will appear on your phone in seconds. Yeah. How's that fucking happen? I going into the ER, but I think it goes, I think it goes up into a satellite, but I'm going to show up.

00:33:09:24 – 00:33:32:15
Is there something high energy that's moving from my phone to the satellite? And my point is, is if we can do that, maybe we can do time to time travel because there was a point where we said we couldn't do it, could we? We? There you go. The the opportunity, the potential to send information wirelessly always existed. It always existed.

00:33:32:16 – 00:33:54:18
We just never got to a point where we could create it right. In 400 years ago. Human beings then didn't realize that one day we would have the capability to send information wirelessly or send information at all, but we got there for them. But then it was inconceivable that we wouldn't that would we would ever be able to talk to someone on the other side of the planet.

00:33:54:24 – 00:34:24:20
But we got there, so why can't they? Why can't we did it? I don't know. There's there's there's also rumors. Well, I say rumors. Conspiracy that in the is it Antarctic North North pole Antarctic I don't I yeah. But where there is a ice wall, no one has ever been over that ice. Behind the ice floe is, a portal to another dimension to the Earth's core.

00:34:24:21 – 00:34:45:07
Get again, you know. There. Then if you're saying this, I'm not interested. I'm just saying whoever is right, I'm like, hey, what is flat Earth? Is it? Say there's fucking an ice wall. You can't totally ask. Well, all of you go, go and stop talking, talking to me about it. May. I saw it in Game of Thrones. I do not mean that there's no smoke without fire.

00:34:45:08 – 00:35:15:06
Okay, so, give it for the love that Game of Thrones. If you could go back in time. Yeah. To change one event. Yeah. What would it be? And I'm going to caveat this. No, you can't like, the wars are just too big. They've happened to one event. Yeah, just one event. Not a minor event. Because I'd make it so that we could all go back to, like, World War Two and say,

00:35:15:08 – 00:35:39:07
Or say Hitler wish he wasn't born. Shoot, Hitler was too obvious. Yeah, for him in the canal. Whatever you say, Geoff Hurst. Oh, wow. Really? Yeah. Just for the sake of all that 1966 World Cup went into it, I think it's all over. It is now just back.

00:35:39:09 – 00:35:44:18
Yeah. Fuck. Geoff Hurst. I don't mean I,

00:35:44:20 – 00:36:09:13
I don't, I, I don't think, I think maybe if we hadn't won that and the world wars, maybe we'd be more of a humble country. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I was going to say, one of the other questions is to change the sporting event. If you could change one. But I think you already you've gone ten toes under 66.

00:36:09:15 – 00:36:32:17
I would. England's have anything. What would you do. I think I would probably go back in time. Only a short period. And as Steve Irwin is getting on his boat to go out and do a dive of his thing, I say, Steve, don't don't do it today, mate. Just like that's some fucked up shit. Don't do it today, mate.

00:36:32:19 – 00:36:47:07
Did you like Steve Irwin? I fucking love them. I love Steve absolute sums a mark there. Any get your own thing.

00:36:47:09 – 00:37:02:06
No. Even I didn't get your own thing. Yeah. I love you, dad. We don't love you. Yeah, and I think he's all right, but, I hear that. Do hear that? Yeah. It's like.

00:37:02:08 – 00:37:26:00
Michael Jackson's son wanted to grow up and do Michael Jackson. You're like, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Do do something else. Do entertain us in a different way. Anyway, look, this is so out of order. The Irwin hats go down like that. Your mercs buy a stingray? Yeah, all the shit he did. Alligators, crocodiles, jellyfish. Yeah, all of it.

00:37:26:02 – 00:37:47:11
And now a stingray is a. Yeah. No fucking no. That's what I'd like to go back and, change the course of history just for that one. If I was to say to you, do you know what I my time travel back to you? Just why I remember Glenn in the Egypt shark attack last summer. Well. And.

00:37:47:11 – 00:37:56:18
Well, just just be there. Just be on the beach looking. Yeah. Oh, I don't know if I could do that. The the,

00:37:56:20 – 00:38:18:01
I watching the noises. Harrowing. Yes. What was the noise? Yeah, it's it's really fucking. It was, it was, you know, I was our first watch that I was off my tits at a festival. My brother sent it to me. It was about half one in the morning and I was waiting for a pass. I was waiting, I was needed a piss at a festival, so I was.

00:38:18:03 – 00:38:46:23
I needed something to do. So I looked at my phone and obviously watched the whole thing. And it that, you know, if you watched jaws, it was as close to the most archetypal shark attack you could imagine. It's exactly. How bad do you think is is that playing out? Yeah, it's the worst bits when it clearly hits him and it moves him along in the water, makes a bad bit, and then his legs get thrown.

00:38:47:00 – 00:38:58:08
Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're bringing it all back. I don't want it. Yeah. So I use your time machine to go there and be there in person. Yeah.

00:38:58:10 – 00:39:22:11
I fuck it out. What is. Give me a, What's the most, I'm not even gonna say the most embarrassing, but is there a time where you wish you could go back into your past and be like, yeah. Oh, man, I was so embarrassed, and I've done that for me. There is a litany of fucking embarrassing stories I have is loads.

00:39:22:11 – 00:39:44:08
You know, I can sit here and think of, I don't know what, six times I've had to do a poo outside in in those six times. Three times another human is the same. You do it like, how does that even happen? I was, you know, I was in a forest in southern France, in a forest, no one around for miles.

00:39:44:10 – 00:40:11:07
So I had to have a turn out next to this tree. And someone walks past me, like, how does he look at the island? Yeah, I did that to say sorry. Sorry? Yeah, sorry to look at me. Don't look at me. I've never, never had to do an outdoor play ever in my life. Never once. I won't go into all the stories, but, you know, I can think of four Island of the Highland story.

00:40:11:10 – 00:40:24:09
No, I'm not going to day either. I'll save it for another kind of outdoorsy. We're not going to do an outdoor pool episode. Oh, he had. I will actually let me, write down an outdoor pool website. Yeah.

00:40:24:11 – 00:40:54:06
I think one of the one of the most embarrassing times that I've had is when I was maybe I was 16 to 18 somewhere around there, and I was interviewing for my first job, and I think it was at Royal Bank of Scotland, where everyone in Milton Keynes worked, and I wasn't really sure on the interview and what, what, what they're going to ask me, you know, that doesn't know.

00:40:54:06 – 00:41:30:23
It doesn't, it doesn't I, the, the the bait, the free stuff. I'm all right. Shame. Oh. Oh. A during this interview, you know, you you revise. So, Ricky, what's your strengths? What would you say your weaknesses are? What skills do you have to make this job? And they asked me, namely, a time that you've tried to be, friendly with someone within a team or something like that, and it hasn't quite paid off that they've, they've there's still been this disconnect between you.

00:41:31:02 – 00:41:57:18
All right. The only thing that popped into my head was when I was at a nightclub. I tried to chat up a woman and she said no and walked the other way. I mean, that that didn't even happen. But that's what came into my head. Two women that was interviewing me, and I saw her bite down on her lower lip and grin and look at the other one.

00:41:57:18 – 00:42:18:03
And then I could hear pens scratching on paper. And then they carried on with the day and I was like, I want to die. I, I'm on the third floor. I might just jump right now, because you can't bear this anymore. Yeah. So you're because you're in a high pressure environment, you have to say something. So saying something is better than nothing.

00:42:18:09 – 00:42:37:18
So your brain is just creating this story about you being this fake story about you being nightclub gets by a woman. Yeah. Good. That's that is. And that's one of those ones that it's 3:00 in the morning and I'm just staring at the ceiling and I'm like, why am I? I know, I know, Russell Brand. You can't really mention his name anymore.

00:42:37:18 – 00:43:04:13
All right. But I did do a good bit where he was like, the brain, your psyche. You wake up at 3 a.m., Roy Russell or Ricky. Remember when you did this 16 years ago? That was embarrassing, wasn't it? Oh, no. Yeah. May I have that? I have that a lot. I live a lot in my brain. And thinking that I've.

00:43:04:15 – 00:43:25:04
I've done things that are probably more embarrassing than they are. But one thing I would go back to, and it's quite it's quite trivial. There was a girl I fancied. Who? Jane. I used to work with her at Woolworths. I might have told you a story. And I was like. I thought she was really cool and I wasn't sure she liked me.

00:43:25:06 – 00:43:37:20
We were friendly, but it wasn't like I didn't feel like there was much reciprocation, but it didn't mean I wasn't completely and utterly in love with her and wanted to spend my life of it. Right. Just cause she wasn't interested.

00:43:37:22 – 00:43:43:00
So I'm walking along the aisle in Woolworths before I got sacked.

00:43:43:02 – 00:44:07:22
And, we've stock taken. Remember I mentioned between 6 and 9, we stopped take. So there's boxes everywhere, boxes absolutely everywhere. And I'm walking past and I was like, yeah, this is cool. As Jane. Let me just do some small talk or maybe convince her that I am the love of her life. Yeah, I'm the one. I'm the one boss who stacks Kit Kats Crunchie bars.

00:44:07:24 – 00:44:29:18
And I put my foot through the box. I don't know why. I don't know for a minute I can't remember, but my foot was in the box. And as I brought the other one round, it was right next, And it hit the other box and I just flew forward, hit the ground, smashed my face on the ground, had to then pretend I wasn't hurt.

00:44:29:20 – 00:44:55:06
Even I was fucking killing. My face is killing me for, like, a smashed up cheekbone or something. And, she saw a laugh and went back to stacking charts. I think that was. I'd like to go back and not do that. Did he go? You got Jane pick up. How's it going? I know, I think she laughed and I sort of laughed and walked off.

00:44:55:08 – 00:45:19:09
Yeah, that was bad. Yeah, I, yeah, I don't think, I don't think there's there's a lot that I can think back on that I was, I mean, there is, there are embarrassed about. But at the same time it's the course of my life really. And if I was, if a if those things didn't happen, then I wouldn't be where I am now.

00:45:19:11 – 00:45:34:08
Let's pop along to the future. Hell, yeah. How far into the future would you go? You get one chance. One chance to go to the future and come back.

00:45:34:10 – 00:45:56:22
How far into the future would I go? How far would you go? The year 3024? No. Would you just go? You'd have to go. You'd have to go. You'd have to go to a place that would have some context for your for yourself. Like if you go in 3000, you're like a thousand years in the future I don't know.

00:45:56:22 – 00:46:25:09
Yeah, probably do that for just all of it. I'd run out of all of them. I would just want to check every sort of hundred years or so, see what's going on. I had to choose one, though. I'd probably do 100. But if you do a thousand can't. I can't imagine human being still existing in 2000 years. Well, I mean, that's the thing that they may do, and they may be living on their knees on the moon, or they could be everyone could be time traveling.

00:46:25:11 – 00:46:33:19
Everyone could be everywhere. How far would you go? I think I would probably go.

00:46:33:21 – 00:46:57:20
Maybe 100. And yeah, I'd probably say a hundred years. I would want to see my life, my children's children's children and see how my family are and stuff like that, and then check to see if Tottenham had won the league. And I still haven't done that. Fucking great. Yeah. Glad I'm dead, boss.

00:46:57:22 – 00:47:21:13
Like, what? Ricky, if you if you time traveled forward like 50 years and you and you realize the Spurs never win the league, but you just give up because the idea is that one thing you get rewarded. Yeah, but we never win a cup again in 50 years. I always promise to my missis that if Tottenham ever won, the European Cup.

00:47:21:15 – 00:47:42:07
Oh, run and run in front, right in front of a truck or the league. And then I'd just keep my season ticket up because it's, you know, I completed it then. Oh, I was let's end it. That was like life. Well, get any better? Let's. I probably would do that as well. Yeah. But yeah, I don't think I would I didn't think I'd carry on.

00:47:42:12 – 00:47:56:14
I just invested too much time or I've ever gone too far down the rabbit hole and I never been. If you could actually, if you could go into the future.

00:47:56:16 – 00:48:21:13
Would you see how you died? Would you want to know when it was, how it happened? Oh, yeah. No, I'd rather not. I'd rather not know. Like from this point. Like if I, if I can go forward unless I know the exact day I die that not one, one I know. Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't ever know. I like I'm very much as much as I can try and live in the now, you know.

00:48:21:15 – 00:48:49:16
So I know it's like cliched but thinking you know too much into the future makes you anxious, and too much in the past makes you regretful. Both of those things are negative. So, yeah, I don't think I'd want to know. No, I'm just going to assume I'm going to live forever. So you may you may live to over a hundred that that I don't think he will.

00:48:49:16 – 00:49:09:17
But if you could do what. Why why why why why why why why not? I think if I, if somebody, if I was a betting man and done too much, you, we've had to we've had to pay for our sins elsewhere, mate. You, you posted a picture of us 17 years ago. You're like, could you find the worst fuckin picture?

00:49:09:17 – 00:49:29:20
Like, if I had a time machine, I'd go back and not have that picture taken. Any picture I paste, you will cry 7075. That was a particularly bad one. We like any any picture I paste. You'd say I look like I just grow up. It's a picture of yourself. It was a bitch. I was like I was having sex then.

00:49:29:22 – 00:49:49:00
And I'm looking at me like, who the fuck would have sex with that? Yeah, I look like a child. You look so happy to be there. So, like, someone's let me out the daycare. That's how I look, that we do. We look like a pair of fucking herberts. Well, I'm glad. And I'm glad you're angry because there's more of those to come.

00:49:49:02 – 00:50:12:00
And I need you to go with me. What are you say no to everything. I won't, I won't say no. Just this couple images I have in my head of photos taken of us that I hate. I've posted pictures of us, Rick. I've posted pictures on Instagram of both of us and on Twitter. I've got no issue. Just let's have a conversation about it and I'll pick up like I look like it's like the worst photo.

00:50:12:00 – 00:50:30:21
I think of the exists on the internet. And you've just posted it on Twitter. And you know what Rick. Yeah, James all got retweeted it. He's got a massive audience. I, I was fucking crazy because I knew I rang you and then I looked. Oh, James, all I got was a retreat, so it's like, fucking brilliant. I bought a human unit.

00:50:30:22 – 00:50:57:20
I was a bit miffed. Good. But, people have seen that image now, I'll tell you, Rick, should I? 23,000 people. Lovely. Fucking lovely. Good. I'm glad I lost that game as well. I there's a couple of people that I've sent in there. Time travel bits. I'm gonna read one. I'm just gonna read one. And because I felt this one was,

00:50:57:22 – 00:51:25:18
I don't know, man. It's one of those is one of those sliding door moments. So basically, a gentleman who, he joined the Army. Daniel is training, got assigned to his little, group that he was with. Yeah. And unfortunately, he caught pneumonia. And with that, with the pneumonia, he developed, bad asthma. And he had to be medically discharged from the army.

00:51:25:18 – 00:51:55:10
So he left. Yeah. Strangely, he says that saved his life of as the seven pals that he served with were killed in a truck. They were traveling in to Iraq by a missile attack, and he would have been on that truck with those lads. So it's like those sliding door moments of wishing you could go back, or that you're thankful that that happened in your past.

00:51:55:12 – 00:52:29:22
I think it's one of those things up to kind of round this, conversation off about traveling back in time or going forward, in time of being embarrassed or being having these emotions that you have, whatever's happened in your life. Yeah, I think they all they obviously shape you. And if those things didn't happen in your past and you wouldn't be where you are now, and you wouldn't have the experience and the knowhow and and things like that, and to be, to have that gratitude for what you have now.

00:52:29:24 – 00:53:09:18
Yeah. And I know it's painful looking back. It it kind of makes you the person that you are, really, oh, 54 days away. Then I would go back and tell my cousin not to go out that night because he was he got into a fight when he was 17. He was killed in the fight. And just seeing the impact that had on my auntie and her brother and his brother Mark, and that his sister Lucy and the dad, Alan, it it hasn't destroyed them, but it destroyed something.

00:53:09:20 – 00:53:37:17
And no doubt their life would have been a lot easier if that hadn't happened. And that's what I do. On a serious note, I'd change that. But she's amazing woman Jane, in terms of her ability to heal and mend and having gone through what she went through, certainly as a mother, it's terrible for for everybody involved.

00:53:37:17 – 00:53:52:03
But you imagine if you'd given birth to your child and had been taken in that way. And she's so good, she's so resilient. And I wish that if you had a time travel, that that's why I'd go back and change for real.

00:53:52:05 – 00:54:19:09
Think I can't add anything to that. And I don't even want to think about that situation, so I'm just going to leave it there. All right. And what I will say is, if you're enjoying this podcast, please continue to subscribe and follow us on Spotify, on Apple Podcast. And if you can, go into Spotify, look at Lads Anonymous, hit the little cog and go to Automatic Downloads.

00:54:19:09 – 00:54:41:01
And the same with you Apple guys as well, because it's neck and neck, both of you devices and where you listen. So do that. Automatic downloads help us out. We now going to go over to your dilemmas and things only you know. I'm not doing the jingle until things only you know right. That's good. Doesn't make any sense I'm going to start with the dilemmas.

00:54:41:01 – 00:54:58:09
Then you want me to do you want me to get Alex to do a dilemmas jingle? You can do. Yeah. That's good. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you know what else do that on discord? You can add sounds so that you can hear the jingles at the same time. Can you? Yeah. Like this sound.

00:54:58:11 – 00:55:05:21
Oh, like. Yeah, I thought I was, Gary drove something like that.

00:55:05:23 – 00:55:32:05
Oh, yeah, I we're so passé. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we'll have the jingle. So that's how you, next week. Nice. So this, that these, two dilemmas that are coming up, I've called them double dipping and an Irish jig. So double dipping. I split up with my missus two months ago. We were together for three years, and she was way out of my league.

00:55:32:07 – 00:55:54:08
A week after we split, I saw an ex who I went out for with for years, and one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together 4 or 5 times a week at mine. A few weeks ago, the ex who I split up with came round to look for something and she ended up staying round for three nights.

00:55:54:10 – 00:56:15:07
I'm now sleeping with both of them. A few took a few times a week, but neither of them know each other, but I know they don't like each other. Do I carried on doing this. Oh, come clean to both. I think I could get a threesome out of this and sort of want to, as I've never had one before.

00:56:15:09 – 00:56:36:05
I'm the only one who knows about this and I haven't told anyone apart from you too. So should should he she make a play for the frisson I love? Should he tell them of each other? Should he carry on doing this? I love in his brain. He thinks he can get a threesome out of this somehow, that they want that.

00:56:36:11 – 00:56:55:01
That's the the mentality. However, I think there'll be difficulties may arise when it comes to light that you've been shaking too, but at the same time. But what I would say is that in my experience, what you think is just casual sex might not be casual sex to them, and certainly the one that you've been sleeping with for a while.

00:56:55:03 – 00:57:19:17
Your xx, the one the first ex. I will say you bet you've been double dipping. You need to. You need to get yourself where you want. You could have. You might be using condom. Yeah, it could be. It doesn't sound like a condom guy. They if he's if he's if he is double dipping and he's trying to arrange a threesome, we should be he should be a condom guy if he's doing that.

00:57:19:17 – 00:57:38:06
Because like, you know what? Tonight is the night. There are there are some people out there, Ricky, just like, fuck it, I ain't using one ever. So I've got one out. I'm wearing it, I'm wearing it. I'm, Yeah. Got one on if. Did you know what I mean? That they just. They know that guys that don't wear a condom and they just don't.

00:57:38:06 – 00:58:03:16
Yeah, I know people like that and nothing that again. And generally it feels like they just get off scot free. Yeah. They, they one of them, they, they, they, in my head I was at one sex once. Convinced late. Yeah. So I thought was these, these we were just going around willy nilly dipping their dick without any fear of gonorrhea.

00:58:03:18 – 00:58:27:07
No, not not good advice. You need to choose one. Or is it? Clearly is. Clearly. Is it? In his instance, he's like, which one does he want? And ultimately, if you don't do this, you will hurt one of them. But I am quite interested. See if you do get a threesome. Should he tell? Should he tell the other one?

00:58:27:07 – 00:58:41:22
If he makes a decision, it says, I do want to get back with the ex. Then you should be really honest. Yeah. Completely honest. Cut it off. You don't say no. No, not completely honest. You just don't cut it. You cut it off and you don't. You like that's done with. Now you don't tell him everything. You know.

00:58:41:22 – 00:59:03:13
What's the point at tonight? Because he just said cards on the table. No, not cards on the table. Some of the some in the pocket. Some. Some of the pocket. Right. Yeah. Okay. Good. Good. Because not everybody like brutal honesty isn't always the best thing. A little bit of honesty. It's in order to save the feelings of the other person if that's what you want to do going forward I think.

00:59:03:15 – 00:59:22:07
Yeah. No, I think no, I think no, I think that's good. I think you covered it. Well, I'm going to go into the next dilemma. Graham couldn't couldn't Irish Jake actually just sits on the free something. Remember our mate? You had a threesome. We'd call him V.

00:59:22:09 – 00:59:45:07
No. Do you know what I mean when I say V? No, I think we both know V back. Back in the past, I Trinity, he wasn't always called v v. He might be listening to this because he does listen to funny and stuff. But I'm not gonna say his name, but his name is V, and we knew him from the same place where we met.

00:59:45:09 – 01:00:07:00
His name was. Right. Okay. Do you remember the phrasing story? Yeah, I dare you. I do, I do remember it. Yeah. So he was. I'd love to get him on it or get him to send him a voice recording of this. I'd g, but, to me, you keep talking of think I've still got a number.

01:00:07:02 – 01:00:12:04
I'll ask you if you could send in the story about the first time you had a free.

01:00:12:06 – 01:00:38:11
So I'm going to go with, the Irish jig. Right. Go on. I've been with my current missus for two and a half years now. I'm 23, and she's the only girl I've ever had a relationship with. She's generally one of the nicest people I've ever met, which makes my situation a bit worse. I went on a lads holiday last June and done something I never thought I'd do, and that's cheat on her.

01:00:38:13 – 01:01:01:06
I'm an average looking lad and I go in a club. Once said I was a six or a seven out of ten, which I'll take the girl I slept with and I be for honestly, one of the most attractive girls I've ever seen in my life. A total rocket, pretty face, nice body and an Irish accent which makes her even more attractive.

01:01:01:08 – 01:01:23:20
I feel bad, but also sort of proud of getting with a ten. My partner doesn't know about this and wasn't sure if I should tell her. Started and then he she started messaging me in November, a few months after I got back, and keep saying how she wants to visit London and come to England. Does she know about he's in a relationship?

01:01:23:22 – 01:01:39:15
Do I tell my partner about this or keep it a secret and meet up with the other girl in London and try to sleep with her again? I feel terrible that she's unbelievably fit.

01:01:39:17 – 01:02:08:23
So well. You shouldn't you shouldn't do that. Not even if she's like a rocket. RAF, you know it's not nice. I don't know, I'm not. I'm not in that mindset that I would ever consider it. Now, I don't think you should tell your wife or girlfriend unless you you intend to break up.

01:02:09:00 – 01:02:30:18
He's he's been with her two and a half years. Yeah. I mean, like, it seems like you're on a good road here, and maybe you've just. I don't get the pressure of the latter. They. You've made a mistake. I'd say been a. Well, Benny's go for now. No, not the girlfriend, the other girl. The Irish going in I be for.

01:02:30:18 – 01:02:50:19
I'm trying to think of any world. Where would I see them ever again. Would be a good thing, and I cannot. There is no. Is there no even meeting for a Costa, even meeting for a little meal or something, just to say, oh, Amal, they, they were great, blah blah blah. I have nothing to I don't go near them.

01:02:50:22 – 01:03:10:11
No, don't go near him. It's like you have to stop texting him. You've done what you did. And little pig. Yeah, and ignore it. Just, you know, just don't don't go further down that path. Yeah. Unless you want this. You just think, actually, look, it gives you reason to believe that your current relationship isn't the one you want.

01:03:10:12 – 01:03:34:14
And maybe, you know, you might be looking elsewhere, but just because you kind of fancy someone else or want to do something like that doesn't mean that the relationship isn't working. Nothing good is going to come from this, my friend, I don't think. I think you need to just fucking get a little digit. Keep in your pants, be a good boy, and continue to maintain the relationship that you have built for the last two and a half years.

01:03:34:16 – 01:03:53:22
Does it? Does he tell a girlfriend? No. God, no. Why? I don't know what what would tell me. Be honest. You need to be honest. I don't say if you will, if you do something and you like. If in my instance. Right. So if my wife went out, did something and she was convinced it would never going to happen again, would I want to know?

01:03:53:22 – 01:04:06:10
The answer is no. I'd rather live in ignorance because ignorance is reality. Okay. Oh gosh, I need to tell you something. Break my heart and I have to leave.

01:04:06:12 – 01:04:13:12
Yeah, that does that. Yeah, okay. But at least he's being honest. Fucking right. No.

01:04:13:14 – 01:04:37:00
No that's interesting. That's a good that's a good term. That's a good, way to leave that one as well. Don't get me wrong. If there's lots of, if there's lots of cheating involved in you, it's better to know that instance. But say there was one. One slip. Yeah. Don't get me wrong. If it happened and I found out, I don't know what I would do, and I'd literally I know absolutely it would be the end of our relationship.

01:04:37:02 – 01:04:54:11
But if it happened, I wouldn't want to ever know about it. And if you did tell me because it'd be over, right? So. But not sure I know, you know, you know, you're like, there's no world. Or I could see anything like that happening ever. Yeah, I am.

01:04:54:13 – 01:05:18:03
I don't think I would have the, the, would you call it the the conscience to be able to, to lie to my missus. I, if I, if my missus rang me up and said, oh have you done the haven't said, yeah. Have actually by now I just crack a crack within six. I couldn't keep anything from there.

01:05:18:03 – 01:05:39:08
I couldn't keep anything from her. And I couldn't live, I couldn't live a lie. I wouldn't be able to do it. It just wouldn't be my nature. I would, I would, I think I'd crack under that pressure. Well, I, I wouldn't even I couldn't even be like. It's not even like, if I think if something happens to us, I don't even give a shit about.

01:05:39:10 – 01:06:11:22
I wouldn't want to go and start again. The idea of starting again. I'll just run in front of a truck. Yeah. Same same same hold. Play the jingle, jingle, jingle. You take your jingle. Hang on a minute. Keep saying. You saying that I jingle de the jingle quick. One more time in the jingle. Oh, well, something, you know, you go and then say something.

01:06:11:22 – 01:06:38:06
Only, you know, I'm going to do the first one, but the second one is a fucking Perla. Is it? So stay tuned, I stay tuned, I'm half messaging Ben. Of shit. Fuck. Oh, I'm off mentioning, but it doesn't match the Ben. Let's get a secret shagging secret secret section of, I've been with my girls since we were 16.

01:06:38:08 – 01:07:00:14
Now both turn 20 recently. We've been together for four years and it's been great. What about to work that out? If you hadn't said that? I wanted to know if you. You two have ever done anything like this before. Because now I think back to it. It seems crazy that we even attempted this a few years ago.

01:07:00:16 – 01:07:24:17
I was at her house, which is an open which is open plan. Her parents were in the kitchen directly behind us while she was watching TV on the sofa and spooning. Directly to our left were her brothers in the room. After cuddling for a bit, one thing led to another. Before we knew it, I'd slipped a finger or two in and we were quietly doing this.

01:07:24:19 – 01:07:53:07
And then we stood. And then we started to shag as quietly as possible, to the point where I finished. Her brothers and parents were literally in a ten meter radius of us, and this happened on numerous occasions. The fact we was never caught blows my mind, and we both have said we would never try anything like this again due to us realizing what the fuck were we thinking?

01:07:53:09 – 01:08:22:15
So my question to you guys is, have you ever done anything like this? And where was the weirdest place? Well, that's not something only you know, you don't get quite. Just tell us the weird shit and fuck off, okay? Yeah. And it. Yeah. Why? Tom, you you know, you. Right. Next one. Okay. The next one is is a bait.

01:08:22:15 – 01:08:27:19
Okay. But bear with me. Bear with me.

01:08:27:21 – 01:08:31:09
The magic hand.

01:08:31:11 – 01:09:00:13
It is already funny. My. Something only you know is a story that set way back in the night. Eight during my late teens at house party of a mate of a mate. Things were dying down. Daylight was starting to creep in. And through the curtains, daylight was starting to creep in through the curtains. And those of us that decided to crash there were starting to find places to curl up and grab a few winks before the dreaded hangover journey home.

01:09:00:15 – 01:09:24:01
I was lucky enough to have plucked one of the ciphers and was soon sound asleep. I was served at some point a someone managed to squeeze on next to me, but lying the other way, top and sailing. I was a bit annoyed at losing out on so much comfort, but wasn't in the mood for arguing and was soon back off to sleep.

01:09:24:03 – 01:09:52:15
A little while later, I was disturbed again. This intruder of my personal space wasn't happy with just invading my space. They decided to take their invasion to a new level and had their hands down my jeans in my boxers and were fondling my cock and balls. They were doing a great job as well, taking their hand out now and again to spit on it and really rubbing the right places.

01:09:52:17 – 01:10:16:19
I'd only been with a couple of girls and they hadn't been as skilled as this one, so I let her carry on and clumsily let my hands rummage about her jeans to return the favor. You can imagine my shock when I found another rock hard cock. My, something I said, well, my first reaction wasn't anger or disgust.

01:10:16:21 – 01:10:40:14
More sudden understanding how they were doing such a good job. They knew their equipment better than any teenage girl could. I now had a dilemma. Did I recoil away? So I actually removed their hand. But did I go nuclear and wake the whole room up and make them aware of what was going on? Or did I let them carry on and offer some light relief back?

01:10:40:16 – 01:11:05:15
Well, I was young, a horny teenager who had just been single for a few months, so let them carry on and try to reciprocate. But to be honest, I'm ashamed to say I couldn't return the enthusiasm they were offering me before long. A shot my load, at which point they withdrew their hand, removed mine from theirs, and we were both carried on pretending to be asleep.

01:11:05:17 – 01:11:31:18
When I finally opened my eyes, I realized it wasn't a random stranger from the party, but someone I was close friends with. We never spoke for this moment and have remained friends for years without ever being mentioned. We drifted apart as the friendship group splintered, and I've learned recently he sadly passed away before he was, before he hit 40.

01:11:31:20 – 01:11:55:10
I can only assume he took this event to the grave with him, as I've never had anyone ever ask. Hey, I heard this rumor about you and Zac's from back in the day. It's something I never talked about to anyone, but it feels good to get it out there anonymously. I've never had anything like this happened since and had forgotten all about it.

01:11:55:14 – 01:12:29:23
But your blowjobs for mates talk reminded me of it. All the best, lads. That's what I'm talking about. That's why this segment exists. That is fucking God tier. That is God tier. That is God tier one. Something ugly, you know? Brilliant. More of that something than you do. You know that is elite level. That is. So he's basically he's he's got mashed up, he's on a sofa and they've what if, what's the girls got on the sofas with him and it's actually his mates tossing them off.

01:12:30:00 – 01:12:53:00
Right. That's that's what you live for. That's magic. Yeah. Like it's magic is. And like. And, I like the way, well how how we ended the situation. Do I go nuclear? Do I, like, remove his hand angrily. I mean, I'll tell him. Sit. The four of you doing that to me is revolting. Yeah, but if you didn't know it was a dark room.

01:12:53:02 – 01:12:57:16
You have a point of the lights everywhere. Yeah.

01:12:57:18 – 01:13:18:24
So now I know. Like, if it's like you're thinking about it too much. You're thinking about it too much, mate. Yeah, I'm thinking about you wanking me off. Yeah, I know it's good. Don't think about me. Think of. I'm thinking about you. Yeah, think of it. Potentially my sister. What? Because if you put a wig. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:13:19:02 – 01:13:25:00
We're going to show you distortion. I can't fucking see it's sister visible spots on.

01:13:25:02 – 01:13:52:17
Right. Yeah. That is a belter. That is great. More of that. See, everybody's got those stories. I haven't got one as good as that. But everybody's got something that only they know. The point of this is this is an opportunity to share. It's a circle of trust. Anything that you've got in your closet that's at the bottom under loads of clothes, jumping on it, shake and send in the lads onion pod at gmail.com.

01:13:52:18 – 01:14:02:05
I'm pledging and done something, you know.

01:14:02:07 – 01:14:23:06
Lovely staff. Lovely, lovely. And I think we'll end it there, mate, because you can't, you won't go, can't go on top of that, Kenya, you know you can't drop that. Well, I just realized you might have heard is that Alex actually did a, a something, you know, in and the something only you know, out, which is slightly different and it works even better.

01:14:23:08 – 01:15:00:04
I, I've seen both of these. Brilliant. Yeah. Again, guys, if you can follow us on all our socials, Insta, Twitter, Tik Tok lads. Anon pod, very easy handle to remember. And again the email lads onion pod at gmail.com if you want to send anything in next week, the topic is going to be a fear of flying. So anything that you have that would be relatable to Fear of Flying, send it in to us.

01:15:00:04 – 01:15:26:09
And until then, we'll see you next week. Just sent you this message. I just just let you know. So this is what I've done. Ben. Fuck that again. Can you do a voice note about that time we had a threesome and the bird rubbed your back for the lads, and, pod that I do with Ricky.

01:15:26:11 – 01:15:50:04
On them night. Hazy light. Band of brothers playing tunes, high as quiet. Midnight waves. Surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm. Here's different ways. Love of music. So we prayed with our tongues in cheek. Banzai! We like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers.