#20 | Lads Holidays | you won’t believe what Ricky did on holiday…

00:00:00:00 – 00:00:24:24
Hello and welcome to Lads Anonymous. It's episode 20, a podcast where two best mates of over 20 years invite you to enjoy in their safe space, where all manner of subjects will be discussed. We'll focus on a specific subject matter first and then answer your questions, dilemmas or need for advice, all handled anonymously. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast.

00:00:25:04 – 00:00:47:08
I stumbled there, yeah, because it said two best mates of over 20 years and it's episode 20. Oh, so it just threw my brain that fuck fuck when? How long is it? How long have we known each other? Is probably coming up to about 20 years. Said oh in the round in the intro says over 20 years. So you've been lied to.

00:00:47:08 – 00:01:08:04
People? Yeah. Pretty much. No you haven't. I've known you for four. I've known you for four years, 20, 2000, 23 we met. So yeah. How was it really in 21 years? More or less. No, I didn't like it. No, this. I don't know this. I'm glad someone's escaping you. You know, when you're like, when your anniversary, anniversaries and stuff like that for your misses.

00:01:08:06 – 00:01:27:00
Yeah, of course I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. That's. Why is that more important than knowing when we just a year, you know, asking for a date. The year when we met. That is. Yeah. I should know that 2000 for you. You sure. Yeah. Well, that's when I joined the message board. So. Right. Okay. That's fine. That's.

00:01:27:00 – 00:01:49:03
That is on the. What was your name on the message board. Fuck sticks. I don't think and originally it wasn't fuck your actual name. It was your foot name. She's like the opposite of what you do now. Yeah, I this was my first message board. I never got anything, so I wasn't really. Oh my, the I was my age.

00:01:49:03 – 00:02:27:16
Everything on the internet straight away. So, what happened? Really? The message board got hacked. It's by some sort of Muslim fundamentalists. Islamic fundamentalists? Yeah. And there was loads of, sort of propaganda on shortly after. We're not long after the Twin Towers and the invasion of Iraq and, and Afghanistan and all that sort of stuff. And, so as a, as a sort of kicked back, there was this, I guess websites and message boards were just who were vulnerable to cyber attacks would get taken over by the by this sort of extremist messaging from, from the east.

00:02:27:18 – 00:02:49:18
So weird. So you panicked and took your real name off because you thought they were going to come and get you, right? Yeah. I tap profile picture changed everything. To this day, it's what I don't have. My, I don't have my surname, on a lot of social media and stuff in case what happens in case they get me you all, you're super friendly online, which is going to come back and bite you in your ass one day.

00:02:49:18 – 00:03:10:19
Yeah, I know, I know and I know and I don't fucking. Yeah, I've got a slight, you need to be under the weather there and. Yeah, got a bit of a code I was on, on a stag do my cousin's stag day for four days in alb. If you're in Portugal. Four days a lot. Yeah, it is a lot.

00:03:10:19 – 00:03:39:18
We'll get we'll get into, okay. Into that because the, the topic for today is, lads holidays. So we will get into that. To go back on a couple of things from last week. Someone has emailed in and they're not happy with me that they recently had a sexy dream for the first time, and they're furious with me that I've done this to them.

00:03:39:18 – 00:03:58:24
They've never had one in their life. And since listening to this podcast, like some kind of like, drip feeding subconscious that his body is now jacked while he's been asleep and he's blaming me, said he's he's taking himself off auto download because of it. Fuck you. Now my shit out. We'll see this. I know it's not this, but what's this case?

00:03:58:24 – 00:04:15:13
His name. I'll point them out that you worry. Do you know? Does he know you? Do you know him? No, I don't think I do know. I don't know him personally. No, no, no. So he's he's he's stopped becoming an auto download because you you've made him have sexy dreams. I hope you know what I hope?

00:04:15:13 – 00:04:37:18
Because I've seen this in his brain that somehow this age, at has happened around me. I was in his dream. Maybe I was the one having sex with him. Maybe he was having sex with me. And it's really thrown him because his mental. What your brain will do, right? Oh, I know it's pieced together some mental shit for him.

00:04:37:20 – 00:05:00:11
And I don't know what's happened between us, but he's a Jackson. It's the end. It's it's it's completely feasible that despite being a heterosexual male, if he is that that he's dreamt about having sex with you, you being the bottom, that's, you know. No, no, no, no, this is I'm just saying in the dream, it doesn't matter is not reality, right?

00:05:00:11 – 00:05:25:16
So don't worry about it. It's not okay. It hasn't actually happens here. And he's exact. He's a jerk. Told. And he's, And he doesn't always do it. I've had some mental dreams. I'm not sure I'll ever repeat to anybody. And I'm like, oh, I wake up and go, what the fuck was that about? Woke up ashamed, confused, confused, not ashamed because I'm always like, that's not me.

00:05:25:16 – 00:05:43:08
That's my subconscious doing us. Yeah, yeah, but I know. But still it's it makes you feel a bit. Yeah, yeah, it still feels a bit weird. Like you've just. I've that you've just got up, it got up and you got off of you mate or something like this geezer as he's dreamt he's got off of me. That's. And he's, he's acting like that, which is fair enough.

00:05:43:11 – 00:06:01:01
If you'd never mentioned it, it would. That would never have happened. Yeah. I think it's about me. No, not in a sexual way. No. I ever had a dream about me before. I've been in it. Yeah, more than likely I can't, I can't recall, I don't remember ever dreaming about you or anyone I know. Really. Right. That's good.

00:06:01:01 – 00:06:22:17
Thanks for smoking. What? You haven't had any sleep? So worrying. After this, you go home and you go and dream about me, right? Yeah. If when you go home. But loads of photos of me around the bed. Take a all the ones of the kids and your wife and all the happy holiday photos and to put pictures of me and really concentrate about dreaming of me.

00:06:22:19 – 00:06:41:03
All right. But if I, if my energy isn't a top level, I've only had like four hours sleep. I was working till late last night, so I haven't been able to really get a good night's sleep. But, just quickly on what some of you just said that, yeah. Holiday photos. Photos of the family. Is that a bit.

00:06:41:04 – 00:07:07:12
Yeah. Around the house? No. Not really. That's. That really isn't us. We don't have any of that. We are more of, art. I've seen lots of artwork in the family. That's quite cool. Yeah, we're more to. We'd put more art and posters up on the wall rather than, those kind of staged family photos that you see of people.

00:07:07:14 – 00:07:36:15
And when we say, like we've got, a wall that is art of our children, but it's, it's it's interesting art. It's not it's not kind of, what you'd get off the shelf, shall I say. And then art, as in the fact, like if I was to go to Ikea and buy a London Big Ben and double decker bus canvas thing, you would not see that in my house.

00:07:36:16 – 00:07:55:12
That's very like you fucking like he's saying that because he knows he bought it and he doesn't like it. Yeah, that's not well. What about you? You're not just as a couple of pictures of the wedding and whatnot and a couple of photos on the fridge, but nothing. Nothing like that. I don't like my, And I'm nothing against it.

00:07:55:12 – 00:08:17:02
It's just, I don't know. I don't know, it's just something I wouldn't. It's not say I really I have to tell you what I did, but I bought a Remo poster. Yeah? Yeah. Recently. What poster? Remo in the main room in Texas. I see my car. It's in my car. I go and get it before we finish.

00:08:18:00 – 00:08:34:11
I would do that framed up and put it behind me. Replace that for a bit. Oh, are you ready? Oh, mate, that is fucking read it might, it was only like a relatively cheap thing off the internet, so I thought I was gonna look like if it looks decent on me, I would definitely get sorted. Anyway, let's move on.

00:08:34:13 – 00:08:58:05
Nice. We've, We had, you know, there was a voice night last week. Oh, yeah. We've got any more? Not got any more. Actually, someone did send one in, but it was. It was like they did their own podcast. Listen, listen, anyone listen to this? What I really, really love. And it really enhances the show. If you can send in audio versions of your email, that's sort of more engaging than Ricky reading it though.

00:08:58:05 – 00:09:16:05
Ricky reading, it's fantastic as well, right? But in a podcast, it can't be any more than like a minute, two minutes. If it's a really good story and has a really good punchy ending, two minutes is absolutely fine. Anything more than that just not never going to work for a pod. So yeah, if you could send in, just try send it in.

00:09:16:05 – 00:09:36:16
We can disguise your voice no matter what it is. The more audio bits and pieces we can get in, the better, I think I really love them, but, Yeah, if it's like war and peace, how are we going to put it in? We can't put it in. So someone's just someone just ask a quick question. And then regarding the the audio, would you rather die at sea in a boat or die in a plane crash.

00:09:36:18 – 00:09:59:13
So, I didn't really have to think about. I think I'd rather I got on a plane quick, easy than. Yeah. I think if you had to choose, what would it be? I don't want to be bobbing around in the sea. No. You know, do you most do you know, the most aggressive shot or what would you think the most aggressive shark is?

00:09:59:13 – 00:10:29:05
Rick in the sea. Aggressive, most aggressive slash dangerous. I'd probably. Well, I mean I'd go for the obvious. Well great light probably about fourth. Rick. Fourth I would say. Yeah. Promote fourth down. Most dangerous. Who's well who's top dog then. Well, it depends where you are. If you're by the coast or wherever. Most people seem to be in, in the ocean, in the sea, then it's hundreds in a bull shark.

00:10:29:05 – 00:10:51:07
Right. Because the shark in and around there, in and around the. And there, you know, you say in terms of relative terms, no sharks, super aggressive. But you know, if if you're in and around a river or a, you know, the coastal or the beach, then a bull shark is the one that get you. But the most aggressive shark in the ocean is an oceanic whitetip.

00:10:51:09 – 00:11:12:22
And they are they live out there. I remember the word for for fish that are in the center of the ocean, but they they live far out to sea in the very they're very deep water. And so I would be very interested there are very interested in things like cruise liners and, and things going down in the ocean because they spend so much time without food.

00:11:12:24 – 00:11:35:04
And so they have to be aggressive. Fuck you. Look at them. You think, I don't think I could be if I saw one of them. I ain't bothered, but they will fuck you up and you know, so so if you point is if you're bobbing out at sea and you're in an area that that might have those like the Atlantic or the Pacific, where else are you going to be in a body of water is unlikely to be a wreck.

00:11:35:04 – 00:12:00:22
Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. And they they're generally not alone. There's a couple of them a pack sometimes. Oh, God. And what are you going with. Yeah, yeah. They just obliterate me. We've actually got an email that will, that you like, actually. Yeah. This is one for you, one for you. And it is from someone you actually know.

00:12:00:24 – 00:12:34:11
We'll discuss it later, right? Genes never in the washing machine. Hang them outside for a bit and then spritz them with denim refresher. Yeah. Hierarchy of genes. Blackhorse Lane, I Attila. I've never heard of those. And then Edwin for every day. Yeah, man, I can't recommend them enough. That's, that's coming from the gene guy. The gene guy.

00:12:34:11 – 00:12:52:05
So. So I'm not. So people are into jeans and no, their denims ain't putting them down, putting their genes for the washing machine. And we're not talking. That's weird. I mean, but what what happened on a Saturday night out? Beer spitting on a piss spraying all over. Yeah. Because it. You said the nature of the fabric, it doesn't go into it.

00:12:52:05 – 00:13:13:05
It sort of sits on top. It's not I if you feel one day when we're together, Raquel wear me. Edwin's right. And you and you can wear you hate him and it we'll compare the the quality of the material. It's almost like they don't absorb it now. Right? That's not to say that, you know, because as men and women might know this, although they may have heard of it.

00:13:13:05 – 00:13:40:00
When you're having a leak, especially as you get older, you get a bit you don't know whether is some in the chamber. And it can be that when you floppy cock or in Ricky's case, yeah, after flick your cock back in. Thank you. Yeah. And a little bit of piss falls out, you cock into your pants. And if that over a four month period, that's quite a lot of piss that soaks into your jeans.

00:13:40:00 – 00:14:00:10
So I'm not to say that my jeans have a smell of piss, but, I got you. Can't avoid it. I must say. You got a musky cock. Yeah, I have been told. And the. And so? So you'd think washing machine is the one, but it doesn't. It's not good for longevity of the gene. And genuinely don't they don't smell.

00:14:00:10 – 00:14:17:04
So it's something about the quality of denim but that they do have to go in the freezer every now. Right. Okay. So to say top tier denim don't wash H&M, wash stretch jeans. It doesn't matter of the damage the quality you'll get by another one in a month anyway because they fall apart. That's the get yourself a pair.

00:14:17:06 – 00:14:36:11
Although they don't come in skinny, the can't get them skinny jeans. The what like straight leg is this no of big straight like the straight leg jeans that's what. Yeah I'll have a look. I'll have a look. I'll have a look. Try some on. I don't know, anywhere in Milton Keynes where they'll be, say, selling Edwin J.

00:14:36:12 – 00:14:55:04
Yeah, they're not as exclusive as you think. You can get the most places. Like there will be somewhere in Milton Keynes. Will you be able to get them? But generally independent shops anyway, let's just fucking dole for people to listen to. But but no, no, I, I'm going to get some. Yeah. Just, just just for you. If I was coming to what Edwin just made me.

00:14:55:04 – 00:15:19:12
Yeah. So I before we jump into today's topic, we, we'll just say Instagram. Keep on tagging us. One fact I would just like to shout out, somebody tagged us taking a photo of their dog having a shit and then tagged with them, listening. Now, I did, I shared it. Oh good. It was hilarious. Out get various.

00:15:19:21 – 00:15:41:10
So the more interesting photos that you said, not that, they are going to go top of the pile and keep sending them to take a photo of you listening to lads anonymous screenshot. It, upload it to your Instagram stories, and at lads anon pod fucking. I can't get my bum words out today. I really already already like them.

00:15:41:10 – 00:15:54:23
This is a really good idea. It's always funny when you're watching it. I like that there was, what's that girl's name? She posted a picture of a heart. I don't know how she did that. I don't know now I do. I have no idea how people do stuff on Instagram. Them loves and fuck. You know what?

00:15:54:23 – 00:16:22:09
I don't have to make anything work. But, Yeah, I really like. That. Was cool. She's in the US somewhere. New York, New York, New York. Yeah, it's a qualifier. I actually qualify. So today's topic is lads holidays. So holiday season is hotting up now. You know, I read today that, it's going to be the wettest summer in England.

00:16:22:11 – 00:16:42:07
Like, fucking 100 years or whatever. Brilliant. Like 50 days of rain or some shit like that. I don't know, everyone's now going on. What, you thought the ozone layer was fucked and we're all just going to die first? That's all for. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Apparently we're getting all the water we need. As I understand it, water brings life, don't we?

00:16:42:07 – 00:16:59:06
We can't do anything about it. So if it rains, if it isn't that good thing, crops are going to grow. Well, who's right here? Is it al Gore or is it Donald Trump? Because right now Trump is looking all right. Trump looks like he knows what you talking about. He said don't worry about it. So we're going to be fine.

00:16:59:10 – 00:17:17:24
Al Gore made a documentary to get everybody. Do you want to be scared or you want to be cool like Donald Trump? I just want to be hot. That's all I want to be. I just want to be hot. Just want to be hot. Yeah, well, he'll REM first ever lads. Holiday. Have you ever been on a lads holiday?

00:17:17:24 – 00:17:36:05
What? What is the day? I've been. I've been. So this is what I wanted to, This is this is a good point, because I did want to discuss this because we've spoken about it before. That your lads, your first lads holiday. You went to Turkey with your cousin? Oh, yeah. Yeah, but it wasn't like. Is that right?

00:17:36:08 – 00:18:03:07
Yeah. See, I told us as a lads holiday, a lads holiday for me is maybe five days plus with lads on a summer holiday. Yeah. So I've, I've been to my two guys. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. I mean if you're not trying to, if there are loads of men going more then in not trying to shag other things, then it's not really a lads holiday is it.

00:18:03:07 – 00:18:26:12
It's just a bit just men go. No need to get fucked up. Yeah. Men abroad a lot. There's at least two different things here. There's lads, lads holiday which is big year and slags and then. And then the. Yeah. And then you got, you got, you got the men's holiday. It was just men go and have a few beers, maybe play a bit of golf.

00:18:26:17 – 00:18:49:10
That's. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah I don't, I don't think I've ever been on the lads holiday. If that's the definition of green. I don't think I've ever really been on a lads holiday in that regard. Although I've been on lots of gentlemen's holidays, but I was just going to drink and so enjoy the holiday, so that's holiday. When I was younger I went on two lads holidays.

00:18:49:12 – 00:19:12:22
When I was 17 I went to Tenerife. When I was 18, I went to Magaluf at five and then I've been on those like the, like the I don't know if you calling them the gentleman. Holidays I went to, I've been to Amsterdam maybe 2 or 3 times, but that was for three days. It's rather wet, like loads of fun.

00:19:12:22 – 00:19:37:17
We're not there to get, you know. No one's there trying to pull women. Yeah, it's just 55, so I wouldn't cast that as a lads holiday, you know, I mean so so so the parameters here, Ricky, are hot weather more than five days. It being a bit seedy. Yeah. And loads of drinking. Yeah. Yeah. On the pole. Fry ups every morning.

00:19:37:19 – 00:20:04:18
Yeah yeah yeah. Started drinking about midday. Yeah. By the pole when I mean midday. Not minus too late, too late. Good to see you later. Later. Like. All right. I remember my first lads holiday there. I've got loads of stories about this one. I went to Tenerife. I was, we stayed up. It, it Playa de las Americas, Playa Las Americas or something like that.

00:20:04:18 – 00:20:38:10
And it's just where that strip of bars. And it is, it is utter mayhem. It's like the neon lights, loud music, loads of conversations, loud conversations, people being sick. People fighting like people just eating kebabs and all different types of food. It is everyone's drinking cocktails a bit. It's just it's just it's an attack on the senses.

00:20:38:10 – 00:20:59:09
But when you 17 love it, it is like I'll remember when I remember when we booked it all. For some reason I can't remember why I didn't book my mates. My mates had booked it. They were all going, they were all excited about it. And I booked my holiday within with two days to go. So I was a late book.

00:21:00:09 – 00:21:20:00
And then after I got that, after I was in, we were all there messaging each other. Well, she was super excited. Was you with your wife then? Yes, I was, yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah. About you got a lot on lights. Tenerife. I think she was flying. Totally. Trust me. Totally. I mean, like, safe as well.

00:21:20:01 – 00:21:48:20
Highly sexy was then. Yeah. Yeah, I think she knows. You reckon, you know. You sure you'd never do that? So. Yeah, exactly. She's got more. She's better to be worried about that I'd kill myself from doing something stupid. Yeah, that's true. And alcohol wise than, anything where we've, with another woman say, see, she was totally fine, but I could see if, like, your if you're fed up with going nobody on a lads holiday.

00:21:48:20 – 00:22:18:03
What your mind, what your mindset would be like. Yeah. Of course, 100% I would I think if a lads holiday. So I we've we've met Mrs. Ollie I would be amazed if she did anything like it would blow my mind in a bad way. Just I could not conceive of that but men haven't quite a bad. Certainly lads that want to go on lads holidays.

00:22:18:05 – 00:22:37:22
Yeah, they don't necessarily have the bad. A good reputation in dealing with these things. And is that what state, what happens in Tenerife stays in Tenerife. Yeah. They used to be something that's actually legitimate, legitimately could be upheld because it was only word of mouth that would kill you. Now Facebook will kill you. Yeah. For sure, for sure.

00:22:37:22 – 00:22:57:05
Oh, well, then if you can tell the story, I don't think you can tell this story. No, no, don't tell a story. I think it's your story. Something you've told me in the past about about. Right. Okay. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Well, reverse reverse up on that sort of thing. Yeah.

00:22:57:07 – 00:23:13:17
So I think he's well, there's, there is a lot of truth in that with social media and why people aren't on there and things that have happened abroad. And it's all okay because what happens is what happens. A lot of the day stays on. The other day I changed my I literally deleted my Facebook account because of you, Rick.

00:23:13:18 – 00:23:31:16
And and all the fucking pictures I used to share. You worked for a youth charity and those are just pictures of me. MDMA off my tits. It was it really because of me? Not well, it was more. It was in part down to my actions. Right. But it was, it was I couldn't control, I didn't I didn't help, I didn't help, but it wasn't just you.

00:23:31:16 – 00:23:44:08
It was it. Everyone. The cameras and Facebook was new and it was exciting. And everyone wanted to upload and show everyone how brilliant their life was. And I was in the middle of all that.

00:23:44:10 – 00:24:13:14
On off at like our first lads holiday, right? It was proper. You know, I think anyone that is listening to this and if they are truly honest with themselves, it was like The Inbetweeners going abroad. Like, honestly, we got there, we put our bags down, went out into the they went out to get some food, came back, was drinking and then we went out, hit the strip.

00:24:13:16 – 00:24:38:12
It was dead. It was fucking dead. No one about it was rubbish. We were like, oh great, this was supposed to be the, the, you know, the party place, Tenerife flats holiday. So we sloped off back to the hotel of our tails between our legs. All right. Absolutely ruined steaming. And we got there and we said to the person at reception, like, fucking, this is supposed to be banging this place.

00:24:38:12 – 00:25:05:13
Like, what's, what's the matter? She was like, that's it's 930. People don't go out until 12:00. I, we were on England time. You got out early 6:00. Start smashing it in, and then you steam in at 10:00. I didn't like we didn't know that these clubs that start getting lively around 12:00. So we went back up to our room to carry on the party.

00:25:05:18 – 00:25:28:20
And it was like by 9:45 I was already being sick in the kitchen, seeing the fucking I empathetic man. I am absolutely perfect. The, the, you know, the people of Tenerife are like turning on tourists now that like, we don't care anymore. Yeah, yeah. My wife's going there in a month. Oh, is she really? Yeah. The girls have just graduated from school or graduate.

00:25:28:22 – 00:25:51:05
They've done the GCSEs so that her and her friend are taking the two daughters to Tenerife. Do you know where they're going in Tenerife? Not. Not to the, not to the party district. I think, they're going to that they're going to go there. You know, I probably will. It's not, I'm not, it's not really bothered about Ollie and the and the I won't say a lady's name, but she doesn't like it.

00:25:51:06 – 00:26:11:09
Doesn't like it. They like they are ladies. Right. So they know themselves. But the 216 year old girls going as well, which is, Yeah. That's it. Well, when I was I again, this is when I was 17, when my first lads or I didn't really know about anything when, when I went over there. This is how old and long ago it was.

00:26:11:11 – 00:26:37:12
We didn't have money. We had like, they called traveler's checks. Yeah, yeah. So. So you lose your money in case you lose your money. So you would have to go to a shop that has this facility, like a post office or whatever banks would with it. Was it banks as well? Yeah. Yeah, I can't remember. I just know I had these traveler's checks and give them these checks and they would give me money.

00:26:37:12 – 00:27:01:06
So it wasn't like I could go to a cashpoint or that I had already changed money when I went out there. Yeah, yeah, it's fucking weird, man. And then I also remember, like in three days before I'd got to ten or even duty free, I'd bought 200 sovereign cigarets. I'd smoked them in three days.

00:27:01:08 – 00:27:26:14
It was just chaining. I see this is what lads holidays are about. It's about gutting cigarets. Yeah. Drinking excessively, being sick, eating kebabs and for the for the for the men out there that go out chasing tail as well. And women as well. When the other side although I can't you know, I have no experience on that obviously.

00:27:26:16 – 00:27:53:02
But it's, it's utter mayhem. It is mayhem. I, I remember was, was this, this is weird fascination with men. And so it's like you're still around to go there to get fucked up for your mates and the party with, to pull birds, and you want them to pull birds. But then there's this weird fascination that you want to watch your mate on the job.

00:27:53:04 – 00:28:11:22
Well, you want it well, you want to break into the bedroom that they're in. And I remember my, my mate with, with some bird and we were like, oh, you should we go back in like, just not shout through the window or do this or do that. And the window slats were there. So we were like, right. If we just push the window slats we can look.

00:28:11:24 – 00:28:39:17
So he pushed the window slats and had a look through, and all I could see was my mate crouched over his balls, swinging between his legs as he was chowing down on some. Of the fucking this mental and and and again in Magaluf. My mate was with some other birds and we'd rushed in there because we knew he's on the job as to say a,

00:28:39:19 – 00:29:04:20
And obviously we left him alone. He done the job. She left wife there off for on the bed, on the, on the on the mattress. There was a, like a, a dark stain, a blood stain. Now, this mattress and the blood stain was there previously. You know, it's one of those old ones, but we pretended that it was a fresh blood stain, so we called him a dick for the rest of the holiday.

00:29:04:22 – 00:29:39:07
So it's all these things, all these. And we still call it day. All these things of lads holidays that are just absolutely fucking mental. Now, I said at the top of the show, I've just been on a stack. They are not sorry. Yeah, it wasn't a stack. They, it was to Albufeira in Portugal and they have like a mini strip where again, neon lights, booze, fags, the loudness and all of it was just as a 40 year old guy, it like it was, it was just the anxiety in me.

00:29:39:07 – 00:30:01:20
It was like, I didn't like it. I didn't like it. Having to talk to people, talking to like, other guys of a, you know, it was just really, I, I just, I don't know, I froze, you know, when you get there, you you freeze and then you have a few drinks, you go into bars and people are outside bars, like grabbing at you.

00:30:01:21 – 00:30:21:08
They're like zombies clawing at you saying, pay €10. You get double fucking in there. Yeah, you get double shots. And if you've got a stag, the stag drinks are free. And if you've got this and that and it's just like people pulling at you left, right and center, and then it's like people are like coming to our restaurant.

00:30:21:08 – 00:30:39:00
We've got, you know, burger and chips for €3. You got this. And then there's a sports and it's not fuck you now, man. This is too much. Yeah, yeah too much. It was like that when I went to Turkey was it was every every past everyone. And it's just etiquette that they will harangue you and get you trying to get into the restaurant.

00:30:39:06 – 00:30:58:10
It's a bit like that in Brick Lane, actually. I don't if you've been like, like, obviously there's like a thousand curry. I've never actually been to Brick Lane. You have, you have when we've been out, you've definitely been out in Brick Lane. We did multiple times, probably in Shoreditch in, in it's near, Spitalfields Market. Yeah, yeah.

00:30:59:00 – 00:31:31:20
We, we walked down that road together at least 20 times. We. But there is a, there is a shitload of, in the restaurants and they compete in and they want to get people in. But it's not an etiquette that is, is is comfortable to be in. It's not a. Yeah and the same but I've heard the same things about like Morocco and Egypt have a very similar thing where you kind of it's acceptable to be harangued and you have to except that that's a part of it, but it does my fucking head in.

00:31:31:20 – 00:31:54:01
I would last like five minutes where I gotta get the fuck out of here. I couldn't yeah, I couldn't stand it. What your every you just described. Yeah. It's the last thing I'd ever want to do. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. So that is that's, that's the the next point as in and I think I know you pretty well as well, because when I was saying that, I can almost feel you recoiling at, every single thing that I was saying.

00:31:54:01 – 00:32:12:16
It's not made for us. No, it's not anymore. Is we too old at this time? My life. And the thing is, again, when I said I went on this taxi for four days, I could have come home after the second day. It was just. You're not a good barometer for this, Ricky, because you're. You're a bad hangover.

00:32:12:18 – 00:32:36:02
Yeah. You still. That's body. First I got steaming and the hangover in the morning. It was. It was moderate. But you're in a hot place. Yeah. You got an Airbnb? No. Worse if pools. Okay. I work late in the sun lounger. Have some, smoke some cigs. Yeah. Listen to the tunes pumping out. You'll be all right. Yeah.

00:32:36:02 – 00:33:01:09
And then by 2:00, that afternoon, I was back on the supervooc. I was fine all gravy. Second, I went out, got steam, and again rolled in at 4:30 with screaming my heart out on the karaoke. Woke up again in the morning to do the same thing. Ride out the hangover, drink some more. I couldn't even look at a cigaret.

00:33:01:11 – 00:33:27:05
Lads, any any chance you could tell the music that made me? It's going in. Fuck fucking know as to what I'm going inside. It just went and it just went downhill. When you have a stick up. I didn't have a stick up, fortunately. And then on that evening, we went for the big stag meal, expensive steakhouse that we went to a and that you could pick steak from Uruguay.

00:33:27:06 – 00:33:46:16
Yeah. Argentina, America. Grass fed this, that and the other wagyu and yeah, I'll buy it. I had it all and it was fucking a beautiful truffle mash, all this other stuff. And I sat there and I ate. Oh. And it was beautiful. But I was so hung over that I had no appreciation for it and it was not right.

00:33:46:17 – 00:34:12:17
But we've got to go out and have that. Just take me back to the villa. Just take me back to Vienna now. I can't, I can't do this anymore. I can't, I can't do it. It was. And like that now it's if I was to go right away with my mates and again I've done the previous stag. They had one of the lads that would be listening, the Gouda, one of The Goonies and, his stag do in Bombay.

00:34:13:17 – 00:34:37:16
I think I drank on the first night. And the hangover the next day was outrageous. Utterly outrageous. I couldn't shake it off. Second night I went out, still drank, but I couldn't get back to that. That height. Yeah. So these times the age of 40, I just I can't I want to tell you about Club Steak restaurant.

00:34:37:16 – 00:35:08:20
Right. So steak. Right. Yeah. Did you go out after it. No no no no the lads did. I went out with them. They all ordered beers and were nursing that beers. I just sat there. Nothing. You you cannot. And I don't know why. Everybody understands this and knows this, but they just willfully seem to ignore this. If you want to go out on a night out, you can't go and have a steak dinner with mash or curry or and then go out like we did a stack thing with, for Lee.

00:35:08:22 – 00:35:23:13
And they did, but we were only there for two nights, to be fair. But one of them, we had planned to go to this. They found a pretty nice old Mexican restaurant we ate, and everyone's just sitting there just sipping beer and then eventually like, oh, better go home. You can't go for a meal and then go out.

00:35:23:13 – 00:35:40:02
You cannot do it. It's impossible. Don't know why people recommend the US. You have a nice meal and then we go out. Don't fucking recommend that. You know what happens when you do that? So why are you even bringing it up and what are the other people to know better? Bring it up constantly. They know about it. They know they've been there.

00:35:40:02 – 00:35:54:24
We've all been there a million times. Don't go for a big meal. What, 7:00? If you then want to go out and go clubbing because it's never going to fucking happen. So fine, make a decision. We go for a meal when we go back, maybe have a glass of wine, have a little chat around a campfire or like that.

00:35:54:24 – 00:36:15:15
Yeah, that's what it sounds. Great. Oh, everyone have a sandwich about 4:00 and fucking forget about eating and then go out. Let's go out and have it. Yeah. You can't have a meal. Just trying to be and nice in the bread. What really fucking infuriates me is they're trying to be dignified. They want they try anything. I, you know, as adults we can have a meal and then we can go out.

00:36:15:15 – 00:36:37:15
You can't. The body doesn't work that way. You can't make a decision. Sandwiches at four, an out or meal when I'm back home for a glass of wine. Even if he was fine with me. I'll tell you what is. Well, what am I talking about? These, whether it's stag day or lads holidays or whatever, is that are for you now.

00:36:37:17 – 00:36:56:02
And I have a bit of, you know, I wouldn't say I've got a lot of confidence about me. They've got a bit of confidence about me when everyone's ordering full English in the morning, everyone's getting a cheeky cerveza. Now, can I just. I just want a white coffee, please. Oh, you know, get on the beers. No, it's 11:00.

00:36:56:04 – 00:37:12:03
They want it. That is a bit so that's that's a bit softer. No no no no. You're ordered that you know it's home to about etiquette. You can't have a you know I don't carry your own. You shouldn't be arriving. You should be ashamed yourself. I was perfectly fine with it. Loved it. And then by the police.

00:37:12:03 – 00:37:29:02
Well, everyone smashing bays down the back, you know, that's a that's all that you definitely just force yourself to have a beer. Yeah, yeah, I know I would have been sick back in that pint and still drank it because you can't leave your beer. Yeah. It's those things where I'm right at this time of my life. You know where I can.

00:37:29:04 – 00:37:54:04
If I'm by the pool and I'm lying on a sun lounger. It's all right. I don't need to be up playing fucking kick ups or anything like that. Like, try. But, you know, whatever it is, it's. It's all right to be at this age and be like, I'll have a few beers, but I ain't going to go mad, or I'm going to go to the strip at about 1:00.

00:37:54:04 – 00:38:21:17
I'm going to go, I'm, I'm then I'm going to have a couple of bottles of red, not roll in at five in the morning. So I'm kind of all right with it. The where I am at the moment. Yeah, I'm much better in turning in at the right time, like I said, like in in in Amsterdam. I think we mentioned this, but we managed to catch hold of some of the finest primo Mozart, that you ever have that I've ever been there.

00:38:21:19 – 00:38:38:10
And we made the decision to chuck it away because it was to Hutch. And that's something that would never happen as a kid. Isn't that how you kind of, you know, you know, where your limit is, I reckon. But yeah, we I would take I would never, I never want to go on a lads holiday ever. I'll go away.

00:38:38:10 – 00:39:00:24
I'll. Do you know what what we did in Amsterdam in terms of like going away as couples. That was great because there was almost like. Not that they were just there to regulate. But there's worry sometimes of me and they're left alone. Yeah, but we know we're bad. Yeah, let's not get into it too much. But it was like a different atmosphere.

00:39:00:24 – 00:39:22:13
That's what it was. Whereas men argue each other on creates an environment that's. Yeah they do. And and like I saying there is always that will be it's early in the morning. There is there is no need for a beer. I know you're on holiday. I know you want to do it, but there is no need to crack a beer open because we're geezers.

00:39:22:13 – 00:39:52:22
And then that first beer that goes open, everyone looks at each other like, fuck up and do that. Then, yeah, I bet I do that. But yeah. All right then, before we end this section, I totally forgot one story when I was out in Magaluf, I was 18. This was around the time where vodka Red bull was rife in Wetherspoons and everywhere, so all we'd be doing is ordering jugs of vodka, Red bull.

00:39:52:22 – 00:40:19:02
Now anyone that's listened to this product knows me. At some point during the night, I had a rumble in my stomach. Didn't know what to do. I remember being absolutely smashed, going to this toilet and seeing like a silver toilet. There was piss all over it, tissue strewn everywhere, sick on the floor and I thought, oh cock, I just can't have a turn out here.

00:40:19:04 – 00:40:50:08
I just can't do it. So I went back out, carried on drinking, forgot about it, which was great. Then about six in the morning, being the latter walking home. And as you do, you spot a beach. Oh, let's all do a bit of naked swimming, shall we? Let's all be big boys. So we jumped in the sea and we swam out to one of those, you know, those bobbing boys that's a slide guy in Tenerife that's got a slide down it all absolutely mangled.

00:40:50:10 – 00:41:13:16
So I swam out with my mates and I'm a shit swimmer to one of those. And as we were there, everyone was on the platform. Lads and I need to share their luck. Mate, you're in the seas. Where were you guys anyway? So I was like, that's not true, right? I don't think so. I was like, all right, I'm just going to I'm just going to have to do it now.

00:41:13:17 – 00:41:34:01
I'll just I'll just do in the pool. And they said, have you done it? And I said, yeah, I've done, I've done it. Let's come out. And as I was climbing up the ladder on this thing, they're like, where is it then? If you've done it, all of a sudden there was like eight orange whatsits just floated to the surface like the Armada Spanish Armada.

00:41:34:01 – 00:42:01:09
That was there waiting, and everyone was fucking back, or just lying on the thing crying with laughter. I remember that, so yeah, those kind of things. It's those things lads are that remember being on that little floating pontoon platform thing, bro? They're having a good time. Paced up early in the morning. Then everyone was like, everyone run away quick, quick and some other lots of swimming out to it.

00:42:01:09 – 00:42:19:03
And because my brain was floating there, everyone was like, don't, don't let them know it was us. So we had to dive back in and swim back to the beach. So that is, that's pure lads. You know, they have, you know, like I said, you know, like you've got short for makos and hammerheads and great whites around the Canary Islands.

00:42:19:09 – 00:42:40:23
Yeah, I know that. But at that time, you don't really think about that when you're up. Sydney. My first thing I'd think about, absolutely, without question, doesn't. Now I can be passed out and be aware how, fucking mental that he's going swimming at night, shitting in the sea that would no doubt attract animals as well. Yeah, I bet a few people piss in the sea as well.

00:42:40:23 – 00:42:58:17
Almost certainly pissed. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. Yeah. Chance to take urine. Just like that. Yeah. That is, I didn't think that at the time. All of all the thought about was let's do what everyone else does and go skinny dip in and and I need a poo. So I'll just do the poo now.

00:42:58:18 – 00:43:28:16
Yeah. I mean, fair enough. You probably did the right thing. Then we'll get eaten anyway. Lay it out now. So. Good. All good. Thank you very much, everybody that follows us on all social platforms. If you want to follow us and you don't already at lads Anon Pod, we're on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook threads, TikTok where everywhere. Come and give us a follow.

00:43:28:18 – 00:43:52:03
If you're on, if you listen to us on Spotify, please follow us. I know you've done the automatic downloads. I know you've done that. I really love us. But the followers of really, the really come down to please just give us a file. It just a podcast. No end of good. So if you just give us a follow, that'd be much appreciated.

00:43:52:05 – 00:44:30:21
Now we're going to go into the dilemmas or something I know you know. Yeah. And while, Flav shows up the titles for these the dilemmas is socks to sucking yet and put me down. I'll put you down and something only you know it's going to be the wrong kind of wet dream. And don't use shampoo so we're going to be doing those any second.

00:44:30:21 – 00:45:01:08
Okay, I've got it. I've got it. Ready. Ages go. Right. Okay. Okay. Sure. Shut up. Just. You got an issue for a tissue? You're a bit sad because I can will taste you. I can, in your soul, alone, in your flat. Please talk to Ricky a flat bed. Let that stress off your chest. Well, friend, you deserve to like your safe to get nice and warm between Ricky and then.

00:45:03:22 – 00:45:35:19
So set the scene. I've just left my job, and I'm on termination leave. Kind of like gardening leave, I suppose. Still being paid, but just at home, not working. I've been flogging dirty socks to this deviant gay bloke who found me via Navy Rugby. Well, there's a few these foot fetish geezers about, though I've had no drama with getting a bull's eye in my bank account for a pair of you socks, usually heavily soiled through my gym.

00:45:35:22 – 00:46:02:12
Rugby, football. However, how does someone find that attractive? Like. Well, it's not uncommon. I let's. So I'm gonna talk about this after I finish it. Okay? However, this one repeat customer has often requested a bit more like after the gym come in to pick the poison out. And yeah, and mucking up the socks marking at the same.

00:46:02:14 – 00:46:36:12
Fine. That's a ton. Cheers. Easy money. He's constantly said how he'd like to suck off a rugby guy. Now this is where I draw the line. I don't even know if I could perform with the knowledge of a 50 year old geezer going up my old boy like a tramp eating hot chips. Now this is my dilemma. Having a lot of building work at the house at the moment the original cost has doubled due to the first builder being a complete cunt.

00:46:36:14 – 00:46:59:22
I'm probably given a quote that was never achievable, so any cash I can get my hands on is more than handy. This in mind, as well as you boys chatting about how long I should probably just give each other twisties as a norm got me thinking so old boys missed me again about it. So our boys missed me again about socks.

00:46:59:22 – 00:47:33:01
Like clockwork. He said how he'd love to suck off a rugby guy. So this time, just out of interest, I thought he'd give me time for some sticky socks. I wonder what he'd offer to get around me. 500 pounds. So my dilemma is, is 500 pound enough of the boys. Have any tips to get me through it? So he's considering getting sucked off by some old guy for £500.

00:47:33:03 – 00:47:59:13
For £500? Firstly, we will take no responsibility for the situation you find yourself in. Yeah. Secondly, it wasn't twisting each other off. It's sucking each other. Yeah. Thirdly, how are we going to give you advice about how to get free? Something that none of us have experienced before? You say that with a glint in your eye. No, I've never, I've never.

00:47:59:15 – 00:48:34:08
I can categorically say I've never let a 50 year old man sack meal for £500. Yeah, I I'm almost certain that's never happened. So it's, I would say, can you not just get, like, a low interest loan from the bank? Yeah. And, I think my, my concerns about this is that it's building work that has, you know, doubled as a as he says, building work isn't cheap, like 500 pounds isn't going to put a dent.

00:48:34:13 – 00:49:01:15
This is a one off. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to have to do this about 50 times. Yeah. And what if he what if he turns up and goes, oh no, actually I don't really like your dick. Yeah. Then you've sold yourself for nothing. You. And also when you settle down in your loft extension or you extension or your loft conversion, you're just going to see the, the event every time you look around.

00:49:01:17 – 00:49:23:08
Yeah, yeah. If you've got like, a missus, does she know about this? But it's just you. Look, I'm not going to kink. Shame if you think you can handle it. And you want the £500 that badly, you're obviously halfway down that path already. Do it if you want. Actually do it. I want you to do it. I'll say up the money.

00:49:23:10 – 00:49:42:08
See how much you can get first. It doesn't sound like you've had good enough. Yeah. If it was 100 pound for jersey socks, 500 for a sock. Donkey. You need to. Yeah, you need to say. Well, no, I'm saying half the money. Did I say 40? 50? Yeah. Let's see what how much of a man you actually are.

00:49:42:10 – 00:50:00:03
You got you got a ballocks for this or not. So fucking around £500 is too much. 250 I minted, yeah, let us know. Get on with it and let us know. You go.

00:50:00:05 – 00:50:26:04
This next one's an interesting dilemma. Well, that one was an interesting note. What? I mean, it was. But, this is more real. This one. Okay, put me down. I'll put you down. I live in Thailand with my wife of 20 years. This isn't about her. Like she's loyal to a fault. We're avid gym goers. There are a lot of expats in our gyms.

00:50:26:06 – 00:50:47:03
I don't talk to them much. They've created a proper knitting circle in there. When I go in, I say good morning, but then it's headphones on. Yeah, I'm there to work out. They sit around chatting half of their time there. My wife has a lot of Thai friends in the gym, so she just just puts one headphone in and she's always chatting with the others.

00:50:48:11 – 00:51:11:21
Some of the expats chat with her because her English is amazing. They all like her. Recently, one guy overstepped the line. The first thing he did was put me down. He asked it if I was angry all the time because I had naturally an angry expression on my face. Oh, also he's doing. And of course, lifting weights while listening to heavy metal.

00:51:11:23 – 00:51:42:01
I see he's pulling. The next thing he did was compliment her, but he did it in a backhanded way. He told her that she knows she looks good, which she does, and that's why she wears what she wears in the gym. That's unacceptable. She wears tight fitting women's workout clothes like everyone else. She told me these conversations on the day they happen, and though my ears perked up, I was above it.

00:51:42:03 – 00:52:07:14
The latest thing he said said, though, is too much. He was talking about he'd been married for a long time. Like we have a maybe we could swap partners though. He made a joke of it. I know what he's doing. He's demeaning me, complimenting her. Yeah, and raising the question of my sex. Yep. Yes. My wife and I talked about it and decided to leave it.

00:52:07:19 – 00:52:27:07
But if he says anything else like that, I'll have a word with him. The problem is, I've got a temper. It can get loud very quickly. Yeah. Not a great trait in Thailand. Sometimes it is a and can end up looking like the bad guy. I know he has no path to get to my misses, but it's so disrespectful.

00:52:27:09 – 00:52:48:22
All of these chats have happened with me being in the gym. Yeah, at the same time, my wife and I don't even know his name say talking to her like that is way over the line. Yeah. Should I get involved now? Yeah, well, my wife can handle it herself. She's as tough as they come. I feel my manhood is in question.

00:52:48:24 – 00:53:10:09
Yeah, but there's only one gym in my town, and I don't want to get kicked out of it to starting something. Smash his face. At what point do I have to stand? Yeah, straight away. Those dumbbells. Yeah. Slide the plates off that, the the big metal pole. Yeah. I just smashing my fucking head into. He can't move anymore.

00:53:10:09 – 00:53:30:00
And when he's on the floor, stick it. He's probably. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was too much. The bumping, muttering name of fun. It did feel a bit too much. Yeah. That's what is happening is that is your ego. It's the male ego. It's that's what's being affected. Like, how dare he talk to her like that? How dare he?

00:53:30:02 – 00:53:48:10
What does he think of me? Does he think I'm less of a man than him? Because. And some people might not understand this, but it is almost like a built in instinct in men to not be demeaned by other men, especially when it comes to your other half in it's you can intellectualize it and work hard to make sure it doesn't affect you.

00:53:48:10 – 00:54:16:22
But it is a very carnal, very inbuilt imprinted masculine thing that no matter how considered you, you feel yourself to be, it's hard not to react to what that man's doing. And it doesn't matter that he doesn't have a chance, it's the fact that it's impacting you. So I completely understand why he feels the way you do.

00:54:16:22 – 00:54:40:11
I really, really do. And it's good to have a good relationship. Your wife, for 20 years in. Yeah. You know, it's it's not a case of undermining your relationship. It's the case that he feels like he can talk this way. The only way you can stop it is by. By, by talking to him directly or getting your wife to or doing it together.

00:54:40:11 – 00:54:55:09
But if you can't control your temper and like you say in Thailand, it's not a good look. If you start being violent and whatnot and like you say, you would get thrown out of the gym even if you're in the right. But if your wife says, look, this is really inappropriate for you to talk to me like this.

00:54:55:09 – 00:55:17:05
You're making me feel super uncomfortable. Like like like that in this modern era where and a positive era when women are listened to in this respect and they are being protected more and more in the gym, they're made to feel uncomfortable. That's Porgie Masticate then you should have that word. You should get her to have that word and you can be with her.

00:55:17:07 – 00:55:35:05
If all else fails, you'd have to talk to him and try and keep your temper and check. But this is what I'm talking about. You talked about this so many times, Ricky. You could. Why is it that you're just getting on with your life? Everybody, you just get on with life. You found a wife or a partner or a boyfriend or whatever it might be.

00:55:35:07 – 00:55:52:23
You got your kids or whatever it might be. You got a job you like, whatever it is, and you're content and you're happy, and there will always be some cunt who wants to come and shit on your doorstep. You haven't asked for it. They just arrive out of nowhere, ready to fuck shit up for you. Why does this happen?

00:55:53:00 – 00:56:09:12
Why all aspects of an answer, right? I'm just saying I don't. It's so frustrating. Why I so it's happened to me 5 or 6 times in my life and I'm like, what are you doing in my life? Why? Why are you now an issue for me? Why do I have to deal with you? Are you referring about me?

00:56:09:12 – 00:56:41:04
Yeah, directly looking at you, you know, why do I have to deal with you know. And most of the time, you can get it out because it's such a draining thing. Really? Yeah. I mean, this guy is. I would really, for me personally, I would really take it as an affront that this person is disrespect to me. And it's clearly like a power situation as to, you know, I have him as the alpha male and you as yes to be an imbecile.

00:56:41:18 – 00:57:05:20
And the the guy is an absolute knob. What I would try and do is I would try, personally to be in those conversations when they're, when they're having a chat and not having my headphones on. And, you know, when you can see them all having a chat, just walk up and just join in the conversation and kind of slap you down, but in a way that you know exactly, exactly, exactly monkey territory.

00:57:05:20 – 00:57:24:22
Stand there, folded arms, give her a cuddle. If she wants to. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Or on the ass. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. She likes it. Or like, whispers something in there is, you know she's giggling or something like that. And then he'll be beat. His nose would be right. Fucking. Yeah I'll stand off. Yeah. That's it can be.

00:57:24:24 – 00:57:40:13
That's a great way to deal with it. Ricky's going to be affectionate to her while they're talking. Yeah. Just to say like, this is such a cock in you like up and piss in. That's what you then? Yeah, exactly. You carry on a chat, mate, but you know, and explain that. Make sure it speak to talk to the wife beforehand.

00:57:40:13 – 00:57:56:23
Say to look, if he does it again don't mean I'm going to do. I'm just gonna come in and and then we gonna give you a kiss on the neck. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't so sorry. Victorian traditional. No, it feels a bit weird that it's like, you know, in this day and age that way.

00:57:56:23 – 00:58:16:17
And, like, as men, you're marking your territory over your wife, you know? I mean, yeah, in a gym, it's fucking is one step is everywhere. It you have to know to people and they have to be put back in line. It's a bitch. All line steps. Yeah I cannot I cannot tolerate that disrespect. So whenever. So I'm quite bad for this.

00:58:16:17 – 00:58:35:14
But whenever, if we've been not with that this doesn't happen anymore because me and my wife don't really go clubbing or that, or in a bar or anything where she's left alone too much. But there's been a couple of occasions, you know, relationship where I've gone to the bar, go to the toilet, went out for a fag, talking to someone, come back in as a man, talking to my wife.

00:58:35:16 – 00:58:54:13
Oh, God. And it's cool because it's if if a woman is on her own and she looks like she's friendly and Ollie's super friendly, right? She'll talk to anyone. It's almost to the point where it feels like. And she's not she's sort of world wise, but it's almost like, I don't know, whatever it is, she's just she's polite, right?

00:58:54:15 – 00:59:19:01
And sometimes politeness is taken for an example that they're open. Yeah. And, so I've just I've blown away deal of it. You just go over and go, all right, love us. Yeah. And give her a kiss and then shake the guys hand and that's it. Then generally done. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Most mostly the bloke doesn't know or doesn't realize and is actually trying to swoop but doesn't realize as a, as an alien.

00:59:19:01 – 00:59:40:04
So I just, I grab an ashtray from the side and blindside him, smash him in the face and keep going. And then and then my message is like, he's a work colleague. He's a work colleague. We just bumped into each other. I'm not fucking take that title. You and, don't look her in the eye. Really. I have right.

00:59:40:07 – 01:00:11:24
We're going to go into something only you know, and that's the titles now which go into it. Then give us the titles. Just don't do it the wrong time, the wrong kind, the wrong kind of wet dream. And don't use shampoo when something ugly, you know. The wrong kind of wet dream. Something on, you know the I have the comes a perfect time for lads holidays.

01:00:12:01 – 01:00:37:21
Good timing. My mates and I took a trip to Toronto, Canada with the sole purpose of getting pissed up big from America and the drinking age. Being 21 here, we decided to take a drive to Canada since the drinking age was 1841. A good mate of mine decided to invite one of his mates that nobody else in our friendship group got on with.

01:00:37:23 – 01:01:06:23
After two nights of heavy drinking and him making numerous ladies very uncomfortable at a club we were at, I decided that while he and everyone else was passed out drunk, I was going to have a wee on his crotch area to make it look like he pissed himself. Needless to say, the rest of the trip the rest of the lads made fun of him relentlessly, having spoken to him since, and I don't think I haven't spoken to him since.

01:01:07:04 – 01:01:31:04
And I don't think my mate who invite him has either. Deep down, I don't think it was the fact that he had pissed himself that made my mate not want to speak to him anymore, but his actions while out clubbing showed his true self and that is something only he knows. So I have a question here.

01:01:31:06 – 01:01:54:16
If I was going to make my mate look like he'd pissed himself or anyone okay, get cut, get a glass of water and just pour it on there. She's in it. Yeah. Maybe he really wanted so. Well, since he needed the urine. Yeah. And also, this story sounds like at the end. Is it really? Although I did this thing and no one spoke to this guy.

01:01:54:16 – 01:02:17:18
I don't think it was really about me pissing on these jeans is really about how he acted. Yeah. So I don't know, I think I mean, it's a bit too much. I think. Yeah. I like if you are. Yeah. Pissing on another man's fishing on another human is is it. Was he in the genes? We must have been okay.

01:02:17:19 – 01:02:44:03
Yeah. Just imagine it's not. The genes are slung over a chair in the corner of his room, and you're just lashing all over it. That's madness. Absolute madness. The next one. Don't you shampoo. Back in the Covid lockdowns, I was still in secondary school. Bloody hell. Having recently hit puberty soon before Covid began. Oh, this is what I'm young is.

01:02:44:03 – 01:03:13:23
This is what's going on. I found myself averaging around 505 times x w expecting once a day. Five yeah, it should be noted this was more out of boredom than horniness. Literally had nothing else to do. I've always found it very difficult to choke the turkey without some form of lubricant, which ultimately resulted in me getting through my lotion particularly quickly.

01:03:14:00 – 01:03:41:23
On one occasion, I found myself a wank three of the morning. No regeneration either, and having run out of lotion, incredibly smart 14 year old self decided it'd be suitable to use the best alternative. I had a bottle of Head and Shoulders, 2 in 1 shampoo. I feel sure no issue with this. And whilst it was not the usual method, I dealt with my business and went about my day.

01:03:42:00 – 01:04:06:13
It was only the next morning that I realized I'd made a mistake. Throughout the morning I had a stream itching in my groin area which passed off as the usual bull. Scratching this, it got to the point by where my boys were each in their own fire, and I had to take a look in the mirror to see that my skin on my Johnson was raw and peeling.

01:04:06:15 – 01:04:34:11
To be honest, it just looked disappointed at me. Take two took a day to get better and was not particularly fun. It's a long story short. Never attempt to shampoo as a ball lubricant again. Cheers again. Loving the part. Poor lubricant. What is going on here? Yeah. So lubricate these balls. Were knocking one out. I don't know, we really talked about 14 year old boy at least.

01:04:34:11 – 01:05:00:23
And he said when this happened when he was 14. Yeah. Hey look shoulders like I don't I don't like to take it. Yeah I don't want to focus on this. I don't want to think about a 14 year old boy masturbating. Right. Let's leave that there. Right. Okay. What I will just quickly say is the skin most likely wasn't to do with shampoo because shampoo is designed, essentially tested to be on the body.

01:05:01:00 – 01:05:19:16
It's more likely to. You're abusing yourself constantly, every day. That's much more likely. Yeah, not the fact that you all made a mistake with head and shoulders. You made a mistake of pulling the plunger five times a day. Five times? Yeah. That's all. That's the problem that head and shoulders know what I'm doing.

01:05:19:18 – 01:05:32:11
And that's the end of something only you know. This week. Something ugly. You know.

01:05:32:13 – 01:06:02:10
Topic next week. Guess what the topic is for next week? Parenting. You fucking know it, boy. I've said it about five times. I know, I know, it's more. It is parenting, but it's more to do with the dads this week. Okay, I've got it next week. So the couple of things I would like to hear from the dads, from the stepdad, from the role models, from just being in someone's life, whoever it might be.

01:06:02:10 – 01:06:22:22
The things I want to hear from, it's the things that people take for granted that nobody else gives you a pat on the back for all those tiny little things, like for instance, if I cook a cabin, I'll take the dry end bits of the joint a gallon and I'll eat that and the rest of my family. Nice.

01:06:22:24 – 01:06:42:13
Succulent. Juicy. That's really nice of you, Rick. But you want them to know that you're doing that. Yeah, I but you know what if I, if I, if I say to people or if I say to my missus, oh I did this and I think that she'll look at me. Do you want a fucking medal. Do you. But that's not the way I so say no.

01:06:42:13 – 01:07:02:06
So I want you if if your family or your people don't even care about the stuff. Yeah, we do. We we want to honor you. Yeah, but that's just as the role models. This is your chance to get it off your chest. And just to say, do you know what? I'm making sandwiches in the morning. We've not got enough bread.

01:07:02:06 – 01:07:18:13
And I have to have the end bits of bread for my sandwich. Although I eat a big thing. Yeah, your sandwich is more than theirs. But you took that. You took that on the chest that. We're proud of you. We're proud of you. We're going to celebrate you. We're going to celebrate you and all the other things as well.

01:07:18:13 – 01:07:50:19
The pressures of being a father, whether that is talking about it's a traditional family set up and you are the breadwinner, whether you are, whatever it might be, just the pressures of just being a dad. I think people would be upset. Eric. Yeah, yeah, yeah, completely. If you, send anything that you have in to lads and on board at gmail.com, and we will feature everything in next week's pot.

01:07:50:21 – 01:07:55:22
Thank you very much. Thank you for listening. And we will see you next Monday. Cheers.