#24 | Embarrassment, Embarrassing and icks | Top tier embarrassing stories coming your way!

00:00:00:00 – 00:00:38:20
On the night. Hazy light. Band of brothers. Playing tunes. High as quiet. Midnight waves. Surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm. Hit us different ways. Love of music. We prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band aside, we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers. Hello and welcome to lads Anonymous is episode 24, a podcast with two best mates of over 20 years invite you to join their safe space where all manner of subjects will be discussed.

00:00:38:22 – 00:01:02:23
We'll focus on a specific subject matter first and then answer your questions, dilemmas or need for advice or handled anonymously. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast. How's it going, mate? Yeah. It's good. Everything's good. I hear we've got a belting something I only, you know, we have we have at the end. You'll have to wait until the end.

00:01:03:04 – 00:01:34:07
This is this is the one was going to be on last week's episode, but it was too good. That's right. And there was a relative voice note, I think, from, from our show that we did last week, which focused on ghosts and the supernatural. Honestly, mate, I don't think we've had as many emails, DMs and social engagement as the ghosts and Supernatural episode is definitely going to be an episode that will revisit later on.

00:01:34:07 – 00:02:01:14
We can go back and do, We'll go through what people have sent in. There's a there's enough there. I'll make this fucking loud. I cannot believe how many people we were talking and we were saying, don't really believe it. There are, you know, everything can be explained to some degree. And it was a bit like, I am a nonbeliever at the amount of emails and stuff that we've had.

00:02:01:16 – 00:02:31:24
Surely, surely there's something for so many people email us that there's gotta be. No, everyone can't be having the same experiences. Right? Okay, I, I'm going to put stuff down to sleep paralysis. I think that there was a lot of stories where I would sleep a it's got people. Yes, they're having their little sneeze, the cold temperature in rooms dropping or just being in cold rooms again, that could probably be explained.

00:02:32:01 – 00:03:01:02
Weight on the legs. A lot of people have said about that. When, when, when, when ghosts are there and visions connected to people, whether it's relatives that have passed away or people that have known that we lived in the house previously. Well, my, my, that vision stuff, especially of relatives that passed away. It isn't it isn't more likely than than the ghost come in to say hello.

00:03:01:02 – 00:03:20:11
Isn't it more likely that your brain is projecting something you want to see? Even then, that in itself is a bit mental and bit weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my, my my cousin I've, I've talked about this before, but my cousin was killed when he was 17 in a street fight and his grandad was they used to go fishing together a lot nice.

00:03:20:17 – 00:03:44:13
And across the pond or lake or whatever you want to call it. He saw Andrew on the other side and he waved to him. But to me that's a man. Grandfather. In extreme grief and his brain just doing something rather than it being that a ghost. I said, that's sad man. Yeah, it's sad with the whole fight.

00:03:44:13 – 00:04:08:14
Obviously it was a very sad time, but yeah, but look, the fact is, regardless of all of people's experiences and it's really interesting. Good to talk about it. There's been no proof ever. No, there has been no one anywhere that can prove that is real. Ever. I know that that's the thing that gets me there, is that there are so many things, emails that we've been sent in, but there is no hard evidence.

00:04:08:14 – 00:04:26:20
Let's so let's do an episode because we need to pre-record some stuff for you for when you go away. Let's do an episode where we just go back through those emails and see if any of them we can't explain away. Not that we're aiming to, but as two cynics will look through these emails and go, yeah, I can't explain that.

00:04:26:22 – 00:04:49:06
I like the one that happens to me. I can't explain the, like I was this well, the the amount of, stories that we've had, this always happens, right. I'll go on social and I'll say during the week we're going to be speaking about this in Fridays recording. And then during the previous part I'll say this is the topic.

00:04:49:08 – 00:05:08:13
Let me get a handful of stories in a couple of weeks. Nice. And then we'll build the pod around that the week after when everyone's listened, then they send everything in there because the need for the show, no, I know it. But they, you know, they I know that listening to the pod and sort of I know that you can't just go right now, give us all the stuff we need for the podcast.

00:05:08:16 – 00:05:35:23
I but that we can't do bonus episodes and we should. So yeah, well, 100%. Let's record one of those. So now we're saying about disbelieving, there is a voice note that we were sent in about a little ghosty that has been visiting someone, and flab is going to play that now. Hello lads. I hope you both good or I don't know, dear.

00:05:36:00 – 00:06:00:01
I know you want you to stories. You know of any kind of creepy or paranormal experiences that people may have had. And I've got one. I wanted to send them because it happened extremely recently. Talking within the last few days. So live with my missus. We've got two young boys. One's free. One, one. So the other night where I've got them in the bath, normal bath time.

00:06:00:03 – 00:06:23:17
Take them out. Pajamas, bed done for the evening, that kind of thing. Nothing strange happens. Nothing at the ordinary at all. No more evening. Go to bed. Whatever. Next morning, I wake up, go back to go into the bathroom and, The bath tub is completely full, almost to the brim, to the point where it looks like someone's purposely done it.

00:06:23:17 – 00:06:44:20
And then stopped it just before it's overflowed. Right now, I know we let the the tap, the plug out the night before, after the boys at their bath. Because my three year old makes a point of wanting to be the one to do it right. So I know he's done that. If he hadn't had done that, and he just said he had, then one.

00:06:44:22 – 00:06:59:13
The tap won't run in, the tap won't leak in all night. So why the fuck's it so full when we do the bar for the kids? It's you know, people will know if they've got young children. You do it literally ankle height, maybe a little bit above the ankle if you were to step in. Right. So it's shallow as fuck.

00:06:59:15 – 00:07:20:02
So even if we hadn't had undone the the plug the night before without the taps running, why the fox. It's so full. Right. I've spokesman this about this, by the way. Neither of us are massive believers in ghosts. I'm not really at all. And I still don't think I am right. But since then I've been racking my brains as to how the fuck this has happened.

00:07:20:04 – 00:07:35:22
It's so fucking odd and, the only thing I could think of, which I suggested to my partner, is has one of us slept, walked in the night and done it? Neither of us got a history of sleepwalking at all. Been would have ten years. I don't remember, however, doing that, she says. I've never done it, so it's highly unlikely.

00:07:35:24 – 00:07:54:09
So I don't know if it's ghosts. I don't know if some weird blokes come into the house and run the bath himself and then fucked off, before I send it for you. And you can let me know what you guys think. Yep. It's going to get the whole. Yeah. Just, just throw yourself out a window. You might as well.

00:07:54:09 – 00:08:20:01
It's, How how do you explain that? I've tried to think in my mind what's happened here, and I can't lie. And and I spoke to I spoke to the person as well, and I was like, assuming that they're in a Victorian old house. New house? It's a new house. It's a new house. So how how the ghost exist in a new house?

00:08:20:03 – 00:08:45:16
I don't know, maybe followed them. Then you say they're never going to escape it. They'll never escape it. I said I'd like to have their bathtub filled up. Fucking done it again. He's done it again. My excuse. My what? I would my question would be, can the three year old reach the taps? If they can. I'm almost certain it's that the three year old got up and done it.

00:08:45:18 – 00:09:02:09
That's that's. I hadn't thought of that. That would if I was trying to be cynical, but, like, I don't even know when I was listening, I was gonna it's creepy that it's creepy, but my, my guess would be that it would. The three year old would go up during the night at any time it could have happened. They don't understand what's going on at three.

00:09:02:09 – 00:09:22:05
Really? Do I mean what the. I know I should be in bed, but I quite like the fact that he likes to, like he likes to. Yeah, he likes playing with the bath associates that were playtime. My guess is that the the the boys or the girl is gone. Gone back and filled it up. And when it's got to the brim that that would be a game in itself.

00:09:22:06 – 00:09:43:03
That that's logical. That's logical. Because my thought was, home Alone the the Wet Bandits, the signature move. They've been in their house. There's been some home line shit going on when they weren't there. So. But yeah, all the stuff, all the voice nights and the stories that you guys have sent in for that we will revisit this subject at a later.

00:09:43:03 – 00:10:06:08
It's a bit more, more voice notes as well. They might. Yeah, they are more voice notes on ghosts. Fucking mental. It's really, really touched a nerve, this one. Right before we jump into the show today, what am I going to say? Flash? I don't know. Spotify follows. Yeah. All right, let's let him go. Leaving beaner. It was at 820 was it?

00:10:06:08 – 00:10:27:13
I'm now 884. That's an increase of 60 for us. All right Stan, that's great. Yeah. Great. You know what? Just so we're so close to 5000. 7000. Author thousand. We'll stop asking you. Great. Rick, stop, stop. We'll stop. So just imagine if we do, like, three more episodes. I've not done the maths, and we get 64 each time.

00:10:27:15 – 00:10:43:10
And I will be at a thousand and will never mention again. We'll never mention it again. Because you never have to hear me do this again. Because what happens, Ricky, is, is when we kiss a thousand, you stop seeing it go up. You just says one, and that looks great. Anyone coming together? What's this? Let's not do this.

00:10:43:14 – 00:11:04:07
1000 people liked it. Five stars. Fucking bosh. Yeah, exactly. So all you have to do is go on Spotify. So what you see, lads? Anonymous. You see a bell icon, then you'll see a cog icon where you can all download. Then you see the three dots. Hit those three dots, it says, right show hit five stars and that's it.

00:11:04:07 – 00:11:20:19
It's going to take what, 20 30s out your day. So please go and do that. It would help us if we if I was this I'll go fuck. Fuck this. I'm not doing this right. That that is not that is not the energy of the idea. I fuck these guys. I like that I don't even think they know.

00:11:20:19 – 00:11:55:24
No clue. They fucking clue. The subject for today is embarrassed, embarrassing and X, right? So I will go into what the dictionary says about the word embarrassing. Embarrassment or awkwardness is an emotional state that is associated with mild to severe levels of discomfort, and which is usually experienced when someone commits a socially unacceptable or frowned upon act that is witnessed by or revealed to others.

00:11:55:24 – 00:12:18:18
So the, the lass that put forward this topic and I think you you may remember last week I said about lads and lasses, what is everyone to be called? She actually wrote back when she wasn't. What she wasn't lass is fine, but a bit northern for a Cornish maid. That's what women are called here in Cornwall.

00:12:18:21 – 00:12:39:11
Maid. Not as bad as it sounds. Shortened version of maiden. Yeah, but the night I last. What they are now. I didn't know that. That's. That is quite interesting. Yeah, they are a bit mad down there in the south west. Yeah, they're lovely though. People generally quite quiet kind down there. I think it's because they don't have the pressures of the city.

00:12:39:13 – 00:12:58:08
They can just frolic around in fields and look at cows in that. So it just makes them all round nice people. But but the thing is, why last works because it just fits with lads, but lasses and northern, I'd never call my misses a lass, ever. If I was northern, I probably would. Yeah. Do you know what annoys me about.

00:12:58:08 – 00:13:17:07
I've got it for you, Ricky. Right. Okay, we'll go into that. Oh, do you want to do what? For me? What? Mike. Yeah. Mike. Because it fits what you just said. Right, guys? Mike. For you is sometimes you'll put in WhatsApp. I aui for. Yes. We don't say that in the South that we've never said that in the South.

00:13:17:11 – 00:13:37:05
I yeah I, I that's a I is in. Yes. We don't fucking do that in the south. Up north they do little northern monkeys up there. They do, they do that. Yeah. That's fine. That's theirs. Or you do this as well. It's fucking does my editors I know I do. Let me guess what I think you're going to send them.

00:13:37:07 – 00:14:01:11
Is it. I haven't done it for ages because I could sense it. Good la yes. That is nothing to do with us. That is nothing to do of us. But if you're from I. I've only heard that from people, from people in, in in, from Liverpool. Yeah. Specific to that region. And we might have you might creeped out to other areas, but la, it's just like that.

00:14:01:11 – 00:14:25:09
Yeah. There's nothing in it. Yeah. It's it's LA la. Oh. It's, there's the says let them have it. Don't just because you're in WhatsApp start fucking nicking other people's, you know, vernaculars. Yeah. All right find LA and let's have one. I, yeah. Okay. This used to warm you up from back in the old message board days.

00:14:25:11 – 00:14:39:22
I remember, I remember, but then not just you. Others would do it as well. I'm not. You're not fucking from the North. If we were speaking in person, you wouldn't write I. You wouldn't, because a lot of the, the Northern Irish man would be. Well, I want to, you know, I it to be in with it. No.

00:14:39:24 – 00:15:04:12
Oh hey they would if you there. That's down to your personality, Ricky. Not who's using their fucking language. Right. Would you go over to the States and start talking in using slang? Y'all. Y'all y'all. Hey, yo, you wouldn't go over there and start talking in the same way that, you know, doing what Drake does, who just comes in and just sucks from different cultures and just tries to put it out.

00:15:04:12 – 00:15:30:18
You essentially a Drake podcast and I will double down. I don't, you know. Yeah, the bad stuff, all the bad stuff. If I, if I went to America a proper double down on my Britishness. Do you know what. Yeah, they love it. Yeah. I'd wear a monocle. Top hat. I've heard it on good authority. I've had this on good authority that if you're a man and you're English, essentially sex is just there on top, right?

00:15:30:18 – 00:16:03:18
Okay. I've heard that. America. Okay. But no, we're not. No, we're happily married. It's too late now. I know if any anyone wants to travel, go to America. Apparently, English means sex. I've heard. So I'm going to kick it off with embarrassing stories. Right? And there's two that live in my mind. Rent free from when I was, let's say, ages of 9 to 12.

00:16:03:20 – 00:16:32:00
And I'm 41 now, and I still remember the like it was fucking yesterday. My next door neighbor, he got a job in Japan and he was moving to Japan, and I was having a conversation with the adults down the street and was saying that my neighbor is moving to Japan. Yeah. And I didn't know where he was moving to Tokyo like that.

00:16:32:01 – 00:16:45:10
He's he's never been there before. And then for the next couple of minutes, I was saying to them that he doesn't know how to speak Japan ish. I.

00:16:45:12 – 00:17:06:06
And it's not until a few years later I found out it was just. You just said Japanese. Yeah, but you nine. I know, but it lives in my mind. Japan, I was Japanese, no one said Japanese. In the history of humanity, you know. And only person I know. And I remember being in, you know, where I used to live to my last church street.

00:17:06:06 – 00:17:29:10
Remember everything. Anyone and everyone that was there. Japan ish. What must I have been thinking? I've got one. When I was the same age as you, Ricky. But it was at the football. And you know this ain't you Tottenham. I don't know, actually. I think you would. I've definitely talked to you about Tottenham. Tottenham are playing Leeds and my, my cousin was in town and I took him to the football.

00:17:29:10 – 00:17:54:18
My dad went as well. We won four nil. Teddy Sheringham scored the it doesn't matter. Right. So the so people that have been to football grounds when the anywhere but football grounds in particular in the kind of 90s they're very crammed in, everyone's standing. You can hear conversations constantly. So whatever you say, the 100 people around you can hear you.

00:17:54:20 – 00:18:19:19
Yeah. In England we have something called promotion and relegation in leagues. Yeah. And I screamed out they were saying something. We're going to win the league or something like that. We go and I said, the only thing you're going to win is promotion, which is a good thing. And everyone around me definitely saw that and never went, what?

00:18:19:20 – 00:18:41:13
I knew what I'd done. Let's and luckily so small could sink in the crowd. But there's nowhere for you to go. You're now known for the next 80 minutes. Is the kid who said that, and I remember that vividly. And you want to belong. You have to know what you're talking about. But there would have been people that gone back to the pub as well after from it.

00:18:41:13 – 00:19:06:23
Do you remember that fucking weird little kid that kept shouting, oh, are you going to win this fucking promotion thing? Keep shouting. I knew I'd made a mistake. Yeah. It's horrible. There was another time as well that this involves one of one of the gooners, and I'll be interested to see if they remember this, because I'm not going to say which was the gooners that listen to the book, my mates that listen to this pod.

00:19:07:00 – 00:19:27:06
And we used to play football down at this industrial estate, and for some reason there was this grass area that was reserved for a football pitch. And I think it was just for the the workers, the local workers could go and play there, but no one ever played them. We found this pitch, so we would cycle there every day to go and play football.

00:19:27:08 – 00:19:54:16
And on the way back I was cycling and I was chatting to my mate on the right and he said, what do you think about X today? He was a bit a bit ramped up and I was like, we was fucking shouting, screaming. And during World Cup doubles, he kept saying this and he kept booting the ball really hard and he was getting really aggy and blah blah blah blah blah.

00:19:54:18 – 00:20:15:11
And then I just heard a voice saying, oh, really? Ricky? He was on my left hand side level with me, and I think the guy to my right said it because he knew that person was on the left, so he wanted you to say maybe he just thought, well, I quite yeah, yeah, that's quite right. No we didn't.

00:20:15:11 – 00:20:39:12
I was just deeply wounded, embarrassed, kind of tried to cycle on in front the spot that lives with me, that that's another thing that I. That's a whole. So there's this feeling, isn't there, when you remember embarrassing things that you've done and you make this noise and I, I'll go I'll remember things that I've done. Might be happened yesterday, might be happened a year ago.

00:20:39:12 – 00:21:07:00
And I'll go oh, oh oh record kernel audio figured out. You fucking idiot. Why did you say that so, so many times? But that thing about slagging, slacking off people like that, it's like a human trait. Yeah, yeah. Often it's there's a difference between just having a chat about someone behind their backs is pretty normal. If it's your character, if that's the center of what you do.

00:21:07:02 – 00:21:26:14
Yeah, then it's a problem. Everybody talks about other people all the time, because those people are the things you have in common. And it might be saying something really positive. You might be saying something negative, it might be something that you find communally funny, whatever it is. But there are people out there who are is, defines their character, then known as that person that does that.

00:21:26:16 – 00:21:49:04
And they're everywhere. Those people. Yeah. And if you cut them out though that they're cancerous for sure. I was on a different I was at my daughter's last sports day yesterday, and my Mrs. is a teaching assistant at the school. Both my kids went to this school, so everyone kind of knows them. And when I went.

00:21:49:04 – 00:22:13:22
So when, when these events happen and because people know who I am and who I'm connected to, I like to try and keep myself away from anyone and everyone. What do you mean is, what do you mean? What do you mean by that? Because. Because they know who like. Because they know that my missus is teaching. They want to talk to me about the school I see other parents and about other people's kids.

00:22:13:22 – 00:22:32:06
They want to chat. They want the class. Yeah, yeah, they want they want the gossip. Is there quite a lot of gossip in these? Cause my honestly, I was there for five minutes and I just wanted to miss my daughter's sports. I I'm okay. What is okay to hear that? You can hear people. Yeah. Like those groups of people.

00:22:32:06 – 00:22:49:15
And they're all, like, talking about other people's kids and they're like, why did you hear what happened to her? And did you hear what happened to him? And, God, look at that kid over there. Look at his behavior. I'd be so embarrassed if I was that parent. Look at that little boy. Look what trainers he's turned up with.

00:22:49:21 – 00:23:15:15
How long it was just like this talking shop of parents slacking off, other parents slacking off kids. I don't like the kids. Yeah, I like the teachers. Right. The teachers had, like, done, a line for the sack race. And I heard one of them say, oh, that line isn't even straight. I could do a better job. Smooth stay for ten year olds, man.

00:23:15:15 – 00:23:38:22
You've thinking out teachers got none of them. This is like it was. Yeah, it leaves me feeling very uncomfortable. Yeah, I find that. I find that I feel very uncomfortable in those. Wait, where people are like the other kids I know. To be fair, I do. Sometimes I look at that like, oh, there'll be a kid. Like said, there was this kid.

00:23:38:22 – 00:23:59:04
I was got some breakfast yesterday. And what do you have for breakfast? Poached. Potty poached, some sort of approaches. And there's this kid right there was. So I was sitting outside and there was. And I'm just talking about behavior of kids. And usually I'm like, oh, you know, they're just kids. This kid, I want to fucking throw through a window.

00:23:59:06 – 00:24:15:13
And he doesn't do anything wrong. You've just to, to into what he was supposed to be doing. I don't know. The extent was that the family was sitting outside and the mum was ordering inside and they was just using this kid as a runner to get information. And I was sitting right by him like, oh, do you want double bacon?

00:24:15:15 – 00:24:25:09
Oh, she won't catch up with that. And he's been coming to the door and he screamed the question and then screaming the back of his mum I want to fucking kill his kid.

00:24:25:11 – 00:24:27:24
By the way.

00:24:28:01 – 00:24:36:20
In in school again to talking about schools. I think we, I'll just go onto this next bit.

00:24:36:22 – 00:25:08:09
Is there a time that you remember your most embarrassing thing at school? Now you will. You will know mine. And people whine, oh, this is the for for for any new listeners or anyone that doesn't know this story, I will enlighten you to my most embarrassing. Maybe this is my most embarrassing time in my life. And if you if you if you had to give this this story a title, what would that be?

00:25:08:11 – 00:25:36:10
You will will feel that in afterwards. You can tell that that's, You twat. When I was younger, I had my mates where they lived, or it was a particular mate. There was about 15 to 20 streets that when they would pay their mortgage, they would pay an extra bit into this pot. Now, this pot paid for a private leisure center on the estate.

00:25:36:12 – 00:25:57:04
In the leisure center, there was, you know, badminton, squash courts. There was a swimming pool, jacuzzi, a gym area, and like a kitchen area where you can do, like barbecues and patios and stuff like that wasn't massive, but it was decent. I know he needed was a swipe card to get and there was no CCTV, there was no nothing.

00:25:57:06 – 00:26:23:15
So when I was about maybe 13 or 14, we decided it would be a great idea if we bought loads of booze, got all our mates down there, invite all the girls from school, we all get pissed up together. You know how it goes. That was the plan. Was. Was your plan to crack on? Maybe. Yeah, yeah yeah, maybe.

00:26:23:15 – 00:26:47:23
Yeah, yeah. Start lips ago. Lips ago. Made me tear up over the jump over the jump, over the jump. Yeah yeah yeah for sure for sure. What happened. And we got someone's uncle to buy us, loads of bottles of two liters of white lightning. For some reason, someone also turned up with a bottle of whiskey, and it was like Scotch whiskey.

00:26:48:00 – 00:27:11:14
Like. And, I mean, it doesn't matter what whiskey at that age. You might get a fucking enjoy it anyway. Just a single double malt, you know? I mean, and peaty is. This makes it easy for me. Oh, this is quite smooth. That's in Africa with this. Yeah. So we went swimming. We were drinking this white light, white light, and we all went swimming.

00:27:11:16 – 00:27:39:24
The cows were meeting us later. And as the night progressed, we all came out of the pool. We were all absolutely paralytic. And I mean, like all of us that were there were so gone we were fucked. And then the girls had turned up and they were waiting for us to let them in. And someone let them in and they said that they came in.

00:27:39:24 – 00:28:04:16
Two of my mates were on their hands and knees, just being sick on the floor, like just that, being in their swimming trunks, just being sick on the floor. And then they were called round to a corner to the kitchen area where I was slumped. I was unconscious, I'd been sick all over the floor.

00:28:04:18 – 00:28:38:04
I'd pissed myself, and at this point that there was some kids from the older year that were walking past, and they beckoned them in to help them out because we were all just being sick everywhere. Incredible. And said, help me out. You know, there was sick everywhere where I was lying unconscious. I pissed myself out of there. And as they were lifted me up off the floor, they'd realize that shit myself and so I'd done that.

00:28:38:04 – 00:29:06:08
The the Holy Trinity and when you like 1314, that doesn't really go down that well at school, parents were called. Everyone had. Everyone's parents had to be cold and come and collect their children. I was rushed to hospital. They because it was something like my blood sugar level was low because I'd been swimming. I was just in trunks that to cut me out of my shitty trunks, and they had to kind of raise my sugar level.

00:29:06:08 – 00:29:37:13
I don't exactly know what happened, but they couldn't pump my stomach. But that wasn't the story that went round school. I had my stomach pumped in that for the record, anyone listening? But after that, going to school for the next few years was generally greeted with, you know, like in America, we have lockers, right? Yeah. And in a kind of stereotypical film, the nerd is at the locker, shuts the locker, and then the school bully is there.

00:29:37:17 – 00:29:55:24
I'm going to get you off to school, whatever. Most of the time I'd be picking stuff in my locker. I'd shut my locker and someone's face would be there and go, fuck, you know, it smells a shit round it. Oh, God, that must. When I walked into the caf, cafeteria. Go. Can anyone smell anything? Smells a bit shitty round there.

00:29:56:01 – 00:30:16:17
I didn't know this. Yeah, it was, it was rank and and, you know, so that was the most embarrassing time. And people that I went to school with years above, years below, people that I see out now, they they remember it. So that is the most embarrassing. So it still comes up, still comes up, still comes up.

00:30:16:17 – 00:30:42:21
And then, I make it mine used to work for, a magazine in north London. Why don't you take the story over from here? Flat? Well, yeah. So we we. I used to write, we used to work on a magazine, editor, magazine, and sometimes within the magazine, you'd have a supplement, so you'd have 7 or 8, 12, 16 pages dedicated to a specific subject.

00:30:42:23 – 00:31:00:07
And one of them was on misuse and alcohol on young people. And I thought, what a great thing to do would get Ricky to tell that story, write it down and we'll publish it. So Ricky gave me the story more or less what I think we left out a few bits, but more or less what what Ricky had said.

00:31:00:09 – 00:31:24:12
But obviously once I had the the word for, I could do whatever I wanted to. The words. And there's nothing Ricky could do about it. So we just created a, a name, a name, a nickname that went round Ricky Skull, allegedly was Ricky was forever known as Pissy Pants Beer Boy that was published in the magazine. It's still My name is still on the internet.

00:31:24:12 – 00:31:43:02
You can find it. Pissy pants. Beer boy. For fuck's sake, man, it's the shit, to be fair. Yeah, yeah. No, that is that is very, very kind of you. Tell me about the shit. I didn't know you shit yourself. That is bad. That's worse. You didn't know I shit myself. I don't think so. I think I'm going to block that bit out.

00:31:43:03 – 00:32:11:19
But can I just say this is a great lesson to parents? Listen to this. If you have. If you have kids. Yeah, right. There's there's there's nothing there's nothing to be gained from assuming that the kids will just be fine because you don't wanna have a conversation about drugs, sex and alcohol. So my advice as much as for what it's worth, is you have to teach kids about drinking and you have to teach them about alcohol.

00:32:11:19 – 00:32:34:15
Just because it's bad for them, it doesn't mean they're not going to do it. They are going to do it. They can experiment drugs, especially alcohol, especially when Ricky was in a situation where he made all of the wrong decisions. And so many people do. The first time, they get pissed. But there's one key takeaway from my experiences, and a lot I've got a lot of this from our good friend Nick, who works in drugs.

00:32:34:17 – 00:32:58:14
You know, drugs, counseling and harm prevention in the youth service in, in Kent. And he said, at this stage with me, you can always add it's very simple. You can always add, you can't take away once that whiskey is in your body, it is going to have the effect that it has on you once. You can always add to it, but you can never take away.

00:32:58:16 – 00:33:21:18
And I said this to my daughter, I stepped away and, because she said something alarming to me. She said, I don't really get drunk now. That is, if she believes that going into a session or a party, that she is somehow more resilient to alcohol than other people. There will be a time when it gets her. Yeah, it will, it hadn't.

00:33:21:18 – 00:33:40:13
You can't not. There isn't a person in the world isn't impacted by alcohol. And the room gets, everyone gets caught and you don't. Ricky, you got got in a bad way. Yeah. And that day. Yeah, but a bit of advice. It's the same thing as well in terms of, like, pills. There will be ecstasy pills offered to your children at some stage in their adolescence.

00:33:40:13 – 00:34:02:17
Might be when they're 18, 19. It might be younger than that. The strength of the pills at the moment are so strong, super strong, strongest they've ever been. The whole see how you feel, don't look at a tiny pill and think, oh, it's only a little whack it in. You wouldn't down a bottle of vodka. Why would you down an entire pill?

00:34:02:19 – 00:34:25:00
Just cause it's tiny doesn't mean it's not powerful. It's fucking powerful. The, the the saying that Nick said that you can, You could. What was it again? You can always add that. Never take away, you know. That's right. My dad taught me that as well. Yeah, but he's a chef. And he was talking about salt.

00:34:25:02 – 00:34:46:24
So, the same guys, it's the same principle. If you open some food, you fucked it. That's it. Exactly that. Did you have anything? As in. No. Maybe not as embarrassing as that in school, but was there a case where, he maybe tripped over everyone saw it? Well, there was, there was. It wasn't the school. That was when I was, working at Woolworths.

00:34:47:01 – 00:35:04:21
And, we haven't got an episode, actually haven't listened to already about our first job, which is a great episode, but there was a girl I fancied called Jane. I might have told the story, but I'd put she was we do stocktaking, the evening, and I fancy her so much I kind of felt like she didn't really fancy me back.

00:35:04:23 – 00:35:24:12
You know? You just had a feeling there wasn't any spark. It's just I fancied it a lot. Had that a lot when I was in my teens. To be fair, unrequited love. But, I put my foot in a but empty box that she'd put aside because she was doing confectionary. And you're walking at speed. And my foot went into this box.

00:35:24:12 – 00:35:50:02
My foot connects at the back of the box, and I went over in stages, not just bam! Like by the time I hit the floor, I was at least 25ft away from where she was. And you know what you're like. Oh, no, no, this is not happening. And, you know, it took so long to go down my lights to process how embarrassing it was as I was falling.

00:35:50:03 – 00:36:12:12
Awful. I've had that a few times. There was another one, actually. Recently I'm like, oh, when I think about it, I, I, I just cringe. I want to curl up. We it was lazy and, Lee's wedding, your Lane and Lee's wedding. Yeah. And you're not. I'm talking about the speech. No, no, no. So they sort of boys these best men yet like series.

00:36:12:17 – 00:36:46:01
A bunch of best men, basically. Oh, I'm one of them. Weirdly. But they were right. Yeah. And, they were telling stories about what happened on the stag. And, you know, when there's, like, in-joke, essentially the title is in-joke is Sexy Dickheads. And it it was intensely funny to me at this time, but no one really understood what was going on in the room, which is fine, because like stories, like stories, it's kind of a thing when you're doing what happens on on the stag kind of thing.

00:36:46:03 – 00:37:09:13
Brit Sexy Dickheads is actually about a group of elderly women who are on this wall of water. We did this thing like, this event where, things you do. Where you. Yes. Traverse up waterfalls and then you jump. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. These old ladies were in front of us. They're just taking forever as a fucking dickheads.

00:37:09:13 – 00:37:31:11
And so, yeah, fucking sexy dickheads. Like, that's what it where it comes from. So it's just a stupid thing. Yeah. Anyway, something we're talking about sex dickheads in this speech, in this beautiful castle in Italy. And I threw my head back and laughed so much that the the chair went from underneath me and I hit the ground. Oh my God, are you kidding me?

00:37:31:11 – 00:37:50:16
No, I haven't told you about this. No, there was there was like 80 people in this room just listen to the speech. And then suddenly, I was I just crash against the floor. You can imagine all. She doesn't like attention being brought to her. So she was mortified. Yeah. That was in the light of, Okay.

00:37:50:16 – 00:38:13:04
Now you'll never stop making a cunt of yourself, no matter how old you get. It's impossible. No, and a case in point, I mean. Yeah, this is this is recently. So I had, a heavy night last week. And the next day, I'd arranged to go fishing with my mate, and. Fuck knows, and I mean fuck knows how.

00:38:13:04 – 00:38:32:19
I managed to get myself up and go fishing with my mate. What? Time to just go. I was supposed to be there at ten. I got there at 12 and I was going to fuck it off all together. And I think he knew that the the, you know, he was out. He he did know I was out and he knew that I, I was out till early hours of the morning.

00:38:32:19 – 00:38:56:13
No he wasn't he was one of those one of those nights just being naughty boy. No just just. Yeah. Let me know if you sign up outside. Outside your bedroom. That's outside your bedtime. It's, Yeah, it's just a heavy, heavy night. And then I decided I wasn't. I weren't going to disappear. I'm going to go fish. Yeah, and I got to the lake.

00:38:56:15 – 00:39:18:00
I put my guard together, cast my rods out, and it was boiling hot and the sun was beating down on me. And I was trying to talk to me and say, he lives really close to the lake as well. Like in walking distance to the lake. And I'd got brought my bottle of water with me. I drunk, and I was just sitting there and I was just fucking out, man, I feel so bad.

00:39:18:00 – 00:39:34:06
I want to go home. This is horrible. And we're talking about fishing and how we're going to catch him and this, that and the other. And then all of a sudden I was like, I need to shit. And he's like, what do you mean? I was like, what? You what do you think of me when I say I need to shit?

00:39:34:08 – 00:39:50:20
And he was like, what are you going to do? And I was like, was, this is the public like, man, this people dog walkers. Jim go, you know, people running is so busy that you can't find a bush disappearing. This is fucking you going through this process where you're thinking about how am I going to get this out?

00:39:50:22 – 00:40:08:09
Yeah, yeah. And I was just thinking, I'm not going to go to the water's edge somehow and, and hiked to the bank and just get this out. It needed to come out. There was a lot of there was a lot of, darkness and poison that was just needed to be ejected from the body. So. So this process.

00:40:08:09 – 00:40:26:20
Right. Let me just dig down into this a little bit. Yeah. Okay. So you're feeling horrendous. Horrendous, horrible. You, you didn't really want to be there because, you know, all of, you know, how late you got in and stuff. Yeah. You now need a poo. Now, this is a man who has a history of needing to poo quite urgently.

00:40:26:20 – 00:40:46:15
I think you had even had a real key once, didn't you? In terms of, I mean, whatever toilet I want on earth that I thought was my own, that was my own man. Oh, shit. Because I can't stop it from coming out my own right. Okay. Do you want me to shit myself inside your pop? Let me use the toilet.

00:40:46:17 – 00:41:10:13
Yeah. So? So would you then something to scope out the place. What could you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was looking at bushes, looking at a lot. Just shrubbery. That was like waist height. That it would disguise me enough that you knew someone was there, but they couldn't see exactly what I was doing. And then I said to him, mate, can can I walk back to your house and go for a shit?

00:41:10:13 – 00:41:33:13
And he was like, yeah, you can. But my mum's visiting this weekend and my wife's at home and the kids are. I'm at my mum's there and I was like, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do. He said, go. Like he said, go on then. So I had to speed walk to his house, knock on the door where his mum answered, doesn't know who I am.

00:41:33:13 – 00:41:54:23
And I said I'm a friend of blah blah. I really need to use your leg if that's possible. She said yeah sure, come in. Kids were running round my ankles. His wife popped her head rather. Oh and I, Ricky, come on in, I said, usually quickly. She's like, yeah, sure. So it's just the loo in the corridor that's connected to.

00:41:54:24 – 00:42:15:22
Oh, it's not upstairs. No no no no no you downstairs one. That's that's how I like to go in there and drop the sticky towel. How pat of a poo that smelt so bad he actually stank my eyes. I was like, oh my God. And I didn't know what to do. I had to flush twice and I was like, there's a window.

00:42:15:24 – 00:42:32:08
I didn't know there was no window. So. So there's nothing this this smell is going to permeate the entire bottom floor. It was already started before it left my bum like. And I was like, I don't know what to do. So the only thing I could do is after the second flush, just walk straight out of the house.

00:42:32:10 – 00:42:55:21
Goes inside. Yeah, just just ran. Just ran back to the, like, fading light. Okay. That's one thing. He jumps. She's got the gun. Hold on. Ricky, let's not move on to great clear. So you could have said sorry. Sorry. Yeah, I'm pretty sore at every night. It's a male, you know, they. And they wanted that. You've left, right?

00:42:55:21 – 00:43:21:12
And they got us there. Yes. They. Yes. Yeah. You can't go back to the house again. It's a right off. No. Never again. No. Well, unless his family were out. But yeah, it was. It's the fact that I'm still at this age, you know as well. Yeah. My still, still doing embarrassing things. Embarrassing. That's amazing. What was the other one I thought, I don't know how I get myself into those,

00:43:21:14 – 00:43:40:01
Again. Why why is it always like, the ones that I was always poo involved? Yeah, I know exactly. The next door is like that smells as well. If we haven't told the story to you about. While I remember about you getting caught needing to poo in Ireland and you found a space to have a poo and you looked up.

00:43:40:02 – 00:44:01:14
No, no, no, no I can't. I'll tell this story instead of the other one. So I was in Ireland. I was with my in-laws. We were in the countryside, middle of nowhere, and we went for a picnic, and there was loads of us there and our tucking into fucking everything because we packed my stuff and our smashing this food.

00:44:01:14 – 00:44:24:10
And then I was like, oh God, I said, is, I need a point. You have to keep telling people, you need to just go and get it. Why did they colluded with people? I'm not like a cat where I just go off to die and don't tell anyone I people need to know. I think I'm dying because they might be able to offer like, oh, actually, when we came in the car park there was a portaloo there and I missed it.

00:44:24:16 – 00:44:42:16
There might be something to help me out. Okay, I know I don't want basically she just looked at me, grabbed a waterfall of napkins and went clear and I was like, fucking now. I was like, nah, I need to hold it. I need to. It's. I try to hold it and hold it. But in the end, my stomach cramps was so bad.

00:44:42:18 – 00:45:06:00
Yeah, exactly. And I just I've got a guy, so I started walking off down this hill. I couldn't see my family anymore. And I was like, this is, this is great, secluded, secluded bear just down this little ravine bit as well. So I was just down this ravine, but I could see grass and forest everywhere and Witmer cakes down started curling one out.

00:45:06:06 – 00:45:38:17
That relief that senses that sweet relief of light is coming out. And I'm just, God, I can walk. Why can I hear crunching on the floor? And at the top of this ravine, there was a pathway, and I looked ahead of me, and there was a big family of Irish people walking towards me. I know they can see the top of my head, and as they're getting closer, it suddenly reveals this small Asian boy doing a poo just there for everyone to see.

00:45:38:17 – 00:45:56:18
And I just said, I'm so sorry. I thought I was more hidden than this, but when you got a guy, you got a guy and they said, you're right with yeah, you're right with you. I'm looking. But me. But freaking fucking hell. Why? Why does this happen to you? Literally the last. Because in rural Ireland there isn't. It's not.

00:45:56:19 – 00:46:19:03
It's not culturally diverse. It's just Irish people. Yeah, pretty much Guinness. But that's it. Yeah. There's not even like the sort of. It's almost like, so Irish people don't listen to be offended. But what I've told is like, even in the sort of rural Ireland that the police and the people, they sort of just get on like drunk driving is just common.

00:46:19:03 – 00:46:41:16
And it's just, it's just what a normal thing to. So it's very kind of behave yourself, but don't take the piss. Exactly. But the last thing they expect. So a family having a little walk is a small Asian man, Asian looking man, having a pup. Yeah. She's the last thing that expect. Yeah. So like just to see another Asian man, that would be enough.

00:46:41:22 – 00:47:03:00
But Asian man pooping that they must have blown their minds. That must have made it past a local pub. Yeah, I totally straight away. I could see what I heard on the under there. Bro. Stop the boats, stop the boats. But yeah, it always happens. Like throughout my life there is embarrassment and there's going to be later. There will be loads more.

00:47:03:01 – 00:47:39:12
What is like? Is there anything? I just want you to pick one thing that you feel like that is your Achilles heel of your embarrassment. Now, I'll go first. Mine is, I would say, not knowing, like educational wise. So I'll give you an example. Right. So my previous role, social media manager, that is my kind of, that, specific to what I do on the fucking app, blah blah blah.

00:47:39:14 – 00:47:59:14
If someone asked a question about it and I didn't know the answer, I would feel humiliated. Embarrassed, like I want to cry. Like it was just yeah, one of those. It's one of those things. Is that not knowing where I feel like I should know you, don't you? You can't know everything. No one can know everything about everything.

00:47:59:16 – 00:48:22:08
Yeah. And the budget management. You're in, in that in podcasting environment, you're you're supposed to know not knowing isn't an answer. Like I was thinking. Could you in that instance go I don't know with authority enough even that is not that's not correct. You've got to have the answer exactly that. It's those things where that's the worst thing that I know.

00:48:22:08 – 00:48:48:07
The word, the poo stuff. I mean, there's a fucking there is a long list of that as well that I mean, it's and it's natural man like, and I've got a stomach issue. I've got to get it out like. Yeah. Just bear with me on that. Bear with. But is there anything for you that is particularly or is it just falling enough chairs?

00:48:48:09 – 00:49:03:13
Yeah. No, I guess like the sort of the. Yeah. I mean, it taps into that inadequacy. Exactly. Yeah. So so the embarrassment of it, I don't know specifically, but I did want to mention.

00:49:03:15 – 00:49:43:15
That the older I get, the less I get embarrassed, even though I'm fucking up no less than I did previously. Yeah, but what I found is no one's watching. No one's remembering. No one's really interested in you. I'm learning that. And if what you consider to be super embarrassing, the reality is some people might remember it. Your close friends may, but they're so consumed by what's going on in their own lives and legitimate worries and concerns they have you doing something embarrassing really doesn't register with people.

00:49:43:17 – 00:50:11:14
No. Like I don't even think everybody who went to that wedding where I fell off that chair. Yeah, the first dream. Haven't thought about that since. No, I think Lee, Lee Royo, Lee or Your Lane probably have thought about it since. Unless I bring up because there's so much more to go on with. So I'm finding it easier even when I do fuck up to, to have a break.

00:50:11:16 – 00:50:36:03
No. Not really. Yeah. It's like ruminate in your mind. I know we can't sort of talk about it much anymore because he's been disgraced, but Russell Brand that a bit say in it, wake up in the middle of the night and it go and he's he's he's subconscious. Kurt Russell do you remember that time 13 years ago where this happened, like, that's your ego, your own brain doing it to you.

00:50:36:05 – 00:50:56:22
So what's what is this? If you seem like the the just to go off of track a little, just for a second, you know, if you had bunch of disrespect, you seen him. He's like an online gaming character. Massive, huge. Anyway, it doesn't matter. But he's been he's been done for texting miners. Oh God. It's constantly happening. Like wow, wow.

00:50:56:22 – 00:51:20:08
Why does this keep happening? Stop. If they're underage, just don't text him. Even if you fancy him, still don't text them. Do you know? I mean, like, I look, if you, for whatever reason, fancy someone who is underage, whatever that's happened in your brain. Yeah, the keep it areas. Don't act on it. Don't act so. Yeah. And you will be fine.

00:51:20:10 – 00:51:45:14
You will be fine. Certainly. Don't act on it. In something where a record can be kept. But don't act on it at all. If someone can prove that you're doing it, don't do that either. I do, I do want to do a future topic on, clout chasing, clout chasing engagement like that. There's there's the just seems like my timeline is filled with paedo hunters at the moment.

00:51:45:16 – 00:52:04:12
Yeah. They're everywhere. It's. Fuck it. It's fucking meant a lot to you guys on the run. There's lo. There's loads of those things. I want to copy, I want to cover that. All right, let's do the modern society quickly for me. Yvonne, do you have any ex? Well, you know this. I made this a point yesterday for people to use.

00:52:04:12 – 00:52:27:13
The word EQ is intensely irritating to me because it's it's performative. They know what they're doing when you say the word EQ, you say it as if it's natural in your vocabulary, but you are affecting you're effectively forcing that word because it's a new word into your sentence to show you know what it is. And I find that immensely irritating.

00:52:27:15 – 00:52:51:24
And the fact that it all comes from fucking Love Island. Oh, that should never be. We should never get that. Shouldn't add to the foundation of our language. Love Island I get some people watch it and they enjoy it, and there's some weird sort of fascination with these people, but it is the shittiest thing. It's awful. It's.

00:52:51:24 – 00:53:27:16
I've never watched it. Never want to watch it, never want to pollute my brain that I will never, ever watch it. I've got a list of six. You ready? Go on. I'm listening. So, one of them. And, this is true to men and women that I've noticed it with. With women more when they take on their partners, football team or, or whatever club is a support, and then they start rinsing you about, you know, the rivalry.

00:53:27:18 – 00:53:48:21
Oh, so, so, so I don't know if, if, a mate of mine, for example, mate among these Chelsea fan, he meets a girl. I've known it for a while. She's not in football. She starts donning Chelsea tops and then she starts giving me aggro about Chelsea. Tottenham and yeah, you know, love well. And what the fuck? Like that?

00:53:48:21 – 00:54:10:21
That's that's a massive one for me, Rick. This feels like an episode. Well I've got the whole list. The list, it list I think I think we should stop. Right, right. Because I could we could talk about that for ten minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Just because your boyfriend, now you're giving me shit. I don't want to hear this shit from him.

00:54:10:23 – 00:54:36:07
But you will. You can. You popping up? Yeah. Let's say this is good. All right. Okay, okay, let's let's, let's leave it at just before we leave this topic, we actually have a voice note sent in by someone that had shared the embarrassing story. And you are going to hear that now. All right, boys, I've got a question for you.

00:54:36:09 – 00:55:01:20
Have you ever been in a situation where it's been so cringe, you just wanted the floor to open up and swallow you up? Oh, I remember I was in a situation once where I had to do something to survive, which was wrong. I had a little chat with him, and he was adamant he wanted me to do this particular way.

00:55:02:00 – 00:55:33:08
So I have, eight God jobs on the phone. So my mate up just got into the conversations are amazing. Oh, I said, you never guess what he's got to be doing now. Let's go. Whoa, whoa. What are you doing? The cogs would start in my head. That voice ain't my main. And I'll put my phone down to have a look at the contacts.

00:55:33:08 – 00:55:58:19
And it was this guy who asked me to do the doors. I phoned him up to slag him off to him. That was my little. Don't want the world to open up and swallow me. God, I just I can feel like I've been in those situations before. Yeah, yeah. Similar to your one of the the that that is awful.

00:55:58:20 – 00:56:20:22
Because he's like, oh yeah. What, what what do I got you doing now then. And like what do you do. How do you talk your way out of that? I had a similar one where my, my, my immediate boss and the head of department emailed me. They had look at this bit of content that someone had done. What are your thoughts?

00:56:20:22 – 00:56:45:09
And I replied with a list of things being a right cunt about it being really horrible. And then the next reply that came back was like, oh Rick, thanks for your honesty. That was pretty brutal. It was from the person. Yep. They had put the content out. They were copied in. I hadn't seen their name and I was like, fuck, fuck, fuck yeah.

00:56:45:09 – 00:57:04:15
And then I had to try and play it off, as in, so you write, you can't own that on hold that one Rick. Hold that I did, I did, I did hold it. Yeah. So this is the thing I remember. Yeah. So I would say the lesson there would be this assume that everyone can read what you're writing.

00:57:04:17 – 00:57:27:13
Yeah. And because that, that is quite that can be quite damaging. Yeah. You basically like a country you've been on. Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know, I had some I'm not gonna go into any details. This happened really, really recently. Okay. But someone said something to me about someone who had done something like in my industry, and he was saying I wasn't.

00:57:27:15 – 00:57:52:15
It didn't quite go the way you wanted it to go. Yes. And I it my interpretation with that was, was that the, the it wasn't the fault of the person. Why it didn't go the way it was. It was the overarching show. Yeah. So I've just gone straight to the other blokes. I know him as well. And

00:57:52:17 – 00:58:08:05
You know, shame about the show in it. The guy that, well, did it like that, that I wasn't supposed to do that. It was the performance of the bloke. It was the issue.

00:58:08:07 – 00:58:30:07
And I was like, scrabbling around about. How do I create this? I otherwise say to myself, out of this, I managed to write it. Good, good. We are going to be going on two dilemmas and something I need, you know, and thank you for, waiting until the end for that one, because it is going to be a banger.

00:58:30:09 – 00:58:55:17
So for instead of jumping straight into dilemmas, right topic for next week job interviews and finding a job. Now, I know there's a lot of people out there struggling. I know there's a lot of people out there that, for whatever reason, are finding it hard to come by work, are finding it hard to prepare for interviews, finding it hard to do different things, stigmas, confidence.

00:58:55:17 – 00:59:18:06
So we're going to have a chat about that. And I'm hoping that the conversation that Flav and I have will kind of get the monkey off the back for all those stigmas and just having to laugh about it, really, because we're all in this together when we're applying for jobs, we're all self-conscious. We're all kind of feel a bit, inadequate in what we know and fake it to you, make it all that kind of stuff.

00:59:18:06 – 00:59:41:13
So if you have any stories, any advice, any recruitment consultants listening that they want to send anything in, email us at. Lads. Anon pod at gmail.com. Now we're going to go into dilemmas and this dilemma is called I want her back. Oh just just tired and you got an issue for a tissue. You're a big sack.

00:59:41:19 – 01:00:12:22
And when you are you aching in your soul, alone in your flat. Please talk to Vicky. Flat bed. Let that stress off your chest. Well, friend, you deserve it. Back. Relax. You're safe. It's a get nice. Sure. Between breaking your and. I may need some advice. Don't mind if you want to discuss it on the pod. Or just make me on here.

01:00:12:24 – 01:00:39:12
I split up on the weekend with my partner. Seven years. We've been together since we were 18, and it's been my only ever partner. I haven't been getting on well recently and have been arguing over trivial stuff like TV, dinner, and just general attitudes. Normal stuff really. And both of us become very short with each other. The sex is also slowed down a lot, mainly within the last six months for no particular reason.

01:00:39:14 – 01:01:05:02
And we have had some issues discussing that as well as I don't know what the last bit means. I know she definitely hasn't been seeing anyone, and never have I ever been unfaithful to her. The reason she broke up with me was because I become really nasty when I've had a drink and swear and say nasty things. I've not been physically violent to her.

01:01:05:02 – 01:01:31:12
I. After a few years my mum became very ill and I drank heavily. I now only have a drink very occasionally, but the last few times I've taken it too far, I've now realized I have a problem as it's a deep rooted one. I need to fix based on my history of it. I also struggle to not partake of one of the substances once I've had a drink, which I'm ashamed of.

01:01:31:14 – 01:01:56:15
Needless to say, it's the opinion I now don't want to drink for a long, long time. Again, I've tried to ask her for another chance. She said no. She's promised me that she would give it another go in a few mums if I sort myself out and become happy again. I haven't been in a long time. I know I need to work on myself and get better.

01:01:56:17 – 01:02:17:20
My struggle is in the meantime, how do I keep in contact with her enough and not blur the lines or make her feel awkward? She said she still wants to know how I'm getting on and getting and getting about, but I need to remember that we aren't together. I'm finding it very hard to speak to her enough not to overwhelm her.

01:02:17:22 – 01:02:46:08
She is my person on A and I want to talk to her all the time. I'm absolutely heartbroken and just want her back so much. For, So there's a few things to, to unpack here. Can I just say before we do give advice, is it on qualified to properly give you the right, the right advice, the, you know, take if you want to something from what we're about to say.

01:02:46:10 – 01:03:05:02
Yeah. But absolutely think about the situation because we're not counselors. We don't understand your relationship. We don't understand you or your partner. Okay. So we're just going to talk about it on a very sort of what what do we know. But here's some advice if you want it kind of thing. Yeah. And from experience as well. Yeah. Apart.

01:03:05:06 – 01:03:34:10
Yeah. Yeah. So the the bit about breaking up about not being in a relationship anymore, long term relationship, she would consider getting back with you if you sort your issues out. She wants to remain friends but you need to or you want to. You don't want to let her out your life. You don't want to let it go.

01:03:34:10 – 01:04:10:00
In case, see she drifts off, meet someone else, whatever it might be. Now, I've said on this pod before that I've been with my partner. In August, it'll be 25 years now. When we were, in, early 20s, we split up for a few months. And it was it was exactly the same situation. Now, my problem was I suffered massively from FOMO, fear of missing out.

01:04:10:02 – 01:04:32:09
So my misses was always the last resort. See if my mates are smoking weed now. See if my mates are going down to say night. All right, I'll come hang around. Goes to the weekend. And she got tired of being, you know, second best. And when she did see me as hung over or anything like that and we broke up and yes, it broke my heart, I was devastated.

01:04:32:11 – 01:04:51:23
And at that time I was pestering, every day, texting, you know, all that, all this stuff you would usually do to to get it back. And I bumped into one of her mates and she said to me, you just need to give her a space. You just need to give her time. Need to let her find your own way back if you get back.

01:04:51:24 – 01:05:13:20
And I was like, okay. And then she said, you just end up driving her away by the constant contact with her. That was the best bit of advice I was. I was given in that situation because I said one last thing. I said, you know how I feel, you know, I'm sorry, but I'll leave you now. I'll leave you to your own devices.

01:05:13:20 – 01:05:38:01
And if we bump into each other from around a Saturday night or whatever, I'll come say hello. But this is it. And I understand what what I've done. And lo and behold, we came back into each other's lives. People grow apart. People need separation. They need to realize what they're missing. They. They sat in the other and trees grow apart.

01:05:38:01 – 01:05:55:08
And then they come back in roots, grab a partner and they come back and they. What happened? But for in order to that to happen, I had to have our own space that have our own minds. Let her do what she wanted to do. And in the end, if it's meant to be, they will come back to you.

01:05:55:08 – 01:06:18:07
Yeah, yeah. That's all the advice I can give you. You know, Ricky, when I said we weren't qualified or didn't, I forgot that that was your. You went through this. So that was your your experience. Yeah. So fair play. That's that's good advice. But obviously it's every situation is quite unique. But the advice of what Ricky gave in terms of given a space, you have to because if you suffocate a Uber driver away.

01:06:18:09 – 01:06:38:18
Yeah. And she's asked you for that space, so you have to do it no matter how painful it is. And you also have a job to do and cleaning yourself up. Right. And doing the things in Ricky's instance that he needed to see, he's, he's, he's missus needs to feel like a priority in his life. And then eventually he may do that.

01:06:38:20 – 01:07:06:08
But through separation, it was forced to realize that that was the case. You probably took it for granted. A little bit rate, you should just assume, should always be there. So I could do a little bit. Massively. Yeah. Idiot. Yeah, but but you're not an idiot because that's your reality. That's the truth. That was what was. And it was only when she forced you to acknowledge it and look at it that you was, also, my experience is seven years is crucial.

01:07:06:10 – 01:07:24:15
If there's this thing called seven year itch. That's right. I'm not saying that. Yeah, you're you're in seven years and it is a time that actually makes some breaks. Relationships. But there's also these other factors that you brought up in terms of, you know, you getting drunk, drunk and saying mean things. Everybody can do that on the alcohol.

01:07:24:15 – 01:07:46:11
It does bring out that can in people. So don't do that. That is enough to hurt someone and make them change the way that they see you. But you got to give her space. And if she decides not to, you have to accept that as well. So she may promise you that you're going to get back together. So you're going to give it another go.

01:07:46:13 – 01:08:05:09
But you have to respect that. If in two months she decides to know what isn't what I want you, you have to respect that as well and and deal with that. What I would say though as well, mate, is she's your first girlfriend. The person you are when you're 18 isn't the same person you are when you're 25.

01:08:05:09 – 01:08:37:19
There's a big world out there and you feel completely different about things. Just go out and have some fun thing. Don't just wait and hang around with it. Think about yourself. Develop yourself, build yourself up, get down the gym, stop drinking. Be the best version of you for when this couple of months come turns up. Because if you're the the guy that's pestering the guy that's constantly trying to make contact with her, you're not going to convince her that anything has changed by doing that.

01:08:37:21 – 01:09:02:05
You saying, I'm changed? I'm done this. I'm. I'm better. I'm. You know, all that stuff won't mean a thing if you're if you aren't actually changing and developing. If she doesn't, if you have if you haven't spoken much and you agree a date in the future and you turn up and you've lost weight, you look healthy. You look like an improved version of yourself.

01:09:02:07 – 01:09:25:12
That is the demonstration that you've actually changed. You turn up and you're looking great. Got new clothes on, got a haircut. But you've also, you know, stop the drinking. That's the show. Show her show. She said, don't tell her words cheap. I mean, fuck, I'll do. Yeah, I think that's, That's some good advice. Show her. Yeah, show.

01:09:25:14 – 01:09:41:06
Don't show her. Like. Oh, look, I'm down the gym. Here's a picture of me in the gym. Not that. Show her by your appearance in two months time, you have a deadline. You can get a lot of shit done in eight, eight weeks. Nine weeks? Use that time. Don't get, you know, make yourself well. Yeah. Let's go. Right.

01:09:41:06 – 01:09:56:05
We're going to go on to something only you know. And this is a the eight that somebody has sent in and which you're going to hear right now.

01:09:56:06 – 01:10:26:23
Wow. Something ugly. You know. A voice oh I downloaded just gave it five stars because you mind about it so much. Time, I assume I, you know, years ago, I've been out on the piss and a bit of being go, go. And it's Derek and Clive that say at the fuck you know. So I got to power for, give it a go.

01:10:26:23 – 01:10:52:05
One of these can go is a try. So this pad is shaking her ass for me, and I just can't find the sheet to see me and not. Yeah. And she she laughs. And unfortunately, now all of a sunscreen goes black. So, so not two seconds later, an image pops up on the screen of me with cocaine and so I'm looking forward.

01:10:52:06 – 01:11:14:20
Fuck that. You know that moment when you when you've done yellow and you think, fucking what do I do that for? This feeling of that and dread. And then this message popped up on the fucking name. It said, if you don't send me €5,000, I'm going to post this to your Facebook contacts. So I fucking slammed the laptop screen down, freaked out a little bit.

01:11:14:22 – 01:11:35:17
A few minutes went by, soft by this point, went back on. I went back and opened up at a chat with a fellow saying that I ain't got five grand. I ain't getting any money, blah blah blah. And they started haggling. Thousand euros, a few more minutes, a bunch of, you know what, my fucking post it up and give a fuck and that's all you fucking want.

01:11:35:19 – 01:11:56:11
I mean, it's normal. What we doing it? And then, as I'm watching this post and I will see mouse move moving, I see his computer screen sending it and he posted it to Dailymotion as well. Luckily he didn't send it to me on Facebook contacts, but all the rest is my mother and said if there's a link for me, don't open it.

01:11:56:13 – 01:12:23:22
And I said, there I was, so go to Dailymotion. Just by chance I went on Dailymotion and yet it was on the internet. Fucking nothing went out. So I'm out there. I'm to take it off and luckily nothing happened. But the moral there is don't use free cams, make sure you pay for on tips boys. Have fun on this person.

01:12:23:24 – 01:12:47:19
Oh my God. Oh my God. So I hadn't heard that. That's the first time I ever heard it. You'd heard it? Really? Obviously. Yeah. Oh, you hear these stories? You just don't. Why would she? What? This got so many questions. Like, why would you use a free cam? The woman is not going to be doing this just for a laugh.

01:12:47:21 – 01:13:14:24
That there is. I mean, you do mad stuff. When can you you not get up? You do anything, anything? Everything when you when you pure horned up and it's and it's early in the morning. What what I will say is I now know that it was it was when I first heard it, I was shocked. Then I was absolutely pissing myself laughing as to me, you know, the situation you're in.

01:13:15:01 – 01:13:45:21
And funnily enough, well, coincidentally, I was scrolling through Instagram and I came across a video and this is a bit serious now because when I put this in the running order and when I had the, the voice and I put it in because of what it was, I come across this video of a dad having an interview in Australia where his 17 year old son had taken his own life because of the exact same thing that happened.

01:13:45:21 – 01:14:10:07
Now, I don't I didn't know this was a thing. Sextortion. I didn't know there was a word. Sextortion I didn't know was this thing where. And it's really targeted towards young males cause where, where they're on webcams, where they're getting into conversations, which maybe they don't really do that with women. And they're getting the confidence because the woman has sent them something over.

01:14:10:07 – 01:14:34:08
So it's their turn to share. You do one, I do one, that kind of thing. And then after the incidents happened, pop up screen, I've got these images. It's an actual person behind there, which is a guy. And the person said, I'm going to post this to everybody on your Instagram inbox and on your great and your Facebook page and all of that.

01:14:34:08 – 01:15:00:10
Not the I think the the kid. Paid the money, but then the person posted it anyway, or some or more. Yeah, it was something, something around around those lines. And it did get posted out. He did with the embarrassment. And then in the end it was too much. Now what scumbags. It's, it's it's it's all for what?

01:15:00:12 – 01:15:22:20
What I do want to say, I know we we've got a mate, and he has no problem of, cam vids. Cam goes no problem of whacking himself off in front of them. Oh, you mean he's into your into it, into it? That doesn't mind. It if it gets into his his family. Oh yeah. It's natural. It's just what men do.

01:15:22:20 – 01:15:43:21
I don't give a shit. There are some people out there and that is absolutely fine. You've got no shame upon it. You do. You you carry on whacking off in front of webcams, but don't ever do anything where you would be embarrassed to if a video or photo was shown to your parents. I always say this to my kids, right?

01:15:43:21 – 01:16:05:23
If you're using Snapchat, if you're using Instagram, if you're using WhatsApp, don't send anything that you would feel embarrassed to showing me, as in these, you know, photos and stuff like that, to really think about doesn't matter what time of day is with, how pissed up you are. What are you doing? If you're right with it and you don't care, fine.

01:16:06:03 – 01:16:29:17
But think about what you are doing because it instances like that, they happen. They stay online forever. Yeah. Yeah it's yeah that is that. But that's a different thing. There's one thing sharing you know maybe like suggestive images on on Snapchat, you know, one of those kind of things that's like like a concentrated effort to humiliate someone into giving you money.

01:16:29:17 – 01:16:51:12
Like, what are these people? They they're going about their day doing this. Like in the scam, the scam call centers in India, they've you seen these ones where they convinced they find vulnerable young people at young people. Some people are, or anyone you vulnerable and essentially get them to withdraw money and send cash through the post back to what were they what they think is a safe place anyway?

01:16:51:12 – 01:17:17:15
Man, it's just, you know, you're you're supposed to see and it's a more healthier place to see the good in people. But there is no other horrendous extortion. Yeah. What what kind of scumbag goes to sleep at night thinking they've done that to someone? Mate, it's it's, It's mad you've heard the story now and the the pot.

01:17:17:17 – 01:17:55:09
If you want to follow us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, friends, wherever we use the same handle everywhere at lads and on pot. If you want to email us lads anon pod at gmail.com and we will see you next week. Oh, just just tired. You got just selected the wrong one. A other night, hazy like Band of Brothers playing tunes high is quite midnight.

01:17:55:09 – 01:18:12:03
Waves surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm hit us different ways. Lover music's out. We prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band is I, we like to speak and yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers.