#14 | Health Anxieties | the biggest fear in all humans…

00:00:00:00 – 00:00:26:02
We're on air, Richard. Hello and welcome to lads anonymous. It's episode 14, a podcast with two best mates of over 20 years invite you to join their safe space where all manner of subjects will be discussed. We'll focus on a specific subject matter first and then we'll answer your questions, dilemmas or need for advice, all handled anonymously. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast.

00:00:26:07 – 00:00:49:12
How are you doing, Flav? I'm pretty good. Are you good? You had a good day yesterday? Yeah. Loads of magic mushrooms. Went for a dog walk. Fucking hell. I was not expecting, as well. Good. The dog walk was either, like, four hours long or about 20 minutes. I can't remember, but it felt like ages. What about how, that.

00:00:49:12 – 00:01:28:16
I've just got so many questions. We didn't. You haven't even spoke to me about this over WhatsApp or anything. And Mojo, what would I say, Ricky? I'm about to take some matches, no doubt. Well, yeah, well, I had match earlier. Oh, why? What were you doing? Let's just go for this now. So what the fuck happened? What? You just woke up and thought, I'm going to take the dog for a walk and, well, you know, I have, I have some I bought some recently, and it was a lovely sunny day and I, I was watching Man City versus Chelsea, and I was sitting, I was thinking I might buy a mushroom.

00:01:28:18 – 00:01:45:14
It is a cat. They've got them in little capsules. They're like one gram. I might just watch the football and bosh a mushroom as I thought, but then becomes a lot less interesting. You realize the banality of it all when you trip in and you're like, at least this. I'm more wholesome than this. Let me walk the dog.

00:01:45:16 – 00:02:14:20
So it's lovely. About 8:00 at night. Went for a walk in the sunset. It was beautiful. It was lovely. Amazing how, how trippy was the trip? What was it like? Not very. Okay. Yeah. No, it was like I had, This isn't advice for people. This is just something that I did. Well, how to gram and then topped it up about two hours later with another one.

00:02:14:22 – 00:02:31:23
And it was like, well, so it wasn't to the point. Oh, listen to Radiohead, listen to Radiohead. That. I bet that was rain. It was good. Yeah. Like so it wasn't to the point that you were walking the dog and you looked at it and you just had the lead in your hand. The dog wasn't actually there.

00:02:31:23 – 00:02:52:17
Now you're compos mentis. It's not. There's a big myth around mushrooms about how out of it. I mean, you take a lot, then you'll get a lot. Like it's fucking horrible. It's been I've done I've had trips where it's been too much. I'm like, oh God, I've done too much for this. What's the next? I made so many mistakes, right?

00:02:52:17 – 00:03:19:17
And this is all like, just I'm not saying drugs are good. The fucking not don't start bad, bad, bad things. But if there is one and you're like, you're desperate, mushrooms are the other one. They're pretty, pretty wholesome. But if you take too much, it isn't fun. And, I think there's, there's a misconception as well that acid and mushrooms are the same because they're both hallucinogenics.

00:03:19:17 – 00:03:55:16
Yeah. Apps. I mean, they they offer similar experiences in that, you will hallucinate hallucinating, and the high that you feel is similar, but I it is a different ballgame. Like I've made a mistake on that on LSD once I decided about because what my favorite thing is so eat some mushrooms and watch cartoons or marvel and, it was about ten at night, and I remember that I added some LSD and I was like, oh fuck yeah, see what happens, which is an attitude that is fine in your 20s.

00:03:55:16 – 00:04:21:15
But as you're getting older, the consequences now you realize, oh, what's the worst that can happen? Took it now. And mushroom trip may last between 3 and 5 hours, right? Again, depending on the dosage. But it's never by five hours. You come down and you feel you feel fine, right? And it seems very different. It lasts 12 hours and there's no getting off.

00:04:21:17 – 00:04:42:04
Oh my God. And I was like, I don't know what I was thinking. At 10:00 at night, I started watching Avengers and I thought this would be good on mushrooms. Don't have any. I remember I've got some acid. Fucking like, worst 12 hours in my life. Because what do you do after the the films ended and you've got you've got ten hours left.

00:04:42:06 – 00:05:03:19
You can't sleep on it. There's no sleeping. I just laid in bed in a dark room, which is a terrible idea. Don't do acid. Kids don't do any drugs. But I just thought I'd let you know what I did yesterday. So out of the blue day for me, that is, It sounds like a green day. I was sounds a good day.

00:05:03:21 – 00:05:23:24
So, like sunset. Sunset and, drinking wine mashes, the dosage of that way. Just laughing. I wasn't laughing. The laughing thing doesn't that you need people with you to to have laughing. Yeah, but on your own, I never have. Laughing fits I giggling to myself about stuff. Like when I was walking Frank down, I went. This is mental.

00:05:23:24 – 00:05:41:08
I'm walking an animal. I've got this fucking. But this is what mushroom does. It makes your brain clicking into this. You start thinking about things in ways that you didn't. You don't normally. And I'm walking down the aisle. It's fucking mental of an animal on the lead and it wants to stay with me. It wants to be with me.

00:05:41:08 – 00:06:04:03
It's an animal. What the fuck is I thought about like a cat, a cat, and you got furry animals walking around your house, laying down, licking themselves like it's an animal. And it wants to stay with you. Why? It's fucking crazy. Yeah, I can imagine. I. I've got an animal all along. Yeah, well, that's, what is that all about?

00:06:04:05 – 00:06:25:07
And then. And then I finish the day off by watching legends of the fall with Brad Pitt. Was that any good? No. Shit. I remember watching it as a kid thinking, this is this is good, but tasty. I don't know if it was shit because I was overanalyzing everything. It was dated. This is the film of his time.

00:06:25:07 – 00:06:47:23
I think. We were talking before we started, Rick, about, you know, on Thursday, you post mug shots or you post pictures of me and you. When we were young. Yeah, right. It's a it's a Throwback Thursday on Instagram. If you want to follow us on Instagram lads and on pot. And by the way, we only post these on Instagram and Facebook.

00:06:47:23 – 00:07:05:03
So if you're out there and you're on Twitter and you're waiting for it, you ain't going to see it. So why don't you go on Twitter? Because people might guess. No, because you fucking will stab me in my sleep. Right. So there's some there are many photos from our past. I hate, I hate. Yeah, I look back at them, they make me recoil.

00:07:05:03 – 00:07:27:19
I feel sick looking at them now. 90% of them. Yeah, 90% of them. And and you're just like, actually posting whatever. No matter how much of a pair of creatures we look, you'll post it and go read it. There you go. Well, look at us a little. Never understood it. You've always been like this. But recently, because of the overlap and stuff, I get a lost a lot of stick.

00:07:27:21 – 00:08:07:09
I get a lot of people pick. There's a lot of eyes on you because obviously you do the overlap. TalkSPORT ladbible recent series that you do, you're in the media a lot and it's not kind of like just you're on TV and it's done. It's there are lots of clips, lots of social clips and lots of, clips with virality, you know, where you you say stuff and naturally, but it gets people's backs up because you are going to have a bias for your football team, you know, so or anything like that.

00:08:07:11 – 00:08:29:22
We, we've been talking and obviously me posting these pictures of us from fucking God knows how long ago now, like ten years ago or whatever it. And we do look like creatures and some of them we look totally different. But and I and I get that you're on that you don't want them to go on Twitter because people are sending for you.

00:08:29:24 – 00:08:49:09
I don't, and I'm just giving them am I doing it? Yeah, I don't mind I, I don't mind it, I get it, I don't mind it, but I do get a lot. So we've so we've been talking and you were saying about people commenting on, your parents and it's not very nice and I know I, I get it, man.

00:08:49:09 – 00:09:13:24
If loads of people were sending for me, they were saying shit about me and like, about stuff that, I kind of naturally may question myself about all of that just being horrible to me. I would I would be upset about that. And then I was doing something for the pod yesterday, and I went to click on Lads Anonymous and I clicked on your Twitter profile.

00:09:14:00 – 00:09:35:21
And I was, oh shit, I didn't mean that. And then I read the first tweet, then the second, and then there was just a stream of tweets. I was like, I think I know why people hate you. Flies. You are like a fucking wasp nest on Twitter for Arsenal fans. The stuff you were tweeting, I was fucking crying.

00:09:35:23 – 00:09:59:03
Now of the people are saying never. Yeah, yeah, 100% I know I get I haven't understand it. I, I love posted a picture of Frank dog. That's nice. Yeah, I know, but that's like interspersed between the the fucking. Yeah. Look, I know, I know, no no, no, I deserve it, I deserve it. I'm giving it out.

00:09:59:07 – 00:10:26:05
Deserve it. You up? But you are, Would you call it poking hornet's nest? Yeah, of course I am. And it's not just nice everywhere. I have every opportunity. Everywhere. And people listen to this one. I've been to football, but I don't like Arsenal. I hate them with every fiber of my body. And at 42, I shouldn't. I feel like I should be past hating things that I can't control, but I can't know I really hate them.

00:10:26:07 – 00:10:46:15
And so if I can get under the skin of one of them, then I've done my job. Oh, just one on every day like I've man is somebody beauty. Yet like the I'll get DMs that I've said this elsewhere. But this bloke set up a new account on Instagram the other day and went, you really hate Arsenal, don't you?

00:10:46:17 – 00:11:09:07
Yeah, mate, I thought he's going to be like a wholesome oh, we understand the rivalry. Yeah, yeah. My, I really hate you. I really hate Arsenal I know. Anyway, I hope all your family get sick. Oh, my God, it comes the sons of what we're going to be talking about. Yeah, indeed. Indeed they were. A quick little recap from last week's episode.

00:11:09:09 – 00:11:35:05
Doctor Adnan, as he calls himself. And I love it, I love it. So there is a doctor that listens to this podcast. The things that we send out or questions that we asked, he normally answers them. And I did a kind of, a call out to him last week to say about the the problem of the problem that I and many men across the world have of wet dreams.

00:11:35:07 – 00:11:57:00
How do they happen? How do they stop them? You're like the polar opposite of erectile dysfunction on you. Yeah, massively. If you haven't not been able to get it up right. No, no. Never never always always never in my life. Never always rise to the occasion. Always mate, always rise to the occasion. Your blessed. So, yeah, I know, it's just like it.

00:11:57:02 – 00:12:16:23
Is it because I have too much tea before I go to bed? Is it eating cheese before I go? Why is it that I'm doing? And Doctor Anon has responded, I don't really have much to say on this topic. No one has ever come to come to see me complaining of this issue. It is my professional opinion that you're just a filthy horndog.

00:12:16:23 – 00:12:38:17
Yeah, and you might need to start wearing it. Johnny, before you go to bed. Don't want to have another baby by mistake. Oh, God. Oh, no. Why am I imagine I love your kids more than anything in the world. But a third one. Now that would set the cat amongst the pigeons. It really fucking works. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I couldn't think of.

00:12:38:19 – 00:13:04:01
I wouldn't say anything worse because I can't, but, it would really, it would set me back quite a lot. We had another gentleman that sent in that, the semen demon has, has made the rounds around his gaff. So he starts off by saying, oh, download it here. Good. Thank you very much. Good. Good lad. My wife and I are trying to have a baby.

00:13:04:03 – 00:13:33:02
We're having a, We're having lots of sex in brackets. He's put. Yeah, having lots of sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. Last night I went to bed early, and at 2 a.m., I woke up on the same and just decided to make a visit. I'm so confused because I've been releasing a lot. Like they forever have a wet dream in my life is because I've not had enough sex or wanking, and my body needs to release some fluids every now and then.

00:13:33:04 – 00:13:57:15
Normally, if this happens in life, I slowly get a new pair of briefs quietly and enter the bathroom and clean up and change. I don't know why. Only my dog watches me do the clean up and change, and so far she's kept her word out of it. So that you don't. What do you do that now? I'm thinking, was my wife.

00:13:57:20 – 00:14:20:00
Sorry. Only this time, when I woke up at 2 a.m., my wife was wide awake on her phone. Now I'm. I'm thinking, what's my wife watching? Imagine the face I made upon climax. What if I said the name out loud? She looked at me and said, what's wrong? I had to pretend like nothing had happened and just slept in absolutely soaked boxes all night.

00:14:20:01 – 00:14:41:22
Right, I don't understand. Yeah. What? Why is there this obsession with not letting anyone know? Right? You're happy to come in your wife? Yeah, but the idea of it coming anywhere else, they can't know. Well, it's just embarrassing in it. It's like an adolescent thing. Yeah, it is, but you. Oh, eight years old. I'm 41, said two kids.

00:14:41:22 – 00:14:50:07
I own a house. I have a car. I should be coming myself from a sleazy. Yeah.

00:14:50:09 – 00:15:15:13
That's what I say. It's it's embarrassing, but I quite like that, that this platform is giving, men to talk about, so I just do that. Does it? I don't know if it happens to women. Do women. Okay. Women must have sexy dreams. Yeah, but can women orgasm in their sleep? I'm sure it's happened. That.

00:15:15:19 – 00:15:38:03
Of course they can. Yeah, yeah, let's know. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure they can, but I don't know if it's a regular, And carrot. How many, how many, sexy dreamers reckon we can collect? You know? You know, I'm at the moment trying to collect big men. Yeah, I've got two in Ben Bowman and John Bass.

00:15:38:05 – 00:15:55:08
Yeah, I've got a couple in America as well. We fronted up nice. Yeah. The one one guy. Proby. He's he's one of the guys. Yeah, I know him. Yeah, yeah. I also got a picture sent to me, a DM since me saying, look, if you need big men, there's three of us here. One on the end, six foot nine.

00:15:55:08 – 00:15:59:14
I look him right. Oh, my God, he's massive.

00:15:59:16 – 00:16:19:09
Six. Nine. Six. 950 pounds. One of my mates is six seven and he is massive. So yeah you're like it's the thing right. If you, if I, if I reckon if I've got 7 or 8 right. Or die big men in my life. No, no one can touch me.

00:16:19:11 – 00:16:49:19
No one can touch me. What the. What are you saying? If I had an army of men that that that is in their sleeve. We'll show you where all. We'll just sleep on the streets and start convulsing on the floor again. Yeah, we. Yeah, that's. Sexy James. Diva. We, we had an update from the one of the gents that's, sent something in last week.

00:16:49:21 – 00:17:09:14
The dilemma was called M.I.A. And then if you remember. Yeah. Where a gentleman was with his friendship. Great beard that he met a girl. Yeah. He met a girl. Yeah, he. I think he. I don't know if he moved in with the girl or moved to her location. They've been trying to contact him for six weeks. He's not answering.

00:17:09:14 – 00:17:33:14
Phone goes not answering. Whatsapps. They DM to his new girlfriend. She's read the DM but she's not replied. No one can get. No one can get hold of him. No one knows where he is. No one knows what's going on with numbers. No one knows what's happening. So here's the reply. Just to, provide an update about my dilemma entitled M.I.A.

00:17:33:14 – 00:18:02:01
From the last pod involving my mate Larry, who went missing without explanation. After shooting off the email to you guys, I reached out to Larry, sister to check in. She promptly responded, mentioning that Larry had helped her move at least once a week before. Then, Ben got word from Larry's girlfriend, who's assured us he was okay, but feeling a bit down.

00:18:02:03 – 00:18:32:24
Later that evening, Ben made one last attempt to reach Larry and finally they connected. They had a heart to heart and Larry opened up about what had been bothering him. It's quite a saga and not exactly podcast material, but here's the gist. Ben got to Rudy during his birthday bash in early March, ending up in some drunken roughhousing that resulted in him accidentally hitting Larry and another friend's partner in the stomach.

00:18:33:01 – 00:18:59:14
Larry initially brushed the off, but as time passed, it starts gnaw at him, so he opted for some, So he opted for some space until things settle down. Eventually, they hashed out Larry, apologize for the silence, and we all had a fantastic night catching up at the pub. Thanks for your concern, boys. Luckily it didn't get to me having to beat up his dad, which was that was

00:18:59:16 – 00:19:19:15
Then, if you remember, our advice was to, to flush him out, smoke him out to answering his phone so that you get a guy so we decided that this guy, random friend that you going to beat up is dad. Phil, that played on the internet. Was that our advice? But it was, Yeah, buddy. Is that.

00:19:19:17 – 00:19:37:09
Well, I thought he was dead. They they met him in person. Did they? It wasn't just text messages. Yeah, I think that I think they have met him in person. Said they met up at the pub and they had a fantastic night. You know what that is? That is why if you're upset about something, you just want to ignore them for six weeks.

00:19:37:11 – 00:20:02:05
Yeah, I don't, I reckon I reckon the message got in his ear. Yeah, yeah I reckon Larry's actually fine with it. Poison the poison though, didn't he. Yeah. She poison made him angry about something he wasn't angry about. You should be really angry about this. I know I'm not really, but anyway, there's two. Actually, I'm just going to go straight to the.

00:20:02:07 – 00:20:20:01
There was two pranks. I was going to read them out, but timing all that. Yeah, because we did go into pranks. But I just felt this this was I wasn't sure where I was going to read this because this was a bit like G too much when I first read it. It was too much, but I'm going to read it anyway, right?

00:20:20:03 – 00:20:51:14
Because people want to hear it. Rugby Rose this is what this is called. And you know, yeah, what's going to happen. Cardiff Uni girls rugby team initiation goes goes. I have a mate who planned on joining Cardiff Uni girls rugby team until they found out the initiation, which has since been banned, they would line up the new players, get them to strip naked on their lower half.

00:20:51:16 – 00:21:20:10
I've put tissue underneath them. They would have them watch lesbian porn and see who got the wettest on the tissue. Whoever was the wettest would have to get all the tissue juices in a glass and drink them. End of the initiation. That is what is. So rugby does it to girls as well? Apparently. So you are. He's getting horned up in that scenario.

00:21:20:13 – 00:21:45:14
See, this is this is. I'm glad. I'm glad that you've brought this up because I read this. And first of all, I was really taken aback that that is that's fucking number one. It's disgusting. I mean, I get initiations, I and I will stick my finger up someone's bomber's initiation if they're happy and I'm happy, that's fine. This felt like this has gone too far.

00:21:45:16 – 00:22:11:04
And then I thought, I'm not sure I believe it. If I am, if I have to line up with five other lads and there's porn being played. Yeah, like, I know I said earlier in this, I will get hard for anything and and any scenario, but in that one I'm not quite so sure. Now, even when, even if, even if I'm at the football, there is zero chance.

00:22:11:06 – 00:22:36:01
If I'm going to the football and I'm in a urinal with 20 other men, but I'm just I'm not giving it a flick. Make sure you're white, lad. Look lively. Don't want to like I, can you imagine why I don't think. Yeah. Us men. Everyone on the Fighting Cock podcast in a room with their t shirts on, but nothing below.

00:22:36:03 – 00:23:03:14
Correct? Right. And then someone whack some porn on. And the last one to get an erection loses. That's the gist of it. Yeah. I'd never, I'd never. But then as well, the person with the wettest tissue. I mean, like how, how much boy, I don't honestly, I don't anyone. Yeah. I don't even want to talk about this anymore.

00:23:03:16 – 00:23:30:01
Let's move on. Disgusted by it. All needs to play fucking rugby as well. I know if it was like, oh, I'll give you a grand after or £50 do this and you get £50 for the Olympics. Maybe there is a balance there. Right. But the. Yeah, the prize is playing rugby as shit. So rubbish it is, it is.

00:23:30:03 – 00:23:55:16
Before we get into the podcast today, the people who were listening to that's anonymous screen grabbing it, tagging us on Instagram and posting it on their stories. They are the fucking lads. They are the lads. That's how it's going to grow. So if you carry on doing that, we will carry on sharing your stories. So when you're listening to that, we'd love to see.

00:23:55:17 – 00:24:16:23
When you're listening, how you're listening, what you're listening on. Just take a screengrab, share it in Instagram Stories, tag us in and we'll we share the stories. And I have noticed that if you've got a private account, we don't get the notification through. So it feel free to do that. Take the screengrab, send it to us in the DM and we'll just share anyway.

00:24:16:23 – 00:24:45:00
But we just want to see you do the screengrab, tag us and share it on your story. So thank you for doing that. And there's been loads and I just want to see more. We want more. We always want more. Love it. Now let's jump in to today's topic. Today's topic is health and health. And as I write today's topic is health and health is right.

00:24:45:00 – 00:25:06:24
You fucking me. I don't know why we have to do this, Ricky. What does it matter? Because I like it. We've got a new jingle coming up. Motorpoint. No. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. We. I've got a new jingle. Will stay they'll stay for it. Yeah. But we talking about health anxieties. I don't like the term health anxiety.

00:25:06:24 – 00:25:46:20
Well I know it's just been like, What? No, no. You know, well, right. Oh, I am going to, I'm going to read these out. Okay. This is what the NHS is about, right? Constantly worrying about your health. Frequently check your body for signs of illness, such as lumps, tingling or pain. Always asking people for reassurance that you're not ill, worrying that a doctor or medical test may have missed something.

00:25:46:22 – 00:26:21:12
Obsessively looking at health information on the internet or in the media. Avoid anything to do with serious illness, such as medical TV programs. Act as if you were ill, for example, avoiding physical activities. Anxiety itself can cause symptoms like headaches or racing heartbeat as you make a mistake for these signs of illness. Now what do you hate? The term health anxiety because it's just a part of being alive, being sentient, being aware of your body and your mortality.

00:26:21:12 – 00:26:49:12
That is what health like. It's just normal to worry about these things every body does. No one is bowling around going and then and never thinking about their health, ever. Everybody is. When you were when we were young whippersnappers, like when we were like, even just taking it back to the boozy London days, did you think about your health then?

00:26:49:14 – 00:27:17:24
Yeah, I had a massive body then. I just had that bit of a frog. But. I always did a little sideways burp again. No no no no no no I love this, I love this. The yeah man I did I did I had a pretty much a fucking mental health bar. Not breakdown as too much, but I had mad bouts of panic about about getting sick and ill and dying.

00:27:17:24 – 00:27:46:10
Yeah. I think everybody goes through that process at some stage. I remember having the most extreme anxiety that I've ever had in my life, in my, in my mid 20s between for me. Yeah, I think so. For me, the mid the decade of 20 to 30 that those ten years for, for people, the most difficult certainly were for me was that was that pre or post kind of parting.

00:27:46:12 – 00:28:07:16
It was mid I'm not saying I was, was B8 was I was able to function. I went to school, went to work rather and and still went out but they had their moments where I'd be like yeah, mad, mad panic. But I wasn't, I wasn't conscious of, I wasn't thinking about things wrong with my body. I was more thinking about, you know, how long I've got.

00:28:07:18 – 00:28:32:16
Right? Okay. That's a that's a different thing, isn't it? But, well, and we'll we'll get to that in a, in a little bit. So like back in those days, I, I didn't really think about shit like that. I didn't take vitamins. I didn't do anything like that. It was just I went out, played paracetamol. Didn't eat the right things, drink the right things.

00:28:32:20 – 00:29:09:03
It wasn't in my psyche at that point, I guess, when I was younger. But now I am 41. You're 42. What regimes? Lotions. Potions? Tablets? This. That you taking at the moment? You know, you just think this is all that stuff is bullshit. No, no. What are you doing? What am I doing? So I was. I've done a number of things.

00:29:09:03 – 00:29:42:13
Really. So I was underneath it. Like for the people that don't know, I've had, like, this weird stomach issue that's lasted for years. And I'll. I'll go into that later. But I take one of those fizzy vitamin C drinks every morning. I, I used to I've stopped taking them recently. Omega three tablets. Yeah. Because I don't, I don't have I don't eat any fish.

00:29:42:15 – 00:30:18:11
I don't eat anything from the sea. I, I don't eat anything from water, basically, because it's absolutely fucking disgusting. That's why. So I need to get those that oil from somewhere else. I was taking just a regular a-to-z vitamin. I was taking. I used to take, What the fuck? Milk thistle tablets for my liver. I used to take shit, man.

00:30:18:13 – 00:30:47:12
Vitamin D, because I don't get enough sun on my skin. I also used to take, I think I think generally around, I used to take a probiotic tablet for the though. What is it you think you were doing? I think I was probably just making myself healthy. Any natural vitamins that were. Or minerals that were missing from my body.

00:30:47:18 – 00:31:08:17
But I'm was like, maybe not getting enough sleep and it wasn't producing enough, and this and that and the other, I don't know, I, I, I was, I was heavily into taking a lot. I love stripped a lot of it out. Now I mainly just take the vitamin C fizzy drink every morning. Have a essence. Yeah. Yep.

00:31:08:19 – 00:31:33:17
And then, I take one vitamin D tablet on a Monday. Look, I don't mind. Do whatever you think. Especially if you think. If it makes you think it's helping, I'm sure is helping. But I, I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack.

00:31:33:17 – 00:32:05:14
What? Doing some stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. Fuck off. Oh, really? After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleansing lotion that you read in the shower. I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply hub mint facial mask, which I leave on for ten minutes while I prepare for the rest of my routine.

00:32:05:16 – 00:32:31:24
You're fucking lining. Yeah, yeah. This is the opening paragraph of American Psycho. One of my favorite books. I heard you. I heard you described it on a podcast the other day. What? The book. Americans? Yeah. The book. And you said it had, like, a, abstract front cover. Yeah. Like, it was like a painting, like a Francis Bacon style.

00:32:32:01 – 00:32:53:06
Why? Yeah, why you bring it up? Because, I have that book. It's amazing that is your ID? No, it's your book. Is it? Can I have your back? No one was like. I showed it to Amalie. Oh no, said my daughter's voice. Name. My. Who is? Right. Okay, I'm assuming. Oh, all can beep beep here.

00:32:53:08 – 00:33:12:12
Yeah, yeah, I saw it. I, showed it to my daughter, because I listened to the podcast, and I was laughing with her that you mention it and I think you said you didn't know where it was. I had it because you learned it. I must have brought it. It's not that easy in my book. Is Ross's book.

00:33:12:14 – 00:33:28:21
Well, I think I'm gonna give that back to me now. I'm going to message him. I will, of course. I'll give it back. I just thought it's funny. Don't let her pick that book up. That's not suitable for kids. It's not. You think. What? What fucking amazing book bag it is, man. It's so good. It's what it is.

00:33:29:01 – 00:33:55:01
It's up there. My. I'd say my clutch of books are my favorites. I'd say that's up there. But then some people reading listen to this will go. Really? It's fucking sick. It really is sick. But it's a great book anyway. Sorry, I can't remember. I did, I take a, I do, I use Ag1, okay. For real.

00:33:55:01 – 00:34:16:11
Well thank you. Well, they might sponsor the podcast, so I don't want to say too much about them, but. Okay. It's essentially a, it's it's a drink, a powder that goes into cold water and you drink it before on an empty stomach every morning. And I don't typically believe in all that shit, really, but this stuff does.

00:34:16:14 – 00:34:34:07
It genuinely makes me feel better. Just more. You just feel lighter and concentrated and, you know, it doesn't take a hangover or anything like that. So if you're drinking and you know, not sleeping, right, it's not like a miracle cure. But if you're if you feel like you're in a good place, that's sort of for me anyway.

00:34:34:07 – 00:34:57:05
It works. I don't know, some people say it's a jawbone set up, but the, so I do, I do, I do that, but they send it to me for free because they sponsor the fighting cock, so I don't pay for it. So it's like, I don't it's not. It's quite an investment if you're, you know, if you're looking to do it yourself, but it does genuinely help.

00:34:57:05 – 00:35:20:17
And I find that that it's, there's a psychological aspect because, you know, you're putting in a complete your complete intake of vitamins and whatnot. You need a day in one drink. So I'm sure two people out. Again, that's bullshit. But it makes me feel better. That's all that matters. Really? Yeah. Just quickly as well what we're talking about vitamins and all of that.

00:35:20:23 – 00:35:50:00
There's this pandemic that's I in in America where you're prescribed like a tablet for your anxiety. And then they say all your heart is racing while you're on it. So they prescribe them something else. Then it's prescribe something. Now it's because of those side effects. Yeah. What is your what's your view on medication to try and help you with something.

00:35:50:00 – 00:36:15:15
Well control because in England normally it's like oh if you've got anxiety or depression or something like that, if you, if you considered going for a run. Yeah. In, in, in England it's hard to get medicine. Yeah. But in because we have the NHS. Right. So there's not a it's not incentivized. So selling medicine prescribing medicine isn't incentivize is in America.

00:36:15:16 – 00:36:41:18
There's a big business in America. Whereas in the NHS it gets paid for out of our taxes. So there's no there's no benefit to overprescribing medicine because ultimately it cost the Treasury and it costs us. So it's a different set up. It's more healthy set up. I know I've never taken that the depressant. I've never been prescribed any kind of medicine to help me treat anything that I would.

00:36:41:19 – 00:37:06:03
I would trust, the doctors know what they did. But I don't believe that mental health issues, in my experience, and I've, I've been quite close to it for a long, long time. Like my previous partner had severe mental health issues and, and we dealt with it over many, many years. And for period she was on antidepressants.

00:37:06:03 – 00:37:33:06
But it didn't help that anything really helps regulate her mood and, ups and downs. But it didn't deal with any of the issues as she created the problem. So while in America, you know, wherever it is, that role, all antidepressant or whatever medicine they give might be helpful. It, you know, might help in the short term. Fundamentally, counseling and talking is the way the way forward.

00:37:33:06 – 00:37:58:08
I think like, I this is quite a few years ago now, many years ago, with my anxiety, I was prescribed antidepressants, I think, and I took those for like two years, maybe two. I didn't even know that. Yeah, yeah. And, I was back I was in Milton Keynes at that point. I think I may have been in Milton Keynes at that point.

00:37:58:08 – 00:38:18:15
I can't remember now, but I find it really hard to get off of them because I kept getting these really weird hot zaps like, so I would quit cold turkey. Yeah. Then I was getting these really these like electrical kind of hearts out, but I wasn't. Yeah, it was like it was like a palpitation. It was so fucking weird.

00:38:18:19 – 00:38:40:24
So I would keep taking them again because I didn't want to feel that. So it kept make me take them again. And I saw a video from Lemmy. Right. And Lemmy was taking the same medication and he was I searched for it on the internet, couldn't find anything. He said the exact same thing. But he said after six weeks it will flatline and you won't feel anything.

00:38:40:24 – 00:38:59:09
So keep going forward of it. And I thought, Lemmy, like, that's what you're telling me, was, this is, this is, this is where I get my bike. So I did it and I paired with a band with it. And literally on the stroke of six weeks, the heart zap stopped and I was able to come off it. So you was scared that there was something wrong with you?

00:38:59:11 – 00:39:23:06
I wasn't scared, so yeah, I think I was. There was. Oh yeah. Yeah. And but why was I happening? And also I came off the because because I wanted to, I wanted to feel good, you know, I mean, I didn't want, I didn't want to have anything. I wanted to get to the bottom of it. There's a culture of us running away from your problems and not confronting why you feel the way you do.

00:39:23:08 – 00:40:00:10
You know, there's this idea that people have a problem with alcohol isn't just because they want to. It's, you know, feel the feeling of being drunk. It's a way of coping or or supplement and, with something that's causing you to develop this harmful habit. There's tons of stuff out there about it, but I don't. I, then I go, I, I, I just when you were saying that like my, the things I'm not, I don't like, I'll happily take anything that the doctor gave me because of all the stuff I took off the streets.

00:40:00:12 – 00:40:28:11
Yeah, like pills and like, like when I went to Amsterdam. Cough. I must be about ten years ago now. And I did so much MDMA in the space of four days that I, I thought when I, when I got home that I would I had fundamentally changed the wiring of my brain. I thought that I will never feel normal again.

00:40:28:13 – 00:40:53:15
Basically what happened is I, all the time, Rick, all the time I was getting zaps in my brain, I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. Right. And I'm lying in bed trying to sleep and my it feels like I'm being electrocuted in my brain. And at no point did I think something wrong with me. I didn't worry about it at all.

00:40:53:15 – 00:41:15:14
I just thought this is a bad come down. It was like being electrocuted in your head. I since found out that the excessive use of MDMA can cause, like these brain zaps. It lasted a week. I thought I was never going to be normal again. Do you know what fixed it? Take it more. MDMA didn't have a pill on the Friday.

00:41:15:16 – 00:41:47:23
It took it right? Oh my God. See, this is the difference between me and you. And this is why I wanted to get back to this other part of this conversation, right? With health anxiety. Because there has been I don't know how many times you've talked me off a ledge with my health hang ups. There's been there's been quite a few, but I was for for anyone that doesn't know, I, on previous podcast, I said about I had, an endoscopy.

00:41:48:00 – 00:42:08:07
And then on Friday, I had to go for a second one, but they were doing, an ultrasound of my pancreas getting good at taking things in the throat and. Yeah, yeah. No, man. So this one was a bit more intense. The first one was 15 minutes. This one was 45 minutes. Fuck. 45 minutes. 45 minutes. My 45 minutes.

00:42:08:07 – 00:42:31:01
Having a rummage downstairs. Well, and you've been sedated. Are you aware of what's happening to that? No. No. And, so the first one, I was sedated, but I was watching everything on the the fucking widescreen TV, watching them in my stomach. Can you put my eyes? Yeah. You can't. It's so weird. It's so fucking. And they just send it down your fingers.

00:42:31:03 – 00:43:06:19
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's mad. It is so weird. And, you know, cracking and choking. No, no. None of that. Wow. And then, so. Yeah. As it's going down as I thought all you got, is it. Oh. So the second time. Yeah, I was like, do you know what it's going to be for long? This one, I just as soon as they did the put the drugs in, they said, you're going to start to feel a bit woozy.

00:43:06:19 – 00:43:21:24
And I was looking at the screen and I thought, you know what? It's going to shut my eyes and just kind of go with it. And then the next thing I knew, I woke up and I was being wheeled out and it was fine. I didn't remember any of it. I just remember the mental in it. Yeah. It's crazy.

00:43:21:24 – 00:43:42:09
You look you look your thing. Where? Three. I was gone. Exactly. Yeah. And I, I just remember them saying, here's the drugs. I can feel it moving up my arm and then I can feel it hit me. And I was just like, God, man, this feels so good. And it's just lying there. And then I was just like, I could feel myself going.

00:43:42:11 – 00:44:04:01
I was like, this is why they do. Heroin is so good. It is amazing. But yeah, so I had that done and I said, got my results free. I'm not going to talk about that. I had a kind of a meltdown, and I was on the phone to my mum, and I was like. What? Like what?

00:44:04:02 – 00:44:23:07
Why does all these things not. Why do all these things happen to me? Why do I spiral right? Why do I when something a bit of bad news happens, I go from getting the news and then I go straight to ten and I go right to the end of the worst possible scenarios. And, I was chatting to her.

00:44:23:07 – 00:44:52:12
Did you Google straight away as well? No, I didn't, I just I wanted to stay away from all of that at that point. So then, we were just having a chat and I said to her about that, I have these health hang ups about, you know, what could happen to me? These health anxieties, relatable part. And then I was like, I think I'm gonna go and do some, hypnotherapy because I have a fear of flying.

00:44:52:14 – 00:45:17:15
I have a fear of health anxieties. I have another fear of this other thing. And she said, Rick. And I was like, what? She said, you don't you don't have the fear of flying. And I was like, what? She said, you don't have a fear of flying. I and I was like, well, who are you to tell me what I have a fucking fear of?

00:45:17:19 – 00:45:46:03
You know what I mean? I was like, well, who I did. Did she not know about it? If you never mentioned it that way? She does know about it, right? She knows about it and then have anxieties. And then she said, you have a fear of death. Yeah. And I was like, you know, in it his name, Alan, in The Hangover way, the meme of all the, the kind of, mathematic equations a guy in front of his face and he's, like, trying to work something out.

00:45:46:03 – 00:46:09:21
Yeah. And it was like all these things were aligning in my brain when she said that. And I was like, fuck, she's right. I have a massive fear of dying and all of these health anxieties, the fear of flying, all those other things. Yeah, hugely. Just it that's what it is. Yeah. It's not the fear of being in a plane.

00:46:09:21 – 00:46:31:03
It's the fear of exploding in a fireball. That's. Yeah, I know, but it was just that. But it has helped me. It has helped me. Because it's one thing, isn't it? It's one that is. Exactly. Yeah. It's not all of these things that you're. You're scared. No, it's one you're right, you're right. That's exactly what it was.

00:46:31:03 – 00:46:54:07
And now I can kind of focus on that. And maybe if I can find peace with that or maybe if I go back to counseling about that or hypnotherapy, whatever way I decide to try and tackle that. But I didn't know that it was such a thorn in my side and in my psyche, and it also brought this thing back.

00:46:54:09 – 00:47:15:15
No one knows this, but I this is the first time I'm ever telling anyone about this. When I was like between 9 and 11, I remember it clearly. I was on holiday, I was in Spain, I was with my cousins ring, my nan's front room, and we were talking about death, dying. What happens when you go all of that stuff?

00:47:15:20 – 00:47:50:16
And all of a sudden I ran to the kitchen sink and just spewed everywhere, really. And I had worked myself up so much thinking about it that it just something just came out and they, we put it down to. I had eaten something, but I knew what it was. I didn't tell anyone. Yeah, terrified. So thinking back to that, with all my health anxieties of what happens there, flying, all that other stuff, it it's one of those things that I just didn't realize that was there.

00:47:50:16 – 00:48:15:06
Do you know what I mean? Right. Yeah. And now I do realize, and we've spoken about some of this stuff before, but I couldn't I couldn't piece it all together. And now I kind of have. But you're really good. What's the about compartmentalizing stuff like that? Like about health when you've talked me off a ledge? You mean when you're.

00:48:15:06 – 00:48:34:09
You was complaining that there was. We wasn't complaining. You mention it. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Complaining. You know what I mean? It means you're in pain. And you had this thing with your tummy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're going, like you said, you go from you go to ten and you and you're like, oh, great, I've got cancer.

00:48:34:09 – 00:48:57:07
Brilliant. Fine. Yeah. You think knew it. Knew it. Yeah. And that is an abnormal thing to do. That's it's a completely understandable thing to do, Rick. But it if it's not happening to you is easier to be pragmatic about it and just think what you're suggesting is so much less likely than the than the reality of what the situation is.

00:48:57:07 – 00:49:23:04
Right? So you someone might have a stomach ulcer, but they think it's stomach cancer. When you look statistically at people your age, the chances of that actually being cancer would mean you'd be incredibly unlucky. And it's much more likely to be something that isn't cancer. And so and so it's it's easy to it's easier to explain that when it isn't happening to you and it's happening.

00:49:23:06 – 00:49:47:22
It's not happening to me. It's happening to you. So I can I can talk to you about it. And then the like, even. Why, there's someone close to me. They did a scan on her and she got a scan and they found lumps and, Yeah, twice in a year. It's happened to two separate people that are super close to me that did the scans, they did the MRI's.

00:49:47:24 – 00:50:12:24
They found some stuff terrified everyone for. Oh, my God, this is awful. This is terrible. Yeah. Everyone thinking the worst. And it turns out it was nothing. It was, it was there was, a tumor, but it was it was benign. It wasn't. And it never will will be anything other than that. And that, like the chance of it becoming an issue with very small.

00:50:12:24 – 00:50:40:05
So she doesn't have to worry about it. That was always the reality. That was always the truth. But because I've been so scared and so it's so scary, you, your brain will ignore the the the ignore the the most likely scenario and go straight to the the scariest one. Which is why when you you feel like a pain in your so you've got you've got a pain in your stomach or in your knee joint.

00:50:40:05 – 00:51:02:03
Right? I once had, I was like, I told you a story. I had, for our dates once talked. I think I told that story on this podcast, but but I had this glands in your cheeks right? Glands in your cheeks. And this is what I'm much younger. Much, much, much. Oh, yeah. You can feel Amanda. They're like.

00:51:02:05 – 00:51:24:09
They're like glands. I can't remember what glands you are, but you're in the cheeks. And I felt them for the first time back then, and I was like, that's weird. Why can I feel lumps in my face? Straight to Google eight. Good desk confirmation. Yeah, I've got these. Is, turns out completely normal. Just my very mild infection.

00:51:24:09 – 00:51:47:07
Glands are up. Nothing I haven't got, I got tested. The thing is, when you, Sorry, sorry. I got another example of something a bit more trite. Is I had a roast dinner, and we made. If we bought, we got some beetroot, raw, raw beetroot from the supermarket and cooked it up and ate it. We had a thing.

00:51:47:07 – 00:52:12:00
And then the next morning I went down at a purple nappy and fucking red carrots everywhere. I'm pissing red, I'm shitting red. I'm like, I so I know how to how to poop. And I looked down red nose I oh my God, that's blood. And then about five minutes I had to piss blood, life blood out of both.

00:52:12:00 – 00:52:33:08
That's not good. I'm like, fuck, that's really bad. I think I might be dying anyway. I sat down genuinely. I was on my own 7:00 in the morning. This was like a year ago. Break, 7:00 in the morning. And I'm like, how do I tell everybody I'm not ready? I've got so many plans I need. This is going to disrupt people's lives.

00:52:33:13 – 00:52:58:00
I need to be there for the kids. Wife. Yeah. I cannot this cannot be happening. And I looked down and I saw fucking beetroot on the plate from the night before. I'm like, oh, for fuck's sake, it's beetroot. It was always beetroot. It was always fucking beetroot. And the point of this is make sure it's always beetroot. The point is, there is absolutely no value in catastrophizing a situation without knowing.

00:52:58:00 – 00:53:26:00
In fact, it's more damaging. So if you're able to and it isn't easy and just go yeah, it could be that. But most likely ain't. So until I know it's that I'm going to go with the healthier option or the or the more wholesome option, because the reality is it is what it is. And you can't change. You can't change it, but you can change the way you react to it and live in that, this, this, this space where it's likely okay, nothing to worry about because what difference does it make?

00:53:26:00 – 00:53:44:16
It either happens or it doesn't. It's the same. But I can't rationalize like that when I'm on a plane. Yeah, but I do say if it goes down, it goes down. Something you can do about it is the same thing as what I'm saying with health. But that's that's not a great way to go, is it? So yes.

00:53:44:18 – 00:54:11:15
So I think I and I'm fine with that. Maybe, if anyone's listening to this and obviously the, the fear of dying or anything like that, if you've had any hypnotherapy, if you've had any, if you've read any books, if you've navigated your way through this, then send it into the pod, lads. Anon pod at gmail.com. That'd be good.

00:54:11:17 – 00:54:40:20
And obviously we'll read it out and help other people out next week. Yeah, Rick, there is so much out there to help with, specifically the fear of death. I reckon the fear of death is easily the biggest anxiety that everybody has easily by a country mile. You are so normal, Rick. What you're what you're feeling is so normal that, you're it will be abnormal if you walk around and have no fear of it is you.

00:54:40:24 – 00:55:03:02
There's nothing wrong with the way you're thinking. I think about it. I think about it, all the time, like, oh, all the time. Ricky, I was driving the other day. Yesterday I was driving. I'm Guy and fucking with this for the mushrooms. The fucking weird, isn't it? Like everybody and then. And I think we should put a trigger warning at the start of this part.

00:55:03:04 – 00:55:36:11
Okay. Or anything, because this is, this is a lot of people. Not everyone's, as open to hearing these things, but. Everybody on this planet has to confront the same thing. The unanswerable question. We don't. We'll never know until we know we're all in it together. All of us. All of us are in it together. And hundreds, if not millions of people have done it before us.

00:55:36:13 – 00:55:54:09
Yeah. So if we're all in the same boat, isn't that comforting? Isn't that. Nuh So, like, to me, I'm like, well, no, everyone's gotta go for it. I can either go for it as well. So it's, I don't want to. I want to stick around for as long as possible. I want to see everything my kids do.

00:55:54:09 – 00:56:16:09
I want to see everything I want to just to stay on this earth. To make my wife as happy as possible for as long as possible. And if I want to do that, I need to make some changes. I need to lose weight. I need to drink a lot less than I do. But you can't. It's it's so it's just happening to everybody.

00:56:16:11 – 00:56:33:06
I'm just. I'm a bit really worried about. I mean, the fucking the pussy out. But, Rick, there's tons of therapy out there. Tons of. And really effective stuff. I reckon. She's definitely look to be interesting for this podcast. If you can do so. Yeah. Yeah, I'm I'm definitely, definitely going to do that. On a lighter night.

00:56:33:08 – 00:57:00:23
Thank Christ. Yeah. Let's jump in to some dilemmas and things only you know. Well, guess what's coming, Rick. God, they jingle it. Oh, just, just. And you got an issue for a tissue. You're a bit sad cause Penguin kissed you. Are you aching in your soul, alone in your flat? Please talk to Ricky. Flat head. Let that stress off your chest.

00:57:01:00 – 00:57:25:19
Well, friend, you deserve to play like you're safe here to get nice warm between Ricky, your land. Yes. Our engineer out. How good is that? It's quite possibly the best thing I've ever heard. It's so good. And the thing is, he's like. Oh, I asked him to do it. That's the first thing you come back with.

00:57:25:23 – 00:57:45:05
And I was like, perfect. That's perfect. Don't need to change anything if you like that. And like all the jingles, go and pay it forward back and listen to Alex's music. Find him on Spotify. Alex Cantwell, Alexander Cantwell on Spotify I never listen to him. There's like, I don't know how many. There's 5 or 6000 people that listen to this podcast.

00:57:45:07 – 00:58:03:06
Yeah, 100 of you just go and listen to his music and make a massive difference. And I'll tell you why. It will make a massive difference is because he you. When you're an artist on Spotify, you have to gauge it by how many monthly listeners you have, how many people come back each month to listen at the moment is around 700, which is amazing.

00:58:03:08 – 00:58:31:24
Yeah. So if 100 or 245, 6000 people are listening to this, go and listen to his music. Not only do you get something out of it, but he will sees you'll see his monthly listeners shoot up and it'll make him feel amazing. So Alexandra Campbell on any of Lads anonymous social. In our links you'll see our Linktree. We we link directly to to his Spotify.

00:58:32:04 – 00:58:59:01
It's so fucking easy to find. It's so easy to do. Follow him, have a listen, pay it forward, support. Right. This dilemma is it too late, too late, too late. And if I ever needed you, would you be there? That's fucking giving me out of anxiety, right? Ricky, I need I need Ricky, mate. We talked about this on the podcast.

00:58:59:01 – 00:59:20:21
Go back and listen to this. And for I'm just going to say quickly, I need that tape. I need the tape of your your sixth form media project that you recreated a video for to like see, like. And if I ever needed you, would you be like, you know, what song is that? Is it too late? Yeah, it's too late by this rate.

00:59:20:22 – 00:59:41:20
Too late, too late. Anyway, I need the tape. Give me the tape. Never highlights. Love the pod. Best thing to listen to on a Monday morning. Got a bit of a soppy one for you today. I met a girl that I really liked last year and didn't do anything about it, even though she liked me as well in brackets.

00:59:41:22 – 01:00:06:07
I found out recently, and now I think it's too late to do anything about it. Of course it's it's hard because I like, like I said, this is someone I like. And even though I had the chance to talk to her a few months ago when I saw her again, I almost go into my into my self whenever I'm around her and become a bit awkward.

01:00:06:09 – 01:00:24:19
I have this problem. When I like someone, I always go into my shell and I don't really know how to talk to them. If I don't really like someone, I'm fine talking to them and I find it much easier to pull them. I know this email is a little all over the place, so sorry about that. It's all right, mate.

01:00:24:19 – 01:00:51:13
We we got the gist. There's this. A lady that you like fancy the. You recently found out she feels the same way too. But you you don't know if enough time has passed and you always feel a bit awkward around the. You're a, he feels awkward around her because he likes her. And he hasn't asked her because he fears the rejection and it being the end.

01:00:51:13 – 01:01:23:08
So if you don't ask, there's always that possibility. There is. But if, you know, it doesn't make any sense to me. If, you know, she knows she likes you, you like her. What is stopping you from just messaging going, hey, start with a normal conversation. If she's interested in you, she will reply 100% quickly, properly. I know that said, when I met my wife I would text her and it would be like 5 or 6 hours and then she text back and I'm like, well, yeah, this is when we first met.

01:01:23:10 – 01:01:41:13
If you asked her about that. Yeah. But no. Yeah, I understand it completely now. It's just what she what she's like. So she wasn't doing it. She wasn't playing gay? No, not at all. Not at all. Not in a not in the slightest. At the time, I was like, is she playing a game? Yeah, because she's leaving me hanging.

01:01:41:13 – 01:02:05:08
Not on. I don't even think you had written it. Don't think it was like message. I don't think that was a thing. But I'm like, we just met. We'd hooked up. I was into her. She's on holiday. I'm on holiday. What the fuck? She's doing one. She's looking at her phone. Why isn't she takes me back? Well, my mad here is this.

01:02:05:10 – 01:02:19:21
And it works. Like the more she didn't text back, the more I'm like, fuck, man, this is. I need to find out what's happening here. All it is, is that's what she's like. Even to this day. She might not look at a WhatsApp for like eight hours in a day, like mad. I'm looking at it like fucking every five minutes.

01:02:19:23 – 01:02:38:14
Yeah, it's just who she is. She's super laid back and relaxed and obviously confident in her ability that I wasn't going to be dissuaded by it. So anyway, so what I'm trying to put in my mention that is if she doesn't text, that might be the reason. She might be one of them ones. But yeah, just you've got to reach out to her if you like her and you don't do this.

01:02:38:14 – 01:02:59:10
This is on you. Don't be a fool. Yeah, and, like, it's not like the old days where you have to tell them face to face. Yeah, that was I just. Well, not. Yeah, if you want. Yeah. Just a cheeky little WhatsApp. Just, you know, chocolate chuckle line out. See what you get back. Hey, how you doing? Yeah, exactly.

01:02:59:10 – 01:03:23:19
I get that back and forth a bit about that Gavin. Yeah. Yeah exactly. Yeah. Listen you're going to potentially not end up in a relationship you want to. And she clearly she does if you if that's true for what you're going to miss out on all that great stuff. What because you're too scared to to to to to speak to her.

01:03:23:19 – 01:03:43:04
That's ridiculous. You have to because you're suffering. If you don't, you have to. And if there's any takeaway from this pod, we're all going to die, right? So just fucking do it right. Just fucking do it. Do it honestly. You can have it. You can have rejection for about ten minutes and then just get on with your life.

01:03:43:05 – 01:04:06:19
Like, just fucking do it. I don't care, right? Stop. Yeah. Stop being a baby about it. Just as you're hearing this. Pick your phone up. Open up. WhatsApp, send a message. Hey. Hi. How you doing? That's it. Start with that. Yeah. It won't be weird. She won't think. Why is he texting me? Who is this? What does he want?

01:04:06:20 – 01:04:20:03
She'd be like, Wicked. He started texting me. He's back. Yeah. He's back. Let us know how you get on as well. Yeah, I want I want you to be giving her a large portion.

01:04:20:05 – 01:04:24:06
Within two weeks.

01:04:24:08 – 01:04:44:10
Lovely. The next one. Where do we go from here? It's a bit long, conscious of time, so I'm going to be doing a bit of a paraphrasing for this one. So my, my ex and I just split up after just under a year of going out with one another, a new from date 1 or 2 that she had epilepsy at that time.

01:04:44:15 – 01:05:13:07
She was really pushing herself to me up and didn't tell me until later on just how much it affected her. She was later diagnosed with another chronic condition that was causing her all sorts of other symptoms. When we would go out, she's liable to have seizures. She suffered from extreme fatigue and was basically reacting to every food she ate, causing bad rashes on her skin and feeling fatigued, migraines and sick for days.

01:05:13:09 – 01:05:35:02
Within a month of our relationship, I was in hospital twice with what they thought may have been a twisted testicle. It wasn't twisted, so they cut me open for no reason and they failed to stitch me back up properly. So I was back at home on my sofa, soaking in my own boob blood. Oh my lord, yeah, I know, I know where that is.

01:05:35:08 – 01:05:56:18
Is this about him or is this about. Yeah. No. And I get back to, well, we'll get back to my girlfriend was with me throughout and it was a real bonding experience. She saw me with literal shit on my ass with toilet paper stuck up my asshole, because I decided to take laxatives to soften my stools to ease the pressure down there.

01:05:56:19 – 01:06:25:15
All right. I was wondering, well, what was that? All whilst bleeding from my balls and waiting for the paramedics to arrive. Now I'm going to be paraphrasing this bit. So this this relationship that he's had with this lady, she has some serious, serious health issues. Eppo, she's got some kind of no, I wouldn't say eating disorder, but it's, you know, a lot of the stuff.

01:06:25:15 – 01:06:55:17
Yeah. She. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. It's tough. I've got migraines. She's recently moved away as well. So, her train journey to get there would be four hours, which is a schlep within itself. But this is the first time that this gentleman has had a relationship at 28 years old. And she was have, he was she was the first of everything to him.

01:06:55:17 – 01:07:22:00
Always holding hands, always full blown sex finger blasted. Oh, is that right? 69 US? Yeah, probably. Probably dead. Most definitely. They've done it. I've through an interim that they've they've done all of that. Yeah. Now they've gone their separate ways. She lives far away I think the relationship was taking its toll not the relationship was taking its toll.

01:07:22:02 – 01:07:46:17
She was conscious that it was, maybe an emotional sink for this gentleman because she's got a lot of health issues. So they decided both equally to go their own way. He wants advice on what he should do next because he still loves, he still wants to be with her. He still misses her. He still wants her in his life.

01:07:46:19 – 01:08:11:01
And so his questions are. Any advice on where to go from here? What to do next? Should we keep in touch? Do I have to delete photos of us? If I meet someone new? How do I find closure? When we ended on good terms due to circumstances out of our control? Get brass.

01:08:11:03 – 01:08:36:24
Seal is the answer for everything. Really? Mate. That's tough. Firstly, if you love her, then maybe you shouldn't end the relationship. I appreciate there are challenges. I think if you. If you genuinely love her and she loves you and I appreciate it, then you know, you you find a way for houses alongside having a, Yeah, yeah.

01:08:36:24 – 01:08:51:21
Yes it is. It is a long way. But then move. Get a job. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Well you have to stay in this place. Does, does the place you. How much do you want it. How much do you want it. Yeah it does the place where you live, it means more to you than the relationship.

01:08:51:22 – 01:09:12:06
If it does, for whatever reason, then fine. Don't move. But if the relationship is more important than the local you find yourself in, then maybe do that. But there may be other reasons why you can't move, so it's probably a little bit. But the other thing was really interesting about, you know, what? Do you remove pictures of your previous relationships?

01:09:12:08 – 01:09:48:11
Yeah. When you meet someone else. What what what what what do you think? I don't know what I think you would, When. Because I see that remove this conversation and this dilemma for one minute. When you see people that are in relationships on social media and they're posting a lot of that person, you know, when they went on holiday, when they did this, that and the other, and then they split up, maybe they might meet someone new or they've split up for six months.

01:09:48:13 – 01:10:08:15
Do you go back and delete all those? I don't think so, I don't I well I which I, you, you think you'd have to be pretty insecure to feel like you would want your new partner to delete her past. It would be a bit of a red flag. Right. Okay, right, I see, I see, but what about for yourself?

01:10:08:20 – 01:10:29:13
Like, if I had my. She's now my ex I it's been six months. We've both moved on. Do I, do I want to remain Instagram. No. That's different. That's a yeah. That's a different thing if you if you want to eradicate that part of you. But there's pictures of my ex-girlfriend on, on my Instagram. I think. Yeah.

01:10:29:13 – 01:10:51:21
I think there's pictures of my wife on my Instagram. Yeah. Flav underscore Bateman, if you want to, call me, give me a follow. I'll try to get those numbers up. Go get him on Insta. Yeah. It's, it's, It's. I wouldn't worry about that is my answer to what your question is. I don't think you'd have to.

01:10:51:21 – 01:11:19:10
Yeah, and you don't want to. I think you should put your focus in how you can make make this work if you both want it to. Yeah, that would be totally agree, I think. I think you continue conversing over WhatsApp, over telephone calls, over whatever is FaceTime in that you feel comfortable with, and the relationship will naturally ever Peter out and you'll be like, you know what?

01:11:19:10 – 01:11:40:02
This isn't working. Or you'll feel that you'll get it in the field. Was that like Flav says, why am I leaving here? I want to go up there and live where she lives and you'll make it work? Yeah, when I met my missus. But we met in Lisbon, in Portugal, and then she moved back. We moved back up to move back.

01:11:40:02 – 01:12:00:20
We left with our holiday ended. We came home, and then I spent four years in a relationship where I only saw her on a Saturday. In Sunday I come back to London to work. Then on Friday night I come back out again and eventually I got to situation where I was like, I've got to live here for you right now.

01:12:00:20 – 01:12:28:18
Relationship to get, you know, to evolve because you need to spend time with people. So, yeah, get your ass out there. Yeah. Do that right out on. Oh, just, just tired. And you got an issue for a tissue. You're a big fat cat when you aching in your soul, alone in your flat. Please talk to Vicky Flanagan.

01:12:28:20 – 01:12:46:09
Let that stress off your chest. Well, friend, you deserve better. Like you're safe here to get nice warm between bronchial and.

01:12:46:11 – 01:13:04:10
Regime. I don't think I'm going to get bored. Listen, I, I think I'll ever get bored. I was listening to that when I was on my mushroom walk yesterday. A couple of times, but it's good now. You're really good, Alex. We. He's bloody good. He is. He's bloody bloody good. Do you want to hear the brief I gave him?

01:13:04:15 – 01:13:40:14
I can play you the brief. All right. Colon, I don't think you're hear this until you listen back to it. Right. Okay. But this is the brief I sent Alex. Yeah, it was just, a section of the podcast about dilemmas. Wondering if I could put together a little four bars or something. 25 30s. About, how prescient love can solve your dilemmas because, you know, you need our help, and we know what to say, and and, yeah, that kind of thing.

01:13:40:14 – 01:14:10:14
I think is you won't ever hear this, but I just heard. Yeah. Can, Can you. I just want just, like, 30s for bars. Something about Russian flu. I've been able to help. It's all right. And that's what you produced. That's all I gave him. Master blaster. Genius guy, listen to his music, Alexander. Kind of a gift for we go into, something only you know, next topic for next week is going to be like, drugs, fighting, fighting.

01:14:10:16 – 01:14:39:21
I think this is one of you, for it may fight on it. Fighting? Yeah. You three fighting at me also was a suggestion. Send them in. If there's a subject you want us to cover, just hit us up on Instagram. Yeah, man. Or email? That's an on pod at gmail.com. So next week it's going to be fighting any fights you've been in, what you think about fight in fight in this age, going out and fighting it like 40 years old.

01:14:39:23 – 01:15:01:20
Scariness of it. It's fucking mental when you think about it. Yeah, I'm looking forward to talking about that. I've got, I've got some stuff because I'm, I'm I'm afraid of it. Yeah, I'm scared of it. And and I can tell you why specifically next week. Yeah, I think I think, I think I know. All right. Well.

01:15:01:22 – 01:15:18:03
Let's load it up. All right. What? Oh. The jingle. Yeah. Tom thing. You, you know, you. Seamless.

01:15:18:05 – 01:15:44:01
This is code blow jobs are misleading. When I was around 12 to 14 years old, I didn't know shit about the opposite sex. I've never seen porn. This was pre-internet, so we had to get what we could from TV and magazines. I had an older sister who used to leave girlie magazines in the bathroom for reading material one day, or dropping a deuce.

01:15:44:03 – 01:16:15:21
I picked one up and started browsing through it. There was an article on how to give a great blowjob, and I'd never heard of one of them, but it definitely sounded like something I wanted. I can't tell you specifics as far as how I ended up in this situation, because it's a long time ago and I honestly can't remember, but I found myself alone one day and thought it'd be a good idea to experience my first blowjob with the assistance of my mum's vacuum cleaner.

01:16:15:23 – 01:16:45:07
It was the type of vacuum that you could take the hose off and put it on, the other end to make it blow instead of suck. And since it was called a blowjob, I thought that's what I needed to do in order to experience, the description in the magazine. I got myself hard and then stuck my penis into the end of the vacuum tube, but since it was wider than I was, I really didn't feel anything good.

01:16:45:09 – 01:17:10:24
I then had the bright idea of cupping my hands in a way where I created a kind of seal between the hose and my cock. I will never forget what happened next. My foreskin blew up suddenly like a fucking balloon, and there was an almighty clapping and popping sound, which is difficult to describe, but which I can hear my head like this happened yesterday, not 40 years ago.

01:17:11:01 – 01:17:33:17
I felt like someone had just slapped the shit out of my cock and it really freaked me out. I turned off the vacuum and was sure I'd done some sort of damage. I obviously never tried that again and I've never told anyone about this, I never will, so thanks for giving me an outlet. I can't believe I was that dumb, but I'm sure I'm not the only guy that has ever done something stupid out there.

01:17:33:19 – 01:18:00:08
Hopefully this will inspire others to share, but I don't think many lads have started doing it. However, I, I haven't. Night night. Oh I do you look at it, look at the mechanism. Why would that feel good? No, but I can, sympathize with him. Why is it called a blowjob? Do you think it's weird? Yeah. No, it's a good point.

01:18:00:14 – 01:18:06:08
It doesn't. It doesn't make much sense. Do you think it's weird? Men who buy themselves sex toys.

01:18:06:10 – 01:18:38:21
Like a flashlight? If you going out of your way. But your hand works perfectly fine. Yeah. I'd like. Yeah, I don't. You know what else we need to keep an eye on? Men use lotion for, for wanking? Yeah. When a lubricant. Yeah, that is like I'm a senior American thing. I do it a lot over there. I don't know, yeah, I think it's because it's, a lot of the gents over there, circumcised.

01:18:38:23 – 01:19:03:17
I think that's what. That's why I reckon we've got a friend in our, friendship group who reckons you use lotion before. For sure. A. It's the one who sticks things up his ass, I swear. Yeah, yeah. So you're thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we know it's him. Yeah. And I think as well that that's not the.

01:19:03:19 – 01:19:32:10
He's used other things apart from lotion. He has categorically but not toothpaste or something. I just, you know, the meaning is down there and stuff like, he's he's definitely he's going to be he's going to be listening to this, driving around, listening to this. Yeah. Probably be early in the morning. When is it. Yeah. Just just so you know, if you're listening to this, you know, you are I know everything that you've done because you told me.

01:19:32:12 – 01:19:52:03
You told me to think about it. I think about what you do sexually. It pops into my head maybe 2 or 3 times a day. You dirty pig. Dirty pig! Stop doing things up your ass. Leave your ass alone. Nothing to do here. Keep your fingers to yourself. Stop putting things up your ass. Not all of it. Not everything needs to be about sex.

01:19:52:03 – 01:20:20:06
Okay? Little pig. This next one is called Go and Love. Show him. So what? A night out with my best friend to work, party drunk plenty all evening. And as evening started to come to a close, we both decided to slip off. We had to say goodbye to everyone or get bogged down with all the usual boredom of seeing everyone before you leave.

01:20:20:08 – 01:20:53:07
We decided to get something to eat before we ventured home. Just before we got to the KFC, a Lexus full by four pulled up alongside the curb next to us and opened the window. Excuse me boys, we heard as we turned round to see what was going on. We caught a glimpse of a guy driving the car and an old lady in the front seat kind of dressed up for a night out as we both leaned over to the car and poke our heads towards the window, we hear the guy say, go on, love.

01:20:53:13 – 01:21:17:22
Shalom. With this, she hitches up her skirt to show us full blown stockings and suspenders. The guy then says, if you fancy a bit of fun, jump in the back. We'll fuck me like a couple of rats up a drainpipe. You couldn't have got us into the back of the car quick enough, the guy drives off and pulls up alongside a big green.

01:21:17:22 – 01:21:44:12
It's fairly quiet outside. Well, he's missus turns around and gets in the back with us. Tea Giannis hand it out. And my my and my my my mate getting his cock sucked. And I'm up to my nuts in God's having fun all around. While the old guy in the front is smoking a roll up us watching us smashes misses from both ends.

01:21:44:14 – 01:22:06:17
All fun and games. And once we finish, he drops us back to KFC. As we get out of the car, he looks at us and says, here's my number if you want any more fun. We end up getting home and lo and behold, some Muppet has lost their front door key. The end that is, that is a that's a great story.

01:22:06:17 – 01:22:26:17
That's the sort of thing we're after. Yeah. Fairplay. I mean, it's all wholesome. Nothing wrong with that. They were up for it. Yeah, that's what they want. It's because it's. Everything took place in the car. Is that dog? It's not dog, is it? I think it might be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Is it so it's not only dog in.

01:22:26:17 – 01:22:54:22
It's a couple of things going on a dog in Cuckolding. Yeah. I ever again I don't yeah. Yeah for sure for sure. Yeah. I don't think I'll ever get to, get my head around cuckolding cocks. Know what? You know, it's that's that's the last thing in the world I want to. Be the last the I like, I would rather running in front of a truck than watch that.

01:22:54:24 – 01:23:18:19
Yeah, yeah. Same same same. That has been the end of lads. And none of us got any outrider, right? I know, I know that, but that's the end of the thing. I'll do the outro. Something, you know.

01:23:18:21 – 01:23:45:16
I hope we never, never, never run smooth like an engine with all these intros and outros. I quite like it. We should do a live show. I've. There is nothing more. I would love really to do the idea. Yeah, I've got this idea, Rick. I've got this idea of us going through photos of ourselves and talking about what those photos mean.

01:23:45:16 – 01:24:05:16
Essentially of of our dream. We have to find some interesting stuff around. I've, I've got I've got like you. Right. Like because if we do that right in that instance, I won't mind doing the bad photos. Do you know what I was? That's literally what I was about to say because we have some photos that are bad. Bad photos.

01:24:05:16 – 01:24:27:10
Never, ever. They will never see the light of day. Never, ever, ever, ever. But at this show, we would happily show those photos. And there could be some videos as well. Well, yeah, that I mean, that would be. We'll do it, we'll do it. We will do it. Yeah, it could be when we celebrate in the Sexy Dreamers.

01:24:27:12 – 01:24:50:11
God, hopefully it might be the sexy dream. Might have gone early by then. The three blast offs might have happened by July. Yeah. How about that? At Christmas time, if we can just get a small venue, 100 people. And we'll do a slideshow. Everyone hates slideshows, but this would be great. Yeah, this will be, and it will.

01:24:50:11 – 01:25:13:12
It will also be the celebration of the coming together of the sexy dreamers. I'll bring my bit. The big men. I've got. Good. Yeah. And we'll, we'll do it. We'll do it. If you continue to, like, download. That would be lovely. I know I keep saying it, I know I day, but I know all of you listening to this and some of you still aren't doing it to fucking do it.

01:25:13:14 – 01:25:36:12
The next thing I did, you did it. So if you go to Spotify or Apple, your chosen media player, type in lads anonymous, then underneath Lads Anonymous on Spotify you see a cock on apple, you'll see three dots. You click on that and you see the option for auto download. Swipe across or click on and that's it.

01:25:36:14 – 01:25:56:15
You're all sorted and you'll get the podcast Monday morning when it's released. You won't need to do any kind of. If you're going for a dog walk, get on a plane, commute in and your underground, it won't matter because the podcast will be on your phone, and after you've listened to it, you can delete it. I get it, there you go.

01:25:56:15 – 01:26:19:21
Get it, get it. No, they don't fucking do they also. Rick. Yeah we're 30 away from 700 ratings on on, Spotify. Really? Yeah. If we can get to 700, that'd be amazing. Yeah. Well, it means now because we've already sort of tricked the algorithm we charted early on. That probably happen again until if this podcast, because it becomes massive.

01:26:19:21 – 01:26:39:01
Right? It will. But when someone looks at the show, they hear about it and they look and they see that many reviews and ratings may not be a thing, keep writing this up. Yeah. Keep going. All right. Until then, we will see you on Monday. Adios.