#158 | Friends Drifting Apart | Where Did Our Mates Go?

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Ricky: um This morning, before it was about half past eight, and for absolutely no reason, I text Leroy.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: I think it would be three days if you disapp disappeared before anyone would even notice.

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Ricky: Three days apart from that.

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Gareth Flavell: but There's been no communication prior, just just out the blue, wake up and then, okay.

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Ricky: no

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Ricky: yeah Yeah. Yeah. he said, that's I hope you have a great day.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: And I said, you'd be waiting for them to find you, but they'd never come. Eventually, you'll hear them enjoying themselves and rejoicing that it's better without him.

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Gareth Flavell: Oh, dear.

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Ricky: That was it.

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Ricky: ah And he's got his day, but I just thought, ah, that's too much. I rang him up and apologized.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah. Ah, this is too much. Oh, mate. Like… Just waking up and doing that, you just chose violence this morning, yeah?

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Ricky: Yeah, sometimes. I woke up like saturday on a saturday Saturday. I remember Saturday, I'd often wake up at like, say had to work or something. And I'd go on Twitter and I'd ask Alex from Bristol and just say, next time I see him, I'm going to punch you in the f throat.

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Ricky: And it was like 6.30am on a Saturday. And he's like, what you doing?

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Gareth Flavell: ah

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Ricky: Just random, isn't it? It's like random acts of violence.

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Gareth Flavell: the m I was going to ask you, like, ah the the reason why you may have done it, you but your're um your kids have left school. You're not taking them to anywhere, are you, in the morning?

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Ricky: Well, this morning?

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: No. No, no, they're done.

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Gareth Flavell: Fuck.

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Ricky: We're going to college next year. Well, Will is to college next year, but…

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Gareth Flavell: they Like, for me this morning, so I might be in a in ah in an odd mood, in a kind of just a silly mood, Flav.

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Ricky: All right.

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Gareth Flavell: I am just…

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Ricky: Bye.

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Gareth Flavell: There has been, so

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Gareth Flavell: For the past month, right? Little bit of backstory. My missus, as you know, is doing her final third exam for her to become a driving instructor in a two-year journey.

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Ricky: Yep.

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Gareth Flavell: And there's a lot involved getting through the the different stages of doing this. So it was coming to the the the test was yesterday. And for the past month, I could see the storm clouds behind her eyes of

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Ricky: Because the build up to this, because there was this, it was almost like it was now or never, wasn't it?

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Gareth Flavell: The build-up, yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah, pretty much.

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Ricky: For various reasons.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Ricky: It's a weird sort of bureaucracy to becoming a driving instructor that you have to do it inside a certain period. And so it was like now or never, or she'd have to start the whole process again, which is another two year rolling period, which is not what anyone needed.

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Gareth Flavell: That's right, yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah. Yeah. And she wouldn't be able to earn any money and stuff like that. So, it would yeah, it was do or die. So I could see the storm clouds and it's…

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Gareth Flavell: it's really hard to see someone that you love go through these things, right? And like, I couldn't, you can't do anything.

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Gareth Flavell: You can't, you know, you can be there for them. You can give them pep talks and whatever else, but you can't do the thing for them. And normally, you know, if there's a problem with in the house, just fucking throw money at it, boy.

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Gareth Flavell: the you know, fridge is broken, I'll buy a new one, whatever.

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Ricky: Can't

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Gareth Flavell: It doesn't matter. But with this, you know, i i can't do anything.

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Ricky: do that. No. no

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Gareth Flavell: Um, but what i have been doing is I have been, so I've been doing all like all the dinners and when the kids are going to school in the morning, been driving them to the bus stop and doing the uniforms and, you know, all like doing more than i I normally would just to take the pressure and ease off of her and having to think about more stuff.

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Gareth Flavell: And then this week it's been like, I've just been all in. Every every evening when I go to sleep, my missus is on our bed, documents everywhere, driving videos, playing and stuff like that. So she is just fully encamped in this.

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Gareth Flavell: ah So I've been doing a lot of heavy lifting.

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Ricky: did you did you fit Did you feel the stress from her?

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Gareth Flavell: Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, obviously the um it's been tense in the house. and you so you're just walking on eggshells and all that and then and uh the day before she was a bit teary-eyed pressure getting to her totally you know get that and she was like hyperventilating and i was just like hell man this i like it it was hell for for for for both of us but today

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Gareth Flavell: I'd just like to say, by the way, everyone, if you're listening, she passed, which is fucking absolutely immense for her and us.

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Ricky: It's not just not just she passed. It's an amazing thing.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: But now all the stress is gone.

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Gareth Flavell: That's right. the the stretch the The clouds have gone. a very emotional day yesterday. Today was the kind of the last day for me of sorting the girls' lunches, uniforms, taking them to the bus stop, all that.

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Ricky: is it? That's all done now, is it?

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Gareth Flavell: lot well Well, for the summer. For the summer.

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Ricky: ah right, right.

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Gareth Flavell: and but

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Ricky: because you Is this the last day at school?

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah, last day at school.

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Ricky: Oh, Reem.

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Gareth Flavell: So that's why I'm a bit like, oh, whatever, mate.

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Ricky: The best.

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Gareth Flavell: I don't give a fuck about anything.

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Ricky: Yeah. So what, where's, what did you how did you celebrate? Mad lookouts or?

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Gareth Flavell: Now I just got to fuck off Chinese, didn't know

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Ricky: Did you?

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: What's your order? What's your order?

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Gareth Flavell: ah So we got…

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Ricky: Oh, by the way, anyone needs a fully qualified driving instructor in the Midland area, then what, what, she's got to start her own company now or

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Gareth Flavell: You're such a…

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Gareth Flavell: No, so she works for a company that's already established in Milton Keynes, but she is ah marked as…

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Ricky: what? Just send some students, yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: What you call it? Soul Trader Independent Business?

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Ricky: Yeah, yeah. Okay. So she she just gets clients from thing. What…

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Gareth Flavell: That's right.

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Ricky: Yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: But she but she now that she's passed, she can do her own thing now.

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Ricky: yeah Yeah, fine.

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Gareth Flavell: But she's going to stay with them for a bit, to you know.

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Ricky: But we've got to name her business for her.

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Gareth Flavell: Right.

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Ricky: I think you should put it out to your patrons. and And Donna has to call her business whatever they decide. Okay.

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Gareth Flavell: Right, okay, that's good. Yeah, I mean, she doesn't need to know that.

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Ricky: Yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: And I will, yeah, okay, right, fine.

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Ricky: no but then but then you know it costs costs no money to register a business as well so once it's done we'll register the business yeah in her name as and she'll be the director of that business but so yeah um

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Gareth Flavell: Patrons, if you're listening…

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: Brilliant. This is great stuff. This is great stuff.

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Ricky: what's your chinese order

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Gareth Flavell: It was. ah So everything is double because, you know, four of us. So chicken chow mein, egg fried rice.

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Ricky: ah You all share the same food?

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: No one wants any special sort of dishes? Okay.

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Gareth Flavell: No, no, no.

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Ricky: Yeah, that's fine.

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Gareth Flavell: Well, I mean, actually, sorry, the special one. So chicken chow mein, egg fried rice, beef curry, vegetable spring rolls, sweet and sour chicken balls.

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Ricky: Yep.

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Ricky: Yep.

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Gareth Flavell: Big dog.

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Ricky: Times two. All this time two.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah. And then big dog over here on his own shredded chili beef.

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Ricky: Yeah. Yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: No one wants to go anywhere near it.

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Ricky: They don't like it because the chili is hot.

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Gareth Flavell: nah but No, no, no. They think it's just like fried fat. That's all it is. Can't taste any of the beef. Mate, it's fucking Reem. What are you talking about?

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Ricky: not to take away anything about your decision making, Chinese is the worst takeaway you can get.

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Gareth Flavell: Is it because you just you just get an omelette and rice and then you're done?

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Ricky: No, actually, there's they you like your your you

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Gareth Flavell: No, actually.

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Ricky: you'll be surprised. You shouldn't be surprised because you're supposed to be a man of the world. You're Pan-Asian.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: You're Pan-Asian. but But no, there's tons of like in China, in different parts of China and where the that the tofu is massive over there.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah. yeah

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Gareth Flavell: I've never tried tofu.

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Ricky: It's disgusting. Don't try it.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: Don't try it. It's fucking rubbish. There's zero reason for you to go anywhere near tofu.

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Gareth Flavell: What is Is it like fermented bean or some shit like that?

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Ricky: It's like bean curd. Yeah. It's, uh, yeah, it's Matt.

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Gareth Flavell: Oh, good lord.

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Ricky: It's like really high on iron protein. So, ah if you you are a vegetarian, you want to get protein, you have to eat that shit. Unfortunately.

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Gareth Flavell: Oh, God.

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Ricky: Whereas, where whereas like corn is like mushroom protein. It's like a protein that comes from not mushrooms, like a fucking button mushroom, but like, yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah, magic mushroom.

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Ricky: Oh yeah. my Um, Yeah, so but I'm saying it's still it's spot a minute.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: Like if all the things you can order, what would what is it? If you had to rank takeaways, how do you rank?

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah, like yeah this, this might be, i don't think it'd be a surprise to you, but it might be a surprise to many.

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Ricky: Yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: Bottom of the barrel. Indian.

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Ricky: I think that would be easily the most popular.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: but But it's not, they're hard to find decent ones.

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Gareth Flavell: It is. It is really hard to find decent ones. And what I associate with a good Indian curry or anything like that, it's what my nan used to make for me. Nans.

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Ricky: Which is not what you get in… don't get corn or shit.

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Gareth Flavell: No. No, it's like, no, there's like a ah lot of sweetener and additives and coloration to it.

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Ricky: you don't get cold more shit

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Gareth Flavell: it's It's completely different. Completely different. But there is this an Indian where I live, and it is very traditional, like what my nan would have served.

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Ricky: Yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: It's fucking great.

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Ricky: So so the the they have… but There's a place called Haveli in Bromham, not apart from where we live. And they have the normal stuff because you have to… You have to pick it to the audience, don't you? You have to make what people want to eat. But they also have a menu of traditional Indian… Well, don't traditional Indian food. It's just like…

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Ricky: It's like chicken. And then it will say sort of like that. It's not like, oh, it comes in like a tea ah chicken tikka.

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Gareth Flavell: Right. Yeah. Yeah.

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Ricky: It's cooked in the way that they want to cook it. So whenever you go in there, Mrs. says, what do you recommend I have? And they just say, this is what we have. And he goes, I want what you have rather than what? Like a passanda for something.

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Gareth Flavell: Fucking hell, that's brave your missus.

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Ricky: Nah.

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Gareth Flavell: what Do you ever go into a restaurant and go, what are your specials today for vegetarians or anything like that?

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Ricky: No, but the no they're really friendly though. they're They're super friendly. Like you go in and you you feel like the main geezer, you feel like you've known him for years. he's Lovely.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: So you feel really comfortable saying, I don't want all that shit that's on there. I don't want a chicken tikka. And it's on the menu, but you just ask what they recommend.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah.

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Ricky: They said, this is what we had at lunch today.

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Gareth Flavell: I am.

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Ricky: And so you're eating what what it Indian people would want to eat rather than just what's been designed for the British.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah. That's that's what you want.

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Ricky: Yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: That is what you want. And ah the my local Chinese as well.

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Ricky: Yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: There used to be this dude there and he was lovely. Absolutely. Such a sweet, nice guy. He's been missing for ages. Don't know where he's been. And it's just the what that's what I thought.

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Ricky: Dead. Dead? Oh.

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Gareth Flavell: That's what I thought. um Went in there yesterday to collect my order.

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Ricky: There he is.

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Gareth Flavell: Who was fucking standing there?

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Ricky: ah yeah

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Gareth Flavell: was like, wait, was like, I in here quite often. You've not been here? right And he was he started smiling. He said, this this place got taken over and they ran into some problems. So I bought the business back off them.

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Gareth Flavell: So I'm back here again.

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Ricky: is that he's Is that how he speaks?

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah. I didn't do the accent.

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Ricky: ah So does he have an accent?

00:11:57.53
Gareth Flavell: Did I do the accent? Yeah, it's

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Ricky: I can't quite, sort of create the scene for me.

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Gareth Flavell: ah so

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Ricky: Create the scene for me.

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Gareth Flavell: when i was When I was talking to my missus yesterday and I was saying that I met him again and um then and then he said to me, as just as I was leaving, he's like, ah did you watch the football yesterday? and But when I said that bit to my missus, I did it in like a ah softer a Chinese accent.

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Ricky: Indian accent. ah Of course, Chinese accent.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah.

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Ricky: Sorry, sorry. I was still thinking it was Indians.

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Gareth Flavell: so and And then as I was…

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Ricky: Because I was about to say so cause i always about to say to you, Ricky, that's your accent.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: You're allowed to do an Indian accent.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Ricky: Do an Indian accent now that's not offensive. Do it.

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Gareth Flavell: I can't do an Indian accent.

00:12:37.46
Ricky: Do we put one on? You can do one.

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Gareth Flavell: i know

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Ricky: You can do one.

00:12:41.02
Gareth Flavell: ah

00:12:42.01
Ricky: Ricky, it's yours.

00:12:43.96
Gareth Flavell: I know. know it's mine, but I can't do one

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Ricky: Would you feel offensive if you did do one?

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Gareth Flavell: No, not really. well i met Yeah, a little bit, actually.

00:12:53.27
Ricky: Is it because you're, you consider yourself British and your heritage is Anglo-Indian, right?

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Gareth Flavell: Yes. That's right, yeah.

00:13:00.57
Ricky: um So Indian is in your bloodline.

00:13:03.80
Gareth Flavell: It is, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Ricky: So if you can't do an Indian accent, I det i definitely can't.

00:13:07.79
Gareth Flavell: Who can? na Right. Okay. I see where you go. The thing is, we're doing accents.

00:13:12.47
Ricky: I'm trying to get the eye pass.

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

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Ricky: No, I think you can say it, but it's just like, why why would you?

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Gareth Flavell: Yeah. ah Like, I don't mind people doing accents as long as it's not punching down.

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Ricky: Yeah.

00:13:24.30
Ricky: Yeah.

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Gareth Flavell: Like.

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Ricky: and And you can't punch down on Indians because there's more of them.

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Gareth Flavell: Why not?

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Ricky: Isn't there more of them?

00:13:35.01
Gareth Flavell: Depends where you are.

00:13:36.02
Ricky: In India.

00:13:36.86
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, in India. Yeah, yeah, you definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah

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Ricky: So you can't go to India and be racist to Indians. I don't think that's possible.

00:13:43.42
Gareth Flavell: yeah. No. No, you'd be the minority. So.

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Ricky: Yeah, exactly. So I can go around saying what i want because it's not racist.

00:13:50.07
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:13:50.97
Ricky: I might get punched in the face, but it's clear I'm not being racist because it's impossible as the minority to be racist to the to the general population.

00:13:57.30
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:14:02.87
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, I don't think I could go there and do anything either. They would see me as a Westerner and British.

00:14:06.01
Ricky: No, you'd be fine. So you couldn't be racist either there.

00:14:09.45
Gareth Flavell: No, I couldn't.

00:14:09.68
Ricky: Yeah, that's a good point.

00:14:10.16
Gareth Flavell: So it's a bit…

00:14:11.32
Ricky: That's good point.

00:14:11.96
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:14:12.94
Ricky: So you know that some travelers are not allowed, only Indian people allowed to stay in certain hotels in India.

00:14:20.34
Gareth Flavell: Oh, God, really?

00:14:20.95
Ricky: that Yeah, if you' like they won't let white people stay or black people or anybody of other than the locals.

00:14:25.14
Gareth Flavell: oh Jesus, that's… That's mean.

00:14:27.77
Ricky: and the And they've got their own caste system. So depending on the color of your skin,

00:14:31.93
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:14:32.60
Ricky: I don't know if how relevant it is in the modern era, but yeah, there's a there's like a… The lighter is seen as a more affluent or desirable skin tone.

00:14:41.11
Gareth Flavell: Absolutely correct.

00:14:42.17
Ricky: Is it? Yeah.

00:14:42.71
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, absolutely. well i mean not if we if I mean, I'm to be going, traveling to India next year and I'll be going with my mum and my mum, born in India, white.

00:14:50.69
Ricky: Oh.

00:14:55.58
Ricky: It's a queen.

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Gareth Flavell: White, isn't she?

00:14:57.27
Ricky: Oh. So to Ricky's mum is… If you imagine a white woman, that's Ricky's mum.

00:15:05.88
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah.

00:15:06.84
Ricky: Like, how old is she now? Now she's getting 60, 68? 68.

00:15:09.32
Gareth Flavell: 68. 68.

00:15:10.22
Ricky: I know that.

00:15:10.64
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:15:10.88
Ricky: 68, is it? Yeah. Yeah, she looks like a 68 white British woman, but she was born in India.

00:15:15.93
Gareth Flavell: yeah Yeah. And my, my, my mum's side, my granddad and aunties and uncles are all white or born in India. My grand people used to think there was something weird, weird with my granddad because he had the accent.

00:15:24.82
Ricky: Your uncles are not… Oh, right.

00:15:29.60
Ricky: What accent?

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Gareth Flavell: What yeah the Indian accent.

00:15:32.09
Ricky: How right…

00:15:32.21
Gareth Flavell: ah And he's white and they're like, it's your granddad from South Africa.

00:15:34.78
Ricky: What did your granddad sound like? what you saw

00:15:36.99
Gareth Flavell: not No.

00:15:37.21
Ricky: the

00:15:39.00
Gareth Flavell: Why is he speaking weird?

00:15:40.92
Ricky: Well, our favourite, George Orwell, was born in India.

00:15:43.16
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, I know.

00:15:44.31
Ricky: yeah well this This is all to do with colonialism and the British Empire and and and all that sort of stuff.

00:15:48.70
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, exactly.

00:15:49.34
Ricky: See, it's not all bad, is it?

00:15:51.83
Gareth Flavell: What? Colonialism.

00:15:53.50
Ricky: Well, colonial yeah, i mean, it's not all bad. Colonialism is not all bad either.

00:15:56.63
Gareth Flavell: some Some bits were, you know, good.

00:15:56.62
Ricky: but Some are really bad.

00:15:58.87
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:15:59.45
Ricky: Some bits are really bad. But there's great things that come out of the British Empire.

00:16:03.32
Gareth Flavell: yeah Yeah, exactly.

00:16:04.02
Ricky: Yeah. You wouldn't be here without the British Empire.

00:16:07.93
Gareth Flavell: yeah railway system as well.

00:16:10.88
Ricky: Yeah.

00:16:11.51
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:16:11.60
Ricky: Penicillin, is that good? I don't it Sounds good.

00:16:12.60
Gareth Flavell: yeah yeah but Yeah, yeah, it's good. ah

00:16:15.80
Ricky: just I think that this sort of taking everything from the country is the bad bit.

00:16:19.99
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:16:20.84
Ricky: Yeah.

00:16:20.92
Gareth Flavell: yeah yeah Yeah. That slavery, that all of that stuff, that just don't…

00:16:22.80
Ricky: don't do that.

00:16:26.55
Ricky: so of First Nation to stop slavery as well.

00:16:28.34
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:16:29.08
Ricky: That's good.

00:16:29.82
Gareth Flavell: Started it and stopped it, so, you know…

00:16:32.54
Ricky: Did they start I don't think we started it.

00:16:33.92
Gareth Flavell: I don't know. Who started it Portuguese?

00:16:36.31
Ricky: so South Koreans.

00:16:37.72
Gareth Flavell: Really?

00:16:38.68
Ricky: Yeah.

00:16:40.60
Gareth Flavell: Fucking hell.

00:16:41.21
Ricky: they they've they've So I know this from the the the podcast with, what's his name?

00:16:47.90
Gareth Flavell: Fioran?

00:16:47.86
Ricky: Bobby Lee. No, Bobby Lee and the and the ginger geezer.

00:16:49.11
Gareth Flavell: Bobby Lee? yeah ah Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:53.43
Ricky: and the And he said, south south africa South Koreans never had slaves. and it said And then they looked up and South Korea had the longest unbroken chain of slaves in the history of humanity.

00:17:03.54
Gareth Flavell: yeah

00:17:05.46
Ricky: 2,000 years. Yeah. He went from saying we've never had slaves to it being the longest in the history of humanity.

00:17:14.37
Gareth Flavell: That's a quality clip. Right, let's get into it.

00:17:43.61
Gareth Flavell: Hello and welcome to Lads Anonymous. It's episode 158. I'm Ricky. He's Flav. Two best mates.

00:17:48.89
Ricky: say Same intro. Same intro.

00:17:49.98
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, and I know, I was hoping

00:17:51.38
Ricky: Same intro.

00:17:52.25
Gareth Flavell: I was hoping that you would have forgotten.

00:17:53.14
Ricky: yeah ah I never want to hear that ever again.

00:17:54.74
Gareth Flavell: right

00:17:54.78
Ricky: I'm never hearing that intro.

00:17:55.58
Gareth Flavell: we were but i was i was supposed to do a chat GPT version for this week.

00:17:55.58
Ricky: I'm going to interrupt you every single week.

00:17:59.41
Gareth Flavell: i just As I was saying, it was like, he won't remember. He won't remember.

00:18:03.19
Ricky: saving So it's yeah they just it like anyway. ah ri I want to read you something. This happened five years ago. you remember this? Australia recently started tracking program that requires them to tag and tag and track all large great white sharks. One of the largest tag sharks within the program is the nine foot great white nicknamed shark alpha. Alpha had plunged straight down the side of the continental shelf, more than 1,500 feet deep.

00:18:27.19
Ricky: inside Instead of the tag's temperature cooling down, as it should as it entered the deep, colder water, it shot up and got hotter. This means that the shark must have been inside the stomach of an another animal.

00:18:39.74
Gareth Flavell: Right, first of all, you've fucked up the end of the podcast because I was going to do that.

00:18:41.92
Ricky: Yeah. Yeah.

00:18:46.13
Gareth Flavell: Second of all, Jack, if you're go to be sending this around to people, then did you did Jack send that to you?

00:18:52.42
Ricky: No.

00:18:53.07
Gareth Flavell: sent it to me last night and I was like, I'm ending the pod with this. This is fucking magical.

00:18:58.25
Ricky: I'm looking a five-year-old Reddit post.

00:19:00.18
Gareth Flavell: ah Yeah, I know. But what is it just popped up now.

00:19:03.51
Ricky: Yeah, it's just random on my screen. I just had Reddit open and I just…

00:19:06.26
Gareth Flavell: Right, let's let's get to the bottom of this.

00:19:08.50
Ricky: Right.

00:19:09.65
Gareth Flavell: It's a nine foot great white.

00:19:11.70
Ricky: Yes.

00:19:13.18
Gareth Flavell: That is not insignificant. That is a, that's a large, it's not the biggest, but it's a large great white.

00:19:21.18
Ricky: Yes. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. No, it's, yes. It's the long as long as your car.

00:19:24.04
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:19:26.46
Gareth Flavell: And

00:19:28.05
Ricky: Something bigger is eating it.

00:19:29.56
Gareth Flavell: something bigger has eaten it.

00:19:30.82
Ricky: A bigger great white, probably. But how big is that great white to get a night?

00:19:34.65
Gareth Flavell: i mean

00:19:35.58
Ricky: ri I'm um um'm more blown away by the fact that you're, with taught we're both planning to talk about this five-year-old fact that neither of us have discussed before.

00:19:41.62
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:19:44.22
Gareth Flavell: No.

00:19:45.39
Ricky: That's weirder than the fucking shark.

00:19:49.30
Ricky: So you we this is in the running order.

00:19:49.46
Gareth Flavell: ah

00:19:51.05
Ricky: what I just read out.

00:19:52.12
Gareth Flavell: I swear on my children's life.

00:19:53.75
Ricky: Right, and I swear in my children's life, this has completely randomly just appeared on my screen. I wasn't even looking for it. I was browsing Reddit before, when I had some time between the last podcast and this one, and it just appeared.

00:20:04.12
Gareth Flavell: This is… That's mental.

00:20:08.37
Ricky: Jack sent it to you.

00:20:09.24
Gareth Flavell: yeah

00:20:10.68
Ricky: or Is it a Reddit post he sent it to you?

00:20:12.54
Gareth Flavell: They sent it to me on Instagram.

00:20:14.82
Ricky: What the fuck?

00:20:15.86
Gareth Flavell: This is mad.

00:20:17.50
Ricky: Yeah.

00:20:18.52
Gareth Flavell: right What?

00:20:18.71
Ricky: that I don't understand it. I don't like it. It's like this guy. It's like this. Do you remember that thing where the man was walking down the street and he was walking past a telephone box and the telephone box just started randomly ringing?

00:20:32.83
Ricky: And and he's just in this random town.

00:20:33.02
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:20:34.55
Ricky: the other He'd been there once or twice before. And the telephone box is randomly ringing and he just s thinks… I'll just answer it to see. ah so So for American friends, these telephone boxes all had numbers, so you could call any telephone telephone box you wanted.

00:20:49.51
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:20:50.42
Ricky: um So he's walking along and it rings and he picks it up and it's his secretary calling him about some sort of arbitrary work question. It's just called this random telephone box that he just happened to be walking past.

00:21:03.81
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:21:05.90
Ricky: And when he picked it up, she wasn't surprised because she was calling him. do you understand what's happening here, Rick?

00:21:12.63
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, I do, because I know the story.

00:21:14.33
Ricky: ah fuck, you know already.

00:21:15.45
Gareth Flavell: No, yeah, know.

00:21:15.47
Ricky: So it's like telling me.

00:21:16.41
Gareth Flavell: But I mean…

00:21:17.63
Ricky: He's like, how have you, what, how did you get me? And she's like, what are you talking about? rang this number. It's just a coincidence, like billions to one.

00:21:24.31
Gareth Flavell: i've I've like done, ah you know, when I say I've researched it, not Cambridge research, but I've like, I've looked into it and apparently did happen.

00:21:28.39
Ricky: Yeah.

00:21:32.92
Ricky: It did happen. ah what i did I watched the interview with the bloke who said it. It wasn't like an urban myth. He was talking about it I was walking down the street and this happened.

00:21:41.47
Gareth Flavell: How did that happen?

00:21:42.99
Ricky: I don't know.

00:21:43.54
Gareth Flavell: okay

00:21:47.03
Gareth Flavell: do you right Going back to the shark, do you think an actual, another great white ate that nine foot great white?

00:21:50.71
Ricky: Yes. Absolutely.

00:21:53.43
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:21:53.78
Ricky: Or…

00:21:55.53
Gareth Flavell: Not whale.

00:21:57.78
Ricky: What whale? Maybe killer whale?

00:21:59.83
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:22:00.25
Ricky: They go that deep? How far… do So the only thing that haunts that hunts a great white is ah is other great whites and orcas.

00:22:11.10
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:22:11.58
Ricky: Unless it was a giant squid down there. i don't know how deep they go. Orca.

00:22:16.82
Gareth Flavell: Oh, they go fucking deep, boy. Very deep. I… Like, for a great white shark to eat ah not another nine-foot great white shark, we, you know, you've got to be…

00:22:30.35
Gareth Flavell: 18

00:22:32.08
Ricky: feet.

00:22:33.47
Gareth Flavell: fucking hell.

00:22:35.19
Ricky: got me that It's got to be as big as that, which is not unheard of, but very rare.

00:22:38.71
Gareth Flavell: Yeah. That's a fucking big boy.

00:22:42.22
Ricky: There's a big boy.

00:22:42.81
Gareth Flavell: If you ever saw that.

00:22:44.30
Ricky: Yeah, I wouldn't like that.

00:22:45.24
Gareth Flavell: Do you know what we are talking about today?

00:22:47.50
Ricky: Can't remember.

00:22:48.76
Gareth Flavell: You can't remember.

00:22:49.82
Ricky: well This is what I'd like.

00:22:50.42
Gareth Flavell: we're We're talking about… When friends drift apart. This was sent in by a patron.

00:22:58.20
Gareth Flavell: What right now?

00:22:59.05
Ricky: Yeah.

00:22:59.64
Gareth Flavell: Right. Okay.

00:23:00.38
Ricky: Sometimes I'd like just drift apart from you.

00:23:04.62
Ricky: That hurt a bit.

00:23:05.43
Gareth Flavell: No, not really. Cause you know, it could never happen. It would never, we're bound forever.

00:23:08.15
Ricky: like you You'll find me. okay

00:23:11.10
Gareth Flavell: ah

00:23:11.86
Ricky: You'll find me. ah Go on. Really?

00:23:15.96
Gareth Flavell: You'll be walking down. it You'll be but the one walking down the road in devices and the phone box will ring.

00:23:20.10
Ricky: Mate, did you see? You sent in that picture, at that video of that geezer playing the trumpet.

00:23:26.55
Gareth Flavell: Yes.

00:23:27.54
Ricky: Right, so vi you've post it on Patreon or something, but or in your Discord.

00:23:31.00
Gareth Flavell: Right. Okay.

00:23:34.32
Ricky: Ricky sent his video in. Did you AI it

00:23:38.04
Gareth Flavell: No, no, no. do you know what? Someone else sent it to me on Instagram and said, i didn't know Flab was moonlighting.

00:23:46.90
Ricky: it? This is… I know that some people will know there is this ongoing thing about me looking like a lot of people, which is…

00:23:53.05
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:23:54.42
Ricky: I do, clearly. There's one here.

00:23:59.19
Ricky: It is me.

00:24:00.41
Gareth Flavell: he ah

00:24:01.85
Ricky: I'm looking at it… And I'm like, that's me. And my mum said, is that AI? And I'm like, no. unless this ge Unless the geezer sent it to you, he's done it and created it and and done it.

00:24:11.90
Gareth Flavell: That's mad.

00:24:17.14
Gareth Flavell: Mate, yeah have you seen the account? It's like Pizza Express live music or something like that.

00:24:22.42
Ricky: Yeah, that's true.

00:24:25.71
Ricky: Honestly, go on Flav underscore Bateman on Instagram or Flav Bateman on Instagram. It's on my stories. It's insane. Like this guy could be not even my brother, my twin brother.

00:24:39.03
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:24:39.03
Ricky: It's crazy.

00:24:40.73
Gareth Flavell: Brilliant.

00:24:41.40
Ricky: Sorry.

00:24:41.94
Gareth Flavell: And ah by the way, Discord, lot with Flav mentioned that he um he looks like a lot of people. ah There is a collage created from Flav's other podcast, Jaffan, and the community there have created like three images of where Flav looks like different people.

00:24:56.38
Ricky: Yeah.

00:25:03.03
Gareth Flavell: And I have all of those and I'll post them in the Discord.

00:25:05.43
Ricky: Yeah, post them it

00:25:05.83
Gareth Flavell: It it is absolutely fantastic. It's so funny how that you, that but I mean, some of them are quite way off, but some of them are just, yeah, fucking mental.

00:25:13.88
Ricky: and someone them. Some of them are like spot Like people think, but some people think it's real that I am actually playing the sax. I've learned the sax. That's what people think.

00:25:24.92
Gareth Flavell: ah

00:25:25.14
Ricky: All right, what are we doing then? See?

00:25:26.46
Gareth Flavell: so Yeah, so Friends That Drift Apart sent in by someone from Patreon.

00:25:26.57
Ricky: All right.

00:25:31.29
Gareth Flavell: Who was your childhood childhood best mate?

00:25:33.15
Ricky: Peter Pantesis, his name was.

00:25:35.55
Gareth Flavell: Who?

00:25:36.15
Ricky: Yeah, Peter Pantesis. He's my first best friend when I was about four years old at school, a little Greek boy. um We were like busy mates for a bit. um Yeah, then…

00:25:47.54
Gareth Flavell: I've never heard of that name ever.

00:25:49.86
Ricky: I haven't thought about it for like 35 years until you just brought it up.

00:25:51.83
Gareth Flavell: Right, okay.

00:25:54.25
Ricky: You said my first, that was mine. What was yours?

00:25:56.82
Gareth Flavell: Well, I mean, mine's like Wiley, Charlesy, all my mates that you've met.

00:26:05.55
Ricky: What from nursery?

00:26:06.49
Gareth Flavell: from yeah from a yeah from ah There used to be a thing called, is it called Rising Fives? The bit before you go to preschool.

00:26:16.08
Ricky: Right.

00:26:16.92
Gareth Flavell: ah And that's where I met them, at the local annex.

00:26:20.28
Ricky: Yeah.

00:26:21.02
Gareth Flavell: ah like A bolt to the end of the school. And my mum said… When did you drop my sister off to this preschool thing? Uh, my sister was just, you know, clutching to her apron, that kind of crying and all that.

00:26:32.44
Ricky: Yeah.

00:26:33.74
Gareth Flavell: ah And then with me, she introduced me. i just ran off of all the other kids. I didn't even look back. And those three lads that I was knocking about with then Wiley, Charles, and Harris, that's who I hang around with now.

00:26:50.46
Ricky: yeah

00:26:54.04
Ricky: Yeah.

00:26:54.20
Gareth Flavell: It's fucking mental.

00:26:55.16
Ricky: We never wanted to sort of

00:26:58.42
Gareth Flavell: no Well, I mean, what, to branch out?

00:27:01.67
Ricky: No, I to something, aren't they?

00:27:02.97
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, I mean, of them are gooners. So, yeah, they are they are listening to this.

00:27:07.35
Ricky: Oh, bless you. Bless you, lads. They're good, lads.

00:27:09.24
Gareth Flavell: they Yeah, two of them are gooners. you know, yeah there are times, there there have been a lot of times. moreton More than some of them, recent times where I've wanted to just leave the WhatsApp group.

00:27:19.57
Ricky: Because it's just the three of you.

00:27:21.08
Gareth Flavell: ah Yeah, just to free of us.

00:27:25.03
Ricky: of my gooners.

00:27:25.94
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, but we to be fair, there isn't really, you know, there's that mutual kind of, we won't really talk about it.

00:27:26.89
Ricky: Oh.

00:27:33.75
Gareth Flavell: We're mates, first of all, and that football's after.

00:27:33.88
Ricky: Yeah. Yeah.

00:27:36.03
Gareth Flavell: There might be a couple of, you know, if Tottenham lost to Brentford, I go in the WhatsApp group and there's an emoji of a B.

00:27:42.88
Ricky: But yeah, get out a lot.

00:27:43.19
Gareth Flavell: and like that that Those types of, that those ones, which is fair enough, fair enough.

00:27:45.72
Ricky: Yeah. Guess you know, you get sure you want to like, I know it's just a picture of the B, but I also want to strangle you till you can't breathe anymore.

00:27:52.98
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:27:57.14
Gareth Flavell: Have you… heard this like This Peter… What's his name? Peter Pantsini?

00:28:03.03
Ricky: Peter Pantesi's.

00:28:04.21
Gareth Flavell: Pantsini? That's a fucking great surname.

00:28:05.24
Ricky: Yeah. Yeah.

00:28:07.35
Gareth Flavell: you

00:28:07.38
Ricky: It's a Greek, little Greek boy.

00:28:10.01
Gareth Flavell: No little look up on Facebook, see what he's doing for himself, or…

00:28:13.27
Ricky: ah No, I i don't know how to pronounce his surname. I don't i don't know. So there was a couple more. As I got older, we had like, there's, i had like Chris, Chris Darian that went to pre primary league school, primulip.

00:28:26.82
Ricky: primary league school primary school primary school went to primary school with him we were mates for a long long time used to hang out a lot used to go around his house all the time um there was a leon davies i used to go to school davis used to go to hybrid grove with um we'd hang out every single day i'd knock for him every morning we'd go to you know we'd do the warts secondary school all of that

00:28:27.64
Gareth Flavell: ah Premier League's good.

00:28:54.90
Ricky: But ah when I went to college, I just didn't cut them out willfully. i just We just stopped. I think what you realize is is that school and circumstances bring a lot of people together.

00:29:08.32
Ricky: And as human beings, you want to be liked and you want to fit into something. You don't want to be on your like on your own, right?

00:29:15.96
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:29:16.89
Ricky: So you make efforts to speak to people, even though probably deep down they're not.

00:29:25.87
Ricky: it's not organic like it was with us.

00:29:28.86
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:29:29.50
Ricky: It's more you're making an effort. And I think I felt like for a long time, I think we all felt like we were just making an effort with each other. We were at school together, were close together, we walked the same way to school, so therefore you were just friends rather than really being friends.

00:29:42.23
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:29:46.30
Gareth Flavell: genuine connection.

00:29:48.15
Ricky: Yeah, and there were a couple of things that happened during secondary school where I even but back then I was like, I don't like that. I don't like what you've done.

00:29:56.85
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:29:56.88
Ricky: I don't like how this scenario has played out. And I thought to myself, the minute I get the opportunity to just… be somewhere else I'm going to be and that is what happened so i don't I don't I don't know where what Chris is doing I don't know what Leon's doing um the only one a friend I think at the time my true friend there was um would have been Shyam guy called Shyam I've mentioned a couple of times yeah you know because I've always like I've had a propensity for brown brown men

00:30:08.50
Gareth Flavell: Wow, okay.

00:30:25.59
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, you have, yeah.

00:30:30.09
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah. The best of men.

00:30:31.96
Ricky: The best of men, yeah.

00:30:32.76
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:30:33.00
Ricky: And Cheyenne was the first. And could be the best. I'm not sure.

00:30:37.75
Gareth Flavell: that See, when you said that, that hurt.

00:30:38.15
Ricky: Right. Yeah. okay

00:30:40.95
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:30:41.46
Ricky: Okay. Sorry. so the

00:30:43.96
Gareth Flavell: ah

00:30:44.60
Ricky: so that So there was that. that was But I think he we all just sort of floated away. We all drifted away. And would say out of all of my mates, I would consider Cheyenne a mate.

00:30:55.70
Ricky: um But then he sort of fell in love with the girl I fancied. And that was the end of that.

00:31:00.76
Gareth Flavell: Women.

00:31:01.85
Ricky: fucking getting ready at the end of the night.

00:31:02.87
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, and I know.

00:31:04.18
Ricky: Yeah.

00:31:04.47
Gareth Flavell: And you've never… Like, say, this ah Leon Davis, or whatever his name was, right?

00:31:09.24
Ricky: Yeah.

00:31:09.57
Gareth Flavell: So you're walking to school every single day. You're chatting, laughing, talking about football, women, whatever it might be.

00:31:17.53
Ricky: Yeah.

00:31:18.58
Gareth Flavell: And then you were just like, ah this relationship wasn't really…

00:31:22.22
Ricky: It's just one day we never

00:31:25.67
Ricky: Yeah, one day we just never we never spoke again. It wasn't like a conscious thing. I just went to, I started going to college.

00:31:29.98
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:31:33.34
Ricky: It was women again, actually. I got to i went to college and in Northeast London and I was there five days a week and I met made new friends. Shian was there with me.

00:31:43.90
Gareth Flavell: Right, yeah, yeah.

00:31:43.89
Ricky: Shian was there, yeah. Also got, we me and Shian worked together at Woolworths as well.

00:31:48.63
Gareth Flavell: Right, okay.

00:31:49.53
Ricky: Yeah, he escaped the great sacking of 1997. seven

00:31:56.39
Gareth Flavell: Hang on a second.

00:31:56.38
Ricky: where

00:31:57.70
Gareth Flavell: that the You know you're saying the great sacking, but didn't you get sacked for stealing in the Twix?

00:32:03.19
Ricky: Yes.

00:32:03.99
Gareth Flavell: so But but were were there other people that were sacked?

00:32:06.65
Ricky: Yeah, loads.

00:32:07.64
Gareth Flavell: Really?

00:32:10.01
Ricky: Yeah, the great the great sacking of 96, 97.

00:32:12.73
Gareth Flavell: ah

00:32:14.88
Ricky: Yeah, I was hungry and I was starving and we were doing a late shift until nine o'clock and I was like, there's a Twix right there. I'm starving. I'm just going eat it Who's going know? It's fucking multi-million pound business that actually went out business.

00:32:28.34
Ricky: And ah yeah they installed cv cc see CCTV cameras because people were nicking proper stuff.

00:32:35.99
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:32:36.92
Ricky: So I've got to say.

00:32:38.49
Gareth Flavell: I mean, like, come on, man. Like, can you not take into consideration someone is working late. They're hungry. They just had a Twix. They can replace it right? They can give you the money. They can apologize. And to sack them, it's just a bit like…

00:32:54.33
Ricky: Yeah, I didn't really give a shit.

00:32:56.28
Gareth Flavell: know, but…

00:32:57.62
Ricky: I've got another job, mother care. So these are the things actually, these are the things that are happening is that you you just move apart and and you realize that the true friendship like you've got with Charlesy and Wiley, that never breaks, right?

00:33:07.74
Gareth Flavell: Yeah. Yeah.

00:33:10.22
Ricky: But because it's a true friendship, whereas mine weren't, they were just circumstance. And so I went from that to College of Lawyers in London. I got a job in mother care, which was difficult job in terms of the actual work because all this fucking mental pregnant lady.

00:33:26.55
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:33:26.49
Ricky: But I made a really good friendship group there where everyone was just getting off of each other, which was good.

00:33:34.15
Gareth Flavell: that's a good, yeah, a bloody good group, that

00:33:36.09
Ricky: Yeah, so we were just moved apart.

00:33:36.34
Gareth Flavell: Good group.

00:33:37.97
Ricky: Good group.

00:33:38.97
Gareth Flavell: good

00:33:39.90
Ricky: But i the only person I searched recently was Cheyenne.

00:33:43.19
Gareth Flavell: Where is he?

00:33:43.32
Ricky: And he's like a successful financial director in London somewhere.

00:33:43.99
Gareth Flavell: What's he doing? You find him?

00:33:47.99
Ricky: Finance director. I would, yeah, I'd like to reach out, but I'd like, what would say? but.

00:33:55.67
Gareth Flavell: You don't say anything. You just send him a friend request. That's it. and then leave it that, be like, oh, oh, Flav, shit. And that happens, then, you know, one of you might send a DM.

00:34:07.05
Ricky: yeah but No, no, know. But what what, what are we doing? Is it just that curiosity? Or there's nothing we don't we haven't spent we haven't said a word to each other in like 20, just under twenty years

00:34:22.55
Gareth Flavell: See, this is one of the questions. What's the longest you've ever spent of, like, a good mate that you've not spoken? And within that situation, So there's there's two questions here, actually. So when you do when you do meet up with them, do you think, like if he said, like, um I work in London all the time, fancy a pint, would you be like, you know what, shy dog? Yeah, I will.

00:34:49.86
Gareth Flavell: let's go Let's go for one. Or would you be like, you know, let's let sleeping dogs lie. I don't, meet like would you be as transactional as to be like,

00:35:02.07
Gareth Flavell: what what are we doing? Like, this doesn't help me. It doesn't help you. Walking down memory lane isn't really, who gives a shit? Like, it happened in life. Or would you be actually like, do you know what? This lad was a big part of my life in my teens or younger 20s or whatever.

00:35:18.15
Gareth Flavell: I'd like to know how his life has gone and to meet up.

00:35:23.30
Ricky: Yeah, yeah,

00:35:26.30
Ricky: but guess.

00:35:26.84
Gareth Flavell: You don't sound too enthused.

00:35:29.38
Ricky: I'd like to know what he's up to, but I don't know what, I don't know what, i i have I have a lot of relationships, don't I?

00:35:30.58
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:35:36.76
Gareth Flavell: m

00:35:36.88
Ricky: ah know a lot of people, I'm having constant conversations now. I think, i don't know what, I think it's like that was done, that part's done.

00:35:45.94
Gareth Flavell: Right, okay.

00:35:47.76
Ricky: I feel like that it's done. It'd be nice just to catch up and stuff and see how he's doing over the last… Similarly, I had a conversation with someone I met university. I don't know anyone from university either, by the way. All of the people, connections I had at university were all circumstantial.

00:36:00.72
Ricky: It was about the environment rather than…

00:36:03.45
Gareth Flavell: I don't know why I'm finding this so surprising.

00:36:03.55
Ricky: We didn't form… Well…

00:36:07.78
Ricky: well

00:36:08.41
Gareth Flavell: so so Do you know what? Actually, I i don't know why i said that because it isn't that surprising. but like I've worked in many different businesses in Milton Keynes when I was growing up. I went to college. I did this, that, and the other.

00:36:21.88
Gareth Flavell: And there are people on Facebook and I keep up to date with their statuses or whatever it is, but I don't meet up with them. And if they said, do you want to go for a pint? I'd probably be like, I mean…

00:36:35.80
Gareth Flavell: could do but I don't really we don't we didn't have that relationship like you're saying the situation of being there and we were both at college and whatever else it was

00:36:41.84
Ricky: Yeah.

00:36:46.78
Ricky: Yeah, and then you'll meet people that that there is. There is a genuine… um a connection like I met tons of people at Ball Street, but it's James that's like my friend from there.

00:36:57.30
Ricky: And I love the other boys as well. I loved working with them. was fantastic. I went to some people's weddings.

00:37:02.36
Gareth Flavell: yeah yeah

00:37:02.61
Ricky: a wedding well Actually weddings, it's both his weddings. He's only 35, he's had two already.

00:37:07.61
Gareth Flavell: ah

00:37:07.72
Ricky: the I go to his wedding and stuff, but we only chat when we've got like music to share or something like that. It's not, I never ring him up to see how he's doing.

00:37:14.55
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:37:16.95
Ricky: In fact, I find that I ring people up to see how they're doing. Very rarely people ring me up and see how I'm doing. I've noticed that.

00:37:24.66
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:37:25.55
Ricky: maybe it's cause i i Maybe it's because I like a phone call.

00:37:28.15
Gareth Flavell: i Yeah, it's absolutely 100% that. and I hate a phone call.

00:37:33.30
Ricky: Yeah.

00:37:33.53
Gareth Flavell: But yeah, we you call me every day.

00:37:36.82
Ricky: But I don't, yeah, I would call you every day if I could. But the, um I…

00:37:41.53
Gareth Flavell: And you're the only person I pick up to. Which is fucking mental.

00:37:46.13
Ricky: Yeah. i mean, when people ring me, out lot I do often go, oh.

00:37:50.52
Gareth Flavell: My mum rings me and I'm like, I'll deal with that later.

00:37:50.51
Ricky: I'm not.

00:37:52.92
Ricky: Yeah. Oh, bless. um So, yeah, I think it's circumstantial, a lot of this stuff. ah But then there's been moments like, you have like, there was there's a lad, don't know if he'll be listening to this, but Els is els had a mate, I can't even remember his name.

00:38:08.57
Ricky: Neil, I think his name was.

00:38:09.75
Gareth Flavell: ah new ah I was going to say surname, but…

00:38:14.65
Ricky: ah I don't know his name.

00:38:16.18
Gareth Flavell: Was it brown dog? Brown.

00:38:20.01
Ricky: I don't know.

00:38:20.63
Gareth Flavell: Oh, okay.

00:38:21.78
Ricky: Who's that?

00:38:22.81
Gareth Flavell: I thought that was his mate. Yeah.

00:38:25.09
Ricky: Neil Brown.

00:38:26.65
Gareth Flavell: Have I just made that up?

00:38:28.55
Ricky: I don't even know if his name's Neil.

00:38:30.26
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:38:31.30
Ricky: I can't remember.

00:38:31.67
Gareth Flavell: ah Yeah.

00:38:32.70
Ricky: But there was a period in about 2014 where I would spend a lot of time with him. but i met him ah I met him at Elsie's stag.

00:38:41.45
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:38:41.78
Ricky: And because I was doing so much drugs there back then, he was like the perfect partner because he just did loads as well.

00:38:43.96
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:38:47.70
Gareth Flavell: Brilliant.

00:38:48.40
Ricky: And so I'd be in London, I'd finish early on a Tuesday or something like that or from from exposure where I to work. was like, where are you? And they'd be like, um'm I'm in a pub and it's half three.

00:39:00.32
Ricky: And he's like, right, I'll leave work, I'm coming. And then we'd just get on it, like do loads of gear and stay up all night for about three weeks.

00:39:02.82
Gareth Flavell: That's mad.

00:39:09.13
Ricky: And then um and now I've never spoken to him again. though i can't remember his name.

00:39:13.46
Gareth Flavell: And you don't know where you make some Facebook or anything like that.

00:39:16.22
Ricky: not Nothing.

00:39:18.61
Gareth Flavell: It's mad, isn't it, how people drift into your life and then you have these mad kind of connections of hanging out together, going to a boozer.

00:39:30.74
Ricky: Did you go to Elsie's wedding?

00:39:33.02
Gareth Flavell: Yes, there was a photo of us on, there's lots of photos of us.

00:39:34.63
Ricky: So…

00:39:38.20
Gareth Flavell: you remember, rule we're we're suiting and booted.

00:39:39.82
Ricky: Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he did the best man speech.

00:39:41.08
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:39:43.99
Gareth Flavell: I mean, I absolutely would not have remembered that.

00:39:46.47
Ricky: He didn't write one. He just wrote some notes on on ah on a napkin during during the day and then gave a speech.

00:39:52.89
Gareth Flavell: Good.

00:39:55.80
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, I don't… Oh, God, I don't remember that.

00:39:56.82
Ricky: and it was And everyone loved it. was so funny. Yeah.

00:40:00.73
Gareth Flavell: i i'd never remember, but, like, yeah i you only remember a best man speech when you're actually there, don't you? I don't remember anyone's best man speech. Unless they were exceptional.

00:40:10.68
Ricky: He's was great.

00:40:13.65
Ricky: Yeah. what um What about you? Have you ever… a I told you about that bloke I met in Hamburg. Spent one night with him.

00:40:22.43
Gareth Flavell: Oh, this story. I wish I knew the Yeah, tell me…

00:40:24.11
Ricky: It's so weird. i

00:40:26.67
Gareth Flavell: that lot I love this story because i never I never knew this story and I've only heard it once.

00:40:27.74
Ricky: Just quickly.

00:40:30.80
Ricky: Yeah.

00:40:31.67
Gareth Flavell: So I'm allowed to…

00:40:32.17
Ricky: Really?

00:40:32.87
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, I'm only…

00:40:33.40
Ricky: All right.

00:40:34.23
Gareth Flavell: And that's the thing as well, right? We're, you know, the best of mates. And then you're telling me this story and I've never heard this story in my life.

00:40:40.17
Ricky: Yeah.

00:40:42.86
Ricky: why I don't know.

00:40:43.05
Gareth Flavell: And I know you can't tell someone all of your stories, but it's such a fucking mad story that I don't like… I want it again. Tell me more.

00:40:51.55
Ricky: Yeah, yeah, yeah. All alright right. Okay. So we went to, I went to Hamburg for James's stag do and ahve been trying to, I need to,

00:41:05.50
Gareth Flavell: Bless you.

00:41:05.55
Ricky: I need… Jesus. um And I wanted to… so We've been drinking and I wanted gear, basically. So I was walking around the streets trying to find gear. And it was just lots of…

00:41:16.82
Ricky: As is often in Europe, there was lots of African men trying to sell you…

00:41:21.40
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:41:24.59
Ricky: ah

00:41:25.82
Gareth Flavell: Pills, Coke.

00:41:27.26
Ricky: Just talcum powder wrapped up for a bit.

00:41:28.79
Gareth Flavell: Right. Okay.

00:41:31.90
Ricky: um So… ah So what happened was I couldn't find it. And then i was I wasn't ready to go to bed, but all the other lads had gone to bed. It's probably about two in the morning. And I was just having a beer in the hotel that we were staying in.

00:41:45.42
Ricky: More like a hostel. was all staying in the same room. I don't know lads just willingly do this, is that they just go on holiday and they're all like, no, we're all going to space.

00:41:50.81
Gareth Flavell: Hmm.

00:41:54.17
Ricky: We're all going to sleep in one room. I never understood what…

00:41:57.91
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, that is a weird thing, isn't

00:41:59.01
Ricky: I know it's keeping costs down, but…

00:42:01.33
Gareth Flavell: I don't even think it's that.

00:42:01.40
Ricky: Anyway…

00:42:02.16
Gareth Flavell: I think it's because there's more action going on. Like, when you're younger, it's fine. But as adults, I'm like, no way.

00:42:09.18
Ricky: I want my own space.

00:42:09.90
Gareth Flavell: Yeah. Yeah.

00:42:12.03
Ricky: Anyway, so while was down there and I just started talking to the geezer behind the bar and was just drinking and he was like, do you want a line? And I was like, yes, absolutely.

00:42:23.92
Ricky: Absolutely. And he went, come around the back. So I went around the back and him and the geezer, there was like pot wash. and he And he was like, I just had gear on the side.

00:42:33.09
Gareth Flavell: Oh, what?

00:42:33.17
Ricky: And i was like, wicked, amazing. Let me have some of that. and And from that point, as you know, with cocaine, the the like the the you're you're sort of out of control by that point. Not always say you're out of control, like you don't know what you're doing.

00:42:45.72
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:42:45.88
Ricky: You're just, you're suddenly just like, all right, where what are we doing now?

00:42:48.82
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:42:49.15
Ricky: It's like that, it's that feeling. So I just spent the evening walking around Hamburg with this bloke I'd just met doing gear and drinking beer until first light where he had to get on a train.

00:43:04.03
Ricky: And he got on a train I said, bye. And I said, I'll see him later at the bar. And then I got into bed about 10 o'clock in the morning, ah had a few hours sleep. Then ah and then but by the evening, once we'd come back in again, ah i was looking for him and he now he didn't turn up for work.

00:43:24.76
Ricky: So that was it. It was just once and once bum and done.

00:43:29.24
Gareth Flavell: One and done.

00:43:30.55
Ricky: Yeah, one bum and done.

00:43:31.86
Gareth Flavell: That is… Right.

00:43:34.01
Ricky: It was mental. but I can't remember anything. I remember it happening. don't remember his name. it was just a quality night where we just didn't know each other. We just sat there talking all night doing gear, which isn't like I'm romanticizing this.

00:43:46.42
Ricky: I think he's he said his girlfriend's going to break up with him. He was in a bad spot kind of thing, probably because he's spending all night walking around Hamburg with strangers doing gear probably.

00:43:50.74
Gareth Flavell: i

00:43:55.42
Ricky: But ah yeah, it was just a weird moment.

00:43:59.54
Gareth Flavell: but We used to, like, because, you know, that like it's kind of like that, obviously, drugs has has brought you to together. And it's that that bright burning part of a friendship, relationship, just chatting and all that lot. But we used to like, back in the day, crouch end days, back at your brother's flat.

00:44:21.69
Gareth Flavell: And we would, like, be partying until the early hours of the morning. Sometimes I'd go into the front room. I didn't know who anyone was in there. because we we just met so many random people on a night out or down the pub.

00:44:29.78
Ricky: Yeah.

00:44:34.30
Ricky: Yeah, they were great.

00:44:34.43
Gareth Flavell: We're having a great time.

00:44:35.57
Ricky: Yeah, they were great.

00:44:36.44
Gareth Flavell: have no idea their names, surnames, where they were from.

00:44:40.26
Ricky: Yeah, the the the randomness of a night out in London is just, it was just sensational.

00:44:45.05
Gareth Flavell: yeah

00:44:46.05
Ricky: remember I remember, remember going out.

00:44:49.90
Ricky: Fucking hell, I've had some mad ones when you're thinking about it. remember befriending these, like there was two blokes, tick two who, me um a couple i can't remember who i was with and just befriending and having this friendship intense friendship nothing like nothing happened no sexual stuff it was just friends with these two i can't remember their name used have them on snapchat back when i had snapchat back in the day uh

00:45:10.39
Gareth Flavell: yeah but And that wasn't a one night thing. That was a like.

00:45:20.47
Ricky: so they came around they stayed in the house we nothing happened like i say it wasn't and um they

00:45:23.77
Gareth Flavell: Yeah. Yeah.

00:45:27.95
Ricky: We just stayed in touch. I think we met them Camden and they got in a cab and came back with with ah with us. Just mental, mental stuff.

00:45:35.32
Gareth Flavell: like There are people littered on my Facebook where back in the day that I've had a one-day encounter or whatever, and we're just we're we're just mates.

00:45:40.16
Ricky: Yeah.

00:45:42.53
Ricky: Yeah. You love a little friend request a bit back in the

00:45:45.21
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, what I used to, ive ah but over the years, since doing The Fighting Cock, the the friend request has been um it's been on lockdown.

00:45:47.15
Ricky: Yeah.

00:45:54.11
Ricky: Yeah.

00:45:54.57
Gareth Flavell: I don't accept anything anymore. but um So with all these ah friendships and that, Why do you think people actually drift apart? Is it because that there wasn't any connection in the river play in the first place? It was because of beer, drugs, ah circumstantial, or just at the football, whatever.

00:46:15.42
Gareth Flavell: Or because… I've had, met like, could there's one specific person I'm thinking of, right? And I have to tread carefully.

00:46:23.99
Ricky: Yeah.

00:46:25.47
Gareth Flavell: I don't think they're going to be listening to this, but I have to tread carefully anyway. Now, I have a ah long-term mate. We've been mates since probably I was about 13 or 14.

00:46:38.10
Gareth Flavell: We still speak regularly, still meet up regularly. But you would have thought that our relationship would have fizzled out by now. because we have a specific thing in common.

00:46:51.51
Gareth Flavell: We both like each other, but but politically, it's fucking polar opposites. We get into arguments all the time. He says things that are wildly racist.

00:47:05.21
Gareth Flavell: and And I explain this to people, and they're like, how and why are you still friends? And I'm like, if we take away the racism, he's actually all right. Yeah.

00:47:14.38
Ricky: he's sound. ah Look, I think there's something in that, mate. I think there, I actually admire that to a certain degree. I don't think, I mean, racism is a different thing.

00:47:25.57
Ricky: I think people will, people will, will stop talking to each other over politics much more often.

00:47:25.72
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah.

00:47:32.07
Ricky: If someone's like racist, that they're using racist terms and genuinely coming from a place of vitriol, then that's tough.

00:47:32.28
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:47:39.90
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:47:40.15
Ricky: But, But to to not isolate a friend because they have different political beliefs to you and be able to engage in conversation that is ah is challenging is a mature thing to do.

00:47:55.92
Ricky: The world would be a better place if people would listen to each other rather than just be dogmatic about their political religious beliefs and actually spend time communicating.

00:47:59.03
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:48:03.51
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:48:05.65
Ricky: Like that's why I like this. I really like this documentary. ah It was about a man who, he was a musician and he went around talking to Ku Klux Klan members.

00:48:19.20
Ricky: He was he' a black black musician and he's he went to he he would engage with members of the Klan.

00:48:19.35
Gareth Flavell: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:27.22
Ricky: to his His goal would be to educate them in their ignorance.

00:48:33.18
Gareth Flavell: m

00:48:33.84
Ricky: And eventually what he would do is he would talk to them and they'd become friends and then they'd realize that he wasn't the enemy and black people are not the enemy. and Mexican people not the only and all the things that the clan members believe. And eventually they would, as a gift of his of their friendship, they would leave the clan and he would he would he would take their gown

00:48:54.14
Gareth Flavell: Wow.

00:48:55.42
Ricky: and he would display their gown, right, in musicians, in they in his home and stuff like that.

00:49:00.73
Gareth Flavell: Fuck.

00:49:01.07
Ricky: And then with some members of the Klan, he couldn't convince, but they remained in contact. So in any in in some small way, he has had an effect. Like he has been a difference to the way they think about black people. Certainly in in that instance, about him as an individual, and in some instances, completely changed their mindset about everything, and they leave the Klan, right?

00:49:22.21
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:49:22.72
Ricky: All of that comes from a willingness to engage and discuss difficult things. But there are some segments of both the clans and and and um some segments of society that would never engage with anything.

00:49:33.67
Ricky: They're not willing to engage with them. They don't want to hear from them.

00:49:35.26
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:49:36.03
Ricky: They don't want to talk to them. And then you get this division that never heals, a rift that never heals. And no one gets, and' no nothing comes together and gets better.

00:49:41.43
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:49:45.03
Ricky: Just everyone remaining angry at each other. And the left are the worst for it. The left are most unwilling to talk and most uncompromising and most unwilling to bend to the beliefs of other people because they believe morally that they are correct.

00:50:00.15
Ricky: And that is fucking dangerous.

00:50:00.47
Gareth Flavell: Right. Right.

00:50:02.97
Ricky: Because you think you're there's fly again, Rick.

00:50:04.86
Gareth Flavell: Oh, fuck. I'm hoping you wouldn't see it.

00:50:06.57
Ricky: Yeah.

00:50:06.70
Gareth Flavell: I fucking… I got rid your mate. i fucking do it to you right?

00:50:09.34
Ricky: okay

00:50:12.09
Ricky: Because if you think you are morally superior to other people, you are dangerous.

00:50:21.14
Gareth Flavell: ah Yeah. I mean, I don't know if I would quite say dangerous… But what I will say is that I also have ah friends that are left-leaning and right-leaning.

00:50:36.09
Gareth Flavell: And it's got to a stage now where I'm kind of like, I don't know where I sit with them, if that makes sense.

00:50:48.93
Ricky: How they view you.

00:50:49.98
Gareth Flavell: No, no, no. It's how I view them because it becomes their personality.

00:50:53.28
Ricky: Right.

00:50:56.17
Ricky: Yeah, that's exhausting. or That is also exhausting.

00:50:58.39
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, and it's kind of like, if you, like, I'm willing to engage with a conversation with someone, but what I don't want is five articles on WhatsApp.

00:51:09.80
Gareth Flavell: Have you seen the data on this? Have you seen the stats on that?

00:51:11.57
Ricky: Yeah, don't know.

00:51:12.08
Gareth Flavell: I know that I'm just like looking back, having a conversation and that's why like for the drifting, drifting part, right.

00:51:12.09
Ricky: Yeah, yeah, yeah. no.

00:51:18.78
Gareth Flavell: Of why friends drift apart on that side. For me, I'm quite happy to not engage with a specific person and let that fizzle out because we have, you know,

00:51:29.95
Ricky: Yeah. No, that's fine. That's fine, Rick. That's absolutely fine. And you're right. so if you know You might drift away from someone because their politics become their identity, as you mentioned.

00:51:42.22
Ricky: And that that is exhausting.

00:51:42.52
Gareth Flavell: Yes. Yeah.

00:51:44.15
Ricky: like You don't want to hear… If you think about them and think about… If you if you know a person, you think about their politics first, you probably don't want to be friends with them.

00:51:53.16
Gareth Flavell: No.

00:51:54.13
Ricky: That's fine. but but But my saying is is, can you be friends with people with people who think differently or diametrically opposed to what you think, but that isn't the basis of your friendship?

00:52:03.77
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:52:06.11
Ricky: And the answer should be yes.

00:52:07.64
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:52:08.76
Ricky: answer should be shit I always find it a bit irritating when… right the word by the left, Tory is bandied about like an in insult. Oh, you fucking Tory, that kind of thing.

00:52:18.39
Gareth Flavell: Right, okay. Right.

00:52:21.76
Ricky: And I'm like, i don't I've never voted Tory in my entire life.

00:52:24.89
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:52:26.65
Ricky: I've given up voting completely, but if I would, it probably would have lent towards Labour, right?

00:52:33.94
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:52:34.82
Ricky: Historically, the only time I didn't vote Labour, I voted lymp them, is when the Iraq war happened.

00:52:40.12
Gareth Flavell: Right, okay.

00:52:40.22
Ricky: And I felt like Tony Blair had lied to us all. Now I couldn't give a shit who's lying to anybody. But when you're young, you're more idealistic and you think right and wrong and you want to change the world and maturity is realizing you can't change anything.

00:52:47.65
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:52:51.80
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

00:52:55.15
Ricky: ah so so um But my point here is is is when you say Tory as ah as a pejorative in a fashion,

00:53:08.20
Ricky: You're talking about my family. Why aren't you talking about people I love who would vote Tory? Oh, you're Tory scumbag. Well, no, actually, no. They might have slightly so shift shifted to sort of right center compared to you, but to completely dis diminish their character and their intelligence and their position in society, merely because they're doing what they were told, like all of us,

00:53:21.05
Gareth Flavell: yeah

00:53:33.11
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:53:33.65
Ricky: No one, very rarely people sit down and go, right, I am, I am I vote Labour because I believe, I've studied Labour the the party and the history and I'm a Labour voter, I'm a Green voter, I'm a Tory voter.

00:53:48.61
Ricky: You're a product. You're doing what you've been programmed to do. Your parents vote Labour, they're left leaning, they're teachers, they're nurses, you will vote Labour.

00:53:57.75
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:53:58.20
Ricky: Your parents ah are, well, historically being plumbers, that sort of stuff, you'll vote Labour.

00:54:04.15
Gareth Flavell: yeah

00:54:04.38
Ricky: Now, if you're middle class, you'll vote conservative and you've been brought up to vote conservative and you'll just do what you've been told.

00:54:10.62
Gareth Flavell: o

00:54:10.95
Ricky: Then you're called a cunt by the other side because of it. It's like, it's productive and…

00:54:16.92
Gareth Flavell: How do you feel about the word snowflake? And what's the other one?

00:54:25.27
Gareth Flavell: um Woke, woke.

00:54:25.65
Ricky: Or gammon.

00:54:27.76
Gareth Flavell: Oh, it's wokeness. Snowflake.

00:54:29.51
Ricky: Uh…

00:54:31.11
Gareth Flavell: Because kind of feel like they go like, because you've got Tory and Gammon and then you've got Snowflake and Woke.

00:54:36.28
Ricky: Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, yeah.

00:54:37.21
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah,

00:54:38.61
Ricky: How

00:54:41.78
Ricky: do I feel about it?

00:54:46.74
Ricky: I don't… I feel like someone who weaponises that, not that it's weaponised in any kind of… Being called woke is not going to hurt your feelings. Being called a Tory isn't going to really hurt your feelings.

00:54:58.05
Ricky: ah they are, I'd imagine people that would be unwilling to engage or meet in the middle and have a conversation.

00:55:03.74
Gareth Flavell: Yeah. Yeah, sure.

00:55:05.38
Ricky: That's how feel. And the same people that we use Tory as an insult is they're just unwilling to meet.

00:55:08.18
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:55:11.13
Ricky: But then I don't want to hear what I have to say. If you're not willing to to shift your perspective to have a useful conversation that moves in the right direction, that somehow can bring both people together, then I don't have a i don't care what you have to say if you're not willing to do that.

00:55:26.62
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:55:27.22
Ricky: It's like if if like when a decision goes against you. Like if a decision goes against Liverpool, penalty should be given. To get to the truth, the last period of people you should ask is the Liverpool fans.

00:55:39.41
Ricky: Literally, you should ask someone who supports Millwall.

00:55:39.58
Gareth Flavell: Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:55:43.72
Ricky: They'll give an opinion because it doesn't matter to them.

00:55:45.43
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:55:46.17
Ricky: They're willing to engage in the conversation. They're not partisan. Anyway, I think I basis a lot of my friend my my my um my friendships on that. People that are willing to…

00:55:55.99
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:55:56.03
Ricky: to

00:55:56.43
Gareth Flavell: Okay. Now that's interesting because obviously like you've got, you've gone through a large part of your life and then the the connections that you've made and stuff like with me being older now,

00:55:58.78
Ricky: Yeah.

00:56:09.24
Ricky: Hmm.

00:56:09.34
Gareth Flavell: And this kind of, um, like you're saying before that you are the environment that you're in. I'm at college. They're my mates. And now I'm not there now. and I've still got my mates from day one from growing up and stuff, but yeah, I think kind of like the people that i tend to gravitate towards more are people that feel the same as me. Uh,

00:56:34.97
Gareth Flavell: And then we have that connection, whether it might be football, political, fucking whatever it might be. But it's very hard to maintain relationships and not let them drift when it's all you ever hear of.

00:56:50.36
Ricky: yeah it's like flat earthers that make it their identity right you're not going to be friends with one of them for very long because how how often are you going to talk about being a fucking sheep and being a part of the system and

00:56:50.72
Gareth Flavell: Yeah. Yeah.

00:57:02.58
Gareth Flavell: I don't think I know anyone that is a flat earther. They're out there.

00:57:07.32
Ricky: Oh, yeah, mate. When when I did, the biggest kickback I got used to get from when I used to do No Holds Barred podcast was when I talked to someone that people are left-leaning didn't like.

00:57:19.24
Ricky: That's the the biggest kickback.

00:57:19.38
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:57:21.78
Ricky: But there's no more of a reaction than I'd got from the two podcasts I did with the Kizu, Belize the Flat Earth.

00:57:28.92
Gareth Flavell: Really?

00:57:29.51
Ricky: Yeah, they're like, why are you even talking to him? And I'm like, because it's fucking fascinating. Someone chily genuinely believes this. Why wouldn't you talk to him? Like there was a guy, he might even be listening to this. I don't know. He was a big Spurs fan. He moved to America and within and he met a woman and they got married and now he's a gun nut and supports Trump.

00:57:49.59
Ricky: So in in Trump's first term, I interviewed him.

00:57:49.72
Gareth Flavell: Oh fuck. Wow.

00:57:53.13
Ricky: And people going, you shouldn't be interviewing, you shouldn't be platforming.

00:57:55.64
Gareth Flavell: Platforming. Yeah. Yeah.

00:57:56.59
Ricky: Yeah.

00:57:56.69
Gareth Flavell: I knew that was going to be said.

00:57:56.92
Ricky: And yeah. And I'm not firstly, fucking don't tell me what to do.

00:58:01.34
Gareth Flavell: Yeah. Don't ever tell him what to do.

00:58:03.03
Ricky: Don't tell me what to do because I'm going to do more of it.

00:58:03.93
Gareth Flavell: Yeah. Don't tell him. Yeah.

00:58:05.20
Ricky: It's like, how dare you tell me? Like, don't listen to it. Fine. Have an objection to it.

00:58:08.41
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:58:09.82
Ricky: Don't tell me what to do.

00:58:10.97
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:58:12.20
Ricky: That's unfair. I would never tell you what to do.

00:58:14.42
Gareth Flavell: yeah

00:58:14.95
Ricky: I don't care what you're doing. right. So if I want to speak to this guy, going to speak to him. Um,

00:58:24.38
Ricky: like if you had the opportunity to interview Hitler, you would. Fucking right, yeah. Gandhi, yes. but people are fascinated even you don't agree with them.

00:58:34.78
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:58:34.90
Ricky: And if they do adharent things, they're just… the Anyway, my point here is, Ricky, is…

00:58:39.83
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

00:58:40.03
Ricky: um Is, yes, after… I mean, I'd spent an hour talking to the flat earther. Would I want to spend another hour talking to him? No, I feel like I've got the gist of it now.

00:58:48.29
Gareth Flavell: No. Yeah.

00:58:50.82
Ricky: There was another geezer who was a red pillar. So this is men that have been hurt by women. Women have cheated on them and they and they believe… they they they've been They've been so badly hurt by these things that they look for sensibility or look for reason about why these things happen and it'll lead them to the red pill community online.

00:59:12.22
Gareth Flavell: Right.

00:59:12.55
Ricky: know the They're not incels. inc cellss

00:59:16.18
Gareth Flavell: I was going to say, is it that it sounds like incels, but yeah.

00:59:18.74
Ricky: Yeah, so they they are part of it. But these are typically men who believe that the society is set up to benefit women, mainly.

00:59:29.00
Gareth Flavell: Right, okay.

00:59:29.28
Ricky: Social constructs exist to benefit women. Men work, women stay at home. And there are many women that believe that that isn't a benefit, right? But

00:59:38.38
Gareth Flavell: Right here.

00:59:38.72
Ricky: you white men have to pay for all of the meals you have to take your when you go on holiday the man pays um that there's this sort of subconscious bias towards women right um which i don't believe i don't believe there's anything as systematic as that and why would there be but it's interesting talking to someone who does believe that because that's an extreme view why do they what's happened And I was talking to him of i never got to do this interview in the end, but I was talking to him on the phone.

01:00:05.82
Ricky: a looks Before I was doing that those interviews, i I would spend at least two or three conversations, certainly with these guys about what it is that they're coming from. What am i goingnna what are we going to get into on the podcast?

01:00:17.50
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

01:00:18.30
Ricky: And he's basically, turned I said, um ah we we spoke and I said, oh what are your plans for a weekend? He goes, I'm not doing much. he goes, I'm taking, I said, I'm taking my wife away for the weekend. And he was like, that you are that's a part of problem.

01:00:32.92
Ricky: You are taking your wife away. You're, treating her you're paying for her there's no it's no equality in society there's a belief this is we believe that this is patriarchy where men rule and and ultimately everything benefits men but it's a lie this is all set up to benefit the women yeah fascinating right um i wouldn't want him ever be friends with this man because it is his personality but it does come from a place where he's been damaged like all of this stuff

01:00:49.50
Gareth Flavell: Wow.

01:00:55.55
Gareth Flavell: No.

01:01:00.31
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah, yeah. think this is, well, Fluey Fru does this. Fucking great documentary. You do it. You're fucking platforming.

01:01:11.67
Ricky: but he would get a lot of heat as well i'd imagine james english he gets a lot he just seems to enjoy the the conversations a bit too much about the certain stuff like

01:01:14.30
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

01:01:19.46
Gareth Flavell: There's a couple. There's that. ah I don't know if he gets a lot of heat. James English does, but ah there's another guy, Liam Tufts. He's the bald geezer.

01:01:33.69
Gareth Flavell: e Yes,

01:01:36.09
Ricky: he ah he's got Has he got quite intense eyes?

01:01:38.26
Gareth Flavell: yes, yes, yeah, yeah, him.

01:01:38.82
Ricky: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was he? Who did he have on the other day where he's talking? Oh, no, you have the um he had the ex-Chelsea headhunter, Giza.

01:01:49.22
Gareth Flavell: Oh, Jason Mariner.

01:01:50.47
Ricky: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you just see, that he's like, tell me more about the violence.

01:01:53.98
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, it's like, they're they're talking about going to the pub and he's like, did it kick off?

01:01:54.84
Ricky: Tell me more about the violence.

01:01:58.65
Ricky: I did a kick off.

01:01:58.94
Gareth Flavell: Did it go on top?

01:02:00.26
Ricky: Yeah, yeah. And he goes, and he was talking like about who's the rivalry.

01:02:00.92
Gareth Flavell: yeah

01:02:04.90
Ricky: This is how it comes to my attention. And he was like, who's he's your you know he's your biggest rivals? And he was like, Tottenham, all day Tottenham, which you know we would did a podcast about um chaps, didn't we, last week.

01:02:13.41
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

01:02:16.38
Ricky: um And he said Tottenham. And then he was like, yeah, we we had some good gigs with them, good gigs.

01:02:23.93
Gareth Flavell: Yeah,

01:02:24.26
Ricky: And Tuffers was just like, well, gigs, gigs, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me more violent stuff. More violent stuff. He's got fucking 400,000… 350,000 followers. On… you think he shouldn't? depends…

01:02:37.28
Ricky: on um

01:02:38.74
Gareth Flavell: yeah he platforms some mental people.

01:02:41.99
Ricky: do do you think he shouldn't what did that it depends

01:02:45.82
Gareth Flavell: No, no, no. I don't think that he shouldn't, but some of the stuff that I hear from the people that he's interviewing, i just, it makes me want to kill myself.

01:02:57.99
Ricky: what what Give me some examples.

01:02:59.74
Gareth Flavell: So there's a guy on there who is the, he's the leader of some kind of right-wing party or something like that, but he's talking about remigration. England should be white. There shouldn't be anyone of color, no matter when you came over, no matter what generation, no matter what anything, like England should be white and that's it.

01:03:20.57
Gareth Flavell: Like he's got no hate towards people of color. He's got no hate towards, but it's England and it should be white. This is the the natural

01:03:28.49
Ricky: gep Do you think that that should that sort of opinion shouldn't be allowed to be aired?

01:03:35.16
Gareth Flavell: I think you should be free to air that opinion. ah But, you know, if he get if he's walking down the street and someone lumps him, you know, he's got to take accountability for what he's saying.

01:03:46.38
Ricky: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a free society, you have to be able to articulate what you want, how you want, but there are consequences that society won't protect you against, which is someone beating you up or some sort of…

01:03:52.89
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

01:03:59.70
Ricky: Charlie Kirk, for example.

01:04:00.82
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

01:04:02.05
Ricky: He… he um

01:04:07.61
Ricky: your while no one should be killed for their views at all, you're opening yourself up to lunatics by behaving and talking and and in that in that certain way.

01:04:14.97
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

01:04:19.30
Ricky: ah And that is the consequence of it.

01:04:22.74
Gareth Flavell: if you If you want to…

01:04:23.26
Ricky: So if you you kind of mate you can't be mates with these people is what we what we're talking about.

01:04:24.20
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, sorry.

01:04:29.21
Gareth Flavell: If people want to earn their bread, right, by being antagonistic, saying wild things, doing whatever, going on a podcast, getting clips and, you know, doing stuff like that, then when you go outside into the real world, then there there will be actions and consequences that you may have to You know, you can't go, oh, it was just an act or it's a gimmick or whatever, because people will believe what they're seeing. So, but yeah, in answer to your question, I do believe in freedom of speech and people can say and interview who they want, although it might be hurtful to me that they can still say it, you know.

01:05:10.36
Ricky: Yeah, um looking at his popular videos, you can see the audience he's trying to hit.

01:05:16.98
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

01:05:17.74
Ricky: There's a couple of Tommy Robinson videos.

01:05:20.60
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, course.

01:05:21.84
Ricky: I see the thing is, again, I would have a conversation. You have to be able to have I would have a conversation with anyone, no matter how extreme their views. You have to.

01:05:31.97
Gareth Flavell: See, I wouldn't.

01:05:33.82
Ricky: No, but I'm in the… i I haven't been affected because of the color of my skin in the way that you have.

01:05:40.70
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

01:05:41.32
Ricky: And I have completely i completely understand that.

01:05:41.53
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah.

01:05:44.74
Ricky: um And if you was to do that interview, you'd have to… It would be about how much you can push back and how much you allow him to say without being challenged.

01:05:52.41
Gareth Flavell: Yes.

01:05:53.82
Ricky: So there's nothing I could do that he hasn't actually already been done.

01:05:57.24
Gareth Flavell: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:05:57.59
Ricky: better by other people. you know what i mean? But what I guess is happening here is that he's just saying, this is an interesting conversation. there's an audience for it. And I'm just going to allow whatever comes out to be said. But it will balance that by saying, I've had Muslims on the channel.

01:06:09.76
Ricky: i'll be I'd have, maybe, i don't know.

01:06:10.97
Gareth Flavell: ya Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:06:14.61
Ricky: but we go

01:06:15.42
Gareth Flavell: Right. Let me just, yeah.

01:06:15.86
Ricky: We'll wrap up. group

01:06:17.15
Gareth Flavell: Okay. Let me just ah quickly. Okay. So the topic for next week is living abroad and the expat community. If money weren't an issue, where would you go Have you ever thought about emigrating your fantasies and dreams of living abroad?

01:06:32.45
Gareth Flavell: Like we know this is listened to by Brits in Australia, South Africa, America, France, France, we want to hear from you.

01:06:43.35
Gareth Flavell: we want to know about the realities of living abroad.

01:06:43.47
Ricky: Mate.

01:06:46.87
Gareth Flavell: What do you miss from England? what are you glad to leave? We want voice notes. We want emails. We we want it all. So send it in ladsanonpod at gmail.com and we will read them out. I am now going to go quickly into something only you know.

01:07:08.54
Gareth Flavell: Online entrepreneurs. A little something only I know for you both. I'm attending a wedding in August and I know something very interesting about the bride.

01:07:19.96
Gareth Flavell: I also know about my fiancé because they did it together. After turning 18 just weeks apart, these two little entrepreneurs decided to sell their pants anonous anonymously online.

01:07:34.33
Gareth Flavell: It wasn't long until they were actually actually making decent money and spent the summer before uni taking pictures together and enticing dirty old men to part with their cash.

01:07:46.04
Gareth Flavell: Soon enough, some repeat customers appeared and the requests got bigger. Typically, this meant recording videos together, never with their face, but very risque stuff.

01:07:59.00
Gareth Flavell: One high roller came along and would spend a lot on specific requests. My personal favorite being stood in the shower in just their pants and pissing themselves holding hands.

01:08:10.99
Gareth Flavell: Embarrassing stuff.

01:08:11.18
Ricky: put in themselves.

01:08:12.63
Gareth Flavell: Yeah.

01:08:13.24
Ricky: Someone, that's the kink.

01:08:14.87
Gareth Flavell: there That was the that the kink. Do you know what, actually? ah i know I need to move on, right? But I said something to my missus the other day. And it was about, I could smell wee. And she was like, oh, would you like something about pissing on me or something like that And then I, then I mentioned, oh yeah, go on then.

01:08:32.92
Gareth Flavell: Like just as a joke. And she was like, would you actually be into that? And I was like, I don't know, actually.

01:08:39.88
Ricky: What a sexual…

01:08:40.31
Gareth Flavell: i don't. know Yeah. And I was like, yeah, was like, not, not really like on my leg, on my foot.

01:08:42.68
Ricky: Being pissed on?

01:08:47.58
Gareth Flavell: Like, but, but people get pissed on in their face and in their mouths and it's,

01:08:52.85
Ricky: Yeah, i don't I don't really understand it. I don't want to be pissed on.

01:08:58.28
Gareth Flavell: I can see your face.

01:08:58.53
Ricky: You do. You clearly do.

01:09:00.14
Gareth Flavell: You do, you do.

01:09:02.00
Ricky: No, no, can't be me.

01:09:03.65
Gareth Flavell: No, never. But then, you know, you never say never. Just don't know what's happening nowadays. Dip my toe in. Now, the truly shocking part, this high roller made them an offer.

01:09:11.96
Ricky: Oh.

01:09:15.34
Gareth Flavell: It started lower, but eventually he offered £3,000 each for a weekend with him. I'm still quite shocked they accepted, and just a few weeks into their uni lives, they spent a weekend with a stranger in a hotel in London.

01:09:29.34
Gareth Flavell: It was in his 50s and Tony Soprano-esque. I won't go into detail, but they did a lot for their £3,000 to each other, him. to each other to him and on camera. I've seen almost all of it, in brackets, he sent it to them, and I'm a kinky bastard who had to see it.

01:09:46.30
Gareth Flavell: But it's fair to say my fiancé sometimes panics that it will all end up on the internet. So, as the groom is told to kiss the bride, I'll be sitting there with a mental picture of her gargling piss, and he has no idea.

01:09:59.67
Gareth Flavell: And that is something only I know.

01:10:02.32
Ricky: That is a power.

01:10:02.74
Gareth Flavell: yeah Yeah, that a is very good. Very good. um Yeah. The topic for next week is going to be expats and the living abroad community.

01:10:13.46
Gareth Flavell: Send in whatever you've got. Lads are non pod at gmail.com. Thank you to all the new patrons that have just come along. Thank you. And to any people that aren't a patron, if you want to become a free member, you can join patron and you can still see the content that's free on lads and on pod, but I would employ you to become a patron patron.com slash lads and on pod. And until then, we'll see you next week.

01:10:42.77
Ricky: Bye.