#17 | Fitness and Lifestyle | the one mistake everyone makes on their fitness journey

00:00:00:00 – 00:00:25:14
Hello and welcome to Lads Anonymous. It's episode 17, a podcast about two best mates of over 20 years invite you to join their safe space where all manner of subjects will be discussed. We'll focus on a specific subject matter first and then answer your questions, dilemmas or need for advice. All handled anonymously. So sit back, relax and enjoy the podcast.

00:00:25:16 – 00:00:35:17
Hello, Flav. I need a haircut. I need a haircut and a beard cut. You can see Courtney on the camera, but I'm scared of going back to the barber because I might end up with a shit one again.

00:00:35:19 – 00:00:54:16
I knew I like when I was younger and I actually had hair. I would go to a place in Milton Keynes. I literally felt like the only barbers and you'd all be on this bench, lining up, shuffling down, and you'd be like, I want that geezer, I want that geezer. He's like that. Or the Corona or something like that.

00:00:54:18 – 00:01:13:16
And then he's like chatting and like, mate, just just stop chatting. I just get him out because I'm next. And then the light that the trainee would be there and I'd be like, oh, for fuck's sake. And then you British. So you just go along, right? Yeah. That's it. You just go along, you sit down, you say, can you only cut it to this length?

00:01:13:16 – 00:01:40:03
And they'll be like, yeah, absolutely. You get your haircut and it's fucking twice as short. You guys. Yeah. You shouldn't be going to a barbers anyway. You should be gone to a hairdressers. This is back when, 16 years old. Even younger. French crop number two French crop. Thank you. We got a friend of ours who has a number eight all over, and he had last haircut was there.

00:01:40:03 – 00:02:04:12
I got nothing, just. Yeah, it's number eight all over. Please. And never once attained. Never. I never guess where the missus is gone. But where are fucking Hindu? Why? So you got a weekend off? I've got a weekend where I've got to look after my own kids. Oh, fuck that, fuck that. I had to do that last weekend as well because she was ill at the scene.

00:02:04:12 – 00:02:23:05
Look after them. What what what what? Look, we need to episode next week's episode. I'm telling you what it is now. Know what the what you're going to do. I know what you're thinking. That's in two weeks. Why two weeks? Why not just trust me? Trust me. Just tell it. Just trust me, okay? All right. And, So what?

00:02:23:07 – 00:02:49:12
What? So what? So. Yeah. But like what? You. Why can't you send the kids off to, like, grandparents? Well, on Saturday, I have arranged for there's a co-management situation going on whereby it's my mum and my mother in law. Looking after the kids on the Saturday because we're going to the football. Yeah. So, off out early in the morning and coming back, you know, a reasonable hour up.

00:02:49:14 – 00:03:08:02
But yeah, we need to, Oh, well, I need to get back and look after the kids. And then Sunday that I can't really do it on a hangover, so I need to I need to kind of I'm going to be doing on you over, you know, you're going to be doing a hangover, so I don't want to, mate.

00:03:08:02 – 00:03:27:07
I'm coming to town at night with each other for the first time this season. Yeah, right. So what do we have to do to get battered? Battered straight away? Really? I can't remember the game. I don't remember the game. I might not even go to the game. Yeah, that's not going. But the game is going to ruin anyway, right?

00:03:27:09 – 00:03:42:13
We're not going to the game. We are going to get battered. Joining NATO. I am you, your grandparents, your your mama, your dad. They're going to be fuming with you. Fuming what? Like you do then going anywhere? What, like an abandoned you when you're 40 years old? That's weird. No one is abandoned to 40 years old. It's impossible.

00:03:42:15 – 00:03:58:04
It's not like I haven't done this a million times before. Anyway. I know who you are. Yeah, exactly right. They tell you I am so, so so what you need to do, say you're going to be back at six. What time will you be back to I have you, yeah. To tell me who I am. What? What are they going to do?

00:03:58:10 – 00:04:16:14
They can't abandon you because you're an adult and you don't really need them anymore. Lie. And they're not going to abandon the grandchildren because I'll be able. So they're just going to put up with it. They have to stay. That's it. Yeah. You got to stay. Sorry. I'm not coming back. Stay. Where are you? I'm currently in a toilet, don't you think?

00:04:16:14 – 00:04:32:11
Just come back. Look up the children. You're looking after them. What? We agreed this. Yeah, that's the end of the day. Job. The job? You got one? Got one job? Yeah. Hey, hey. One job. Do it. You brought me into this world. I didn't ask to be brought here. You brought me here. Now you do this for me.

00:04:32:12 – 00:04:57:19
Can you see how pink my faces is? How you got two sons and my. You can't really see it because I got fucking lights on. What did you do yesterday? I went fishing yesterday for three hours. I just sat in the sun, and it doesn't normally happen, but I am burnt. But my arms. I was having a shower this morning, and the water on my skin was stinging.

00:04:57:19 – 00:05:24:17
Oh, I got punched. Hey, did you really? Yeah, like John Bass found. I'll make a friend. A mutual friend of a strong bass. He found this day rave slash live music thing that was happening to celebrate Independence Day. Because it was at this point during the war, the the Netherlands regained independence from Nazi rule. France pretty much to the British.

00:05:24:17 – 00:05:50:20
You're welcome. Yeah. And, and then a big celebration and, I did notice that they were flying Netherlands flags, and I think they should have been flying Union Jack flags because that's only supposed to be saying thanks for this. Yeah. Thank you for liberating. I think they can go back to being Dutch now. He's. And they don't even like us there either, because we fucking act like dickheads in that, you know?

00:05:50:22 – 00:06:09:10
But yeah, because we've had this lovely sort of day. Ray thing, and I was sitting in the San Jose and magic mushrooms again, and and it was just beautiful. Isn't the most content I've been in a long, long time. SAT there for about 2 or 3 hours chatting, have a nice trade, good people. There's nothing better really, than a few beers in the sun.

00:06:09:12 – 00:06:32:13
With good. There's not that there is not. And some say knock knock likes and loads of ciggies as well. Literally changed my life change. Yeah. Okay. Maybe give it to me. Which is, which is quite, relevant for, today's podcast actually, we are going to be going onto Fitness and Lifestyle. That is the topic for this week.

00:06:32:13 – 00:06:58:24
But before we're going to pop back to a couple. Yeah. I just want to quickly ask you, what about our person? And what we look like means what should we be talking about? Fitness and health. Well, we actually did have an email in from a gentleman which did spark this. I will read it out. Now, let me, let me find it.

00:06:59:01 – 00:07:27:15
I think talking about health would be a good topic, from working out to eating healthy as an American, where the fat is country. But it seems like almost, like also the most driven to be healthier and to live healthier. That's in quotes because everything here is processed. Curious what your lifestyles are like. Cheers, lads. Ask a question so it's, we are going to be going on to that.

00:07:27:15 – 00:07:50:00
Okay. I know for both of you, for both of us that we have aspirations and those aspirations die because we just can't be fucked. We want to get there, but it's just too much. Yeah. That's it. So we'll we'll dig, a little bit deeper into that. All right. That's fine. We had an email. You know what? We had loads of emails.

00:07:50:02 – 00:08:16:20
Not about this, but about a specific point, which I'll get to. Okay. All right. Automatic download here. I still, I would just share my story of heartbreak after listening to your heartbreak episode. The part really got me in the field when Flav spoke about his nan. We've had a lot of social and emails about you speaking about your, such thought you'd like to know if you haven't seen it.

00:08:16:22 – 00:08:37:22
I haven't. My mum was diagnosed with dementia at 54 years old. Unfortunately, after a seven year battle, she passed away at 61. I'll never forget the moment when she looked at me in the eyes and didn't know who I was. The more heartbreaking thing for me was that she never got the opportunity to be a grandmother. My son was born not long after, but she passed on.

00:08:37:22 – 00:09:11:09
I have another one on the way. If there's one thing I would say to anyone who still has both their parents around, or for that matter of family in general, tell them you love them at any moment because you never know when it will be the last time. Keep up the good work. Yeah. Your, your conversation about your nan sparked a lot of emails coming in and people it resonating with them where they've had heartbreak from a situation like that.

00:09:11:11 – 00:09:29:00
And it did take me a back actually listening to it, because I've never heard that story from from myself. Yeah. No, I've never told it and not even I haven't even told my wife. Because like I said on the podcast, listening back to it, I wasn't the one. You bring that up. That's like, how do you bring up that?

00:09:29:00 – 00:09:52:00
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And let's just sort of like. Yeah, it's just you just don't it, it's not something you want to recall really. But it's a obviously it's on the podcast. This is how we got to be honest. I will be on, on air and. Yeah. So, she never said she loved me. No, no, I mean, lovely woman, but she was actually a bit evil.

00:09:52:02 – 00:10:11:11
She was, she was she had a spiteful edge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember you said to be some of the spiteful, nice, but evil. Evil the wrong word. But she said my dad was Dick, so I think it that said that probably he would, he would not got any brothers and sisters. No, he was only child.

00:10:11:13 – 00:10:34:06
Shit. Yeah. Yeah. So, Yeah. Yeah. So. Yes, I see how it down. Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the that I haven't seen any of them. Ricky didn't show me. But mate, you've got you've got access. You can you can fucking. Now where do I go. Instagram. Demo. You know, that's too many words in man.

00:10:34:08 – 00:10:56:21
Got another, female listener here. Oh, yeah. I'm I'm a female. I listen to the podcast every week. I find it fascinating, hilarious and interesting to know how the male mind works. I've been looking at my husband with new eyes. I always clock when he gets up in the night for a wee, but not once have I had to wash his pants that are folded like a Rubik's cube.

00:10:56:23 – 00:11:16:16
By the way, if if he did have a sexy dream and it was going to be kind of hard enough, you hide the boxes, you hide it amongst the washing. You wouldn't know when you're grabbing it and putting it into the washing machine. Oh, that's this is a bit stiffer than usual or something. Now you'll be tactical. You got to be tactical.

00:11:16:16 – 00:11:47:01
I mean, how many in your lifetime? How many pairs of pants you're in? You've hidden in some form. Oh, God. I don't know. There has been a lot, a bloody lot. And it's mainly down to, sexy dreaming. Not through poem. Yeah. Poem. That surprised me. Yeah. That that surprised that surprised about that surprises me about myself and saying out loud, I've probably just lied about that as well, because I think you have.

00:11:47:03 – 00:12:10:22
There's not. Yeah. Yeah. I think that there are times where it's got to have happened and you've had to I've had to rid myself of the boxer shorts because you just can't box. No talking, no saving him. No say I can't. That the feeling of oh my God that I, that that and that happening. Yes, I can shit myself.

00:12:10:24 – 00:12:34:24
I think oh and everybody says it. I think it was shit. Shit. The shock on their faces get the company. I think I'm just they say that everybody's had someone around them said, and sounds like I think I'm shit was and they're not sure I know. So it felt different. It didn't came out quickly. It was warm.

00:12:35:01 – 00:12:51:24
Think of oh yeah, I think, oh shit. And then and then but you got and then you go, you haven't. If you shit yourself up. And then they go to the toilet and they come back. I did see myself. Yeah. The shit myself. Yeah. So that's claims if you're on an all diaries. Well yeah. And so yeah.

00:12:51:24 – 00:13:21:04
Assistant assistant job. I wanted to say a couple of things to you. The discussion on euthanasia last week. Do you remember at school when someone did something the whole class had to stay behind? It's a bigger version of that. The reason we don't have euthanasia. Okay, now, I don't really understand that. Because if it what they say that if you've done something, the whole Holocaust have to stay behind.

00:13:21:06 – 00:13:38:17
If one person wanted to be euthanized, the whole family has that. You got that right. What have you got? A guy? One of them won't stay right. Oh, you've all got a ghost. That's the deal. Oh. Got a guy? I, I don't really understand the analogy either. No. So I'll carry onto it. And this might. Okay, this might clear things up.

00:13:38:19 – 00:14:04:10
Some assholes want the family silver and try to convince loved ones with dementia that it would be the best option for them. No, I'm part of a, pet care. I'm part of a care team, and you can't even help someone with medication unless it's from the original packaging. As folks have tried to overdose loved ones. Surely when you're old is the time to try every drug in the world?

00:14:04:12 – 00:14:28:10
Heroin. Having a reputation for giving you a dicky tummy won't matter anymore. Then it goes. Then it goes straight into women have wet dreams too. Tends to be women that squirt during sex despite being able to have multiple orgasms. A lot of us women directly often want to turn the porn off and not be touched. Recovery time is just a lot quicker.

00:14:28:12 – 00:14:50:02
Great podcast made me laugh more than a podcast has done for a very long time. Oh thank you. There is a lot in there. Yes, but I have a lot of bases. Yeah I like you've got one. Yeah. One Jones, one shot, one shot. Yeah I like it. No, no one's trying to send demented old people to the cryo chamber.

00:14:50:02 – 00:15:06:13
Right. Which, people who have terminal cancer who don't want to die in pain. I don't think we're talking. I don't think everybody should have a choice. I think there needs to be some rules in place. Right. Okay. Right. So you have to be ill. Not just. I've woken up that morning and you say, like, you know, I fucking.

00:15:06:15 – 00:15:25:06
I've had the cars going again. Yeah, I forgot my phone insurance and I've just dropped my phone. Oh, fuck this, this just press the button. I'm out. Yeah. You can't do that. You know, you need. No, no. The amount of times I've talked about running in front of a truck, like, not like, I don't mean it's. I shouldn't be given that power.

00:15:25:08 – 00:15:51:17
I don't there's things like this. It has to be a particular set of circumstances. Like if you've got locked in syndrome or you developed a degenerative disease where you're going to be wheelchair bound for the rest of your life, and it's only going to steadily get worse. And you're like, actually, no, it's you know what? I'd rather go when I'm a physically able and to make to to to move and be the person that people remember, remember me to be rather than what I might become.

00:15:51:17 – 00:16:17:13
Right? Or it might be that you're completely not fine with it, but you don't want to go to, Dignitas. But but to to remove the choice from specific groups of people. Like someone with terminal cancer who's going to have a difficult ending. I think in some circumstances you should be given them, but I don't think it should be like if someone if like a 25 year old is suicidal, he shouldn't know.

00:16:17:13 – 00:16:36:11
So yes, he shouldn't be given that because in ten years they could feel completely different. Yeah, but if you're terminal at the end of your life, you're 78, 88 years old and you just think, I just I want to I want to make this choice myself. I didn't see the problem. Like, what? Where is this happening? Is this constantly happening in Switzerland where you can't do it?

00:16:36:15 – 00:16:58:19
People being offed for their money, that it's not. It's not, I don't I actually, I've no idea. But I do know when people. There is a lot of hands on the family jewels grasping cause isn't it's difficult thing that part of life. And it just always happens in a. Yeah. I'm sorry he's gone, but can I have all his money?

00:16:58:21 – 00:17:14:07
So it's fucked in everyday. Yeah. Is this. I don't want to talk about that anymore. Horrible. One more thing. Yeah. God, there's an idea. And I said, should we keep this under an hour? And I'm. I'm the one that drags it on in it. Yeah, absolutely. That's what you're saying. You get furious with me a bit now and, you know.

00:17:14:07 – 00:17:44:16
No, I'm not furious. But yeah, it's my fault. Yeah. The. The there's this idea that you should have 100% inheritance tax, so you cannot pass any of your money down to your kids when you die. What does it go then? You spend it on them before you pass. Right. Okay. Okay. What is this infatuation with people dying with all their money in our culture?

00:17:44:18 – 00:18:04:00
Then they might need it. That's a that's a good point. But you know what? They don't need it. They need enough to cover them so they don't starve to death. But if you if you want to, I think they should be more encouraged to like if I, if I managed to amass a load of money and my kids have grandchildren, I'm gonna fucking spoil them rotten.

00:18:04:02 – 00:18:21:13
I'm gonna turn into that last house. That's how badly I want to spoil them. Yeah, that's good little entitle pricks. That's how much I'm going to spoil them. Yeah. Keep giving them like sweets under the table. Might make their teeth rot and money. Don't train this when they come around. Yeah, course, you can swear around the. You can say the big ones go on.

00:18:21:15 – 00:18:33:12
I say. Yeah, go on. I'm doing the also also what train is your mates got. All right let's get you the better ones in. Yeah. Top of the tree. That's how I'm.

00:18:33:14 – 00:19:04:24
All right. Sorry. Let's move on. Let's move on. Right before we jump into the topic today, the people that are listening to lots anonymous, taking screenshots, uploading it to their Instagram stories and tagging us, it's been amazing. We've had people from across the UK, obviously UK, representing Texas, Florida, Pittsburgh, the Netherlands, Porto in Portugal, someone took a great pic of them listening while they were on a plane.

00:19:04:24 – 00:19:27:13
And you can see outside the clouds and I look brilliant. I looked well, I knew dad as well. What did you get the fear? Yeah, when he's on the plane. On that? Yeah. I think the plane. Yeah. I think that we enjoy the show, but glad it's not me and Ryanair as well. You know, one of them going down sooner or later.

00:19:27:15 – 00:19:42:12
Don't fucking say, because I've got to get one of those bastards. Say a Ryanair. Well, normally I get 1 to 2 islands. I, I'm, I haven't built one to go to Ireland yet, but that's going to be in the back of my mind, not to Spain. Where are you going with the Easyjet? Easyjet? He's so much more company.

00:19:42:14 – 00:20:04:05
Oh, MBA. Oh MBA. Yeah, yeah, you tell me. It's nice. It was a fucking hell of an MBA. Cheaper than Easyjet is. That is not by them. They've got like a they've got a, like a at the front of the plane. They have like a premium section, like a business class section, even the small ones will read it.

00:20:04:05 – 00:20:24:00
Yeah. And they put a curtain. So separate the scum from the halves. Good. I lost my back to you for being what you go premium. Oh, you got Mrs. Books here. She's. I was a waste of money and fucking waste money. So. Yeah, I think we're better. We should have a little look behind the curtain. Just a little paid.

00:20:24:04 – 00:20:43:05
Get near it. I don't want to stand up because I was on a plane and it was in the sky. I don't never go far away in the plane. Because walking through the cabin, as it's flying through the air and then looking down for the windows. I ain't dying for me. Right. Okay, I I'm all right, but I can, I can do, I can go for a way I can.

00:20:43:05 – 00:21:02:20
I don't really want to go for a pay on a plane, but I have so different. It's a mental space. Well, well, yeah. Well, I mean, like, you're in a toilet and there's always a queue and they know that you're having a poop. And I don't want people to know that I'm having a pub, and then they have to open the door and I get hit by that warm air of puberty.

00:21:02:22 – 00:21:19:06
Yeah. Pay that straight in the face. Why? But you. I thought you were just scared to have a poo. It was a different thing. I'm sorry I don't show up. I'd be comfortable having a poo. I just so I just want to sit on. But I just want to be over it.

00:21:19:08 – 00:21:40:23
Fitness and lifestyle. Right. You ready? Yeah. Today's. Today's topic is fitness and lifestyle. You just didn't go. That's not. That's fine. When you say I'm ready. I don't know what you're talking about. Ready for what? How many times you've done this podcast fitness to say the same thing at the same time? Yeah, but no one does that. When is that anyone?

00:21:41:00 – 00:22:06:13
Well, it's never worked with 17 episodes in. Why? We carry on trying. Because it's fun. All right. Is it okay? Well, for you, it doesn't look like it's for. It's not fun. Let's do it. Yeah, it. Today's topic is fitness advice. Yeah. Fit in. Yeah. Good good, good. So read out the email from the, American gentleman.

00:22:06:15 – 00:22:30:19
What is your current lifestyle? And I'm talking about we'll break it down. First of all, what's your Monday to Friday lifestyle. What do you got Brown new like what in terms of health is it. Yeah normal. So but we'll we'll start in the morning. Do you, do you have breakfast. You know what I have for breakfast. Why are you asking me.

00:22:30:19 – 00:22:56:00
No. What I have for breakfast. Three poached eggs. Yeah. Jesus Christ, yeah. I don't have that. That's a madness. No, it ain't a madness. That's about as healthy as you can fucking get for this. Yeah, yeah. Free poached eggs. So what you said to. Yeah. Yeah, I think poached eggs, they go small. You need free sustenance. So lunch entree, be a sandwich or something.

00:22:56:00 – 00:23:25:02
Yeah. But I look in terms of health kicks I, I do the ag1. I still do that every morning. I think that makes a difference. But my problem is fats, not fats. It's momentum. When I get into the right mindspace, I'm good, I eat healthy, I go to the gym, I walk the dog, I stop drinking, and I feel great.

00:23:25:04 – 00:23:51:07
Yeah, but boring. Very boring. Okay. All kinds of gym. Boring. Eating me. Boring. Just going. Yeah. Going to the gym is the worst. Boring and the worst. Yeah, but that's the problem. So what do you do? Like how much of it is, do I want to spend healthy and bored or unhealthy and fucking loving it? That's the balance.

00:23:51:09 – 00:24:17:04
Yeah, I was going to say that. It's it's a it's a fine line, isn't it? So if you, say during the week, would you normally have, so during the week you eat healthily I say. So you have your breakfast such as grab a sauna and then dinner time. You, you normally cook a lot of the time I do cook and then and the wife cooks.

00:24:17:04 – 00:24:36:22
But what I'm saying is it's not a jar of dull mayo or a jar of that, not the dull mayo. Right. Do you used, I sometimes fuck, you know. What are you saying? You're saying you feel you're making all day to fucking make it right? Go from scratch? I was going to say amount of time going about your ragu.

00:24:36:23 – 00:24:53:15
I do make a good ragu. I'm just saying. The kids are hungry. They're coming back from school. They haven't got time to sit down for me, for so fucking. So, you know, cook and reduce tomatoes to juice, can I? Well, this is good. This is a good. This is a good point. Sometimes that's got you sugary dough mayo.

00:24:53:15 – 00:25:23:08
Sometimes I have to do it right. Okay. So you, it's about kids then? About. Yeah. Your food intake and how you cook, processed or not or whatever it is. Because when my kids get home from school at half rate and then at 5:00, they will be absolutely students. Yeah, yeah. So there's that time, you know, like, what, am I going to do something quick that's going to be quick.

00:25:23:10 – 00:25:46:00
And the quickest stuff really probably isn't as nutritious as it is these companies fucking get you. That's why trick they know they got to make it convenient. They've got to make it full of sugar and salt. So satisfying to eat. And kids like it. And they know that they will get parents of which most of us are. Yeah, in this way.

00:25:46:02 – 00:26:10:16
So. But what we had last night so we do is one of those veg veg boxes. Right. Looks loose. So you don't know what you get. It's just all organic veg. Yeah. Yeah yeah, yeah I've heard of that. Yeah. We got purple carrots yesterday banging me the devil. You know the different, you know the purple carrots.

00:26:10:18 – 00:26:33:04
No. It's the first time in my life I've ever seen one. But the difference in the taste of the food in that organic box compared to what you get in a supermarket, is night and day. I cannot tell you how much better this stuff tastes. It tastes incredible. Broccoli tastes it like. It just tastes of nothing in a supermarket.

00:26:33:09 – 00:26:51:17
We had this meal last night. The Mrs. cooks it and it was. It was pretty simple as a salad. We had some roast veg, some broccoli and a quiche and another quiche. Can't go wrong with a quiche. Might love the quiche. Might love it. But last thing I'd eat when I was a kid. Now I can't get enough of them.

00:26:51:17 – 00:27:15:12
I'll have a whole one right now if you want. So. So we ate the fruit. And the difference? I'm talking about eating healthy, like, and being healthy. You can feel it when you eat that shit. Where stuff in supermarket is, but convenience and it's not great. That's the thing. And, Monday to Friday, like, if my kids are starving, they want a quick dinner.

00:27:15:13 – 00:27:35:01
They don't want a beef casserole or something like that. Have a casserole there and they'll just be like, oh, can you just do chicken dippers, chips and beans or something like that? And I'm like, I can, but me and mum are going to be no, no no no dad, just just do it. I'm not okay. That's fine.

00:27:35:01 – 00:27:55:18
That's fine. I'll do it. Then I'm like, we'll put a couple more. Chicken dippers on there as well, just in case they want a couple more chips. I'll put the whole can of beans on. Then when it gets too. I don't want beans. I'm actually not that hungry. There's a full dinner there. I'm not going to fucking let it go to waste while we eat the dinner.

00:27:55:20 – 00:28:23:08
I'll have the fucking chicken dippers, all of the chips and beans, and then my missus will probably be cooking out dinner, and she'll be like, don't worry about that, baby. I'll I covered. I've got it covered. Thank you. Worry about it. That's what I fucking get done with. And I'm always I hate food wastage. But it's also about the, you know, the money and yeah, so when the kids leave their plates on the side, oh I, I'm like this secret.

00:28:23:10 – 00:28:39:06
I'll go in and I'll see. Yeah. A little chicken nuggets just sitting there at me saying, go on, Rick fucking I own a son and I'm not. Yeah. Three only, but now I'm being healthy. And then before I've even made a decision, they're all in my mouth. And it's just that fuck. And then in my mind it spirals.

00:28:39:12 – 00:29:02:20
It doesn't. Chicken nuggets. Well, it's would do the chips as well son. You've come down that you've come down that right. Just go for it. Happens all the time. And I just, I don't I man, it's just bastards can't stop, can't stop. But the side with the processed food, even though I do give my kids, I give it to them.

00:29:02:22 – 00:29:26:11
I eat it too. And I love a bit of processed, like like, what? Once in a while, I'll get a little hankering for chicken Kiev. Absolutely no nutritional value in it whatsoever. But I can do. I can smash it out. My it's, Yeah, let's find anything in moderation. Like burger, cheese, processed square burger cheese. Oh. Love it.

00:29:26:16 – 00:29:43:08
Yeah. Not that fucking great if you had a burger. Actually, you know what I've found? Because I make, I make we make burgers from scratch. The smash burgers are fucking simple. The most simple thing. And they are what I'm told. The kids and the wife and the other kids that come. We have this harem of kids that seem to live with us at weekends.

00:29:43:08 – 00:30:04:14
Now. Little Ponies boy called Jacob. And these are typical Mason, and they're like fucking always around. There's no problem. But say, I bet I get the hang of that because I'm like, I'm in. How much money you think we got feeding everyone? I yeah, but if you want a cheap meal, that's relatively, I suppose, okay for you if you you'll call the in mint.

00:30:04:14 – 00:30:25:24
It's the smash. But you just create a little bowl of mint, salt, pepper on a hot plate on a hot pan. But you got chuck loads of fucking your burger cheese in there. You got, you burn, you wrap it all up in a tin foil, put it in the air fryer for a couple of minutes, and it looks like a like a Burger King 80s, like Five Guys or something like that.

00:30:25:24 – 00:30:51:08
Yeah that's easy. Yeah, yeah. But boy, everyone's fucking, you know, they've got high cholesterol now I do I want to be healthy because I want to live longer. And I do feel like my lifestyle, which is shortening my life. Right. Okay. Let me stop you right there. We had an email in that today from. And I thought this was quite, an interesting perspective.

00:30:51:10 – 00:31:11:02
Listener and automatic downloaded from Canada here. I love the pod and the chemistry between you two. Thank you. As a personal trainer, I found the most important thing when it comes to getting fitter is to have the right reason for doing it. Too many times I see people wanting to start working out or being healthier for all the wrong reasons.

00:31:11:04 – 00:31:34:18
Pressure from their families, social media, thinking it's the right thing to do, or even stepping on the scale and noticing that you've put on a few pounds. All of those reasons often aren't good enough. And in my experience, people who start with those reasons eventually fall off the bandwagon due to not having enough time, doing too much, and simply just not enjoying the process.

00:31:34:18 – 00:31:55:09
Getting healthier is a journey and a process, and it starts with having the right reasons. For example, Flav when you were talking about your nan, which made me cry. By the way, let's say that you uncovered a good reason to start getting fitter, which is that getting healthier would give you more time on this earth to spend with your loved ones.

00:31:55:11 – 00:32:16:22
Improving your physical health also improves your mental health, which means more time being lucid and mentally present, which is more time to create cherished memories. If I was your trainer and was trying to get you to be consistent, I wouldn't tell you that working out will make you healthier. I'll tell you that working out will give you more time with your loved ones.

00:32:16:24 – 00:32:50:17
You might have setbacks and missed some workouts along the way. If you're working out for love, you're more likely to be consistent. So I thought that was I thought, that's pretty good. Why don't you go fuck yourself, make, how about you sometimes don't email in about that. No. Use 100 it. Right. And I'll give you a better example of what motivated me was, when I was at my fittest, which would have been about about nine years ago.

00:32:50:19 – 00:33:17:18
Yeah, eight, ten years ago, maybe what motivated me then was funny. Oh, I needed to get fit. Right? Okay. Attractive towards women. And by by God, did I get fit? Not fit as in, but I. I lost everything, all the weight. So much so that when when Holly met me, she didn't find me that attractive. She doesn't like that.

00:33:17:19 – 00:33:44:04
She doesn't like thin men. She likes men with a bit of a. But she's very traditional. She likes men like of the. Oh, a little bit manly. You know, I've got a bit of a baker, and, she likes that she finds that attractive as opposed to a six pack, like a dad bod. Almost. Yeah, but at that point, you know, this dartboard thing that what I it's I think it's kind of used very broadly, but I think there's a specific type of dad bod that's attractive.

00:33:44:04 – 00:34:03:06
Not just any fat bastard. You can just say what? I've got that. But no women like this. I think that needs to be a base, a structure of something beneath the fat. Okay, I say, you're right, I think. I think so, I'm. I'm guessing it anyway. Well, I don't think I'm at my peak at all.

00:34:03:06 – 00:34:26:00
In fact, I don't think I've ever felt more unattractive in my life. Well, at the moment. Yeah, right. Okay. Because I'm getting old. I'm fat. Right? And fatter and. Yeah, I just don't feel very attractive. But. But back then, I had a point. I had a need to get into the gym. Right. And that was I wanted to be.

00:34:26:01 – 00:34:54:04
I want women to find me attractive. And so I went to the gym religiously, man. And I, I didn't really eat any differently, but. So now now you're a warrior now. Exactly. So what is that? What is the motivation for doing anything about? There's none. Because you know that you're you're I want I've, I've got my wife I've got everything I need, I don't need I don't need people to find me attractive.

00:34:54:06 – 00:35:18:15
So. Yeah. So what's the, Someone's got to get me in there. So, I mean, like, this lot, this dude was saying. Not that the doesn't do it for me. No, I mean, like, I, I couldn't be in a gym with loud house music and everyone wearing some kind of, like, lycra and spandex pumping iron, and then me doing it and running on the treadmill and going, I need to get five more minutes.

00:35:18:15 – 00:35:29:15
And my missus, if I run this five K, how good is that last five minutes? Yeah. What I want to do. Yeah, I will can up.

00:35:29:17 – 00:36:01:16
So she might get by a truck. And what, I'm studying for nothing. I would, I would say there is a great fit and a getting fit, but but then when I was fit and I was doing, I was running. I don't know, it's good, but it's much faster than I could do now. I was running a kilometer in about four, four minutes, 30, I think four minutes 45 it I don't I might be in this wrong, but I remember it being around that time bracket and you would I would get it.

00:36:01:17 – 00:36:20:23
I would get a rush of adrenaline. So I would do I would run about eight kilometers and on the kilometer two my body would flood flood my, my brain would flood my body with endorphins and I would feel sensational. Rick, I can't tell you how you felt like. It was like the rush on the pill. Yeah, that's what I can say.

00:36:20:23 – 00:36:49:00
It was like. And then I realized, that's what people, people are really into. I get really fit. That's that's what they that's the kick start pool of of just just amazing feeling all over my body. But I didn't stick with it. Yeah. I'm kind of like. And then I, I flip because I know I'm that guy that like, like you just said, I'm with my Mrs..

00:36:49:06 – 00:37:18:17
I've been with her for a long time. I have absolutely zero interest in being attractive to the opposite sex or anything like that. I literally couldn't give a flying fuck. But, you know, as a as a person, you should want to take care of yourself so you have longer time with your children. I'm with you. Mrs.. But if it's the the balancing of me going to a gym to do that, I got, I need shorter.

00:37:18:21 – 00:37:44:07
I don't want to want I don't want to do that. So then I then I try and have a little shortcut. And if I go with taking more vitamins, so if I then drink more water, if I go to bed at a certain time that I try to do all those things and it's just, man, it's too long winded.

00:37:44:07 – 00:38:07:00
It's the long. I'm not motivated by long term goals or motivated motivated by short term goals. Right? Yeah. So before the wedding, I lost about stone. Yeah I remember yeah. So I run about I did about three months of exercise before a wedding more or less to an off. Yeah. And, that works because I was motivated by a short term goal.

00:38:07:02 – 00:38:22:13
The long term goal of I'll have more time on this planet is feels so far away from me, God willing, at this moment, it doesn't motivate me. I need short term goals, basically. But I do want to look at myself well. I spend so much time on camera, on YouTube and stuff, and I don't like watching myself back.

00:38:22:13 – 00:38:44:18
Right? Yeah. Because you see all that. You're you're so hypercritical about yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So do want to be. I do want to get in there. So that moves me on to another point that you said about plastic surgery. You've, fancy a bit of Botox? I've been offered it. So my wife's sister is a she's a beautician.

00:38:44:18 – 00:39:01:13
She does all that. She has all the equipment. Shit. Really? Yeah. She's offered it to me because, you can see if you look close. I'm kind of wrinkling Crow's crow's feet in my eyes. Hey, we're fucking 40 years old, man. Look, I mean, with with I. If she's offered to fix that for me.

00:39:01:15 – 00:39:25:18
Would you do it? Because he only does a lot. Only lasts a certain amount of months or something. I have to have a little top up. Nah. No, not even. Just try just to see if I like. I have no inclination whatsoever, but, I really don't. I don't the had transplant. Would you got a turkey?

00:39:25:20 – 00:39:44:08
Nuh nuh nuh. Shave it. I think everyone looks great with boot. It's like there isn't someone who has gone bald. They shaved it and you go, oh no, that never happens once you get used to it. You look great with a bald head for it. You better the whatever that fucking thing was on top of your head before you take off.

00:39:44:10 – 00:40:04:01
But we've got a mate who's close to us. You'd be listening to this. He doesn't. Yeah, he doesn't need to go there. He looks really good with, short hair, but not within a skin. It. Yeah, I would, I will eventually, you know. Do you think he would I don't I think he just wants to have hair. I think he wants he wants to have hair.

00:40:04:03 – 00:40:28:12
And that's. What about some turkey teeth? Can I offer you that though? Okay. You look like a fucking. I don't know if anyone's listened to you had them, but they don't look real. It looks. They look fake. Yeah. There's not. There's nothing wrong with. There's nothing wrong with with what's the word I'm looking for things that aren't perfect.

00:40:28:14 – 00:40:55:07
Like I want a woman. I don't want a perfect woman. I want a woman like there was. There is nothing I would change about my wife's body. There was a hundred things she would probably change. There's nothing I would change about her. Yes, I'm. Because it's not. You're in love with her as she is in every form. And I think that uniqueness is what's beautiful about people.

00:40:55:07 – 00:41:14:24
Not everyone having uniform teeth. So they all look like. And what are you doing? You're impressing other people who think they look good, who also have the same teeth. So what? What? So if that's what I needed to do, I'd be I think I would, I don't that's never who who I'm going to be. I don't care if my teeth were a bit yellow or I'm lost.

00:41:14:24 – 00:41:55:22
A couple of them. I've been alive. Where where would, Where ideally would you like to be? So if you could, if I could click, click my fingers. Health wise, in, let's say, exercise what time you go to bed? All that stuff, how you eat is. Where would you. Is it because, I'll go first. I am desperate to go to bed earlier, and I find it's so hard to go to sleep at what time?

00:41:56:03 – 00:42:23:15
But what about after 12, 12? 12, 12? When it hits, I'm asleep every night. When I'd. I'd love that up. Really? But what happens when you go to bed then? So what happens is that my, I, we have dinner, so it's kind of after dinner. We all have our own little chill time where we're just scrolling through our phones and.

00:42:23:15 – 00:42:54:17
Yeah, and that. And then it gets to the time where I need to get the kids ready for bed. What time is that? I always try and get them in their bed. Laying down for 9:00 never happens, never happens that they're going to sleep at like 949. For me, that's plenty of sleep for them. And I, I'm. Yeah, but I if I went to bed off ten or even ten, I can't go to sleep ten minutes after my children have dinner.

00:42:54:17 – 00:43:20:10
That's psychologically if they're still awake and they're 40 year old, dad is in bed before them or going to sleep before them. That's just me. It's just crazy. What are you talking about? Why? I sometimes I have to keep myself awake just because I know that Will typically won't put himself to bed at a decent hour. You'll be playing computer games or on his phone, right?

00:43:20:12 – 00:43:38:16
And if I fall asleep, he's beaten me. He stayed awake longer, and I can't make him go to sleep. Right? Can't say, turn your phone off. Not he's not willfully he's not trying to do that. Right. He's not trying to be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Or being also or anything like that. He's just he just get distracted and then suddenly it's half after 11 at night and there's not enough sleep, mate.

00:43:38:16 – 00:43:56:23
I'm like, if I could sometimes half, nine days and I can go to sleep. But that I would love to, I'd love to go to bed at that time, but I can't. Number one, I can't go to bed early than my children. Number two. But the kitchen is still got me sorted out. The lunches are still got to be done.

00:43:57:00 – 00:44:19:09
The washing and the washing machine still got me hung a lot and lot. I can't leave that to my Mrs. to do. And then her got a bed at 12. It's that I've got to be doing effort. And then I need that other downtime of a few hours where everything is done and everything is sorted, and it's like at half ten the kids are asleep by then.

00:44:19:11 – 00:44:42:19
The kitchen's also at everything's ready for school the next day, and then I need again another couple of hours where I can have a little couple of ciggies in the back garden, you know? Yeah, maybe tuck maybe, Yeah, just. I don't even watch TV. I'm just scrolling through my phone and then it hits 12, and then I'm like, fuck, I should probably probably start getting myself ready for bed.

00:44:42:21 – 00:45:04:00
And then it's after 12. Go to sleep. My phone goes off. Off six. Need to get the girls up to school. I need to get them ready. You'll get six hours at night and I'm fucking knackered. Yeah, every single night. Every night. So you got to prioritize something. You want to change something and prioritize what? What needs, what needs tonight.

00:45:04:01 – 00:45:25:02
What new track to track to this cycle. You call. Oh yeah. You can though. You've created this. You can change things. You can do it yourself. Rick. Let's break this down a little bit. What? So what? So when you say everything needs to be ready for school. What? Yeah, you make it, and that's nice. I don't actually do that.

00:45:25:07 – 00:45:47:05
The school uniform bit. Right. Yeah. But lunches. Lunches. Yeah. So, yeah, it takes about 20 minutes. Right. So you got 20 minutes, but, yeah. I don't think it's a time thing. It's you just sitting down and not wanting to go to bed. That's the issue. Yeah, probably. And I feel like I haven't had enough me time. You're online all day.

00:45:47:07 – 00:46:10:14
Yeah, but I'm doing stuff. I'm working. You know, I it's not your. That's you time. That's me time. Fucking me time. Well well I'm working I'm writing social media post and then, Hey, that ain't a work time. I'm just looking at my phone. I'm the shit. Ricky. You gave up me time when you had children. You that me time that you think you so richly deserve, I do.

00:46:10:14 – 00:46:31:02
I need it, you don't get it, I will you half into half 12. Yeah. And that's why you're tired. You gotta give that up. I can't go to sleep. I can't have my day. Right. Well, I've just been on the go and on it all the way up until 10:30. Like it's. You can't back me, like, every day.

00:46:31:02 – 00:46:54:19
Oh, this, that. Yeah. Washing machine, dishwasher. You need to sleep. And then and then and then it's half ten and then I'm like, right, great. If I can get to do that again tomorrow, where's the me? Time to go to sleep again. You. You have a weekend full of me time. You can't have me time. Yeah. No, you're a pig for me.

00:46:54:19 – 00:47:12:01
So I'm. That's your problem. You think I need this? In order to stay sane? You need seven hours. You need seven hours sleep. That's what you need. You feel I'm going to try? I'm going to try getting to bed earlier. So hang on. Let me talk about health. Right? You're not going to try your best. You're a creature of habit.

00:47:12:03 – 00:47:29:22
You never take advice from people you pretend to say. You say, yeah, I'll do it. Nothing will change. You'll just carry on until your kids don't need you. And and doing six hours. And even then, you're still going to go to bed at half 12. That's what you do it. But why? Why can't I day. Why why can't I break that?

00:47:29:22 – 00:47:55:00
So I if is your stubborn ask you stubborn Rick you're stubborn gear. That's what you are right? I don't like this conversation. Anyway, you've got to get to your. You've got to arrive at the position yourself and eventually you might get there. But I've tried many times in the past, so why don't you do this? And it might even like deep things, like it might be like a I don't know what top to wear or something like that.

00:47:55:02 – 00:48:24:14
Yeah, you you always need to get to the, the destination on your own. And, and it doesn't matter if someone offers you a shortcut. You're like that. I'm driving this way. And that's. That is so funny, right. Because you say that and my good, my listen to the pod. And he messaged me on WhatsApp saying like, laugh out loud about me not being able to take advice from anyone and just do my own thing as I did.

00:48:24:15 – 00:48:39:12
You know, I've never noticed that. I've never noticed that in my life, you know? And you said that. And then I said it to my Mrs.. And she was like, are you having a laugh? I was like, goddamn not. This is something about me that I had no idea about. Yeah. It's not. No, I know that about myself.

00:48:39:12 – 00:48:55:19
Yeah, yeah. You're stubborn. Yeah. Okay. Whoa, whoa, wait I want yeah. So I'm going to go a bit off to. Oh, fuck you. That's. Yeah, but but if you did say you did to switch it to another hour. Just gave yourself an hour in bed. That's two less cigarets. You're going to smoke. That's an hour. Hour. You going to get in bed.

00:48:55:22 – 00:49:17:10
You're going to feel more refreshed. Your lungs are going to be in better position. Yeah, but fuck yeah. I'm going to stay out as well. Yeah. There is a psychological thing as well that I cigarets I got a bed and if I can't have one cigaret and then go to another one really quickly and then go to bed, there has to be an hour space between them.

00:49:17:10 – 00:49:43:13
Yeah. So that's why I think it builds in even more time. So maybe if I cut it down to one cigaret and then go to bed and not be so fixated on these two cigarets, that might help me. It is mental. You're prioritizing the space between cigarets rather than going to bed and sleep. Yeah, I know, I know, it does sound mental when saying out loud, but maybe there's other people out there like that.

00:49:43:13 – 00:50:09:15
Let us know your mental stuff. Yeah, yeah, let us know. And before we round this bit up, by the way, if you got any Achilles heel was like, where you're just. We can't go to bed at a certain time or you can't. Well, while you sit and think about that. Yeah, I, a lot of people this has been probably one of the most, hot topics.

00:50:09:17 – 00:50:47:20
We've had the most emails in about fitness, health and lifestyle, and we can't read them all out because there is absolutely loads that people have said. Calorie counting apps, portion control. Eating small but filling foods like a lot of protein has really helped them. And when I've tried to lose weight before using my fitness power, even though it's a fucking absolute shit bag to constantly scan your food and then do the quantities and do the grams and know that, like it really gives you an idea of how much food you should actually be putting on your plate and helps you make those calories.

00:50:47:20 – 00:51:05:00
I agree with you that MyFitnessPal is really good. Like you said, it's a fucking asshole to do, but that's what you want. Put work working. Sometimes things are difficult, but that thing you said it about, it makes you make better decisions. It makes you think, actually, I'm not going to have that sausage. Yeah, yeah. No, no, that is it.

00:51:05:02 – 00:51:31:05
Sausages. They're fucking. Well fine. Oh yeah. They they are proper. No. A man didn't really realize that someone that was written in hit workouts, really, really good will hit workouts and kind of dumbbells and stuff like that. Somebody actually wrote you in a plan as well. If you want to burn off for two plans have been, yeah, Harry Brooks, who's coaches, pro players really can't do it.

00:51:31:05 – 00:51:51:15
Are you the fucking athletes? Because you don't have to do it like speed can't do it about 10th of that speed. Things like that. Sorry. Go on. And then someone else said nicking a pint of water. As soon as they get up, flushes out all the toxins. Also cold showers. And then I have no idea if I'm pronouncing this right.

00:51:51:17 – 00:52:19:17
Himalayan shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Is it a sub? It's. Yeah, something like that. And apparently they smell. They swear by it. Which is amazing. So if you want to try any of those things and if anyone has any kind of, advice for me and my sleeping habits and trying to get me to sleep in, fucking send them in, send them in to lads.

00:52:19:23 – 00:52:38:15
But that's all a bit odd at gmail.com. I'll give it a go, you know. Give it a go. You know, in terms of cigarets, the only time I smoke or even think about cigarets is if I'm having a drink, like I. I went off for stopped over last year and didn't have a single cigaret as well as though that wasn't a conscious thing.

00:52:38:17 – 00:53:09:09
I stopped drinking in October last year. So when you like when you're in about the gaff like now, you know you're not gonna have a cigaret today. No. Absolutely no. It wouldn't even cross my mind to read it, isn't it? Because I know, like, I used to smoke fucking. Yeah. Well, what about vape? No, I've got vape, but I might, I might, I might have I haven't got one but I might vape I might do have a couple of puffs if I feel like it.

00:53:09:09 – 00:53:34:22
Yeah, but no, it's weird. I've got to like like smoking's just dissipated. But if I'm drinking the factor out, it's instantly amazing. Well, I mean, I hope to get to that stage, but I'm still a little bit. I like a rolled up man. Love a cigaret. May. Bloody, bloody, bloody love a roll up that it's. I mean awful for you, but it's really satisfied.

00:53:34:24 – 00:54:11:18
They are, they are. We've got two dilemmas this week and one something only you know okay. The dilemmas. Should I tell her. And what have we done. Yeah. Something only you know. Double dip. Yes. Okay okay okay. So before we jump into that or Mac download is you, legendary. I love you loads. And if you're listening to this podcast from new, please set it to automatic downloads.

00:54:11:18 – 00:54:35:24
It does us the world of good. It's free on your part and it just helps us in the, in the algo. All right? So fucking help us out here right? The topic for next week. I feel like it's been a bit heavy the last couple of weeks. Like health anxieties, lifestyle fitness. Oh, it was just.

00:54:36:00 – 00:55:01:01
It was a bit. Yeah. Heartbreak. Exactly. So I want to lighten the load a bit. I want a bit. I have a bit of fun. I want to get my, like, dancing shoes on and just have a have some ciggies, have a I have a beer. Conspiracy theories. Okay, I get what what conspiracy theories do you know of that you don't agree with that?

00:55:01:01 – 00:55:26:14
You think it's like a ballocks? Are you part of the conspiracy theory where you live? Send them in the lads. Onion pod at gmail.com and we will ask those questions. Have you got any conspiracy theories that you. I'm super cynical, right. Okay. We'll we'll get into that. We'll get into that. I do enjoy him. I don't enjoy people that are really into him.

00:55:26:16 – 00:55:49:01
Let's leave it at that, okay, I did, I told you. Did you remember I did podcasts? No host, but so did with the flat earthers and a fascinating flat earth like we talk about it. Let's talk about next week. Okay. I got job on the side beginning. We're going to go into dilemmas. Oh. So, just you got an issue for a tissue?

00:55:49:03 – 00:56:13:11
You're a bitch. I will destroy you. I can in your soul, alone in your flat. Please talk to Ricky a flat bed. Let that stress off your chest. Well, friends, you deserve this place like you're safe to get nice and warm between Ricky and then.

00:56:13:13 – 00:56:34:20
Should I tell a automatic downloader? This is simple and sweet one, but I'd love to hear your. I've been in a relationship for for a little while, but recently have been getting some attention from some girls at work. For added context, they are all much fitter than me. That when. But now I'm taken, they, But now I'm taking.

00:56:34:20 – 00:57:03:19
They are flocking like flies to shit. There have been multiple nights out where one girl in particular has clashed with me, and I've ignored it. The one coked up night I've ended up necking. Not one, not two, but three of them. I'm now on eggshells every day I'm in the office with any of them. The question is, do I tell the girlfriend or ignore it now when it's likely to cause more harm than good?

00:57:03:21 – 00:57:33:09
What should I do? Cocaine's a hell of a drug. Yeah, you make bad, bad decisions on cocaine. Does. Don't tell a time. Tell the missus why is it going to happen again? Are you going to put yourself in that situation again? If the answer's yes, then save her from you. Probably. Yeah. And make it. Let her have the decision of whether or not she wants to be with someone who's done that.

00:57:33:11 – 00:57:59:13
If if you're never going to put yourself in that situation again, just let it go. Will the will of the paths cross of, probably the the work colleagues and the missus. Yeah. This is the price you have to pay. You are going to be you can be hiding. Hiding a lot. Yeah. You don't want these. You might just have to quit your job and go somewhere else.

00:57:59:15 – 00:58:07:00
You can't begin tell. Yeah.

00:58:07:02 – 00:58:41:15
That's what it should be used for. There be, Yeah, yeah, I think, I mean, if you tell your Mrs., it will be over. And if you tell her there was three, it will most certainly be over free in night. But a you move. Is he moving towards wanting out anyway? Because he said his eyes are turning towards other things and yeah, I do have a question about that, about women.

00:58:41:17 – 00:59:09:12
Like is it he's a married man, more attractive than a single man for some reason. Like to our women listeners, if they could emailing us, I'd be interested because I noticed I don't I don't know if it was just, you know, I went out in London Christmas before last and noticed I was getting more attention. I actually was still relatively fit from the wedding fit in that I lost some weight, so maybe that was more of it.

00:59:09:12 – 00:59:33:18
But I was getting attention from women. They were starting conversations with me and one even licked my face. Oh my good lord. I was fuming like I like, don't get me wrong, I was like, how dare you? Firstly and secondly, I'm married. But it was my point is it happened, right? Yeah. Is is it true that women are attracted to men who are in relationships?

00:59:33:18 – 00:59:48:12
Is that are they more attractive? Is it something like a forbidden fruit about them? I want to know the answer to this question, so I don't know. I don't, I don't I don't know how women think in this regard, but I know it seems to be a thing. Like a wedding ring is attractive for some reason. It must be.

00:59:48:12 – 01:00:12:13
It must be because for men, for the reverse of that situation, at least, it's like a married woman, isn't it? I know some people see it as a conquest, didn't they? This is the ultimate. The impossible. No. The mountain they can't climb. The men. I've, I think men are more principled in this regard than women. Yeah, I do know some, but I know what we.

01:00:12:15 – 01:00:34:01
Yeah, I would agree if I, if I was talking to a woman and I was single and she was married, I wouldn't pursue it at all. And, no, no. So, yeah, I think we said, I think this, guy needs to, if he's planning on staying with have, just the foreseeable future is a big mistake.

01:00:34:03 – 01:00:52:06
Yeah, exactly. Chalk it off. And if you never put yourself in to do it again, you should probably break it up. Yeah, but also, if she. If she would never find out if a tree falls in the woods, does it make a noise if no one's there to hear it? Oh. All right. In this instance, this hasn't happened.

01:00:52:06 – 01:01:10:10
You know, her brain. This hasn't happened. It happened to you. And you all have to deal with the guilt. But it hasn't happened in her world. It's not a real thing in our world. So do you want to make it a real thing? If this is never going to happen again? If she finds out though, the risk. If you didn't tell her, that's the there's bigger jeopardy there.

01:01:10:10 – 01:01:25:19
But I would say if you're never going to do it again, if you regret it, you know, don't put yourself in the situation you'd be doing. Get around these girls again, then just chalk you off as a terrible mistake and just go on your life because you don't. She hasn't been cheated on. She hasn't had that happen to her.

01:01:25:19 – 01:01:54:10
It's not a reality. So don't that make it. I don't think I think that's a don't. Yeah. Don't don't reconcile that with oh I'm doing her a favor now so I can I'm saying you're saving her from pain that you've caused. Okay. I'm, I'm actually the. You are. You are. And this next one's a bit different. What have we done?

01:01:54:12 – 01:02:17:23
Automatic download here. Loving the pod. Love hearing Ricky in control for once. I'm hoping that's a compliment. But is it because I'm not normally in control or because I'm just. I'm not on it, right. That's good. So I have a dilemma that I'm struggling with. My dad recently passed away. He was dating a lovely lady called Dottie, not her real name, of course, for about eight months.

01:02:18:00 – 01:02:49:05
And then they had been living together for about four. She's a lovely lady. They were really happy together and we all enjoyed having her in my dad's life. Even she and I would go for tea, just the two of us. Occasionally. Since my dad died, her attitude towards us has changed drastically. So much so that she stopped speaking with us and whatever story she's telling it has turned my father's friends, and many of whom I've known my entire life against us.

01:02:49:07 – 01:03:13:14
So much so that at his funeral we were shunned by all of them. And when Dottie hosted a post funeral gathering at my father's own home, we weren't invited. I can't wrap my mind around what happened and why she seems to have turned on us so quickly. I'm struggling with wanting to reach out to ask her what went wrong and why.

01:03:13:14 – 01:03:32:13
She seems to hate us. Why she seems to hate us now, but I don't know if I should bother. I'd likewise like to talk to my dad's friends to see what their problem is, and why they decided to side with a woman who was briefly in my father's life over his own children. I also think, what's the point?

01:03:32:13 – 01:03:54:05
I'm never going to see these people again. So why reopen a wound that I should just let go? I guess I just hate the idea of people walking around thinking I'm an absolute asshole, and I don't know what I could have possibly done. I would love to hear your thoughts on it, boys. Is weird.

01:03:54:07 – 01:04:18:14
I think your if it happened to me, I would walk away from it and never think about it again. Really? That's what I would do because I know that's how my brain is. I'm quite good at just thinking, fuck them guys. Fuck. I'm can control what I feel. I can control how I am, and I can control my circle and who I let in and out of it.

01:04:18:16 – 01:04:40:05
Them lock. It's a shame, but fuck them lol. I'm not going to give them an ounce of my energy. That's how I would be. But he's clearly affected by it. He yeah, he's clearly affected by it. Right? Is impacted by what's happened. It's made me feel upset and uncomfortable. And he wants to know why. And so as is his right.

01:04:40:07 – 01:04:57:14
So you should absolutely reach out to her. And even maybe in a letter you might not even get anything back but reach out. Oh, in a letter. Oh, it's like a handwritten letter. I think in these circumstances letters are good because. Or an email, whatever. Yeah, a pen and paper. No pen and paper. I think Dottie would like it as well.

01:04:57:14 – 01:05:22:08
Oh, maybe. Yeah. But because you have time to compose yourself and articulate yourself in a way that can't be misconstrued, that the written word is quite good in these circumstances. That's mental. What's happened though? What do you think? I would have to find out why? What what what's happened? What has been. Where has this sea change come from?

01:05:22:08 – 01:05:46:13
What? I just don't get it. And not only you know, Dottie, who's shunned this person and the family. Okay, I get it. For whatever reason, I don't know what it is, but the dads mates as well. Yeah, but what was she saying? Well, she she's been. She could be quite manipulative. It sounds. Yeah. She's spreading lies. Yeah.

01:05:46:13 – 01:06:02:22
That's not very nice. No, I'm weird, is it? Look, when she was when you were talking, I was wondering if it was like a will thing, like money thing that she was I. That's how I did think that I did think that. But then I, you know, I don't know. So. But they didn't. If they're not married, I don't think she'd have much.

01:06:02:22 – 01:06:25:16
Right. Ovaries is No. And I think reading this, they were together. Yeah. For about eight months. Lived together for four months. And this I mean, she's posturing and maneuvering, but he's what would have been settled by now, wouldn't it? So I don't know. Yeah, it's a tough one. Yeah. Look, there's two bits of advice. Right. But it depends on your personality.

01:06:25:16 – 01:06:51:21
It feels like you need to know. And so Ricky advice would be go and find out. Imagine speak to them. Yeah. And that instead of going to Dotty, I think reaching out to one of the male friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they would be my, my my feeling of men is they probably wouldn't want to be in this scenario where they're being asked about these questions, and so they'd want it to end as quickly as possible.

01:06:51:21 – 01:07:12:04
So they're likely to give you what you need and other I'd also throw in, as a friend of my father, you owe it to him to tell me what's going on. And then they would be like, oh, fuck, I love this part. Yeah, yeah. Though he's been saying you're a great sniffer. So we, we wanted to stay away from.

01:07:12:04 – 01:07:38:01
Yeah, that's what it is. I'm not I'm not going. I ever sniff glue. Actually. Really? Okay. All right. Well, I don't really care, mate, so either way, let's go back to my point. That's. Yeah. I think, if you do want to reach out, then reach out and go for that's mates rather than the direct route to Dottie.

01:07:38:03 – 01:07:59:17
Another thing because she's older, I, she's old, so I'm going to put it on her. Nah. Yeah. What do you mean put it on a as in, like that's going to smash you up if you don't stop saying. Well, yeah, I was thinking, yeah, I know, just like, you know, when people ring a doorbell when they've got a baseball bat and they just press up against a doorbell, Dottie answers in the standard that I have that smash.

01:07:59:17 – 01:08:24:21
What a fuck. Yeah, close your mouth. Now. A right, should we jump to something only you know. Yeah. Let's do that. Yeah. Let's quickly, Phil, because I haven't got the right window open. Let's do, Yeah. It's good. Double dip something. You know, I.

01:08:24:23 – 01:08:46:16
Love the pot. I can honestly say it's the highlight of my week. So many moons ago, when England played Portugal. And he. He who shall not be named scored that girl that was deemed to be a foul. Anyway, I digress. So the beers were flat and we decided to go for a curry after the game, but obviously went to extra time.

01:08:46:16 – 01:09:08:24
So we decided to take our chances and go for the curry. Anyway, we were in luck. The Indian restaurant was empty and we noticed the chefs were watching the game in the kitchen. They were from Goa so they were Portugal fans. We watched the game and dreaded penalties, which of course we lost. Anyway, we left there with a bag full of takeaway beers and weren't ready to call it a night.

01:09:08:24 – 01:09:27:15
Being only 18 so we couldn't go to that, couldn't go to the club. The local club was 20 ones, so we walked our high street and sat on a bench. Just the. Just then, a girl who we knew walked up and said, hello boys, what are you up to? We said we were pissed and just having a few beers.

01:09:27:15 – 01:09:54:21
She then said, would you like to come to mine? She was okay looking at none of them but very dirty. Me and my mate said yes of course. She and her mum had a few friends over anyway, shots followed by more shots and my mate had fallen asleep with everyone and everyone had left the party. I drunkenly kissed the girl whose house it was and one thing led to another.

01:09:54:23 – 01:10:18:14
We did the deed and I'm ashamed to say I lasted a minute and a half in, but in brackets. Ambitious. Don't that be nice. That's right. Let's see. This is something I do, you know, she'll say. Yeah, yeah. So that's not bad. Actually not said, hey, we've been there, I've been a she fell asleep and I lay there starting to get a hangover.

01:10:18:16 – 01:10:44:01
I didn't want to leave my mate asleep on the safe, so I decided to get a glass of water and wake him up and leave. I stepped out of the room and it was pitch black. I couldn't see anything. So I was walking into the bathroom, fell onto a bed. Shock. It was her mum's bed. Yes, of one thing led to another and he started knocking me off.

01:10:44:03 – 01:11:04:01
She was an old lady, but she was still fit, so I went with it. Then it hit me. I hadn't washed my cock, which had just been up her door. This really perplexed me and made me doubt my motives, but it was too late. Yeah, it's too late. It's not a half hour into sticking my unwashed penis in pretty much every how I could.

01:11:04:03 – 01:11:27:22
I did the inevitable and said I needed more water. So it was. Yeah, it needed work. This guy loves water. Fucking ups. Who got my clothes out of the daughter's room as quickly and quietly as I could and left, leaving my mate on the sofa. The next day he phoned me and said mad night. I said yeah and asked, did they say anything in the morning to you?

01:11:28:00 – 01:11:52:19
And he said no, what a result. I got away with it and something only I know. Nice, nice. So he's banging the mum and the on the door. A man on the door. Say night and there's transfer and of body fluids and fluids. Is that right? That's true. I mean, the thing is, is. Yeah. I mean, oh, I'm not ideal.

01:11:52:21 – 01:12:12:10
No, but they knew that. Do you think they the mum and the so thought I wouldn't, I don't think I'd ever share a sexual paid with my dad. Even if it happened, I wouldn't say. Yeah bang that what I wouldn't, I'd never had that conversation with my daughter I think. Would you like for your thoughts about women you've banged?

01:12:12:10 – 01:12:32:15
But with you, no, no, no, not stuff like that. There's been stuff that's coasted, along those lines and, more forthcoming from my father. And I know you'll be listening to this. I don't want to know. I might bloody well. I don't want to hear escapades. My dad, you know, I think there's a lot of it. And I don't want to.

01:12:32:15 – 01:13:00:16
I don't want to have mental image of my dad on the job. No, I don't, I was just pretty funny skit from, Lee Evans. And he was saying that when the sun goes out and is going out with with his girlfriend, and as he's leaving you, dad says, oh, he gave a one for me. And you're like, that is a common saying that people that people say, give a one for me.

01:13:00:18 – 01:13:39:05
Can you imagine? You got you got your message bent over just as you finishing. Oh, by the way, that one's from my dad. Is another one that's from my brother Steve. That's wicked. I fucking PC myself. Yeah, well, you know, for me, that was my, That's brilliant. That's really, my, I think. Well, we'll end it on, on that something, you know.

01:13:39:07 – 01:14:04:02
You. Did you play the food chain? Yeah. I guess it's very easy for people to come. Views only. I'm the one that gets that theme thinking, right? And I'm looking at Ricky's face, and he's just looking for anything for me to know what's going on. Because. Yeah, I mean, right, that's that's been the end of it. That's anonymous.

01:14:04:04 – 01:14:38:11
Thank you very much for listening for subscribing or downloading following us on social, which is lads, and on pod if you want to email us lads a pod at gmail.com. The topic for next week is Conspiracy Theories. We love you, see you later. May know one another baby. Them night hazy like band of brothers playing tunes high as quiet.

01:14:38:13 – 01:15:00:23
Midnight waves. Surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm hit us different ways. Love of music that we prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band aside we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers.