#58 | Bullying | Understanding The Consequences Of Your Actions

00:00:00:17 – 00:00:38:14
Not a fan of Elon Musk, then? Well, it's a bit. It's a bit weird. Idiot. Like, I can't understand why is he gunning for the UK at the time? And it's like he is talking about it's like the pedo rings and like, it just seems bizarre. Like, what is. What is it? I haven't been following it. I don't have any strong feelings about Elon Musk because I don't I haven't I don't I don't spend my time sort of thinking about it much.

00:00:38:18 – 00:01:16:09
Right. So it's a before Christmas. All around Christmas, he is constantly retweeting accounts and Tommy Robinson to free Tommy Robinson because he hasn't done anything. What is it about the grooming gangs? Well, he thinks, well, a lot of people think it's because Tommy Robinson. Well, people think that Musk thinks that Tommy Robinson is in jail because he's speaking out over the pedo rings.

00:01:16:11 – 00:01:40:18
And it's not he's obviously he's not in prison for that. It's because of the contempt of court or whatever the fuck it was. Yeah. And then he has. And then Farage came out and said, Tommy Robinson isn't in prison because of that. He's in prison for this. And Elon was like, I know he's in prison for that. Like, but you still need to release him.

00:01:40:20 – 00:02:01:21
Well, he so this is just so people know. Tommy Robinson in 2021 was jailed to have libeled a 15 year old refugee at school in Huddersfield and ordered to pay 100,000 pounds in legal costs after breaching injunction. After repeated of repeating the libel, Robinson was sentenced to 18 months in prison. Okay. Yes I am. Why do we have to let him out?

00:02:01:23 – 00:02:29:16
So I don't know. Elon Musk demands full release of UK far right ringleader from prison. What is he going to do with him? I don't know, but he is, he's had other meetings with, reform UK and, you know, rumors to have he's going to donate 100 million to their party. To challenge the Labor Party right now you know the Labor Party.

00:02:29:18 – 00:02:56:12
Yeah. That could be an insane amount of well I think that that amount of money is wildly blown out of proportion anyway. And then Elon Musk came out and said, Nigel Farage is not good enough to lead the Reform Party. Get rid. Isn't it like his thing? Yeah, I think it is. He didn't build it up from nothing a lot, literally two weeks before they were putting up online and stuff like that.

00:02:56:13 – 00:03:15:15
So now we say no, not not good enough. And in the last it was Ross. Now the good guy. We rooting for Farage now I don't know I, I again I have no idea what's going on. There's also I also saw Piers Morgan he's like seems to be universally hated him getting it Tommy Robinson is like pretty awful guy.

00:03:15:17 – 00:03:47:02
Yeah. What's going on. Are we now are we team Piers Morgan I don't know I don't know what team I'm on anymore. I ain't got a team. That's the best place I have. Just don't have a team. Don't have a team. And then, Musk was. There's been loads of, news report ins that Musk has had private meetings to understand how he could oust Keir Starmer, the next or before the next general election.

00:03:47:04 – 00:04:11:14
Why does he want to? I don't know why. Like when he was trying to save kids from caves and building electric cars to save the planet and put in implants in people's brains so their legs would work again. But yeah, let's keep doing that. That's great. Yeah. I remember, you know, I mean, he's always been like, anyone who gets that position of influence is always going to come with it.

00:04:11:16 – 00:04:38:03
They're haters. Right. But SpaceX X is pretty impressive. Tesla is pretty impressive. Yeah, but the implants in the brains that's really impressive. That really moves us forward doesn't it. But it's almost like a board he's like also creates this kind of battery as well. That is that is so powerful that it can run like X amount of households and stuff like that.

00:04:38:03 – 00:05:06:01
And it could do really well in different parts of the world. He's also got is, Starlink this. Yeah. Like the flag I fucking wicked. That's so good. What? Just leave this stuff alone. Concentrate on that bit. Yeah. You're genuinely making the world a better place. Why are you getting involved in politics? Why are you doing this? I can't understand, I mean, I know like Trump is right, and he's cozied up to Trump, and I.

00:05:06:03 – 00:05:28:01
I read between the lines. It's kind of like you cozy up to him and then you can say, I want you to pass x, y, z in your next bill so that. But that happens all the time anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know, a cozy up to every Republican army because they don't want their guns taken away, so they donate them that lobbying happens all the time.

00:05:28:03 – 00:05:57:02
Like. That's right. But what I don't understand is his, his obsession with the UK and that's I mean, he's making it sound like you can't fucking move because it's chock a block with pedo rings, right? It's not that. It's that the perception of the UK in America seems a bit really warped. Yeah, but you know, when, when like, I think like the trumpets all think that everyone's getting stabbed up constantly, right?

00:05:57:04 – 00:06:14:10
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The stabbings you've got like in terms of murders in the UK, I think it was I mean I can't remember, but is that 50. I mean there's too many right ones, too many. But yeah. But 50 kids have been stabbed to death in the UK of course. Terrible thing. One too many. But if you listen ones too many.

00:06:14:10 – 00:06:33:21
Sorry, but if you listen to how it's reported in kind of right wing media in America, it's like you cannot leave the house with being stabbed. Yeah, exactly. I genuinely in my life, I'm fortunate enough to do this right. But I've lived in London my entire life outside of school. I've never seen a knife in my. I've never seen a knife wielded.

00:06:33:23 – 00:06:48:18
I did when I was at school quite a lot, but not not when. Not in the everyday life. I've only ever had one knife pulled on me and that was in Spain.

00:06:48:20 – 00:06:58:10
Fuck. You know.

00:06:58:12 – 00:07:24:06
Them night hazy like Band of Brothers playing tunes high is quite midnight. Waves surfing through till daylight breaks rhythm. Here's different ways. Love of music I we prayed with our tongues in cheek. Band as I we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise.

00:07:24:08 – 00:07:48:14
Hello and welcome to lives. Anonymous is episode 58. I'm Ricky, he's Flav, two best mates. One main topic we answer your life dilemmas and confessions in our feature called Something only you and I and everything remains anonymous always. So sit back, relax and enjoy the pot. How's it going, Flav? How is your room? How's your New Year's recipes going from the last pod?

00:07:48:14 – 00:08:10:21
The. We've got quite a few, emails and stuff on social. Absolutely nothing about me and my efforts and anything like that all about. What are your, You're going to bed early. What did you. What did you want? Know? I'm. I don't expect a round of applause or anything, but not not even a mention. Right. Well, going to bed, is it?

00:08:10:21 – 00:08:29:13
A New Year's resolution is worth talking about. Ricky, I know I wrote a new routine. Is. Okay. Your, sobriety. Yeah. That is life changing stuff in it. It is what people said. Not because you ever shed any of this shit with me. You say it all the time. If you have a look in your emails, and I sent you a screengrab as well.

00:08:29:13 – 00:08:55:12
My email, and. Yeah, I sent you on this morning where I'm looking for stuff in there. That's a lie. But we will and also that screengrab on Instagram as well. I sent you that. Yeah, I sent me that in WhatsApp. So. Yeah. You did you read it? That's nice. I'll read it now. So. Yeah.

00:08:55:12 – 00:09:22:24
Oh, I didn't read it. I did read it. Thank you. I'll just say for that in my. Yeah. What? Yeah. No. So how, how's it going with the non drinking. It's still going. Still going from one day it wasn't New Years evolution as much as I'll give up on Boxing Day, but yeah. I'm like 17 days in or 16 days in seven on the 17th day.

00:09:23:01 – 00:09:47:10
How's it going? I it's fine. I mean, it's not okay. I'll be honest. Like, I'd rather sit down and have a couple of glasses of wine at night and, you know, watch the telly. But it was never that for me. It was always more right. So I, I feel better for it. Physically. Better. Sleeping. Really well, the weight starting to come off, which is good.

00:09:47:12 – 00:10:09:21
Hey. And, Yeah. I'm not going to be dead by the time I'm 50 for carry this on. And so that's, you know, that's positive. That is a bloody good positive, mate. Saving so much money as well as tons of money. So yeah. Yeah, man, it's all so good so far. For like what was like, identify areas of the day, what I would struggle in terms of like cravings.

00:10:09:23 – 00:10:28:12
The last couple, I haven't even really thought about it much. You get to about 6:00 and it's done. You good that, I'm wanting to go to bed earlier, I'll tell you that. Oh. What do you like about 9:00? I'm like, ready? I'm ready to really close my eyes, go to sleep till, like, seven in the morning.

00:10:28:14 – 00:10:44:04
But the kids don't want to go to bed at that. They. I want to stay up and do what they want to do. So I can't really get to sleep before the kids. It's a bit weird. And it. Yeah, I know that's one of my problems, right? Because, I'd like to go to bed at, ten, half ten, but my kids are still knocking about, like quarter ten.

00:10:44:04 – 00:11:09:17
I'm not. I can't then just slide into my bed and say goodnight to my household. And my 11 year old and 13 year old are still up on their phones like fucking about. How do you like when I remember when I gave up weed and my favorite time was in the evening. No, I've had a day at work, I've had this and whatever that was my to let steam off to, like, relax and stuff.

00:11:09:19 – 00:11:34:11
You. How is that going to define yourself more? Well, you wouldn't you realize that alcohol isn't a reward. It isn't a it doesn't give you the things you think it gives you. You just think it does. Then it's less of an issue. You know, what is it? What? So when you're thinking about it and what I've had to think about, if I want to take this seriously is I've got to figure out what my relationship with alcohol is,

00:11:34:13 – 00:11:52:19
And why I behave the way I do. What triggers what the triggers are, and and then so you think about what it is. So you, you get home and you think, oh, there's a hard day at work. Lots of days. Been a stressful day so far. Right? I'll get home once it's done. I can settle down for a glass of wine and that feel good, that first glass.

00:11:52:21 – 00:12:12:07
Great. And because I've been drinking a long time and sort of heavily drinking for a long time, if being honest, the second glass feels great as well because my tolerance is so high in the third quarter. It feels good as well. Tolerance is so hard. That's nearly a bottle of wine, and it still feels like I've got a lovely alcohol buzz.

00:12:12:07 – 00:12:32:08
Most people would be pissed by that. Or oh for sure, I'm moving towards being piss free glasses of wine and that's like within 90 minutes. An hour. Jesus. Yeah. So what am I doing to feel good? What? I'm watching a bottle of wine to feel good. And that's that's. And I'm not saying I'm down in a bottle of wine.

00:12:32:10 – 00:12:59:23
I'm sipping it. And because it's red wine, it's fine. And it's like classy red wine. Yeah, it's grapes in it. I'm not going in and taking a shot of fucking, you know, Sambuca at the minute. I'll get the door, gin or whatever it might be. So. And that isn't positive. What's that doing to your body? Right. And then you get to a point where it doesn't feel good as not as much anymore, but you just drink it and you're in that trap now, so intellectualizing it.

00:12:59:23 – 00:13:31:10
It doesn't feel good to do that anymore. So I've stopped. Well, I could for my that's like that is an impressive fucking effort and fair play to you. I've been on the, to, to a lesser extent, the the smoking and no vaping. You gave them. Yeah. If I might find there. It's like I said, I to try and see the other day there, there are just times where I like habitually would the day's done.

00:13:31:10 – 00:13:58:15
It's nine half nine. The kids are upstairs. I'm sitting downstairs and, got the telly on in the background on my phone, puffing away on my vape. Yeah. And I can't do that now, or I don't do that. How? That's fine. Yeah, fine. It's the only time that I'm like, oh, I could, I could do with a vape now, but then I haven't got to that real kind of, that clunky bit.

00:13:58:20 – 00:14:13:17
But you know, where something sometimes it just festers in your mind and it's like, all I can do is think about that, and I'll just fucking want to do it. I need to scratch that itch. And then after you've done it, you know, why did I do it? You're back vaping again. You're back smoking again. Like the other day.

00:14:13:17 – 00:14:46:09
It was like, maybe it's eight in the morning. I was out on a morning walk. Someone walked past me and they were smoking a cigarette. I smell it. And I said, oh my God, that smells like it smells delicious. Yeah, I've got a taste for it. It's not. What do you any good, Rick? Just you just reminiscing. You just the nostalgia of that smell is when I was younger and I was on a beach with my mates smoking a Raleigh, and I'm thinking, this is fucking, well, fun just knocking about here.

00:14:46:11 – 00:15:08:10
And it's just now I'm just not just not there anymore. I don't, so I don't have any urgency. Like I said, it's just that only urge to smoke a lot in the last two to smoke unless I've had a drink. I haven't thought about cigarettes once in 17 days. Fuck. You know we're done. It ain't no single England to smoke a cigarette at all.

00:15:08:12 – 00:15:34:02
That is. That's crazy. That doesn't make any sense. Because it's the most addictive thing on Earth, right? It's the nicotine. Yeah. I definitely had urges to drink, but not not cigarette. And I was smoking every day because it. Because, you know, if you're drinking, you're smoking. So yeah that's that I mean that's a, that's a monumental effort. It's a ban track.

00:15:34:04 – 00:15:56:18
Oh. Drink when I smoke I only smoke when I drink did it and I overthink it. It's wicked. It's, It's good. Yeah, I like it. Like. Yeah. No, I think like, I think like the song, but I don't know who the fuck it is. It is, Nimi. No, I only smoke when I drink. Oh.

00:15:56:20 – 00:16:17:24
Began to play a little bit. Hopefully so. Yeah. Do you know what? Actually, last time you've played quite the, some tracks during the pod, it gets uploaded automatically related to YouTube music. And then I get a strike against that. I've got coffee right about, you know. Hold on. Let me off. To what? Why you are playing it.

00:16:18:04 – 00:16:31:23
So you get to get it right now. Yeah, well, it doesn't make me a striker. I just think the money's like. Yeah. And, the exercise nobody is signing up for.

00:16:32:00 – 00:16:36:04
I'm. I'm smoking, I think.

00:16:36:06 – 00:17:06:03
And I only drink when I think I, only smoke without breathing, and I only drink when I own the thing. I smoke when I think. Doing watch and, mate apple, I fuck it. I hate, YouTube music. Anyways. Yeah, I don't care. I don't care about it being, like, having the strike or whatever. It's fine. Scumbags, all the money they got and what, you know, what they do people overall.

00:17:06:03 – 00:17:26:01
So if you listen to this right and you go whine on YouTube music, it's because YouTube music doesn't support creators. They want you to create a platform on YouTube and put all your content on there, but they don't monetize it properly for you, right? We can't and Ricky can't make a living out of this. If we existed only on YouTube music, you just wouldn't make any money.

00:17:26:03 – 00:17:57:00
Yeah, you get paid off views and listens, whereas and they strip yards away, you know, they're assholes. Upset assholes. Anyway. Yeah. Agreed. What? I'm going to put out a call here. If you are a new listener or you've always listened, can you please check that you are, automatic downloading the pod. Now, if you go into Spotify or Apple and you search lots anonymous, you will see a cog.

00:17:57:02 – 00:18:27:02
If you click on the cog, it will give you the option to automatically download the pod. Now this does us, a lot of good. So can you please do that? And that just means every Monday and Thursday when the pods come out, they will be automatically downloaded to your phone. So when you go on a dog walk, a fly, a drive wherever, you will always have something to listen to, even if you haven't got signal to play off Spotify or Apple.

00:18:27:06 – 00:18:45:23
So that would be amazing if you could do that for us. Now we are going to jump into today's topic, which is bullying. Now, this is, an interesting topic. And.

00:18:46:00 – 00:19:13:21
It's not like I when I first wrote this down, I was like, I think you suggested it. And I was like, right, okay, what are we going to talk about? And then I started getting all these, like flashbacks of bullying incidences. Not by me. Oh, sorry. By me. To other people. You were bullied. Usability. I was the bully.

00:19:13:23 – 00:19:32:16
What would you consider to be bullying back then? So this is a good. That is a good bloody good segway. So what? What would you consider is, what's the difference between being a bully and teasing?

00:19:32:18 – 00:19:57:11
I would say bullies. Much more significant. It depends on the person being receiving the bullying or the teasing. Right? How they interpret it. When I growing up where we were in the 80s, we did that was teasing was standard and teasing throughout my brain. You know, being brought up in a household full of, you know, brothers and stepbrothers teasing was just an everyday practice, really.

00:19:57:13 – 00:20:30:05
Bullying, I would suggest, is something were actually someone emotionally or physically impacted in a way that affects them outside of the media act. Yeah, I know my my thought about it was teasing is more playful. It's more, bit funny. And I know you're one than the other person. Not. But it is mainly playful where bullying is like this systematic kind of physical and mental torture that you're putting on to someone.

00:20:30:07 – 00:20:53:16
Now, when I was younger and thinking back to bullying, it wasn't the fact that if someone said to me, Rick, was you a bully at school, I'd say, no, absolutely not. Look at me. I'm like five foot seven of Asian heritage. All I am like, not top of the food chain, believe you me. And I would say no.

00:20:53:20 – 00:21:17:23
And if you ask anyone, they would say exactly the same thing that I wasn't a bully at school. It's just like they're a class clown. But then as I started to kind of sit there and think for a while and maybe not bullying, maybe teasing, I wouldn't really know what category to put it in. I guess you could probably say bullying.

00:21:18:00 – 00:21:48:10
Now when I was younger and I would have been in maybe year six or year seven middle school, and there was we were learning French. And when you were answering the school register, you would have to say whether you are bringing in sandwiches or whether you are having a school meal, but you'd have to say in French. And that was the reason why, that's part of the reason of learning French.

00:21:48:12 – 00:22:20:17
Now, there was a girl in my class and she she didn't have a stutter. I don't think she had a star, but when it was put on her, she. It was a noticeable stutter. Really bad. And every time the names would be read out in the register you'd get to, it would get further and further, and then it gets her name and she has to answer in French, and she would stutter and it would be like me and my mates would noticeably be cracking up.

00:22:20:19 – 00:22:43:04
Yeah. It's like in that's not what this is. No no no. Yeah. That's, that's, that's it's gone into bullying thinking thinking back to it now. Yeah. And then like after it's been a couple of times you might be like that's, you know, you just like laughing at it. But then when it happens a lot, you're like, that is bullying.

00:22:43:04 – 00:23:06:10
And, you know, I can't remember how how old would have been if I was in year 6 or 7. When, when were you born? 80. And I 80 to 80 to see year six and seven, you would have been ten, ten years. Ten. Yeah. Nine. Ten. Yeah. I'm thinking back to it now, like at that time that when it happened.

00:23:06:12 – 00:23:27:11
Yeah, yeah. When I was 9 or 10, you must have been in year seven. You didn't. You went in French in primary school would you. No no no no no no you 70 was ten. So that means that you don't understand what the fuck's going on at ten. And that's why so much of what happens in secondary school and and is because really, you don't understand consequence and you don't understand the impact of your actions.

00:23:27:11 – 00:23:50:12
Truly you learn, you learn a lot, but you don't fully understand what it is you're doing in the impact. That's why so many bullies, ten years after the fact, come back and go, I'm really sorry I did that to you. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I know I look back now, I'm horrified for that. And but at that time, exactly like you said, I didn't really understand what I was doing.

00:23:50:12 – 00:24:12:07
It was just for me and my mates at the time. It was just funny for us. Do you think about how do you think about her now and how she might have been impacted by that? Oh fuck yeah. Yeah, absolutely. What's her name? Maybe you should find that and apologize. It'd be, I mean, like, I'm not in contact with that, and maybe she's valid, I think.

00:24:12:09 – 00:24:17:10
Do you think that would be weird for me to do?

00:24:17:12 – 00:24:21:01
I think.

00:24:21:03 – 00:24:37:24
No, no, I think it'd be weird to reach out and go. I, I remember I did that to you, and I'm really sorry. And she might go, fucking weird. I will even talk about. I haven't thought about that. And I don't remember it. Like, do you remember it? She probably does. This is. The thing is, you think I saw a long time ago.

00:24:37:24 – 00:25:05:23
Don't you remember when you were a victim of bullying or teasing? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, in primary school. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, so she she she would, she would, would remember it, but yeah like I wasn't, it's not like you could never explained. Well my parents well my mum didn't explain to me like the, the, the consequences of bullying.

00:25:06:00 – 00:25:30:05
And it was just obviously don't be horrible to people and it's just an get to fucking school kind of it's, it's that brushed under the carpet really. But yeah, I mean that is one of the times that I look back and I was like, fucking oh man. But I wish someone had said something or I had a better understanding about like the impact they could have had.

00:25:30:05 – 00:25:52:15
It probably has had. So that's one of the times that I, I think that my most remorseful. What was that time? That was that was the last one, I'll tell you, that wasn't the last one. That was. But that's the most remorseful you've been about something about like on a bullying. So kind of oh, let me tell you a story, Rick.

00:25:52:17 – 00:26:15:10
Yeah. Go on that. So I've never I don't remember ever bullying anybody. I don't. And to be honest, in my secondary school, there's no chance that I would be able to bully anybody. Yeah. You know, I wasn't I was very much on the periphery. Might the best case scenario for me in my school would be on the peripheries and not be noticed.

00:26:15:10 – 00:26:36:20
That's it was fucking horrible. And I was thinking about this yesterday talking about like, you know, a lot of alcoholism comes from trauma, apparently. And I don't think you're like the only fucking trauma I had of, you know, my mum and dad split up. Everybody's mum and dad split up. Right. That that's not trauma. Yeah. You know, five years old, and it's not trauma and not thinking.

00:26:36:21 – 00:26:58:04
There's a couple of things that I would I'm not going to talk about. But the school was traumatic for me. It was tough is odd. So the idea of me bullying anyone in my second to secondary school is ridiculous. No one would have accepted it. I was a very sort of slight white boy with long blond hair and do matured quite late.

00:26:58:06 – 00:27:17:04
Yeah. So you remember a lot about that. But there was this go, right? Who for some reason became infatuated with me. Right? This isn't like she was a bit I went out to describe it in the kindest way.

00:27:17:06 – 00:27:44:03
She definitely had some mental health issues. Right. Okay. So she became. And so she attached herself to me. And now, obviously, everyone was aware that she was quite scary. Yeah. And she would follow me home. Oh, sure. Yeah. She would follow me home for weeks and I'd say I'm not interested. I've got a girlfriend and she would, like, scream at me for saying I had a girlfriend.

00:27:44:05 – 00:28:07:12
I haven't really thought about this for years. I've ever told you about it? No, I must have told you about it. But you haven't. You haven't told me. Never told you about that, right? No. So this is all true, right? So. So she would just follow us home. And obviously I was quite scared. Like I was like this she she's going to stab me to death from where my skin and, and, and my mate, who's a fucking dickhead.

00:28:07:14 – 00:28:28:17
And there's a reason why we don't speak it. I didn't I haven't spoken to most of my mates from secondary school since then, but this is the kind of thing he would do. And again, as a kid, as a teenager, you don't truly understand action and consequence. No. He gave her my phone number. What brilliant thing to do.

00:28:28:20 – 00:28:54:01
But what a wonderful thing to do to your mate and to her. So the thing is, like you saying that, I almost definitely would have done that. Yeah, I because it would have been funny for me, but not really understanding the the actions of she. Are you going to tell me that there was a lot of missed calls and a lot of like, so she would call and not speak, and my dad and my parents are picking it up and it became a big thing.

00:28:54:03 – 00:29:11:14
Right. And yeah, and it was that point, I was like, he's not my friend. That's I realized at that point and I as soon as I get the opportunity, I'm never going to speak to you again. So that was the feeling I had with him. Is that, you don't we don't. Mates. We're just in the same class.

00:29:11:16 – 00:29:32:24
We just walk the same way to school. And so when you get to the opportunity, really, like, I don't have to spend. I don't walk that way anymore. I don't I'm not in that class anymore, and I don't. I think the last word I've ever spoke to him was on the last day of school, when I was 15, and I was I know his name, but I don't know anything about him.

00:29:33:03 – 00:29:52:18
And we spent every day of school together through that period. And it was because of things like that. And actually it was that secondary school. Yeah. The, the reason, the reason why I ended up being a target of one of these kids in school is because of him as well, because of this kid who I used to be my teammate.

00:29:52:20 – 00:30:18:19
So, anyway, this girl would follow me home and in the end I said, okay, meet me around the corner. And, you know, I did. Rick. I poured a bottle of orange ade over a red. Oh, okay. Right. Okay. That makes me feel better about my. It should, I should, but I didn't know what. I didn't know what to do.

00:30:18:19 – 00:30:40:03
And in my in my in my 13 or 14 year old brain, I thought if I do something terrible to her, she'll leave me alone. Yeah. She didn't. She carried on. And that's like, that's one of the things I regret. Like as an adult, you're like, that's a fucking horrendous thing to do to someone. Yeah, but the thing is, right.

00:30:40:03 – 00:30:44:12
You like like you're saying you don't.

00:30:44:14 – 00:31:09:24
The thing of action and consequence. Even in your adulthood, people don't mature enough to understand that what they're saying and what they're doing and the lasting effects that it can have, because either they've not had it for them or not explain not how to explain to them that this is a thing that would happen to that person. Do you know what I mean?

00:31:09:24 – 00:31:30:00
Yeah. How badly that would affect them. I don't think there is a minute like whenever I think about that's part of the reason why I've never told you how shameful that is. Yeah. And I guess just in the interest of being open and honest about this conversation about bullying is that it's important to bring it up, that I would never, never see myself doing that.

00:31:30:00 – 00:32:09:03
I'd never like the person that did that, that hate, that boy that did that. I don't even know who he is. Like something I, I know I was in that environment and I know it happened, but it's like someone else did it. That's how that's the only. And I don't know that what goes on in a teenager's brain to be able to compartmentalize that so that you don't think about the impact on the other person, you merely think about what what, what you did and, you know, and it makes me think about what when you bring in a son up and his actions and that he had he's got a 14 year old brain

00:32:09:03 – 00:32:29:24
like I did, and I did that. I did something horrendous. Is that so? It's a you have to remember those things to understand why a 14 year old kid might do that. And I had like guidance. I had morality in terms of I had parents that told me what is right and wrong. My mum was very strong on that about what is right and wrong.

00:32:29:24 – 00:32:47:16
I remember when I was a kid, I was like four years old and I was had the birthday punch that you do you want to bring to your birthday party? And I said, everyone in my class, but this kid called Mark. You know why I said that? She was mixed race, Rick? Because he had black skin. Right? Okay.

00:32:47:16 – 00:33:11:04
As a four year old, I said that. Yeah. And my mum said, that's you cannot do that. You cannot leave someone out because of the color of their skin. Yeah. That's what I fucking can. Don't bring him know. Yeah. I said yeah. I said okay. And he came to the party and we were friends ever since. Mark common name now I was for right.

00:33:11:06 – 00:33:35:06
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the reason why I tell you that is because my mum, my mum was very strong on being kind and open and caring. Yeah. So yeah, when you're bringing a boy up and, you know, wondering about what decisions he made, you know, you remember what you did at the same, same age and understand their brains don't work in the same way, but there's not a minute I don't regret that shit.

00:33:35:08 – 00:34:13:14
Yeah, I think with my one. And obviously you went I it especially mine. That's probably the biggest one that I can think of that I know that I was just like, fucking know what? What on earth was I doing back then? And I just think it's one of those things that it's, proper sticks, sticks with, you know, at the beginning of this, you, you mentioned about, like bullying and, growing up with brothers now and, and teasing, and bullying that we ever bullied to an effect with your brothers, or was it just right in.

00:34:13:14 – 00:34:35:05
No. That was that was about growing as a that like your like. No, I mean I appreciate bullying happens inside families. But through my brothers it was always love. It was always you. I could tell that you can feel it. Right. You can they whatever they did, even if it was rough at times or you know, you you pray for it.

00:34:35:07 – 00:35:03:02
Yeah. It was, it was love. It was coming from a place of love. We loved each other like we do anything for each other. So I was never that was never Billy. And it was just boys, lads I wouldn't have. Yeah. I would never consider that. We've we've got, We've had a voice night that was sent in and they wanted to share their experience with their brother and the relationship that they had.

00:35:03:04 – 00:35:29:15
And you are gonna listen to that now. So I was bullied when I was a kid, but my brother, he used to beat the crap out of me, but I probably deserved it as well. So is it bullying? Yeah, it's definitely bullying. So when I went to secondary school, it's three years older than me. East beat me up, probably because I was gobby little shit.

00:35:29:17 – 00:35:51:22
But not only did he beat me up when all his friends used to see me taking a kicking, they give me a kicking as well. Not even when he wasn't about. They'd come and give me a kicking. So there was like Tyler on Harry Simpson. Oh, come on, give me a kick in.

00:35:51:24 – 00:36:11:18
There was one day when I booted Tyler in the ballocks really fucking hard. And then he tried to take me, said the head teacher. But listen, Lance, I'd love to see him now because that bullying definitely wouldn't happen. But you know what? I think bullying is a good thing.

00:36:11:20 – 00:36:39:15
It's like, it gives you something. I'm not a bad person because I've been bullied. I've got good I'm a good person now, and I think more people need bullying these days. I mean, I think we bully people to be nice, people, to think they're cats. Often they dogs and furries or whatever. And there's too many people that hide behind a computer keyboard when I need a punch in the mouth.

00:36:39:16 – 00:36:42:08

00:36:42:10 – 00:37:03:17
Well, I mean, that sounds that sounds fucking horrible. Well, he was he went free. I mean, that like, I understand brothers play fighting and stuff like that. And sometimes it can get out of hand and you get a bit more aggressive and you're trying to get the best of what? But that poor bastard sound like I had a fucking terrible time.

00:37:03:17 – 00:37:28:08
His brother and his brother's mate says, well, yeah, I think, like, I mean, I don't know the guy, obviously. And, you know, these things are sent in typically anonymously. He didn't want his name, his voice disguised. No, no, no, no. And and perhaps his feelings towards bullying being sort of bringing back bullying, as he said, probably is part of what he went for.

00:37:28:08 – 00:37:50:10
Yeah. I mean, that's a different subject altogether. I'm not sure. I don't think you should ever bring back bully three. Bullying, ultimately is a horrible thing. Yeah. No, luckily, I think that's worse. If you if something like that is happening and it did happen. And don't get me wrong, I had physical fights. Not with my brother, but my sort of stepbrother.

00:37:50:10 – 00:38:04:06
We had we had actual real fights at home, so that wasn't nice. What, like proper throwing hands to try and get each other to hurt? Yeah, 100%. Like several times. So, like we'd have. I can't imagine what that's like.

00:38:04:08 – 00:38:27:00
I just can't move it. I don't know it. It was tough because he was bigger than me, so I didn't win much, but I did. I give it some. So it was like, I don't know what it was really. It was just testing each other. So this, this, these were I, you know, we, you brothers, stepbrothers that came into the house later.

00:38:27:02 – 00:38:36:24
So they were like my so when I was 6 or 7. Right. Okay. And there's a lot of it.

00:38:37:01 – 00:38:59:10
Is, you know, it's like testosterone. Like really like terror territory. Children. Like that. Yeah. Well, it's not that kind of thing, but I was never built that way anyway. I was always like, oh, well, let's see, this is fine. We'll make this work. I didn't, I think, it wasn't, but it was like maybe from the other side.

00:38:59:10 – 00:39:15:19
It was a little bit of that, like there was. But we also got on really, really well. Like we'd play computer together, we play football together. We were in the same football team. We always got on well, but they were just these flashpoints where you'd end up fighting. It wasn't. It wasn't like a Boolean thing, wasn't a Boolean thing.

00:39:15:19 – 00:39:33:20
It was we were friends. I mean, we see each other now. It's all good. It's there's no issue. But there were just these flashpoints as kids, grown up, masculine energy. I guess you're right. Maybe it was testosterone. Well, you just think we were going to fight now. And this is normal.

00:39:33:22 – 00:39:52:11
Having full blown, like getting punched in the face. Like it wasn't like it went like, let's see. That's. Yeah. I mean, that's fucking crazy. I mean, I know there are people listening to this and you've got brothers and that's how you grew up. But I had an older sister, and we didn't punch each other in the face that when the climate, the son and daughter, my step step son.

00:39:52:11 – 00:40:09:15
And so a day of only once, when Will was one dinner up about computer game and she was getting more and more frustrated and she threw a punch every night, but it was nothing. It was just like mucking about really. They've never they've get on so well. So lovely to listen to him talk to each other like they're now 15 and 16.

00:40:09:15 – 00:40:35:02
14 seem to be 15 and 17 and they just the net, the the four of them to having a fight would be shocking. It would be alarming. Whereas our parents didn't even know that this was happening. We weren't like we had a fight. And then we went down and told a dad and a mum we had a fight until the point where one is lost and then you just went about your day, unless you had marks on your face and then you couldn't not tell them.

00:40:35:04 – 00:40:57:00
But that just, just, just in terms of the bullying thing at school because I'm only going to be one. Right. But so the kid that gave that go my phone number. Who is he? What's his name? Tell me after the show. No no no. Well, that show, but it's just, I mean, you know, talking to me, it's 25 years ago.

00:40:57:00 – 00:41:11:01
It's nothing. I don't care if he's wrong. He's wrong. Me and I'm going to fuck. But I don't even think he thought about it. Like you said, about it would be a funny thing to do. And you don't think about it, Paul. You go back home to your comics and you're a Game Boy, and you just tell me.

00:41:11:01 – 00:41:31:09
And an infant happened in the day. You just forget about, right? If you're lucky enough to go back to a safe environment. But this kid. So there was a I won't say the names because you can Google them. And if you Google them, they come up. There were two kids in my school. Oh yeah. There's this one kid was the toughest, and he had a little brother who was a nightmare.

00:41:31:11 – 00:41:52:06
Oh, God. And he was a year below me, or maybe two years below me. And there was a, Do you remember the the New York. No, the London Monarchs. Do you remember they played. Oh, yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. And it's because no one wants to watch NFL in or whatever it is. That was American football.

00:41:52:06 – 00:42:09:16
America, American football. No one in the in the 90s, apart from having wallpaper of American football players on it, were interested in watching American football. All right. Sort of trying to kind of promote that. We had a team called the London Monarchs, and they were talking about going to take the London Monarchs to the NFL, and we're going to be a part of it.

00:42:09:18 – 00:42:25:15
And they they play the game at White Hart Lane, the old White Lane. And in order to get people in the ground, they would just given tickets away in schools. But not everyone in the school could get a ticket. This boy got a ticket. And my friend at the time mugged him and took the ticket off him. And we were with that group.

00:42:25:15 – 00:42:50:03
That boy went and told this kid who's a nightmare, who's in the same two group as him, who had the older brother who absolutely no one fought with in the school. Terrifying guy. Yeah. And so he came to get us. And, you know, both bore the brunt of this because probably I was the easiest target. Like I said, mentioned, like being a white boy in that school was difficult.

00:42:50:05 – 00:43:11:04
I got target and beat up because my friend had taken that ticket. He knew that and didn't have it to get over it, just kept the ticket and was quiet and watched. What happened to me happened to me. And then I then became had an issue with this boy through the next two years, my school life because of that moment.

00:43:11:06 – 00:43:27:09
So I you've never told me that I don't, but we're just talking about bullying now, so it's just come to the fore. And I'm thinking, man, I know what I don't when one would ever bring up. I'm not like, traumatized by it. Don't worry about it. How can you not be my I'm, I'm literally just I'm choking up.

00:43:27:09 – 00:43:48:04
Listen. Really horrible. Yeah. No, it's not, it's nothing, it's nothing. Nothing. It's not, it is. No no no. How can you sit there and be like, oh, fucking. I've had no trauma in my life. Where is this, like drinking to know about that stuff? You've probably buried that so deep down. Or try not to think about, oh, whatever that is.

00:43:48:06 – 00:44:04:06
That's what I'm saying, is that maybe it does impact you on a subconscious level, but an unconscious level. You can't. You just you can't. You just have to get on with it in that school. Right. So there was loads of stuff. I told you two other things about the the guy that playing cricket, inter-house cricket. So we'd have a cricket tournament.

00:44:04:08 – 00:44:26:17
I told you about him, the guy that he was playing wicketkeeper, and he pulled out a knife as I was about to bat. No, I found that out, you know. I say this, so it's all right. Fuck it. I'm sure I've told you this. No you haven't. Right. So we used this thing called inter-house cricket. So you told me about the houses and what their names were, and it was named one of them.

00:44:26:17 – 00:44:43:15
Yeah, we would, we were Richmond Root boys. That's right. Yeah, yeah, it's a different time then, but we had the Bedford bum boys. Yeah. He's, or the Bedford Batty man or something like that. It different time than you know. You don't mean it was. You could say that thing and you weren't getting it canceled. And we were kids.

00:44:43:17 – 00:44:49:15
The, what is the Gloucestershire gay boys? There was,

00:44:49:17 – 00:45:10:24
Was it your, they they I can't remember what they were called anyway. So each so this wasn't in the house? Actually, it was a year by year cricket team. So you if you're a year seven, you played year eight. Yeah nine played year ten. And year 11 got a bias the next round. So I was going out to bat and it's just in a concrete playground.

00:45:11:01 – 00:45:25:14
And this bloke then get out or you're going to get this something along those lines. And he showed me he's not showed me a night for playing cricket for fuck's sake. And I just thought, fuck it, I went to lever it and it just got a fine edge off the top. And he caught it, which it looked like.

00:45:25:14 – 00:45:43:17
I didn't do it on purpose, but he didn't know how to play cricket very well, so he knew that. He thought that I meant to give it a fine edge. You can't seem to find that. It's. If that was my tactic, he was very risky. Yeah. So there was that. Well. And how old was this kid that the knifing.

00:45:43:18 – 00:46:04:12
He had been 11 and I was ten. What the fuck? Yeah. Mad in it. And then another time lost last one in terms of regaling war stories. But if that's what we're doing, the last one. So we had the stairwell that used to take you out to the back of the school, and it was lunchtime and leaving the school and then but leaving, leaving out.

00:46:04:12 – 00:46:19:04
And two lads were just there and they were like, come here. And those are got. And like, it weren't like the old days. We go now, fuck off. He just went like what? They fight and both now and they put an I had a knife up to my throat.

00:46:19:06 – 00:46:34:05
And they asked me for my dinner money and I can't remember what happened. Maybe you spent it or didn't have any money for whatever reason, just that I didn't have any. And they were like, patted my pockets down. And when I didn't have any money, they just let me go. And I just went about, went on to my lesson if I can.

00:46:34:09 – 00:46:57:16
Yeah. It's every time I hear about your skill, I think, and it sounds like I'm like, you know, I promise you, all of this is true. I promise you, I just can't understand how there are schools like that. It's just lawless. I know you like there was that. All schools like that, that are just fucking proper lawless and just mental.

00:46:57:18 – 00:47:18:24
But like you in there, like such a nice person, being in that fucking environment is. It's horrible now. But in hindsight, you wouldn't. But my parents didn't know and I'd never told anyone. We never spoke about it. It wasn't just me. My brother was in there as well. Yeah. You know, and there were loads of days where nothing happened.

00:47:19:01 – 00:47:41:06
You know, there was where you just go into school. There was nothing. It wasn't like it was every day was a trial and tribulation. But there weren't kids that went through that school that didn't fight often. But yeah, I probably had I would said in those five years, probably ten, 15 fights, a proper fights, fucking it. There's loads.

00:47:41:07 – 00:48:05:15
Do you think, how many fights did you ever go? May I add maybe two at secondary school? My possibly three. I know I would say three. The high three was one kid. That is. That is your name is Jermaine. I mean, Jermaine had a beef for some reason. Again, we got on well, but just it would just kick off sometimes.

00:48:05:15 – 00:48:21:06
I had a fight with a kid called Jamil. I'd fight him a good make good Shyam. Now I don't see any more like out of everyone to go to school. He was a person I would still speak to. You say the one. You went college with me. So yeah, we did. He did go to college of. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:21:08 – 00:48:49:01
He shook my head in the door. So we had to fight. I gave him the biggest black. I was, well, proud of myself. Before we wrap this, up, like, like something you just said then about, not taking it home, not letting your parents know that you were being bullied. And the only time that they would ever know that if you had a fight would be a step brother.

00:48:49:01 – 00:49:17:19
Oh, someone at school would be the marks and scars and stuff like that on your face. So it's quite well hidden. And you would never tell anyone about that. Now, in today's life, is it more difficult because you've got online bullying? And it's like, is that I can't, I can't I'm trying to think, how can word this correctly?

00:49:17:21 – 00:49:41:19
But because people have an online presence, but you're able to see them whether they are getting bullied or whether someone's said something under your Instagram post and the same person keep saying these little snippy comments and I'm like, May in the fuck is this case? And I sign it now at least you can see they might not have a profile picture.

00:49:42:00 – 00:50:09:01
Their name might be Kevin 246. But I know that some some person sniffing it. Do you know I mean right. Yeah. Well the online part of online bullying is it is it are we worse off because you have no idea. It's you know, people say keyboard warriors and shit like that. Is it are we in a worse off position because you don't know who is saying it?

00:50:09:03 – 00:50:48:18
Or is it just the fact that some fucking knob is saying something about you online? And because there is no, real life, real time consequence of it, it's it doesn't really exist. You don't make when bullies and these online as well. We like when you're talking about people tweeting us directly or. Yeah I mean it it might not just I mean I'll just use us as an example, but like, you know, when you see, really sad cases and you're reading about and it's like they, they were targeted from online bullying or a WhatsApp group was created with this person and their classmates and they fucking.

00:50:48:18 – 00:51:17:00
Yeah, I worry, I worry about it because it's out. It's a different type. And then we I mean, there be other podcasts that are much better than us that talking about online bullying. God, there's loads of resources out there. But I do worry about, you know, my two kids and you worry about your two kids, about what they're seeing and what people are saying to them, because if they're going to do that to their face and in person, as somebody used to operate and people still do, they're much more likely to do it when they're behind a screen, when they don't think about the consequences.

00:51:17:04 – 00:51:41:05
The minute they put the foot down, they forget. The minute they put the phone down, they put forget what they've said. I think that happens on Twitter, you know, and with us as well is that sometimes I've stopped me. I've been called horrendous stuff on like things that most people wouldn't even dream of saying in real life. And, I don't know if you've ever read that, but obviously I caught it a little bit because it usually comes from Arsenal phone, so there's a reason for it.

00:51:41:05 – 00:52:03:06
It's not like they've just come out the blue and just gone. But yeah, on the it's a different sort of bullpup. But as a, as a, you know, someone who's in the mid 40s or moving towards it, kind of learn to sort of understand what it is and not let it affect you. It doesn't affect me. It worries my mum out of anybody.

00:52:03:08 – 00:52:34:12
Yeah I know, yeah. Okay. I get that I did get that. And what about the other side of it? You know, I think we have. What's it, me and you that was discussing it. I can't remember if it me and you. But anyway, there is some, posts by a couple of comedians who have a podcast, and they share a video clip of someone innocently talking about their day, like the milk that they're buying and why almond milk is really good for you.

00:52:34:12 – 00:52:55:11
And we don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, exactly. What's the guy's name? Tom Segura. And he's about to say it. Very good, very good. Yeah. That's it. And that it's an innocent person that's just going about their day and just saying. I've seen lots of content creators. I want to be like them. I see this person.

00:52:55:13 – 00:53:24:16
I, my friend, post Instagram stories. I want to do what they're doing and they post it, but then they go viral and then they go super viral. And the comments are all fucking just taking out their worst parts, and they're just assassinating their character. Like with Instagram specifically, is it? I think oh yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Upload it to Instagram.

00:53:24:16 – 00:53:44:16
You need you know, you need to know that's what will happen if it goes viral. Yeah. Yeah. And it's horrendous. But it's also almost like it's so stupid and so aggressive. It's almost like it doesn't that because it doesn't come from a place of genuine hatred? These people are just in there. It's almost a meme in itself. And it the Instagram comments.

00:53:44:18 – 00:54:20:00
Yeah it is. And but and I've seen it on TikTok as well. Like people go fucking like really like horrible on TikTok. Yeah. But Instagram is more you know, obviously you're, you're getting taunting too, but there is, there's none of that aggressive, like, malice type of, like words being used because the community. No. So the community would it would just take away those comments, see what Matt saying.

00:54:20:00 – 00:54:39:21
But on Tik Tok it seems a lot more it doesn't seem like there's any restrictions, like you could say on Tik Tok. Oh, that fucking hat is ridiculous. I hope you get murdered for wearing that. And it would stay on there. But if you said that on Instagram, you say the word murder or like a type of those type of keywords that are needed to give it a like they've said that and it would be struck off.

00:54:39:21 – 00:55:10:15
I thought, I thought Instagram was more liberal lenient than that. This meant, no, I, am, Someone before Christmas left a comment on one of the lad's posts. Yeah. And, it was from a from, from a mate's wife, actually. Oh, and she was talking, just talking about Christmas and getting stuff done. I, I said, I bet you've wrapped all your presents, you bitch, because she's super organized.

00:55:10:15 – 00:55:27:07
Yeah, yeah. And I mean, she would have the fucking comment. And the account got struck and I was like, it was a joke. Like I know the person because I called them a bitch. I mean, you had to appeal. Yeah, to pay for it. And they still said, no, we're taking away that comment. You call someone a bitch.

00:55:27:07 – 00:55:58:08
Yeah. I say, you fucking having a laugh. Maybe you're having a laugh. Yeah. Matt. Right. We are going to go into dilemmas and something only you know. But first of all the topic for next week is bad injuries. What's the worst injury you've ever had? Where were you? How did it happen? Have you got any strange injuries? Any horrible rehabilitation story?

00:55:58:08 – 00:56:19:07
It's like you've done something. A bad spinal one, and you're out for, like, a year and a half. How the fuck did you get through it? And what did you do? If you've got anything that you would like to share with us? From bad injuries, lads, anon pod at gmail.com and we will read them out. Now, the dilemmas that we've got.

00:56:19:07 – 00:56:43:07
Well, the dilemma is what's love got to do with it? And something only you know is an almighty tug. Were you going to say something about bad injuries there went yes. No. I did a podcast called No Holds Barred. And in that I interviewed John Bass's wife, Ray. Yeah. And she was born with a extreme curvature in the spine.

00:56:43:08 – 00:57:00:17
It was almost did a free for free 60. I think he's I don't want to label it as something incorrect, but I feel like it's called spinal bifida. I might get it. Yeah. I don't know that that's what she had is what I'm saying. Sorry. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

00:57:00:19 – 00:57:21:10
So it was it's a fascinating, like, terms. That's one of the ones. She got an infection in a back, and she was. She had to spend a lot of time with a, with an open wound which had to be drained. It's a crazy, crazy story. And insane. I listen to all of this. I don't remember that.

00:57:21:12 – 00:57:42:07
Okay, okay. No open wound. I'm pretty sure it's a pretty sure it's up, up on there. I'm pretty sure I uploaded it. It was a while back, though. It's all about lockdown now. Yeah, I'll. I'll have a butcher's. I like, like when you. I've seen, like, open the open wounds, you know, in some, some practices.

00:57:42:07 – 00:58:01:07
It's good to like, add leeches or maggots because it eats away it. Dead skin and all that. Like, it's just like fucking after they has mental. If you imagine doing something like, if they're like, by right, we're going to have to pour a fucking part of maggots that collect. Just let it fall off my. You're all right.

00:58:01:09 – 00:58:25:09
So, Yeah. Broke. It's called a broken back. And, if you type in a broken back, no holds barred interviews, you'll be able to see that slate. What we, we do now, we are going to go into dilemmas. So I'll just. You got an issue for a tissue? You're a bit sad because pain will give you.

00:58:25:11 – 00:58:44:08
Are you aching in your soul, alone in your flat? Please talk to Ricky. Offended? Let that stress off your chest. Well, friend, you deserve to play like you're safe here to get nice warm between Ricky and then.

00:58:44:10 – 00:58:46:19

00:58:46:21 – 00:59:20:14
What's love got to do with it? I believe in soulmates, but I do not seek them out. It comes when it comes. I just get it on a t shirt where I'm going. My wife for the come. I've been I've been in several relationships with people before. All very amicable and nothing out of the ordinary. I can honestly say some of these people, though, head over heels in love with me, but the feeling was never mutual.

00:59:20:16 – 00:59:46:12
Relationships always deteriorate because I felt they deserve so much more and I couldn't give it to them. It always feels like something is missing a certain spark or some mild annoyance snowballs out of control, where I become irritated and can never get over that aspect of their character. I guess what I'm saying is, do I settle for the next relationship?

00:59:46:12 – 01:00:11:18
That's 70% fine. Get married, have kids, be normal. I've never met anyone who's giving me the feelings. I'm not even sure I have those deep feelings. I'm feeling lost, lads. Is there someone for me? Yeah. Just keep going. You just haven't found the right one. And you got to be open minded. You got to be like you remember?

01:00:11:18 – 01:00:23:17
Like when you meet someone. I don't know if it happens with how. I don't know if this is true. People think this is perfect, and everything in this relationship's got to be perfect, and.

01:00:23:19 – 01:00:38:07
I just think that, yeah, there is there will be someone who's absolutely now on the right one for you, and you just don't know until you've met her and you might meet a later in life. You might not. It just. Yeah. As and when that happens, just go with it. Yeah. Oh yeah. Sorry. Are you going to say so.

01:00:38:08 – 01:01:20:11
Is there a is there a preconceived idea about what the spark is or that the soulmate thing is, or does it build. You don't necessarily have it instantly. No, I mean, like that is a great point because I like if you were to read romantic novels, if you were to watch Netflix, if you were to, you know what you believe is love and what you feel like you've seen on TV as a see, you know, when a couple are falling madly in love with each other.

01:01:20:13 – 01:01:45:10
And that first part of a relationship where you can't wait to see them, where you're spending every day, every minute you're in each other's pockets is fucking mental. You're shagging all the time. All these things, and you, like, you get with a girl or a guy and you're like, I'm not. I feel that like I'm not really. And it's not feeling any of that stuff.

01:01:45:10 – 01:02:12:19
And so if you're comparing yourself to that, to what you view is, I don't know if it's ever going to live up to that. But there will be what I would say is what you probably see on TV and what's like dramatized of Falling Head over Heels in Love, that the parallels of what happens in real life probably isn't going to be like that.

01:02:12:21 – 01:02:38:07
But it will. You'll know you'll get those feelings when you can't wait to see someone, or they give you butterflies when you see them, or it's first thing in the morning and you're with them, they're asleep. They got sleep in their eyes. You can smell that morning breath. They've got no makeup on or whatever. And you're still like, yeah, I'm I'm fucking all in here.

01:02:38:09 – 01:02:52:00
That's when you kind of know about those different things. And it isn't that material type of what you probably see on the TV I am, I can come.

01:02:52:02 – 01:03:17:20
I think, like I think like if you think about your partner and what would be, how would you react if the news that she'd suddenly passed away y y y y if you just write that, well, then you know, don't you? If you, if you cannot bear the thought of hearing that phone call. Yeah, maybe not in the right.

01:03:17:22 – 01:03:38:08
Because I was just thinking then that. If so, though, by the by, you, Mrs. Pastrana sent us a shame. Oh, she wasn't the one. I think you just need to keep looking. Don't get bogged down. Don't settle as well. But then, like, if you're good looking enough and you've got the charismatic ladies that going to be an issue.

01:03:38:10 – 01:04:01:18
And what age does it say? What age is that? No, no, I didn't meet the love of my life until I was 33. Yeah. I'm not. When you mean that was literally a moment's fleeting in the best of all ten. It was like exactly a glance that we shared in that moment. And that changed my life. If I weren't in that direction, my life would be completely different.

01:04:01:20 – 01:04:22:12
That is that. I mean, it's I think that when you first got with her and your eyes met. Right, and you're in that festival and stuff, and then you spent the next few days of her and got home. The honeymoon period was over because you were no longer bored and you're both doing your jobs. Do you still have those skills?

01:04:22:14 – 01:04:42:04
Yeah, I knew I knew you like I liked her a lot. Yeah. As soon as I saw that, as soon as I saw a sign, she's like, exactly my type. And then. And then, And then obviously, I was still in a relationship, so, an open relationship that was done, right? The relationship was done. We were in an open relationship.

01:04:42:04 – 01:04:59:18
He was too scared to leave each other, basically. Anyway, so I, we just kept texting, texting, texts in, and then I went down to see, and then we would go down and see each other every three weeks, and it is over two weeks. Then it was every weekend, and then eventually it was that. Yeah, this is it.

01:04:59:18 – 01:05:10:24
Nice. Nice. Love that. Right. But also something only you know.

01:05:11:01 – 01:05:18:11
Was something, you know.

01:05:18:13 – 01:05:41:11
I know Mighty Tug. I met this lady in a pub nine years ago. We got on like a house on fire from first sight. She was a beautiful woman, a brunet with curves all in the right places. Just up my street. Back then, what I get back there? That was a young whippersnapper living my best life in the city.

01:05:41:13 – 01:06:02:17
I would take her out to nice bars, comedy clubs and restaurants all the time. After a few weeks of dating, we went back to mine one night, drunk and holed up. I went in for the good stuff, but she slapped my hand away and said I'd have to be patient as she wanted to take it slow. I have a very high sex drive.

01:06:02:19 – 01:06:30:16
I would have been wanking at least twice a day back then, so when she told me I'd have to wait for a few months, getting her off was under serious consideration. But she was gorgeous and they got on so well. I took time to have a think about the decision. A couple of days later I was having a wank, most likely the second of the day when I felt a sudden, sharp pain around the top of my cock.

01:06:30:18 – 01:07:10:12
At first, intermittent pools of blood started weeping from my balance. Oh my lord, I've never been in such pain or been so scared. The blood then started squirting out from my foreskin. Well, I had to squeeze it with a cloth to stop the bleeding. I can't describe the pain. In a blind panic, I went straight to the A&E, which was close to my flat, and they diagnosed it as a torn frenulum, which is a small fold of connective tissue attached to the foreskin to the penis, otherwise known as the band g string.

01:07:10:14 – 01:07:27:04
They were able to stop the bleeding, and once they were happy, I was sent home with painkillers and told to refrain from any sexual activity for at least eight weeks. The doctor told me it was badly torn, so there was a chance not to heal. And, if that was any case, I would need to need the surgery.

01:07:27:06 – 01:07:51:18
I was lucky, as it did eventually heal, but for those eight weeks, thinking about touching my dick was the last thing on my mind, let alone having sex. So I spent the two months being the perfect gentleman, romancing my girl who could, who couldn't believe I was so understanding and patient. I got the okay from the doctor. Two months later, fully healed and cleared, ready for duty.

01:07:51:22 – 01:08:11:10
I took my girl and never romantic date went. To my surprise, she gave me the eyes and we had sex. I've never told a living soul about snapping my pants a string. Nine years later, that girl is now my wife. She gave me two gorgeous girls. Yeah, a great life and I feel like the luckiest man in the world.

01:08:11:10 – 01:08:31:17
And that is something only I know. Fantastic story I've told you about, but I think I haven't told my wife. But then there's stuff at the beginning. The relationship is just like, well, I'll just leave that there and that just live there. The thing is, it's, well, I have a few snap there banjo strings, but it's always been during intercourse.

01:08:31:17 – 01:08:53:22
Yeah. No, not really want to know from fucking vicious. Vicious Rob out. Yeah. Jason, what are you doing? I don't know, I don't know what you could be doing. I would treat yourself nice. I mean, yeah, I know that's that's a proper tug. That is. That is like a tug by. That's fucking right. That's the. Yeah. I don't think I've ever will.

01:08:53:22 – 01:09:22:10
Hopefully. I've never got close to that. A fucking tear me out. But I'm destroying myself. But you know, so the next topic for the next episode is going to be bad injuries. What's the worst injury you've ever had? Where were you? How did it happen? Any strange injuries? Rehabilitation stories where you're on holiday and you had no insurance, so you fucking had to fly home with a broken leg or something like that.

01:09:22:12 – 01:09:32:13
Send in the lads anon pod at gmail.com and we will see you next Monday.

01:09:32:15 – 01:09:56:04
Are the night hazy light band of brothers playing tunes high as quiet midnight waves. Surfing through till daylight breaks. Rhythm. Here's different ways. Love of music out. We prayed with our tongues in cheek. Banzai! We like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Brothers.