#116 | “We Were There” | Sinkholes, Canal Boats & A Strip Club Visit Gone Sideways

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What you got, Rick? Well, have.

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with your save? Hey, guy. Opening it up. Can you hear that? What's that?

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And there it is. There she is. Come on. Out you come. Go!

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That, my friend, is digital fishing scales. Yeah. Digital folding scales. And I thought that might be boring thing on Earth. I didn't realize it was fishing related. Yep. Wait, let me just, Let's get her out. Let's get her out. Here we go. Right. I look like you found handles out. Yeah. And then the hook underneath here, and then you hold.

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Yeah, yeah. Have you caught anything that would even register those scales before? Yeah. Oh, fucking hell yeah. Hell, yeah. But those are, I mean, it can do any, any weights. So there's been lots of times that I've been fishing and I'm like, even though it's not, a huge specimen, it would be a personal best for me in, say, let's say a chub or a rope.

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I have no idea. But now I've got those digital scales. I'm fucking. I'm all right. Sounds. You know, that's the largest fish ever caught in the canal, right? In the UK. Oh, that's a bloody good question. Canal? Why would what breed would you say with the most heaviest fish you could catch on a canal? I'm going to go with catfish was a catfish.

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Right. Okay. How big was this catfish? I'm going to go with.

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62 pounds. 2 pounds? No. Yeah. Much smaller. Smaller, right. 4 pounds. 44. Right. Wow. And in the Grand Union Canal, throughout the Grand Grand Union. I didn't mean to. I didn't realize you, like, kind of, you know, that, like, use a bit Aspergers about canals. Yeah, I, I just find so interesting, I don't know, I find them so interesting.

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Let's have a go on a canal boat for a weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't just me and you to fuck the women off? If they can't get organized, they can't come. I mean, you Canal. Yeah. Mushrooms, mate. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's it. Really? Ricky, would you be taking mushrooms on a canal boat?

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Yeah, if.

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Mate, we could do it. We could do a little, a little video diary or something. Post a little bit. Oh, mate, I would love to. Well, one of our patrons, a he lives on a canal by. Yeah. Isn't he? He's the one, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but. All right, all right. My favorite. My favorite thing you've ever said.

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There's so many things you've said during our friendship. That's right. Yeah, but the favorite one was you going down to meet some bloke off the internet who listens to the podcast on these canal boat? You have you just walking up to the canal boat? Oh, what are you worried about that I it's oh, it's a cross by with the doors.

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Just guessing. Open is going to now we have a crossbow in the chest. Why. Just because he's off the internet? Yeah, yeah. If the night is meet some sketchy. I mean, there's sketchy characters everywhere, but I just. I was just a bit panicked, so that made it so funny. If you if you like, that's your end, your demise and your face down.

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Floating in the canal was about. Yeah. Like an arrow going through your chest. God. So disappointing. I'm gonna say disappointing. Bow. You just say the rope. That's true. Yeah, I think he's had that before. Even he got time to realize what's going on. You just got a fucking feathers sticking out of a stick, you know? What the fuck's that?

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And then you're like, oh, I know, I know what this is. I know this is going gonna happen. Yeah, I knew, I knew this is going to happen. I, I follow, this gentleman on Instagram and like the pictures of aqueducts and the places in the country, the different, locks that he goes for. Oh, it's just so interesting.

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And the different types of bridges. You got modern bridges, old Victorian bridges, different style. Like, it's just. What do you what do you think? Have you ever discussed Cane Hill locks with him? Do you know what? I'm not actually all right. People are listening like 99.9% of the people listening to this who don't know what we're talking about here.

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The Cane Hill locks are the the highest number of consecutive locks on a canal in the world. There's 27. That is insane. It takes you a day to move 100ft. Fucking hell. Hang on a second. You sent me a picture the other day that you're walking down the canal. Yeah. And, there was that cane. Yeah. Know. Looks about five minutes from my house.

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Fucking hell. Did you not know that? So, Yeah. Yeah. So basically that obviously in the canal, it's all flat, and then the bits are not flat. You need a couple of locks to go up the levels. Yeah, I mean, it's I just find it really interesting. And obviously. Yeah. Fishing there I was walking the other day and some geezer.

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Not the canal. Etiquette community. Everyone says hello, good morning, afternoon and stuff, and I just it's just so nice to have that. Oh, crime. And, like, people trying to break into your boats and stuff as well. That's what I worried about. There's a bloke on Instagram who I followed, who he found this old lifeboat in the yard and he bought it.

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Yeah. And he returned it to life. And you watched him working on this lifeboat? He was 21 when he bought it and he's now 24 and he's he's sort of turned into a canal boat. And it's sensational. It's called the orca. Sorry. Oh my God, that sounds amazing. Yeah. He's got it from, got it from, you know, literally derelict done it all up now he's now he's now selling it because I don't know why but he talks about there been a lot of crime on the canal ways.

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Fuck. I did not know that. Yeah. So maybe you can watch it back from the start to finish. It's good. The good old story. I've been following him for three years now. You see him driving around? Yeah. Boy, yeah, boy. I've got a question to ask. Yeah, something happened to me this morning, and I didn't realize it affected me this much, but it has so my missus, she was in a rush this morning.

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She. She has to go out somewhere certain time and when I went into the bathroom to say. What time are you leaving for this place that she's going, I she turned her head as she is brushing her teeth and she said she mouthed to me, I'm leaving at eight. That okay then. And then I was like, is is that my toothbrush?

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Oh, and she said, yeah, I can't, I can't find mine. And I was like, excuse me, you've just grabbed my toothbrush to brush your teeth just because you can't find yours. You know, you haven't got time to wake up. But I was going to call or anything. Well, that I didn't have anything. No, no, there was no loaded night.

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But I was like, what's it got? What are you doing? If surely you could just sit. Where else is a toothbrush going to be? It's going to be somewhere in the bathroom. Just keep searching. But there's two things here. Like watching her brush her teeth with my toothbrush and seeing it happen. It. No, I didn't know it was the the opposite.

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Yeah. Disgusting. Me the opposite. Now, I'm sure she probably has brushed her teeth with my toothbrush and I've not been in the bathroom. And then she called 9 to 10 brush. Yeah, and that's fine. If I don't know about it, I don't care. Just seeing it in action. I mean, look kind of like you've actually. I mean, I don't want to get graphic here, Rick.

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You've got to cut my hair out. Yeah, yeah. What's your what's been one mutter my. That mean. Yeah. Yeah. It kind of lingers. Yeah. That's worse. That's. Yeah. Who came up with that. But it's mint word. Yeah. And it, it's it is a mental word for what it is, isn't it. What is it so long? I don't know, you've probably done worse than that, Rick.

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So why you were. Why are you worried about a little? I'm. I'm with the money. Yeah, right. Okay. If I can't find it, I'm using olives or I'm using the kids and. Look, there's nothing they can do about it, but, like, everyone's teeth rush, they're like, you don't. If I can't find mine, I use all three of them at the same time.

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So, rather. Okay. So, you know, I, you know, I thought you'd be, if you kiss, you miss it. I mean, it's the same thing. All. He doesn't like it. She doesn't like me using a toothbrush. She's all in on your side. Right? Okay. But. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I pay the bills, so do I.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not. And I'm not. Normally if I knew she was doing it and I wasn't in the room, that's fine. But because I saw it happen, I was just a bit weirded out about it, and I just didn't like it. And, yeah, I understand perfectly where my mouth has been and where her mouth has been.

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You know, we're all adults here. Yeah. Stop being a child. Yeah, but I just don't like honest brushing of the tongue, you know that, like brushing the child. Don't do that. Yeah, I know, I know how it works. Yeah, I just one thing I can't get my head around even as an adult. Fucking flossing, I hate it. I hate the idea of it, even making my make him kind, you know, not sweet saliva, but.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got these really thin wire ones now, and I'm just scared of going into my gum. But when I did, when I went to the hygienist about a month ago, she had. She's gone right into the gum. I was like, what? Her. And I was like, fuck, you can go in the gum. I didn't know you were going to gum.

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You like you couldn't. You can put the wire up beneath the gum line without it hurting. Yeah, I have done that. But I have come away with a couple of bleeds on the gum, which is not ideal, but I'd rather that than have you. Probably three days. Yeah. Rotting meat in my teeth, you know. So you floss every day.

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I don't floss every day. That is a fucking mission. It's bullshit. Every day fucking now I should, you know. Do you know there's this myth that Americans have better teeth than the Europe pins in the English because of the sort of pre-loaded, because of the sailing days and scurvy and it. British teeth are bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in terms of overall health, British teeth are much healthier than Americans just because you got veneers and they all look great doesn't make you look or you whiten your teeth.

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Overall health in America so well in every facet of society is worse, I think. I don't know if that's true. I have to say that, but no. Yeah, yeah. Say it. So say it. Yeah. Every face of the American that's going to wind up a couple of your, you know, a couple of our audience. But yeah, it's just like on every level, you've got to say, yeah, metric is worse than brand.

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I thought you just go for teeth there, I didn't know. Yeah, proper sending. I'd like to go to America, but. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and this isn't like I'm not when I'm not getting into, fucking digging at America, but I would just.

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I would, I would assume that because of the, which call it the food, what's the word I'm looking for? Because there's a lot more sugar in there. Yeah. Them drinks and all that. Yeah. Yeah. There's no sugar tax there. So the sugar sitting on your teeth and rotting them. I would assume that that teeth is probably in overall better.

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I've sorry. Worse condition. But there is always this thing, you know, we see, like cartoons of, I don't know, Prince Charles where and his teeth are all fucking all over the gaff. And there's a lot of that stereotype of British teeth sticking out everywhere, but, actually, All right, I think what I said was not true.

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Oh, no. Especially because ChatGPT always agrees with you in this instance. That said, studies often show Americans visit dentists more regularly than Europe's. Europeans, partly because of the insurance system's workplace benefits and cultural emphasis. However, rates of cavities tooth decay are broadly similar across Western Europe and the US. Some European countries, like the Nordic nations and the Netherlands, have better average dental health outcomes than the US.

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Cosmetic. Cosmetic dentistry is much more common in the US, which fuels the stereotype that Americans have better teeth. But everyone has teeth, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, knowledge in here. I'll tell you one thing more before we play the jingle. Yeah. Going. I can see that sinkhole toilet, mate. Yeah. They, Oh, stuff like that.

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I love why it's. I mean, wow. Yeah. How long has it been festering under there? Yeah, but when you saw it collapse, though, did you see there was a pipe that was just spilling water? Yeah. Well, so maybe they also get people out of a car that was halfway down the hole. Or was that because we don't know what it.

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I saw what they called they had, like, I don't know if it was I, but it looked like there was a car that was wedged in the hole at the bottom and they'd had, like, ropes gone down and they people saved them. But it was this bit where it was like jolted and it didn't look real. So I was like, oh, I but I didn't know it was real.

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This is what the fucking world is, was done. I adventures done. The, I did see or read that, a car had been swallowed up in the sinkhole, but also when I watched the video, there's a car which is just on the edge, and I was like, come on, full flow. Oh, yeah, it does for that.

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Good, good. I mean, they're not silly enough to not let they got out there. So they, they would have, rescuers cheat death. Now by my now biting moment, rescuers cheat death as they are lifted out of 160ft sinkhole seconds before tons of rubble comes crashing down. Fuck, that was mad. Yeah. How did that get there like that in the car going down the sinkhole.

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And that's what you be thinking? Where are we going? Yeah. What's at the bottom of this fucking. Oh, man. And the people just sitting around the edge like, well, get the fuck out of them right now. I know, I know the people that were filming right? There's one guy I think he's like, he gets his moped and he's like, I'm off.

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I'm. I'm not having any pieces. There are other people that are just getting closer and closer. Just have a look then right at the end of the video, it just all slides in and I'm like, okay, where would you be? Would you be having a butcher's or would you be off? I'd be off, I wouldn't know, there would be no morbid curiosity from me.

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Oh, I'll be far away from that fucker as possible. I know what I'm like. And I probably would be having a little bitches, but I bet from from safety of not I would. I'd probably be right over the edge. Just don't think. Not thinking about it. Getting my phone out, trying to film. Yeah, yeah, I should do that.

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I mean, that was a good one.

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The night lazy. Like, I know brothers play in chilling ties quite midnight waves surfing through till daylight breaks with them. Hit us different ways. Love the music that we played with our tongue in cheek man. As I we like to speak. And yeah, times change. But no matter what the bond remains. Promise.

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Hello and welcome to Lads anonymous.

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It's episode 116. I'm Ricky. Yeah he's Flav two best mates. One main topic. Yeah, yeah. Your life dilemmas and confessions hour for each or something. Any and everything remains anonymous. Know quite well know and much more. More. Good idea mate. You're right. Yeah. Good. Yes. Good. Middling. Hey, today it's time for. It's Friday, so it's Friday, then Saturday.

00:17:31:17 – 00:17:56:15
Sunday what? No, because Friday for me isn't the same as Friday for everybody else, is it? No. I'm working Friday. Working Saturday? Are you working Saturday after the game? I've got a record, haven't I? And then obviously Podcast Sunday. Then we've got what we got Monday. Some more podcasting. Tuesday. Podcasting. Wednesday we'll be doing some more podcasting.

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And then Thursday I've got a couple of podcasts Fridays today. So a week from now, two podcasts. Yeah, sometimes three podcasts. So yeah. Podcast basically every day. And it reminds me of that geezer. He's, in a weight training fish with rice cake. More fish. Fish and rice catch. It's like fish and rice cake all day. Yeah.

00:18:19:18 – 00:18:50:21
Do you know what the. Actually, before I go into that, the. I thought I'd mention this for you, but the fantasy Premier League patron one. Do you know who's top pro be the pick? Warrior trophy is the name Nick Hekima. What? Nick. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's, I think. No, he's a bit of a dark horse than I played there.

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Yeah I know okay. Absolute slug. Yeah I know, and then, just after that as well. Harshest you know it's James. Well done mate. And troop is Josh do you know what we're talking about today? We are talking about we are talking about the Tourette's condition. I'll be I think about that's Rick. Do you read it? Yeah. As in how do you mean?

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Well, I've got is that is genuinely probably the biggest yawn I've ever seen. That's one of my annoying. That's one of my tics. So people were saying, I've listened to someone say, because obviously I've just mentioned all the podcasts I do. And people say, like, I literally feel like I'm living with Flav because of how much I listen to his podcast.

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That's what I said. But yawning is becoming a distraction. Oh, I cannot. Button the word yawning without yawning. If I say someone else, you on? Oh you're on. It doesn't matter whether I'm tired or not. And I've been looking into this and it's not just the common thing though. The income. Yeah. If if someone you and you automatically yawn.

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Yeah. It's like if I'm on a, in a phone call with someone, I'll start yawning. Even I'm not tired. Mrs.. Like, you got to stop doing X. It's rude. And that's it's like involuntary. I cannot I can't do it back here now. It's kind of again kind of gagging. I cannot not do it and I didn't.

00:20:25:15 – 00:20:47:16
And I've been looking into this. Right. And I'm thinking I've got Tourette's because I'm not just doing that. I'm constantly touching my face, touching my chest like this all the time. I'm not well. I'm doing it until we start recording myself. And this I'm doing this all the time and that. Yeah, all the time. People used to think I had a, like, a cocaine habit, right?

00:20:47:16 – 00:21:05:20
And, I mean, I don't know if it was a habit, but there was there was a time where I was ingesting a fair bit, but the this, this sort of facial tics and stuff, I've definitely got. You've known about the facial tics for years, though. Oh no. So that's why it started. I'm coughing in as well as a part of it as well, but I do.

00:21:06:01 – 00:21:31:20
I have a smoker's cough when I smoke, I cough and I've been smoking a lot recently because you've been stressed, but my coughing generally that can be a tick as well. This is interesting you know. Yeah. So and sometimes I shout at random words but not often. But do not the sandwich clip. Yes. There you go. I will often go back and it's had an 8000 views.

00:21:31:21 – 00:21:53:03
8000 views on YouTube. It's not enough. It really isn't enough. This is one of the funniest clips I've ever seen. And I'll just go back and have a little watch of. It's so fucking funny. Say like what? Say you've got ADHD, Tourette's. I don't think I've got ADHD. Well, dyspraxia. Well, my message says I'm this Brexit. Yeah, yeah.

00:21:53:03 – 00:22:12:09
Which means like you're clumsy, you bump into things or you drop things. I do that right. Yeah. Yeah. So that could be true. She's convinced she finds it very funny. And it shouldn't be funny. That's an element. That's why I could probably get benefits for that. You might? Yeah. You might be able to get a blue badge or something.

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She's got. Oh, it's quite difficult to get blue badges if you've got like, all of these threats to it. I don't actually I got to wake up one I think. Oh you didn't see that smile. Unfortunately, that's the one that's nice enough to organize this. Very good. But you're in it says yes in the context of neurodivergent individuals, yawning can serve as a form of stimming or self-regulatory behavior to manage stress or sensory overload.

00:22:40:12 – 00:23:09:07
Oh, wow. Yeah, he's gone again. Nobody's talking about it. We're talking about it. Right. Okay, okay. We'll all be talking about it's the topic for today is the. It's ever I was there or we was there moments in your life that you like. It could have been individual for your own town, or it could have been a game or a football game.

00:23:09:07 – 00:23:44:03
I've got a couple ego Laughs. Here it goes. Oh shoot. It's me. One right okay. Yeah. Plug 2000 and 102 Prague two Prague Czech. Yeah one when everyone went nowhere. Yeah yeah there was lots. He went everyone Pro two yeah yeah yeah. Ross yeah yeah yeah yeah. So, strip joint then. Yeah, yeah. Room with bed. Yeah. Benches along the side of the bed.

00:23:44:05 – 00:24:08:24
Although if you don't use earache AC, you might have it. I was there anyway. That's the point right. So yeah we're not you're not talking benches as in like park benches. We're talking about benches in the sports hall with the flappy end. Those benches. Right. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Two strippers on the bed, ten men on the benches.

00:24:09:01 – 00:24:38:06
And you, they ask anyone brave one of the. I won't go into details, but one party of that group went. Yes, I'm brave. So they entice him onto the bed and he thinks, oh, this is going to be good. They're going to jiggle their knockers in my face or whatever. They sort of started with that. But then ponies pulling his trousers down, okay.

00:24:38:06 – 00:25:13:20
And then held his feet up like a newborn baby let up in the air and stuff to do it, like right up your bum. Oh well. Oh, up. I can't get words out. I probably have that. Is that, Jesus Christ, boy, I was not there for that one. That's a good price. Well, good as well. Yeah we I play Cheering Cheering because what could have been what could have been quite a CD environment.

00:25:13:20 – 00:25:31:16
Ten men two women. Yeah. It's not a good ratio. No no terrible ratio. But it was also a bit of a laugh. It wasn't like a see the energy. Yeah. And the fact that it wasn't there wasn't any kind of there wasn't like a sexual show going on. It was just a trick to shove a dildo up a man's ass.

00:25:31:18 – 00:25:53:01
Everyone was. Everyone just thought right at that. Yeah. All right. I saw I was there for that. I mean, that is. Do you not know that story? I had never heard that story in my entire life. It's even funnier when, you know, it was too loud. Like.

00:25:53:03 – 00:26:19:04
I can get in my mind now. I've got who I, who, who. The brave man. The, do the. Don't say the letter, but do it for patrons. They can watch this. Right? Okay. Say, do the, do the thing. Like that was. That was obvious. It wasn't. No no no no no it wasn't, it wasn't. Geez, Louise.

00:26:19:06 – 00:26:46:03
Fucking. Oh, I'm stumped to that. What? I can't it can't be. How am I going to say this? No, no, of course not. Now. Yeah. Okay. Oh, hang on. What's that? Okay. Watch slow. That one, and then that at the top. Can you have it without that bit at the top? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Does him.

00:26:46:04 – 00:26:50:15
Yeah.

00:26:50:17 – 00:27:10:04
Yeah. Anyway, I like that. Go. I was there for that. That was good. Yeah. That is squirming like a, you know, like a, like it been, you know, it was the, a magnifying glass. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And used to burn ants. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't do that. No, I definitely did. Yeah. He was squirming.

00:27:10:06 – 00:27:28:15
How how far did it go in? Was it just like, the tape or just, you know, around the area, or was it like a full. I think he was probably. He got into defense mode quite quickly. Yeah, I think it went and I can't there must have been more going on than that. But that's all my brain allows me to remember from.

00:27:28:15 – 00:28:01:12
It was kind of just gone in just for that. There must have been other stuff, going on. But yeah, that's a that's all. That's all I can remember. It. I mean, that is I don't have anything like that, but I do in the same kind of, arena. I haven't thought about this until I started writing this, and I when I it must have been when I was 15, maybe 14, probably 15.

00:28:01:14 – 00:28:35:16
And it was all around the time of when you young, you got your group of mates, you got the group of girls it hang around with. Everyone is kind of experimenting and going out with each other and this, that and the other. And my mate was going out of another lady and it was kind of a. No, I it was, it was in agreement that on this day that they were going to meet and they were going to, you know, lose their the plates together.

00:28:35:18 – 00:28:56:09
Yeah. Yeah. And it happened in, behind a park. So, you know, there's a wooded area by a park and we kind of knew this is going to happen to me and a few mates in the park. We. Yeah, it was like it was. It was behind the park. It was off the beaten track, not reared. I mean, the trees were covered, but there wasn't really cover.

00:28:56:09 – 00:29:18:01
And it's quite close to, a walking path as well. So me and my mates knew this is going to happen. We hung back, saw them go off in the distance, and then we went down the path and then got off the path so they wouldn't hear our footsteps. And we were the other side of the path and we could see them and we're like, shit, are they actually going to do it?

00:29:18:01 – 00:29:39:01
Because we haven't done it by this point? So we didn't know what was going on. We're like, and it is actually good. How old are you guys? I think we were like 15 somewhere around 14 or 15. Yeah. And then, we see them lying down and it's this happening, this game on. And by that time, right, we were lying down on the floor.

00:29:39:04 – 00:29:58:08
You were lying. There was. Yeah. We were like looking. Yeah, exactly like that. Exactly like that. Like snipers. Then there was a path and then further on from the path and a bit further into the woods, we could say, you know, it wasn't like, you could see everything, you know, the ins and outs and all of that.

00:29:58:08 – 00:30:23:21
It was just, you know, two bodies on top of each other. One wearing Adidas poppers, jogging bottoms and the other, I don't know what they're wearing. But anyway, you know, when you just kind of, like, lying there and, it's going on, you know, the whole darn shooting match is happening. And then we were like, throwing stones because we thought it'd be funny and then spoil the mood.

00:30:23:23 – 00:30:42:17
Yeah, yeah, yeah, like spoil the mood. And then there was that realization, you know, we stuck there and we can't really move and I'm watching my mate. This is Jenny, and it just got a bit weird. Yeah. But it's one of those. It was one of those times. It's like, you know, I was there for that. It was there it was.

00:30:42:17 – 00:31:14:08
I went matey. Yeah, I was there. I was lying in the ground like a sniper watching. Yeah. I, I lost my virginity in to a girl who was, She. We lived in Tottenham. She lived in Tottenham? Yeah. We went round her mate's house and, There were loads of people there. And we ended up going into one of the bedrooms.

00:31:14:10 – 00:31:35:13
Right. And I told her that I'd slept with two different people before her, but I hadn't, I've met. I'd never had my willy inside someone else before. Okay. The start off started off in a bad fit with lies. Yeah, but you just wanted to say the truth, right? You just didn't want to set it to. If you wanted to, to to impress.

00:31:35:15 – 00:31:58:15
Yeah. And the reality is, I lied, and it became evident that I lied very quickly, because, well, obviously I didn't last very long. It wasn't helped by the fact that people were banging on the doors and banging on the window. So there was like a room that kind of it was had a hallway next to it, and a kitchen that went down.

00:31:58:15 – 00:32:26:14
You could go out the kitchen, you can go up the alleyway, which the window to the bedroom watched out on. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So having sex for the first time and people just banging and making animal noises and shit like that through the, the window, these people I barely knew as well. Good. The same. The same girl took me to a trap house in Tottenham once, which was just up where a weed house, basically where people would come and buy weed and there was no windows.

00:32:26:14 – 00:32:51:03
There were all bricked up from the inside, and there was a gate that you had to get through for an intercom. And when you got in there, all the windows, like I said, were bricked up and there was no real light other than like light bulbs. And there was a geezer who ran this house, and there were two other guys who were very scary looking.

00:32:51:05 – 00:33:12:12
Oh, God. And they, there was a literally a shutter on the side of the building, a small one, which is like the size of, like a 94 shot, like A4 paper. And I people go like an eight for or whatever. You'd open the shot, they would exchange and then fuck off out and obviously all the lock. Yeah it was mate.

00:33:12:12 – 00:33:31:09
I never told you to see what I was about. I assume about 17, 18. Oh, God, that sounds great. I know it's in Tottenham. Is in Tottenham. Yeah. And, and I rang her because I didn't touch her wrong. It's, I remember when we went to that and there was and she went yeah, yeah. And I went that was, that was fucking terrible idea.

00:33:31:11 – 00:33:48:09
And obviously the passing spliffs around and you know what I'm like what weed. I'm terrible with it. Yeah. I had to smoke. Yeah. It's funny, I didn't I so imagine how bad I am now. What was it like then. Mate. Yeah, mate. I mean, the scary one. That was one of the ones you should think, shouldn't be here.

00:33:48:10 – 00:34:10:24
This could go badly wrong. Yeah, I did one of these when I was working at. And I'd run out of weed and someone that I was working. We've said I've got a number for er. And they're in those flats opposite. I was a sweet man. So I've got this number, I text them, they said, who is this? And I said, you know, someone's mate.

00:34:10:24 – 00:34:32:06
And they said, what you want. And I said, Henry. And then, I went there and it was like on the sixth floor or something like that. So as I got there, it was all propagated up and I was like, fucking oh, man, this is this feels really horrible, but I really want that weed. So let's do that then.

00:34:32:12 – 00:34:51:14
Yeah. So then I went there and I press the intercom and they let me in. They lock that door and there was another gate and then they open that door. So I was like, you know, sandwich fruit. There was like bars on all the windows and stuff like that was all dark in there. There was no there was literally like a sofa.

00:34:51:16 – 00:35:18:15
No other furniture. There was a dog in there. But, you know, when dogs are training to piss or whatever, one of those mats, and they. Yeah. Yeah. And it was just soaked in place and it stank and there was loads of people in there. And then I was like, oh, I'm just here for some weed. And they were like, you know, asking me questions, trying to see who I was, where I come from, all of that.

00:35:18:20 – 00:35:34:23
I like copper or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And I was like, fuck you, now this is on top, or I just came in for a bit of weed. That was it, man. Like, I just need to get it and get out. And I got the weed. It was terrible weed. It was Thai weed. And it just had loads of seeds in it, and I just, I was just not happy with it.

00:35:35:00 – 00:35:54:22
But anyway. Yeah, I mean, that is I mean, I had a recent one where, I was in Ireland and I got a number there's like this I thought how we got actually some of this like a it's like it was on Instagram or something. No, no, I can't remember what it was, but it's an A number. It was given to us by someone who lived there.

00:35:54:24 – 00:36:28:20
Yeah. And, texted him and said, I'm going to be here at this stage. And they weren't. Yeah. No worries. At this pub. Oh. Excuse me. Okay, Jess, we're at this pub. A beta at this time, and that's fine. And then obviously, the light, because they're not Albanian, right? You know, and the reason why the Albanians, apart from all the violence and shit, cornered the drug market in London is because they are on time and always available.

00:36:28:22 – 00:36:55:02
Good. Actually, my experiences with them really polite. Yeah. I don't ever tell you the story. Like I met this guy. I got the number from when I was in Bethnal Green, and it turns out that these guys, they deliver anywhere in London, no matter where you are, they're always 25 minutes away. So me and, I've got this number, and he got in a car and he asked me my name and I said, That's Gary.

00:36:55:04 – 00:37:22:19
And where are you from? Holloway. It goes cool, what do you want? And I said, I want this. And I didn't use his number again for about eight months. And I was in London Bridge and I think it was like a works out. And I rang him again. I'd text him again. He pulled up and he went, Gary and I went, how the fuck do you remember me?

00:37:22:19 – 00:37:37:16
Like I don't remember you? I didn't realize I called you, And maybe he had. My number is Gary from Holloway, but it was like, oh, no, I do remember you. You ordered this. It was at this place we met in Bethnal Green and I was like, this is insane. You remember too much. This is a little bit scary.

00:37:37:18 – 00:37:57:23
But since then, yeah, he's always been, like, cool. Like a service. Yeah. Where? Wherever you are. Luckily, that's part of my life. That's. Well, in the past now, but, Yeah, it was, it was sensational service. Anyway, in Ireland, different. Very different. They don't have the Albanians to contend with, as far as I could tell.

00:37:58:00 – 00:38:17:02
And so they're very lax in their sexuality and also very rude and also super, super Irish. So I couldn't understand what they were fucking saying. And I was at the meeting and we're here. We're here with my baby little, my little look. Right. But not to really quickly I was like, I don't I'm from England. I don't know what you're saying.

00:38:17:02 – 00:38:33:02
You have to speak more clearly. I got in this car and there were there's two blokes and you're like, I'm going to get a shotgun. We'll get kneecapped. That's what it felt like. Yeah. In and out. Have the money ready. Be on your own like that. It was all right. Oh. So stressful. This is so stressful. I don't even want it.

00:38:33:04 – 00:39:05:03
Yeah, that was a bit, Yeah, I, got be on your own. It's. Oh, yeah. That's that. That's why you do it. Because you want it. Exactly. It's doing the day. You've got to do anything now for us to talk about this part and the I was there, we were the it would be you know, I couldn't mention it without mentioning football and Tottenham reaching the Champions League final.

00:39:05:05 – 00:39:30:14
I was fortunate enough to get myself a ticket by that point, all the flights, because, you know, it was Liverpool and Tottenham. All the flights out of England to Madrid had been taken, and all the flights to other places in Europe where people were trying to connect and get to Madrid had been taken. So it was a very difficult journey to make.

00:39:30:16 – 00:39:56:21
And I remember my dad, he was kind of like, Rick, we've reached the Champions League final. One of our family has to be there. It's kind of like, you know, to the history books when, you know, when I'm been in gone and my kids have had kids and have kids and we all support Tottenham and it's like, oh, we got to the Champions League final.

00:39:56:21 – 00:40:18:14
Yeah, yeah, great great grandad Ricky was there, he was there, he was there. And you have to have your name etched in history to do that. And I felt like, like Indiana Jones. I'd been given this assignment and I had, you know, planes, trains, all of my bills, all the way to Madrid. So that is one of my.

00:40:18:16 – 00:40:56:24
I was there immense. Absolutely wasn't the happiest of occasions. But, you know, in my, in my family's history books and supporting Tottenham as obviously one of the ones that I was there and then the most recent one, the the Europa League final, again, I, I didn't have enough loyalty points to get myself a ticket. And by, you know, way of luck, I suppose that I was able to secure two tickets in the UAE for Bala in the Tottenham end.

00:40:57:01 – 00:41:14:16
And again, I didn't want to book flights and all that lot because I didn't have a ticket. And then by the time I did, all the flights had gone. Everything, every mode of transport to get to be about gone. Yeah, again, another English team. So it's very hard to get out of England to this place to get to Bilbao.

00:41:14:18 – 00:41:44:09
But my father and I, at this time, my dad came with me, when I went to Madrid last time, I was on my own about with a mutual friend, David. Alfie would and went together. But this time, I was there with my old man. And that was. I think it's probably in terms of football and supporting your team, to watch your team win a European trophy on foreign soil and be in the stadium for it.

00:41:44:09 – 00:42:09:14
That is my that's going to be my pinnacle. I was there, I don't think anything now supporting Tottenham going forward. I'd love to think that it's going to be something better for me, but I have that one to I am to to cradle and hold like of. Do you not think about all of the ball like all the traveling, all that you go, oh, I'll be fast.

00:42:09:16 – 00:42:33:22
Yeah, course I do. I make it so why do it? Because, yeah, I have to be there. I don't, I don't feel that need a sense of watching it somewhere and, and I feel like I have to be there, and I still have that. I still have that. I still have that, I'm not. Yeah. I think this is the difference between you, you and I, Ricky.

00:42:33:22 – 00:42:53:06
Is that like. Yeah, it's almost like when we go somewhere, it's like you have to get the most out of everything. Yeah, that's hundred percent true. Yeah. Like you've got to see everything and you've got to do the thing and you have to be there. Yeah, yeah. Whereas I'm like, much more passive. I don't think we do have to see everything.

00:42:53:08 – 00:43:20:24
No, I think we do have to be. Do we have to see really. Do we. I'm sure we have to go to the exhibition. Do we, do we have to see that building? You really want to walk around that corner? The rink? There is a pub just there. I can see it. And as I'm getting older, I'm getting so, so much more sedentary and I want to do loads of stuff, but I also don't want to do anything and I'm really comfortable and happy with it.

00:43:21:01 – 00:43:39:09
Yeah, you know what I mean? I'd love, I'd like to not like like now go to when I was a kid. Go. No, not a day to sit on a lot. It's unloaded literally thousands and travel thousands of miles to do nothing. Yeah. Would have been like hell. Now it's like, is it all inclusive? Perfect, I don't know, I'm sorry.

00:43:39:09 – 00:44:02:10
I just, I, I just, threw up as you slow down, I think. Yeah. Well, I mean, I like. Yeah, I've got a I've got to get a new crop. My lease is up my car for a day, and I'm thinking, I've got a car. It's fast. It's the fastest Cupra Leon. Right. So it's a nippy little Skoda hot hatch.

00:44:02:12 – 00:44:23:06
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's quite nippy. Oh, yes it is. It's it's fast and it goes when it, when you take it, when you go off there's like a turbo in it. And I don't know if that's good. I don't know if this it. Yeah. It's, it's got all that shit. But if I, when I have to replace it with something, I'm going to get some comfortable slow.

00:44:23:08 – 00:44:49:10
I want to slow down Rick. Like drive my missus car. She's got like an X-Trail. Like a Nissan X-Trail. Yeah. It's it's like being on a sofa at home. That's how comfortable the sea is. Oh, fuck. You know, warm seats as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like my, although my, my car is still in the garage and it's, you know, we know the faults of it, but it's really a nice, comfortable SUV style car.

00:44:49:12 – 00:45:14:23
Leather seats, heated seats, computer, diesel, all that lot. Right. So I enjoy driving it, but when I drove my dad's, mini micron micro esque car, it was, you know, basic, very, very basic. There's no digital in there. There's not what he your that's that's called he drove down Brighton of that. Yeah. The Kit Picanto. Yeah.

00:45:15:00 – 00:45:42:16
And I kind of enjoyed that. There was no lights and sounds and signals telling me that I'm doing this or going there or that, you know, you know, it was just a draw it. I was just driving. I was able to relax and drive without stuff beeping at me and shit like that. And I was just like, I quite enjoy this, you know, it was a bit, you know, I wouldn't pay what most cars for overtaking me all the time.

00:45:42:16 – 00:46:09:13
And I'm like trying to push the car to go faster. Yeah, that it was a bit annoying. But you know what? Didn't need it were really in a hurry. Yeah, no, not really in a hurry. Like that. And I man like so I think my next car I would like to I don't mind that it has all the, the pros and all that lot, but, yeah, I kind of, I do know what you mean, but I got the second saying that you want that you want the company that.

00:46:09:14 – 00:46:33:10
Yeah, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want the comfortable car that cost a fucking fortune. That's what I want. But I'm not sure I can have that. Like, I've never, like, this is the first time Rick of my in my life. I've been poor before. I've not had money, but my outgoings were significant. So yeah, I would like when I was in my late 20s, early 30s when I was proper broke.

00:46:33:12 – 00:46:52:23
Yeah. When I was working for that charity on fucking 23 grand a year or something in London and, when I'd get to the end and, you know, there was loads of stuff being spent on stupid stuff like gear and could drink. Yeah, yeah. So we'd run out of money like 14 days before the end of the month and think, how am I going to survive?

00:46:52:24 – 00:47:13:11
I know I will have done this before, but I can't conceivably think about how I'm going to afford to feed myself over the next two weeks. But I just found a way. I don't know what it was, whether it's just eating pasta or whatever it was. Just found a way. But now it's different because there's outgoings everywhere.

00:47:13:13 – 00:47:39:21
Yeah. And like cars. And we got the house and bills and the builder and I'm like, I can't really figure out how I'm going to pay for this shit at the moment. Yeah, I know it's going to be fine. I think it's going to be fine. But I don't really 100%. No, no, no. Like if you do a spreadsheet and you work it out and go, right, these are my outgoings, this is my income, we're fine.

00:47:39:23 – 00:48:11:09
Yeah. I can't do that because I can't tell what the outgoings are because building a house is very vague about how what I say. Yeah. So so so bills come in and you're like oh that's more than I thought. Right. How do I fix this problem? And that's, that's what I've been dealing with for the last because we got quoted for the House all in, it was about 89 grand to do up do up the house.

00:48:11:11 – 00:48:33:09
A burden on me and the missus had been saving for a house for 5 or 6 years. So we have we have an amount of money. And my dad also because he inherited a load of money, he said, when you buy a house, I'm gonna give you this amount of money as well. Yeah. So we had a combined amount of just under around that combined.

00:48:33:11 – 00:48:43:15
Okay. And I was like, okay, well that's what we can do. It. It's nowhere near that. Rick is so much more.

00:48:43:17 – 00:49:01:20
You know, it's so much more money. It's like I thought, this is going to be 89 grand. Because you start doing it and shit turns up in your life. Yeah. It's an 18th century cottage. The walls falling down. You've got to rebuild the wall. What was the angle house? Was you to have a wall of a wall.

00:49:01:22 – 00:49:21:13
And then you, like, you talk to the builder, and and he's giving you ideas and you're like, yeah, we want to do that. We want the fireplace, and we want all this stuff done. And then you actually know this. Yeah. 89ft more. 130, 140. Oh, hell. Oh, that is not a, I'm not starving. I'm not being blown up.

00:49:21:16 – 00:49:49:15
I'm not living in a part of the world where people can only dream of these problems. So, yeah, I have to be grateful of my situation, and I am. Yeah. Although it's quite scary how not to be scared. Even though grateful. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Cause make I mean again like you have got that but then obviously, you know, you the, the kind of like, like you're, the, I was gonna say responsible adult.

00:49:49:15 – 00:50:11:02
That's not the right word that you're. Yeah. You know, a main provider within the house. How I'm looking after kids. You misses all of that stuff. Responds to you running your own business. All of that. And a building project as well. I mean, I can imagine that that is fun. You don't really. You just think about. You just think about.

00:50:11:05 – 00:50:31:14
You don't think about it. You just keep going. Do you know, I think giving you a rough idea when you can. Well, we're going to have it, I notice. So we're going to be there for two months. Probably moving soon. Oh, finished. It's not finished, but. Right. That's that's good. As long as you can get in and you can, you know, make do.

00:50:31:14 – 00:51:03:10
That's fine. That's fine. Before we, finish up, I do want to say one last, I was there, and it's a personal one to me, and it won't really mean anything to anyone, but it will, if you know what I mean. And it was my Mrs. giving birth. That is one of the most. Craziest experiences I've ever had in my life.

00:51:03:12 – 00:51:34:11
It is on a roller coaster for hours, gripping the side of my seat, not knowing what the fuck is going on, watching my the person that you love in insane pain, and trying to obviously give birth. But it's one of those moments that, you know, and I, you know, I'm in there, you know, I'm not. I have to have a little look down the business and see what's going on.

00:51:34:13 – 00:52:09:23
So it's just kind of like, you know, having that entire moment, being in that environment and being so fucking stressed. And I'm not the one bloody giving birth. I just thought that I would give that an honorable mention because when you're there in the midst of what's going on of someone birthing another person, yeah, it was a fucking a, my, my brother Ryan doesn't talk about it in the same way.

00:52:10:00 – 00:52:32:06
Wow. Oh, fuck. So, unfortunately, one of their children and they were free, beautiful, healthy children. But one of them had to be born by C-section because it was the safest thing to do at that time. It wasn't like a pre, it was just the pregnancy went the way it went in that to have a C-section. Yeah.

00:52:32:08 – 00:53:02:17
And they said, do you want to cut the umbilical cord and that Ryan's. Oh yeah, obviously. Yeah. He walks round the, the curtain to cut the umbilical cord. And Jackie, his wife, is open. Her belly is open like the, they have covered the wound. Yeah, yeah. So he's seen everything. Oh, God. So he's like, you know, God wants to literally make us.

00:53:02:19 – 00:53:28:15
Yeah. Although this isn't a very PC joke, but it does make me chuckle because I don't believe it. All right, I'm right. Yeah, but the someone said once, and I don't condone this attitude at all. Right? Okay. Ladies listening. But it is comedy, so maybe that's okay. Yeah, but he said watching your wife give birth is like watching your favorite pub burn down.

00:53:28:17 – 00:53:53:23
Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah, it's a good joke. Well, I mean, it's it's I mean, it's partially true, isn't it? Is it. I don't know, yeah. You know, I've seen who what it I think who coined that little phrase and they obviously didn't make it up to James Corden. He said that joke. Oh really? Yeah. Maybe it isn't a good.

00:53:54:00 – 00:54:20:22
Concert. They did not. Yeah yeah I, I can't I can't yeah I can't they can't do that. But I do want to say we're going to bounce now actually before we do that. So the, the topic was that I was there moments right. I just want to list off a few that we were we were there. But everyone that was listening was almost certainly there too.

00:54:20:24 – 00:54:46:24
But it was a collective. We were there. Now how in ranking this, like how much of these do you think will still be talked about in 20, 30, 40 years time? So the death of Princess Diana. Oh, we we always remember that one way. Yeah. I mean was a that's a big bugger. That one. Yeah. The millennium bug.

00:54:47:01 – 00:55:28:16
Remember when it was like 99 to 2000? Apparently all the cache points we're going to spill in a. Bless you. Spit it out money. Yeah. Computers are going to be reset things. We're going to fall out of the sky then. Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing nothing fucking happened. Obviously that this is a big one. 911 that is that the 911 is probably was I was in a little, shed house in Crouch End Crescent and, we were watching neighbors and it suddenly cut out of a picture of one of the two twin towers, one of them smoking before the second plane hit.

00:55:28:18 – 00:55:52:24
It was like an emergency broadcast. Wow. What do you mean, you're in a shared house? You remember Mick? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was his shit house. Right. Okay. Right. Right? Right. Yeah. I was I was at my first job that I ever had in this warehouse, called dress. And it's one of the most fun jobs I've ever had.

00:55:52:24 – 00:56:11:15
And we heard the news. We all went running into the boardroom and was watching one of the big fuck off TVs and just watching the news. Yeah. And then the second plane hit and everyone was like, fuck, you know, no one did any work that day. Everyone was just talking about it. No one could understand what was going on.

00:56:11:17 – 00:56:38:08
It was madness. Yeah. It's crazy. What else you got? Covid 19. That's going to be spoken about. I know millions of people died, but I did write it. You write it. Not the not the not the the the deaths, not the deaths. Obviously my nan died of it, right? Not right, but okay, so I didn't write that, but obviously I, I, the whole lockdown thing was the most exciting part.

00:56:38:10 – 00:57:06:04
The. So exciting. Yeah, it was interesting and captivating every single day. You were you were you were tapping into the news like waiting for what Boris Johnson was going to say next. Yeah. And I remember being I got a job at, because I wasn't, I was having to work freelance, before I left my job, but boucherie to work on the fighting cock full time, but it wasn't bringing enough money, so I had to get work where I could.

00:57:06:06 – 00:57:42:10
Yeah. And I managed to get this, freelance job doing on on the, Jamie Redknapp and Harry Redknapp show that they were. Yeah I remember yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was doing the football settlement element to the show. So my job was to produce that part of it basically. But we were about four weeks in and Covid started to hit and I, we were watching this website, this bloke created a website and it was just showing you all of the the different infections that were happening around the world and how quickly it was happening.

00:57:42:12 – 00:58:05:19
Yeah. And we went from being from saying, this is fine, everyone just carry on as normal. Yeah, literally about three hours later, everyone pack your laptops up, tell him we're shutting it down. It was mad how quickly that move. Because I was at work in my office. My boss was like, this is pretty serious and weird because I was like a working, an arm's length body of the government.

00:58:05:19 – 00:58:25:06
So we're getting, like, direct messages from the gov. Yeah. And and they were like, you know, it looks like by the end of today, we're all going to go home and we won't be coming back into the office within an hour. It was like lunchtime. We just have to go home. And then it turned again. It was like, everyone just pack your bags.

00:58:25:06 – 00:58:47:17
Now we're all we're all working from home. We, I so I was in London and obviously living in Wiltshire, but because I had this job, I was in London and I'm like, it was like two days before, pack up, go home. Yeah. And I'm thinking I'm going to have to leave because I cannot be stuck in London.

00:58:47:19 – 00:59:05:11
I yeah, if they lock this down, I cannot be stuck in London. I have to go home. So I spoke to Ollie and I'm pretty sure this is going to this is the news is suggesting that a lockdown could happen. Has been spoken about. Not seriously, but it just feels like that's what's going to happen. Yeah. So I was like, I'm getting on a train and going on.

00:59:05:11 – 00:59:30:14
I went home thankfully, and they locked it all down and I was sort, stuck in the countryside like our friend, a fellow, a mutual friend, Lee's. He decided to get a plane to to Ireland was the last place. Yeah, yeah, that's his misses. I was stuck in Crawley, with his mum. That it? Yeah. That's one of my favorite things that no one talks about anymore.

00:59:30:14 – 00:59:53:01
Do you remember eat out to help out? Yeah. Got just going out to all the all the restaurants where you live and everything is half price. Fucking brilliant. It's maddening. It's like, oh, we've got to get the economy back on track and then it's like, let's get everyone get me up again and start eating and drinking. And you're like, well, well, and then I'll know another lockdown.

00:59:53:01 – 01:00:13:01
You like what you kind of feel like. You should know that. You should. Yeah. Like we're punters. We're normal people. We're looking to you to lead here. Surely have the information. We're going to do what you tell us to do, because that's just the nature of, of, of government and society and how it works. People generally listen to those in authority, but it's created another wave of infections.

01:00:13:03 – 01:00:27:13
And you do you remember it? So when we go to the pub, right, you'd have to book your table and you'd be sitting at your table. But then when you went to go to the toilet, you'd have to put your mask on to walk to the toilet, to to come back to your table and stop talking and spitting in everyone's faces.

01:00:27:15 – 01:00:45:14
I, Steve, I remember to remember when it was we were first allowed to go to a pub, and I think you could meet in groups of 20, right? Yeah. And we went in and because obviously we missed, we had to I went back twice because of Covid. And so we just thought we'd meet up on the day we were going to get married.

01:00:45:14 – 01:01:05:20
We'd all meet up in London. My brothers. My. Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah, yeah. Good mates and, tea turned up in a mask, like one of those visors and, and the face mask and the face mask. Right. And he's like. Which is the one, you know, he's protecting themselves and protecting others. We had a couple of beers.

01:01:05:20 – 01:01:32:09
They all went out a window, and that's what happens. It. And I remember looking at his visor, it was on the floor. And people would be like, yeah, so stupid. Yeah, go out and spend money. Nighttime, for the Queen London bombings in 2005 and the Russian invasion of Ukraine. What is your what's your, number one out of all of those?

01:01:32:11 – 01:01:58:15
Number one. But in terms of the most captivating and, like, out of body experience, be 911. Yeah. 911 is tough in it. Yeah. Top top tier. But in terms of surreal, I'd say the lockdowns just bizarre. Homeschooling that. Oh God, that was a fucking nightmare. How long did you last? We gave up. We gave up my. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:01:58:16 – 01:02:24:02
Fairly quickly. I'm like, this is what I was like. I was speaking to my mum. She went, Gary, this may never happen again. I like to go out and play and they can just relax and they can, you know. So because I was stressing over the homeschooling because it was so difficult, it's difficult. I have honestly I have a since then.

01:02:24:04 – 01:02:54:10
I didn't really think much about teachers. They have an in really difficult job. I really do respect teachers because I'm looking at the boys and I'm like, bro, what's what's seven plus eight? Yeah. What's if I, if if I've got eight apples. Right. And you take four away. How many apples of my left. Seven. What. What do you mean seven?

01:02:54:12 – 01:03:19:10
Look how many or I'm holding eight of these. I'll take four away. How many is left in my hand? And what I've learned is that pressure means that their brains don't work. Because you put pressure, you're getting frustrated, and their little brains are not. I love that since and I've been simplifying stuff he was talking about, he was the maths problems in in primary school.

01:03:19:12 – 01:03:51:23
I didn't understand, yeah, I finally I, you know, mine's exactly the same. Exactly same with, my daughter as well. My youngest. And the thing you were saying about, like, the frustration and teachers and the respect that you have, like, even though I know that I'm being fresh, getting frustrated, and I'm saying it in a way of like, if I had four apples, four, and I'm doing it really, like condescending and just being the knob, I can't help it, you know?

01:03:51:23 – 01:04:10:10
I mean, because the frustration it just gets, it just gets the better of me and even not not school stuff like, I'll say my daughter should walk past and be like, what have you got? And she's like, I've got some slime and I've put this in it and I'm not. Yes. Right. Okay. Just, just get on with it.

01:04:10:12 – 01:04:14:12
Yeah. I just, I want say it.

01:04:14:14 – 01:04:37:04
What dog poo I was, I was, I was that one, right. White dog poo was a thing. Yeah. Where is that gone. That it's it's like it's to do with the food. The dog. It's it I've had I don't know, it's just that everyone's picking up that I know. They know what, like, no, it's, it's the thing with the.

01:04:37:06 – 01:05:04:18
I think it's a chalk or something in the food. And that's what made the dog's poo. What? Wow. I think we talked about this on this book. I don't know, I know, I don't remember fucking now. Oh, wait. That's another thing. That kind of, how is the society? Did we go from dogs to shitting everywhere and everyone being right about it to now everyone has to pick up their dog poo.

01:05:04:20 – 01:05:25:19
Now, when did that there wasn't a massive campaign of everyone must pick up the like. Everyone just started doing it. I'm not. I'm well on board with that. Everyone pick up your dog shit. But there was just kind of like a switch in society. When? When did that happen? I mean, I feel you should have always picked up your dog poo, mate.

01:05:25:21 – 01:05:53:16
Is not 90s fucking dog shitting everywhere. The amount of times you got to play football and you got shit all over. Yeah, that was good. The sliding tackle when you like that shit. So I all over me. You wouldn't go, oh, no. Nice car. Yeah. Right. We've got dilemmas and something on. You know, the dilemma is called it can't go on like this and something only you know is mum will know what to do.

01:05:53:22 – 01:06:20:16
The topic for next week. We've had two submissions on the same thing, so I think we'll do it. Someone wrote an email them and they put. They were watching a program and someone was described as aggressively British. What does that mean? And we had another email. What are the things that are so British? So I just thought, why don't we get a part about being British?

01:06:20:18 – 01:06:45:08
Yeah. What British? What what's your British culture? What does British culture mean to you? Is it visually like a red telephone box and letterbox? Is a form in a queue, as we all do, and love in Britain? Or is it something like free drinks before the actual drinks? That's what makes me proud to be British, by the way.

01:06:45:12 – 01:07:17:08
That's that's the thing that I love the most, is that before we're going out on a night out fucked up, why don't we go around someone's house before we get fucked up and get fucked up before we get fucked up? Get two fucked up, and then you. You see about every fucking. I love that. And anything that you're proud to be British about, anything that you're embarrassed to be, anything that you just, you know, want to mention about being British, send in to lads anon pot at gmail.com and we will read them out.

01:07:17:10 – 01:07:19:22
Now we're going to go into dilemma.

01:07:20:16 – 01:07:50:10
Oh just tired. And you got a tissue for a tissue. You big that at least a naked English. So I leave you flat. Please talk to freaking your flat head. Let that stretch off your chest. What do you think you deserve? Like your thighs need to get nice warm between waking and.

01:07:50:12 – 01:08:22:11
It can't go on like this. That's a delicate one, and I'm not sure you can answer. I'm fucked if I know my wife and I have three beautiful boys. We both have decent careers, a lovely home, family holidays nobody goes without. And we're very, very grateful. But the one thing that's missing is intimacy with my wife. I'm not talking just about sex, but we don't kiss, cuddle or show each other any affection in brackets.

01:08:22:11 – 01:08:50:04
Not from the one of me trying, though. I understand life is tiring, stressful. There's no time. But the last time we had sex was two and a half to three years ago. I've tried initiating, but getting rejected all the time is demoralizing. So I stopped ages ago. I've tried to talk about it seriously with her, changed it up to drunken casual chats and even banter.

01:08:50:06 – 01:09:13:07
But the subject always quickly changes at times it feels like we're two single parents sharing a bed together. I love her, I love the family we've created for our beautiful boys. But I can't go on like this. I'm emotionally drained and checked out. I feel alone and I can't talk to anyone about this. But you boys, please tell me this is normal.

01:09:13:09 – 01:09:46:01
You've experienced similar or I have nothing to worry about. What do I do? Let's. Well, we know, we know, you know. Free after free. Okay. Want to free breakfast? Yeah. No, don't do that. I look, I think there's parts of firstly, no, that isn't a healthy relationship. And those, those are things you quite rightly. You want to receive.

01:09:46:03 – 01:10:18:01
And it's not people. I think people, especially when it's from a man's perspective, people assume that it's sex is about relief or about, you know, getting off. Yeah. Well, actually, sex and moreover, intimacy is so important. And if you don't receive it, you, you, you feel you feel all the things that he's just described are exactly how you do feel.

01:10:18:03 – 01:10:37:01
And, and I've said this before, but any women listening to this, and you want your, you want to make your husband's day. I'm not going to say give him a blowjob. I'm going to say go up to him, cut it in from behind, unsolicited, and kiss him on the neck and then walk away. It will fill his world up, I promise.

01:10:37:03 – 01:10:59:23
Yeah, it won't mean he's immediately going to spin around. Want to have sex? It doesn't mean any of that does with Ricky. But most people it doesn't. Yeah, yeah. And you're just fulfilling them. You're just. Just giving a little tenderness. And then archetypal man's world. Quite difficult. It's quite rough. Quite hard. You having to deal with other men constantly.

01:11:00:00 – 01:11:22:07
If you're in a certain environment, you have to be competitive. If you're super successful, you're competing against other people. And that moment that a wife can give you of just relief from what's going on inside your brain constantly, it's honestly, it's worth its weight in gold. And that's what this guy's missing. Yeah.

01:11:22:09 – 01:11:50:13
If you've tried to. You've tried. Totally tried talking about it. Yeah. It's not about sex. It's about intimacy. It's because, I mean, you could, in in that instance, I guess, if you're absolutely, completely neglected, that while this isn't a good idea, you know, you there are professional services out there that you can you can use that that I guess no one need know about.

01:11:50:14 – 01:12:15:08
But ultimately, it feels like something will happen. And, you'll end up having an affair, or you'll find in someone else what you're not getting in in front of your wife. I think. Or you just like this forever. Yeah. And if you've tried to instigate something. And. Look, I'm all saying this is definitely an absolute. I don't know, I'm not a counselor.

01:12:15:08 – 01:12:38:10
I haven't got any clues about how to actually advise you, but you're asking for the advice, and this is all I can give. If she's not willing to. To even give you, you know, cuddle a kiss. It's. That isn't enough. You can't live like that. It's not fair on both of you. And and you can't dictate when the intimacy dies in a relationship.

01:12:38:10 – 01:13:00:02
You can't control that. It's not. It's impossible to. And it happens in many relationships that were completely loving once. But you really need to have an honest and frank conversation with her. And she may not be willing to do that because she may be scared about what she might say. But something that has to change. You can't live like that forever.

01:13:00:04 – 01:13:25:21
Know you said all the things you're feeling are significant, right? Yeah, completely. I mean, there are times where, like, telling it like this is normal. Have you experienced similar and you have lows I yeah, exactly. There is like, what happened recently? I'm quite a to I'm very a touchy feely type, person in a relationship and it makes me feel, secure and loved.

01:13:25:21 – 01:13:52:23
And I'm not talking about just, you know, sex, but just the physicality of, someone being there, that closeness and that connection where my message is quite, What's the word I'm looking for? It's, like, task orientated of showing, of affection, like if, she's out and she comes back in and I've hoovered the house, done the dishwasher.

01:13:52:23 – 01:14:17:24
And that for her is that's her kind of, I'm showing affection in that way because she knows that's what I would like. But there are times, like leading up to my daughter's birthday recently. Now I know my Mrs.. Her mind is everywhere. She's, she's, you know, starting her own business. She's sort in the stuff out for my daughter's birthday.

01:14:18:05 – 01:14:40:16
She sort in other stuff out. Her mind is absolutely filled. And the last thing that's on her mind is intimacy or sex or whatever. But there was, like, 4 or 5 days where we were lying in bed together. And nine times out of ten, when we go to sleep, we are touching. Now might be a leg over a leg, our feet are touching whatever.

01:14:40:16 – 01:15:02:12
We're very close. But we were like laying. It was like there were two single beds pushed against each other and there was like a divide. Now I know that her mind was so focused on other things, and it wasn't about me or our relationship. It it just made me feel so distant. Do you know what I mean? That and it made me sad.

01:15:02:14 – 01:15:22:19
And it you know, I've just. Yeah, I was gonna say what? You fucking love it. So I'm listening to you, right? And then I'm creating scenarios in my head about how you might, change the mood. And that's what made me laugh. So I was imagining you doing things. Not sexy. Yes. How I take it. Good.

01:15:22:21 – 01:15:50:09
I just imagined you getting up, like, naked for some reason and thinking about your naked, naked body walking around the room and, like, starting to talk to Donna and you. Just your hands on your hips. You will. That's what. That's what made me laugh. Sorry. No. Yes. Well, how did you resolve it? Well, I mean, I just let nature take its course, after the birthday was done, after everything done, we had people round for a takeaway.

01:15:50:09 – 01:16:12:17
We had people round all day dropping off presents. After a couple of days, everything settled down. I was lying there, and then, sure enough, leg comes over. Mine, comes over me and it's not back to that. Sometimes you got to give space or give room to breathe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And even though on me I'm like, I'm, affection and that connection and that touch.

01:16:12:17 – 01:16:32:14
Does she not love me anymore? Like, hey, what's happening to us? So we drifted apart. Yeah. It's nothing. It's, you know, you get in your own head. Yeah. You break your pain, your brain starts working overdrive. I have that massively. Yeah. So, so although I know, like you're saying about that, this is like, turn off for a year and I'm saying 4 or 5 days or whatever.

01:16:32:19 – 01:17:00:06
I know this, it's different, but I'm just saying I can empathize with you in that short amount of time when I don't have that connection, it makes me feel sad. So I get that you're it's also you have a yearning and searching for so, so really common. Me really really common. I've just done a quick search and in in the UK, 23% of people in relationships report a lack of fit.

01:17:00:08 – 01:17:27:00
Physical intimacy is a major issue. That's 1 in 5 in America. It's 1 in 5, so it's not normal. I think you would be within your rights to go and speak to a counselor as well, not, not necessarily a marriage counselor at this stage, although that could well be a great idea. But just talk to someone in the field and speak to them and say like, because they'll reassure you about how common it is.

01:17:27:02 – 01:17:47:12
And there also have methods of of approaching it, but you can't not do nothing. Right. That's the desire. The desire is the easiest things to do. Nothing. The easiest things just carry on for the next two years. Not having sex, not being intimate, not talking about this stuff. And it's not easy because you're the only one willing to talk at this stage.

01:17:47:14 – 01:18:04:19
You cannot. This cannot be it forever. And I'm sure your wife doesn't want it to be that forever. Ever. Yeah. So I only on your own time to talk to a counselor and say, this is my problem. Can you help me attempt to resolve this? There'll be tons of people out there. If you can afford to do it.

01:18:04:21 – 01:18:28:23
Yeah, I don't I hadn't thought about that. As in going to I thought about relationship counseling, marriage counseling, but not as in an individual for start there this person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get advice and guidance for someone who isn't emotionally connected to it, who is unlike what we are, which is which is not equipped to really understand the situation other than personal experience, but someone who's trained, who understands these problems that are so common.

01:18:29:00 – 01:18:46:11
So that's what I that's what I would say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Good. Good advice. And, if I, if I meet you, I'll give you a hug. Okay. How about, Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'll give you a hug. Yeah. So you've got that to look forward to. Write something. I know you know.

01:18:46:11 – 01:18:51:22
Wow. Something on me, you know?

01:18:51:22 – 01:19:11:09
My. And I will today. We're going back a few years to. When I was a kid, about 11. I was playing in the woods with my brother and cousins near my aunt's house when I realized I needed to take a poo, I excused myself from the rest, grabbed a couple of leaves to properly clean up afterwards, and headed for a bit of privacy.

01:19:11:10 – 01:19:29:21
What? What you just went home? Where did he. Where was he? Camping. Yeah, I think it's just playing in the woods. Maybe near his house. Near his aunt's house. He could run home. My aunt's. If I was ever in that situation. When I was a kid, when I went home, I think I would find the grab a bunch of leaves and find a tree to shit behind.

01:19:29:21 – 01:19:33:10
For fuck's sake.

01:19:33:12 – 01:20:09:04
So I dropped my shorts and squatted down and had my turn out there in the woods. Leaves used to clean up, back there and I pull my shorts up. Good to go. Only I wasn't good to go. What? What I didn't realize in my youthful inexperience is that when I squatted, I did sit directly over my shorts, depositing an entire load of shit into my underwear, which are then proceeded to pull up spots, making a right mess of everything down there.

01:20:09:06 – 01:20:32:13
I grabbed a few more leaves to scoop the poo out of my shorts, but the damage had already been done. My back's out an underwear with so shamefully she's made a mistake to go and find my mom. She know. What did they yellow tree. Everyone else had to go back to my aunt's house making up some excuse. It was such a long, uncomfortable and messy walk back.

01:20:32:18 – 01:20:52:03
Luckily, my mum was able to get me sorted but no one else the wiser and to this day is my most embarrassing public poo story. Yes, my oh my mum is dead now as I'm truly the only one alive that still knows this tale well. And that is something only I know. Sorry about that. That is a good story.

01:20:52:05 – 01:21:20:10
Yeah, yeah, that was a good story. I do, you know what? When I, read this, it it brought back another memory for now, it wasn't like, me, the goat going for poo. I've never thought about this in fucking years, but I used to play, World Cup doubles, write my mates back garden. Do you remember the old girl with the white girls that the powers that be clicking together and then have a, a white net?

01:21:20:12 – 01:21:37:08
And it was just a small garden. Small goal in the garden playing World Cup doubles. Imma make back guard and rule playing. And I've been paired up with this guy, and we're playing. And I'm not fucking asking about shit or looking in the grass. No shit. There's no shit anywhere. Karen. Thank God I can really smell shit.

01:21:37:08 – 01:21:57:22
I can. Where is it coming from? And as we you're playing this lad whose house it was, said Ricky, I need to speak to him in the in the, in the shed. So I said all right and say went in the shed. And he shut the door and he just pulled his pants down and he goes, I've done a pig.

01:21:57:24 – 01:22:15:18
And then was honestly the no, no, no. Yeah. In his own house. In his own house. Are you sure about it? I think he's right. He showed me there was a fight. There was an actual long log of a hole in his pants. And you know what he did? He pulled his pants up, and we just carried on playing.

01:22:15:18 – 01:22:42:15
Well, that was after that. That is fucking mental. What? Never thought of it. Yeah. That's talk to in the shed. They, That one was you. We must have been eight, nine, ten around that, Yeah. Around that, around that sensational man. Lovely stuff. Right. The topic for next week is British. What is being British mean to you?

01:22:42:17 – 01:23:07:21
Sending your answers to lads. Anon pod at gmail.com. And until Monday we will see you then. Patrons. We will see you now. Friday. Oh, I'm going to also I'm going to play I'm going to play a play us out. Alex Kamau Man on the moon album coming soon. Not man on the moon. Man is Quinn. No moon has got a grid.

01:23:07:23 – 01:23:23:14
Enjoy this. This is for switching. You know, man, he's the vibe. I'm bring him melancholic like the man upon the wall.

01:23:23:16 – 01:23:47:18
He's still if I. If I'm bringing by the moon. Good grief. Good good good good good. Green. It's not like lockdown. Like, the get me wrong, man. I'm at the moment like sitting on a rainy all day looking over a valley of all day. And then you miry clay. The sky will triumph and you think you might cry.

01:23:47:20 – 01:24:01:04
It resonates with a feeling of strength from another little death. The valiant might even bring it melancholic. Like the man upon the wall. Under.

01:24:01:06 – 01:24:11:00
The fiery bomb. Bringing the. The moon is blood green equal to green. Eagle green. The green.

01:24:11:02 – 01:24:40:10
Melancholy like. Reflect. What you got a little poem still strong. You bright like white on the sea. We still sing. Got birds on tree. Got a lot wild fascination for flight retailing for see next steps on quest. Next step in the valley is taste. For now I'm going to enjoy this rainy I'll be if I. If I'm drinking then click like the moon upon your eyes.

01:24:40:12 – 01:25:11:05
Is the fiery bomb. Bring in the. The moon is good. Green for the green is good. Green. The green is the vibe I'm bringing. Melancholic like the moon upon the wall I. It's the vibe I'm bringing. But the mood is good. Greekl greekl greekl. Green.

01:25:11:07 – 01:25:11:24
Oh.